Bemorraiic atc, Bellefonte, Pa., December 4, 1914. Peru’s Sugar Cane. ‘Heavy production of sugar cane to the acre is one of the surprises of Peru. Where it is grown the land is level, and planting is an easy matter. When the cane reaches the height of two feet further attention in regard to cultivation is said to be unnecessary, and in from eighteen to twenty-four months maturity is reached. That the growth is luxurious may be known from the fact that an average crop of forty tons an acre is obtained, while sixty and even seventy tons is not un- common. In other sugar growing coun- tries, including Cuba, twenty-five tons per acre are considered a good aver- age, according to sugar experts. Old Joke Books. Jest books long antedate the comic paper. The imprint of one volume, dated 1687. runs: “England’s Jests Re- fin'd and Improv’d. Being a Choice Collection of the Merriest Jests, Smart- est Repartees. Wittiest Sayings and Most Notable Bulls yet Extant. * * * Calculated for the Innocent Spending of the Winter Evenings.” Another seventeenth century joke book shows the antiquity of the Irish bull. This is entitled “Teagueland Jests, or Bogg- Wiiticisms. Being a Compleat Col- lection of the Most Learned Bulls, Elaborate Quibbles, and Wise Sayings of some of the Natives of Teagueland, till the year 1688.” A Pot of Peas. Pert Penelope Perkins, patiently plucking pretty primroses, perceiving Percival Patmore, pretended preoccu- pation. Percy perspired profusely, penning pensive poetry. Presently, properly primed. Percival promptly proposed. Penelope, prudently pes- simistic, playrully procrastinated. Per- cival, passionately protesting, produced precious presents, promising pathetic- ally perpetual protection. Purse proud, | pompous papa, proving pliant, Penel- | ope placidly paired.—Philadelphia Tel- | egraph. The Interpreter. It is to be expected perhaps that: babies will become brighter and bright- | er as the human race progresses in in- tellectual development. “He is such a clever little dear,” the fond mother explained. *“He had never: been told what flowers were, but the | moment he saw them he said, ‘Bwobs." ” “Really! And what does ‘bwobs’ mean?” inquired the caller. “Why, flowers, of course.”—Lippin- | cott’s. Would Keep Things Moving. “Miss Sumpkins is a very sharp spoken girl,” said Blifkins to one of his friends. “Yes, it has struck me so.” “Do you think she is a woman who would make home happy?” “lI couldn't say as to that, but 1 think you could count on her to make it lively and interesting.” Deceived Him. The customer in the grocery store. having ruined his clothes, was hopping mad. “Didn't you see that sign. ‘Fresh Paint? * asked the grocer. "Of course 1 did.” snapped the customer, “but Y've seen so many signs hung up | here announcing something fresh that | wasn’t that 1 didn't believe it.”—Bos- | ton Transcript. Easily Answered. “Why is it that my silk socks are sc much cheaper than your silk stock: Ings?" asked Mr. Spender. “They come lower because they do not come =o high,” explained Mrs Bpender.—Cincinnati Enguirer. Tt Optimistic. “hat man is always optimistic.” “What does he do?" “He doesn’t do anything, and he ‘seems to think he is going to be able ‘to live doing nothing always.”—Chi- ‘cago Herald. : : . "Economy. “Are you economizing ?” "“1 should say so,” said the ‘man: ‘who is always cheerful. “My wife ! bought enough marked down articles | to save $50 on the original price.”— Washington Star. Just Like Her. Hewitt—I didn’t know that you lived on the first floor. I understood your wife to say that you lived on the sec- ond floor. Jewett—If you knew my wife you would know that she always stretches a story.—Exchange. Run Down. Tom- -Of course the bride looks love- ly, as brides always do. Nell—Yes, but the bridegroom doesn't look altogeth- er fit; seems rather run down. Tom— Run down? Oh, yes, caught after a long chase. DISPEL THE GLOOM. Surely happiness is reflective, like the brilliant light of heaven, and every countenance bright with smiles and glowing with innocent enjoyment is a mirror, transmitting to others the warning rays of a su- preme and ever shining benevo- lence.—Washington Irving. GREETING THE WRONG MAN Cases of Mistaken identity That Have Been Chronicied by a Collector. Scrapbook keepers and chroniclers of odd things who are-on the alert to increase the store of interest grip- pers are able to list no end of mis- takes made by prominent men at vari- ous times and places. One of these collectors has gathered incidents that might easily make 200 pages of an ordinary book. He insists that all are as true as—well, as true as anything can be that you hear about. According to this collector, says the New York Sun, there's a Brooklyn clergyman who went over to Newark to fill a pulpit one Sunday and greeted three men as the pastor of the church he was to preach in before he shook hands with the right man. One or two deacons and other members were wait- ing for him in the vestibule when he arrived. He thought he knew a minister when he saw one, so he put out his hand with a “Glad to meet you, doc- tor,” only to find it wasn’t the pastor. Then he looked from one to the other and stretched out a hand to the sec- ond man, scoring another mistake. Finally, inside the church on the way to the pulpit, he was sure the minis- terial-looking man who advanced toward him was the pastor, and so he greeted him that way. But it was a trustee. An insurance solicitor, top notcher, of one of the big companies, called on 3 prospective risk at his Riverside drive residence one evening to nail him for a policy. He talked eloquently and at length. When it came to sign- ing his man he found he had been talking to a nephew of the same man. The nephew was already insured, but had listened because he was interest- ed in insurance. The scrapbook man has a great number of clips to prove that slouch- ily dressed Gen. U. S. Grant was re- peatedly mistaken for some third- ~lass subaltern. Dispatch bearers who had never met the general often galloped up to headquarters and were directed to a group of officers of which Grant was one. Often the papers were handed the most nattily dressed or the most pompous appearing officer in preference to Grant. A droll-minded, little, inconsequen- tial-locking man of London used to take great delight in inviting promi- vent men to visit him and see the mistakes they made in supposing som~dody else was he. Hearty greet- ing would be half finished before they would discover the mistake. The little man was a famous Egyptologist and used to send out his invitations in an- cient hieroglyphics, which may ae- count for the upsetness of the visitors. The cases are numerous in which in visits of ceremony at courts and among naval commanders of warships of different nations in harbor ridicu- lous mistakes in identity have been made. A French admiral is reported to have put forth his most formal greeting to a marine officer on board the ship he was visiting, supposing he was the com mandsr in a newly de- signed uniform. At a detached sur- render of troops in the Russian-Japan- ase war a Russian commander very formally offered his sword to a war- correspondent. Cold-Plated Door Knobs! In some of the $25,000 a year flats on Fifth avenue, New York, the hard- ware is gold plated. Hinges, window brackets, fixtures, door handles, key plates, hinges are all treated with gold before being placed in position. All that is required to keep gold in fine condition is ea slight rubbing’ with a piece of dry leather. No polish is necessary and the woodwork near this yellow hardware is never tarnished. Silver plating on white metal is used on the trim in the dining room. Nine coats of paint are spread on the walls of the dining rooms in these magnificent flats, the same care being used as with the paneling of a motor car. The walls, instead of being highly glazed, have a soft, silky finish. Hen in Ostrich Class. Even the hens of Winsted like to do unusual things. Rolland Wilson has a Rhode Island red with an es- pecial dislike for the old-fashioned life. The other day this hen, which is a year old, made up her mind not only to win fame for herself, but to add new fame to the village of her birth. She achieved her purpose by laying an egg the like of which never hag been seen here. As a matter of actual measurement the eggs two circumferences are eight and one-fourth and seven and one-fourth inches. It weighs five ounces. Poultry authorities will move to Missouri before they pass on any contentions for this record as the mark for the year. —-Winsted (Conn.) Dispatch to New. fork World. Meeting the Emergency. One day Jones lost a button from ais serge coat, and on leaving for the office on the following morning he asked little bridie if she wouldn’t re- pair the damage during the day. Lit- tle bridie, of course, sweetly prom- Ised. “Where are you, Harry?” called the young wife on hearing hubby rambling around the house that evening. “What ire you looking for?” “I am looking for my blue serge :0at,” answered Harry. “Did you sew on that button?” “No, dear,” came the startling re- loinder of wifey. ‘I couldn’t find the button so I sewed up the buttonhole.” | The Deadiiest Diseases. Tuberculosis of the lungs, common- ly called consumption, still bears the unenviable palm as a destroyer of the | human race or of that portion of it that is found in the United States. A | close second to tuberculosis comes | pneumonia, then the various forms of stomach troubles, with cancer follow- | ing hard after them all. Heart disease | ranks well up with the above men- | tioned maladies, while Bright's disease { and diabetes are responsible for the deaths of thousands.—New York Amer- ican. A Kindly Inquiry. Fairlie—Jack, have you that £10 now I lent you the other day? Flyntie —Not all of it. old chap, but what I have will do me a day or two longer. Jolly kind and thoughtful of you to in- quire, though.”—London Mail. The Retort Sympathetic. Amelia (with a simper)—I have such bard work to keep George irom being silly when he is with me. Priscilla (tartly)—You don’t expect impossibili- ties of the poor fellow. do you?—Balti- more American, They Married. Trotter (who has been abroad)—So Maud and Charlie finally married? Miss Homer—Yes. Trotter—I suppose they are happy. Miss Homer—Un- doubtedly; they each married some one else. A Mild Accusation. Uncle Henry Barnes was one of the mi.dest of men. No one had ever seen ' him angry or impatient, but when his old time neighbor and supposed friend. John Ragland. deliberately cheated him out of $900 even his kindly, pa- tient spirit was ruffled. ; “Some time.” he remarked to his wife, “I'm going to tell that man what I think of him.” | One day he came home highly dissat- isfied with himself. “I saw John Rag- land today, and I told him straight out what I thought of him,” he said. i “What did you say?’ asked his wife. “I told him I thought he was a very unreasonable man.”—Youth’s Compan- ion. . ! TODAY'S DUTY. Be not anxious about tomorrow. Do today’s duty, fight today’s temptation and do not weaken and distract yourself by looking forward to things which you cannot see and cou'd not understand if you saw God for whom you fight is just and merciful, for he rewardeth every man according to his work. —Charles Kingsley. A Suggestion. ! “Waiter. this knife is blunt and ths steak is like leather | “Ow'd it do to strop the knife on the | steak. sir?” Boston ‘T'rapseript. ur pe CASTORIA. ASTORIA. TN ; A The Kind You Have Always Bought, and which has been NAN NA \ NN in use for over 30 goric, Drops and Soothing substance. and allays Feverishness. Children Cry for Fletche AN r’s \\\\\\ NNN NTN years, has borne the signature of and has been made under his per= sonal supervision since its infancy. Allow no one to deceive you in this. All Counterfeits, Imitations and ¢¢ Just-as-good °’ are but Experiments that trifle with and endanger the health of Infants and Children—Experience against Experiment. What is CASTORIA * Castoria is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Pare= Syrups. It is pleasant. It contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic Its age is its guarantee. It destroys Worms For more than thirty years it has been in constant use for the relief of Constipation, Tlatulency, Wind Colic, all Teething Troubles and Diarrhoea. It regulates the Stomach and Bowels, assimilates the Food, giving healthy and natural sleep. The Children’s Panacea—The Mother’s Friend. & CASTORIA ALways Bears the Signature of In Use For Over 30 Years 59-0-e.0.w The Kind You Have Always Bought THE CENTAUR COMPANY, NEW YORK CITY, summa. and changed into dollars. chance. he must build for himself. Does This Cap Fit You By HERBERT KAUFMAN Author of “Do Something! Be Something!’’ DVERTISING isn’t a crucible with which lazy, bigoted and incapable merchants can turn incompetency into success—but one into which brains and tenacity and courage can be poured 1t is onl not a moving platform. You can’t “get there” without “going some.” 1t’s a game in which the worker—not the shirker—gets rich. By its measurement every man stands for what he is and for what he does, not for what he was and what he did. Every day in the advertising world is another day and has to be taken care of with the same energy as its yesterday. The quitter can’t survive where the plugger has the ghost of a a short cut across the fields— Advertising doesn’t take the place of business talent or business management. It simply tells what a business is and how it is man= aged. The snob whose father created and who is content to live on what was handed to him, can’t stand up against the man who knows What makes you think that you are entitled to prosper as well as a competitor who works twice as hard for his prosperity? : Why should as many people deal at your store, as patronize 3 shop that makes an endeavor to get their trade and shows them that it is worth while to come to its doors? . Why should a newspaper send as many customers to you, in half ithe time it took to fill an establishment which advertised twice as long and paid twice as much for its publicity? This is the day when the best man wins—after he proves that he is the best man—when the best store wins, when it has shown that it is the best store—when the best gocds win, after they've been demonstrated to be the best goods. If you want the plum you can’t get it by lying under the tree with your mouth open waiting for it to drop—too many other men are willing to climb out on the limb and risk their necks in their eagerness to get it away from you. It is a man’s game—this advertising—just hanging on and tugging and straining all the time to get and keep ahead. It is the finite expression of the law of Competition, which sits in blind-folded justice over the markets of the world. Shoes. them. Enough for you that the |; : Yeager’s Shoe Store “FITZEZY” : The Ladies’ Shoe that Cures Corns Sold only at Yeager’s Shoe Store, Bush Arcade Building, BELLEFONTE, PA 58-27 Dry Goods, Etc. | are also sole agents for Rivoli (Copyright.) LYON & COMPANY. We are now ready to supply your winter needs at greatest economy. Underwear for men, women, children and infants. Wool, fleeced and cot- ton, in white and grey. Blankets. Blankets in wool and cot- ton. In wool we have the red, white and gray; also the fac- tory blankets in white and checks. Cotton blankets from soc. up. Comfortables from $1.00 to the finest satteen covered. Hosiery. Our stock of winter Hosiery is now at the best. In cotton we can give you the Blue Ribbon and Bursons from 12% to 50 cents a pair. The Blue Ribbon Silk Hosi- ery for men, women and chil- dren have been tested and are the best wearing stockings at prices that will mean a big saving. We buy these direct from the factory. Rivoli Silk Hosiery—We Furs. . A visit to our Fur depart- ‘ment will convince you that we have the largest and best assortment in Fur Sets and single Muffs; just the thing for these cold snappy days. Prices the lowest. Specials for Little Tots. We have this season added everything necessary to make the little tots warm and com- fortable. In this department you will find all wool crib blankets, wool hand knit af- ghans, drawer leggins, sacks, caps, . mittens ‘and - boo- tees. The little Eskimo Suits in red, tan and grey, Teddy Bear Blankets and Eiderdown Caps. Silk Hose for ladies. Assort- ment of all the new colors; also in black and white, from 50c. to $1.75 per pair. These values can not be matched at these prices. La Vogue Coats & Suits. This department is always alive with the newest and lat- est models. We have again this week replenished our stock of Coats and Suits with the newest up-to-date models. We have also added a great many new models in Misses’ and Children’s Coats. See our Holiday Line of Leather Goods, Party Boxes, Neckwear, Ribbons, Gloves, Veil ings and Jewelry. Our remodeled store front has been greatly admired. We can now show merchandise with the very best light. We invite all patrons to the new store. Lyon & Co. .... Bellefonte.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers