Deora ian. TAKING THE CURE. Bellefonte, Pa., November 3, 1911. COMFORT IN CONGRESS. Free Baths and Shaves and Massage anz Qther Things as Weil. Everr member of congress has the fre: the congressional baths and the hmrber shops under the capi- tol. Ile can take a nifty Turkish bath. 8 Russian bath, 2 Roman bath, » necd:» shower or (he plain, od fah foned Pik county style of bath, Iring down in nu tub with both faucets going, and it doesa't cost hit a cent. AS ofien 2s be plouses he may have a shave, a hair cul. a facial wassace and i wmunicured all around, as (he: say iu parts of ova when shooing a horse, other day he can have the bak of his neck shaved. jnst as if he were (ing to some large soul function baci home. Uncle Sam pars for the attendants and provides the whole outfit Wo musin't overiook the notion coun- ter ut the capitel either. The mem- bers doa’t, so why should we. espe: cially as the said notion counter is a gracious and enduring boon to states. men, their wives, families, heirs and assigns, It contains everything vou can think of that would properly come under the head of notions and a great deal besides--all kinds of stationery, all kinds of typewriter and desk supplies, pocket knives, scissors, fountain pens, card cases, purses, wrist bags, visiting cards, business cards and-—sh-h-h! even the kind of cards which run fifty- two to a set and may be used for play- ing old maid and other harmless games. —Munsey's Magazine. use of Liver) FAKED PAINTINGS. An American Who Was Fooled and an Artist Who Was Insuited. M. Heuri Rochefort was being lnter- viewed one day on bogus picture col- lections, says the Paris correspondent of the Kansas City Journal. He is as good an expert as any on the question. The subject always interests him. “Sit down. my friend,” he said to the jour- nalist. “1 will tell you a good story. It happened not long ago either. An American one day rushed in and beg- ged me to say what [ thought of the pictures he had just bought. “They are here at your door,’ he said. ‘T brought them along in a cab.’ “They were carried into the room. There were Rembrandts. Corots and Harpignies. * “The Rerabrandts are false,’ 1 said, ‘the Corots ditto, the Harpignies ditto.’ The American was horror struck. He sald they had cost him $160,000. “ “Then. 1 said, ‘let us leave the Rem- brandts aud Corots agide. These mas ters are dead, but Harpigoies is not, Here is a note for him from me. Ask him yourseif if he signed these pie- tures." My American disappeared. | never heard from him again, but 1 got a letter from Harpignies some days later. [le said: ‘My dear friend—If 1 were not ninety-two years of age | would have sent yon my seconds for sending that American to me to ask if those worthless daubs were mine. Yours, Henri Harpignies.' ” Kept His Head. An ambassador of the great Charle- magae while visiting a court in the east. ignorant of a law of the king that condemned to death any one who moved a dish at table before the ty rant was served, committed this of- fense. “Great king." said the ambas- sador, “1 die without a murmur; but, in the name of the great emperor whose servant I am, | beg of your majesty one favor before | die” The request was granted. “Give me the eyes of every man who saw me com- mit the crime.” “It is well.” said the king. “Their eyes shal! be plucked out for thee.” But no one admitred had seen the ambassador move the dish, not even the king. “Then why should 1 die, great king? asked the ambassador. “The deed ecanuot le proved against me.” The king was pleased and forthwith pardoned the ambassador, ~ . 44 Might Is Right. “Effie.” said the timid highland lov- er, “I wad Kiss ye, but I'm feart ye waduna let me” She blushed as red as the sunset, bint did not answer, “Effie.” he repeated timidiy, a little later, “I said | wad kiss ye, but I'm feart ye wadaa let me.” At the third repetition she asked: “Dae ye min’, David, yesteidar | couldna lift a bag of potatoes inte the cairt an’ ye lifted them for me?” “Oh. aye! he replied. “Weel. that shows, David,” she mui- | exuberance of health you return to mured, “that ye're far stronger than | me!"--London Answers. On the Right Road. “Our daughter puts on too many airs,” observed Mr. Spillikins. “She does, does she?’ sneerad Mr< 8. “What's the trouble?” “She seems to be too aristocratic a: haughty.” “What do yon want her to be?" “I'd rather have her to be a mo! cook.” _ you, and by the time it bas finished | | you were not n “cureguest” for noth “And did you ever know anybody i: - | haughty as a cook? —Cleveland Plaly Dealer : His Usual Preference. “What kind of meat have you this : g. Larry?" asked the board «tf ' “Well, sir,” said the butcher, “I've ' some fine bear steak and soi . that's just bully.” “H'mph! Cive me some lamb!” - Chicago Tribune. t Graphic Pen Picture of Carisbad and Its Dyspeptics. MUD BATHS AND VILE WATER The Victims Drink Often and Drink Decp and Absorb With the Evil Brew Large Doses of Misery—An Un- picasant and Costly Road to Health. A city shaped like a cup. a cup con- taininz hoi water, The sides of the city are clothed with pines, and in the hollow lie the waters where the dys- peptics of the world foregather fo driuk and to be healed. They desire to be freed from excess of fat, from yei- low skins, from pains that catch one in the small of the baek and from the sii joints that follow hard upon the pleasures of the too abundant board in Carlsbad youn drink often aud drink deep. Drinking is your mam occupation. Your drinking glass is strapped over your shonlders as yon wander, sipping from spring to spring as assiduously as any one hee, but Fou do not get Poaey. Your misery begins at 6. At G o'clock they call you, and you are expected io be shaved and decent before you face the world of waters and of miserable sinners at 7 o'clock. If you had not been a miserable sinner, too, you won'd uot be here, hut yon have done those things you ought not to have done and you have left undone those things vou ought to have done, and your penaliy is Carlsbad. So you take your place at the end of a queue 300 dyspept’es long and wish you were dend. You very nearly are, for no “moraing tea” sustains you; they forbid that; it is strictly against the law. You take your turn ai the “Spru- del” spring uncomforted by the cook. Everything contributes to your misery. A German ciose behind youn is tread ing on your heels and breathing loudly down your neck, and a gentleman in a curious top hat is coducting an or- chestra with intent to make you merry. He fails. You hate him. And every moment you draw nearer to the “Spru- del” spring. It leaps from the bowels of the earth toward the roof of the colonnade shrouded in its own steam. and a girl in waterproof overalls catches you a glassful hy means of a long pole. Then yon retire to a corner with the evil brew and try to drink it. [It tastes of dead rats—hot ones, long dead. Your ‘character may be divined by yonr method of dealing with it. It may be faced as one faces a pet beverage, “with an air,” or it may be dallied with in sips—or thrown away. It may bem you altogether. but this is rare. The hardened dyspeptic who does his year. Iy “cure” has a trick with a little glass pipe. He ix imitated by the wise, Af er the first fell glass you hurry to the little glass pipe stall and buy a litte glass pipe for your very own. and hal: an hour inter you brace yourself to- gether for ihe second dose. If yon have sinned deeply yon may be order. ed even three. but probably you will be let off with two goes of “Spradel” and one of something lighter. An hour afterward you may have an inadequate meal of sour milk, one egg and a browny roll that would baf. fle a dentist. During the morning yon will be required to undergo a bath, possibly of mud, reeking with curative properties and very expensive--as ex peasive as the lunch you wonld (ke RUBBER CANNON BALLS. A World's Fair Exhibit That Puzzled Louis Napoleon. An instance of the obsession of the mind by oue idea is seen in a Indi crous mistake made by Louis Napo- leon in 1850 at a world’s fair held in Paris while he was emperor. He bad been trained to war, and be could not see a strange object without regard ing it in relation to war. The head of the United States commission at the exhibition was Maunsell B. Field. who tells in his “Memoirs of Many Men" bow greatly disturbed the em- peror was by an American invention. : The commissioner was present at a reception held ut the palace. “The emperor approached me und | remarked that he had that afternoon walked throuzh our department of the exposition—-ihis was just before it was open to the public—that he had seen many things there which inter- ested him. but that nothing had so much pleased him as the exhibition of vuleanized india rubber. Among the articles he had poticed something which had puzzled him ever since. He very much regretted that | was not present at the time of his visit. “Here | interrupted him to say that 1 very much regretted it myself and that if he had sent me an intimation of his purpose | should have been certain to attend. “‘Well." he answered, ‘in one corner I saw, stacked as one sees them in an artillery yard, a pile of vuleanized in- dia rubber cannon balls. There was nobody there to answer the inquiries which | desired to make. Perhaps you ean explain the matter to me.’ “1 had not even seen the balls in question and had to say so. **1 eannot imagine.” resumed his majesty. ‘how any preparation of in- dia rubber can be used for projectiles. It has often occurred to me that, in combination with other materials, it might be made useful for defensive purposes.’ : “1 was compelled to admit that it was equally mysterious to me how the inventor conld have thought seriously of making caunon balls of it. After so unsatisfactory an interview the emper- or probably (id not think that it would be civil to leave me immediately, so he asked me if | took much ‘nterest In military matters. [ answered that | did not any more than civilians usual- Iv do. “1 was at that time residing very near the Palace of Industry. The next morning i went over before breakfast for the purpose of getting information upon the subject which had so puzzled the emperor. [ went directly to the india rubber exhibit, and. sure enongh. I found the balls there just as they had been deseribed to me. It was too early for me to expect to see the man in charge. but there was a person in hig place. | asked what in the world he expected 1o do with india rnbher cannon imlis, “They are pot cannon balls, he an- sweored: ‘they are footballs!" a — The Literary Lady. In the course of duty and society obligations a senator one evening was a guest nt the house of an man noted for the number of literary people he gathered about him. The senator had been told that the guests would he either authors or people competent to discuss literature from Confuecins down to the present day. Finding himself beside a middle aged but handsome woman, the sena- tor observed that he supposed she was ALI i the leader of a hand, i they wers ripe. a literary verson, and added: “1 think the world of Iridee, and | like Haythorne's ‘Red Letter. and I'm simply mad about Dickenson's works.” The senator has never been able to fizure out whe Iridee is. but he lieves the literary lady meant Onida. - St. Louis Republic. She pleaded guiliy free One of Nature's Mystaries. The zodiacal light, still one of the unsolved mysteries. has shown very regular pasations In intensity for. In. a communication to French land has pointed out that these varia: tions nuree cinsely with the periods of regnlar magnetic waves of polar re gions, and this would seem to indicate and | the ' Veademy of Seiences M. Birke- | that the zodinenl light is an electrical ! phenomenon A number of experiments suggest that it may be part of n ring | of luminous matter surrounding sun in the plane of its magnetic equa- tor Universal and Eternal “Yes, life is universal! and eternal, for time ix one of its factors yester- day the moon, today the earth. tomor row Jupiter. In space there are era- dles and tombs The red carbon stars will soon be dead: the hydrogen stars, like Vega and Sirius, are the stars of the future: Procyon. Copella and Arc: turus are the stars of the present. Al. debaran xcems to be already an au tumn roi” No said Flammarion. The Place to Paint. A party of gunners were painting the guns amd wagons of a field battery when a sergeant came up to them “There will be an inspection tomor- row.” he said “Be sure you paint all those parts which no one can see. for that's just where the colonel is sure to look!” — London Telegraph The Aesthetic Beard. A man does not properly appreciate the lmitations of headgear until he grows a beard A man with a beard cannot take liberties with his hat Outfitter Who ix abie to help is wot yet poor: who is nhle to love is not yet old Germany's Telephone “Girls.” Telephone “wirls” in Germany can- not werk after the age of seventy, though they can retire on pension prior to that advanced day. Positions are obtained by civil service examination. The average on entering the business must he near thirty, and, as many re- main for life, it would be ungallant to speak intimately of ages. Discharges cannot he effected withont consider- able red tape. When an operator has worked wp to S30 a vear and $150 extra for honse rent, she stays at that pay until retired on pension, On Her Birthday. “Congratulate me.” said ounghus- band. “My daughter is just one year old today.” “This i= her birthday, eh” you give her?” “T don’t kKnove whether wis sonth- ing sirup or paregoric, hut it was one of the two.” What did They Were Picked. “Do you eall this a band of picked musicinns?" said the hotel manager ro “Ach! Dot vos so. 1 hick ‘om mine- sellef.” replied the handmasior, “Well, then, yon pick dd thom Lafore to have afterward if they would jet you. Even as it stands your mockery of un meal. fruit. rice and a bit of a boiled bird climbs up to a total hither te unassociated with such elemenizay insufficiencies. At 4 o'clock you drink more water. At 10 the long day closes with a final gulp, and the dinner nie - vening is beneath the dignity of words —of any words, . Sixty thousand of the sorrowful snh. ject themselves to these penalties yenr- | Iy every summer. i But in spite of the G0,000 you will probably be a lonely soul in Carlsbad, | Its dietetic system does not make for sociability or mirth. But as the days go by the pink hues of health begin to | return to your cheek, your color ceases | to be drab and your temper becomes | less vile. You find youn can tolerate | your fellow man with some degree of : courtesy even when he breathes dow: your neck and clears his throat in the region of your ear. There is less of Hamlet about you and more of Puck, for your days are ordered now more in | conformity with natare's plan and your reward is an equability that is foreign to the life of broken laws in the place from whence you came. For two or three weeks this quickening process | will develop and continue until in the your land. : When you are not here Carlsbad pats ! its shutters up and goes away to cur» | itself of the tedium of having cured | with you its coffers are quite com- fortably stocked against a holiday. for ing. Still you were cured, and a cure Is always cheap. But on ‘the whole perhaps it would have been cheaper if you had kept the law. London Mail. Interesting Spots. “I suppose,” says the lady next door, “that you saw many really wonderful places while you were abroad.” “Yes. indeed.” replies the returned traveler. “1 think the most shivery of them all, however: was the catacorners in Rome. | have the nightmare about iit yet.""— Judge. No whip cuts so deepiy as the lash of conscience. — Proverb. A SAFE refineries. — The “FORD” AUTOMOBILE Needs no boosting. to sell. others. Read the list. Touring Car, fully equi Torpedo | ' Runabout, fully equipped W. W. KEicHLINE & Co., Agent Centre County Branch Waverly [Oils The light that saves your eyes and saves you trouble. Poor oil cannot give this kind of light, but FAMILY FAVORITE OIL the best oil made, the oil that gives the steady light—no flicker, no odor, no soot—costs little more than inferior gra Get it from your dealer. Itis therein barrels shipped direct from WAVERLY OIL WORKS CO., independent Refiners, PITTSBURG, PA. Also makers of Waverly Special Auto Oils and Waverly Gusolines. ILY FAVORITE OIL comm mn Au omobiles. It's smooth-running motor, ample power and durability tells the tale. Every car sold helps It is the one car that and the prices commend it to would-be purchasers: , like above picture $ RIGHT WIGHT . Triple-refined. our FREE fon Sifooon oi. So —————————————————-—— for itself 780.00 725.00 680.00 the “ti§ - nt Bellefonte, Pa. EE —— LYON & CO. Coats, Coat Suits and Fine Furs The Largest and Finest Assortment of Coats for Ladies, Misses, and Children. Our Seal Plush Coats are made of the finest plush, best linings and guaranteed strictly man- tailored, with the large roll collar or with the notched collar, from $18.00 up. A large assortment of the mixed cloths in the new Browns and Gray, with sailor or the shawl collar. Our line of the English Blanket Plaid Back Coats are one of the popular styles. FURS = FURS Our line of fine Furs was never as large as this season. Everything that is new in the large muffs and new shapes in neck-pieces to matct. We have made a special effort this season in Misses’ and Children's Furs. All the new shapes in sirgle Muffs in black and brown. Our prices on Furs and Coats will save you dollars. The qualities are the best at these prices. We invite an early inspection. See our styles, and the prices will be lower than any one else. & COMPANY, 47-12 Bellefonte, Pa. Allegheny >t. Yeagers Shoe Store Fitzezy The Ladies’ Shoe that Cures Corns Sold only at Yeager’s Shoe Store, Bush Arcade Building, BELLEFONTE, PA.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers