’S ITTERS. period, every mem subject to disease ily functions; but, 0 and the exercise y maybe able bo to secure permanent nplisb this desired pursue is certainly 1 natural etate of f vital strength and . Hostetler has in ueparation bearing v medicine, but ono rs, giving satisfac i it. The Bitter* e stomach, bowels, to a healthy and by the simple pro re, enable the eye. Indigestion, Nau jetitc, or any Bilious a morbid inaction producing Cramp*. Morbus, &c., these x, so generally con caused principally lict, will be speedily f this preparation. 1 is probably mor* ‘8 forms, than any ■rhich may always us of the digostiv* jout fail by uaintt 1 BITTERS, as par irthis disease every liters of some kina; known to to infal dr Bitters, as a pro igthener of the sy** them all there Is ealtliy people than I 'em*- which value-of this great medical-science. frying andprovok* relentless grasp pa liim to a mere ahn> udering him phy* is. ■-.can bo driven of HOSTETTEK’B urther.noneof the o contracted, even e Bitters aroused ucy neither create tc, and render an* ct or interruption omote sound sleep complaint is re* steut with the pro* ermanent core] / Years, who are I constitution and rc invaluable ss a vigor, and need iated. And to a Bitters are indie* he mother’s nous* '.2 demands of tha ngth mast yield, »d tonic, such M us needed to impart ;or to the system, s try this remedy i, before so doing, it, who, if he is f the Bitters, will •;iscs of weakness, public against using counterfeits, bat ask Stomach Bitkbs, the words “ Dr. J* blown on the Side n the metallic cop that ear autograph ■ HOBTBTTSIB £ and Bold by all leaders generally ;es, Canada, South r A Eonsh, Altoona; O A mv, nollidaysVura; and [Aug 25,1859-lp tbo praise of ORDIAL, > afford instantaneous re rio' if by magic, and ont I- hut vuj say ia true. It <Z OPIATE I by removing the Sttfif- Valiniing its sensibilities, fa- the only reliable pnp [x TtEtnixa, Duosboa, k acidity or xu* SMM- Ci.olt, nho, for soften on. regulating the Bototis, |-i.-ing uii anti-spasmodic I all COof CosmUXOS i’/> and health if yofff -j. tl ote sad and blighting :d' from the use of ndr r. Infantile Complaints ■r.s's i.MA.NTIIxCoBDUt, folly harmless, and can* Price, 25 cents. Fall Prepared only by IT.CII A DUPONT, I: roadway, New-Torit. :ed element*, wa Analyze the Blood of [,:i .n. Liver Complaint, nl in fiery instance wr* ~f Blood. Supply thew i*ll, Tiio Blood Foo» nee its astonishing »nc- TIOXS , Blood in different dto •iinin, or nny nnect' o " Inducing COX!CMPZW!*> • DePBESSION OP SPIUIB, ■,K' Complaints. nd Nebvocs Pnostw . .vo. 3 for DvspzPtti.-; it ia r\KE;;nr I»ort ircuhition. so *b a ‘ " h *. lor female Ip*RM ci^“ ■ .. s|iccinl directions for is, Sc-KOFILOCS. KIDNET. In all cases thodt Price of the i KCii & dui-oMV v i i road way, X oa.nudG. U.KBYSEB, !, i rray, UolliJayaburg, l uighout tbs country. K GAZETTE-^ in- and Criminal* I* *" f circulated throughout Great Trials, Criming r. the some, logotberwiw not to bo found in “V ,; $1 for six months, t* ~ ulil write thoir nan.** re they reside plainly* M ATSELL & CO*, Vork Police Gosett*, jfrtw York City* -GENTLEMEN :i’K P. TEODT«U>SJ2v jU&wjatti Jribunr* McORUM & BERN, ( B • VOL. 5. THE ALTOONA: TRIBUNE JicCRDM t DBBN, -PnMiaben and Proprietors. p« innnm, (payable invariably in advance,) «Lso AH paper* discontinued at the expiration of the tiine Mid fcr. nans or Anvzmano. 1 insertion 2 do. Bdo Poor lines or less, $26 $ s6o One squore, (8 lines,) 50 76 1 oo Tee U« “ ) 100 160 200 Three '* (« ) 150 200 260 Over three weeks and less than three months, 25 cents ner *ptireTor each insertion. Six lines or !««■, One iquar*, Ivro M Thres Four" (too 10 00 14 00 Half a column, s 10 00 14 00 20 00 Odo column, 14 00 25 00 40 00 Administrator* and Sxecntur* Notice*, i 75 Werchanta advertising by tUe year, three »quar*s, with liberty to change, 10 00 Professional or Busiueg* Card*, not exceeding 8 Hue* with paper, per year, 5 qo Communications of apolitical character or individual in tirest will be charged, occonllngto the above rates. Advertisement* not marked with the number of insertion* desired, will be continued till forbid and charged to the above term*. 6 BorioMs notices live cants per linoibrovery insertion. Obituary notices exceeding ten cento a square. Select THE BABEPOOT BOY. bt jomr.a. wmrnan. ' Blessings on thoe, little man] Barefoot boy, with check of ton) With thy turned up pantaloons. And thy merry whistled tunes— With thy red Up redder still. Kissed by strawberries on the hill— With tho sunshine on thy face Through thy tom brim’s jaunty grace; Prom my heart I give thoe Joy— I was once a barefoot boy I Prince thon art—the grown-up man Only Is republican. Lot the milUon-dbllared ride— Barefoot, trudging at his side, Thou hast more than he can bny, In the reach of ear and eye Outward sunshine, inward Joy, Blessings on the barefoot boy) Oh) for boyhood's painless play, Slelp that wakes in toughing day;' Health that mocks the doctor’s rules; Knowledge, never learned at schools; Of the wild bee’s morning chfae. Of the wild flower’s time and place, Plight of fowl and habitude Of the tenants of the wood. How the tortoise boars, his shell. How the woodchuck digs his cell, the gronnd-molo sinks his well; wow, theiiobin feeds her.ydnng, How tile oriole’s-nestis hung; whitestlili^blow, Where thefreshestberrWgrow, Wh«« the gronmhhnt trails in vino, Where the wood-grape’s clusters shins; Of the black wasp’s cunning way. Mason of , his walls pf clay, And tho architectural plans Of gray bomet articansl— For’eschewipg books and tasks, Nature answers all he asks'; Hand In hand with her ho k.l^ Face to tope with, her he talks, / Part and parcel of her Joy— / Blessings on the barefoot boy I. Oh! for boyhood’s time of June, Crowding years in one brief moon. When all things I heard or saw, Me, their master, waited for. 1 was rich in flowers and trees, Humming birds ani honey bees, Per my sport the squirrel flayed, Plied the snouted mole his spade ; Per aiy taste the blackberry cone Purpled Wer hedge and stone; Laughed the brook )jbr my delight Through tho day and through the night. Whispered at the gaiden wail, Talked with tde.lrom fall to foil; ,Mwe the sand-rimmed pickerel pond. Mine the walnut slopes beyond, Mine the bending orchard trees, Apples of Hesperidesl Still as my. horizon grew, *Arger grew my riches too,. A)i the world I saw or knew. Seemed a complex Chinese foy»‘ Fashioned for a barefoot boy I Uhl for festal dainties spread, like ay bowl of miUcand Bread— Pewter gpioon* turf bowl of wood, . On.lhe door stone, gray and rode! O’ar Cloudy-ftbbed.the shnwt bent, Porptocartoined, fringed with gold, *“ n»“y swing fold; •vhile for music came the play Of tho pled flrpge’orchestra; ; And, to light the jdpigy choir, , liit Ihe fly hislunpe of ilre. ■ I wm monarch; pomp and Joy . on tbs barcfoot ‘bqy,l J V■, ®*eerOy,theji, mylUUe,maii,.' . tiv« andUogh an boyhood jean I Though the flinty (lores' be*hirdd- ' ' , Stable i#w^rttoiiwaWiauk ' ■* Bpery errailng ftom thy fort ShaU the cool wtods kiss the heat ; . All.tooeoonjtheaeiaetnuiathlde In ; god, aeolt’e work beifoba, > Made 'to tread the inQle of toil, and down ithe ceaseless moil— H»ppy If their track he found Norer oh forbidden J ■' Hnppy If sink hot iht r / *: ; G Quick and treacherous sandji of sin. Ail t that thou conld’st know the joy, Er ett peaace, bare foot boy 1 ' iiirj "—h AiltJpuTat qffVhftt ned an enraged schoolmaster. Yes, sir.” ' line me “d Bm Jones ,Wwr>lßying buH thu.sigMldo run <Xaissk switch was BohW last Wf. • * month*. 0 months. 1 year. $l6O $3 00 $6 00 a6O 400 - 700 * 00 6 00 10 00 6 oq 8 00 12 00 c i i •*; jr. likellang ’THE FALSE FHKHBLAX,. I never liked my ancle’s business, though he took me when my father died, and brought me op os bis own son. The good man had no chil dren. His wife was long dead; he had an hon est old woman for a housekeeper, and a flour ishing business, in the undertaking line, to leave to somebody; but he did not leave it to me, and i’ll tell you the reason. When I had been about five years with him, and had grown worth my salt, as he used to say, a death occurred in our neighborhood, which caused greater lamentation than any we had beard of since my apprenticeship'began.— The deceased gentleman was a Mr. Elsworthy. The family had been counted gentry in ihier day. I should have said my uncle lived in York, and all the world knows what Yorkshire families are. Well, the Elsworthys were of good family, and very proud of it, tho’. they had lost everts acre of on old estate which had belonged to them time out of mind. lam not sure whether it j was their grandfather’s dice and cock-fighting, I or their lather’s going surety for a friend, who I did *° m *thing wrong in a government office, that brought them to this poor pass; but there was no house in all York where candles wont further, and tea leaves were better used up. There was a.mother, two sisters, and a cousin who lived with them. The mother whs a state ly old lady, never seen out of the black brocade. The sisters were not over young or handsome, but they dressed as fine as they could. The cousin was counted one of the prettiest women in Yorkshire, but she walked with a crutch, hav ing met with an accident in her childhood.— Master Charles was the only son, and the young est of the family ; he was a tall, handsome, dashing young man, uncommonly polite, and a great favorite with the ladies. It was said there was some red eyes in the town when the story got wind that he was going to be married to the Honorable Miss Westbay. Her father was younger brother to the Earl of Harrowgate, and had seven girls beside her* without a penny for one of them; but Miss Westbay was a beauty, and the wonder was that she had not got mar ried long ago, being nearly seven years out, dancing, singing, and playing tip-top pieces at all the parties. Half-a-dozen matches had been talked of for her, but somehow they broke down one after another. Her father was rather im patient to see her off; so were her sisters, poor things, and no wonder, for grow up. os they might, not one of them would the old man suffer to come out till the eldest was disposed of, and at last .there seemed something like a certainty of that'business. Young Mr. Elsworthy and she struck up a courtship. He was fascinated —isn’t that the word ?—at an assize ball, paid marked attentions at the bishop’s party, and was believed to have popped the question at a pic nic, after Harrowgate, the largest' share holder in the North Eastern Bank, got him pro moted from a clerkship to be manager? It’s true he was some years younger than Miss Westbay, and people said there had been some thing between him and his pretty cousin ; but a Lord’s neice with beauty, accomplishments, and a serviceable connection does not come in every young man s way; so the wedding-day was fixed for the first of January; and all the milliners were busy with the bride’s bonnets and dresses. It was just a month to come, and everybody was talking ipf the match, when. Mr. Elsworthy fell sick] At first -they said it was a cold ; then it turned to a brain fever; at last the doctor gave'no hopes of bis recovery, and within tho same week Mr. Elsworthy died. The' wnole neighborhood was cast into mourning & prom ising young man, in a manner the only depen dence of his family, newly /promoted to a sta tion of trust and influence, and on the eve of marriage, everybody lamented his untimely death, and sympathized with his bereaved Vela lions,.and hisiutended bride. I think iny un cle lamented most of aU, None of his custo mers, to my knowledge, ever got so much of his ,wrrpw. When he was seut for in the way of business, it strook me that he stayed particular ly long. The good man could talk of .nothing but the grief of the ’ afflicted' family—how the toother Went into fits and .ihe sisters tore 'their • hair—how the roouaintalked'of wearing mourn* ing all her days—and how it was feared that .-.urho' ■ insisted on seeing him, P»Pfi*»gW» expressions to the public grief 'There was agreatnmnyyerses wrUteuaboutit • • wmwk.. My .unof/ropje^ iUtended the maktog of the cofißn, as Ihaduever seen him'do to any other; and when the work men were gone home, he' spent' hours at night it by himself. : • The funeral was to set,out for thefamily vault 'in the Minater church, at Beverly, about three o’clock in the afternoon. It was'maido.a strictly fimate affair, though hundreds of the towns men would have testified their respect for the de*s by accompanying it aU the way. The members of the family, in two mourning coach* es, and the undertaker’s men, were alone allow ed to follow poor Msworthy to his his last res ting plape, and the cofiin was not to be brought till the latest hour. My uncle had got it fin. shed to bis mind, but evidently did not wish toe to look at his work, jHo bad a lohg talk with j t«eJo S.touemap, tyo of hie mos* coufideu- Ual assistants in the workshop, after hours, and ALTOONA, PA., THURSDAY, AUGUST 30, 1860 they; -went away looking remarkably close. All was in tritfn, and the funeral to take place the next; day, when, coming down his own stairs thqr.were rather steep and narrow, for we lived in one of the old houses of York—my uncle slip ped, Ml, and broke his leg. I thought he would havejgonV. mad when the doctor told him he must not Attempt to move, or mind any busi ness for weeks to come, and. I tried to pacify him by offering to conduct the funeral with the help pf Steele and Stoneman. Nothing would please the old man; I never saw him so for out of temper before. He swore at his bad luck, the pillows at his hosekecper, ordered pie to bring him up the key of the workshop, and kept it fast clutched in his hand. I sat up with bim that night. In a couple of hours he grew calm and but could not sleep, though the house was all quiet, and the house keeper snoring in the comer. Then he began to groan, as if there was something worse than a broken leg on his mind, and“ Tom,” said he, “ kavn’t I always been kind to yon ?” “ Np doubt of it, uncle,” said I. “ Tom, I want you to do me a great service—a particular service, Tom, and I’ll never forget it to you. You know Mr. JElswor thy’s funeral comes off to-morrow at three, and they ate very high people.” “ N frer fear, uncle; I’ll take care of it as well as if you wore there yourself.” ‘‘l knew .you would, Tom,—l knew you would. I could trust you with the hearsing of an carPs coffin; and for managing mutes, I don’t know pour equal. But there’s something more to be done. Come over besides me, Tom ; that old woman don’t hear well at the best, and she’s sleeping now and no mistake. Will yoaji prom ise me”—and his voice sunk to a whisper— “ that, whatever you hear or see, yoa’jl make no remark to any living, and be as cautious as you can abotit the body ? There’s foul play,” said he, for I began to look frightened; “but maybe this leg’s a judgment for taking on such a business. Howsomever, I’m to have three hundreds pounds for it fund you’ll get the half, Tom, the full half, if you’ll conduct it properly, and give me your solemn promise. I know you’ll never break.” Uncle, said I, ** I’ll promise, and keep it top; but you must tell me what it is.” “ Tom,” —and he drew a long breath —“its a livipg man you’re going to put in that coffin Uribe Workshop ! I’ve made it high and full of ajr holes; he’ll lie quite comfortable. Nobody knows about it but Steele and Stone man and yourself; they’ll go with yon. Mind yon trust no one else. Don’t look so stupid} man; can’t you understand ? Mr. Elsworthy didut d\e at all, and never had brain fever; but he wants to get off with marrying Miss West bay, or something of that sort. They’re taking a queer way about it, I must say; bufthese gen* teol people have way? of their own. It was the cousin that .prepared my mind for it in the back parlor ; that woman’? up to anything. I stood put against having a hand in it till I heard that the sexton of Beverly Church was a poorrela tion of theirs. The key of the coffin is to be given to him; it will be looked, and not screw ed down,; you pee; and when all’s over at t£e vault—it will be dark night by that time, for we don’t moyo till three, and these December days are short— he’ll come and help Mr. Elsworthy out, and pmnggle him off to Hull with his son the carripr. There’s ships enough there to take him .anywhere under a feigned name.” _ “ Could he get off from .the marriage no ea sier ? said I, for the thought of taking a living man in ajheorse, and having the service read over hiw| mads my blood run cold. You see I was young then. “There’s something more, than the marriage init, thppgh they didn’t tell me. Odd things will happen in my business, and this is: one of the queerest. Eat you’ll manage it, Tom, and get my bussing, besides your half of the three hundred pound?; and don’t be afraid of any thing coming wrong with him, for I never saw any man jjook sip much like a corpse,” I promised npy uncle to do the business and keep the secret; A hundred and fifty pounds was no joke to d young man beginning the world In mi undertaking line; and the old man was so pleased with what be called my senses and un derstanding; that before falling asleep, close upon daybreak,'he talked pf taking me into ! • and jobs wo miglit .expect from I ttld flocropg»te.family; for the dowager -count ess was npar foflraoore, and two of the young la with deolihim Next day early in tbd afternoon, Steele,. Stoneman, ans I Were at work,, The family seemed daly moarn fed ; 1 suppose pb account of the servants. Mr. WonderfuilyWeil in and H.oneiiladnpt looked closely intojthe eoffin, they neyei'woald have seen theair-holes. Well; we set out; mourning-coaches, hearse and all, thpongh a fellow fog of a December day. There .pas nothipg but sad faces to be soeu-at all the windows as we passed; I heard themadmi ring Steel? and Stoneman for the feeling hearts they showed; but when we got on the Beyerly road, the cousin gave ns a sigh, and went a rattling pace; a Amend never got over the' ground at such a rate before. Yet it Was; getting dark when we reached the old Minister, and the curate grumbled at haying to dp duty so late. He got through the service nearlyas quick as we got over the miles. -The coffin'whs lowered Into the family yanltj half filled wi th s|r, Els worthy’s forWatowSvbut there wae 9 good wide grate In the wall, and ioo want ©fair; It was all right. Th# eiork>nd [independent in everything.] the clergyman started off to their ; the mourning-coaches went to the Crown Inn, where the ladles were to wait till the sexton came to let them know he was safe out—the cousin would not go home without that news—and I slipped him the key at the church-door, as he discoursed to'us all about the mysterious dis pensations of Providence. My heart was light going home, so were Steele 1 and Stoneman’s. None of us liked the job, but we .were all to be paid for it; and I must say 1 the old man came down handsomely with-the needful, not to speak of Burton ale ; and I was to be made his partner without delay. We got the money, and had the jolification; but it wasn’t right over, and I was just getting into bed, when there was a ring.at our door bell, and the housekeeper came to say that Dr. Parks wanted to see me or my uncle. What could ho want and how had he come back so soonv? Parks was the Elsworthy’s family doctor, and the only stranger at the funeral; he went in the second mourning coach, and I left him talking to the sexton. My clothes were thrown on, and I was down stairs in a minute, looking as sober as I could ; but the doctor’s look would have sobered any man. “ Thomas,” said he, “this has turned out a bad business ; and I cannot account for it; but far. Elsworthy has died in earnest.— When the sexton and I opened the coffin, we found him cold and stiff. I think he died from fright for such a face of terror I never saw. It wasn’t your uncle’s fault; there was no doubt ho had air enough.; but it can’t be helped; and the less said about it, the better for all parties. I am going to Dr. Adams to take him down with me to Beverly. The sexton keeps poor Elswor thy, to see if anything can be done; and Adams, is the only man we could trust; but I know it’s of no use.” The doctor b apprehensions were well found ed far. Elsworthy could not be recovered ; and after trying everything to no purpose they laid him down again in the coffin with air holes.— The ladies came back, and wo kept the secret; but in less than six months after, a rumor went abroad of heavy forgeries on the North Eastern Bank. On investigation they proved to be over fifty thousand, and nobody was implicated but the deceased manager. His family knew noth ing about it; being all ladies, they were entire ly ignorant about banking affairs; but they left York next season, took a handsome house at Scarborough, and were known to get money Regularly from Loudon. They never employed any doctor but Parks; and his medical manage ment did not appear to prosper, for they never were well and always nervous ; not one of them would sleep alone or without a light in the room; and an attendant from a private asylum had to be got for the cousin. I don’t think the matter ■ever left my ancle’s mind ; he never would un dertake an odd job after it; and all the partner ships in England would not have made me con tinue the business, and run the risks of another false funeral. A HUSBAND AND PATHEB. A young man and his wife were prepared to attend a Christmas party at tho house of a friend some miles distant. i “ Henry, my dear husband, don’t drink too much at the party to-day; you will promise me, won’t you ?” said she, patting her hand upon his brow, and raising her eyes to his face with a pleading glance. “ No, Millie, I will not; you may trust me.” And he wrapped his infant boy in a soft blan ket as they proceeded. The horses were soon prancing over the turf, and pleasant conversation beguiled the way. “ Now don’t- forget your promise,” whispered the young wife, as she passed up the steps. Poor thing! she was the wife of a man who oved to look upon the wine when it was red.— Bat his love for his wife and babe, whom they both idolized, kept him back, and it was not of ten that he joined in the bacchanalian revelries. The party passed of pleasantly, the time for departing drew near, and the wife descended from the upper chamber to join her husband.— A P an B shot through the trusting heart as she met him, for he was intoxicated—he had bro ken his promise. Silently they rode homeward, save when the drunken man would break into snatches of song, or unmeaning Ipnghter. But the wife rode on, her Babe pressed closely on her grieved heart ‘‘ Give me t,he babe,\Millie, I . can’t trust you him,” said he, $s they approached a dark and somewhat swollen: stream which they had to ford. ■ ; After eome hesitation die resigned her first born, her darling babei closely wrapped in tho great blanket, to hia anns. "Over l : the dark-wa ter? the noble steed safely them, and when tßeyreaohed theliank thh mother asked'for the child- V' :v; '" • Withmuofa cate and tenderness, he laid the bundle in her arms, but when she clasped it to wak there l' It had slipped from the and the drunken father knew itnotl v 'V ! ,4. shriek fropi the mother aroused Mmj fape rise one moment afcpyp (bedark vaTeB, ihea sink forever. Wiiat a spccUolel. temperance. The aognlah'hf tt»e remorse of tha-father; are better, fcnag&ed. than described. !,l '.■ V:♦ Are Women Naturally Polite P ; Mrs. Wyllys asks that question, and then elaborately answers it herself)-thus: Are women naturally polite, did you ask, dear, good-natured Public 7 ) Did you ever know a woman to make roam in an omnibus, five on a side) when Number Six was entering, flounced and velveted, until order ed by the driver 7 Did you ever know a Utile pair<j>f gaiter boots to turn one inch either to the right or left when they could have saved you front a streaming I gutter by the operation 7 Patent leathers don’t behave so—not they! Did you ever know a woman to .say, “I am i sorry to have given so much trouble,” when the dry goods clerk had turned things topsy turvy, without finding the shade or color that never! existed 7 N ■ 1 Did you ever know a woman who did not know it was “ outrageous” for another woman to travel with a baby, or who didn't regard it as I “ cruel and barbarous,” jf any one objected to I the crying of Aer baby 7 Did you ever know two women to-talk over a third without ridiculing her, even if she was her “ dear particular friend ?” Did you ever praise one young lady in the presence of another, without being confidential-, ly told of some enormous fault; or deformity in the former which yon hadn’t dreamed of 7 Did you ever teU your wife what a beautiful new dress your neighbor had girt, without learn ing that “ it waa>only that dowdy old silk dyed over 7” , * v; Did you ever know a pretty woman to moke an impression without a half a jiozen other pret ty women ruining the effect of H the instant she left the room ? Did you ever know a woman to apologize for haying knocked another woman’s bonnet into “pi” (that’s printerism, but expressive, notwith standing,) with the corner of her parasol ? Did you ever hear of a woman who had an idea that she was making trouble by her little airs and grace ? We, don’t believe ybu ever did) reader. They are a race of unaccountables, these women, just ns sweet and piquant as June roses, sometimes, and then again, bristling like so many veno mous thorn bushes. • There’s one thing we never ceased to be in wardly thankful for—that we’re hot a man, and oonseqeuntly not obliged v td marry one of ’em. . Why she would drive us crazy In a week, with her whims and fancies, her exactions and her pettish ways. We Would make f the most hen pecked husband in the world, vmless, indeed, we had tho nerve to run away from her or shut her up in a closet for a week, until she promised to behave bettor. When a woman chooses she can be the nearest thing to an angel of anything in the world, and what a pity it is she doesn’t always choose.— Life Illustrated. STUPIDITIES. Hall’s Journal of Health e numerates the fol lowing. The list is capable of being indefinite ly entended. Indeed if one should specify all the silly and ridicujous habits and practices by which the majory of reasoning mortals are in juring thepisolvek, he would make it chapter os long as the Atlantic cable. * Walking along tho streets with the point of ar umbrella sticking out behind, under the arm or over the shoulder. By suddenly stopping to speak to a friend, or other cause, £ person walk ing in the rear has his brain penetkated through the eye, in one of our streets, and died in a few days. Stopping in a church aisle, after .dismission, and standing to converse with others, or to al low occupants of the same pew to pass ont and before, for courtesy or precedence, at the ez- Pknse of a great boorishness to those behind. To guzzle down glass after glass of cold water, op getting up in the moming, without any feel ing of thirst, under the impression; of the health giving nature of its washing-our qualities. To economize time, by robbing yourself of necessary sleep, on the ground that an hour saved from sleep is an hoargained|or life, when in realit/it is two hours actually lost and half a dozen other hours aotually spoilcd. r To persuade yourself that you are destroying one unpleasant oder by introducing a stronger one, that is, attempting 'to sweethh' ybur un wished garments and person enveloping yourself in the fumes of musk/ eai de cologne or rbse water; the b 9 st &daa skin and well washed clothing;' ' ; I®? A young man becoming engaged latelyi traa desirous of presenting his intended wltha appropriately iqscribeid'; , bjji, jvt : a loes what to ham eDgratea upon it ; called upon his father for advice.- ‘‘ Weß,” said the old man, 9 n » “ When tlrter; yon see, remember mei- Xhe young lodywasmuch surprised ; a few (fays after, receiving a beautiful ring with this in scription; ■“ When this you see, remember/ath fr-’V’ ' ■ : ;.1f : ■ f; ■ ■ 8S» A few days since, a barber offered a re;, ward of $lO for the b«rt Woeipt for “ instantly removing superfluous hair.’' Among the answer yra{| ope .forwarded by a gentleman who speaks %m .experience. W® give it" undertake to kiss a sgunky woman against her will.” , |!S?“ £r®P.ti(je says that between- a Douglas ■fever and Breckinridge sweat, office holders have a hard, time generally. Their feelings lie on one side, tbeir bread and butter ion theotherj and they themselves Its generally. EDITORS AND PROPRIETORS. A DOM2&BTIU SOIEANC^ , The papers relate the following story One' morning last week, a scene occurred on the train from New York south, which fora time created quite an excitement among tie paasen gen. Among those on the train, was a lady about thirty years of age. She was good-look, ing and attracted much attention from her air of melancholy. At Princeton, a sun-burnt but ▼cry handsome gentleman entered the oar in which the lady in question Was seated. No sooner had the parties glanced at each other than the lady swooned. On recovering heftelf; it appeared that/the gentleman.. was her hus* band, whom she had. not teen for ten years. He hod started for California when the gold fe ver first broke out The porties.at that timete rided in Princeton, New Jersey. The husband was taken sick and did hot recover for-some time. Prior to his convalescence the lady: had gone South, in the capacity of * goyernem, and wrote that fact to her husband, who, unfortu nately, did not receive her letter.. No answer to his letter reaching him, hO thought hia wife was careless of his welfare. A feeling of came over him, and he returned to the,Stats# a few weeks ago. Meantime 4he lady had fallen hfirto a large Southern estate, lefthesjiya member of the family in which she had been teaching. - These explanations being mode,the opce more united couple started on a Southern trip together. There war certainly two happy J ’ persons on that train. City Toads in the Ctounto**; :. A gentleman liVing a shirt distance outcftW city has been for d few weeks past importing toads from Williamsburg and vicinity to ld* garden; not, we imagine, with thi benevolent idea of giving them a Sommer airing, but fo ea tablish them in a permanent country resident*-, and for very practicable purposes; Until re cently this animal has been almost garded as of no possible use; bat anhobrspent in the garden watching its movemente, will cob vince the most skeptical on this point that &ese little creatures, however uncbnth iheymoybe/ in appearance, are yet a formidable foe to the insect world. Hopping around among the pianfS,- and gobbling down the worms and indents by the dozen, they prove themselves usefbt gaSrdi ans of the cucumber and other vines, which at« so infested by vermin at this season of the yeak The toad feedd on flic?, beetles, and! wbnnsbf all sorts. As on evidence of Ins voraoloda appe tite, as many as fifteen beetles have been foiu(d in the stomach of a single' toad. An anhndl productive of so much good is snnly r of more esteem than it receives from tba ftr- - men. tsi • cross-grained and surly man, toff crooked ny nature to keep still, wentovertd Ms neighbor, Mr, F——, and addresrtd hUa thus : That piece of fence is mine, 1 ' andyod shant have It.” “ Why,” Replied Mr. F mistaken, I think.”. ‘ “ No, no, it’s mine, and I shall keep it.” • ' “Well,” said F-——.“suppoSewe leave )! to any lawyer you shall : - •*I won’t leave it to any lawyer,” Aid tfe Others ■ “ Well,” continued Mr. F--~% leareit to any four men in the rillage that ydu shall 1 selectT” ; : ■■■ P: ’; “No; I shall have the fence:” Not at all discomposed, i Mr. “ Well* neighbor, I shall leave it say to whomit does belong—to yon’ ot n»e. w> Struck dumb by the appeal, the frothy mah turned away. eaying; - “ I won’t haveanything *> do that Won’t contend for his own tights.” Quaker lately popped - the qaestioa to a fail* Quakeress thus: - “Htun—yca, verily; -Penelope, the spirit ahd moveth me wonderfully to’beeitaoh ' hee to cleave unto me, flesh of my flesh! had )one of my bone.’ }.r’ ' 1 4 Hum—trnly, Obadlah, then hut wisely said, and inasmpoh as lt« hot good fop inaa te be alone, 1 will-sojourn withthebl” ; • ' A gentleman, Inhis eagernessat the ti. blpto*nswera call fcr <some apple p!e, owing to the Imife slippling outlie bottom ofthe'dlsli fbond his knuckles harried in the eras(,irhen a wag who sat just opposite to him, Terygrayely observed, while he' held * his' plate: FU trouble you for a&t of -pie whUe'yourhapdbj ; ‘ \ A nan from the' country, whose trlft bs3 elqped and camed : off the feather-bed, wks ia Louisville in. search of them—not thSt hi anything about the wife, « butthhftath ere,” said he, *» them’s worth forty-eight cehte a pound.” ■ ' ’ ; " 11 shit it Che reasopi that. you your wife always, disagree?” ' ' ' s '~’ ■* *« obe jabbers, it’s ! kase. tre’re /botti of qne she wants to be jnasteri and so dh ft” ' would! learn Hoir to bow, watch' S mean man when he talks to a gentleman oif wealth.' ■ ■' ' ; ■ BSu*‘ I got soma, boat in that bargain,** as «Sid when he got kicked out of ddon. iQT He that is too good for good advleeig too good for bis neighbor’s company . ~ U 4O w ♦ '«! T /, SO. 30, ■, ‘‘fbu ihast be t ■. ■ ; >' •• N H.‘; f
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers