The DefiocratiC Watchamn. Bet,LsroNT E. PA A WIFEINSECRET. 'The Lawrencee are going abroad,' Mid Robert Dana to his young wife CMG evening. 'I met Tom today, and he said he and Carry would sail on the 26tb, and the - furniture be sold at auc tion' 'Oh, how we shall mins them I and what a pity to have plat handsome old furniture scattered' among strangers! We have had mans happy times there, Ro'bert,' I 'Yes, Annie; was there I first raw you, do you remember; vou were play. tug chess on that old Chinese chew• table, so absorbed that you did not see me come in ; and I stood wondering who that little maid in blue could be. I don't like to have that table sold at auction, dear; I wish it would occur to Carry to send it to ue as a farewell present.' That would be very nice; but Koehn is not at all romantic, she has no 'idea bow or why we value it.' 'I• suppose it I offered to buy It, Tom would not accept any pay ; and then we should feel as if we had begged present.' 'Yes and, besides, we cannot afford it, Robert.' 'Flow much is it worth 'lt must have cost a hundred dollars when it was new ; but I presume it will go for fifty, as it is somewhat de faced. We must not think of it,though, +-dear. You know the last of our ',Usu ry-fund' went for the Dickens reading, and we agreed to have no more treats till fall. I dare say we should not play very often if we had it—reading aloud is so much nicer.' Thus the brave, conscientious little woman turned away from the tempt ing theme, and it was not resumed be tween them, Annie Dana, however, bad a great fund of that tough quality which is now blamed as 'obstinacy,' then praised as 'firmness.' The more tape told herself the chess-table was un attainable, the more did a persistent 'toner voice reply, 'I must have it But how? Dozens of schemes occur red to her, but none that seemed prac ticable. When ehe awoke in the night, the weary question flashed back, and with it, like an inspiration, its answer. She would write a story for the Magazine, and so earn the needful money. Had she not at school, sever al years before, sent two or three anony mous stories to a country weekly, just for the frolic of it, and had they not they been printed! To be sure, they were not paid for. She would almost have scorned money then, so delicious ly sufficing was it to eve her own words iq print. But there must he the nor did reality of payment now ; and how delightful to surprise Robert with the table, show him her article, and enjoy his appreciating praise! But before this dizzy climax could be reached, much must be done. What should she write about? When find time? How bid for the table? And all with out Robert's knowledge? Absorbed in these questions, she appeared sadly absent during breakfast, greatly to her husband's surprise and mystification. After she had put two spoons in his saucer, asked for butter when already supplied, and poured maple syrup over her steak, he began to be alarm e d, iii aimed on feeling her pulse, and inquir ed if she bad slept well, Annie dis claimed sickness, but admitted that her night bad been restless; and final. ly, to please him, promised to take a nap during the day. Nei•er hissing concealed any thing from //MS before, the weight of a secret was gar from pleasant; but she consoled herself by thinking how well it would all end. For the first time since she knew hint, she was glad to haste Robert go, so ea ger was she to be free to plan, perhaps to write her story. Her usual duties about the house were faithfully per. formed ; but the outline of a romance was flitting through her head all the time, arid she was glad when free at last to sit down at her desk. For an hour her pencil Hew busily ; ideas thronged at her bidding ; words came freely to express them. The first sentence only troubled her. Five or six beginnings were made only to be scored out ; this seemed too formal, thatjoo abrupt, another too sentimen tal. She feared she must resort to the charming old formula, 7C/flee upon a time." Brit the right vvonls carile at last, and then all went oh bravely. till a neighbor came in, and the already beloved heroine had to be exchanged for Robert's afghan and every day chat. Then manse other interruptions and duties ; no more writing that day The promised attempt at a nap occur red about half an hour before Robert's return, having been entirely forgotten till then ; awl though Annie lay on the sots, with her eyes conscientiously closed, for hilly fifteen !ninnies, her thoughts were on her heroine all the time, and once she sat up and made pencil memoranda on the back of a letter, hastily pocketed as her hus band's step was heard, By the second night her plot was fully sketched in her mind, and it only remained to put it upon paper. Sometimes a whole day would pass, and not a moment of time could she find to write in, though exactly in the mood for it.. Again, she would have leisure, but an unconquera ble aversion to her pen; and if she tried to rally her powers by reading what was already written, it sounded like arrant nonsense; certainly !insane editor would accept it. The native persistency of her character, however, enabled her to finish her task, in deli aims of many interruptions and die couragements, did the• rough draft of her story was comepleted in two weeks. It was a funny...looking affair, on no less then twenty.three pieces_ of paper —half sheets and whole sheets, backs of envelopes and concert programmes ; white, brown and tinted paper ; some in pencil and some in ink—e, most dis reputaffe%oaley'A.Zerier-sb e w hap- Ppy lit rr nas wled the ast li t s ightened her cramped shoal ptmulAd , tkr,,tifti,r b k. froto % is, her flush Olitips ~ 'Done at rikt, I' '7 AI. i ' ly Win 8:1 biti weathtalgee lt t ie efo m i t i,ctipy it promptlp,, Ite as.lo: n her neat pages Idleh , 0 'iiiiii p ,Sestd On the pi wt. jie nervouely ciushed the 3dBinto ilea Airittiblio, and was just turning the key as her ' husband entered i but she looked so guilty and confused that he exclaimed : 'Llqw scared you look, Annie I Did you !tike me for a burglar?' 'Oh, no; but arn't you earl) , ? There's no bad news, is there?' 'No, no, little woman; nothing of the kind. Been writing to mother? She'll be glad to hear from you. Are you going to let me read your letter?' Annie was in the closet getting his slippers, so he did not see her troubled face as she made some evasive answer, and changed the subject. Robert re ferred no more to her writing, and An nie believed his suspicions were not ex cited—that he would think of it no more. This was far from being the case, however. The day before the Lawrences sailed, Annie mailed her precious MS., under the nom de plume of 'Cynthia Sulli van.' She was very uneasy on her er rand to the post-office, for fear some one might suspect her mission, and was glad to start on her way home ward, thinking hertielfunseen ; but she was mistaken, for although her hue band's office was in another part of the town, he Mtn` her, and wondering at her strangely-agitated face, his jeal ous heart instantly suggested that she came from the direction of Tom Law rence's office, as Tom had been an old end ardent admirer of hers. But he sought no explanation,and grew moody and sullen; his wife attributing his conduct to his old enemy, the dyspep sia. As days went on she had her own inward anxiety to hear t for no reply came from the editors." Every other day she inquired at the poet-oftice for 'Cynthia Sullivan,' but without sue cella, till, at last, during the third week of suspense, an envolope bearing that name was actually handed out to her, Well was it that the postmaster was boxed in behind high wooden barriers, or he must have observed Mrs. Dana's strange agitation over the letter. She lost is/1 sense of the ground beneath her feet as she hurried through the vil lage, and out on a by-road, where,seat• ed in a gap of the wall, behind a tan gle of clematis vines and barberry bushes, she read, through happy tears, these beautitul words: 'Mrs. Cynthia Sullivan: lll•tuin :—Your MS.,•Stella's Summer by the Sea,' is accepted for —Magaaine, and we herewith in• close for it our check for forty-seven dollars and fifty cent... Yours, etc.' There was the crisp, orange-lettered check, the more than realization of her wildest hopes I She felt that these ed store were her dearest friends, and longed to do something to express her gratitude to them. It was almost too good to be true I and, as she walked happily home, one hand in her pocket clasping the wonderful letter, she fear ed she should wake and f3nd it all a dream. Going in, she found on the ta ble her hueliand's hat and an unopened letter, with a Liverpool postmark, rut dresned to her in Tom Lawrence's well known handwriting. 01 course it was Iron, Carry ; she never would direct Tier own letters. But where was lto bert 7 She went through parlor and Kitting room seeking him, tearing open the letter mean wilds. Not finding him, she was about going up stairs, but, remembering the precious check in her pocket, turned back, smiling happily as she recalled he contents, and locked it safely in her desk, quite unaware that Robert was watching her from behind the bay-window cur. tarns. Yea, he bad seen her come in, more joyously than (or weeks past, with Tom's letter open in her hand; seen her look carefully about the rooms, hastily secreted a billet in her desk and pocket the key. She never used to lock that desk, or have any se crete. To be cure, she showed hitn the letter afterward—but Mai was from Carry ; the inclosure, so carefully hid den, was doubtless from Torn. And yet, while all his worst fears were dine revived, A ante's ey es were so pure an I true, her manner so loving and haiiiii, he could riot doubt her lung. After a night of reflection he resolved that it she hod a i•eeret if mould not be en WI WOrlii) one ; lie would trued her and respect it. it her heart ever did re gret its choice, he would win her back by patient tenderness; for he well knew that if man had a guardian an gel, his little wife was his. Now followed many happy weeks, during which Annie showed no ab sence of mind, made no mysterious journeys, received no private letters. Robeers resolutions were easily kept, and he almost forgot the perturbations of tire mummer. Coming home by an earlier trait) than usual, one frosty eve ning in November, as lie turned up the hull from the station he saw his wile, a hew rode before him, coining from the post-office with a letter in her hand. She went slowly home ward, reading as she walked, too much absorbed to hear him behind tier. 'What can interest her so?' he wonder ed. Just then the envelope, a com mon yellow one, fell from her hand and fluttered down the icy path to ward him. lie picked it up, intend ing to laugh at her carelessness, but one lance at the address drove All col or frm his face, all jesting from his min . 'lira. Cynthia Sullivan,' in a ~ staling% masculine hand. For a ma meet Robert stood still ; the Novem tier night seemed to close dark and cold around him with a chill that penetrat ed to his heart, Looking up at last, he saw his wife's light figure for an in• stant on top of the bill clearly traced , against the lowering sky, then It turn ed into their own avenue and disap peared. Sintrant•like, the husband stood listening to • demon wfitki_n Ni 4. Every half-forodien, Mypply t•Mie as an `l*.usation etlirietiOaoeit (An .nle, carry al good, reeoltitlone lisvaY like a figod. 'A ee4et dorreepondebve I A Asigned nesnel — 'What, count pign?' do hateful envelope in 'Ais Isind, he tingle fiercely on, de ter Mined to ebow to her, and. de- MAnd be told all. 'Tie teach*, htlf gate just as Annie entered the Woo. The light from within gleamed down the path a moment, then the door 008- eti, and all was dark and cold. 'She does well,' muttered Robert, bitterly •, 'she shut me out of her con fidence long ago.' Suddenly the door re-opened. An nie came quickly out and down the avenue toward him. Does she see him? Oh no I She is searching for the lost envelope. Her husband drew back into the shadow of the hedge, watching unseen her flurried motions. 'Mimi. shall I do t' she exolairned,in s low, troubled tone, close beside him. Hie jealous mood swept over him like a wave ; he stepped suddenly out before her, saying, in a cold, hard voice, as he thrust forward the enve lope. 'Perhaps this is what you Lave lostr His unexpected appearance, passion ate gesture and rude tone gave Annie a terrible shock. Starting backward, catching her breath with a R app of fright and pain, she lost her f.otitig the icy slope, and fell down an em• bankment of several feet on to the car riage drive below. Terrified and re morseful, Hobert was beside her in stantly, only to find her lying white and silent, on her aide, her left arm broken under her. Neither of them ever knew very clearly what happened during the next half hour. Robert took his wife into the house. The doc tor came, set her arm, prescribed for a disposition to fever, and ordered entire quiet. Annie scarcely spoke. The doctor was surprised to see one usually so bright and brave now apparently en tirely subdued by pain. How could the good man know that the husband, whose loving concern was shown in every look and movement, had been the cause of the accident and of the mental distress, beside which the physical pain as was nothing 1 Annie had been perfectly aware of her bus band's state of mind when lie sprang out upon her. She knew that he suspected her of something wrong; that he was angry, had prejudged her cruelly. With all her sweetness of temper and warmth of heart, she had a good share of per sonal dignity and womanly pride; and to be condemned unheard, on a mere mystery of appearance, was more than she could well brook. She was too much hurt to offer any explanation. How could she when he had asked none? No ; she lay perfectly still, submitting passively to all they did. Robert was more wretched than she, for he felt guilty. The white patience of his wile's face, her silence and the bandaged arm across ber breast re proached him horribly. He showed the doctor out, and, returned to the chamber. Annie did not look up.— Martha, the cook, who was very fond of her young mistress, wee sitting be side her. --It you please, Mr. Dana, I'll stay with her while you has your tea. It's all ready below, Sir.' Annie-- did not speak ; so he want down and made a forlorn attempt at a melt' flow empty the room was with out itm queen I how utterly desolate! Ile iiept trying to think what he had said in that wild moment at the gate. Ile knew he had called her by every loving name while he was bringing her in, but he could not remember that she had returned one kiss, one loving word. She had only said, 'Take care, Roberti it is broken and afterward, 'Don't mind ; it does not hurt much ;' but her eyes had been a•erted, and her voice bad a repressed tone he had ne•er heard in it before. By-and by he went back, sending Martha away. Annie's eyes were phut, but lie lelt sure she was not sleeping. her cheeks were brightly flushed, her breathing rapid. 'She is IC unhappy as I am,' thought Robert.. 'flow can she have the per- Tect repose the doctor ordered till we understand each other and are recom cited? This silence is killing ue both. Somebody mum speak first.. It is she who Iv in the wrong, surely it is ; and Jet why can not I look at her and be lieve it? Why do I feel myself the guilty one?' He leaned over his wife and studied her sweet lace eagerly, as those thoughts agitated him. She felt him near, and vet how distant! Hot tears sprang to jeer closed eyes, hung on the thick lashes, ran over her burning cheeks, but she dared not look up. Pride was afraid of giving way. Ro bert saw her lip tremble, her tears fall, and lie broke down. 'Oh, Annie, my wife, speak to Me I look at me I I am afraid I have been harsh and cruel to you; but why, why dO von have a secret from me?' Wide open, honest, fearless were her eyes then. 'Robert I Robert I it is no harm. Could you not trust me? But I will tell you every thing. I never will have another secret. I have hated myself all the time. But it was only a story, for a surprise ; and I am so glad that I need not be sly any morel' And then she burst into Mich wild crying a that Robert was fairly frightened. He had never seen li) r beyond her eelf•controt before, and like all usually quiet and serene persons, her giving way was entire, and most distres si ng. It was a long time before she could tell her story coherently. In vain Robert begged her to wait till morning, as suring her that he was peririetly satis fied. She felt she could not sleep till every aloud was cleared away ; so at last—interrupted by her own tears or laughter, by his tender caresses and seirreproaches.the whole history of the Mannseript, the table, and letters was told. Row the husband felt, as .dv,etjlin-t - he chain proved her so .tepUe4Ad true, cannot be described. L i a 1 Wigs it,ilp 4 that he, in his turn,' 1 Aid - bere al ' heart before b er, and tit& 0114 it • hours of tofretirkg and conf ioty humiliation and jay, their nil ridden* and love Wake qsbui u a" *riedand perfected roun del' scekeut, !Dornlig a reply wps ailed tq the editor's letter; the .ito ciatie.ef the trouble. It had contained pierely a request for 'per mission to alter the name of Mrs. Cynthia Sullivan's story i' and, with Annie's acquiescence, the correspon dence ceased, and 'Mrs. Cynthia Sulli van' was known no more to the litera ry world. A few weeks later, on the evening before Robert's birthday, his wife fail ed to meet him at the door on his re• turn from the city, but in the parinr_ he found her„blushing and radiant, sitting at the dear old chess table, try ing in vain to keep up the traditional look of absorption in her game. The only drawback to the correctness of else picture was the sling in which she was still obliged to carry her arm. Perhaps it was this which sent the rare tears to her husband's eyes, as he kneeled beside her and held her close to hie heart. Thus the quaint old Chinese table became one of the moat cherished of lbw household gods, the companion of many a cozy winter evening, the silent, preacher to Robert against all impatience and suspicion—to Annie against any concealment or disingen uousness. When February's magazine was published, Annie's arm was entire ly strong again, and she enjoyed to the full the long desired pleasure of bearing her story read and praised by the voice dearer to her than all the world beside. Serious Difficulty Between England and Germany. The correspondent of the New York Herald, in Berlin,sends the following : A serious complication has arisen between Germany and England, and dispatches are passing between Prince Bismark and Earl Granville. The German government observes impenetrable silence on the subject of the present difficulty, but I am im informed that Prince Bismark has ad dressed a note to Count Bernedorf, the German representative in London, in forming him that the imperial German government desired to acquire Heli goland i and empowering him to make propositions to the British government For the purchase of the island. Earl Granville replied in the ume manner, saying that England will not part with Heligoland, and that the British government could entertain no proposition looking 10 the cession of that. island. Upon wbioh Prince Bisinark again addressed the British government through Count Bernedorf, declaring that the acquisition of Heligoland wee necessary for the protection of the German cosset, reciting as an instance the facilities for coaling and immunity from an attack which the French fleet enjoyed at Heligoland, by which it was enabled to blockade Hamburg and paralyze the commerce of the Ger mon coast. He looked upon Heligo land on account of its close proximity as German territory, and its possession by any foreign power at a standing menace to Germany. Earl Grant ille again replied that England was only bound to consider her own interests ; that the wish of the German government to acquire Heligoland did not constitute her right to it, as the island had never been under German rule The controversy now rests at du- o•fml:e. All the iinnfh I ein papers in Berlin are discussing the chances for the acquisition of Heligoland, while the official pre is either „,tiar.leil or silent on the subject, a fact which is inter preted as one of great significance. A Word to Sw . A gentleman once heard a laboring moan swear dreadlully in presence of his companion!. Ile told him it wan a cowardly thing to swear in company when he dared not do it by httnite/f. The man said lie was not afraid to swear at any time or place. will give you ten dollars,' said the gentleman, 'if you go into the village church yard al 12 o'clock to-night and swear the IMMO Oath which you have uttered here, when you are alone with Ooil. 'Agreed,' said the wan, •'tia an en.r earned ten dollars.' 'Well, you come to me to-morrow, and nay you have done it, and the money is yours. The time paceed on ; mid night Can*. The man went to the grave yard. It was a night of pitchy dark ness. Ae he entered the grave-yard nol a sound was heard; all was az stik as death. Then the gentleman's words, 'alone with God,' °stopover him with a won derful power. The thought of the wickedness he had committed, and what he had come there to do, darted through his mind like a flash of light• nfrig. Re trembled at his folly. Afraid to take another step, he fell on his knees and instead of the dreadful oaths he came to utter, the earnest cry went up, 'God be merciful to me a sinner.' -,---Theodore Tilton, in the Golden Age, says : Proteatunistu lies writirn no creed, (million ed fl() elllt tire, fie 11i...1 no churcirrdereloped no power wiatm could begin to take the place which the Catholic church holds in the world to-day. Destroy this church, which 4 1 ,3 dates b kto the days of the Apostles, to whin he Fathers belonged, and *rout bleb are gathered the most tender and seared associations of Mini then history, and Protestanietri Would be involved in the general wreck. —A high joint afrair--Itheumn tism in_ the shoulder 14 Meal of the TehaltahCoi6fel lanalgtiam Htsmre. • Qn the nigbt-of Pecembev the 2,8),h, 1871, Cbritather eve, Themaa 4..eyere was matted in atm WO in 111/Amer ican Bflloon,lion, Oho. Flinn the reeding-room a Bight of stairs aa• cended to an apartment above, need for A GAMBLING lIMLL fronting the square. Meyers often went to this resort, and so did many of the foremost citizens. He had, been for some years prominently connected with:local politics, and was a street supervisor. He was a jovial, rollick ing and good natured fellow, yet not much given to dissipation. He was looking np to as the muscular cham pion of republicanism of Hamilton,and was socially liked by many who dis liked his ,pOlitical affiliations. In one difficulty he shot and killed a man,but was acquitted on the ground of self-de fense. It was known that he always went armed. Thomaa McGehaii is another resi dent of Hamilton. He has been very active in democratic politics for a few years past, and has a brother who is Marshal of that city. He has lately been engaged largely in whisky disci• hag operations,land has amassed com aiderable property. The other actors in the story are Jackson Garver, a member of the Hamilton paid fire department Jas. McGehan, a brother of Thomas; [ch. Sheeley, an assistant Marshal of Ilam• ilton, and Daniel McGlynn. There had for some time existed. El= between 'fhomas McGehan and Meyers. McGehan accused Meyers of having given information to the inter nal-revenue authorities regarding li quor operations, Every body predicted that the feud would end in bloodshed, and on the night spoken of their pre dictions were verified. Meyers eat at the faro table, and there was eight or ten persons in the room. George John eon eat in the "lookout" chair. An an other table was a party playing seven up. Five men entered the faro apart ment; the advent was not particularly noticed, as all in the room were intent ly occupied in their games. Suddenly Tom Meyers staggered from his seat. The five men surrounded him. There was a sound as of crushing blows. There came three pistol shots in quick succession. The affrighted players hastened down stairs pell-mell. The five men passed leisurely down, and four of them went out of the front door of the saloon. The news:quickly flew that there had been an affray in the American, and in a few moments Dr. Huber, who was in the faro room where the assault occurred, returned and examined Meyers. HE WAS DYING There was several contused wound'. about the head, and in the abdomen was a hole where the' fatal hullet had pulsed. In fifteen minutes from the beginning of the fracas Meyers was dead. While Myers lay above, writhing in his death throes,dcOell an etood drink ing at the bar below. The doors had been closed, and a knot of anxious in quirers waited. Presently there came a peremptory dnock,and the door was opened from within. Joseph Meyers, the brother of the murdered man, step ped inside. As soon as he saw Mc- Gehan at the bar, lie exclaimed : '1 tint not come here for any rues, Mr. McGehan." 'All right,' responded bfa;eban pass ed into the street, and spent the re miinder of the night in carousal. For two days he WAR at large, and on the the third was arrested,with his brother James, Sheely, Garver and McGlynn, as the murderers of Thomas Myers. Scene on the Ohio Our boat had to stop to take in wood, On the shore, among the crowd, was a remarkable stupid young fellow, wi , b his hands in his pockets, and his under lip hanging down. A dandy, ripe for a scrape, nods and winks all around, saying. 'Now, I'll have some fun. I'll fright en the green-horn.' He Jumped ashore with a large drawn bowie-knife, and brandishing it in the face of the green 'un, exclaim 'Now pann4/a )on--I've been for sun lor a week ' The tvilosr stared 8111111.1:1 11 169 118. 5711111.11 , ht t-% hien'', did not isiwiv enough 1.. lie scare,l eti the 60v:1v knife cause near ice, one of his flats suddenly hie pocket, and fell hard and l y between the eyes of the (land.. 411,1 the poor fellow was flosndering in the Obio. Greene Jumped on board our boat, pm /11,0 hand. 1/1 /118 pOCketB, and look •dlnby (here's somebody else has been looking for me for a week I' JUST FOL D IT OUT. —A rough look• Mg specimen of bittnamty was crone ing along Chatham street, New York, not long since, when he came plump ly upon a Jew, a •pecimeri of hie race, about whom there conk' be no mut take. Without a word of warning, the rough knocked him sprawling into the gutter. Picking hitneelPmp, and tak ing hie 'claret' faucet between hie fingers and thumb, be demanded an explanation. •Shut up, or I'll bust you eget!, r -honied the aggressor, ap• prosohing him. .1 never done nodings mit you, and what loot oil mash mo on the nose?' asked Abraham. 'Yes, yer hey i yer dewe crucified Jesus Christ, and I have t mind to go for yer again.' !Bat- (nine Cot, that was eighteen Andrea lease ago.' 'Wal, I don't care It it wee—l only heir,' of it Islet night I' replied the uth waDhed, 'loin going for hie victim, who tvisely,went a trifle taster in the same direction. All Sprts of Paragraphs. —Generally speaking—women. —Brakoman—baggago smasher. —What dross is most durable? ir habit. —Beek door belles—pretty servant maids. Caps and effect—Crows and scare crows. —When is a new hat like a blow ? When it is felt. —lmitate a good man, but never countartoit him. —Song of a good hunter—"My hap pineal; is ore. —Tho way to get at the root of any thing is to—dig. —When a woman gots hor,back up she won't back down. —Why is a girl not a noun? Because alas is an interjection. The last language to bo spoken go oarth--Tho Finish I " —The matter of a 'good-fitting , coat it only a matter of form. Is a military ompany likely to get wet when it tral s —The first supporter of the preci— Cain ; ho took a liell's life. It Is not always ho who has the most noso who knows the most. No class put more real fooling in their vocation than pickpockets. The "new departure" of the Admin. istration—to Long Branch. A question of poaaibility - Could s women 'beard' a lion in his don. In unreasonable hot weather ono corn plains of the unwanted heat. The waiter is a most irresistible pe r eon; ho carries everything before him Why is love like a Scotch plaid 7 he cause tt is all stuff, and often crossed. A good tonic for debilitated young ladies—iron. A better tonic—ironin g . A man who is sleeping In bed, lies asleep ; and who tells falsehoods hoe a. wake. It Is bard to respect old ago when ono gots sold on a venerable pair of chickens. "Out of sight, out of mind," as tho mad wag said when ho saw a blind lu natic. A man who cuts hls hairs off with a shilling need not necessarily use a 511 ver spoon. There is no objection to a broil in tilt) house, so long as It is conflned to the kitchen. Dangerous relaxation—Fooling with R married lady who has a red.headeJ husband. Why is coffee like an axe with a don edge? Because it has to bo ground bo fore it can be used. It is fashionable In Ohio to stamp doughnuts with the monogram ot tho family. The young lady who is unable tov,p• port a riding habit, should get inu a walking habit. Some people say that dark-hai nd women marry soonest. We differ ute tho light-headed ones. A kiss is the alms which enriches hint who receives without impoverishing her who gives. Sombody says Phebe Cozzons has Ohio features. 'Ohio' has only unei,;s that what ho means? On a gay widow giving up her weeds for colors—. Behold how brightly breaks the morning.' Balloonists don't care about mak ing much money. If they can ,nly make ascent they are satlsfled. An honest banker sometimes fails :9 making money, but a di/filmiest MI6 !naked money by failing, There is a poor man in Bangor,filinn ,, , who says- 'lt's working between inesli that's killing him.' White sults are much worn by yming ladies these days—but more of thew wear white suits these nights. A red nose is no more a eign nt i drinking throat than a talking torivle is an indication of a wise head. Why don't they take steps In Tartary to establish insane asylums? they're no mad people there. A carriage-maker thinks 'the elliptic steel springs' are about as healthy 're:n• oral springs' as there are. Greeley says that in ordorto raise blue bells of the avera g e diameter and dens• ty, bubsoiling is absolutely necessary An exchange says, 'Wife-beating ie called spousal castigation, in Cicie.;"' Liost,,n calk It 'basting the spark. rlb A Connecticut horse has been neictit to ring the door-bull, but he Lbe made to wipe his feet ur, the n ,, a \I y dour,' remarked Punch, w hl, N. bust days, is the ex iiresiflon tied by a man and wife at the commencement ei a quarrel, `Was the Homan matron, W ,1.1 were Jewels, a mother of pearl ?":v , , Toy child, the Gracchi wore Corerihm• Two Atlanta hellos cmildn't remtrifri themselves from kissing Jell Dave, het Saturday, and Jetf—well, he w ouldh restrain them. What's the difference between a hohoy Comb and n honey rngon? One n n reb of a number of solidi cells ; the other .d ono groat sell. A New Orleans thief returned sore , abstracted clothing that proved too §I mit I , and wrote to the owner that ho would wait for him to grow. Boasting is sometimes out of place We were once amused at hearing II t/emart remark that ho was abachelor /Is that dog of yours a crosAlimood ? asked a gentleman of a canine vender 'No cur; his mother was a very gentle and affectionate creature. A Toledo druggi , t had his name taken off a petition for a street improvement when he learned that such would im prove the hoalth of the neighborhood A Indy remarked of a very ignorant man, who was compl imented on 104 good sense: 'He ou ght to have a gest stook of good sense, for ho neve r spends any:' A fashionable mamma's advice to s mulled daughter : 'Never take you!' husband to an evening part' ; thero la• nothing that is Own a so 114UCII I!10 way,
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers