The Demco .tic Watchman. BELLEFONTE, PA LOVING, BUT.UNLOVED Out from his palace home He came to my cottage door; ew were his looks and words, But they linger for elrermore. The smile of his sad blue eyes Was tender u smile could be; Yet I was nothing to him, Though he wan the world to me I Pair was the bride he won Yet her heart was never hie own; Her beauty he tied and held, But his 'Writ was ever alone. I would have been his slave, With a kiss for my life long fee; But I was nothing to him, While he wee the world to me I To-47. In his stalely home, Oda flower-strewn bier he Ilea, With the drooping tide fast closed O'er the beautiful sad blue eyea.l And among the mourners who mourn I may not a ILIOIIIIIOI . be; Tor I was nothing to him Though he was the world to me I How will It be with our /mule When they meet in the better lend? What the mortal could never know, Will the spirit yet understand ? Or, to some celestial form, Must the sorrow repeated be, And I be nothing to him While he dims Heaven for me 1 —!taper for Hypnosis/4r THE ELOPEMENT "Your aunt Charlton and cousin Jennie will he here ori the next train, Russell." paid Mr. Wilder to lire neph ew. "You had better get the pony chaise, and bring them from the--" "Can't. Ant going away myself, sir." "The—the d-1 you are'" respon ded the old gentleman, pushing his spectacles up over his forehead, arid re garding his nephew a ith an air of eur pride and consternation "Yes, sir. Charley Hunt invited me out to nis place for a few weeks, and I thought I might as well go now as any time." "I should say that it was a •ery strauie time to he leaving home. Your aunt and cousin will consider it as a personal affront, sir." "It is not intended as such, sir. Though to be frank, considering the object of Jennie's vigil, I prefer not to see her. And I lutist say that I think she would have shown more sense and delicacy if she would have stayed away." "Your cousin is a very lively little girl, Mr. Impudence, and won't be like ly to go a begging." "I don't doubt it in the least. But for all that, she wont suit me for a wile, uncle. - "Ilrow do you know that, you con ceited young donkey, when you never saw her ?" inquired the irate old Ivan ( bringing his cane down upon the thu with startling emphasis "Common sense teaches me that no marriage can be a happy one that does not spring from nttu ual love. And one thing I am resolved, that I will never marry from mercenary motives." "Nobody wants von to marry the girl u nless tun ,like her'"roared Mr. Wilder, lima lace growing purple wait rage and .exation at his nephew's per ♦ersrty -All I ask is iliat you will stay end see her. And this Iv a point I insist es, sir, I insist upon kr, "1 14111 curry to divoliey you, uncle, but ill ~lout l tat, it will 4 ... 1 ) gm' nee to cuucluswu that I 11111 11,11X1011/4 to avoid, hut I will tell you what will .10 liv II relintoti-dt all claim to the itrotterti that ‘ou are vu minutiae should riot he distded As that seems to he the 'WWI 1119.'0, I think that it ought to he satistneittry to all parties. - A hew minutes later Itutieell partied by the 10111,4,1%1, valise ut hand. lie nodded good, huotoreillv to his node as he glance.] in, who glared at ter lillll in t .itt echlet, rage. "lie shan't I,nte a peony --not a pesmy I lie grueoiea, as sinking hack 30 his chair, he wiped the perapiration froth his forehead "What's the matter now ?" said the rode voice of his wile, 1'011), who lad j ust entered the roow "Matter enough, I eh ould may. Rum ble' has gone—actually cleared out, no se not to nee hin courou. What di; you think of that?' "1 think you'll ha%c another attack of the gout, if you get )oureell no ex hflld the good lad), an nhe plat idly gemumed her knitting. "W' hate to be done now "Nothing that I can nee. If Rue• se) and Jennie had at:en each other be tore they had any notion that you wanted then. to marry, lea to one but that they would have fallen head and gars in lots with each other, lint as Matters are now, I don't belrive at would be of the least use. From what Ellen writes me, I should think Jen nie to be as much opposed to it as Rue rel. She says she can't hear to hear his name menituried,iithd that it wan as much as she counl do to get her consent to come at all, when she heard that Russel was at home." "They are A couple of simpletons," maid the old gentleman, testily. "I've got half a mind to make another will, apd leave toy property to sown charm table institution . in going to Dighton, whither lie arse bound Russel Wilder had to trai -1 part of the way by stage. There was only one passenger be sides himself, fur which he was not sorry, the day being very hot and sul This passenger was a lady—there seas an air of 4iiinistakable ladyhood about her which told him that. He Noticed particularly the daintily gloved bands and well fitting boots. Uer graceful form indicated that she tale both young and pretty, but he amid not see her fare on account of Obi envious veil that hid it. But as soon as she got comfortably Milled in the corner, to which Russel imusisted her t he threw it back, disclos• ed a fair, sweet fare, lighted by a pair of won drone! y bright black eye., which shot a swift, bewildering glance into hie, that weft so intently regarding her. The stidden etarling of the coach, which spun -sent the lady's parcels from the seat to, the dont., gave Russell an opportuniq of speaking, as he return ed them, or erliieb be what not slow to take advantage. From thitirtliey fell easily into con versation; and it was curious how so ciable they became. They tatt .... ,ced of the beautiful scenery through which they were passing; of the newest books and latest magazines, some of which Rueseil.had with him. The lady inwardly thought her com panion to be the moat entertaining and agreeable man she ever met with. And as for Russell, be often lost the thread of his discoUrse in gmiring the red, dimpled lips, and the pearly teeth they disclosed whenever she spoke or smiled. Certain it is, hie four hours ride from P to Dighton, were the shortest lour hours lie had ever known in hie life. "Where do you want to be left sir ?" inquired the coachman as he entered the village. "At Air. Charles Hunt's, Locust Hill. Do you know where that is?" said Russell, putting his head out of the window. "Certainly, sir; take you there in a jiffy." "Why there's where I'm going!" said the lady, opening her eyes widely. Nelly—Mr Hunt's wire, is my moat particular friend ; we used to go to school together r' "And Charley Hunt is one of the finest fellows in the world." "flow very odd I" "[low very fortunate?" exclaimed Russell, with a meaning glance at his fair companion, which made the rosy cheeks still more rosy. "Might I take the liberty of inquir ing Hut just al this moment the stage stopped in front of the house, on the portico of which stood Mr. and Mrs. Hunt, enjoying the e•ening breeze. In a moment Russell WAS shaking hands with the former, while his corn panion rushed eagerly into the arms of the surprised and delighted wife. "Why, what a happy surprise, Jen nie!" she said, after spiriting her vie ilor off to her own room ; "I had giv en up all idea of seeing you this sum mer." "And I had no idea of being able to come, until just before I started. You see, mamma—my step mamma, you know—was going to Uncle Wilder's, and she insisted on my going with her to see the hateful, disagreeable cousin of mine, that they are determined to marry me to. So when mamma was busy packing, I just put on my things and slipped off, leaving a note to tell where I was going. Wasn't that a good joke on them all!" "I etiould think it was," said Nally, with, it h u rt of merriment, far more than the occasion warranted. "When Paw who your companion was, I thought you were out on your wedding tour." "No, indeed, never saw the man un til he got into the stage at P But, really, he in the finest looking man I ever Haw, and so agreeable. Who la her "Oh, I'll introduce you when you come low.. stairs. There's Sarah walling loser me about supper. You'll Lase only. to dress. Mind and look your prettiest!" And with a rouposh shake of hsrfln ger at her friend, Nellie rail Hatay to rive idiom suriorr Jennie did not "look her pret Hew, she certainly looked very lovely ne she entered the supper room, her lino, cult ecclianged lor a teeth, solt mush., It hose simplicity and purity were relieed only k the violet-color ed rililions in the hair and throat. linemen bail also taken great piing with hie Loilet as could be seen by hie 'oilers linen and carefully arranged hair. The pause that followed Jennie's entrance was broken by Mr. Hunt, who in response to a meaning glance lrum his wile, said : "Russell, allow Ins to introduce to you 'our cousin, Jelin e; Miss Charl. ton, your cousin, Hu ell Wilder." The embarrassme birth followed the blank astonishment into which this anipuncement threw the parties so unexpectedly made known to each other, Wits quickly dispelled by tie turn !bat was gi%en It by their Lust and "1 slippone want to book your sell for the next stage?" said Mr Hunt, shyly to Ronald, who had been talked Into hia friend's confidence. "And you," said Ills wife, turtling to Jennie, "I don't suppose anything could tempt you to remain, now that you have seen that hateful, disagrees "Nellie!" interrupted Jennie,crim suiting, as she remembered her v►ords. "Well, I won't then. But you must let me laugh. Just to think of both of you running in the name direction, and to the sate place." The ringing laugh that burst from Nellie's lips was too contagious to be resisted, even by those at whose ex pense it was raised. Ibis merriment was followed by a general feeling, and a pleasanter tea party never gathered around social board. We need hardly say that Russell did not take the stage the next morning, nor did Jennie teem at all disposed to cut short her' visit on account of her cousin's unexpected appearance. When they did go, they went, as they came, together. Mr. Wilder's astonishment was on. ly equaled by his delight, on looking out of the window to see the two walk• ing up the path towards the house, arm in arm, and apparently on the beet of terms. As for Russell and Jennie, they seemed to regard the unexpected meet• ing as an isidicalion 01 their "manifest destiny," accepting it as much, much to the joy of their uncle, whose darl ing wish was acoompliiihed In tike mar riage of the two, thut - made happy in spit, of themselves. The NetWeil dense. Wio abould I meet but Bain Skip• gams, wade up like\ a regular swell, 1411 emit of black, stove-pipe bat, patent leather booth, and all. "What's the lay Sam ?" , set I. "What's yer game?" "The Nashunal game," see Sam. "I'm a member and stockholder of the Dirty Stockings." "Yee, but what's the game? Is it 'bones' or 'papers?'" sea I, kinder ig norin' the stockings. "It's the one-ball game," sea Sam. "The Nashunal flame of Base Ball. Want to jine Y' "Well, I don't mind," sez I, "but I'd like to be left out of wearing the stock ings till cooler weather." "Stow that," sez Sam "Dirty Stock ings is the pet name of our professional nine." So Sam agreed to let me have some of his stock and some brads to pay for membership, and went to the Chateau grounds to see the first game for the championship between the Dirty Stock ings and the Soiled Shirts of Sedalia. It was as hot as biases, but you may pick me up for a flat if there warn't more than three thousand people sitting there in the sun. Pretty soon the game began. The first they did was to select en umpire. An umpire's duty is to elan' out one side and holler, an' to make a sure thing of it, every once in a while he sings out, "One bawl I" "Two bawll" Alter they had stood the umpire out in the sun, one of the Dirty Stockings picked up a big club and stood over a little iron plate like a pavior with a rani trier. Three other chaps wentand stood on three little sail-loft cushions ; three other fellows winked at each other and got aster out in the field as they could ; another man planted himself about fif teen feet from one of the chaps on the little cushions. Sam says they call this man short stop, because he don't stop there long before his head is caved in by the ball. Then a player stood behind the chap on the little iron plate, an' another wenc.in front of him and began to pitch a ball at his head, and lie dodged it, an' then the chap behind him would chuck it back. Binie-by the feller that, held the full hand of clubs got triad, struck the ball an' drove it into the short•etop man's stomach, flung his , club back an' knocked out the front teeth of the man behind ; then he ran at one of the chaps on the tittle cushions, knocked bun down and stamped on him, and went for the chap on the next cushion, but the ball got there somehow before he did, and the chap on the second cusp• ion grabbed it and fetched him a pelt aide of the head an lie caine up Then the umpire yelled, "Out The crowd cheered, the wounqed were carried off in an ambulance, new men put in their places, and they began all over again. I asked Sam tf anybody ever got hurt playing the Nashunal game. "Not enough to interfere with the grille," nays Sam. "We're located our grounds very near the city hospital ; ha. e our own ambulance, coroner arid undertaker, and the doctor brings the medical students over to all the matches to study surgery. We did have a life rind accident insurance agent, but the tit , t two matches tailed his company." 'tarn says that when the NashiMai F ame was first introduced, men used to play for fun and exercise, but since Jilin Morrissey, Jim Fisk and our kind have taken the game up, they have to pay a member of the professional nine a thousand dollars for the season, Me doctor's bill and all Le can make through his friend.' inside bets You can bet your pile the Natatorial game's a big thing. Drop of Ink Think of a qiieen't4 first signature of a death warrant, where the tears tried to blanch the fatal darkness of the dooming ink, of a traitor's adhesion to a deed of rebellion, written in gall; of s forger's trembling imitation of an other's wrirot, where each letter took the shape cl the gallows; of a lover's pa...innate proposal, written in fire , of a proud girl's refusal, written in ice , of ditither'm riving expoetulation with a wx) ward soli, written in her heart's blood ; of an indignant lather's disin heriting curses on his first born, black with the lost color of the gray bairn shall go down in sorrow 10 the grave—think of those and of all the other impassioned writings to which e very hour gives birth, and what a strangely potent Protean thing a drop of ink grows to be? All over the world it is distilling at the behest of men Here a despairing prisoner ie writing a confession orfaith with a rusty nail on his damp dungeon wall. There an anxious lover is deceiving all but his bride, wish an ink which lie only knows how to render visible. Beleaguered soldiers in Indian forts are confiding to the perilous secrecy of rice-water and innocent milk their own lives and the fortunes of their country. Ship-wrecked sailors about to be engulfed in mid ocean are consigning to a floating bot tle the faint pencil memorandum of the spot where they will swiftly go down into the jaws of death. Everywhere happy pairs, dear husbands and wives, affectionate brothers and sisters, and all the busy world, aewriting of each other on endless topics, with whatever paper comes to hand, whatever pen, whatever ink. Thevaried stream thus lorever flowing is the intellectual and emotional blood of the world, and no one need visit Egypt, or MlllllllOll an Eastern magician, to show him all the joys and woes of men reflected from the mirror of a drop of ink.—Alacntil. lan's Magazine. —lt is reported that two thousand people of color are asking help from the American Colonization dociety to emigrate to Liberia. The Lisping Moor A good story has been told of • lisp ing °Meer hitting been victimized by s brother °nicety whq, was noted for his cool dalibe ation ind strong nerves, 11l his gett og, squire with him ila the following to Mier : The cool joker, lby ceptain, was arays qttissing the lisping cater for is nervousnewp, and said to him one y, in the presence of his company : "Why, nervousness is all noneenae. I tell you, lieutenant, no brave man will he nervous." "Well," inquired hie lisping friend, ~ ‘how would you do, euppothe a thell with an inth fhthee thotild drop ithelf in a walled angle in which you had taken thelter from a company of tharp thooters, and where it wath thertain tf you put out your nothe you'd get pep pered ?" "flow?" said the captain, winking at the circle, "why, I'd take itcool and spit on the fuse." The party broke up, and all retired except the patrol. The next morning a number of soldiers were aseembled on the parade, and talking in circles, when along camtAa lisping Houten. ant— Lazily opening his eyes, he re marked: "I want to try an exthperiment thith fine morning, and see how extbeed ingly cool you can be." Saying this, he walked deliberately into the captain's quarter, where a fire was burning on the bearth,and placed in the hottest centre a powder canister, and instantly retreated. There was but one mode of egress from the quar ters, and that was upon the parade ground, the road being built up for de feline. The occupant took one look at the canister, comprehended his situa lion, and in a moment dashed at the door, but it was fastened. "Charlie, let meout, if you love me !" shouted the captain. "Th pit on the canitliter l” shouted the lieutenant, in return. Not a moment was to be lost. He had at first snatched up a blanket to cover his egress, but now dropping it, be raised the window, and out he bounded sans everything but a very short under-garment, and thus, with hair almost on end, he dashed upon the full parade ground. The shouts which hailed him drew out the whole barracks to see what was the matter, and the dignified captain pulled the sergeant in front of him to hide him self. "Why didn'tyou ihpiton it?" asked the lieutenant. "Why, because there were no sharp shooters in front to prevent a retreat," answered the captain. "All I've got to ditty, then, 411 that you might thalely have done it, for I'll thirosar there vratlin't a grain of powder ' The captain has never spoken of nervounneem since. The Last King of Ireland Roderic O'Connor, Or the ancient line of Connaught, was the last king who sat on the throne of Celtic •40eland. this character and exploits are painted with no flattering hand by the monkish writers, who longed for his destruction, or later historians, who have written in the interest of the Roman church All the crones and woes of a fated (Eiltpus are attributed to the unhappy king who ventured tostrike a last blow for the freedom of Ireland, who re slated with obdurate patriotism the steel-clad legions of the pope and henry 11, and who more than once seems to have been on the eve of a final tri• um ph. It Is that Roderic was thrown ni chains hi his father, who feared his savage temper. that lie put out the eyes 01 I.i. iso brothers, and that he wasted in i o I (elide the forces that should bloe heel, turned against the foe. Ile Heron., in teed, to have wanted prudence, and too often to hav4' been deceived by the treacherous arta of Dermot and the priests.. Yet one cannot avoid reviewing with sympathy the story of the unhappy monarch whose disastrous reign was at least marked by a sincere patriotism, and whose misfortunes were never merited by his treachery or his servile fear. Amidst his savage wilds and ancestral wilds the O'Connor, terrified by novel dangers, assailed by the moat powerful monarch of the age, exposed to the anathemas of the Italian church, sur rounded by traitors, and scarcely safe from the intr'guee of his OWII sons or his ambitious rivals, still maintained a spirit not unworthy of that long line of patriotic diode of whom lie was des tined to be the last, and it is a grace ful trait in the character of Roderic that lie strove once more to revive, by liberal endowments, the famous college of A rtnagh, emir conscious that Ireland could only hope to secure its freedom by a general education of its people.— //arper's Magazine. GIRLS, HEAR This I—Do not smile On the suitor that Velma your fair name; the love which he speaks to you is washed from hie lips by the wine. Do not let him pledge his alle giance over the glees of fiery epirite-- it is blasphemy ; it will be perjury. The wine is dearer to his heart than your sweet face and womanly goodness; tie already has •a mower; he cannot have two. Dream not of conversion after you are hia ; that pathless route in misery and failure. The man who will not sacrifice his love of drink for the prize of your hand, will not, when it ie his in God's name, egiancipate h imself. —A member of the South Caroli• na Legislature, an old bachelor by the name of Evatil, got off the following jeu d'esprit lately : Evans was introduced to a beautiful widow, also named Evans. The intro duction was in this wise: "Mr. Evans, permit me to introduce you to Mrs. Evans." "Mrs. Evans I" exclaimed the spir ited bachelor; "the very lady I have been in search of for the last forty years!" "hadn't Jine4 'etti A rather verdant young Want wh 6219 features exhibited every eytiititome being slightly tinged with {bb eriieSld, lately entered a jewelry etorti:lfi New York, anif gazing earnestly into the Chow-ease, remarked "You've got it heap of mighol pret ty breast pins than, mister, what might you ax for 'em V "What sort of a pin would yr% like to look at?" asked the merchant. "Well, I dunno," said the visitor, pointing to a plain Masonic pip (the compass and square), "how Much is that ' , ere?" "Five dollars, only sir," was the re• ply. "It's a very fine pin, eighteen carat gold, and—" "You barn% ary one with a little gold hand saw laid across it, hey you?" interrupted the would be pm , chacer. "[ believe not, sir," said the mer chant. "I'm juet out of my time, and gwine to set up as a carpenter and jiner, and I thought I'd like some sort of a sign to wear about me, so folks would have an idea who I wee. What do you tax for that ar pin you've got yer hands on 7" "Seven dollars, sir," said the mer chant, producing a compass and square surrounding the letter U. "Seven dollars, eh T" said the youth. "I'll take it—sorry yer didn't hey the hand saw, though, but reckon every body'll understand it. The compass to measure out the work, and the square to see it's all right after it's done meas ured, and every durned fool orter know that 0 antis Wands for gimlet I" TOO Goon COMPANY Fos Ms.—One evening laet mummer a lady who be longs to the editorial staff of one of the leading dailies of New York, had been detained by office duties until rather a late hour. Living on the heights of Fulton Ferry, it was not much of a venture to go home without an escort, and she started. Ou the boat, standing outside enjoy• ing the refreshing breeze after a day's toil, she perceived a gentleman (7) leaning over the guards, but said noth ing. "Are * you alone 7" said he, as the boat neared the slip. "No, sir," said she, and without fur. ther interruption when the boat touched she stepped off. "I thought you were not alone," said the fellow, stepping to her side again. "I am not," replied the lady. "Why, I don't see any one; who is with you 7 "God Almighty and the angels, air. I am never alone." "You keep too good company lor me, madam; good night," and he shot for a Fulton avenue car, then nearly a block away. THE RAINBOW.—A little after a thunderstorm a beautiful rainbow bridged a portion of the sky. A little bov called 'Henry, saw it from the window, and cried out full of joy, "Such wonderful and lovely colors I never saw before. Yonder, by the old willow by the stream, they reached from the clouds to the earth. Surely the leaves are trickling down with the beautiful colors. I will run and fill all my color shells in my paint box with them," lie ran as fast as be could to the willow tree; but to his annoyance, the pour boy found himself standing there in the rain, and could no longer per reit e a single color Wet through and out of heart he turned back and com plained of his disappointment to his father. flis lather smiled and said, "Theme colors cannot be caught in any shell, they are only the rain drops, which seem so brightly painted in the rave of the sun. But so it is my 'dear boy, with all the splendors of the world, though they may seem to he very beautiful, they are only an empty show." If outward 01011 thy foolish heart deceive. Instead of Joy, it will be thine to grieve, —A youngster happened to he playing in the room where his mother and a lady visitor were conversing. Alipther friend called in the mean timb , , and after she left the two—after the manner of the sex—commenced to discuss her peculiarities very freely. Willie was apparently busy with his tots; Lui, •411.. r it .1 shrevt,l l % ' it I t“I , notor. that A lei . mamma will talk about voo o L.O von go away I" Time youthful p .00suptier Wall about right. TOO TRUE !—Joah Billings in de seriliim• the horse fair of the ' •• —warn] society, remarks, %ery Justly : "There are two yoke of oxen on the ground, several yoke of sheep, and it pair of carrots, rind some worsted work ; hut they didn't seem to attract any sympathy. The people seemed to hanker fur the pure agrielil tural horsetrots." Alas for the frailty of human na turn I We conter•a a weakness for ag ricultural hursetrots," too. —A married la who was in the habit of spending oat of her time in the society of her neighbors, happened one day io be taken ill, and sent her husband in grew haste for a physician. The linelialel ran a short distance, and ro.:riir.l, exclaimed : "My dear, .11,.11 I find you when 1 come home ?'' —Somebody onto said that the most perfect personification of dignity he ever saw was an old cow standing In the corner of ■ Virginia fence complacently chewing her cud. ----Two reasons why wont persons don't mind thoir own business: One is, they haven't any business, and the other they haven't any mind. All Sorts. —Some one says that the lion and lamb may lie down together in this world, but when the lion gets up it will be hard work to find the lamb. —Victoria Woodhull has taken a homes In Washington. She hopes to take two others—the House of Repre sentatives and the White Houso. When we read the interminable len tenet) of some writers, we cannot help thinking that their readers aro in danger of being sentenced to death. —The Mobile Register of a recent date, contains the following "The Hon orable Judge of the Circuit Court was on one of his costomary sprees last week." —"What substitutes can there be for the endearments of one's sister ?,, e x . claimed Mary. "The endearments of some other fellow's sister," replied John. —Tho Bolton Post ventures the belief that "it is wrong to fly to ono extrem e to correct the other." Every dinobe. client urchin in the land will endorse that sentiment. —A hotel keeper in the Adirondacks, thus late in the season, announces that he has discovered silver—probably in pockets—the proceeds of his summer's mining. —We are surprised to here that they are talking in Virginia of building monument to John Smith. We were under the Impression that Mr Smith was still alive. —An eccentric cleogyman lately aid, in one of his sermon., that "about the commonest proof we have that a man is made of clay is the brick so ofton found in his bat." —A young gentleman palliate' hie conduct in having jilted a young lady to whom he w an Illppefred to have been engaged, by saying that her hp curled naturally and her hair didn't. —A Milwaukee woman, whose hut. band had been persecuted to death by a creditor, married the creditor Bed perse cuted him to death in leas than El months. Time sots things even. —A reader of an article in an evan gelical weekly "on converting United States five-twenties," says he longs to be a missionary in the field, and thinks he should cleave unto his flock. A Mr. William Ink, of New Hemp shire, is now 108 years (dd. If his pa rents had ev, n dreamed that ho was go ing to be so bard to rub out they would doubtless have named him Indelible, —A strong mind i■ sometimes more easily Impressed than a week one For exan3ple you cannot so wily convine a fool that you are philosopher, as you can a philosopher that you are ■ fool. —When a lady faints bite her ear. That is what a gallant youth did rq ouch • cue at Danbury, ('CO., the ether day. The effect wAa mingles] the lady recover. it With:l:oily to ho: his ear alinert in stantaneously, —A new at of the obituary itim— brief but to the point—haa boon invent ed, thue; "John smith, of New York, revolver," "G. Jinkens, of Om, third Rtory window," "Ann Junur, of New Jersey, ladanum ' —A marriage by mateblight was re. en ly ‘osumnintud in Kansas City. The squ,.. n,!, y and so was the couple, and would wait un til the lamp could be illumined The fee wee paid under a neighboring gas lamp. —Appropriate. "Strip me of the robe of pride, cloth rue with ' wore the words sung by a Louissille choir as a lady whose dress white satin and point lace, with a lung trtlri curried by a pa4e, passed up Ve aisle —A music dealer on Broadway has in his window a sentimental song thus marked. "Tty.scr haat losed and left me for 25 cents.'\, That is certainly the cheapest kind of a divorce, and leaves no necessity for going to Chicago —A committee was recently appoint ed to investigate the excessive cha.tise moot of a pus it in a Michigan public school, and reported that the punish ment was not actuated by mauve, but occasioned by an "undue api,rmnitllon of the thickness of the boy's panta loons," —lna CRSO under the Vermont liquor law at Lydon, Vermont, a witnei , cans• ed an unpleasantness in the COO rt. room by te=difying that he drank with two nun-.ne o: the law),r. rn Ow ca•e, and the juitme who was hearing It —A youth visiting a Qual,..r family inn th I, eity ma. invited 1 ,, nllllllO (0 dinner, but IkeilllPd Findffig tic c tsy very agreeable, he conclude , l hang° his mind, end so advised hi- h t, who replied, "Nay, verily, I eanina permit thee to tell a lie in my 110,e " The boy dined at a restaurant --DiAeration is the better part of valor. Tom and Author have been rude to their mnmmn um has complained to peps, who 18 le•ud eutil ng up maim Author--I Torn, here mules papa ; I Anil pretend to 15e asleep. Tom —I shan't; I Oiall get up and pot something. on. --In a recent issue of a French condo newspaper there is a very aniwong cut satirizu•g the precocity of the youth of the period. Leaning up itgain4 the door of the ball room, a lad , carevly in his teens, languidly depricates the ardor of an old gentleman who urges him to dance. "What! at my age?" ho says• —During tt heavy shower, a Now Londoner noticed n poor fellow asleep on the sidewsik. and soaked through. He gently strewed and admonished him of Ids exposure. "Go away," said the inebriate ..go a wily 11u00 , do This shower (hi, j is doing ow (hie) and the rest of the erops it (hie) darned sight of good (hle) I tell you." —A Detroit husband caught Ins wife and the faintly physician kis,ing like young lovers in the gushingest stage, and offered a few remakq, whereat the lady began to cry. The husband inquir ing tho reason, “Alie‘," replied she, "I weep heelllll3ll 3 our utter want of cord]. denee in me. He looked thoughtful.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers