T
®fc3Bindei‘v
&BOOKJIAK Wa 6^ I ’ n ,
iAxwiMito
WSSSIfcS jSgS'^.^Cs;
i#Wß««t »i«w. Harper's Weeklr ij, ‘ Ne *t
pW*. 'Scientific Ani.riceii,
to tod In any style r^ui™a.,p >n J'^' lu *c»s
lti«Aw^’riSo‘ r^ J l t l'-
l»W|*ay'. Book, Ud^™S^^«w.
Mnflc. ic* buaort In «tra-^lf ettr '
S)U»d«ob»t»oti«l Imlf binding. Ri.S u 01
teWkimw, fsmalilet law*. twain! *!“•"-
price..’ iKrZ '•■•
tea** to bind, will receive «Jibuti df “ R “
BBWc: ifwwW' ,
#**• a<w»« .
• • / p 0
|t* DBBN..t tht Tribmt Olfa ’ ; ’
jSMksßd vicinity. They «IU gituiu^l.'“■'
Vtobindlt*. .pd ««hre
'«*«»«», for nil Who onLutt tieir »„* **
• 'I
= -■>- ..
-V Si t s
I .«•;£. £5 ?
N ■< 'jJ i
£ <fa
m ® .*3_ .5 e
•'* r -8,
C 5 «: as s
;;..§-S*S|jii
1 °
woj|s
(Lg
tJsslJll
■-■. .JSfiiai'Sj
' -■■. f OO r -i-s.
1 ll_
ACOB WETS,
w
8; AND CONFECTIONER,
rinUxiA St*i*T. Altoona, p*.,
s CONSTANTLY ON HAND
AAD. CAKES, candies
of .hi- own nnujufsctorr, which b<-
*««. w*i'.(«nlr or retail, nt tits' most reus in
M«, fOREI iN KIUJITS, such «s '
Efc. LEMONS, PINE-APPLES,
JNES, RAISINS, NUTS, &cZ&C,
in tiwtr respective n-ssmis. ,
8 BAKED TO ORDER.'
■occasions. on short notice and in the n«t
rylc of the art,.
as and pried my stock and yon will Sue)
damp as can he parclraaed elsewhere.
NFECTIONERY
OYSTER SALOON,
SUBSCKi-BER WOULD IN
hc citizens of Altoona and riciuitr that hi,
(EKT. XtT arid KitCIT, STORK. J, ai»„u
li»« wry Kent articles to be had, and in great
hits also an
STF-H SALOON
i»ftU*re. in which he wRJ terve op OYSTERS
sdimug the casern.
<£\Pl£S alnwyx on huwl.
tßnea prepared to iupply Cftketi. candle. Ac.,
rto;f»,*?r partita/ lie in,rite* a Bhuwof public
that he can render fuiraatUfictiou to
.tutor* and saloon is onViritiniastteel.twi
ittou’. Kail. ■ i OTTO KOSSt.
,10. ISOMf ’
L FETTINGER’S
ml Agency,
Vhl, No. 7, MAIN STREET
L BOOKS, BLANK BOOKS;
* ER Y, CONFECTION ARI ES
ARS& TOBACCO,
> NOTIONS IN GREAT VARIETY
«#*»#»'■■ Ojr 'has©.
YD & CO.,
AI.TOOKA. PA
TON. JACK & CO.,
bollidatsbvrg. pa-.
IISTKEBS,
“■Belt, Jofmtton, Jack # Co ”)
•TS ON THE PRINCIPAL
loa snw sad 0«M tor mß*. CoHectloni
( received ondepoeJte, P*J*Weon [demand,
ft, ot upon lime, with Ililere*tr«t flUr rates.
KESSLER—PBACTIC A I
-OGJBT, r«prctfnlly uowana*
cf Aitoimt ud
«iB eontinoerthe tbra*: !«»»«•, Ttow-W :
whert he
:hjmicaia oitB,rAiuaBH
rvrrs. , ; ~ rr 7^.,
tolnulncca, and » da»bre tor““ er **'■
u* regard* price and qnaßty, heliopt-Ji'
tve ashare of public patronage-
J*d merchant, supplied on j-eaeouohlc ten;i,
from a diataooe promptly altwnW to,
frawription. carrfidly compounded. I 1 1 '
ADY FRIENDS WOULD DO
*.k, to opoo the choke gad
erDKErS 0001)8 oo« dteiUyed "P°“ « ir
ytoof M*!MPHT ‘T'eHIKB.
Cor.afTtrgtateeßdCarobnt »u
-38,1892. ■ ■
AND LARD OILS, CAM-
9 11 *
Nit)} AT M cOORW XOK'S re
odWi amortmeJit
:—a LA3OIT ANl'
kT, 100TH, BHAVDN^
md Tarutob Bnudiw *t rgagl KE s
IM)S OF VJUN®#....
fi'LLAS AND DARAS^-
.«wA.ty.a« iACtttUWs
*i, tfue. , i ■ !'*■■■ ' ...
PYLES CAJtPJSTING A^' 1 *
i. An b« found -: JUCgg MA II-
ERAD
gjs* “*
™WgSg :
Cnwm. twiai
srj
*OB «r*
\ r OL. 8
£ h McC/i VM,
t ,.,• ftimum. (payable iiivamhly in .$1 00
>ll )Mi''T« (lMcouriiui'‘ii at the expimlmii of the tiuic
~,Ki m-. | =
) insertion £ do. 3 do.
... $ ‘25 $. $ 50
5u •- 75 I *Ki
... 100 1 60 200
... X 5o *2 (*0 2 50
, tin»m week;* nml/h*.s.H tlmu three'uKikjlhs. 25 cents
..juaio lor jwuh iueertiou.
3 months. 0 month*. 1 year.
$ X 50 v $ 3 00 $ 6 00
2 50 4 00 7 Oo
i oo o oo jo oo
5 00 8 ;00 12 00
/6 00 l4 CO
5 ;- * column 10 00 . 14 -00 2^m
V.-,lumn 14 00 25 (K) 40 IK)
, , Jli!l i“trutMr!Crtml Kxecututi! Notices V. 1 75
-i...rii.iitf* advWli-Jiig by the yenr, tin ee eg» tuck
•vjrii I'lieriy fu change
j. or kja.......
-.jUrfr**. (8 .liur-.,j.
3AUTIMORS LOCK HOSPITAL
, :-i A.t1.1ei1..1» As A IIKKOJIS KUUM^U'ACKKRT
i’iia Only Place Where a Cure Can
be Obtained- • ♦
? \ll. JOHNSON lia.a discovered the
/ mu*! iVitaiii, and only UftiiCinal Remedy in
r»v.»t Li !'*r till Ihivai* 1 Di-t-ases. \Veakues* ql the Ruck
~, Lj;noc sirls tiin *. Alf.-i-thui* of tin* Kidneys am! Hhtd
,,.iS :ji ..mat.try Diwcn 1151:1*'. impoteney, tie tiers* I Debility,
>, Dyspppay. Languor.’ l.o*v Spirit**, Cunfuidoo
,tf (i -a-. t’,tiidO!ini of ilit* Heart. Timidity, ’tfreinblings.
p. n) .,. of or (fuldineSM, Diaeaae of The He id.
, i-,. -. W.sf or Sic in. Atfectioua of th- Liver. Lung-. Moin
, 1 B •\reis—tuox>* Terrible disorder* uriHing from the
, ll(t H min of Youtii —elm** skc itKT and ht>Htary*jjr«c
--t mir- I'VE at u rheii victim)' than the Mongol Syrenato
~ I.uin-i' yf uiy-i'"-. blighting their m*.s*t brilliant
1 •- .if antioijiMti ms. rendering inunLige'.&c . impossi-
, ... 1; - idful and destnetive habit which annual.y sweep**
vi u'ltimelvgtavi* ih.iuv.inds of Young Men of the moat
talorit*. itn-l brilliant intellect. who-might other
■v ... :-j.iv •.* entranced iNiening Seimt'* With t' e thunder**
- 1 pj/tKv*. ui* wikt»*J to wtasy the living lyre, may call
a ;• t . nl! .•■mthlenc-o.
MARRIAGE.
•; u , ;-.i or Voiing Alyn eotemplatina marriage,
nv,i"- -f physical weakness, t-ripml'' debility. defor
>. x- . -jK'i-Uil? emvd.
l l \vu>*.pl:u:i'H him —ll undyr th' care of Dr. J. ifmy re
5-iv iMufi I- in hhorn" a« a gmitl'Mitan, and r.mfl
. r< I v npm iil> skill a- a nli'Vfdciaii.
ORGANIC WEAKNESS
. .- li >:,dy Om L fail Vj K
■ Ui-ti-Wiiur AM'-.*-.--rn.ii —which n nd*-i « miserabi**
i, u i up.c-i.dt?— i- th-*' penalty paid by the
'ij. .f i u >r>>p t i■; : (11 vT 1 ■ ’»'• i'*>. Vuiioj’ pi r-a n.- art* t.*
•.• .ai ail •• v-*s - :V-.*ru ri. i iu'iiii; awat o•■f th • dr«*a«b
,i, r’; t ai vy “’I'Ui 1 . ' Ni.w. " in- th.it »i
, ni • mpij.tcr u; ; pit-ten! fo d*-ny that tin- j>..\ y i r ol
,ri .a i-lost s . by i:i.*-c falling improper
- l >v t!i •| 1 ;'«t l -nl ; ib-side* filing depriv.-dhtlu*
~n ~.r health / •:?-I.ri u. th-’ mr'-t , .’.r:-! d*--
i- ns* svinptimi' rn '•■•th b-*dv and i;< l ♦i. 1 T!i<*
II Deraiigai. th- PlivSH'ai a.nd M.nt-.i 1 UHC
.i, WVAhhm.J. !,>••. •{' L*r ■■>?!'tiv<* I'hh-t. N'-rv-ms liri
t\. p_\ np p-d i. p,.!piuti<m ..f the Heart, indigestion •
-ritutinnAl Mehihty. a Wa-ting **f ttir* Frame. Cough,
it-nati-in. Uerav und Death.
~ NO. I S TH FREDERICK STREET,
!*• vji'inic I'r*mu llaltimore stre- f. a few doors
>r i jr. Kail iM t-* nil* tv* name itgiil number
- !'•* i'li'i aiJ-1 '.aujt.iin a > , aU}p. The Dl>C*
’> ~:oaiiH Oarjg ill lus office
A CURE WARRANTED IN TWO DAYS.
Xo Msr 'itry nr Xnseon* Dru<jt..
0-R. JOHNSON.
.iV-r of tlit- Koyni College of Hurgeon-, London. tirad
• !d»m miii of the mujl tmiinent Coll-ges in the United
•*. ami th ■ greater part of whose life has be.-ti spent in
hospital* of London.' Paris i’hiladelpliia and t.dne
-•v haa ofhv'ed .vjine of the imM astonishing cures
wen* ever known: many troubled with ringing In th**
• and e>rs wlt-n asieep, great nervoiisnesei, being
u-d at sudden sou ids. baslifulness, with frequent
atfeudi.sl sometimes with derangement of mind,
•need immediately. -
TAKE PARTICULAR NOTIQE.
1 ,J. address*.** all jthose wrholmve injuml theiuHclvt**
;-upr'>j)er indulgence and solitary habit!*. which ruin
body and miudyuiiHttiug them' for either business.
society or marriage.
ikx: are some of the sad and melancholy effects pro
i i i {>>• early habits of y«»uth, viz: Weakness of the
- i. nucl Limb*. Pains in the UeAd, Dinu'ess of Sight.
»f Xu.icnlnr Power, Palpitation of the Heart. Dye-
'UxTAtLl.—'The tearful effects of the mind-are mucli to
L »ss of Memory, Confusion of Ideas, De
-iniiitf spirits, Kyil l\nt'lit*<ir«igß. Aversion to Society,
iintrust, L*»vc of .Solitude, Timiditj, 4c, are souit» of
i vila produced.
- « jc.sk.Vo3 of persons of all ages can now judge what is
' of their declining "health, losing thWir vigor, lie*
i:ig weak. paie. nervous am! em dated. having asin
i i :«r anpearanceabout the eyes, cough and Symptoms ol
' i umptioo
" • u *vo injured themselves by a cortalri practice in*
i 4-1 in when ;i!oite. t» habit frequently learned from
v ! or at Hchool. u»e effect* of which are
. r:ly felt. oeHJk whfn njieep.-aml If not cored render*
••'i'iitj'H itnpoeihle. u»ul destroy* both mind and body.
l‘» ni.} apply immediately.
•Vint a pity that ayomig mair. the hope of his country.
• urlinicof his parent*, slmaM he snatched from all
•s ••■-rt* and enjoyment* of life, by the ctinseqnence of
: viiting from The path of nature, and Indulging in a
••tuiweciet hiU'n. £«cb pereom must, before couteui*
•-’‘•tiag
1 .*ct that a sound mind and i.,«iy sire the most necessary
• to promote commbt »1 beppineft*. Indeed, with*
v«n th’iMp.'th**journey through UftM become** wearer p11.v.-jsnoce;
.v.-jsnoce; tli* prospect hourly darkens to thevipw; the
ij si I b.*come< *hado*ted \Vlih despair £nd filled with the
d incji dy reflection that the. happiness ol another he*
•Jif.4 bllgtytwl with nur own.
-DISEASE OF IMPRUOENpE.
the misguided anil *mprud**irt votary of pleasure
i!- that h* has imbibed th“ seeds uf this painful dis
<•! '. it t<*» often happens Chat an HUtimed sense uf shame.
> r '.n'iul of discovery, deter* him frooj applying to tho<*e
•f !'. from education nipj respectability. cim alone be
fr -u I him. delaying constitutionalsymptoms of
b .rri«l di.ieaae- innke their appearance, such as ulcera
te - >r*? throacV disea<u*d nose, nocturnal pain s lu the bead
*:it li'ntn. dlumass of sight. (h-afnoss, males on the shin
-if-* ami arms, blotches on the head, face andextreml
"-•. progressing* with frightful i rapidity, till «l last the
!> u it.- of the mouth or cite bone* of the nose full in. and
l ':* victim of this awful (li*€**e a b<*rHd «itf**ct of
*■■' a uiseratVon. till ileath puts a period tubls dmulfal
by sending him t • ’‘that Undiscovered Country
whenco no .traveller returns.” . - i
l> > * rruta/ieAoftf /oci rl»*t thousand* fall victims to
v>: * f-rriblfl dnem*, owing to th* andclUfnthcM of ign«v
r - t •truit'o.lera. who. by tin* ti*e of that Deadly Pnitniu
Mr',i,y. ruin tUe constitution Hud jmtkc the residue, of
1 • ’•’ , ni«erahl(».
STRANGERS
i’’n-iitio: your lives. or health to the care of the many
r >’ ‘»rn?.l mid Wortlm*** Pretenders, destitute of kn»wl
" nntnt* or cli iracter. wh » copy Df Johngton’s adver
or Htvto them**!™*, In"ihe newspaper*. regu
:l’> i; >,; c , lPl | Vbvsietuus. incnliable of Curing. th*7 keep
TmjriJJrna mouth after month. taking their filthy and
/'ompnuuds. ,6r as Imi'r as tin* «»i:iilest fee cat
in despair. leave yon with rUined health
t - Mijh <>T»*r ymir Kulliug disappointment.
b 1; J -hn.too m the .*nly Physician advertising.
I!.< •nti;ii < >r tiitihunaH always hang In his
His r»nißfi*e>» or treatment are nnknown -lip' all o»hcr«.
V r " ’' r " 1l a rba great ho»|llt«i« of Kurope.
; ;i " i»i the country and n more extensive private Prac
irt Hirni uiv oth<*r Physician in the world. - ’.
I'OOISEM -NT Of THE PfffcSS.
i m u.y thousand* cured at |hU in«h‘atioo. year after
>*sr. oa i tUo numerous! important. Surgical operation*
Perform- 1 ijy .Tohn*t‘>n. witnessed by the reporter* of the
~s ‘v‘ “ Clipper.” stiff many otlnr pVpt-r«, notice* of
j '* VVfl H lM >f, ar**d‘ay:aTu and again b»fnfl» the pnlvHc,
-’“o l-s hi« sran line n* a gontVmen of character anjJ re*
•fiDnsi!)illiy. in a>a3l r i c .|ii .guarantee tothaafilicted.
v DISEASES SPEEDILY CURED.
- o iciu.f, r *iceivf<i mtleen postpaid vnd Containing a
i 1,(5 URe '* °. n the reply Person* wntingshonld state
I stud p irtion of idv"‘rtiiO‘ment d*>crihiHg symptoms
i«nlI W * n * s b<>u!d be particular In directing their
'* * f ‘ his Institution. In the following manner;
McCRHM & DERX,
I'HLE ALTOONA TRIBUNE.
EDITOR* A.VI) PROPRI ETOB.»
TERMS OP ADVERTISING
~,S OF k‘B. I *.
4 UUII‘
•.-Mouiil orHiusimy Cards, uuf exceeding 8 lines
; di j«aj>er. per year....„ A. 500
.uurtuiiicatious of a poljticn character ;«riindividual
will he charged according to the übuVfi rates.
i menu not marked with the number of inser
. ii-*ire‘i. will he continued till forbid ami ctarged
, to the above l. rtns.
,:u*ui- '-i notice* five cents per line for every insertion.
Mtuuty notice exceeding ten lines, fifty cents a square.
YOUNG MEN
who Imw b> come the victim.' of Solitary Vice.
v% N.yfPus Irril ibility. Derangement of the Digee-
r tiuctioiib. tie'ueral Debility. Symptom*. <>f Connmup
YOUNG MEN
MARRIAGE
A M- JOHNSTON. «. 0..
Oftha Baltimore Lock Hospital,'.Maryland
H. ('. DEUX,
FALTER NQT-QUAIL NOT-ON TO
Falter not—quail not—on to the'tight.
Our cauw* will .ret triumph— we fight for th<? right.
The foe will he vanquished though ami buhl,
for we fight forth* cause .of onr fiithere of old;
For liberty. freethmi.-Uhlon ami laws.
For (.tod’* fairest laud-—for God’s chosen eause;
A cause that has triiipiphed over tyranny’* might.
The qtfhse of humanity. ju?(ico ami right?
The chum 1 of a. nation that never oppressed—
A nation whose people have ever been blessed.
Quatl not—we’ll fall iiotr-on to the fight:
Our cause will yet tihimph— W‘* fight for the right:
The hand that sustained u<t in days that are past.
Will restore us the Union and freedom at last.
U hat though.the traitor hordes stand at y<*ur-d.s*r
Hally, men. rally, men, rally once more:
T iehl nut to treason tin- God given trust.
But *tau<l hy the flag uf ac»m«e that is Just.
Stand hv the flag that our Washington hor»
When Britain’s invaders set foot on our shun*.
10 00
Kimw ye tin*, price of the treasure ye keep?
Then let not the traitor hand find ye asleep.
But-rouse ye to action, on. on to the war.
The oppressed of the nations look on from afar;
Then, nerve ye the strongnrm—brace up the heart.
And now let the patriot act well his part;
This is your country‘ft call—falter ye nut—
. The deeds of your fathers must-not he forgot;
The laud they have jpiVen ye. se*» that ve save.
Or fill ye. each freeman, a patriuf* grave.
for tire negro the sword is unnhutirhert,
Bnt the flag hjhl the* Union our father bequeathed.
Iffldvery shall perish ’mid the rain of wat,
*Tw<»rv letter, «je bolter than ha.-d.un h> far.
(, hl not for s -oiis—nor tight ye for gain :
Hut fight to preserve the flag from the stain
Of treason's foul tmiph, nud never again
Lot the sword he l.ikf d wi» til! fields of the nlgdn
Attest to the world that in earnest we fight.
For the cause that roust triumph, because it is right.
FALSE ARISTOCRACY,
“ I should like to know ' the name of
that handsome young fellow who accom
panled you to church last Sunday," re
marked Clara Mullins, to her amiable and
beautiful cousin Maria Helgoland.
That’s a pretty question to ask.. Do
you imagine 1 am so simple as to tell all I
know in this age of secret societies ‘ The
next thing you will want an introduction ;
hy-nnd-by- you' will set your cap, and who
knows but you may steal away my gallant
beau, and then leave me alone in the glon
of single blessedness,” v
“ Now, .Mary, stop poking fun at me.
and let’s know the name of that nice
young man.” ‘
“Well, Clara, if it will afford you so
much gratification as to ascertain his
name, I will not be so cruel as to with
hold it; here is his card.”
“So you adnprc the . name, and think
he who wears it personally handsome.”
“Yes, Maria. I think he is a’perfect
model of a man. How neatly, and yet
how plainly He dresses. What a line
figure, broad forehead and beautiful eyes
he has! Is he a lawyer, doctor, or pro-*
lessor, ormerchant, or students What is
he?”
“ He is a printer.*’
“ A publisher, you mean.”
“ No, he picks up types in a newspaper
office.”
“ O, now I understand you ; you intend
to say, that he.is the editor and proprietor
of a newspaper.”
** No, my dear cousin, he is a journey
man printer.” ; ’
“You don't say he is nothing but a
journeyman!”
“ How came you, cousin, to allow him
to sit up in oitr pew, and beau you home
from church ? .1 would not permit a me
chanic to touch my arm with a pair of
tongs. I tnink you ought to be ashamed
of such vulgar’society. I shall inform ma
this very day, and so Iqgig as you remain
under this roof ? :I am quitc-sure she will
not allow that plebean printer to pay any
attention to you." •
“I declare,” -observed pleasantly.
“ you. have given me a Caudle lecture.
If that distinguished foreigner who fell in
love with you at the museum, and who
has been so assiduous in his attentions
ever since he an introduction,
could have heard you, I have no doubt he
would highly commend you for looking
down on what die calls the common herd.”
“ I Wish you to Understand that Mr.
Fitzgmnmon id a real gentleman by birth,
and that he has theadvantage of an ample
fortune,” continued; Clara.'
“ I am heartily sorry, my dear cousin,
Shat you encourage tin; addresses of such a :
fop. lam sure he -does not display much
good breeding; and as for education, he
seldom speaks without murdering, his
j mother tongue. For my part, I should.
. prefer the society of ohe who works for a
living, provided he is honeftt, virtuous,
sober and intelligent. I have been ac
quainted with Mr. Raymond ever since he
was a child—indeed we were schoolmates.
I know his parents, and although they
are poor they are; quite respectable, and
have given George a good common educa
tion, and die is now occupying his leisure
hours in acquiring a knowledge of the
languages. Even you admire his personal
attractions, and all acknowledge that ibis
T|HE FIGHT.
UY W. 11l ,\OAt
ALTOONA, PA,, TUESDAY, APRIL 14, 1863.
j intellectual endowments are far superior
I to his physical beauty.”
“I am much obliged to you for that
! sermon. Miss Maris! Setlgeland; if does
( not require the assistance of a spy-glass or
j microscope to discover the s*.ate of your
i feelings in. regard to this vexed question.
The truth is vou are envious or jealous,
1 , , *
| because I have made an impression on the
j heart-of Mr Fitzgamraon, while you can
j pick up a poor shiftless fellow, who picks
jup letters in a printing office. Ma will
i put a stop to your courtship, and if you
were at the altar pa would forbid the
bans.”
The next morning, immediately after
breakfast, Maria was requested to go into
her aunt's room. She had been seated
but a few momenta, when the aristocratic
old lady came into the apartment and ol>-
ssrved, “ I have been informed that with
out my knowledge or consent you have
accepted the attention of a young man
employed in a printing office."
“ Well, aunt,” remarked Maria, blush
ing to the temples, “Mr Kaymond came
from my native town ; and we have been
acquainted ever since we were children.—
He is a respectable young man, and a wel
come guest in the best circles of society.”
“ Well, Miss. I shall put an immediate
stop to such an interview as you have with
him. You shall not go with him to the
theatre nor drink wine with him at
partie?.”
“ He never ''ues to the theatre and ho.
never drinks wine. He belongs to a di
vision af the Sons of Temperance.”
“ So lie is a cold water rat ! Now 1
hate him more than I did before, and if he
ever comes to my house I will drive him
away with a broom slick.”
“John.” said Mr Mullins to his servant
man. “ take this hil/et donx to the hotel
where Mr. Fitzgammon boards, and give
it to him yourself with my compliments.”
It was past nine o’clock, and yet Mr.
Filzgaminon was still in the embrace of
Morpheus. The waiter, glad to awaken
the sleeper, and feed him, so that the
dining room might be got in readiness for
the next meal, awoke liira at once.
He usually spent an hour at his glass,
.nn papering his curls, lacing his sfttys, &e.
Whilst he was dressing arid decorating
his person, John commenced conversation i
with an intelligent waiter, who was an i
old chum of his. j
“ I guess massus is' goin’ to have a party
to-night, and this note is to ax the gentle
man to attend."
“You do not call him a gentleman, I
hope. He is as a bear with a
sore head, and is more trouble at the
fable than any other six boarders in the
house. He smells the soup until his
moustache dips into it, and then pronounces
it unfit for the pigs; he says that the
beefstake is tougher than sole leather —
the butter as strong as Samson—and the
pies and puddings not to be compared to
such luxuries in London. We have to be
as careful in feeding him as though he
were a wild beast, gnashing his teeth on
the keeper of the menagerie.”
“ Why how you talk, Bob. Miss Clara
takes.quite a'si line to him, and she would
have thrown a kettle of hot water on you
if she heard what you said now.■ I should
not wonder if they got' married before
long. She says he is the son of a lord.”
“ Son of a devil,-more likely.”
“ Well, if they should pair olf, after
lulling rind cooing a while, I hope he
will make Miss Clara stand around, for
she has a horrid temper, and Miss Sedge
land has to put up with her ill 'htlmor.—
She is half the time scolding her because
a workman went with her to meeting on
Sunday.”
“ Are the old folks rich ?”
“ They are well to do in the world, but
they need not turn up their noses at poor
folks,' for -I remember the time when old
Mullins couldn't cut such a swath as he
does now. He used to keep a barber shop,
and had some idea of taking my father j
into partnership with him, but’father re
fused to have anything to do with the old
skin flint. He griped every cent until it
squealed, and souq saved enough to go to
brokering on a small scale. Folks used
to laugh, and say one pole would do for
both branches of business. _ Now he uses
.soft.soap, and shaves notes,and isashamed.
of the more honest and honorable calling
of shaving faces. I wish the old man ■
would try his hand on the face of the j
dandy who is after his daughter.” |
“ Yes, John, I think he could improve
his looks, but then if a man makes a beast
of himself, I can see no earthly reason
why he shouldn’t look like one. 1 believe
this stranger who palms himself off as a .
distinguished foreigner ts an impudent
impostor, without either wit, money or ■
morality; and should he soriy to have
him marry your young mistress.”
“Well, John, I read books and 'study
human nature, and if I am not vastly
mistaken, the ill-loooking. ill-natured and';
ignorant foppling of whom we have.
been speaking, is a vile fellow, and he i
ought to be exposed. I think it would be :
a good idea to get Mr. Baymond to publish j
him,”;
“Do you mean Baymond the printer?” '
“Yes.”
[independent nr evebtthing.]
“He is the very man that went to
church with the lovely and graceful Miss
Sedgeland last, Sunday, and Missus has.
vowed he shall never- darken her doors
again.”
•• What an old goose she must be. Mr.
Raymond is loved and respected by all
who know him. Several of our oldest,
mo«t wealthy and influential citizens have
clubbed together and raised funds enough
to buy a press and types, and have engaged
him to edit a newspaper they design to
publish. He is the famous author of the
thrilling sketches over the initials of H 3-. R.’
“ Miss Clara says she wouldn’t touch,
him with a pair of tongs, and that, he is a
low fellow, fit only to associate with vulgar
people.”
“Pshaw! that’s all moonshine. The
time may come when she will lie glad to
lx? in his company. There is an accom
plished and pretty young lady boarding
here who gave the mitten to Mr. Fitz
gauunon. but she w uld be delighted to
have Mr. Raymond except her hand, her
fortune.”
As John surmised, that very evening
there was a grand soiree at the house
owned and occupied by the haughty
homely Mrs. and the hard-fisted Mr. Mullins.
At an early hour, the washed, combed,
brushed, curled, dressed, perfumed and
decorated Mr. Fitzgammon might have been
seen ascending the flight of granite steps,
and after spelling out the name engraved
on the door plate, pulled the bell with
£uch violence that the lap-dog howled
with the ear ache, and the servants started
in alarm, and the old woman wondered
what oil earth was the matter.
He was escorted into the pleasant room
which was handsomely furnished with the
most fashionable furniture. ' Alter being
introduced to the company present, he
made a low bow, tried to smile, scraped
his feet on the carpet, and then awkwardly
tumbled like a bale of dry goods on the
sofa ; after which he looked up with an air
of wondrous wisdom and importance,
which seemed to say, “ what think ye of
this imported specimen of gentility.
lie really was a remarkable looking ob
ject. His coarse hair was oiled, curled
and scented. He stared at every person
in the room through his quizzing glass.
He wore on his unintellectual face, mous
tache, imperial, whiskers and goatee,
looking like an ass that had swallowed a
horse, and left the tall sticking out of his
mouth. His red carrot fingers were
hooped with huge rings, and a broach
large enough for a looking-glass stuck
upon his ruffled shirt bJiom.
Most could have seen at a
glance that he was one of those non
descript creatures who know but little of
themselves externally, except what they
learn from the looking-glass, and who
know nothing of themselves, internally,
except what they feel from the liquor
glass. The fallowing conversation be
tween the parties will afford an idea of
the mental calibre of the distinguished
gentlemen.
“It is a beautiful evening, sir,” re
marked one of the Company.
■ “ Very foine.”
“ How do you like our climate, sir ?”
“ Very foine.” v
“ You have seen the falls of Niagara, I,
am told. What do you think “of'that
sublime and beautiful water wonder ?”
“ It is very foine.”
“I think I saw you at the meeting
which was recently addressed by the Hon.
Daniel Webster; what do you think of
his eloquent and magnificent speech ?”
“ It was very foine.”
“ How do you feel, sir, when excited
by the thrilling, electrifying eloquence of
our Demosthenes?”
“ Very foine.” 1
“ The sensation must be akin to the
trumpeting of the storm when the winds
do battle. What are yonr sensations
during a storm at sea ?”
“ I am very sick at the stomach,' at.
such times, but when we have a smooth
sea and a fair wind, I feel very foine.”
The conversation was here interrupted,
by the appearance of Mrs. Mullins and
her daughter, 'ihey were richly dressed
and gorgeously jewelled, and Ciafa, not
withstanding the unmistakable lines which
ill-temper had traced upon 1 her counte
nance, was very, beautiful to Took upon,
The moment they entered the room, Mr.
Fitzgammon rose from his seat—and
squeezed the hand of Miss Clara, and tofo.
her she looked lovely, and “very foine.”
In the course of the evening, he ventured
to say she was a charming girl, fit to be
the wife of a lord, and he meant what he
said,’pon honor.
Maria was present at the party, and
her aunt availed herself of an early oppor
tunity to ask her how she would like the
attention of such a man as Mr. Fitzgam
mon.
“Best at a distance,” said she, “ I could
not endure such a bandbox dandy, whose
head is as empty gs his hat.”
“ You rude thing, how dare you speak
so disparagingly of my company in toy
own house ?”
“ Why, aunt,: he has been winking at
me most impertinently through hi* quiz*
zing glags. He is not a gentleman and
ought to be requested to leave the
house. . If he dues not, by ; your permis
sion I will retire to, my room.
“ I suppose you are anxious to see the
journeyman printer, 1 but if he dares to
show his face within reach of a poker, I
wi|l drive him into the street. I have a
will and a way to punish upstarts who do
not know their own place: and have no
regard for the higher order of society.
At a late hour that night, or rather at
an early hour the next rooming, the party,
broke up ; but unfortunate Mr. Fitzgam-
I mon had partaken too freely of wine, and
| sober John was nominated and appointed
i a committee of one to lead the eminent
| stranger to his lodgings.
! 'I he next day it was rumored in dif
| ferent parts of the city, that a lord, duke,
knight or earl, or something else had fallen
in: love with Miss Mullih, the broker’s
| daughter. Maria received a severe caud
| ling from her aunt, and ditto from her
j dear cousin, because she spoke .sq con
■ temptuously of Mr. Fitzgammun.
[ * Miss Mullin’s jealousy induced her to
| believe that several young ladies were hot
j only smitten but deep in love with the
j golden calf she worshipped, and in order
to make sure of the idol of her affections,
she and her parents went to work in good
earnest to bring about a match and have
the parties united in matrimonial alliance.
The landlord to whom Mr. Fitzgam
mon was indebted for board and borrowed
money, did not press his claims, for fear
he might lose a customer.
In a short time arrangements were
made for the wedding. Milliners, tailors,
shoemakers, and confectioners, were all
busy at work. The day selected, the
guests were invited, and all the interested
parties were on the tiptoe of anticipation,
when an event occurred which is related
as follows:
“Wife, did you see the new paper?”
“ Yes, I saw it, but you know as
well as I do, that I have no time to
read newspapers. Clara is to be married
next Monday, and I shall have to be as
busy as a dress-maker, oncut a sorry figure
at the wedding.”
“ But here is a fist pointing to a para
graph about Mr. Fitzgammon, the distin
guished foreigner.”
“ Do read it, pa,” said Clara, smiling,
“ 1 knew he would make a noise in the
world! A man of his rank in society,
having such a princely fortune, and a
variety oi accomplishments, such fascinat
ing manners and such- superb talents,
cannot fail to make a great sensation
among the people competent to appreciate
his genius. Let us hear it, pa.”
“We have received the Loncfon Times.”
“ Hear this, ma, the news is from
England. I suppose my jealour
saint of a cousin, who told me she be
lieved somebody to be an imposter, will
see her mistake.”
Do let me read without interruption,
if you please.”
“We received, by last night’s mau, a
copy of the London Times, which con
tained the following Startling and unex
pected announcement; ‘John Gammon,
who was a servant in the Service of Wm.
Fitz, Esq., has robbed hismother of'con
siderable 'clothing and jewelry, and it is
supposed he has sailed for America. He
is about thirty years, of age, of medium
size, has dark eyes, coarse curly hair, and
a scar on his left cheek, which re
ceived from the watchman who arrested
him in the act of whipping bis wife. One
hundred pounds shall be given to the
person who secures the thief.’ Fariy this
morning, one of our efficient police offi
cers read the announcement and at once
put the Fitz and Gammon together, went to j
the hotel where he found a sleeping beauty
with a scar on his left cheek, and the
name ,of Fitz on some silver spoons in his
trunk. He awoke and arrested Mr. Gam
mon, and escorted hint to jail.”
Clara fainted when she heard the sad
tidings, and after she came to her senses,
she 1 exclaimed: “O, ma, O, pal—what
shall I dot My dresses me made, gur
friends are invited, everybody will laugh
at ine! I wish I could be shut up in a
nunnery.
What a villain he j must be,” said
Mrs. Mullin. “He has a wife now living,
he luia been stealing I shouldn’t
wohder if he stole that silver spoon off the
mantle-piece, fur I missed it the day after
he first called here, t hope the authori
ties will bang him by the neck until he is
choked to death.”
“ Mr. Mullins, who is the editor of that
paper t”
“ Mr. George Raymond.”
“I wonder if that is the young man
who gallanted Maria to meeting that
Sunday?” V
“I suppose it is,” said Mr. Mullins.
“ Well, go apd ask him ‘concerning the
particulars of this angular and most un
happy affair.”
Hr. Hollins went to the office and en
quired if Mr. Raymond was in.
7‘ No, sir,” was the answer; “he has
gojao to the Stale House!. He has re
cently been elected to the Senate, and
consequently spends much of his time in
the Senate Chamber.”
:Is this Mr, Raymond the young man
EDITORS AND PROPRIETORS.
who used to work in the brick building \
across the wayt”
“Y 59, sir.”
“ When he returns, give my compli
ments to him, And Say my name is . Mul
lins, and that; all the members of my
family would be happy to see him.”
Mr. Mullins returned and informed the
family that the journeyman ’ printer had
become not-only an editor, but also a
prominent member of the Senate, and that
the news respecting Mr. Fitzgammon was
also too true.
The intelligence spread like wild fire
through the city, and offered a .rich feast
for tale bearers and scandal mongers, and
those who cany the devil’s mail bag from
door to dopr, had their hands, hearts and
mouths full for a fortnight.
The Hon. Mr. Raymond—the low born
journeyman—the plebian printer who
belonged to the vulgar herd-called fre
quently to see the beautiful Maria Sedge
land ; and although Clara set her cap for
him, and tried all the skill of an, expe
rienced coquette, she failed to win the
printer, who became the happy husband
ofjjaria Sedgeland. Clara improved in
wisdom as she-advanced in years, and
finally became the contented wife of .a
worthy, respectable man, who worked as
a pressman in Mr. Raymond’s office.
MAXIMS FOB FAEMEBB.
Never enlarge your farm, when that
you now own is not half cultivated.
Do not buy fancy stock and pay fabu
lous prices, on the spur of the moment, or
without knowing why you want* it, and
bow you are to make the investment
profitable.
Do not keep poor stock when yon can
keep good at the same expense, and with
four times the profit. '
If you have a good location, do not sell
out, expecting to better it, because you
are offered a good price.
Be present with your hands as much as
possible, otherwise little work will be
lone, and that poorly. No business re
quires the muster's oversight more than
tanning.
Cultivate a little well rather than much
poorly. Who does not remember the
farmer who had two daughters t When
the first one married, he gave her ope
third of his vineyard, and yet he had as
many grapes as formerly; when the second
married, she took half the remainder for
her portion, and yet the yield of the
father’s share Was not lessened.
Keep ahead of your work, or your work
will keep ahead of you.
Invent your surplus earnings in making
such improvements as will add to the
profit, appearance and convenience of
your farm.
Be kind to those you employ, and to
all the animals you work.
Sell your produce when prices are high;
and if you do not need the money, keep it
when they are very low, , tinless it is cer
tain they will remain so.
Make your|»lf thoroughly, .acquainted
with the principles of' agriculture, ami be
guided by them. .Bead, travel* and ob
serve. ■ 1 .'
Take care of your tools when you get
through using them, and do not work
with poor ones when you can afford good
ones.
Do not buy old wagons, plows, har
rows, etc., at auction, because you think
they are cheap,'as it will not pay.
Do not beep more stock on your farm
than you have plenty of pasture for. N
If at Iforty-five you have Si fair property,
J 0 not work with your muscles so hard'as
but save the afternoon'of eajch
day for mental and social improvement.
Give your children a good education—
physically, intellectually, morally and
eociahy. ■ j
Use machinery and horse powef, where
possible, instead of human muscle.
In ail you do, if yon would work tot ad
vantage, endeavor to get. bold of the long
end of the lever instead of the short one.
Tenacity of Life*—A. few evenipgs
since there was a learned dissertation*—
subject: “ Bed-bugs and their Remarka
ble tenacity of life.” One asserted of bis
own knowledge that they could be boiled
and then come to life. Some hgd soiied
them for hours in turpentine without any
fatal consequences. Old Hanks, who bad
been listening as an outsider, here gave in
bis experience in corroboratiop of the
facts. Says he: Some years ago Itook a
bed-bug to an iron foundry, and drooped
it into a ladle where the melted iron was,
had it ran into a 'skillet. Well, my old
woman used that skillet pretty constant
tor the last six years, and here the other
day it got broke all to smash, and what
do you think, gentleman, that ’ere. insect
just walked out of bis hole, where be |«ad
been layin’ like a frog in a rock, and'made
tracks for bis old roost upstairs. Bit,”
added he, by the way of of parenthesis,
“ he Ipoked mighty pail”
•9* It be contended, without danger
of lnTtmiptii
wo«t eSfectind labor saying
that has ererbssa invented. -' ; T
♦
NO. 11