A... ———— re ————e A SWIFT STORY. The Way the Dean Rebuked His Pub- lisher, Faulkner. An amusing story of George Faulk- ner, the printer of many of Dean Swift's works, who lived in Parliament street, Dublin, is told by Mr. Wil mot Harrixee in “Memorable Dublin Houses.” Mr. Harrison relates how Faulkner. after a visit to London on business for Swift, called to see the dean, having arrayed himself io a inced « waistcoat, a bagwig and other fopper- jes. KRwift received him ceremoniously as ap entire stranger and asked: “Pray, sir, what are your commands with me?" “1 thought it my duty to wait upon you, sir, on my return from London.” “Pray, sir. who are you?" “George Faulkper. the printer.” “You George Faulkner, the printer: Why. thou art the most impudent. barefaced impostor | ever heard of. George Faulkner is a sober, sedate citi. zen and would never trick himself om in lace and other fopperies. Get you about your business and thank your stars that | do not send yon to the house of correction!” . Poor George returned home and, having changed his dress, returned to the deanery and was received most cordially by Swift. who, having wel- comed him “on his return from Lon- don,” said: “There was an impudent fellow in a laced waistcoat who would fain have passed for you, but | soon sent him packing with a flea in his ear.” THE OLD TIME NAVY. Treatment of British Jack Tars In | Nelson's Day. Jack tars in the British navy in Nelson's day were treated like dous and worse. Imps of midshipmen, twelve or thirteen years old, were per- mitted to enff and kick them with im- punity, and pone dared protest. ‘Tor. ture, under the guise of punishment. was part of the regular routine of the service. From one to tive dozen lashes with the cat-o’-pine-talis could be in flicted at the whim of a commander. but the usual number was three dozen Such sentences were for trifling dere lictions of duty. For really serious of- fenses, such as violence to a superior officer. desertion or mutiny, offenders were strung up at the yardarm o- flogged round the fleet, the Iatter n punishment more dreaded thap death itself. Other savage punishments, such as “starting.” “running the gaut. let" and the hideous one known as “keelhauling” were also frequently re. sorted to, although nominally they were illegal. Nowadays, of course, a bluejacket, although subject to naval discipline, is In no more danger of being subject ed to corporal punishment than is the average civilian. Hix officers ure courteous, kindly and considerate. and if his life is not a happy aud comfortable one he has, in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred. only himself to blame. — Pearson's Weekly. Louis the Magnificent. As soon as he rose he was dressed ; by his valet in a coat of blue cloth Two little epaulets of gold cord were sewed to the cloth. Under the con! was a white waistcoat, which was al- most entirely hidden by the ribbons and wide sashes of his orders. His satin breeches ended in a pair of high boots or gaiters of red velvet, which came above the knees and were mor: supple than leather, for the thickness of leather on legs that were often painful from gout would have created too much friction. He made a gre point of these boots. He thought that they made him look like a general, ready ai auy moment to spring upon a borse, though this was a physicai impossibility to bim since he was much too fat and too intirm. He used powder with a view to hiding the white locks of age, and this gave his complexion an appearance of youth.— From “The Return of Louis XVII," by Gilbert Stenger. ———— Telling the Time. His torse bad lost a shoe, and as it ‘was being replaced by a Somerset blacksmith he asked the time. “I'll ‘tell ‘ee presently, sir.” said the man. ‘Then he lifted a hind foot of the horse aud. looking across it attentive. ly. said, “Half past 11.” “How do you know?’ asked Cole- “Do ‘ee think I have shod horses al! my life and don't know by sign what time it is?” The poet went away puzzled, but re- turned in the evening and offered the blacksmith a shilling to show him how he could tell the time by a borse boof. y “Just you get off your horse, sir Now do ’ee stoop down and look through the hole in yon pollard ash and you'll see the church clock.” Hard to Tell. “If your mother bought four bunches of grapes, the shopkeeper's price being pinepence a bunch, how much money would the purchase cost her?” asked the new teacher. “You refer can tell,” answered Tom- . my, who was at the head of the class. _ “Ma's great at bargaining!"--Loudon Answers. Of Vital Importance. Mrs. Benham—The doctor that ~wam—Does be promise that or merely predict it?-New Yok Press. v » PASSPORTS. Method of Applying For Them to the State Department. Passports are issued to citizens of the United States upon upplication to tae state department in Washington. The application must be accompanied by an affidavit attested by a notary public or other officer empowered to administer oaths stating that the ap plicant is a citizen and giving the pinee of birth and age, and it must be accompanied by the certificate of one other citizen to whom he is personally known that the declaration made by the applicant is true. The application must be accompa- nied hy a description of the person. particularly as to age, height, com- piexion, forehead. eyes, nose, mouth. hin, hair and face. Blank forms are furnished hy the state department ou application. The fee for each passport is $1. Citizens traveling abroad may also obtain passports by applying to United States ambassadors and minis. ters, Where any person has made a dec mration of intention to become a citi zen of the United States and has re sided in the United States for three years a passport valid for six months may be issued to him. This passport is not renewuble and does not entitle the holder to the protection of this government in the country of which he was originally a citizen.—New York American, MOUNT ETNA. 1t 1s Said to Hold All the Climates of the Earth. Mount Eton has furnished more ma- terial for travelers’ tales than any oth er mountain on earth. Astonished Kng- lishwen of a century ago, who fell futo the fashionable habit of climbing to jis highest peak—-and some did so. to the amazement of the Sicilians, even in the dead of winter—have left ou record In the exuberant language of their day the emotions that thrilled their soul. “The man who treads Mount Etna.” wrote one of these, “Is a man above the world. Every river on the island ean be traced from fits mouth to its source, “The characters.” the same writer continues, “of all the climates of the earth can be detected ~the frigid close around one, the temperate with is belt of trees just benenth and the trop ical at the base of the mountain, with its vineyards and luxuriant groves ‘I'ti great ocenn around. with the islands of Lipari, Panari, Alicudi., Stromboli am Voleano, with their smoking snmmits appear under your feet, and you louk down upon the whole of Sicily as upon a map" In addition to all the climates, Etna is reported to have trees that rival the giants of California, lnkes that neve: thaw, bottomless caverns and salable snow. — Chicago News. Why We Laugh. Laughter seems to be a specialized form of either the scream of a star tled or injured animal or the cry of triumph common to many beasts of prey. In children the cry of terror and the shout of laughter often shade into each other, and the young child eschiping from pursuit will scream with langhter or fear, according to his chances of escape. Some unexpected event that causes slight alarm short of actual terror is the commonest cause of children’s laughter, but In aduls some sudden event that gives a sens: tion of triumph over others has much more influence. Really clever jokes seldom cause laughter. and it has been pointed out that a man chasing his hat will produce laughter far more hearty in character than the best ef forts of the cleverest wit. The sight of {ll fortune in another causes by contrast a feeling of triumph in our selves. The ticklish parts of the body are for the most part the sites of in portant blood vessels, and the laughter produced in children by tickling is even more closely allied to the cry of pain. The Cuckoo. Where does the cuckoo lay its eggs: What is its staple diet? What course does it take in Its autumn migration when it returns to its African haunts: These are questions that await satis factory answers. Until it was found that the cuckoo laid its egg on the ground and subsequently carried it in its bill to a neighboring nest it was supposed that the bird fed largeiy on the eggs of smaller birds. This fallney has been disproved. Probably in the whole range of British birds there i= no other that can boast such curious domestic traits as the cuckoo. It makes no nest, does not attend to incubation duties and rears no young and appar- ently never sees the bird that is batch ed from the egg that it surreptitiously places in the nest of some smaller bird. -London Globe, Served Him Right. : “You're looking very gloomy today. Tomkins. What's the matter?" “Matter! Do you know Miss Parno. the old maid that lives over the way” Dawkins told me that she was en gaged to him, so just for the fun of the thing | went and proposed to her. and she accepted me. Now I'm look- ing for Dawkins!"—London Tit-Bits, Light. Father—You seem to look at things in a very different light since your marriage. Newly Married Davghter-- Well, so I ought after receiving four- teen lamps and nine candelabra for wedding presents. . - . It is easier to appear worthy of a position one does not hold than of the office one fills.—La Rochefoucauld. Te We « FILIPINO. WOMEN. Their Cares Begin Early, and Thay Win Husbands by Hard Work. “Fiilpino women know how to win ausbands.” says an Awerican woman who is living at Manila. “It is a com- mon thing in the islands to see a girl. young and brown and strong. crushing rice with a heavy wooden mailet, while around her sit a number of admiring swains, looking on, but never dream- ing of offering to help. And the gir! doesn’t expect it. She pounds cheerful ly away. and by and by her reward somes in a husband to work for. “Life accustoms the Filipino woman to labor at a very early age. As a tiny girl she is rarely seen without an appendage in the shape of a baby brother or sister perched on her little brown hip. When she grows a few inches taller and a few degrees stroug- or she is pressed into service as a wa- ter carrier, bearing heavy jars of wa. ter poised gracefully on her head from the river to her home. Now, too. she works in the fields, and a vivid bit of color she makes in her short kilted scarlet skirt. When she becomes a woman—and she is a woman at fifteen or before—she may have a small shop to tend, and there is the rice to beat and much other work to do. “Marriage brings no vacation. She is pretty sure to have many children to care for. She tends the fields, cooks and frequently bas a stall in the mar- ket for several hours a day. But when the women are reaily old then their rest time comes, They sit quietly by. looking on as life goes past them. but taking part vo more. In spite of the hard labor they have had there is gen erally a very peaceful look in the brown, wrinkled faces of these old women.” —New York Tribune. A ROYAL BED. The Magnificent One That Was Used by Queen Elizabeth. An interesting description of the magnificence of a bedstead ordered for Queen Elizabeth's use is found in a “wardrobe warrant” dated 10581 aud quoted in “Gleanings After Tiwe."” It was of walout tree, richly carved. painted and gilded. The celure, tester and valance were of cloth of silver, tig: ured with velvet, lined with change able taffeta and deeply fringed with Venice gold, silver and silk. The curtains were of costly tapestry curiously and elaborately worked. every seam and every border laid with gold and silver lace, caught up with long loops and bu.tons of bullion. The headpiece was of erimson satin of Bruges, edged with a passaymay ue of crimson silk and decorated with six ample plumes containing seven dozen ostrich feathers of various colors pro fusely decorated with gold spangles, The counterpoint was of orange col- ored satin quilted with cutwork of cloths of gold and silver and of satin: of every imaginable tint embroidered with Venice gold, silver spaungles and beautifully colored silks fringed to cor respond and lined with orange sarce- net. This was a queen's bed, but almosi equally gorgeous ones were cominon for several centuries. In the reign of Queen Anne a bedstead put up as a prize in a lottery was reported to have cost over £3.000.—London Family Her ald. Graft In the Household. The tipping system has become acute now that graft is boldly recognized ax “business,” and the world has uo shame for the majority of workers in the vineyard. A charming young ma. tron exclaimed the other day that graft had even invaded her household She was asked how that were possi ble and replied. “1 have discovered that my most trusted and faithful maid has been approached by some one wh shall be nameless to advise the couk. who is another treasure, to leave me.” “But she did not?" “Yes, she did.” sald the young matron, laughing “Yes, she did, and I don’t blame her for the price. My nice Julia was paid $20 to sell me out, and the cook's wages are about double what | can pay.” “A case of bribery.” “Not at all—plain, unvarnished graft,” was the philosophic response.—Boston Herald. One of Field's Jokes. Edward Everett Hale greatly enjoy ed a joke which was perpetrated ou him by Eugene Field. Field celebrat ed one of Dr. Hale's visits to Chicago ‘by giving a luncheou in his honor and dnviting a number of prominent per- sons to meet him. “Field was aware.” said Dr. Hale, “that | was a temper ance man, and therefore | was some what surprised to see that the tabie on which the luncheon was served was very abundantly supplied with bottle« labeled ‘Whisky,' ‘Brandy’ and ‘Cham pagne.’ But when these bottles can to be uncorked they were all found to contain nothing but water!” Effective. A Chicago judge recently rebuked a person who was sitting in the court. room with his feet placed upon the table by sending him, through a bailif1, a piece of paper on which he had writ: ten the following query: “What size boots do you wear?’ The feet were at once withdrawn. No Panic. “We had a bad fire scare in church today.” “Good gracious! Was there a panic?’ “Not to notice. The minister preach- ed on the infernal regions."—New York Journal, in Prodigal. ; “That feilow seems to be extrava- gant.” “Hopelessly. He spends his own money just as if it were the govern- | ment’s.”—Louisville Courier-Journal. a ADVICE TO HUSBANDS Give Up Your Barren Scepter as Master of the House. JOHN HAYS FIRST SPEECH. A Witty Response to the Toast “Our Countrywomen” at a Banquet In Paris When He Was Secretary of Legation In the French Capital. By official proclamation President Johnson set apart the first Thursday of December, 1865, as a day of na: tional thanksgiving. The American residents and visitors in Paris deemed it an occasion to be celebrated with more than usual ceremony. The re sult was that at 8 o'clock on the even- ing of the 7th of December some 253 of our countrymen sat down to a dinner in the spacious dining room of the Grand hotel in Paris, then regard: ed by travelers as the most elegant public dining ball in Europe. After a succession of speeches the chairman closed the entertainment with a toast to "Our Countrywomen" and asked Colonel John Hay, then secretary of legation in Paris. to re spond to it. As this was probably the first public speech Mr. Hay had ever made nnd though nothing he then said could possibly add any luster to his subsequent career. it may justly be said that it was more successful than the first public effort in oratory either of Sheridan or of Beaconsfield. He replied in part as follows: “My Conntrymen (and | would say my countrywomen but that the for- mer word embraces the latter when- ever opportunity offers)—1 cannot un- derstand why 1 should have been call ed upon to respond to this toast of all others, having nothing but theo- retical ideas upon the subject to be treated—oue. in fact, 1 must be pre- sumed never to have handled. [Laugh- rer and applause.) “1 have been called up, too, by a com mittee of married men. 1 can think of no claim | have to be considered an authority in these matters except what might arise from the fact of my hav- ing resided in early life in the same neighborhood with Brigham Youbg. who has since gained some reputation as a thorough and practical ladies’ man. [Great laughter.] I am not con- scious, however, of having imbibed any such wisdom at the feet of this matrimonial Gamalie! as should justly entitle me to be heard among the elders. “So 1 aw inevitably forced to the conclusion that these husbands cannot trust each other's discretion. The se- crets of the prison house are too im: portant to be trusted to one of the prisoners. So ignorance of the matter in hand has come to be held an abso- lute prerequisite when any one is to be sacrificed to the exigencies of this toast. *I really do not see why this should be so. It is useless for husbands to attempt to keep this thin veneering of a semblance of authority. The sym- bols of government they still retain de ceive nobody. They may comfort them- fort themselves with the assurance of some vague. invisible supremacy, like that of the spiritual mikado or the grand llama, but the true tycoon is the wife. A witty and profound observer the other day said. ‘Every husband doubtless knows he Is master in his own house, but he also knows his neighbor's wife is master in hers’ [Laughter and cheers.) “Why should wot you, husbands of America, admit this great truth and give up the barren scepter? Things would go much easier if you ceased the struggle to keep up appearances The ladles will not be bard on you They will recognize the fact that, after all, you are their fellow creatures, and you can be very useful to them in many little ways. They will doubtless allow you to pay their bills, take care of their children and carry their votes to the ballot box just as you do now. “You had better come down grace- fully. and, above all, let no feeling ot discovered inferiority betray you into evil speaking of the domestic powers. There have been recent instances of distinguished gentlemen, no doubt in- stigated by rebellious husbands, wbo have recklessly accused these guard- ian angels of your fireside of being extravagant and frivolous. These things are never uttered with impuni- ty. 1 would not insure the life of one who libels the ladies for less than cent per cent, “Discite justitium moniti et non tem- nere Divas, which, as you may not un- derstand the backwoods pronunciation of the classic warning, 1 will translate with a freedom befitting the day we celebrate: “Now, all you happy husbands, Beware the rebel's fate! Live in obedience all your lives, Give up your latchkeys to your wives And never stay out late.” [Laughter and cheers.]—From John Bigelow’s “Retrospections of an Active Life” in Metropolitan Magazine. The Alternative. Constituent—Say, Bill, the salary that goes with my job isn't halt enough to live on. Can't you use your influence to have it raised a little? Al derman—~1'm afraid not, Jake. But I'll do better than that. I'll use my in- fluence to have a cheaper man appoint- ed to the place. —Chicago I'ribune. A Quick Thinker. ; Dittersdorf — Here come two evil looking rascals. . 1 shouldn't wonder if we were held up. Heinz—['m armid so. By the hye, here's that af lent tie this moroing.—Meggendorfer Blntte:, : WA 4 - - F A —— A MISTAKE IN BUYING SHOES. ———— Retail shoe men in order to get their shoes when they want them, and get them as they want them, must buy six months in advance of a season. It is very hard to tell just what is wanted in styles as the styles of shoes change very quickly. I for one, made a mistake this season; purchased too many iace shoes. Lace Shoes are Not Wanted Button Shoes have the floor. I will sell at once all my new fall Ladies’ Shoes, in Lace and Blucher, AT A BIG REDUCTION, Sale begins at once. Must sell them before the season becomes advanced. Will not hold them until they become old. To the Ladies’ that wear Lace Shoes now is the time to get New Fall Shoes at a big reduction. Dorothy Dodd, John, Cross, and Clement & Ball, Ladies’ High Grade Shoes. $4.00 Shoes now $3. $3.50 Shoes now $2.75 and a big lot of 3.00 Shoes now at £2.00. Ladies, this is a chance you cannot afford to miss if you like Lace Shoes, Remember the sale starts at once and lasts until all the Lace Shoes are sold. Do not put it off until the best are all picked out, come at once, or you will be sorry for it later. Co ——— YEAGER’S SHOE STORE, successor to Yeager & Davis. Bush Arcade Building, BELLEFONTE, PA. LYON & CO. CHRISTMAS OPENING. We are prepared for the early Christmas buyers. We will make shopping casy for you. Come in and see our large assortments. Here is just a small list of the many things to select from: FURS, FURS. The largest assortment of Furs, Pillow Muffs, Rug Muffs in black and colors to match. The new shapes in the long pelerine and throw scarfs. Prices the lowest; qualities the best. SILK SCARFS. Our assortment of Silk Hemstitched Scarfs is the best ever shown in the town. All colors. Black and white from soc. to $5.00. PETTICOATS, A handsome gift and appreciated by all women A fine Silk Petticoat or a handsome Heather- bloom Petticoat. Prices always the lowest. SILKS, SILKS. Silk Messaline and Silk Crepe De Chine. The largest assortment of black and colored Silk and Messaline suitable for waists, street and evening Owns. : BLACK TAFFETA SILK. SpeciaL—We just received a soft Taffeta Silk (in black only). Suitable for dresses, skirts and linings, 36 inches wide. Special price 85c per yd. LINENS, LINENS. Our assortment of Table Linens is better and larger than you will see in any other store. See our 2-yard-wide in the stripe and floral patterns. Also have 23{ yard Satin Damask in the rose stripe patterns. Napkins to match all table linen. Linen Scarts, hemstitched and lace and inser- tion trimmed, from 25c up. Handsome Doilies, lace edge and drawn work insertion. HANDKERCHIEFS, In Cotton, Linen and Silk, initial and hemstite! al white and colored border; ie doin a A ematitehed, HOSIERY. Hose in cotion, wool and lisie gause, in black all colors, 216 the youngest or the ordeet, ang b LACE COLLARS, Lace Collars and Jabots in al! styles from the t in- Sr aoe a to Tian Irom Ine hespent BP: LEATHER GOODS. latest styles in Leather Goods, Everything Chate a Ta Hooks. new in Big reductions in all Ladies’ and Misses’ Coats and Coat Suits and Children's Conis. Come into our store and we will save you help you do your Christmas buying with little worry. LYON & COMPANY, 2:19 Allegheny 8t., Bellefonte; Pa.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers