The Altoona tribune. (Altoona, Pa.) 1856-19??, November 14, 1861, Image 1

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•, Harper's Weekly, Ql«*oji,
*te" American, London Kn?
.Lady's Bepoeitory,
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cinity. Thor tHUveiwilßfort..
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uition iu the most popular sad
.wl fu the Country. Upward of
: from twenty-eight different
for business hero within the \
Mibm have beenemployed&• \t)
per Aunam,
II?. who know nothing of»c
-!: -Cill.g.’i. ■
prico, Stii.leaUcnler at uv
Jilokso, without extra charge.
. S|u oimcm of Pr<iC<hiwlgj;.
i-i.m.inship. and a large cugni
iwenlv-firo ccotaialWaga
SMITH, Pi«stnn S !i, P*.
Altoona and vicinity that he
indcee of
tries, Hats, Spices
expressly for the Holidays,
on hand a good stock of plain
of the year.
r. Molasses,
8- CORN iLE.IL, Jt O,"
n lars«. or >nutUqu»ntltf«'.
n; (lock. *ad yon will And
n tuwu. ;
tu and NewsDapot
> R. E.
aJI the heat literary Dammam)
* Philadelphia, KewTore atxi
oodaasortmtfDt of Baak*. AH
place and vjciiilfyalfrujs on
fCtionarins. arwl.fclUgc dtaavfcfl
the Krrt Tolwicoo
Nrttli a fin*
■» and other nrtitWof Jew*!-
H. FJfmNGfcR,
-Vo.l JttocmalfvHv.
of every
►t article fur.uiyjßHl
matters. the sub*
fOES :
ot-hIM (itocL and irwE
afWrßHow. ' • '
tan iJPjiiwtDW work, *ll ol
FftaiS&etlon. ' None bat tlw
|u£inia amt, jDnnediatelj
Ltet, .
- 1.
VOL. 0.
r V w -
New-York Benevolent Infirmary,
»„.l Unvoted to Tht Ojnteof Medical Beform; to the D\f ;
fu*iw of Medical Knowledge fur the I re.vctitujn of Uueatc, ,
«ml 10 the relief of those suffering and afflicted with Uiro- .
sod Viruleut Disorders. To this end tins Infirmary is |
f ujowed. to enahle the sick and suffering throughout the .
Isugih and breadth of our laud, to avoid the /ouonow ,
proas, Extortion, and Ignorance of pmfessed j
ilir.mgh which thousands and tens of thousands aunaally
‘ The following are some of tho diseases wo cure, not only
at the infirmary but in all-parts of our country :
Consumption and Pulmonary Complaints, Fevers, Scrof
ula Dyspepsia. Kye end Ear Disease. Cancers and other
Tii iiers Jaundice and LiverComplsint, Seminal It eakuess,
sad all diseases of the Urinary and Sexual Organs, from
ii nt'Ver cause or whatever nature. Our object will ho to
■•he lav to the afflicted by etfoctingin all cases a speedy cm*,*
Our rule is to charge notiling for advice and written ptc
.crir'iomK but will furnish when requested the very best
" medicines at the lowest rates. ~
These remedies are prepared in our own Laboratory, un
,l, r tho care of able Chemists, and are the most reliable
Luown to science, including all the recent diswvenes.
T„ all addressing us by tetter, containing full account of
symptoms aad appearances of disease, age, occupation, ic.,
will write a candid r iply, with advice and directions
I - enre Any fees-sent us when sending for advice will bo
,muted to furnishing medicine for the poor In all cases
r ,...liciuc can be sent by mail or express if desired. Send
Ir „ue or more of our works and Judge fur yourselves,
tlso pubUshcd at the Infirmary, to aid these objects,
Cruiiuuing eimplo remedies easily obtained for (he enro of
lP,e, s cs in all its forms, with foil explanations,of the
■causes, symptoms, diet, bathing and exercise. Price 50 cts.
A work on the cause, symptoms and treatment of all
cuiplaiuts peculiar to the ocx, ou marriage, its duties,
Sbortion ami its results, on Children, their ills, and on the
nrcn-nliou of conception, with I u valuable Instructions to
t*’em on subjects of ft private nature. Price 05 cents.
The Gentlemen’s Medical Companion,
and private adviser.
t look for the old and young, embracing the Pathology,
T( nt 'on and Cure of all Diseases of the Urinary and Sex
u'li Organs, and a warning voice of advice and counsel,such
Si to be found in uo other work. Price 25 ceute.
It exposes all the Humbugs, and the various Tricks to
entice the sick ami well. It illustrates the plans of the
Ouacks and Rogues to dupe every one. It guides the un
»irv through life, and shows up every swindle of the age.
U slums how all kinds of Food, Medicines, Liquors and
floods are adulterated, with the means of detecting the
frauds. Price 23 ceute. ■ ,
Tor everv family, having over 10U0 receipts on Cooking,
Pre-errinc. Dyeing, Cleaning, 4c.. How to plant and what
n die bust to raise. How to cure animals, advice tohouso
ieepers, farmers aud mechanics, ou 1000 subjects of iuter
price 25 cents. Worth $lO to auy one.
the consumptives book.
Per those who wish to get well from that awful disease,
n full description of all the remedies used lor it, with a
careful statement of the results, aud other useful informa
tion. Price 10 cents. . ~ , ,
The information in them is not to be found in any works
- uUiaiied, nor obtainable from any other source. These
Koks are published ou fine white paper, and beautifully
1 Auv of the above works will,be mailed free, on receipt of
prre in stamps, or'mouey; or the whole in a handsomely
bound volume for one nutux. No family should be with
in them. They are illustrated with beautiful engravings,
and contain tile condensed experience of years.
Aor-vts Wasted for the above works, who can make $l6O
a month. Svud tor a circular for agents.
To tlie youug ot both scies suffering from secret habits;,
prostration of mind; loss of power; nervous debility: loss
of sight; wakefulness; love of solitude: eruptions on the
far-*. Ac., 4c. Send hrjure it is M late ; before yon suffer
incurable damage to both body and mind.
To Females who want sn/e, pkiuanl and sure remedies
for Irregularities, Obstructions, Whites, 4c, send to us.
Wo are convince*! that there are many parents of *crofu-
I -m. consumptive aud diseased condition to.whom a un
in-Muu offspring only brings goffering and poverty. To
-ucli wo would say write, ami wo will scud information of
r sure, well*tCBt«l y and jievwfcuimg Preventive.
\Vc will mail free, to any one applying fur it,
U is a large and beautiful paper, and contains the most
valuable information on SpernmtorlKea, or Seminal Weak
m ag. Tha cause, effects and cure, .showing the awful ef
u eta of the disease, s A # „ '
Oq all other diseases of the Sexual Organs, a full expla
nation ofthe origin of SypUiiln, tUo means of frrvrution
“.nd cure. > a. .
Un Consumption, that fearful disease.
Od the Liver, Heart, Stomach and Skin,
On Female Complaints. ' 1
Ou the various Schools of Medicines.
Ou ti e modes of Treatment now practised.
On the False Treatment of Diseases.
On the various Medical Humbugs.
On the Physiology of Marriage.
On tho Common sense of Medicine.
On Diet, Exercises,' apfl Ablution.
How the Physician should be.
How to prevent Pregnancy.
And maov other things. SEsnrpßiT.
This journal should be In the hands of every one.
J. Hi'sSEtL, M. D., A. Chief Physician. S. S.Mobbis,
Brecon. Dr;J, Bojde, Chemist.
Office in New YorW. 1W Chambers street.
Office in WllUamsburgh, South Bth and Sth streets.
Correspondents will please enclose two or three stamps
f.r return postage, and address
DR. A. BERNEY, Secretary.
Williamsburg, New York.
i. {Box Ul.)
Kot. 15, ISCO.-ly .
stant practice, c»n ho consulted at the Altoona
House, Mr. John Wood’d, vl?,.: — On Vie Ith qf June, Vie
8 th of July,and the Ith of August—he will then vacate for
3 monthe. Notice will, bo given in this paper wbeu he
commences his 'Winter’s Term again.
lie treats ail diseases that flesh Is heir to. He invites nil
fomales who may be suffering with diseases peculiar tc
thetrsox, to call and examine his new mode of treatment,
as thousands have been restored-to health who hare been
abandoned by others. He is in possession of perfect in
struments tot sounding tho longs and chest and is there
fore able to determine the exact condition of the vital or
rans—conseouently can treat such complaints with greater
safety attOeerUinty than It is possible for those who guess
at the disease and experiment for jts enre. He believes
that for every malady, there is ln ony soil a sure
and never-falling remedy. ... .....
Patients Can receive treatment for $5 pet month, except
in cases of Cancers and Tumon, they JSorTvnSmw t 0
$lOO. Examination free. DR. W. I^VWGBTON.
N. 8.-Sce Handbills. [May 8, ’6l.
if - IK6 located permanently in Altoona, respectfully
offers his serrlce* in the different department* of
Smgieal and Mechanical Dentistry.
Office nearly oppoeite C. Jaggard’s Store* Virginia •JnAl*
toooa, Pa. [May In, 6l*tf.
v / PLE, next door to the Post Office.
Teeth extracted without the Current Electro*
Magnetic Machine.
Wall Paper and Border.
of the
JjjtteMi.ed, which will he sold cheaper than ever by
Much il, 1881-tf. J, i J. LOWTUEP.
B. B. McCBDBf, , IH. C. DEKN,
ronusiutks sun raoPEikioas.
Par annum, (payable Invariably in advaneo,) sl^o.
All papers diaeoatinued at tin expiration of tbe time
paid for
J Insertion 2 do. S do.
Poor line® or low $ $' JJJJ
One square, ( 8 lines) - W J J®
« ns « ) 1 00 1 : 60 2 00
Three '< (24 “ ) 1 w 2 .-00 2 60
Over three weeks and less than three months, 26 cents
per square for eaph insertion.
3 months. 0 months. 1 year.
...$ 160 $BOO $6OO
... 2 60 4 00 7 00
... 4 00 6 00 10 00
... 5 00 8 00 * 12 00
~ ,*OO 10 bo 14 00
,;'lO U 00 2» 00
Six Hites or leat.
One 5quare........
Two “
Throe “
Four “
Half a column...
One column ,14
Administrators and Kxeculots Notices
Merchants advertising by the year, three squares*
with liberty to change. 10 00
Professional or Business Cards, mot exceeding o
lines with paper, per year....;
.Communications of a political- :liar«cter or individual in*
terest will bo charged according to the above rates.
Advertisement not piarkcd’witli the number of inser
tions desired, will be'cdotinued till forbid and charged ac
cording to the above terms. '
Business notices five cents per line for every insertion.
Obituary notices exceeding ten line!*, fifty cents a square
Select |.)odrj).
They arc all in the army
My three brave, galliot boys;
They've changed the peace of home life
For martial pomp ainl joys. ' J ■■
It tore my heart-strings sadly . r ~
To see them march away;
But when their country called them,
I coaid not them say: nay.
There's one that grasps a true sword*
Commissioned to command,
There'* one within the ranks found
With musket iu his Jmud;.
There’s one, and he my youngest,
Whose stirring drum doth beat
The faultless, martial measure
For proudly stepping feet.
* Their Cithers fought before them
On many a bloody plain—
At Eric and at Chippewa,
At York And Lundy** Lane,
O, may bisapirit nervothem
When in.the battle'* brunt;
For should.they fall, I’ll know then
They bear their wounds in front.
God shield my three brave darlings
Throughout these crimson wars!;
God help them in, defepdime '
Odr good ohl Stripes and Stars!
God speed them on theil* mission
To quell the pebel foe!
With strength that each arch-traitor
May need no second blow.
And when my youngest boy beats
The load long roll s* night,
That tells of foes advancing,
And bids them arm for fight.
Cod give unto my other boys,
Amid the battle’s flame, s
To one—a dashing soul to lead,
' To one-unerring aim.
The list of slain and, wofinded
I’ll read with trombting breathV
To see how many darling sous
Have met untimely death-
Aad should mine be among them,
Ahd fell they there like braves*
I would oot wish them holier death,'
Nor ask them prouder gVuves.
When Nature wears her russet gown*
And swaHows to tho South have ftywjn—*
When grapes turn purple on the wall,
And from the bough* the ripe pear* lull—
When lambs and sheep grow thickwith Woolj
Then autumn’s lap with fruit Is full;
When Cora U gathered In the barn,
And reeda are rattling in the taru—
When partridges in conveys fly,
And.dogs and men are company—■.
When squirrels fill tbelr nutty store,
Then Autumn’s morn with frost I* hoar.
When, sleep-mice hide their sleek;.fat forms,-
And deep in ckrth ringed worms —
When,leaves coino rustling down Yrom trees,
And flies the cattle cease to tease* .
Then oak his sturdy arms doth ban*,
To battle with tho Mutuum air. {
When silent robins beg for crumbs,
, And old man fumble with their thumbs—
When fires show again in halls,
And bata hook on to dark, warm walls,
Then cold winds whistle o'er the uioor,
And Autumn shuts the summer door.
H>dtd pisiddlattg.
“ I don’t seo how HoltneS does' it;” skid
John Stetson, with a puzzled expression.
“Does what?” asked his wife looking
up from her sewing.
“ Why save so much motiey from his
salary, to be sure.”
“ Then he does save, does he ?”
“ You know the half-acre lot adjoining
his house.”
“Well, he has just bought it for one
hundred dollars, and, what is more, paid
for it out of money saved from his salary
this year."
“How does his salary compare with
yours.” . .
“He has only seven hundred dollars a
year, while I have eight hundred dollars.,
Then pur families are the same; each of
us have two children.” I
“Yet 1 am afraid you don’t save near
that amount”
“ No/1 guess not. The fact is, if I
find myself square at the end of the year,
I think myself lucky.”
’ “ And yet, John, ’ said his wife gtavoly,
“it seems to me as if we ought to lay up
something.” ;
“ It is easy enough to say that j but the
question is, how are we' going to do it?
There’s Mary’s music lessons at 810 a
quarter. That’s the only way I can think
of: and I should’nt want to stop these.”
. “ No, of course not, but isn’t there any
other way ?"
“ Not, that I know of.”
“ Don’t you think, John, the little inci
dental expenses amount to more than you
think for ?” j
“ Such as what ?” §
“ Cigars, ice-cream, oysters, the theatre,
and so on.”
“ John Stetson winced a little.
26 00 40 00
1 76
“ They arc mere trifles,” said he care
lessly. “A few cents each time. ; Pooh !
they would make precious little difference
at the end of the year.” /
“ You know there’s an old proverb—
‘ Many a little makes a muckle.’ ”
“ Pshaw ! I hate proverbs. Besides,
these little things are of really very little
account. A man doesn’t feel the sum he
pays out, and if it didn’t go in one way,
it would in another.”
“ How many cigars do you smoke
daily,” pursued his wife.
“ Three.” i
And how much do you pay for them.”
“ Four cents apiece ?" -
“ That would make twelve cents,”
“ And what’s twelve cents ?’
“ Not much, in itself ; but multiplied
by a larger number it amounts to some
“ What aro you driving at, wife ?”
“ I am going to make a proposition to
“ I’m all attention.”
‘(You say you don’t mind a few cents a
“ Of coursb not.” K
“ Then I propose that a small box be
obtained, with : a slit in the lid, just like
the children’stin savings’ boxes, in short,
only larger; and that for you spend
for cigars, ice-cream, theaters or any such
luxury, you deposit an equal sum in the
box.” ;
John Stetson laughed
“ I dare say,” be remarked, “it would
bring me but a perfect Croesus at the end
of the year,”
“Do you agree? asked his wife, with
some appearance of anxiety. _
“Yes, I have no great objection, if you
desire it, though .1 acknowledge it seems
a little foolish and childish.”-
“ Never niind about that. I have your
promise, and we’ll try the experiment one
year. If it doesn’t amount to enough to
make it an object, then it will be be time
to give it up.”
“ You must take all the trouble of it.
I can’t engage to do anything about it,
except to furnish the money when it is
called for”’ i
“ That is all I shall require of you. —:
But I shall require you to give an account
every night of all that you have disbursed
in the ways I spoke of, and to be prepared
with an equal amount 'of change for de
“ Very well, I’ll try.”
“ This conversation took place at the
.breakfast-table. Having drained his sec
ond cup of ! coffee, John Stetson put on 1
his overcoat! add took his way to his place
of business! Jl may as well mention in
this connection, that he was cashier of a
bank, and as his duties occupied him only
a few hours! in the day, he was more likely
from the leisure Which ho enjoyed, to in
i d'ulge in small expenses,
j “My wife is an he,
las he was walking down town. “ How
| ever,- her hobby won’t cost much so I
might as Well indulge her it) it.”
He stepped into a store and obtained
his daily allowance of cigars.
Meanwhile Mrs. Stetson proceeded to
the shop of a cabinet-maker.
“ I want you,” said she, “to make me
a mahogany box, twelve inches long, the
other dimensions being four inches each.
In thfe centre of the top is to be a slit,
large enough to admit the largest silver
coin.” ; 1
“ A money boxj” said the cabinet-ma
! ‘ cfe
“ Yes.”
“ Pretty large for that- ia’nt it?”
“ Rather,” said Mrs. Stetson, smiling;
“ but better too large than too small.”
John Stetson fell in with a companion
in the afternoon, with whom he had a
social chat. As they were walking leis
urely along, they passed an oyster saloon.’'
Stetsnri was particularly fond of the bi
valves and he proposed they should go in
and take some.
To this his friend did not demurj.and
they accordingly entered. Two plates of
oysters: came to twenty-five cents, lie
sides they took a glass of ale each, which
made twelve cents more. This brought a
bill of'thirty-seven cents, which Stetson
paid. ■ Accordingly, adding to this twelve
cents for cigars, he deposited forty-nine
cents into his wife’s hand that evening.
“ I might as well make it fifty” said he
smiling. ■ I ; 4 .
“ No,” said she, “ not a cent over. I
want the savings to represent exactly
what yon spend on these little luxuries
1 and no more.”
, The next evening he had nothing, to
deposite except, the usual amount for ci
. “It won’t mount up very fast at that
rate” said he triumphantly.
“ Never mind” said, his wife, “ I don’t
wan’t you to increase your expenditures
on my account. 1 am inclined to think
they will not be always as small as this.”
She was right,
The next day, being Wednesday, John
Stetson brought home a couple of tickets
for the theatre. It was a benefit - night
and he was anxious that his .wife should
“ Certainly,” said she “I shall be glad
to go, but you remember our compact ?”
“ How much did you pay for the tick
“ Fifty cents apiece.”
“ That will make a dollar. Please
hand me that amount for our fund.”
“ Was the theatre included,” said John
a little reluctantly.
“Certainly. That was expressly men
“ Oh, very well, so let it be, here is a
silver dollar. N
The dollar was dropped at once into the
The next day, in passing a shop window
Stetson noticed some fine oranges.
“Just what Mary and the children
would like” thought he, “I’ll go and in
quire the price.”
They were four cents apiece. He
bought four at the cost of a quarter, which
with his cigar money, left him thirty-seven
cents to deposit.
The succeeding day he spent nothing,
except for some cigars. On Saturday, he
stepped into a confectionary establishment
with a friend, and had a lunch. This
brought that day’s account up to 40 cents.
When his wife added up the daily sums
she found to her own surprise even, that
she had received from her husband two
dollars and sixty-two cents. lie would
have been astonished to hear it, but she
thought it best not to say anything about
it. He would have alleged that it was a
special case, as they did uot go to the the
atre every week. This was true; but then
something else was sure to come of equiv
alent cost, such as a ride or a concert.
So time slipped away. The necessity,
according to the compact, of giving his
wife as much as he spent for incidental
expenses, no doubt contributed to check
him somewhat, so that, probably he did
uot spend more than two-thirds as much
in this as he bad done before the agree-’
ment. Still he kept up the average of
the first week.
We will now suppose the yeas to have
glided by. John Stetson came into the
room with a pro-occupied air.
“ What arc you thinking about ? asked
his wife.
“ About the half-acre lot adjoining the
ohe Holmes bought last year.”
“ Do you wish to purchase it.”
“ Yes I should like to; but of course I
can’t, not having the money.”
“ How much do they ask for it ?”
“ Holmes paid a hundred dollars for his.
This is on gome accounts preferable, and
they hold it at one hundred and twenty
five dollars.”
“Perhaps you can raise the money,
John,” said his wife quietly.
“By borrowing. I shouldn’t want to
do that.”
“ You remember our fund „
“Pshaw! that may possibly amount to
thirty or forty dollars.”
“Suppose wc count it as the year is up
“ Very well.” ,
The box was opened and husband and
wife commenced counting. They soon
reached and passed forty dollars.
“ Bless my soul!” said John Stetson, “T
had no idea there was so much.”
What was his astonishment when the
total proved to be one hundred and twen
ty-nine dollars arid forty cents!
“You see you can buy the lot.”
“ But haven’t you swelled the amount
from your own allowance?” he asked some
what bewildered.
“ Not a cent; and don't you see, John;
that if you had refrained from even half
of the little expenses wc spoke of, we
might have had in the neighborhood of
two hundred dollars.”
John Stetson did sec it, and be deter
mined that the lesson should be a service
able one. The hall-acre lot was bought,,
and now, at the end of the five years it
was worth double what he paid for it.—
He has also laid aside 8200 a year, during
this period and all by sntall savings.
“Why, Charley,” said a Yankee to a
negro preacher, “can you tell roe who
made the monkey?” “Oh, yes I can,
massa, Why, massa, de same one made
de monkey dat made you.”
Teacher —“Toby, what did th«j Israel
ites do when they crossed the Kfed Sea ?”
Tuly— tl I don’t know, ma’am, but I
guess they dried themselves.”
We wonder if any one ever picked
up a tear that was dropped ?
IS THEBE love in jealousy p
Bill Williamson’s wife took tea at my
house, last Thursday night My. wife,
Emma, and she, are old acquaintances.—
In fact, they were girls together. Mrs.
Williamson's baptismal name is Margaret
Emma always calls her Maggie, Every
thing went off very pleasant at the tea
table. The girls—l always pall; them
girls, though they are both married and
mothers—the girls . passed most of the
time in a comic discussion about jealousy.
They both insisted that jealousy was a
constituent of true love. I threw doubt
upon the proposition. My argument was
that sincere connubial affection was un
bounded trust. Suspicion was the Canker
that gnawed away love. ,
“ If I once distrusted my Emma,” said
I, gazing at her tenderly, “there would
be ait end of my regard.”
“ Nonsense,” responded Mrs; William
son. *
I was nettled at her cart reply, bat held
my temper. I have long known the folly
of argument with women.. Corner them
with logic, and they escape youf grasp hy
some irritating and personal attack. Be
sides, I like Mrs. Maggie. During’Em
tna’s last sickness, she watched at her
bedside, till-her cheek grew pale, and her
rounded figure became as thin as a skel
eton. >
“ I tell you, Bobby, Maggie; is right,”
said my Emma, in a most provoking man
ner. So I collapsed and held my tongue.
Yet 1. was wounded at the result of the
contest where positiveness and bold as
sumption were arrayed against cold ratio- j
cination. j
Happening to recollect that Tom Wil- j
loughby had suggested a rubber of whist
at Iris house, I told the girls I believed I
would go round to Tom’s. I found Tom
and his wife and mother-in-law, awaiting
my coming. I preferred Rebecca Wil
loughby for a partner, .and good naturedly
intimated my preference j but it seems the
matter had all been arranged before my
coming. I ' ;
I have no objections to old' Mrs. Crolr
lop, except she wears spceZ, and is so
cross over the, game. If I make misplay
she pitches into means if 1 had committed
a grievous sin. Her sharp scolding makes
me as nervous as a consumptive'girl.
I reckon we must have bedu playing
about an hour when the front: door bell
emitted a .nervous tinkle* Mrs. Crollop
was in fine spirits at the time. She had
just exhausted the trumps and laws ma
king a fine headway with her commanding
suit of hearts.
Rebecca sprang up to go to the door:
“ Now sit down, Becky, till this hand
is played out,” said Mrs Crollcip 1 , peremp
torily. ;
“No Ma,” said Mrs. Willoughby,” it is
impolite to keep people waiting; at the
door,” and off went Mrs. Willoughby.
“ There sir,” said the, old lady, turning
sharply to me, you see what comes pf
your slow playing! It’s too bad to be
tricked ont of the only good; hand I’ve
had to-night, If you’d played faster sir,
we’d have won the game. You’re a —’’
But just then Mrs. Willoughby entered
the room followed by my wife Emma.
After them came a dapper and genteel
looking yo t ung fellow, whom my wife in
troduced as Mr. Tebbs. She said Tebbs
was a cousin of her dear friend, Maggie
Williamson’s who' had just arrived froin
the mountains. She also, said that Tebbs
and she had seen Maggie home* and she
had bogged Tebbs to accompany her to
Mrs. Willoughby’s.
“And Bobby, dear,” she continued,
“ don’t you tbink George is amazingly
like Maggie ?” _•
The resemblance' was certainly very
strong; but what puzzled me was the sud
den intimacy that had sprung up between
the young stranger and my wife.
I confcss I was a little amazed at Em
ma’s, speaking of him as George. To
show my reprobation I stated, with much
dignity, that I was pleased to form the ac
quaintance of Mr. Tebbs.
I took particular pains to emphasize the
name of the individual, and especially the
word “ Mister.” ; _ ;
Amazement sprang into indignation as
the impertinent coxcomb turned hastily
to me and exclaimed, “ Come, Bobby, old
fellow, sit down and fjnish your game.—'
I want to say d few sweet things to Em
{t Old Mrs. Crollop caught the nipt at
once, “Yes,” said she, " let the young
people talk while we conclude our game.
Diamonds are trumps I believe and it’s
my lead.”
Well, I did sit down, while I felt the
perspiration of rage oozing from every
pore. Under any other circumstances I
would have knocked'the man down, but I
was in the house of a friend, and I had
no business to make a scene there.
The Lord only knbws how I managed
to eke out of the game.; I know Mrs-
Crollop was prolific in epithets, Stupid
was the. mildest tom she applied to me.—
X was gradually straightening myself into
some soft of self-possossiooj when some
thing like a sharp labial articulation was
beard in the room.
“ What’s that ?” exclaimed old Mrs.
Crollop. I suddenly turned round to the
corner occupied by Tebbs aid Emma, and
aa true as 1 live, Tfebb’s ami were encir
cling my wife’s form, while bis-lips were
glued to her’s in spasmodic kissing.
“ Ha! ha 1” I snouted with demoniac
intonation, “ ha ! ha!”
I sprang towards the guilty pur, seized
Tebbs by the coat tail and swting him
against the card table. The impetus I
gave Tebbs precipitated the table on the
old lady, and Tebbs and table and the
old lady rolled oyer on the floor in one
confused mass.
With the fury of a fiend I turned upon
my wife, “ Perfidous and faithless wo
man,” I almost roared, “ taint not the
abode of virtue with your shameless pres
ence. Leave at 'once and take your vile
paramour with you. And yet I love you
—your Jealous Bobby loves you!” I said
this in a heart-broken tone.
“Doyon, Bobby?” queried she. “Then
Maggie, let’s go.”
Tebbs had meanwhile arisen from his
recumbent position. Tebbs, fn fact, was
Maggie Williamson.
Emma and Tebbs left arm in arm. I
Mrs. Crollop, as I passed oat of the door,
called me a “ sickly fool.”
Perhaps there is jealbusy in love.
After the Battle.—A volunteer who
Was in the fight at Predericktown, Mo.,
gives A graphic picture of the battle field
after the fight was over:—
“In rcturing, I passed through the
field where Coh Lowe’s command was en
gaged in battle. This field, away to the
left, was about as large as one of our
blocks in the city. 1 never shall forget
’ this sight as long as I live.. It was the
most awful spectacle I ever looked upon.
Men, dead and dying, were strewn in all
directions, shattered, torn and mangled.
I counted one hundred and forty-two dead
men on that one field. Most of them
were shot in the head. Col. Lowe was
shot right in the forehead, and his brains
were all running out. He was a power
ful man and a brave one. Ho bad thrown
off his coat and rolled up his shirt sleeves
for the fight. His body bad been com
pletely stripped of everything valuable.
I wanted something as a trophy, go I dis
mounted and found a little flute, the only
thing left on him. The most singular
thing I saw was a man who was shot while
getting over a fence, and whose body re
mained upon the top of it. I counted
seven bullet holes in his body. I saw an
other man with one half of his bead gone.
Bat I will not recite more of these shock
ing details. 1 know I never shall forget
them. '
Personal Security.—“ Will you do
me a favor ?” said young George Brooks
to his wealthy friend, Simon Hanson.
“ What is it George V’ said Hanson.
“ I wish you to lend me n hundred dol
lars, sir.”
“ Call at my counting-house,” rejoined
George was not long in paying his res
‘• What security can you give me,
young man ?”
“ My own personal seeurity, sir.”
“Very well, get in here,” said Hanson
lifting up the lid of a large iron chest.,,
“ Get in here,” exclaimed George in
astonishment. “ What for ?”
“ Why, this is the place where I always
keep my securities.”
-——lt has become quite a practice in
the South to present commanding officers
with race horses well known for thdir su
perior speed. A cotemporary thinks it
looks suspicious, to say the least, to see
a general mounted oh a very fast horse on
a battle field. Perhaps a Bull Bun affair
is anticipated on the other side.
Underground Railroad.— The Rich
mond “ Enquirer” says. “We have been
requested to state that the original under
ground railroad to Maryland has resumed
its trips, with every prospect of uninter
rupted: success. It will run tri-weekly.”
An Irishman just from the sod
was eating some cheese, when he found to'
his dismay that it contained living inhab
itants. ‘‘By jabors,” said he, “does
yonr chase have children?”
“ls anybody waiting on yon ? J> said
a polite dry goods clerk to a girl from the
country. “ Yes, air,” said she, blushing,
“ that’s my feller outside. Ho would not
conic in.”
tSgp-A Chicago paper having said the
secessionists tfore in league With_ hell.
Pjentice suggests that they arc within loss
than a league of it.
tOSr Whenever a golden wedding is go l
ing on, almost every young lady WWad be in the ring—or rather to have
a finger jo it. -
■■■ -A great noise is a din, huth noon
repast is dinner. . irna
1 Mt. Atlas ißhigh,butwages pehue
NO. 41;