SUBSCRIPTION TERMS, AC. The IWQI IRM it published every FRIDAY morn ing at the following ratee : OSR YEAH, (in advrnoe,) $2.00 " " (if not paid within eix not)... $2.50 " " (if not paid within the year,)... $3.00 All papers outside of the county discontinued without notice, at the expiration of the time for which the subscription has been paid. tjingle copies of the paper furnished, in wrappers, at five cents each. Communications on subjects of local or general interest, are respectfully solicited. To ensure at tention farors of this kind must invariably be accompanied by the name of the author, not for publication, but as a guaranty against imposition. All letters pertaining to business of the office hould be addressed to DURBOKROW i LUTZ, HHDSOUD, PA. j NXWSPAPICH LAWS.—We would call the speeial attention of Post Masters and subscribers to the Isoi-maa to the following synopsis of the News paper laws: 1. A Postmaster is required to give notice Ay letter, (returning a paper does not answer the law) when a subscriber does not take his paper out of the nffioe, and state the reasons lor its not being taken; and a neglect to do so makes the Postmas ter rrpeonrible to the publishers (or the payment. 2. Any person who takes a paper from the Post office, whether directed to his name or another, or whether he has subscribed or not is responsible for the pay. 3. If a person orders his paper discontinued, he must pay all arrearages, or the publisher may continue to send it until payment is made, and collect the whole amount, I ch.tker it be token from she offer or not. There can be no legal disoontin uence until the payment is uiede. 4. If the subscriber orders bis paper to be stopped at a certain time, and the publisher eon tinucs to send, the subscriber is bound to pay for it, if hr tnkrr it out of the Port Offer. The law proceeds upon the ground that a man must pay for what he uses. 5. The courts have decided that refusing to take newspapers and periodicals from the Post office, or removing and having them uncalled for, is prima fycia evidence of intentional fraud. ATTORNEYS AT LAW. J OHN T. KEAGY, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW. Office opposite Reed A ScbeU's Bank. Counsel given in English and German. [apl26] AND LINGENFELTER, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, BKDFORD, FA. Have formed a partnership in the practice of the Law, in new brick building near the Lutheran Church. [April 1, 1864-tf IYR. A. POINTS, ATTORNEY AT LAW, BanroßD, PA. Respectfully tenders his professional services jo the public. Office with J. W. Lingeu feltcr, Esq., on Public Square near Lutheran Church. promptly made.. [Dee.9,'64-tf. | | AYES IRVINE, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Will faithfully and promptly attend to all busi ness intrusted to his care. Office withG. H. Spang, Esq., on Juliana street, three doors south of the Mengel House. May 24:1y EHPY M. ALSIP, ATTORNEY AT LAW, BENRORP, PA., Will faithfully and promptly attend to all busi ness entrusted to his care in Bedford and adjoin ing counties. Military claims, Pensions, back pay, Bounty, Ac. speedily collected. Office with Mann A Spang, on Juliana street, 2 doors south of the Mengel House. apl 1, 1864.—tf. S. F. METERS A. W. DICKERS')* VfEYERSA DICKERSON, iVI ATTORNEYS AT LAW, BEDFORD, PBSITA., Office nearly opposite the Mengel House, will practice in the several Courts of Bedford county. Pensions, bounties and back pay obtained and the purchase of Real Estate attended to. [may 11,'66-ly U Is. STUCKI3Y, ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW, and REAL ESTATE AGENT, Office on Main Street, between Fourth and Fifth, Opposite the Court House, KANSAS CITY. MISSOURI. Will practice in the adjoining Counties of Mis souri and Kansas. July 12:tf S. L. RUSSELL. H- LOSGESBCKER TJUSSELL A LONGENECKER, Li ATTOR-VKYS A COUNSELLORS AT LAW, Bedford, Pa. , Will attend promptly and faithfully to all busi ness entrusted to their care. Special attention given to collections and the prosecution of claim? for Back Pay, Bounty, Pensions, Ac. .piT-OffieS on Juliana street, south of the Court House. Aprils:lyr. J* M'n. SHARPS *• ?• NSUR SB HARPE A KERR, A TTORSE YS-A T-LA W. Will practice in the Courts of Bedford and ad joining counties. Ail business entrusted to their care will receive careful and prompt attention. Pensions. Bounty, Back Pay, Ac., speedily col lected from the Government. Office on JuliaDa street, opposite the banking house of Reed A Sehell, Bedford, Pa. mar2:tf J. R. DURBOKROW JOHN LUTE. DURBOKROW A LUTZ, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, BEBFORD, PA., Will attend promptly to all business intrusted to their care. Collections made on the shortest no tice. They are, also, regularly licensed Claim Agents and will give special attention to the prosecution of claim? against the Government for Pensions, Back Pay, Bounty, Bounty Lands, Ac. Office on Juliana street, one door South of the Inquirer office, and nearly opposite the ' Mengel House" April 28, 1865:t PHYSICIANS. \yr.M. W. JAMISON, M. D, BLOOOT RUN, PA., Respectfully tenders his professional services to the people of that place and vicinity. [deeß:lyr B. F. HARRY, Respectfully tenders his professional ser vices to the citiiens of Bedford and vicinity. Office and residence on Pitt Street, in the building formerly occupied by Dr. J. H. Hofius. [Ap'l 1,64. nR. S. G. STATLER, near Schellsburg. and Dr. J. J. CLARKE, formerly of Cumberland county, having associated themselves in the prac tice pf Medicine, respectfully offer their profes sional services to the citircns of Schellsburg and vicinity. Dr. Clarke's office and residence same ? formerly occupied by J. White, Esu., dee'd. S. a. SYATLKR, Schellsburg, Aprill2;ly. J. J. CLARKE. MISCELLANEOUS. OE. SHANNON. BANKER, • BKDFORD, PA. BANK OF DISCOUNT AND DEPOSIT. Collections made for the East, West, North and South, and the general business of Exchange transacted- Notes and Account* Collected and Remittances promptly made. REAL ESTATE bought and sold. feb22 DANIEL BORDER, PITT STRRET, TWO POORS WEST OF THE BED FORD HOTEL, BEBFORD, PA. WATCHMAKER AND DEALER IN JEWEL RY. SPECTACLES. AC. lie keeps on hand a stock of fine Gold and Sil ver Watches, Spectacles of Brilliant Double Refin ed Glasses, also Scotch Pebble Glasses. Gold Waich Chains. Breast I'ins, Finger Rings, best quality of Gold Pens. He will supply to order any thing in bis line not on hand. [pr.2B.'6i. G I'. IIARBAUGH & SON, Travelling Dealers in NOTIONS. Tn the county once every two months. SELL GOODS AT CITY PRICES. Agentsfor the Chamhersburg Woolen Manufac turing Company. Apl l:!y D*. CROUSE j WHOLESALE TOBACCONIST, On Pitt atreot two door.* west of B. F. Hwrry'* Drug Store, Bedford, Pa., is uow prepared to sol! by Wholesale all kinds of CIGARS. All orders promptly filled. Persons desiring anything ja his line will do well to give him a call, gedfutd Oct 26. '65., DL'UBORROW & LUTZ, Proprietors. € DURATIONAL. ANNUAL REPORT of the SCIIOOLN OF BEDFORD COUNTY. EDUCATIONAL PROGRESS IN THE COUNTY. A careful examination of the facts given in the following report, will show tliat the common schools of our county have, in many resjieets, made considerable progress during the past year. This will be particularly no ticeable in the number and kind of houses built, and the care exercised in the selection of sites for the same; number of schools fur nished with apparatus; increase of salary paid to teachers; number of teachers who attended county and district institutes; bet ter qualification of teachers and increase of interest on the part of the public. The sys tem is a power that is slowly but surely overcoming its enemies here as well as else where. Public opinion is fast becoming ed ucated to the fact that on the success of these schools depend the strength and glory of our commonwealth. It is true that here and there we still find a croaker who "makes a hoarse noise" because "the light is break ing, but the great majority of our jieople are warmly attached to the schools, and are giving freely and liberally of their monies toward their support. GRADED SCHOOLS. Little change has been made in these; ! Bedford and Woodberry have added two additional teachers, and Rainsburg has sep arated her pupils into two classes according to age and progress. There are now four graded schools, employing thirteen teachers. Several other districts are preparing to grade one or more of the schools during the com ing year. Each year more fully shows the advantages these schools afford their pupils and we would again urge their speedy adop tion at Pleasantville, St. Clairsville, Saxton and Stonerstown, HOUSES AND GROUNDS. Twelve new houses — eight more that last year — were built. One in Bedford tp. ; one in Coleruin; two in Cumberland Valley; one in Harrison; one in Hopewell; one in Mon roe; one in St. Clair; three in Southampton and one in Middle Woodberry. In nearly every instance particular attention was PAID to "location" in building the above houses. Directors, availing themselves of the jiower given them by the late supplement to the school law, procured eligible sites with a sufficient amount of grounds, and had the same projierly deeded to the respective boards. This plain duty has been greatly neglected heretofore. The houses built in Bedford. Cumberland Valley, Harrison and Middle Woodberry townships deserve s)>eeial notice. They have been built with a view to the future, as well as to the present wants of the districts, and are in respect to size and general arrangement among the best in the county. The Woodberry house is a mod el. The spirit manifested by the boards of Cumberland Valley and Southampton is especially commendable. They built five new houses during the past year; have sold out five more to be erected during the pres ent summer, and are taking initiatory steps toward replacing all the "old log" with good houses. While we sjieak well of these we cannot but condemn the carelessness and shortsighted policy shown in building the house in Colerain. The whole building to gether with the furniture is a total failure. Think of it, doors planed on the one side, rough on the other; benches and desks, that fall to pieces after three icteks using, and windows fastened, so that they cannot tie lowered. The directors should never have taken the job off the builder's hands. In Napier, Schellsburg, Monroe and Union arrangements have been made to build new houses during the coming year. We look for some model buildings here. Thus we see that while a few townships are still willing to continue to occupy miserable log houses, in the majority — where new hou ses are needed — as may be seeu by referring to "statistical report," they are making the proper effort to improve. FURNITURE AND APPARATUS. With new houses comes improved furni ture. Two of the rooms in the graded schools of Bedford, together with all the new houses, save one, were supplied with good furniture. That put into the second grammar school, Bedford, is the best in the county. One hundred and twelve schools were supplied with Pierce's Magnetic Globes at a cost of about SIBOO.OO. These were ! purchased fur the schools of Bedford, Broad | Top, Coledale, Londonderry, Liberty, Har rison, Napier, Middle Woodberry. Monroe, | Southampton, St. Clair, Saxton, South Woodberry- and West Providence. Sixty ! Schools were supplied with primary charts. There are now only six schools in the county wholly without apparatus, and these are the most backward schools we have. One hun dred and fifty-two have out-line Maps; one hundred and fifteen, globes, charts and maps, and aIS ~ t one hundred and ninety have blackboard surface. There are, how ever, only thirteen that are well supplied with apparatus. The directors have mani fested a willingness, far beyond that hereto fore exhibited, to supply the schools with apparatus. QUALIFICATIONS AND SALARIES OF TEACHERS. There has beeu a change in the average qualification of teachers. In point of scholarship, the teachers are stead y im proving. Last year the average grade of certificates was 2.52. This year, although eighty per cent cf the applicants were ex amined intwo additional branches — United STATES Historv and School Economy, and although the examinations were fully as rigid as those of last year, the average grade is 2,29. One year ago, only one teacher in the County caine up to the requirements of the Professional Certificate; now eight are teaching, who passed the requisite examina tion, and attained Professional Certificates and quite a number more are preparing to receive the honor. Wages are advancing. The reports from a few townships will show this. Last year the average wages in Liberty were, for males $29,83: Females, $26,50. This year, average for males, $33,66; Fe males, $30,08. Bedford township, average, last year, for males, $29,83. Females, $25,- 70. This year, the average wages for males, $32,50; Females, $31,00. Southampton, averge wages, for males, last year, $24,89; Females, $24,85. This year, average for males, $27,00, Females, $29,16. Cumber land Vallev, average wages for males last year, $25.00; Females, $21.00. This year the ararage wages for utalcs, were $35,00- Females, $35,35. The same marked change might be shown in the jpojority of the townships of the county. In some, the, I average MAY fall below that of one or two 3 Hocal antr t&enrral Jlrtospaprr, Drbotrti to ©olitirs, (Education, literature anb i&orals. years ago, bat this will be owing to the fact that directors adopted the wise pian in such townships, of paying teachers accor ding to their qualifications or grade of cer tificate. The general tendency is to pay teachers more liberally for their services. Little change was made in the methods of INSTRUCTION', two branches — reading and pen manship—were, however, more efficiently taught, than last year and History was taught for the first lime in thirty of our Schools. Few Directors visit the Schools regularly. Several townships had district superintendents who discharged their da ties well. Out of the whole number of teachers em ployed one hundred and eighteen had atten ded a normal School and one hundred and fifty six — an increaso of twenty five over last year— had studied some work on teaching. One hundred and thirty six males and fifty eight females were employed; seven — five males and two females —HAVlNG made a mis take in their choira of occupation, proved total failures and were dismissed. EDUCATIONAL WORK DONE BY THE SUPERIN TENDENT. Twenty eight public and twelve private examinations were held. Eighty four di rectors and one hundred and sixty seven citizens were present at the public examina tions. I recall with pleasure the examina tions in Hairison. Liberty, Middle Wood bury and South Woodbury, at each of which the citizens manifested a lively in terest in the work and awaited with great patience the result of the day's labors. One hundred and sixty three provisional and eight professional certificates were issued at the public and thirty two provisional cer tificates at the private examinations. Eighteen applicants were rejected, and six certificates from other counties were, by re quest from boards of directors, endorsed. We found after the first public examina tions were over that at least thirty scbools must remain closed, for we had adhered strictly to the published notice for exemina tions, viz; —"that those only need apply who are prepared to stand an examination in History and Methods of Instruction. We had followed the "letter" of the law, but found it left us greatly in want; hence, after receiving authority from "the powers that be," we examined a limited number of teachers, coming up to the requirements, of one year ago. Still we fotnd it necessary to hold private examinations in different pars of the County, as in several instances, the directors had "takeD the bit into their own mouths ' and employed teachers, not ex amined, with the understanding that 4 "if they tailed when the Superintendent came 'round they would receive no pay." Some did fail. Thus it was that so many were examined privately. *lt was a work of necessity. The "new supplement" made the supply of teachers exceedingly short and all lawful means had to be resorted to, in order to fill the schools. Not all were filled. We had thirty three applicants less than last year. The new law is a good ODeand in a year or two more we will be ready to meet it fully. The examinations continued until late in the fall, thus vefy materially inter fering with the visiting of Schools already open. Two hundred and four schools were visited at an average length of 1.54, to each visit. I attended several district and two j County institutes, eleven educational meet- I ings and visited twenty four schools in Philadelphia for information. No tiuie was ; lost during the term of the public schools, The County Institute — the first held here for three years — was a success. Ninety four teachers were present at its sessions and all manifested considerable interest The in stitute was held in November. At its close, the teachers went to their respective fields of labor and began organizing district insti tutes. One year ago ten teachers attended j a township institute; last winter the number j was increased to fifty one. District insti- ; tutes did good work wherever they were opened, save in Middle Woodbury. We state facts, though we may not flatter some of our teachers. EDUCATIONAL WORK DONE BY OTHER AGENCIES. Thirty-three private schools were opened during the year. Twelve hundred and forty pupils attended these, employing forty one teachers, at a cost of five thousand eight hundred and thirty-five dollars. As these schools were, with a few exceptions, conduc ted by our ablest teachers, they did good I work. We have few private schools open j during the term of the public schools, hence, ! we do not feel that spirit of antagonism BE \ tween the two, so prevalent in some coun ties. All work together in jierfeet harmony for the common good. Our County Normal School is still liber ally patronized, and supplies in a measure the growing want of a higher institution of learning. One hundred and forty students attended, eighty-five of whom taught during the year. The school was under my direct superintendnote, assisted by Prof. R. A. MeClure, of Chamhersburg, J. M. Reynolds and Miss F. M. Haley,. of the MillersviHe Normal School, ami Miss Maggie McCleory, of Bedford. The Rainsburg Academy, un der the charge of Prof. J. W. Hughes; the school at Woodberry, taught by J. G. Kreichbaum and W. C. Smith, and the school at New Paris, conducted by J. A. Songster, all did good work in preparing teachers. "The press is free." We need but ask and the editors give us space for any educatienal items. OBSTACLES IN THE WAY OF IMPROVEMENT. We have notieed a number of features in our schools that show advancement, but we have yet to look at some of the obstacles in the way of progress. Among these are ir regular attendance ; want of thorough class ification; want of public interest; shortness of school term; frequent change of teachers; employment of incompetent teachers; ne glect on the part of many boards of directors to pay teachers in projiortion to their quali fications, and heavy rate of taxation. The remedy for the first three evils, lies almost entirely in the hands of the teacher. Our skilful teachers readily overcome these, and unless the first has become chronic, the teacher who understands how to use the in incentives at his command will not fail to effect a cure. We want more effi cient teachers. IT has been said that " any one may teach the higher de partments, but to teach well the elements requires a master," and that, "the merit, of conveying easily to others true anil simple notions, is much greater than is commonly supjiosed; for experience proves how rarely this is to be met with." We know the truth of the above. Look at the record in our county and then judge from tlie tmtqre of BEDFORD, PA., FRIDAY, JUNE 26, 1868. things how many " masters" we have. LAFT year, cf the whole numlier employed, fifty nine had had 110 experience, and seventy had taught less than one year. This year we employed forty-five raw recruits and seventy-two who had not seen one year s service. Each year about 50 PER RENT, of our teachers seek em loyment in some other occupation. Their places are filled by young men and women who labor with us TOR a short time, many of them zealously, with a determination to succeed, and then, when they are prepared to teach — quit the profes sion. Now why this constant change? Sim ply because the term is too short, and wages not sufficient to offer an inducement to keep men in the profession. The same change will go on until we increase the length of the school term and pay more liberally. And while this change goes on , while we employ teachers who will only teach uutil something better offers, we need not look for that perfection of our educational system intenden by the fathers of the same. We therefore, again suggest that one of the means, calculated tn promote imjrrorc mcnt, is more aid from the State. A more equal distribution of the school tax of the State would greatly lessen our burdens and aid us to increase our term. This would check the draft annually made on our most competent teachers and help us to build up a stronger profession. We again ask the respectful attention of the Legislature, through the school Department to a change in the number of school Directors in each district. Experience shows how difficult it is in our rural districts, to have a quorum at any stated meeting. The full board rarely meets; meetings arc called and busi ness is postponed again and again for want of a sufficient number of Directors present. They receive no pay and many have little or no interest in the wotk. There can be but little doubt, that three members iucach Board, a President, Secretary and Treasu rer, paid for their services, would do the work much more efficiently. Still we will work on, believing that in the end we must succeed. We want more earnest heart, work. We believe in labor as a blessing and not as a curse, and we know that sooner or later all will see that intelli gence only fits man the better to fulfill the duties of life. Thus far too much attention has been paid "to the leaves of the human flower; the leaf memory has received much care, while upon judgment and reason grow ing in the region of thought much LESS care has been bestowed, and those still more fragrant, springing from the vety heart of the blossom and in which are the seeds of life, have been, too often almost wholly neg lected." The heart needs more culture. To this the true teacher will ever turn bis thought and attention, remembering, that he is training, not for life only but for eter nity. H. W. FISHER, County Superintendent. GIVE YOUR CIIILO A NEWSPAPER. A child beginning to read, becomes de lighted with a newspaper, because he reads the names of things which arc very familiar, and will make progress accordingly. A newspaper in one year is worth a quarter's schooling to a child, and every father must consider that substantial information in connection with advancement. The mother of a family being one of its heads, and having a more immediate charge of children should herself bo instructed. A mind oc cupied becomes fortified against the ills of life, and is braced for an emergency. Chil dren amused by reading or studying, are of course more considerate and more easily governed. How many thoughtless young men have spent their evenings in a tavern or grog shop who ought to have been read ing? How many parents who have not spent twenty dollars for books for their families, would have given thousands to reclaim a son or daughter who had igno rautly or thoughtlessly fallen into tempta tion ? M R hy not give your child a newspaper, if the results here stated are to be obtained? And who can for a moment doubt that they may? In a well conducted newspaper, the fsrnily will not only have an opportunity of im provement in different branches of litera ture, such as spelling and reading correctly, but will also be possessed of universal knowledge. The children will find the principles of morality, honesty, truthfulness, obedience to pareuts, etc., inculcated in the newspaper — they will meet with incidents in the lives of historic characters, who, from poverty and ignorance by industry, have attained the first ranks in society, in wealth, influence and intelligence; and by thus learning what others have been able to do, will themselves be led to follow their example, and like them secure to them selves success, respectability and renown in the earth. The advantages accruing from the weekly visits of a good newspaper are invaluable. It is a running Cyclopedia of the events and discoveries occurring in every department of life, and with the knowledge it imparts, both parents and children will be enabled to keep up with the various improvements of this progressive age, and better prepared to avoid coming dangers, and avaii them selves of proffered benefits. Let no family be without a good newspaper. SELF-EDUCATION.— Learning that is ac quired at school is but the beginning of our education. It is the theory without the practice of the requirements and duties of life. IT is after leaving school that we are to commence tbe most important part of education — self-education — the applying of what others taught us — the carrying ont of what others have begun for us to our own self-improvement. It is then in reality that education begins, for whatever a man learns himself, he al ways knows better than that which he learns from others. Not that- we shotild disregard the help or advice of others, for it becomes us to use all the aids and facilities we can command. But we should set ourselves at work upoii ourselves, to be independent M'lien we were young our food was pro vided for us; but even then we ate and diges ted it for ourselves ; now we must not only do this, but we must earn it also — acquire it ourselves, so in understanding and knowl edge, become men. AT a large party the other evening, while a young lady was playing the piano with peculiar touch, a bystander remarked: "I'd give tbe world for her fingers." He was greatly taken aback by her promt reply that he might have the whole hand —for bis own. Bqt then H*® leap year, you know, AN ANSWERING HEART. j BT JOHN G. WHITTIKBa Hor window opn to tb bay, On glistening light or miity gray, And there at dawn and set of day In prayer bhe kneels; Dear Lord!' phe saith, "to inanj a home t rom wind and wave the wanderer? come; I only nee the tossing foam Of stranger keeli. "Blown out and in by summer gale?, The stately ships with crowded sails, And sailors leaning o'er their rails, Before me glide; They come, they go, but nevermore, opice-laden from the Indian shore, I see his swift winged Isidore The waves divide. "O Thou! with whom the night is day And One the near and far away, Look out on yon gray waste, and say Where lingers he. Alive, perchance on tome long beach. Or thirsty isle beyond the reach Of man, he hears the mocking speech Of wind and sea. "O, dread and cruel deep, reveal The aeerpt which thy wares conceal And ye, wild sea birds, hither wheel And tell your talc: Let winds that tossed his raven hair A message from my lost one bear— Some thought of me, a last fond prayer Or dying wail! "Come, with your dreariest truth shut out The fears that haunt me round about; O, Ood ! I cannot bear this doubt That stifles bre&th. Tho worst ig better than the dread ; Give me but leave to mourn my dead Asleep in trust and hope, instead Of life in death! It might have been the evening breeze That whispered in the garden trees, It might have been the sound of seas That rose and fell; But, with her heart if not her ear, The old loved veice she seems to hear: "I wait to meet thee—Be of cheer, For all is well! HAVE A CAKE AND BEWARE. There's a boy, seldom coy, has a toy Which consists of a quiver and bow; By reroute he's acute, rather mute, and can shoot, i And bis aim is at random, I trow. It is clear, he's a queer little dear, and I hear That his arrows are swift in their flight; Have a care, and beware how you dare anywhere I Meet the youngster by day or by night. Now he brings 'neath his wings silken strings,' pretty things, Ami he calls them his true lover's knot, Which he tries to disguise as he tea up his eyes, j Then he's blind as a bat every jot; But I find, though he's blind he's inclined oft to j bind Maiden's hearts with his gay "cords of lore:" So beware, have a care how you fare when you dare To commune with this boy as you rove. With a glance of romance he'll advance and en hance All the virtues that he may possess; On his knees he will please: by degrees be will j tease, i Then be'll flatter and soothe and caress: So again, to be plain, if you design to retain In your service this cherub, I say, Have a care, and beware, or he'll dare e'en to j bear You in triumph to hymen one day. I LOOLI ileal [From the Toledo Blade.] NASIIY PAPERS. The 4 firnrjo Convention —Mr. Nasby At- . tends it arid gets on a Heavy Disgust—A I Lecture on Democracy. POST OFFIS, CONFEDERIT X ROADS, ' (wich is in the Stait uv Kentucky,) May; 24, 1868. I wuz at Chicago one day, and that one j day satisfied me. My ears wuz stunned with rores for Grant; wich ever way I turn ed my eyes I saw nothing but Grant badges j and Grant medals; the bands wuz all play ing tbe Star Spangled Banner and sich, and even the street organ grinders had attuned their lyres to the same Ablishun melodies, j Os my arrival I askt a vicious boy, wich ; I kaowd wuz Dimocratic, from the fact that hi, little shirt would have hung out ov his little pants if he'd hed any shirt, ef he cood j show me where the Ablishun convenshun j wuz a holdin itself. "Certainly I kin, my old buffer," said|he, j "it's in that yer bildin," pintin, as he ! spoke, to a rather gorgus edifice with a steeple to it. I eDtercd it, and wuz surprised, not only at the fewness uv the delegates on the floor, but at their pecoolyer appearance. They wuz al! solemn lookin chaps with gold spec tacles, black coats, high foreheads and white neckerehers. "Is this," thot I to myself, "tbe uniform delegates wear at Republican Convcn shuns?" At this pint I turned to a man sittin be- j side me, and in an undertone asked wich wuz ahed on the last ballot, Colfax or Wade? "Sir," said he, "are you a Johnson post master?" "I am," sed I defiantly. "How didst you determine that pint ?" "By yoor breath," sed he. "Your mis- j taken in the place, my friend. This is a . Methodist Conference." That wicked and perverse boy hed inten shcnly deceeved me. Unable to obtain admission into the Ope ra House, I whiled away the rosy hours a visitin the delegashen rooms. The Injeany dclegashen offered me water when I inti mated I wuz athirst. The Ohio delegashen kew me on site, and rekested me to dust, I and the Californy delegashen, of which I hed expected better things, hed the impu dence to offer me wine! Mine! wine! to feed sich a nose ez I carry about. M ine to satisfy the cravins uv sich a stumick ez mine! Faugh! And the man who did it BID bin in Californy twenty yeers ! Disgusted at the thinness uv the bever ages I retired into a friendly hostelry kept by Dennis O Shaugbnessy, and at his hos pitable bar solaced myself with three fingers uv Kentucky sustenance. There wuz no enthoosiasm among the citizens uv Chicago wich I naturally fell among. The s'loon keepers, wich in re membrance uv the Democratic Convenshen uv 1864 had made extra preparasbuns, wuz gloomy, sad, and disappointed. These j places, garnisht for the okkasion, wuz sad | | and lonely. There wuz an entire absence of that gentle gurgle wich to MC is so pleasing; there wuz none uv the generous noses and faces lighted with the radiance born uv the barl wich lam so accustomed to. No, Chi cago wuz no place for me. Its the last Republican convenshcu I shell ever attend. The idea uv a conference sit tin in the same city with a convension ! The idea uv minglin politics with religion I Will there be conferences in NCO Y'ork in Jooly? Methinks not, onlcssmy church shood decide to hold one. On my return we wuz settin in Bascom's a discussin the uominashens. Deekin Ro- SRIMB W"? indignant, "Good Heavens! sed he, with horror in his sainted face, "Kin it BE that men perfessiu nashnel views wood offer sich a insult to Kentucky ez to nomi nate sich a man ez Grant, who, sword in hand, devastated her fertile fields and piled the bodies uv her n iotral sons who resisted his advance, mountains high? Kin it be that —" ' Easy, Deekin," replied I, "stiddy! stid dy! Don't take posishen rashly. It ain't improbable that we may he? to nominate Hancock or some other soljier. IO that event — but I've sed enuff. " "YVEIL, at ail eveoce," sed the Deekin, "its a most hoomiliatin thing to hev thrown in our faces a infamous attempt to subjoo gate us — to pledge our labor to pay a debt uneonstitooshnally inkurred, and un —" "Deekin," sed I, "your zeell do admire, but yoor reely indiscreet. It may be found necessary in order to carry NOO York to nominate Belmont's man, who will be pledg ed to this very thing. Go a little slow." "Well, however that may be, it's a burn in shame to throw into Kentucky's face a Abolitionist — two uv em in fact—and— "Deekin," (I spoke this time severely,) "your very indiscreet to day. It's possible, and I may say probable, that that noble pa triot, Chief Justis Cbase, who hez been a friteful Abolishnist, and who, ef he runs, will, lor obvius reasons, make us swaller at the beginnin a portion uv his heresies, may be our candidate. Say nothing, Deekin, that yoo'lbev to take back.,' Feelin that rite here wuz a splendid chance for an improvin discorse on the na cber, objicks and aims of Democrisy, I opened out unto em. "Dimocrisy," I reniarkt, "is distinguish ed cheefly for its elasticity in adaptingmeaDS to end. One wood suppose that Post Offis is its cheef end. In one sense it is. Dim ocrisy is willin to sacrifice anything wich it hei for Post Offis. It mite raise Deekin Program's ire to sujest the nominashen uv Hancock, on akkount uf his insistin on pay ing off the Nashnel debt, or Chase, who hez bin in his day suspected uv bein tainted with Abolishnism. But, my brcthring, let it be remembered that success is the main objick. Success is what Bascom wants, that I, bein continyood in offis, may hev the means to pay for the likker I consoom, and avoid the necessity uv bein continyooally re kested to chalk it down, which practis he esteems disgustin, and one wich greatly in creases his labors. Captain MePelter wants success that he may continyoo to hev assessors, collectors, and revenoo officers with wich he can divide the profits uv the $2 tax on the whisky he makes, and Dekin I'ogram wants suocess that he may hev the privilege uv hirin em for sl4 per month, deductin 25 cents per day for each day's absence, without no Bu row offiser or military satrap hanging about to molest or make afraid. Success is the main pint, and ef Hancock is the way, walk ye in it; ef Chase or Seymour is the way, walk ye ditto, for with each uv these men, all these things we'll hev. When they come to us they leeve ther former selves be hind. RNF mcthinks T hear one sav. Hancock is a soljier, Seymour a anti-repudiator, and Chase a Ablishnist 1 What uv that? They may be wat they like when they go into offis — assosiashen with us fetches them sooner or later. Kin yoo tetch pitch and not be defiled? Doolittie, Cowan, and Dixon wuz Abolishnists. When they split from Ab lishimu—that rninit they fell into our em braces— the became ez satisfactory Dimo crats ez I cood wish. The road down is an easy one to travel. It's easier to slide than to climb, which is the reason why so many more are damaged than saved. Dimocrisy, like Bascom's new likker, holds a man when it gits him. Johnson wuz a good enuff Ablishnist till he called onto us for help, and then he wuz lost. Let Chase stay with US a week and he'd for git all his old ideas, yoo[bet. Shood you poke that silver piteher at him the niggers give him at Cincinnati for defendin a fugi tive, he'd swear like Peter he never saw it — only differin from Peter in that he'd stick to it. And there is no goin back for the princi pal ones. Ther remorse kind o, drives em deeper and deeper, till they finally are worse then ez tho they originally wuz uv us. Let us, my brethrio, never reject any help we kin git. Let it come in any shape and from any source, it'll finally assimilate to us and be uv us. Remember Johnson, Cowan, Doolittie, and Dixon swore, when they started at Philadelphia, that they never cood go into the ranks uv the Dimocrisy; in a year they wuz makin speeches for us in Connecticut. Ez I eonclooded my remarks, my circle all agreed that it wuz safe to take whatever we cood git from the enemy, and we retired, I feelin that whatever other localities mite do the Corners wuz safe. Wat an outrage it is, though, that the Ablishnists nomina ted sich a man for Vice President ez to make Grant perfectly safe from bein re moved ez Linken wuz. Ef he'selected he'll serve out his time sure. PETROLEUM V. NASBY, P. M. [Wich is Postmaster.) WHAT PARTY DOES THE RETRENCHING? —Our Democratic oppenenta are constantly crying out for retrenchment and reform, but when it is proposed practically to enter on the performencc of snch work, the Demo cracy are missing when their votes are need ed. It is conceded that the affairs of the national administration are conducted entirely under the inspiration of Democratic influence. Every Department but that of War, is controlled by the Democracy. The moment the war ended, Congrass began to cut down public expenses, while Gen. Grant lost not time in mustering out large bodies of men. The last Congress so retrenched as to be able to reduce taxation $120,000,000. This fact is never allowed to see the light of day in any of our Democra tic cotemporaries. Another singular fact is that the present Congress has reduced the estimates for appropriations to carry on all the Departments of the Government. The sum asked by the State Department has been materially reduced; the Secretary I of the Navy was compelled to reduce bis estimates s2o,ooo— the operations of the Treasury Department have been so curtailed by Congress as to save $52,000,000. These arc tacts, practical evidence of the disposi tion of a Republican Congress to retrench, but to such facts the Democracy never al lude. — Exchange. THERE is said to be a great similarity be tween a vain young lady and a confirmed ' drunkard, in that neither pf them can ever j get enough of the glass. VOL. 41s NO.: 24. piscdlnttcm^. TELEGRAM. Office of the Mouth—at one end of the line. Office of the .Stomach —at the other end of it. Inquiry—Mouth to the stomach —"Arc you ready for breakfast?" Stomach—"Yes: what are you going to send?" Mouth—"You will see. Prepare." The table bell rings; body hurries; drops into a chair; mouth opens, and as quickly as ! possible, a cup of coffee at a temperature of; 135 degrees of Fahrenheit. It burns the whole nesophagai track, as it passes it, and when it gets into the Stomach, burns it, and the Stomach contracts and shrivels, and cringes, finally Creeches, and the Mouth says' —"Halloa! what is the mat ter?" Stomach —"Matter? Enough, I should think. Do you not know that I cannot en dure slush at 140 to 160 degrees of heat ?" Mouth—"o, Never mind. Hero comes some beef-stake, with hot fried potatoes, hot rolls and poor butter; some salad with vinegar, some buckwheat cakes with molas ses. These will heal it." Stomach—"Stop! What earthly use is there in sending these down all at one time? They make a hodge-podge." Mouth —"Here comes some more coffee." Stomach —"Hold on ! wait! Give ine some water!" Mouth—"Water! water! when you can get coffee? You must be crazy! Water has no nourishment in it. One wants water only when one is dry." Stomach—"l am thirsty! Give me some water!" Mouth—"Cannot do it! They haven't any water up here. If they have it, it is hot, and I doubt if they have any of that. Persons do not like water; and you, 0 Stomach, are eccentric; stop complaining, and get ready to take some more feed— 'take the good the gods provide,' and be content. Are you content? lamina hurry. Up here, 'time is money,' I have to furnish you with material out of which strength is to be gotten for the body's uses to-day, and I have ten minutes allowed for that purpose. Now the afierpart is your lookout, not mine. Take notice! Are you ready? Here conies apple pie, fried chicken, tripe, tomato catsup, boiled ham, minute pud djng, com bread and cucumbers, pepper, salt, gravy, mince pie, another cup of coffee —so look out!" Stomach—"Look out! 0, murder! What am Ito do! Do! I must grind away at it like a.horse in a bark mill, till 1 am worn out. Under such a condition of things as this, I shall break down in a fourth part of the time which I might work; then the Mouth, and for that matter the heart, too, will be still, and I shall be at peace."— Laics of Life SINGULAR CASE OF SOMNAMBUL ISM. The Toronto Telegraph records a most re markable cast- pf somnambulism: A gentle man doing business on 1 oung street, wno is also something of a horse fancier, made what be thought an excellent investment in horse flesb. On going home in the even ing with his new purchase, he entertained bis family with details of the operation. He retired to bed with his mind in a decidedly horsy condition, and it is therefore not singular that his slumbers should have been disturbed with the nightmare. In the mid dle of the night he got up in his sleep, wont to the stable and took cut his new horse, mounted him and started on a good round pace to the city. He continued his nocturn al equestrianism through the streets for acon siderable time. His singular appearance and actions attracted the attention of a pol iceman, who, thinking some insane circus rider has broken loose, or that John Gilpin's spirit had returned to earth, took him into custody, and with great fear and trembling conducted him to one of the station houses. Shortly afterwards the gentleman was thor oughly aroused, and great was his astonish ment at finding himself in such a singular predicament. During all his riding he had been in a somnambulist state, required a great deal of argument on the part of the policeman to convince him that he had been engaged in such unseasonable and pecular ex ercise. Of course he was liberated at once. This wo conceive to be one of the most re markable cases of somnambulism on record, and but that it is substantiated by the most reliable authority, it might be doubted. PAY YOCB SMALL DEBTS.— Pay your small debts. You do not know bow much good is frequently accomplished by adopt ing this principle. It was honest old Ben. Franklin, we believe, how, as a matter of experiment, followed up a small amount which he paid to a tradesman. In a very little while he ascertained that the money paid the trades-man had passed from hand to hand until the number of bills ot nearly similar amount settled with it reached some fifteen or twenty. It may not be possible to do as Franklin did, and trace up the his tory of a small amount of money in tho way of debt paying; but it may be set down as a fixed fact that the prompt payment of small debts is the initiative step towards paying cash for everything. Generally speaking these small debts are due to persons who need all the little capital they can command. To such, they are of immense importance; and it may be said of the person who allows these trifling obligations to remain unpaid while having the means to discharge them, that he is not, in the true sense of the word, an honest man, unless, by express contract, a time for payment has been fined, and that time not arrived. Pay your small debts, and your big ones too. If you would be happy and comfortable, sleep soundly, eat heartily, and enjoy the peace of mind which only men with good consciences are supposed to enjoy, pay your small debts. TTABT> ON NASBY.— I The Rolla (Missouri) Express reports that the Democrats of Phelps county, Missouri, have had a meet ing pursuant to "orders from the State Central Committee," and passed thrilling resolutions, among which was the follow ing:— ' Resolved, That while we recognise in the Hon. Petroleum V. Nasby the true Democrat and fearless patriot, and while we acknowledge his good intentions, we would respectfully request him to discon tinue writing letters in defense of the Dem ocratic party, as we suspect some of his ef forts are calculated to do more harm than j good in some localities," RATES OF ADVERTISING. AH advertisement* for lew than 3 months 10 cent* per line for each in-ertion. Special notices one-half additional. All reawilations of Auooia (ion, communications of a limited or indiridal interest and notices of marriages and deaths, ex ceeding five lines, It! ets. per line. All legal noti ces of every kind, and all Orphans' Court end other Judicial sales, are required by law to be pub lished in both papers. Editorial Notices 15 cen.s per line. All Advertising due afterflrst insertion. A liberal discount made to yearly advertisers. 3 moots. 8 months. 1 year One square 9 4-50 $ 8.00 SIO.OB Tire squares - 800 8-00 18.00 Three squares 8-00 12.00 30.08 One-fourth c01umn....... 14.00 20.00 35.00 Half column.lß.oo 25.00 45.00 One column 30.00 45.00 80.00 THE TWO MERCHANTS. We clip the following which daily finds an illustration in every city, from an ex change, and commend the lesson it teaches, to the consideration of merchants located in this vicinity. When trade grew slack, and notes fell due, the merchant's face grew long and blue; his dreams were troubled through the night with sheriff's bailifFs all in light. At last his wife unto him said, "Riseup at once, get out of bed, and get yonr paper, ink and pen and say these words unto all men: My goods I wish to sell to you, and to your wives and daughters too; my prices tbey shall be so low, that each will buy before they go."' , He did as his good wife advised, and in the paper advertised. Crowds came and bought of all he had; bis notes were paid, his dreams made glad, and he will tell you to this day, how well did printer's ink repay. He told us this, with knowing wink, how he was saved bv printer's ink. The other in a place as tight, contented was the press to slight, and did not let the people know of what he had, or where to go. His drafts fell due, and were not paid, a levy on his goods was made: the store was closed until the sale, and for some time he was in jail. A bankrupt now without a cent, at leisure, he deeply repents that foolish and unwise, he did not freely adver tise. ADVANTAGES OF CRYING. —A French physician is out in a long dissertation on the advantages of groaning and cryiDg in general, and especially during surgical operations. He contends that gioaning and crying are two grand operations by which nature allays anguish; that those patients who give way to their natural feelings, more speedily recover from accidents and opera tions than those who suppose it unworthy a man to betray such symptoms of cowardice as either to groan or to cry. He tells of a man who reduced his pulse from one hundred and twenty-six to sixty, in the course of a few hours, by giving full vent to his emotions. If people are at all unhappy about anything, let them go into their rooms and comfort themselves with aloud boo-hoo, and they will feel a hundred per cent better afterward. In accordance with the above, the crying of children should not be too greatly discour aged. If it is systematically repressed, the result may be St. Yitus's dance, epileptic fits, or some other disease of the nervous system. What is natural is always useful: and nothiog can be more natural than the crying of children when anything occurs to give them either physical or mental pain. Probably most persons have experienced the effect of tears in relieving great sorrow. It is even carious how the feelings are allayed by their free indulgence in groans and sighs. Then let parents and friends show more indulgence in noisy bursts of grief—on the part of children as well as of older persons—and regard the eyes and the Nature discharges her surplus steam. SUNDAY REST A NECESSITY. Nature reaffirms the Divine law that one day in seven should be set apart for rest and worship. Both the brute and human world need it for their well-being. Dr. Farre, a distinguished physician, says: Although the night equalizes the circula tion well, yet it does not sufficiently restore its balance for the attainment of a long life. Hence one day in seven, by the bounty of Providence, is thrown in asa day ofeompen sation, to perfect by its repose the animal system. You may easily determine this question by trying it on the beasts of bur den. Take that fine animal, the horse, and work him to the full extent of his powers every day but one in seven, and you will soon perceive by the superior vigor with which he performs his functions on the 1 other six days, that this rest is necessary to his well-being. Man, possessing a superior : nature, is borne along by the very vigor of his mind, so that the injury of continued diurnal exertion and excitement in his ani mal system is not so immediately apparent as it is in the brute; but in the long run it breaks down more suddenly; it abridges the length of his life and that vigor of his old age which (as to mere animal power) ought to be the object of his preservation. This | is simply as a physician, and without refer ence at all to the theological question. HLMAN DEPRAVITV. —When a son for sakes his father's house, when he refuses to comply with his entreaties to return, when he chooses to endure all the evils of poverty rather than return, we are ready to suspect that his father must be a very disagreeable, I unlovely, or cruel character, since his own children cannot live with him. At least we shall think this unless we have a very bad opinion of the son. We must condemn one or the other. So when God's own creatures whom he has nourished and brought up as children, forsake him, and refused to return or be reconciled, it gives other beings cause to suspect that lie must be a very cruel, unlovely being: and they must either con clude that He is so, or form a very had opinion of us. Now, sinners will not allow that the fait is theirs; of course they throw all the blame upon their Creator, and repre sent Him as such an unkind, cruel Parent, that his children cannot live with or please him. It is true, God has power to vindicate His own character, and to show the universe that the fault is wholly ours. But this is no thanks to us. The tendency of our con duct is still the same; it still tends to load its character with the blackest infamy and disgrace. This is all the return, we make him for giving us existence. Thus do you . requite the Lord, 0 foolish people and un wise. "HE DIED POOR! " So the world says when some poor mortal dies alone and for gotten, with no kind hand to smooth his pillow or close his eyes when " his work is done." "Hedied j<oor!" the world says, and yet perhajw he was rich; it may not have been in gold, stocks or lands, but what I is far better, rich in having stored his nund 1 with that knowledge "which passeth standing," and fits him to enter a higher and Ixater existence, in the memory ot a thousand acts of kindness, J* I*** 1 *** 1 '"J 110 nity alone shall bring forth. Better. Mr letter. to die alone and unnoticed with these memories, than to bo worth Kv mu>ressiiur the ixK>r and needy ones 01 USE cannot rive vou one hour, when the aa> oi SXws near, wherein to redeem the errors of an ill-spent lilt;. t . .
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers