Bellefonte, Pa., August 27, 1915. EE ———————————— Editorial Pleasantries. Two editors quarreled, and one re- | ferred to the other’s early career in his paper. ol “As for our contemporary,” he wrote, “what can we expect from a man wha was five years ago hawking from door to door with a donkey, and an ill con- ditioned beast at that?" His rival did nct deny it, but in his! next issue appeared the following: “Our contemporary says that five years ago we were ‘hawking from door to door with a donkey, and an ill con- ! ditioned beast at that’ He is quite right. We were so occupied. But we are surprised to find the donkey has such a good memory.” | casy Oysters. During a discussion on finance in the United States senate one of the speak- ers traced the history of the various mediums of exchange. their develop- ment and changes from the days of barter to the days of gold and silver.- “I call to the attention of the sem ate,” he said in the course of the speech, “that at one time the medium of exchange was oyster shells. Oyster shells were used for money.” “Delightful!” broke in the late Sen- ator Hoar of Massachuseiss. “If that system only prevailed now we could order half a dozen oysters on the half shell and pay for them with the shells.” Henty’s Young Critic. G. A. Henty, the writer for youth, frequently got letters from admirers all over the world asking for his auto- graph and offering criticisms of his books. In a story of the peninsular war he made two boys disguise them- selves by staining their faces with fodine. Shortly after the book was published he received a letter from a boy, who said he was a chemist’s as- sistant, stating that while that special incident was represented as taking place in 1808 jodine was not discovered until 1811, three years later. A Story of Browning. Browning himself couldn't always explain his meaning at first reading. Dr. Furnivalli, founder of the English Browning society, frequently consulted the poet as to the meaning of some pas- sage in his works. ‘Bless me,” Brown- ing would say, “I really have forgotten what I did mean, and as I haven't got a copy of my works by me 1 really can’t enlighten you. Just lend me the book, there’s a good fellow. I'll look it over at my leisure and try to fqid out what was in my mind at the time.” —— i The Inquisitive Antelope. An antelope is as curious as a wo- | @an. If the hunter wil lie down in the grass and wave a red handkerchief R band of antelopes will keep circling around until within reasonable distance for a safe shot. After completing a cir- cle the antelopes halt suddenly and bring down one fore foot with a vigor- ous stamp on the ground, and at the same instant they make a sort of snort that sounds like a half whistle. That is the propitious moment for peppering Shem with rifle balls. —Exchange. Folding Linen In Holland. Folding linen is an accomplishment in which each one of the women in Holland is expected to be proficient before she becomes mistress of a home. In Holland especially the folding of linen requires considerable skill and training. Much of their fabric is of the finest texture and quality, and they fashion the various pieces in ironing into birds, animals, flowers and al manner of artistic s.apes. Their liner, closets are often sli wi to visitors with the same pride tl..t china closets are shown elsewhere. Only Once. Two old ladies, both of whom wera ‘well cared for, were once conversing ‘about their affairs. One was a jolly old lady, while the other was of a sour disposition. “Well, well,” said the jolly one, “it’s Pleasant to be old. We get the best of everything—the easiest chairs, the best places, the ternderest morsels” — “Yes, ves." sighed the other, forced to admit (hat her life was an easy one, “that’s all very true, but what's the use? We can’t be old but once.”— Youth’s Companion. Driving the Fact Home. There are various methods, diplomat ic or brusque, of notifying an unsatis- factory employee of his dismissal. The most picturesque and original of methods was that which Uncle Jimmy Gilbert used to use in his " printing office. When a new man came Uncle Jimmy drove a nail in the wall for him to hang his hat and coat on. Some morning the man would come to work and find the nail driven in up to the head. He knew that he was through then. A LIFE IN A DAY. Let every dawn of morning be to you as the very beginning of life; let every setting sun be to you as the close of that life; then let every one of these short lives leave some sure record of some kindly thing done for others or some goodly strength or knowledge that you have gained for yourselves.—John Ruskin. eww wine fy Laying a Ghost. In an English country home there was an ordinary cupboard door that always mysteriously creaked open at five minutes before midnight unless it was kept locked, and when it was kept locked it groaned and rattled in- stead precisely at the same hour. Then came along a spook expert, who dis- covered that at five minutes before | midnight the fast express train pass- ed along the highroad a mile away from the house and set in motion some vibratory wave that acted upon the cupboard and scared a household. The Great Circus. The famous Coliseum in old Rome, massive as it was. was a mere toy in comparison with the great circus, which filled the valley between the Palatine and the Aventine hills. The Coliseum is said to have been able to seat 80,000 people, while the seating , capacity of the great circus was, at dif- ferent periods, 150,000, 250,000 and last- ly 880,000 spectators. The great circus was probably the most stupendous building ever erected for public specta- cles. A Poor Specimen. “My husband hasn’t any spunk at all,” said the complaining woman. “Maybe he’s trying for the peace prize,” replied the comforting neigh- bor. “Well, supposing he won it. some- body would give him a whipping and’ take it away from him.”—Washington Star. Narrow Escape. As he was about to sink for the third time he, of course, recalled ev- erything in his past life. Suddenly his countenance radiated joy. “Ab,” he exclaimed. ‘now I remem- ber what it was my wife told me to get downtown today! I needn’t drown. after all.” ; Accordingly he swam ashore.—New York Post. Not Sure. A young society woman was having ‘a chat one evening with a young man whom she had just met. They were in the conservatory. “Which do you admire the more,” in- quired the young belle, “black eyes or blue?” “Well, really,” replied the young fel- low slowly, *‘the light is so dim here I can’t say now.”—National Monthly. Climax of a Giddy Whirl. “Well,” mused six-year-old Harry as he was buttoned into a clean white suit, “this has been an exciting week, hasn’t it, mother? Monday we went to the zoo, Wednesday 1 lost a tooth. Thursday was Lily's birthday party, Friday I was sick, yesterday I had my hair cut, and now here I am rushing off to Sunday school!”"—Lippincott's. None For Her. “Pop!” ! “Yes, my son.” “When a person saws wood it means they say nothing. don’t it?” “Yes, my boy.” “And do women ever saw wood?" “No. Women believe that sawing wood is a man's work.”—Yonkers Statesman. Setting It Right. “In your paper this morning. sir. you called me a ‘bum actor.’ | want an explanation.” “1 shall be happy to explain, young man. That word ‘actor’ was inserted by the proofreader, who thought I had omitted it accidentally. [I shall take care that it doesn’t happen again.”— Chicago Tribune. Her Mouth Was Closed. Jack — Miss Peachy started to say something about the impropriety of kissing the other evening, but she didn’t finish. Tom—Why not? Jack— Because I took the words right out of her mouth.—Chicago News. Entirely Too Cool. “Was your husband cool when you told him there was a burglar in the house?" asked Mrs. Hammer. “Cool.” replied Mrs. Gabb, *'1 should - say he was cool. Why, his teeth chat- tered." —Cincinnati Enquirer. The Other Half. Royal Marine (engaged in coaling ship)— When I joined the corps the sergeant ’e ses to me, “It's ’arf sol- dier'n an’ ’arf yachtin’,” ’e says. I sup pose this is the bloomin' yachtin'!— London Punch. When He Missed It. The baldheaded man was asked if he missed his hair much. “Only when some fool question makes me so mad I want to pull it,” he replied pleasantly. — Philadelphia Ledger. The Declaration. The original title of the Declaration of Independence was as follows: A declaration by the representatives of the United States of America in gen- eral congress assembled.—Magazine of American History. AS YOU MAKE YOUR LIFE Just as you look on the things that are seem or unseen your life will be y Somaenglsse or heroic, your la gery or service, your mind a fountain of bitterness or sweetness, your outlook a dead wall or the eternal horizon.—Ian Maclaren. Almost Got It. “Is there any difference in the mean- Ing of the words ‘nautical’ and ‘ma. rine? * asked Mr. Malaprop. “Not much,” replied Mrs, Malaprop. “One is a cinnamon of the other.”— Chicago Record-Herald. Happy Hunting Ground. ‘When a woman wants a hus- band, you don’t suppose she goes and looks in a club for one, do you? He— Well, if she’s a married woman the chances are that she does.—Yonkers Statesman. A Shameful Omission. Amid all the humane enterprises of this wonderful century there has been no society yet formed for the protec- tion of young men from young women. —From “One Man Returns.” by Harold Spender. “Seeing” Plants. Professor Darwin is right. Plants can see—some plants. Take corn and rye, for instance. With proper treat- ment these plants sometimes see dou- ble, and frequently they see things that aren't there.—New York Telegraph. Gets on Her Nerves. . Surveyor—This town is only ‘two years old; that’s why my wife hates to Iive here. City Friend—How's that? Surveyor—She’s already pointed out as one of the older residents.—Chicago ' News. Doing Better. “When you get out of here,” said the sympathetic visitor. “I presume you will try to do better.” “Oh, yes,” answered the bigamist. : “None of the women I married before : had much money." Baltimore Sun. DUTIES. Do the duty that lies nearest to you. Every duty that is bidden to wait returns with seven fresh duties Limited Love. “When your parents first refused me your hand I was so wretched that I wanted to throw myself out of the window.” “And why didn't you?” “It was so high.”—Lustige Blatter. An Eye Closer. Griggs—I say, old man, what's good for insomnia? I haven't closed my eyes for five nights. Colonel — You want to have a boxing match. The first time I tried it I remember my eyes were closed for a fortnight. They Were Not Encouraged. “I don’t see why that young man doesn’t propose.” “I think, pa, that the chances of his doing it would be fully as good if you wouldn’t leave your boxing gloves around where he can see them.” Power of Wealth. “Wombat’s wife wants to go on thc the stage.” “Well, he’s rich enough to build a theater for her.” “Yes, and to hire an audience.”—Lou- isville Courier Journal. He Dodged. Mr. Meek—Did you trump my ace? Mrs. M.—Yes. What of it? Mr. M.—N-nothing, my dear. I'm : glad it was you. If one of our oppo- nents had done it we'd have lost the trick.—Cleveland Leader. The Waiting Game. “Pop.” “Yes, my son.” “Do you believe everything comes to him who waits?" ! “No; sometimes you must ‘go to it,’ my boy.”"—Yonkers Statesman. SMILE THEM AWAY. He who smiies and laughs away i The little trials of life today f | | aE ! : i i Shall live to smile and laugh away harles Kingsley | A greater trial another day. CASTORIA. CASTORIA. Children C MANRANANANNRNN % / 2 £8 7 ints The Kind You Have Always Bought, and which nas been over 30 years, has and has been made under sonal supervision since its % %, Allow no one All Counterfeits, Imitations and ¢ J ust-as-good ’? are but Experiments that trifle with and endanger the health of Infants and Children—Experience against Experiment. in use for What is CASTORIA Castoria is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Pare goric, Drops and Soothing Syrups. contains neither Opium, substance. Its age is its and allays Feverishness. has been in constant use Flatulency, Diarrhoea. assimilates the Food, o In Use For Over 30 Years The Kind You Have Always Bought THE CENTAUR COMPANY, NEW YORK CITY, Morphine nor other Narcotic guarantee. It destroys Worms For more for the relief of Constipation, Wind Colic, all Teething Troubles and It regulates the Stomach and Bowels, giving healthy and natural The Children’s Panacea—The Mother’s Friend. GENUINE CASTORIA ALWAYS Bears the Signature of borne the signature of his pere infancy . to deceive you in this, It is pleasant, I than thirty years it sleep. Announcement. The Farmers’ _ Supply Store We are Headquarters for the Dollyless Electric Washing Machines Weard Reversible Sulky Ridin Harrows, g Hog and Poultry Troughs. Force and Lift Pumps for any Step Ladders, Poultry Supplies and All Kinds of Nitrate of Soda and Fertilizer for all crops, house where vou can get it when you are ready to use it. Soliciting a share of your wants, I am respectfully yours, JOHN G. Both Phones 60-14-tf. ; Spring-tooth Harrows, Spike-tooth Iever Harrows, Land Rollers; g-Hole Spring Brake Fertilizer Grain Drill—and the price is $70. POTATO DIGGERS, Brookville Wagons—all sizes in stock. Poles, Manure Spreaders, Galvanized Wate Galvanized Stock Chain Pumps, Plows and Walking Plows, Disc Buggies and Buggy r Troughs, Cast Iron depth of wells, Extension and Field Seeds. carried at my ware- DUBBS, Bellefonte, Pa. Dry Goods, Etc. LYON & COMPANY. Clearance Sale of All Summer Stuffs Will be Continued. All Summer Goods must go now to make room for early Fall Goods. We are showing advanced Fall Styles of Dress Goods, Clothes, Silks, Corduroy, in all the new street and evening shades ; trimmings to match. Shoes. Shoes. Shoes. All Men’s, Ladies and Children’s Sum- mer Shoes at greatly Reduced Prices. COATS and SUITS We are showing advanced styles in early Fall and Winter Garments. La Vogue Coats and Suits are always in the lead. We Extend an Invitation to all to visit this department and be convinced that we are leaders and al- ways have the first showing of the new up-to-date models. Lyon & Co. ... Bellefonte _— The Centre: County Banking Company. “STOP, LOOK, LISTEN!” A Lawyer received $10,000 for suggesting these words to a railroad. The sign, “Stop, Look, Lis- ten!” saved the road many thousands of dollars in damages. It’s a good sign. It’s worth $10,000. Wise people are often warned by a similar sign on the road of extravagance. They stop in time. How about yourself? Think this over seriously. A bank account is the Best Kind of Security at any time. If you haven’t a bank account now, start one at once. Any account, however small you are able to begin with, will be welcomed and carefully conserved at THE CENTRE COUNTY BANK, 56-6 BELLEFONTE PA. ————— = coms ——— Groceries. Groceries. FOOD SUPPLIES We have just received a shipment of new caught Blue Back Mackerel, messed and boneless ; Canned Salmon and Tuna Fish are both very satisfactory hot weather goods. Our brands will fully satisfy your desire. Our fancy new American Cheese are now at their very finest. If you want the highest quality, give us your order. Asparagus tips, new pack, Nabob brand, just received at 1oc per can. Elite brands, large can, fancy, at 25c. We have a blend of TEA that has proved very satisfactory for making iced tea and for regular use at 60c¢ per pound. The new crop of California Summer Valen just at their best. We have fancy stock at 2 5¢, 30c, 4o0c, 50c and 6oc a dozen. Also fancy California Lemons. Our Sliced Dried Beef is all full slices, cut only from the tender part of the meat. Comes in clean wax paper envelopes. Some- thing new and desirable. We take special care in the selection of Bananas and can give you fancy fruit. MEADOW GOLD BRAND CREAMERY BUTTER Is a Strictly Fancy Grade. We get it in frequent orders so that you can de- pend on it having that New Sweet Flavor. Try it and be convinced. SECHLER & COMPANY, Bush House Block, fT 57-1 - Bellefonte, Pa. ica Oranges are now
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers