The Democratic Watchman. BELLE FON 'l' I. PA UNWEDDED Oh, thou, beloved, who shiiiddia hate linen mine own, Serenely heantlful and tvin find strong, Consoler whom my life hits iniver kunst n, Sow have I mimeo(' Moe, seeking hen Mono All my Ids long Somewhere upon the 111,1 e told moot.' track 1 strayed 1)01111141, Or dal not anu for thee And No must always mow ti Inv bitter 'sok, For on this weary road no go not town Alt, woe Often with norely IL,. I end mind, When there were none tutu4.l' 01nd ,, 4itin.l, how I untie grole.d ,e it h i• :done and blind, JD the •larkno.., 10111:111K butt to 11111 'illy Itelpinl hand! For I bellele that Lon.. 11 ,, uhly 11111111 Against all nvovni, and n uh invlialcvn breath Could IMMO through pain :Ind un alarmed , Could take up poinninon+ Ihmgx and taunt he harmed, And dare even dt•nlII 'And how 011111 Love, innnorial and suldtme I wind. 'be 1110tIto ell of Its bout a •nue By any petty chance of p4101114e oit tone r Alas! my life !lax lint Ime, And Ptill 1 %salt. How ht./toilful our mingled 11104 hot] been, Had we h1111(alad 1114'11 nth, In f.i ).blll /I The Vllll lii hall a1 . ..1111,11 1 11e 10 , 1 , 111111 /11a1 .111 Sweeter beeattee nu twit had lit ell therein (tut utter truth Then all Ihr rn) rind ilk Pate e.,ntril eq 11tiere. ith to I no II 1.. 114 Led been 1101 rn,,tre along the ...hilt.. .1 11P. 1 4 Isaught cotild hate Ititroo,l un, .itik ti uu 'foul ilirtse4 Ity 111.( ipline Thi‘n this 'mending toil and ova.. Ipq.4 Had iivtur futurist Illy life, the holderlog loud Of worldly rireotosinti , ,, of r fllll , Had ..•not 1 , 0 is I , nc nrretrhrd Ref,lllB 0111 - Ilp% nra run.l WtiNre art Ilion, Lone? Far as faillirst pOie r , Baia thou, tea i %agar - 4y 11r,alnett or aI, it eiliolliti Or. glinted early 14 1111 been,' held, r Ilaelaneggirl .Itli t 1“.11.1. in gnof nod dolfs Longing for me had beer/ more titan xll tiorld Iu ti,., So proudly Lender, x.. eniltvly So WIPV MFI lilt 10,1 , 111111) 1111111n1(), More neat 1111111 HI, e.. 111.1 he, All my Ilfe through Alms! the eun's last glittitte ring Inns kt•setl 115eIttlie.t , met rilry,ttle.r. %v.!! Icy. ' , Ally', .1 t4,inuttothyvt, Aunt All the Vide y‘llll Chilly ret•t. Hut where art 'fro late•l to. late' the dark ee.x Aml the• mallet fiwletil pnile•xx xud duutl • I . • ..no“t roach thee with tint. /low I. Hut when I walk the other rut, .•I !lentil, \V tlt Intuit u. t e..11w A HUNCHBACK STORY once upon a tune, in the merry old days, there dwelt in the town of Lille, in France, a hunchbacked tailor, %et.) built., very deformed, sere bad temper ed and ert Jealous. 111 x wife wan a complete sla%e to his whims and ca rteem, and between 1,1. bad te m per and hts jealonn, her lite wax a burthen to her. They Itved ut a little narrow and Bleep street, near the tier, and the poor wile knew neither pence nor hap pinesm, Now it happened one holiday, when her lord had gone out local-mole with at party of hien.ln, that she hat ills Cons" late in the doorway, sighing am! think tag 11 her happy youth lone, when with the other village maidens, carol hog through the meadows, or at the rustic testi vain, she sang alloost from morn till etc; and groaning iii spirit an she compared it with her present weary existence, it happened that (lie Bounds of singing came to her totrh,ntol looking downward she saw on the bridge that crossed the riser three lit tie hunchbacks, tilittamtically dressed, and very much rehelitiding ear . h other, singing away as iiierrii) us al there was not an unhappy wile In the world They were evidently wandering nim stress, who sang for their livelihood, and their songs pleased her for it re minded her of the joyous days of her youth, when she hersell, with light heart and cheery voice, sang gleeful songs. Should she call them in to sing to her and join her %owe sith theirs? Iler husband would not be back lor some hours, she thought ; she heinta led and longed ; and at last she made signals to the hunchbacks to come up to the house. They promptly and gladly came , the tailor's wile mat a good pantry be fore them, gave them a stoup of wine, and then, for an hour they hed much a merry bout of tonging, and much a happy time together an that tailor's dwelling had never before kill/V/11. Then—for the hunchbacks were hearty topers—she set out to go to the hostelry for another measure of wine , she had hardly left the house before she saw her husband at the loot of the long and hilly street, making for home, and she could see by his gait that he was the worse for liquor. She fled hurriedly back in the great est dismay, for this hunchback was so furiously jealous, arid of so savage a temper, that she trembled for her file if he shotlild find a limn in the house. And to discover them there! 'Saints protect me she cried. She quickly informed the three hunchbacks of her difficulty ; and they being timid and fearful little fellows, shared her alarm. What was to be done? To go out of the house by the front door Willi now too late; and alas! there MU no back door to the }tonne. . There was, however a large cup board in the room, with three corm partrnents, each big enough to hold one of the men, and they were cram med in by the frightened wi(e, and bidden by the cloths and garments of the tailoring trade which were kept in dhe cupboard—she promising to re defuse them as soon as her husband Jett the house again. They were scarcely concealed, and the doors closed, when the husband entered. •What's the matter with you ? what are you frightened about?' he cried, in la high, shrill, angry voice. 'Nothing, my love,' she said, trem. , bling; 'l'm sure I've no reason to look pale • , • 'There's a reason for yon to look red, then said he, giving her earned, cull on her ear, and laughing hoarsely at his rough wit. Volt may tie sure the three hanch backe were heartily glad they were out 01 this cruel man's way, and they all three quaked, timorous souls its they were, lekt he should discover them. The bewildered and frightened wile vastly tried several little feminine de vices to induce her lord to return to his tellow-mrouserm; but he Mopped and stopped, and supped and supped, and rcold( d and scolded, and sneered and I.iieeted, and jangled and jangled, t II darkness set in, and the poor wile WAS almo , t beside her4ell ; %elide as tit 'the hunchbacks, shut tip in that sti ffing pri , ott all the time, one trembles to think of them. At last, alter Vespers, Master Tailor struts out again. and when lid was lalrly out or night, the distracted no mon inn 10 the cupboard, and with shaking fingers opened the first com partment. •Come I' she cried ; 'my husband ( No misuser. ' I lurk, quick I' idio cried; 'are you rthiveli r 1111.%t er She hoe awal the cloths and gar ments and the poor little Hunchback, NlllllllOl. Itne, fell dead in her arms! Lk.- a a moan in a dream, she It %et islibN 014101 the other compart iin•iito, and in another Ilionient, knew 01,11 'he %%11.-Alone In the home it Ih three dead men, of whose murder she might be accused ! qlood 11 11 Virgin Blessed Virgin!' she screamed, and fell on her knees in ler for and supphcntlon, `What a iiiim h.rtane to come upon me, only because I svpdied to hear a little fillile! NV hat us ill become 4,1 ? The Lord delver me from hunchbacks I II this is hut ered, the Provost, who hangs men and brains women as if they were 1.411-IP , of the field, will not spare me! how unhappy I am !' Al , l 1.111. 'M111'111(/, ri a went to the door, and found pitting upon the step ii. Stmt %oder earner of the tows, SO ill; lino ing nothing to drink, snot StII F•larittg at the moon. A midden 1 , 1e3 Mriiek the hickletoi woman 'llo! tor trend, ' fm , l Phe , voti lo toe a ser, ? •Yell' an . 11%111 pity me,' 1.11111 thi ilOlll SI Irlluw I II gi‘e y1.)11 it siker croon !=ll=lllllll onus( I do?' 'l'll tell ton There has come min net house a villainous little hunch• hack, to rob ;tll4l perlltipli murder me 111 the night. Ile hid lionselt nr (Ile cupboard, and their he has died like a poisoned rat. Now, all I want is to get rid of the hod): 'ls that all? 101,111 the sturdy hut simple water-earner. 6 1 . 11 noon du that for you. (love me a sack.' The sack was found, the dead Mal/ packed and hoisted on to the strong shoulders of the water-carrier, and iii a very short tone the poor hunchback was again on the bridge where, a few hours previously, lie had been singing to merrily; a peaty plunge, and good ke doomed hunchback ! Meanwhile the good dame, matured by ilecest.itv, the mother (II iii%enlion, had placed Hunchback Number Two in the compartment just vacated by Number (Inc ! and when the simple minded carrier C.MI//C back Mr hi. crown, 'lhl. no!' she cried , oil have let him escape, and he in bai through the help of evil spirits doubt team, in his cupboard again!' ?' said he, ecratching thick head. 'Look 1' said she, opening the cup board. 'There lie is sure enough Well, to be sure, that's odd. I surely threw him Into the river, and deep enough by the bridge there. lie must have hopped out again when I turned away. 'Well I'll drown him this time I' and taking up Number Two, he marched oil again, nut at all pleased with his double trouble. And now for Number Three. The dame dragged the dead body into the kitchen, and placed it in a sitting pos ture near the tire; and she had hardly achieved her task belore the carrier reiprned with his empty rack, and de manded his pay. 'I will give it tee willingl! I' else cried ; 'hut first, wilt not thou drink a measure of cider?' 'That will I !' cried the water car rier, who wan aihir,t with hie labore. 'Prithee go into the kitchen and draw for thyself." Promptly lie went, and promptly enough he allowed with wonder, to Nee that slippery hunchback back again before him, and warming Ma obatinate toes, that would not be drowned at the glowing tire. 'Tail of the devil he cried, and the dame, with well.feigned fear, ran into the kitchen, and recently added her cries of alarm to his. At lam, recovering 1118 fright, the honest carrier cried out: 'Never fear I it shall never be said that lean Tresmomillart bath been overcome by an accursed hunchback I I'll drown you my friend, this time, be sure on't, end I warrant you shall lie at the bottom of the river like a dead dog and, angrily seizing hint, lie strode off for the bridge, and for the third time cast his enchanted burthen into the flood, watching the waters to see if he re-appeared. As may be readily credited, lie did not come up again, and our water-car rier returned to the house, growling but contented. 'There is your crown good man,' said the dame; 'and well have you earned it.' And indeed, 'twee with a thankful heart she paid him, glad to be freed from her perilous plight. The wager-carrier went lumbering down the street, musing as far as in him lay, on the strange adventure that had befallen him, and crossing himself repeatedly, as he thought of the im pish hunchbacks. Ile had just reached the foot of the long street, when, whom should he spy coming jauntly toward him, in the best of humor, and singing lutitily, hut the tailor husband of, the good dame on the hill! 'Horns and nails of the (thrill' sud denly stopping to stare at the appari tion. 'Three tiings,hunehback of hell, have I thrown diet! Into the river, and three times hest thou come up again Thinkest thou to float arid defeat flue like this? II Ido not finisli the this time, call me not Jean! I'll break illy villainous arms and legs, we'll see then if thou wilt swim I' And leaping upon the astonished lit• tle tailor, he did belabor anti maltreat hum with HO much fury and vigor, that very 80011, there was no lile in burn, and so uputt44y was hlr dispatched by the angry Jean, that be had not even tune to cry for help. tip he went on the sturdy shoulders of the water-car rier and in n moment more lie splash ed into the lark and rolling waters, `For the fourth tulle thou accursed goblin cried Jean, who bad never in his lire so wrestled with tine Evil One, as he thought. ,Agate lie wended his way to the 'What accit thou wani?' mid the dame ; I not pay thee thy crown?' 'That dulet thou ; but be came back again I ' 'Who?' 'The (lemon hunchback ' I ioet him al the loot of the street, coining here, as it seemed ; and I knew then that he wits an imp, and that it I did not van• guild' him, he would dehlroy we! so I Zell iiill,ll hiin 100th and had, and beat and broke lion, and strangled hitn, and drowned thin - drowned hint over again ; and I swear by lily patron saint that this tone lie is dnue for, nod that he will never trouble thee again I' Then the dame comprehended that It was her cruel little husband who was thus disposed of, and 111 her heart she grieved not, its indeed why should she? 'My friend,' said she to .1 can, '1 gave thee one crown for thy trouble with the first three hunchbacks; give thee three crowns for thy trouble with the last one and site gave hint the money, which well contented hint, and very well contented wile the dame In three have alter that time, she was happy again in her own village, end In another year she had no villain on., bad tempered hunchback for a hiodtand, but a good•lookitig, straight ed peasant ; aid they bought bide of land and a cottage with the tailor s savings arid lived happy ever alts rward, though the new husband always wondered why his wife would never cross a certain bridge, when they sometimes Journeyed to and from the ancient town of Lille And the Milometer testifietti that this in a true story. A SAD LITTLF. STOKI ---A very curi ous incident, illustra , i,e of the power which can be exercised over the ani mal creation by kindness and carelul training, occurred but a lew days ago at Scottsville, Kentucky 'Flue sister of ollicer Harry Mansfield , t boi city, had raised a mocking bird %%loch she taught to go and come to her call, nod 10 return for all the kinkness be plowed lip on it, it exhibited a peculiar 1011,111e1.1 for her. Last Monday week \llls Man,lield war taken ill , find, to while away to tedllllll 0; the sick room, slur 11/1.1 the little pet brought to her leedwltlV, and day and nu.cht It cheered r r uih its r041,t carols, bringing to mind many happy thoughts Of field HO,l MeadOli.Nloll4llllo. 1(1111 song. As her illness grew more alarming, and day alter day brought no relict from Buttering, the warblings of the little songster rather served to annoy than please lier, and so, turning on her pit low, she said to Iwo, 'ltirdie, you worry Inc.' Strange to say, the words seemed to be understood, tor lin mediately the song was hushed, and the bird retired within itsell, lie it were. tin the next day the la ly died, leaving, it would seem, a command of silence 111•011 the lord, which will never be bro ken, tor, although several days have elapsed since, and every Mort has been made to induce him to sing, be refuses to respond with song to any lips but those of lON once loved mistress. - Noshrtlie Banner. I )ISCONTLNT.—Theltiirnethate causes offlincontent are numberless. Some of those who seem to have all that earth can bestow station, ed uration, friends and talent, are the leant sailellied Irides fifeatfacrrt then, A Incwet , nu garment, a broken engagement, a alight disap prantafent, are otillictent to destroy their peace of mind, and retailer them slaved to vexation and chagrin. The main cause ot discontent, however, is always to be found within. It Ilan ate origin an selfishness I>treg,tly we for get ourselves in our efloks for others, we strike at the very root of all die content. The truly benevolent, loving man in hellion) tormented by vain re greta at has own circumstances, and he whir inward]) repines and chafes at but situation, and who as burnoosed by the spirit of discontent, calf Ili flu starer watt tree 6lntaell from the chains that enslave lama, than by turning his thoughts and energies to some good work of others. There are 110 bless. Ingo, however rich, that discontent will riot convert into evils, and no however severe, that serenity and vir tue natty not transform into blessings. A WrSTICHN preacher explained the passage through the Red Sea by say ing that the Israelites crossed the ice. An auditor interrupted, remarking there is no ice under the equator.-- 'Sir,' said the excited preacher, 'this happened thousands of years before the age of geographers, and before there was any equator I I think, brethren and sisters, I have answered the gen tleman completly.' Tuxes is no need of praising the present style of ladies' dresses, for they are 'puffed' enough already. A Child Mangled by Dogs In the tan yard of Ernest Blerach, itaysdie Cincinnati Enquirer, of Au gust Ott* t rteen dogs, some grown and sounq f grown, have been- bar borq fOr so e time past. Fed upon the 404, 1 w ch is plentiful and foal in eachsll id e, these animals had be come fielceepven than their breed—a cross between the powerful Newfound land and the brutal 'bull'—would have marteAliem. Red mouthed, gaunt, and horrible, it is a wonder that such a pack could have existed in the midst of a...reit/011TM communitYso long as they did and riot have been sooner heard. Last night at six o'clock Wil• lie Blerech, a bright seven year old son of the well to do owner of the lan yard, aril, criminally careless master of the hounds, left his grandfather's and started homeward, intending to call for his lather en route. lie enter ed the tan-yard unmindful or unaware that the employers had left it to the care of its night guardians, thirteen dog harpee. lie had nearly reached the centre 01 the place, and had called for his lather, when long, keen fangs wig thrust into him from behind, and he was dragged by a large dog literal ly into the loft 01 one of the sheds. other dogs cooling to the assistance of their fellow. At the taste of blood the fierceness of the huge mongrels caught tire. The boy was dragged again down the steps, and rolled in the filth of the yard until all semblance 01 humanity had lett hum Black, bleeding, and ilplig, he still clung with hie face downward to the earth with the enter gy ,i 1 despair. It was nt tins moment that the neighbors became aware of what was transpiring. A bold man sprang over the tenet , to the rescue, but was immediately driven out by the now maddened and terrible dogs. The men went in with pitcl.f.‘ o, ..s, and pee ple driving along the avenue stopped and went to the rescue with knives and pistols. It was brief and bloody work. The d ogs were slain to jhe last puppy, lint not before a strong 111/111 bail carried what was left of Willie to his grandlather's. hero lie was re ceived by his grandmother, who wash ed liiin to the likeness of a boy. The flesh had been chews from his scalp; there were great, ugly gashes in his lorehead, cheeks and II pm. Brent piec es at skin and &eh hung from the back of los head Ghastly holes, their edges lacerated with tooth-niarks were under his arms; his legs and other parts of fits body Lure wounds beyond description. And yet he lived No vital had been reached. lie could even tell brokenly bow the attack had be gun. A True Story TRAGIC FATE 01 A MINING SUCERIN TENIp/iNT. A correspondent of the New York 7' , 1 finite writing trout Nevada, tells tilts story 'On the southern outskirts of (lit village of Grass Valley is a well worked and prosperous quartz none. It wax first owned by a company that employed an an agent for its develop meta one of its principal stockholders an Irishman of rare intelligence and integrity lie spent tedious and ails months in 'prospecting' for the lead, 1401110.1111YM elated with the un mistakable indication, and again, de pressed and discouraged at the lack of filleCelol. Thus tie labored until he had exhausted the funds of the Company and his own private means, and it be C/11111• necessary to make it new assess ment upon the stockholders, or aban don the enterpr, , e Morbidly venal live to the tat , r:11 suspicions which either clef might it skett its to his Judgment or II". s , he resolved to work for a New die% - lonizer, when, if no better Ind. sin.. appeared, he would make for himself a qurck exit out of the world lie laid the resolu tion before his a ife. who fully approv• ed of it, and agreed to share his desti ny. The time elapsed without satis factory results, and the man and wile accepted the alternate without a ques tion. Poison wan obtained and admin istered to the three children and the wife The husband and the father entirely watched them through their death struggles and affectionally closed their eyes then .leliberately sat down and wrote out for lees business associ ate a clear and lull statement of his Operations and final resolution Ile ex pressed unflinching faith ni the ulti mitte 'nieces. of the venture, it eta cient means and energy were used, but acknowledged that he hail riot cur age to call for further contributions. Alter finishing bin statement, he ad jested his papers, books, took 1118 qui eting draught and followed his family to that country where it wi preen wed there are no quartz mutes, and no joint stock companies to work, them. lit course the story has a sequel, and the. is it: After decently burying the bodice, the company went to work at the mine, following the hints of the de ceased agent, and within a week the lead was struck, and the mine proved to be and is now one of the richest in the State. The best part of the stns.) is that it is literally true. —'Mary, dear, are you not well ? Why don't you come down ntaire 1' "Oh, don't bother me, ma ; I've got one eyebrow blacker than the other, and can't find a pencil, and it won't wash off , nd I don't know what to do at all.' day, friend, your horse is a little contrary, is he not?' No sir.' 'What makes him atop, then ?"Oh, he's afraid somebody 'II say whoa,and he shan't hear it.' --An Oregon toast, over a glans of the ardent : 'Here's what makes as wear old clothes.' —A Georgia paper offers to pub• lisp original poetry at nine dollars a line. —The following sensible remarks are from the World of the .P4tb Ten days ago two little bays placed obstructions on the Erie Railroad to throw a tram otY the track, but for tunately the rascally attempt did not succeed. The two young. scoundrels were arrested, but made their escape on the way to jail, in Pike Bounty, in this State. .The paragraph we reprint is part 151 . the World's article lb re view of the oll'en9e : Possibly the highly stimulating life we Americans lead is at the bottom of that juvenile depravity which finds so signal an illustration in this railroad case, Our girls are little women, and what sad little women in too many cases no man whose business takes him at night into our streets can fail to painfully testify. Piteous young laces that should be quietly at rest with a smile of innocence upon them leer invitation through haggard eyes. Our boys are little men, and what ruf fian little men everybody has had frequent occasion to know. Child hood, we say, is out of date, and with too much reason make that complaint. The spirit of the age leaps from the cradle to maturity, Tmday it is a toddling wee thing and tomorrow one of ourselves, and Mien wotse than the worst of us. For this depravity there is but one just rule, and that the one we have quoted. Were it only wrong to themselves that the criminal young did it might do to talk moral suasion, reformatory measures, and so on; but when the bad boy touches the trigger the pistol will kill as certainly as if held by a man. On the private side let philanthropy, conitnisseration, long sullering, 110 as they will, but when touching the public ii,ellare the pun ishtnent of crime 'oust tall impartially m all able to conceive and execute of ence. There ir, unfortunately, too much uth in ‘vhat. the Woad says about the " highly cumulating life Ameri cana lend " being nt the bottom of juvenile depravity. American life in not only 1411iiiiilmling, but it IN intenaly artificial and fake. Everything 19 forced. Itoyn and girla are forced into men and women before they have got ten half way through their boy hood and girlhood. Seemingly, children .re becoming fewer and 'Sewer every year. We meet but few boys and girls, but an abundance of little men and women Children are taught to dress as grown people, and tootle their manners and habits without regard to their being good, bad, or inddlerent.— They are pushed into society before they are barely in t`leir teens, and at tend parties, balls and pm rocs at an age when their mothers were in their pinafores. There are no domestic nursuries now a-days, in fact they are riot required since children are brought up in the world for the world. Young misses of ten are gallanted on the street and at public assemblies by Joun g gents of twelve with quite as much sang-froid as persona of mature years. Boys and girls are wise beyond their day and generation, and come of them can instruct their seniors in the way of the world. There is no dmiht that our mode of life mirmilities (-time, and de%elopes the evil 10 the young at a much earlier age than in 11. e last gen eration. ()O h° other 11% 1. , 011•• , 1 ,, e.tr we Reeollllt for the great nu•fea , e ul )011thild depravity. Thin has in creased to a really alarming degree of late years, among b.ith sexes. Ali our reformatory Ineflitutionm are lull, with a constant demand for more -- Children are now found e001011t(Ing every kind of crime, from simple ler cency to murder. Parents should take uotice of this condition of 0111,1;4 and satisfy theinsi It en whether the bon, and stimulating life which Ao'l'o'lll, lead does does riot lie at the bottom of CURIOSITIES OE 1.11 Eft 171, RE. --A PRISONER S LETTER. Not a great while Fillet, SANS the New Orleann itcayttne, one lbittiel Litekloirg wan coninniiird to the Parish Prommcharg ed with brutally ill•treating his wile. The en Idelife itt the cane certainly de veloped a %cry strong crone stgain4t the ae.mmetl, and the eollri, rn emineeptence. was but little ollnpo.ed 10 he lenient with him The liEle , ooer, huw eier, bore the punishment heroically, and not until )enierday tiiil he show signs of contrition, flint was evinced in the subjoined torte, add !rennet' to the Recorder ••ju,1 1 ,, Your Honor -I ;tin xl our least theee leave rile 1.4 1.11- , •11 .111fljp• II n ,1 , 1 lal H! k le too eii 011 11l r. and man can t kee l , an, Judge: von never could , the,, iet nee out, Judge, to go and Nee loy wife; dhe needs a husband a kordneert, and nobody but your honor or rite can do that. Judge, forgive nee; have 'mercy on lily gold, or the good Itedeenter will never have aii , i.:y ~ a . ronrn. It ain ' t much an count, I know, Judge, but We all I've got. Judge, how would you like to have your wife waritin' you, and you can't come? Jura think of that, Judge, arid turn me out. Your affectionate friend, "DANIEI. 1.01 Knua(l." —The ecentric prracher, Lorenzo Dow, was once stopping at a hotel in New York, kept by a man named Bueh. Among the guest.. was a Gen eral Root. They oceasionaßy made themselves merry at Lorenzo's ex pence. One day General Root began upon him thus: 'Mr, I).w, you tell us a great deal about heaven, Now I want you to tell me plainly, what sort of a place hen, el. ' With imperturbable gravity the preacher replied : Heaven, gentle- men, is a smooth, rich, :fertilet.coun• try ; there isn't a bud& or a root in it, and there never will be.' The Root and Bush subsided, and Mr. Dow wasn't further troubled. --Oh, Nanny, wilt thou gah wi me? as the fellow eat" when he was trying to steal a goat. Alt Sorts of Paragraphs A blighted bee•ing—an empty hive Tho best thing out—out of debt. "Husband, I must have come ohanga to-day." A. social glass to which Indies aro ad dieted—the mirror, The newswepor compositors' business is "picking up." Fairy-naccous food for children_. The Arabian Nights.' Sugar of lead—A vory comidnuonta ry after-dinner speech low to make both ends inent—ask tLn butcher to take out the hones. When may a man be considAred a book ?—Whon he is n tome The oaring of groan corn dors not wnye render the voice Auld, You can't get blood from a stone, but you can got money from a brick. "Well, stay at home and take care of tho children; that will ho change enough." Atarringe—an eller upon which man Inge his pocket book and woman lwr love letters. Good re , e?liitionii are like ladle, wile taint in n lecture room—they should be carried out. IT•lins Just boon disc..ver. , ,l that noth ing will makn a Wlllllllll SO mild 1111.11,1'4 fur her niglitenpaftur the lamp t. put ,oit A man qent Inv aon to F (tidy law. le. eau.. he Raid he was such n tre , hy lit tin rascal, and ho wantod to honor In, talent At Long Branch the Mhor dalno young girl nikeil another t.i watt , wltlt her " I nileoil I won ' t Wan the reply, "what do I wont nnothor girl htigv,.lig mo for ?' A girl that Mrs. Jones, a farnter'4 wife ni 1%,a. nectlaut, says "1 believe t ; , t thn terolerelt hearted boys in the wortl can't tell one ~r 'ern to Itch a pail I water but he'll burst out crying "I wish you had linen Eve," said an urchin to a stingy old aunt, prover-ideal for her meanness. "Why so'? "liceitu,, said he "you would haV(l eaten all the apple, instead of dividing It " A young gentleman who haul ju=t marrned n 'ado beauty says she w , l 1 have been taller, hut she is made of h precious materials that naturo couhlri t 'Mord it. An exelisinge sa3s "ft is not ~ twat, f , r young men to stay a ft,r o'circk when visiting young Ind. , . tior devil says he never noticed ant dlf lerenee m the limo after ten o Ile rays it's good any time, A Virginian who put his faith in a fortune-teller, chopped rip is %alm/0 calf to And is ring supp,,,.l t., litiva beer swallowed by the air • I 11,0, family have nonce lived on veil of about stl is pound A Western paper, In reply b , the query of a subscriber, why it d. , n t have more "until, in it,' sit), 11 don't debire to go through the 'like it rabid ewn I fIO, v nnpring at en. r) thing and everybody " A certain caravan orator nt a fa t, after a long yarn dencripti‘e of a hr., ~ to be been imide, generluly with "Step in gentlemen, ,ter my word for it, you will be highly JS lighted when you come out " %V hen the Provldenen .lournal cussing the que4tion as to how 4, a be tired on, pays "11. th,t,k that under such circurn.titner+ ceases to be a virtu°, after a scccr.l finch, and a not much of u ‘irtuc the II rrt.. lump!„ habits A gentlemen fr. , u, Boot n, on a vigil to tits fricrul ur, th country, speaking on the tunes, ob. ro , d that hos wife had lately expended fifty dollars for a habit ittb friend "lion, In the country, we don't e l:ew our wt vex to get into such habit', Ono Sunday recently a MrdterrlA preacher in lowa advised the •cdr r• mortify Satan by giving their prw.lry to Lie church the following Sabbath evening The result was IL gal vrtudrd watch and three brass finger ring! •rThey are a Mean set Or bintivr•, ' • A al the parson Mr , Pauline Burnham, a rich En glish lady, lost by the wreck of the Stearn ship Anglo Salon, near Newrwthdland, in 1861, a valuable arid very IMP h lolled ring The other day it wa- fund ut the entrails of a fish by n St .I , hr , fisherman, who recrolfl,l fnuu the ..wner $2.-r0 reoltund, of coon, do , 1 n.'"ng lady said n pr, ttv good thing th , • oldn't evening She has many atilt INT. a mong the limbs of the law, and on bring asked how she had escaped heart-whole , supposed It was owing to the flirt that, nin n multitude of coun,elm a there Is safety " Ills purpose. A fellow who WAS caught recently with a bag full of pm odes, centrrhits and other burglarious unplimenls, WILI asked "what he was doing with such a kit as that? Ile re plied that he wa, only going to "make proposals for some government bond" During a line starlight evening lately a thrc••-year old philosopher, after silent and apparently profound survey cif !he heavens, asked his mother, ab ruptly, where the stars came lass M amnia replied : "I don't know where the stars 0111111 from " Well, you bet I do. The moon laid 'em " John Smith is as unhiquitout and many-lived as ever. In looking over our exchangat,wedlseaveuhnclahn was recently drowned in Now'rrlenns , died in et lit at St Paul ; was liaag.i for nteitltrilz in Littln 11,,ck, was senlgleil to dentli w (An.lnontl:, brokn los neck by it full in Charlatan. A dandy or twonty-f ix having boon termed an "old bachelor," appealed to an elderly gentleman to deittdo whether he should bo call .d old or not, giving his "Twenty-six I" said the elderly gen' tlemen, "it is owing to how you take it. —Now, for a man it is young enough, but for a goose it is rather old."
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers