Ee i Benet e—————— — Er ————— February 7. LINCOLN'S JOKE. Fixing the Responsibility For the Loss of Harpers Ferry. President Lincoln's jokes, especially when perpetrated In connection with grave matters, usually bad a purpose in them. After Lee had taken Har- pers Ferry the president, realizing how great a calamity ‘t was to the norgh- r arms, determined if possible to fix responsibility for the loss of the important position. Halleck was summoned, but did not know where the blame lay. “Very well,” said Lincoln, “I'll ask General Schenck.” The latter could throw no light upon the question, further than to say that he was not to blame. MIil- roy was the next to be called to the presence of the commander in chief and to enter a plea of “not guilty.” Hooker was next given a hearing, and “Fighting Joe” made a very emphatic disclaimer of all responsibility. Then the president assembled the four generals in his room and said to them: “Gentlemen, Harpers Ferry was surrendered and none of you, it seems, is responsible. 1 am very anxious to discover the man who is.” After strid- ing across the room several times the president suddenly threw up his bow- ed head and exclaimed: “1 have it! 1 know who is responsible!” “Who, Mr. President; who Is it? asked the distinguished quartet as they looked anxious, if not troubled. “Gentlemen,” said the president, with a meaning twinkle in his eye. “General Lee is the man.” There was a lack of mirth in the laugh created, and the four generals took their departure with a determina- tion thay they would not again be placed under suspicion. SLEEP MYSTERIES. Often Performed While the Worker S!'umbers. A psychologist was discussing the miracles of sleep. “One can become so accustomed,” he sald. “to a monotonous task that one can fall asleep and still keep on work- fng. Thus in India there are punka coolles. men who turn a fan all night long in the hot weather while their English masters rest, and it is not un- common for a punka cooly to acquire the knack of sleeping at his task. On and on he sleeps through the hot, per: fumed hours of the Indian night, but his hand mechanically and steadily turns the punka pulley. “Men have composed great literary Tasks pines ote rsa — gir! told the story of Solomon and the disputing mothers in this wise: “Solo mon was a very wise man. One day two women went to him. quarreling about a baby. One woman sald, ‘This is my child’ and the other woman sald. ‘No. "taiu't; it's mine! But Solo- mon spoke up and said: ‘No. no, la- dies: don’t quarrel. Give me my sword, and I'll make twins of him, so you can both have one.” WONDERFUL BREAD. The Veracious Narrative of Its Make. ing, Baking and Sale. “How did 1 happen to become a ho- tel clerk?” replied the man behind the desk. “Well, it was this way: 1 used to be a sailor. That was where | learned about whales. In fact, 1 was second mate of the first fron ship that over rounded the Horn, bound from Boston to San Francisco, loaded with dour, yeast and salt to furnish grub to the California miners soon after the civil war. “We got around the Horn all right when we ran into about the worst bit of weather ever brewed on eific. Iron ships were an experiment then, trouble. The fresh water tanks sprang a leak, and the water ran down over the cargo. To make matters worse, the flour barrels and boxes of yeast broke loose, and with the rolling of the ship we soon had it all mixed up to- gether. In other words, the whole ship below decks was full of dough just as a regular preadmaking machine does out In the kitchen here. And it began to rise. “We fastened down the hatches at first. but soon had to take them off on the lower decks or the expanding dough would burst the ship. And we put on all steam for San Francisco. We crossed the equator like a race horse. and there we made our second great mistake. The strain on the engines caused them to break down, so we had to go at half speed, and we were at a standstill for two whole days right there under a burning sun. The storm we had run out of, and the weather was clear and hot. Whew! “Then we got under full steam again and plowed north to the Golden Gate with a deck hand sitting on the safety valve. But we were too late. tropic sun had baked that ghipload of dough into one huge loaf of bread. How to get it out of the ship was a question. “The owners, who were the captain and one of our passengers, sold the ship just as she arrived for only half what they had paid for her new in Bos. ton. But the new owner was a genius, He put the hungry miners to work with picks and shovels cutting out the bread and sold it at the rate of §1 a shovelful, It was the finest bread you or any one else ever ate. works in their sleep. Coleridge's ‘Ku: bla Khan' is the most famous example | of this: but, then. Coleridge was a morphinomaniac., and his sleep was | scarcely natural. But R. L. Stevenson, Corelli and Longfellow have also done good work while sleeping. “Divers sometimes fall asleep deep down in the sea, but some unknown part of their brain keeps watch, and at the proper moment, though asleep. they give the order to be hauled up. This is a good deal like the miracle that happens to all of us—the miracle whereby if we tell ourselves on retir- ing that we must wake at 7 we in- variably do wake at that hour—how or why it is impossible to say. Some part of us watches, works, keeps awake all night, so that at 7 it may call us.”—New Orleans Times-Demo- crat. Penny For a Priceless Book. A workingman once purchased for a penny an aged looking volume bearing date of 1540. The man tried to read it, but threw up the attempt apparent- ly In disgust, and the volume was rele- gated to the cupboard. A friend of his to see the book and took it to the British museum authorities, who promptly made an offer of £90, the highest sum the librarian is allow- ed to expend without a special vote of the trustees. Had the man known what he was about he would have stood out for more, as the authorities would have paid almost any price rath- er than allow the volume to slip through their fingers. It was, in fact, the first book printed by Gutenberg and was therefore almost priceless.— London Tit-Bits. Iraproved on Solomon. Io a certain Sunday school a little “] was out of a job as second mate, and when 1 saw what a profit there was in that bread 1 just naturally went into the feeding business myself, and that's how 1 became assoclated with the hotel business. Front! Show this gentleman to the cafe." —Portland Ore- gonian. Mary Stuart's Curious Watches. Among the watches owned by Mary Stuart was a coffin shaped watch in a case of crystal. Probably the most re- markable one in her collection was the one which was bequeathed to Mary Seaton, her maid of honor. It was in the form of a skull. On the forehead of the skull was the symbol of death. the scythe and the hourglass. At the back of the skull was Time, and at the top of the head were the garden of Eden and the crucifixion. The watch was opened by reversing the skull. In- side was a representation of the holy H°" IS YOUR BLOOD? if you lack strength, are nervous, have no appetite, don't asp well _get tired easily, your blood is in condition. You cannot be strong without pure, rich blood. Hood's Sarsaparilia Takes good, rich blood and keeps it good. Hap xo Apeerire—*"1 was troubled with d ian and had no appetite. I had a faint feeling after eating. My constitu. tion was all run down, but Hood's SBarsa- parilia bs fully relieved me." Fronexce Sniderville, Wisconsin, Hood's Sarsapatilla is sold everywhere. In the usuai liquid, or in tablet form eall- HL SASATA Rear 60 dome on . oe ® Mass. y 53-4 Yr YOU WISH TO BECOME. A Chemist, A Teacher, An Engineer, A Lawyer, An Electrician, A Physician, A Scientific Farmer, A Journalist, in short, if you wish to secure a training that will THE PENNSYLVANIA STATE COLLEGE fit you well for any honorable pursuit in lite, OFFERS EXCEPTIONAL ADVANTAGES. TUITION IS FREE TAKING EFFECT IN SEPT. 1900, the General Courses have been ex nish & much more varied range of electives, after the Py in beat in the United IN ALL COURSES. Fresh numa deck Languages. and | hors. Electrical, Mechanical and Engineering YOUNG WOMEN are admitted to all courses on the same terms as Young Men. WINTER SESSION opens January 9th, 1908. For specimen examination papers or for catalogue giving full information respecting courses of study, expenses, etc., and showing positions held by graduates, address THE REGISTRAR, | family surrounded by angels. while the the Pa- and we soon found ourselves Iu | that the rolling of the ship kneaded | The | shepherds and their flocks were wor shiping the newborn Christ. The works yorwed the brains, while the dial plate was the palate. She also an- other skull shaped watch, but it is not known what became of it. The Egg In Medicine. fhe white of an egg is an antidote in cases of poisoning with strong acids or corrosive sublimate. The poison will coagulate the albumen, and if these poisons be in the system the white of an egg, if swallowed quickly, will com- bine with the poison and protect the stomach. An astringent poultice is made by causing it to coagulate with alum. This is called alum curd and is used in certain diseases of the eye. The yolk of the egg Is sometimes used in jaundice and is an excellent diet for dyepeptics. Bungle’'s Bad Break. Mr. Bungle always takes a deep and sympathetic interest in the welfare of | nis fellow man. While out for a stroll ' one day he met a friend. who seemed in a great hurry. “Hold on, Jones,” said Bungle, grab- bing his friend’s arm. “Why this rush?’ “Bungle,” sald Jones, removing his hat and wiping his brow, “I'm hot foot- ing it to a specialist. 1 belleve my | brain is affected.” | Mr. Bungle, to allay the fears of his ' friend and show the customary com- | miseration, said jovially: “pshaw. Jones, you shouldn't worry | about such a little thing as that!” “Wh-hat?" “] mean you shouldn't let such a 1it- tle thing as your brain—that Is, Mr. Jones, you shouldn't get £0 excited over nothing—of course—ah, good day, Mr. Jones!" — Bohemian, Teaching the Drummer. It was the custom in the days of our old navy for the men to bring to the mast all the wornout articles which were to be inspected. handed in and ex- changed for new. The drummer had applied for so many drum heads that the commodore felt sure he was being imposed upon and one day set himself to watch while the band was playing. | As one rattling martial air followed an- | other his anger increased perceptibly until he burst forth in uncontrollable i rage: “Phere. now, confound you! I see why yon use so many drum heads. Don’t drum in the middle of it all the | ttme. Drum all over that drum, 1 tell | you!" Plants That Hate One Another. Fancy two plants being so unfriend- ly that the mere neighborhood of one {8 death to the other. Yet this Is the case with two well known English plants. These are the thistle and the rape. If a field is infested with this- tles which come up year after year and ruin the crops, all you have to do is to sow it with rape. The thistle will be absolutely annihilated. REGEEAEREREEE SESPESEERERIR n State College, Centre County. Pa. | { | | lose the health than it is to recover it. Bight Thousand Idie Trains. New York, Jan. 24.—Figures prepared for une of the large railroad companies show that a week ago there were 50,000 idle freight cars in the United States and about 8000 loeowotives, which are laid up because of the falling off in traffic. As there are 2.200.000 freight cars in the ooun- try, this would show that 14 per ceut of all the cars owned by railroads are stored ov side tracks waiting for loads. Figuring the value of cars at $1000 each and of locomotives at $15,000 each, the | statement shows that she 1ailroads bave $440,000,000 tied up in rolling stock, for which there is no present use. The great shortage in rolliog stock lias year canced large orders for cars to be by rail- roads. As late a= last the repoit- ed shortage was 87,000 cars. Estimating the average freight train at 40 cars, she 320,000 cars now idle would be equivalent to 8000 trains, for bandling each of which four wen are ordinarily re- 80 shat it may be estimated that more than 30,000 men less are needed than if all these cars were in service. Many men have heen placed on short time. As fixed charges must be met in dull times as well as in active, and maintenance and other expenses must be provided for, the managements of many railroads are under- stood to be discussing she question of re- ducing wages, as a necessary measure.—In Altoona Gazefte. It’s a great deal easier to spend money than to get it. Iv's a great deal easier b ' ia not reasonable, therefore, to expect that | a few doses of Dr. Pierce's Favorite Pre- 'seription will undo the results of years of disease. Bot every woman who uses ‘‘Fa- | vorite Preseription’’ can he sore of this: It always helps, it almost always cures. Wom- en who soffer with irregularity, weaken- ing drains, inflammation, ulceration, or fe- male weakness, will find no help so sure, no cure so complete, as that which follows the use of *‘Favorite Prescription.” Subscribe for the WATCHMAN. —— CASTORIA For Infants and Children, The Kind You Have Always Bought Bears the Signature of CHAS. H. FLETCHER. Pres. TRADE MARKS, COPY- rights, &c. Anyone sending a sketch and description may quickly ascertain onr opinion free whether an invention is grotably patentable, Communications strictly confidential. Handbook on patents sent free. Oldest agency for securing prea #0 years experience. ttens taken hrongh Munn & Co. receive Special Notice, with out charge in the SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN. a handsome illustrated weekly. Largest etrenla lation ot any scientific journal. Terms $5 a year; four months §1. Sold by all newsdealers. MUNN & CO, 361 Broadway, New York. Branch Office, 625 F 8t, Washington, D.C. 5245-1y. A ———— y - Fauble'’s Great Cloth Attorneys-at-Law. Meat Markets. C. MEYER—Attorney-at-Law, Rooms 20 & eo 21, Crider's Exchange, Beliefonte, Pa. tices in all the Courts. Consultation in N B. SPANGLER — Atiorney-ast-Law. Prac. - . Office in Crider's Ex- 0.22 glish and German. change, Bellefonte, Pa. Law, ce, Garman House Block, llefonte, Pa. All kinds of legal business at- tended to promptly. 40-49 H 8. TAYLOR—Attorney and Counsellor at .. KLINE WOODRING . ATTORNEY-AT-LAW Bellefonte, Pa. Practices in all the courts. 51-1-1y WwW C. HEINLE — Attorney-ai-Law, Belle- « fonte, Pa. Office in Crider's Exchange, second floor. All fessional business will re- ceive prompt attention. 30-16 J H. WETZEL—Attorney and Counsellor at . Law. Office No. 11, Crider's Exchange, second floor. All kinds of legal business attend- 41 8 promptly. Consultation in Eoglish or Gar ETTIG, BOWER & ZERBY-—Attorneys-at- Law, Eagle Block, Bellefonte, Pa. Sue- cessors to Urvis, Bower & Orvis. Practice in all the courts, Consultation in English or German. 50-7 M. KEICHLINE — Attorney-at-Law. Prac- e¢)« ticein all the courts, Consultation in English and German. Office south of court house. All professional business will receive prompt attention. 49-5-1y* Physicians. 8. GLENN, Moin Ph sieian and Sur. . geon, State e, re county. Office at his residence. - Nes Y 35-41 Dentists. R. J. E. WARD, D.D.S., office next door to Y. M. C. A. room, High street, Bellefonte, re a imiaisteran for Dulles extracting . Saperior Crown and Eridge work. Price reasonable, ge 52-82. . R. H. W. TATE, Surgeon Dentist, office in the Bush Arcade, Bellefonte, Pa. All . modern electric appliances used. Has had years of experience. All work of superior quality and prices reasonable, 581y Veterinary. a DD J. JONES VETERINARY SURGEON. A Graduat; of the University of Lood has Seimanently located at the PALACE LIVERY STABLES, Bellefonte, where he will answer all calls for work in his profes. sion. Dr. Jones served four years under State Veterinsry Surgeon Plerson. Calls by telephone will be answered promptly day or might. 50-5-1y Hair Dresser. aes THE LADIES.—Miss Jennie Mor- gan in her new room on Spring 8t., lately used as offices by Dr. Locke, is now ready to tmeel any and all patients wishing treatments by electricity, treatmenta of the scalp, facial mas. sage or neck and shoulder massage. She has also for sale a large collection of real and imita- tion shell pins, combs and ornaments and will ba able to supply you with all kinds of toilet articles including creams, powders, toilet waters, ex- racts and all of Hudnut's preparations. 50-18 Gr THE BEST MEATS. You save pothing ” y buying, = tain LARGEST, FATTEST, CATTLE, and su my customers with the fresh ont, hlood and muscle mak - ing Steaks and Roasts. My prices are no than poorer meats are alse- w 1 always have DRESSED POULTRY —— Game in season, and any kinds of good meats you want. Tay My Suor. P. L BEEZER High Street. Halinfonte 43-34-1y com—— Travelers Guide. pry == CENTRAL RAILROAD OF PENNA. Condensed Time Table effective June 17, 1908 Reap powwn Ruaw ; M——————— Stations — No 1|o io 3 No ofno 4fNes. a m.|p.m.|p. m. r.1p. M.|p. |. (a. ] +7 05 6 55 2 20| BELLEFONTE. % 1006 06 9 40 715 7 08] 2 33|...... lL | 8 67] 4 562 34 72017 11 237 .iiinee reesssee | 18 61] 4 47119 727 718] 2 45 .HECLA PARK.| 8 45| 4 41} 9 15 T% 247... Dun kles......| 8 43] 4 38| 9 13 7 83117 | 2 51)... Hublersburg...|18 39] 4 34/19 09 7 37 7 28| 2 85|...Snydertown.....| 8 36) 4 20] 9 06 74007 2 58}.cuee {Hany ....| 18 34) 4 2710 04 T 42(17 33] 3 01]. uston 18 32 3H 746 7 38] 305 18 20) 4 5 59 7 4517 40] 8 08....Clintondale....|18 26] 4 18/18 58 7 52) 7 #4) 8 12|.Erider'sSiding.| 8 22} 4 14 5 68 7 66/17 40) 8 16 wMasheoyville. . 18 18! 4 068 48 8 02] 7 54] 3 22|...Cedar Spring...| 8 12| 4 63, 8 42 8 08] 7 57 8 ¥5.........S8l00A........ 81 soi 840 8 10) 8 02] 3 30... MILL HALL...| 8 05] 3 56] 8 35 (N. Y. Central & Hudson River R. R.) 11 40) 8 53|.........Jersey Shore.........| 3 08 753 12 15, 9 S0[Arr. . Lve| 235) 1150 12 99 1 Joidr } wawPORT } X70 3) 50 Phila, & Reading Ry. 730] 6 80}ucucirssens bE By.) te 98} 11 80 | 9 00 9 00}..counnee NEW YORK......... ve.la. m. lp. m. (Via Phila. ) L tWeek Days WALLACE H. GEPHART, General Superintendent, BELLEFONTE CENTRAL RAIL- ROAL. Schedule tv take effect Monday, Jan. 6, 1608. p. m.la. m. Arr. WESTWARD EASTWARD read down | read up 1o.sfo. o> Srarions. |¢No.2ltNo. ™ rom | Am jan |Lv Ar. am | vom (eo. 2 00! 17 15/6 30] ...Bellefonte....| 8 50] 12 60ia (0 2 07) 10 20!6 35|..... Coleville......| 8 40 12 40i3 60 2 12! 10 23/6 88,...... Monis.......| 8 87} 12 376 41 2 17| 10 27]6 43|......8tevens....... © 35) 12 35/5 43 ..Lime Centre.. | 2 91/ 10 30/6 46. Hunter's Park.| 8 31 12 11.5 40 2 26| 10 346 50 8 u8| 12 28/5 35 2 32| 10 40/6 57|...... Briarly...... 8 241 12 24/5 30 2 35( 10 45/7 00 8 20) 12 20|5 25 2 50 10 577 12 8 07] 12 07.5 07 3% 1110 5 0 Too —, IT 27 TH 0 781... Blorm ac ...| 70 340 7 85 Pine wrove M'ls| 7 85, ls 20 F. HH. THOMAS, Supt. — ‘MEN'S AND BOY'S LOVERCOATS.. at the Fauble Stores at M. FAUBLE AND SON. Shoes for Men and Boys at a Big Saving. RR Ee
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers