'IE 1R J ’S JS^.l| » ■ eS k“5 O B i T O 01-fi W' M !3 OS'S m ■„, fe £'* y* kJ S'! • M J 2 gk3 e: B , ■''■oo® rt i : | ' ii ; 4,60 uition iu the most popular sad .wl fu the Country. Upward of : from twenty-eight different for business hero within the \ Mibm have beenemployed&• \t) per Aunam, II?. who know nothing of»c -!: -Cill.g.’i. ■ prico, Stii.leaUcnler at uv Jilokso, without extra charge. . S|u oimcm of PrnutUqu»ntltf«'. n; (lock. *ad yon will And n tuwu. ; JACOB WISEi tu and NewsDapot SEGAE, TOBACCO, «5i VARIETY > R. E. KH CONTINUES to aJI the heat literary Dammam) * Philadelphia, KewTore atxi oodaasortmtfDt of Baak*. AH place and vjciiilfyalfrujs on fCtionarins. arwl.fclUgc dtaavfcfl the Krrt Tolwicoo Nrttli a fin* ■» and other nrtitWof Jew*!- H. FJfmNGfcR, -Vo.l JttocmalfvHv. ESTION WHICH of every ►t article fur.uiyjßHl matters. the sub* fOES : ot-hIM (itocL and irwE ■ir»»*orU>)ent afWrßHow. ' • ' tan iJPjiiwtDW work, *ll ol FftaiS&etlon. ' None bat tlw |u£inia amt, jDnnediatelj OOIINJa.ROBX^TS. roceryStore, Ell KEEPS .CON- BARS and4OBAOOCV Ltet, . JCE6^®ETB^ Orim»«odiS^lß*h - 1. i JfiKRM^GK'S^ McOEUM & BERN, VOL. 0. AND r V w - r^ORIIS. FJtEE. New-York Benevolent Infirmary, ESTABLISHED ISM, . I »„.l Unvoted to Tht Ojnteof Medical Beform; to the D\f ; fu*iw of Medical Knowledge fur the I re.vctitujn of Uueatc, , «ml 10 the relief of those suffering and afflicted with Uiro- . sod Viruleut Disorders. To this end tins Infirmary is | f ujowed. to enahle the sick and suffering throughout the . Isugih and breadth of our laud, to avoid the /ouonow , proas, Extortion, and Ignorance of pmfessed j ilir.mgh which thousands and tens of thousands aunaally ‘ The following are some of tho diseases wo cure, not only at the infirmary but in all-parts of our country : Consumption and Pulmonary Complaints, Fevers, Scrof ula Dyspepsia. Kye end Ear Disease. Cancers and other Tii iiers Jaundice and LiverComplsint, Seminal It eakuess, sad all diseases of the Urinary and Sexual Organs, from ii nt'Ver cause or whatever nature. Our object will ho to ■•he lav to the afflicted by etfoctingin all cases a speedy cm*,* Our rule is to charge notiling for advice and written ptc .crir'iomK but will furnish when requested the very best " medicines at the lowest rates. ~ These remedies are prepared in our own Laboratory, un ,l, r tho care of able Chemists, and are the most reliable Luown to science, including all the recent diswvenes. T„ all addressing us by tetter, containing full account of symptoms aad appearances of disease, age, occupation, ic., will write a candid r iply, with advice and directions I - enre Any fees-sent us when sending for advice will bo ,muted to furnishing medicine for the poor In all cases r ,...liciuc can be sent by mail or express if desired. Send Ir „ue or more of our works and Judge fur yourselves, tlso pubUshcd at the Infirmary, to aid these objects, TEE FAMILY PHYSICIAN, Cruiiuuing eimplo remedies easily obtained for (he enro of lP,e, s cs in all its forms, with foil explanations,of the ■causes, symptoms, diet, bathing and exercise. Price 50 cts. THE LADIES’ MEDICAL FRIEND. tND THE PHYSIOLOGY ON MAP.UIAOE. A work on the cause, symptoms and treatment of all cuiplaiuts peculiar to the ocx, ou marriage, its duties, Sbortion ami its results, on Children, their ills, and on the nrcn-nliou of conception, with I u valuable Instructions to t*’em on subjects of ft private nature. Price 05 cents. The Gentlemen’s Medical Companion, and private adviser. t look for the old and young, embracing the Pathology, T( nt 'on and Cure of all Diseases of the Urinary and Sex u'li Organs, and a warning voice of advice and counsel,such Si to be found in uo other work. Price 25 ceute. THE GUIDE AN-P guard FOB BVEttT ON**. It exposes all the Humbugs, and the various Tricks to entice the sick ami well. It illustrates the plans of the Ouacks and Rogues to dupe every one. It guides the un »irv through life, and shows up every swindle of the age. U slums how all kinds of Food, Medicines, Liquors and floods are adulterated, with the means of detecting the frauds. Price 23 ceute. ■ , THE HOUSEHOLD AND FARM, PLANTATION AND SHOP. Tor everv family, having over 10U0 receipts on Cooking, Pre-errinc. Dyeing, Cleaning, 4c.. How to plant and what n die bust to raise. How to cure animals, advice tohouso ieepers, farmers aud mechanics, ou 1000 subjects of iuter price 25 cents. Worth $lO to auy one. the consumptives book. Per those who wish to get well from that awful disease, n full description of all the remedies used lor it, with a careful statement of the results, aud other useful informa tion. Price 10 cents. . ~ , , The information in them is not to be found in any works - uUiaiied, nor obtainable from any other source. These Koks are published ou fine white paper, and beautifully 1 Auv of the above works will,be mailed free, on receipt of prre in stamps, or'mouey; or the whole in a handsomely bound volume for one nutux. No family should be with in them. They are illustrated with beautiful engravings, and contain tile condensed experience of years. Aor-vts Wasted for the above works, who can make $l6O a month. Svud tor a circular for agents. To tlie youug ot both scies suffering from secret habits;, prostration of mind; loss of power; nervous debility: loss of sight; wakefulness; love of solitude: eruptions on the far-*. Ac., 4c. Send hrjure it is M late ; before yon suffer incurable damage to both body and mind. To Females who want sn/e, pkiuanl and sure remedies for Irregularities, Obstructions, Whites, 4c, send to us. PREVENTIVE. Wo are convince*! that there are many parents of *crofu- I -m. consumptive aud diseased condition to.whom a un in-Muu offspring only brings goffering and poverty. To -ucli wo would say write, ami wo will scud information of r sure, well*tCBt«l y and jievwfcuimg Preventive. \Vc will mail free, to any one applying fur it, THE JOURNAL OF MEDICAL REFORM U is a large and beautiful paper, and contains the most valuable information on SpernmtorlKea, or Seminal Weak m ag. Tha cause, effects and cure, .showing the awful ef u eta of the disease, s A # „ ' Oq all other diseases of the Sexual Organs, a full expla nation ofthe origin of SypUiiln, tUo means of frrvrution “.nd cure. > a. . Un Consumption, that fearful disease. Od the Liver, Heart, Stomach and Skin, On Female Complaints. ' 1 Ou the various Schools of Medicines. Ou ti e modes of Treatment now practised. On the False Treatment of Diseases. On the various Medical Humbugs. On the Physiology of Marriage. On tho Common sense of Medicine. On Diet, Exercises,' apfl Ablution. How the Physician should be. How to prevent Pregnancy. And maov other things. SEsnrpßiT. This journal should be In the hands of every one. J. Hi'sSEtL, M. D., A. Chief Physician. S. S.Mobbis, Brecon. Dr;J, Bojde, Chemist. Office in New YorW. 1W Chambers street. Office in WllUamsburgh, South Bth and Sth streets. Correspondents will please enclose two or three stamps f.r return postage, and address DR. A. BERNEY, Secretary. Williamsburg, New York. i. {Box Ul.) Kot. 15, ISCO.-ly . THE ROOT & HERB DOCTOR, FROM PHILADELPHIA, WHO HAS HAD 30 TSARS Con stant practice, c»n ho consulted at the Altoona House, Mr. John Wood’d, vl?,.: — On Vie Ith qf June, Vie 8 th of July,and the Ith of August—he will then vacate for 3 monthe. Notice will, bo given in this paper wbeu he commences his 'Winter’s Term again. lie treats ail diseases that flesh Is heir to. He invites nil fomales who may be suffering with diseases peculiar tc thetrsox, to call and examine his new mode of treatment, as thousands have been restored-to health who hare been abandoned by others. He is in possession of perfect in struments tot sounding tho longs and chest and is there fore able to determine the exact condition of the vital or rans—conseouently can treat such complaints with greater safety attOeerUinty than It is possible for those who guess at the disease and experiment for jts enre. He believes that for every malady, there is ln ony soil a sure and never-falling remedy. ... ..... Patients Can receive treatment for $5 pet month, except in cases of Cancers and Tumon, they JSorTvnSmw t 0 $lOO. Examination free. DR. W. I^VWGBTON. N. 8.-Sce Handbills. [May 8, ’6l. ■ T IRVIN STEEL, D. D. S., HAV if - IK6 located permanently in Altoona, respectfully offers his serrlce* in the different department* of Smgieal and Mechanical Dentistry. Office nearly oppoeite C. Jaggard’s Store* Virginia •JnAl* toooa, Pa. [May In, 6l*tf. WM. 8. BITTNER, - DENTAL SURGEON. fkFFICE IN THE MASONIC TEM v / PLE, next door to the Post Office. Teeth extracted without the Current Electro* Magnetic Machine. Wall Paper and Border. AN UNUSUALLY LARGE STOCK of the LATEST SPRING STYLES, JjjtteMi.ed, which will he sold cheaper than ever by Much il, 1881-tf. J, i J. LOWTUEP. THE ALTOONA TRIBUNE. B. B. McCBDBf, , IH. C. DEKN, ronusiutks sun raoPEikioas. Par annum, (payable Invariably in advaneo,) sl^o. All papers diaeoatinued at tin expiration of tbe time paid for TNKMB Or ADTMltlfilKQ J Insertion 2 do. S do. Poor line® or low $ $' JJJJ One square, ( 8 lines) - W J J® « ns « ) 1 00 1 : 60 2 00 Three '< (24 “ ) 1 w 2 .-00 2 60 Over three weeks and less than three months, 26 cents per square for eaph insertion. 3 months. 0 months. 1 year. ...$ 160 $BOO $6OO ... 2 60 4 00 7 00 ... 4 00 6 00 10 00 ... 5 00 8 00 * 12 00 ~ ,*OO 10 bo 14 00 ,;'lO U 00 2» 00 Six Hites or leat. One 5quare........ Two “ Throe “ Four “ Half a column... One column ,14 Administrators and Kxeculots Notices Merchants advertising by the year, three squares* with liberty to change. 10 00 Professional or Business Cards, mot exceeding o lines with paper, per year....; .Communications of a political- :liar«cter or individual in* terest will bo charged according to the above rates. Advertisement not piarkcd’witli the number of inser tions desired, will be'cdotinued till forbid and charged ac cording to the above terms. ' Business notices five cents per line for every insertion. Obituary notices exceeding ten line!*, fifty cents a square Select |.)odrj). THE HORTHERM MOTHER They arc all in the army My three brave, galliot boys; They've changed the peace of home life For martial pomp ainl joys. ' J ■■ It tore my heart-strings sadly . r ~ To see them march away; But when their country called them, I coaid not them say: nay. There's one that grasps a true sword* Commissioned to command, There'* one within the ranks found With musket iu his Jmud;. There’s one, and he my youngest, Whose stirring drum doth beat The faultless, martial measure For proudly stepping feet. * Their Cithers fought before them On many a bloody plain— At Eric and at Chippewa, At York And Lundy** Lane, O, may bisapirit nervothem When in.the battle'* brunt; For should.they fall, I’ll know then They bear their wounds in front. God shield my three brave darlings Throughout these crimson wars!; God help them in, defepdime ' Odr good ohl Stripes and Stars! God speed them on theil* mission To quell the pebel foe! With strength that each arch-traitor May need no second blow. And when my youngest boy beats The load long roll s* night, That tells of foes advancing, And bids them arm for fight. Cod give unto my other boys, Amid the battle’s flame, s To one—a dashing soul to lead, ' To one-unerring aim. The list of slain and, wofinded I’ll read with trombting breathV To see how many darling sous Have met untimely death- Aad should mine be among them, Ahd fell they there like braves* I would oot wish them holier death,' Nor ask them prouder gVuves. AUTUMN. When Nature wears her russet gown* And swaHows to tho South have ftywjn—* When grapes turn purple on the wall, And from the bough* the ripe pear* lull— When lambs and sheep grow thickwith Woolj Then autumn’s lap with fruit Is full; When Cora U gathered In the barn, And reeda are rattling in the taru— When partridges in conveys fly, And.dogs and men are company—■. When squirrels fill tbelr nutty store, Then Autumn’s morn with frost I* hoar. When, sleep-mice hide their sleek;.fat forms,- And deep in ckrth ringed worms — When,leaves coino rustling down Yrom trees, And flies the cattle cease to tease* . Then oak his sturdy arms doth ban*, To battle with tho Mutuum air. { When silent robins beg for crumbs, , And old man fumble with their thumbs— When fires show again in halls, And bata hook on to dark, warm walls, Then cold winds whistle o'er the uioor, And Autumn shuts the summer door. H>dtd pisiddlattg. SMALL SAVINGS. •A STOUT FOB THE TIMES, “ I don’t seo how HoltneS does' it;” skid John Stetson, with a puzzled expression. “Does what?” asked his wife looking up from her sewing. “ Why save so much motiey from his salary, to be sure.” “ Then he does save, does he ?” “ You know the half-acre lot adjoining his house.” “Yes.” “Well, he has just bought it for one hundred dollars, and, what is more, paid for it out of money saved from his salary this year." “How does his salary compare with yours.” . . “He has only seven hundred dollars a year, while I have eight hundred dollars., Then pur families are the same; each of us have two children.” I “Yet 1 am afraid you don’t save near that amount” “ No/1 guess not. The fact is, if I find myself square at the end of the year, I think myself lucky.” ’ “ And yet, John, ’ said his wife gtavoly, “it seems to me as if we ought to lay up something.” ; “ It is easy enough to say that j but the question is, how are we' going to do it? There’s Mary’s music lessons at 810 a quarter. That’s the only way I can think of: and I should’nt want to stop these.” . “ No, of course not, but isn’t there any other way ?" “ Not, that I know of.” “ Don’t you think, John, the little inci dental expenses amount to more than you think for ?” j “ Such as what ?” § “ Cigars, ice-cream, oysters, the theatre, and so on.” “ John Stetson winced a little. 26 00 40 00 1 76 “ They arc mere trifles,” said he care lessly. “A few cents each time. ; Pooh ! they would make precious little difference at the end of the year.” / “ You know there’s an old proverb— ‘ Many a little makes a muckle.’ ” “ Pshaw ! I hate proverbs. Besides, these little things are of really very little account. A man doesn’t feel the sum he pays out, and if it didn’t go in one way, it would in another.” “ How many cigars do you smoke daily,” pursued his wife. “ Three.” i And how much do you pay for them.” “ Four cents apiece ?" - “ That would make twelve cents,” “ And what’s twelve cents ?’ “ Not much, in itself ; but multiplied by a larger number it amounts to some thing.” “ What aro you driving at, wife ?” “ I am going to make a proposition to you.” “ I’m all attention.” ‘(You say you don’t mind a few cents a day.” “ Of coursb not.” K “ Then I propose that a small box be obtained, with : a slit in the lid, just like the children’stin savings’ boxes, in short, only larger; and that for you spend for cigars, ice-cream, theaters or any such luxury, you deposit an equal sum in the box.” ; John Stetson laughed “ I dare say,” be remarked, “it would bring me but a perfect Croesus at the end of the year,” “Do you agree? asked his wife, with some appearance of anxiety. _ “Yes, I have no great objection, if you desire it, though .1 acknowledge it seems a little foolish and childish.”- “ Never niind about that. I have your promise, and we’ll try the experiment one year. If it doesn’t amount to enough to make it an object, then it will be be time to give it up.” “ You must take all the trouble of it. I can’t engage to do anything about it, except to furnish the money when it is called for”’ i “ That is all I shall require of you. —: But I shall require you to give an account every night of all that you have disbursed in the ways I spoke of, and to be prepared with an equal amount 'of change for de posit.” “ Very well, I’ll try.” “ This conversation took place at the .breakfast-table. Having drained his sec ond cup of ! coffee, John Stetson put on 1 his overcoat! add took his way to his place of business! Jl may as well mention in this connection, that he was cashier of a bank, and as his duties occupied him only a few hours! in the day, he was more likely from the leisure Which ho enjoyed, to in i d'ulge in small expenses, j “My wife is an he, las he was walking down town. “ How | ever,- her hobby won’t cost much so I might as Well indulge her it) it.” He stepped into a store and obtained his daily allowance of cigars. Meanwhile Mrs. Stetson proceeded to the shop of a cabinet-maker. “ I want you,” said she, “to make me a mahogany box, twelve inches long, the other dimensions being four inches each. In thfe centre of the top is to be a slit, large enough to admit the largest silver coin.” ; 1 “ A money boxj” said the cabinet-ma ! ‘ cfe ker. “ Yes.” “ Pretty large for that- ia’nt it?” “ Rather,” said Mrs. Stetson, smiling; “ but better too large than too small.” John Stetson fell in with a companion in the afternoon, with whom he had a social chat. As they were walking leis urely along, they passed an oyster saloon.’' Stetsnri was particularly fond of the bi valves and he proposed they should go in and take some. To this his friend did not demurj.and they accordingly entered. Two plates of oysters: came to twenty-five cents, lie sides they took a glass of ale each, which made twelve cents more. This brought a bill of'thirty-seven cents, which Stetson paid. ■ Accordingly, adding to this twelve cents for cigars, he deposited forty-nine cents into his wife’s hand that evening. “ I might as well make it fifty” said he smiling. ■ I ; 4 . “ No,” said she, “ not a cent over. I want the savings to represent exactly what yon spend on these little luxuries 1 and no more.” [INDEPENDENT IS EVERYTHING.] ALTOONA, PA., THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 1861. , The next evening he had nothing, to deposite except, the usual amount for ci gars. . “It won’t mount up very fast at that rate” said he triumphantly. “ Never mind” said, his wife, “ I don’t wan’t you to increase your expenditures on my account. 1 am inclined to think they will not be always as small as this.” She was right, The next day, being Wednesday, John Stetson brought home a couple of tickets for the theatre. It was a benefit - night and he was anxious that his .wife should go.” “ Certainly,” said she “I shall be glad to go, but you remember our compact ?” “What.” “ How much did you pay for the tick ets?” “ Fifty cents apiece.” “ That will make a dollar. Please hand me that amount for our fund.” “ Was the theatre included,” said John a little reluctantly. “Certainly. That was expressly men tioned.” “ Oh, very well, so let it be, here is a silver dollar. N The dollar was dropped at once into the box. The next day, in passing a shop window Stetson noticed some fine oranges. “Just what Mary and the children would like” thought he, “I’ll go and in quire the price.” They were four cents apiece. He bought four at the cost of a quarter, which with his cigar money, left him thirty-seven cents to deposit. The succeeding day he spent nothing, except for some cigars. On Saturday, he stepped into a confectionary establishment with a friend, and had a lunch. This brought that day’s account up to 40 cents. When his wife added up the daily sums she found to her own surprise even, that she had received from her husband two dollars and sixty-two cents. lie would have been astonished to hear it, but she thought it best not to say anything about it. He would have alleged that it was a special case, as they did uot go to the the atre every week. This was true; but then something else was sure to come of equiv alent cost, such as a ride or a concert. So time slipped away. The necessity, according to the compact, of giving his wife as much as he spent for incidental expenses, no doubt contributed to check him somewhat, so that, probably he did uot spend more than two-thirds as much in this as he bad done before the agree-’ ment. Still he kept up the average of the first week. We will now suppose the yeas to have glided by. John Stetson came into the room with a pro-occupied air. “ What arc you thinking about ? asked his wife. “ About the half-acre lot adjoining the ohe Holmes bought last year.” “ Do you wish to purchase it.” “ Yes I should like to; but of course I can’t, not having the money.” “ How much do they ask for it ?” “ Holmes paid a hundred dollars for his. This is on gome accounts preferable, and they hold it at one hundred and twenty five dollars.” “Perhaps you can raise the money, John,” said his wife quietly. “By borrowing. I shouldn’t want to do that.” “ You remember our fund „ “Pshaw! that may possibly amount to thirty or forty dollars.” “Suppose wc count it as the year is up to-day.” “ Very well.” , The box was opened and husband and wife commenced counting. They soon reached and passed forty dollars. “ Bless my soul!” said John Stetson, “T had no idea there was so much.” What was his astonishment when the total proved to be one hundred and twen ty-nine dollars arid forty cents! “You see you can buy the lot.” “ But haven’t you swelled the amount from your own allowance?” he asked some what bewildered. “ Not a cent; and don't you see, John; that if you had refrained from even half of the little expenses wc spoke of, we might have had in the neighborhood of two hundred dollars.” John Stetson did sec it, and be deter mined that the lesson should be a service able one. The hall-acre lot was bought,, and now, at the end of the five years it was worth double what he paid for it.— He has also laid aside 8200 a year, during this period and all by sntall savings. “Why, Charley,” said a Yankee to a negro preacher, “can you tell roe who made the monkey?” “Oh, yes I can, massa, Why, massa, de same one made de monkey dat made you.” Teacher —“Toby, what did th«j Israel ites do when they crossed the Kfed Sea ?” Tuly— tl I don’t know, ma’am, but I guess they dried themselves.” We wonder if any one ever picked up a tear that was dropped ? IS THEBE love in jealousy p Bill Williamson’s wife took tea at my house, last Thursday night My. wife, Emma, and she, are old acquaintances.— In fact, they were girls together. Mrs. Williamson's baptismal name is Margaret Emma always calls her Maggie, Every thing went off very pleasant at the tea table. The girls—l always pall; them girls, though they are both married and mothers—the girls . passed most of the time in a comic discussion about jealousy. They both insisted that jealousy was a constituent of true love. I threw doubt upon the proposition. My argument was that sincere connubial affection was un bounded trust. Suspicion was the Canker that gnawed away love. , “ If I once distrusted my Emma,” said I, gazing at her tenderly, “there would be ait end of my regard.” “ Nonsense,” responded Mrs; William son. * I was nettled at her cart reply, bat held my temper. I have long known the folly of argument with women.. Corner them with logic, and they escape youf grasp hy some irritating and personal attack. Be sides, I like Mrs. Maggie. During’Em tna’s last sickness, she watched at her bedside, till-her cheek grew pale, and her rounded figure became as thin as a skel eton. > “ I tell you, Bobby, Maggie; is right,” said my Emma, in a most provoking man ner. So I collapsed and held my tongue. Yet 1. was wounded at the result of the contest where positiveness and bold as sumption were arrayed against cold ratio- j cination. j Happening to recollect that Tom Wil- j loughby had suggested a rubber of whist at Iris house, I told the girls I believed I would go round to Tom’s. I found Tom and his wife and mother-in-law, awaiting my coming. I preferred Rebecca Wil loughby for a partner, .and good naturedly intimated my preference j but it seems the matter had all been arranged before my coming. I ' ; I have no objections to old' Mrs. Crolr lop, except she wears spceZ, and is so cross over the, game. If I make misplay she pitches into means if 1 had committed a grievous sin. Her sharp scolding makes me as nervous as a consumptive'girl. I reckon we must have bedu playing about an hour when the front: door bell emitted a .nervous tinkle* Mrs. Crollop was in fine spirits at the time. She had just exhausted the trumps and laws ma king a fine headway with her commanding suit of hearts. Rebecca sprang up to go to the door: “ Now sit down, Becky, till this hand is played out,” said Mrs Crollcip 1 , peremp torily. ; “No Ma,” said Mrs. Willoughby,” it is impolite to keep people waiting; at the door,” and off went Mrs. Willoughby. “ There sir,” said the, old lady, turning sharply to me, you see what comes pf your slow playing! It’s too bad to be tricked ont of the only good; hand I’ve had to-night, If you’d played faster sir, we’d have won the game. You’re a —’’ But just then Mrs. Willoughby entered the room followed by my wife Emma. After them came a dapper and genteel looking yo t ung fellow, whom my wife in troduced as Mr. Tebbs. She said Tebbs was a cousin of her dear friend, Maggie Williamson’s who' had just arrived froin the mountains. She also, said that Tebbs and she had seen Maggie home* and she had bogged Tebbs to accompany her to Mrs. Willoughby’s. “And Bobby, dear,” she continued, “ don’t you tbink George is amazingly like Maggie ?” _• The resemblance' was certainly very strong; but what puzzled me was the sud den intimacy that had sprung up between the young stranger and my wife. I confcss I was a little amazed at Em ma’s, speaking of him as George. To show my reprobation I stated, with much dignity, that I was pleased to form the ac quaintance of Mr. Tebbs. I took particular pains to emphasize the name of the individual, and especially the word “ Mister.” ; _ ; Amazement sprang into indignation as the impertinent coxcomb turned hastily to me and exclaimed, “ Come, Bobby, old fellow, sit down and fjnish your game.—' I want to say d few sweet things to Em ma. {t Old Mrs. Crollop caught the nipt at once, “Yes,” said she, " let the young people talk while we conclude our game. Diamonds are trumps I believe and it’s my lead.” Well, I did sit down, while I felt the perspiration of rage oozing from every pore. Under any other circumstances I would have knocked'the man down, but I was in the house of a friend, and I had no business to make a scene there. The Lord only knbws how I managed to eke out of the game.; I know Mrs- Crollop was prolific in epithets, Stupid was the. mildest tom she applied to me.— X was gradually straightening myself into some soft of self-possossiooj when some thing like a sharp labial articulation was beard in the room. “ What’s that ?” exclaimed old Mrs. Crollop. I suddenly turned round to the EDITORS AND PROPRIETORS. corner occupied by Tebbs aid Emma, and aa true as 1 live, Tfebb’s ami were encir cling my wife’s form, while bis-lips were glued to her’s in spasmodic kissing. “ Ha! ha 1” I snouted with demoniac intonation, “ ha ! ha!” I sprang towards the guilty pur, seized Tebbs by the coat tail and swting him against the card table. The impetus I gave Tebbs precipitated the table on the old lady, and Tebbs and table and the old lady rolled oyer on the floor in one confused mass. With the fury of a fiend I turned upon my wife, “ Perfidous and faithless wo man,” I almost roared, “ taint not the abode of virtue with your shameless pres ence. Leave at 'once and take your vile paramour with you. And yet I love you —your Jealous Bobby loves you!” I said this in a heart-broken tone. “Doyon, Bobby?” queried she. “Then Maggie, let’s go.” Tebbs had meanwhile arisen from his recumbent position. Tebbs, fn fact, was Maggie Williamson. Emma and Tebbs left arm in arm. I followed. Mrs. Crollop, as I passed oat of the door, called me a “ sickly fool.” Perhaps there is jealbusy in love. After the Battle.—A volunteer who Was in the fight at Predericktown, Mo., gives A graphic picture of the battle field after the fight was over:— “In rcturing, I passed through the field where Coh Lowe’s command was en gaged in battle. This field, away to the left, was about as large as one of our blocks in the city. 1 never shall forget ’ this sight as long as I live.. It was the most awful spectacle I ever looked upon. Men, dead and dying, were strewn in all directions, shattered, torn and mangled. I counted one hundred and forty-two dead men on that one field. Most of them were shot in the head. Col. Lowe was shot right in the forehead, and his brains were all running out. He was a power ful man and a brave one. Ho bad thrown off his coat and rolled up his shirt sleeves for the fight. His body bad been com pletely stripped of everything valuable. I wanted something as a trophy, go I dis mounted and found a little flute, the only thing left on him. The most singular thing I saw was a man who was shot while getting over a fence, and whose body re mained upon the top of it. I counted seven bullet holes in his body. I saw an other man with one half of his bead gone. Bat I will not recite more of these shock ing details. 1 know I never shall forget them. ' Personal Security.—“ Will you do me a favor ?” said young George Brooks to his wealthy friend, Simon Hanson. “ What is it George V’ said Hanson. “ I wish you to lend me n hundred dol lars, sir.” “ Call at my counting-house,” rejoined Hanson. George was not long in paying his res pects. ‘• What security can you give me, young man ?” “ My own personal seeurity, sir.” “Very well, get in here,” said Hanson lifting up the lid of a large iron chest.,, “ Get in here,” exclaimed George in astonishment. “ What for ?” “ Why, this is the place where I always keep my securities.” -——lt has become quite a practice in the South to present commanding officers with race horses well known for thdir su perior speed. A cotemporary thinks it looks suspicious, to say the least, to see a general mounted oh a very fast horse on a battle field. Perhaps a Bull Bun affair is anticipated on the other side. Underground Railroad.— The Rich mond “ Enquirer” says. “We have been requested to state that the original under ground railroad to Maryland has resumed its trips, with every prospect of uninter rupted: success. It will run tri-weekly.” An Irishman just from the sod was eating some cheese, when he found to' his dismay that it contained living inhab itants. ‘‘By jabors,” said he, “does yonr chase have children?” “ls anybody waiting on yon ? J> said a polite dry goods clerk to a girl from the country. “ Yes, air,” said she, blushing, “ that’s my feller outside. Ho would not conic in.” tSgp-A Chicago paper having said the secessionists tfore in league With_ hell. Pjentice suggests that they arc within loss than a league of it. tOSr Whenever a golden wedding is go l ing on, almost every young lady WWad like.to be in the ring—or rather to have a finger jo it. - ■■■ -A great noise is a din, huth noon repast is dinner. . irna 1 Mt. Atlas ißhigh,butwages pehue •I NO. 41;