=fst2wssisL^ :
asgsafef!
ssacSSs
asaasaSga*
££a£k|
,n^ 1 t l‘e.moei. n j!^ ! «
•***%
:m«elvc S , wit),, ! '~i{
K a JUport on x‘
' r>« «f Ouaal^f
whlcJ\ wfu u
'■nkr of tiji fiiVl-H
iTpvaS^fc
from Philo. -
hratrtl Co^k-JEhj
''’ting Stove Saji
quiaifi! style
in ail respect* ‘is
• fit l Cues arc bJ^’nsC?
-f .Uus Stcvai22fcS
inivcrua favorite **
if pooj O.lJ)af!( T „
•'t'jvos constasii. ~
• u. ucs!i! , i
HE LIFE 0?
(ho truth of U,]| ttl>
Oily acuouaco a,
that be lias taj;^
r'.nLisuMty?
Mi-lulclOallnijhw,^
el.l k Oftn,
lie lias just rsoihtf
■& VESTING?
which hs Will nui, J
which can not 4a 2
'-1 i-ST STYLES of
FASHIONS.
• fr the mo»t fiuiyj
l.'f mode rj> Wdli,
■ o i-imimtltJatwi
EatiatictJoca
patronage.
.>OIL\ TALBOT.
*XIC OIL!
11. DU VALL.fcr-'
IV.rl«, la now of
of sore and paj,,.
:i any part of the;
iek. breast trsidcj
praias, headsets,!
r divMre that !i
' oxer this rluiol
CTORY. Wc uj
■h' Tr the suCi ter
:t say to tha pub
cringing to uu,
n:. cat off to Um
(I to
i>. Propria ter,
!.'wft.town. Pa.
-Henry Lchr.’o' I.
nil ileuleni la an&
i’iS PllEMA
ihcd, Gratia, the 2hl
SAL TREATMIST,
»r Lccnl Wcadtao*
i ■ on* Dihillty, lops
piicrally, by.
DE LANKY, M.D.
alarming Complain*
‘■'o'-mla of yoath, ray
TINE,'li in tbiaimi
ntire’y newandhirli
by the Author, Mj
me is enabled to cto
possible cost, thtrUj
if the day.
it free Lu a teiltin
sostage stamps tok
:w York City.
JNTY.—THE
n Kow Map of Diet
rvrys, containing lil
n actual localitiesf!
ship. School Hewn,
i. Stores, farm. Dot*
Villages, a Tablet(
giving the stole ml
ngraveil on the ton
? scale so as to rub*
will be colviedari
-n.\ to subscribers it
SAMUEL OETL,
SAAC G. fUEED.
t'PiAGTIGAI
i r > nr. cx-.i
•lie
r.isiiiesi-,'***?#
ir-tnnUv
mu'gs, Wl
JIMSU-4K3
uisiro t ereader•*■•
ju.-.lity, he hojwti
•or.age.
u reisonalile Urn!:
> attended to.
[r.pounded.
;azette.-
iml Criminal* i«&
tainted through®:!
at Trial*, Crtoiw
I su-jue, te gethtr tritt
Ui be found in t;'
for jnonth-'; :
J vrltc their
t;.r v reside pi*®.'-'
C KIX Jt C 0...
iVltec G.U-tt:.
-Veto York C.u
k & Co
Altoona.
:I’AL CITIES
<.;!'.ftioa* nuuier
i without t,
r rates. [l-!f
HolLioa3>
iWr. Bati'.rsgi-,
riitiv »,,• to c«a**.
r.M-nV. r.t h«
ti, nullldsyyhafj'
: •
m, 1
, PA. '
FOB
;■
ALITYOI
mIek»A E«UB-r"
BJK*^
::^-
£sSs3^ :
WSWgj
ww l
rt.
...... . ' .. f • ' '• .:K
’ C [ ... ■- : \ _ '•
McCUU3I & PSRNj
VQIi. 3,
. ■ ♦ g., fl * Jftwli w*
. ■ 1(00' i A>M .JM»s:
tw . ;/ J ' 'l6O »» • . ..i*-fe
M| 'sf. *. - )'■-■•' "-At SO ft 800 I.® W,
Fix lines orlew, „.i * i *4 00 -Tctf
Ono wjuaK* ' ?«, «00.. U#
Taro." -> - ‘ IS B<tt -WOO"
■nirco" X ; . : .0 ' ' *OO 10 00 14 00.
Four “ • . !..;..,- .- jo 'd) •, HOO 30 00.
Half n col aran, Uflfl *5 00 40 00?
OncjeoOunn •■••'• '■'?’<• ■■ 118
SftfiJKSnSS?** *■£*#»*"!>.. to 00
AiH-rtiacmcnl* notimokwl wfth »J>® P*°P I **f£ I “?[Sf n *-
UU
lJ ct C liaeforewy inaertkm.
OUtnatj- iwtlca ton a-aquanv
TRIBUNE PtRggTQBY.
■~^hu«ich.es.'.M V ' ■
v^’SB&SSSS^BtLf&S^
ii« Hoorn. Prayer MoeUilg fijmMviaeriaj evening toj
Erwa^h-P
luff 1-n.TT Sabbsfh morning »t *ni>'«loek audla the even-,
ini Sabbath gdw>,l hi o'clock;?.
M General Pmer Me*th)g
day evening. Young Mto i Ihrayfr Mdtting,
* iStßwrfwai inttem«,Gcr. J*ocw SvaeKtEartor.—Prwch
l.iT^^bhaGimornUi^
1„ the evening. Sabbath f Scho9rii»»t% tecthrofloom at
jjio’elock, P. M. :pihyer Hoelliifc iftflfltfS' roomewiry.
WeilnasdV,evening.■;* -if'* :
mud Brdhn*, Kev. D.Smck, er
ery gabhitli tubmlng o'clock and In the evcnlpg at*
1H o'clock; Sabbath School in the Lecture Boom ato
o'clock', A. M. Prayer Meeting. every Wcdneedryr owning,
in dame room.
I’ntabnA •ASnjeojwV'Ber- B. W. (tom, Pastor.—Divine
Service aa muMthßundaya of.each mouth at
A. M. aniTljs P.' >L ' Shu Jay Behoof at 0 o cloak A- M.
ruittiSj.Rrv. Jobs JCwmbs; nt, 10J£
o'clock in the morning, aiid at 3W In the afternoon. ; •
fitptitt, )J. 11. Pisa, SaUiath
morning allot? o’clock, and aleMti the evening. StbUfth,
School at 9 o’clock, A . M. ' Prayer Meeting every Wednes
day evening. - < -
African Xtihatiist* Cvn, fuator.—Preaching
every Sabbath morning nt .11 o’clock anil In thoeventag, ii»,
the oil Union SahOolHOtwe,
ALTOONA MAIL SCHEDULE. t
-I.’ MAILS CLOSE.
Eastern Tlf ay JBi4lffiMaaa>ur6»t
Western / ’* ; ,
KaiU'rullirn>l(tfi ll»ll
Wcatcm Taouglufttoto-Uw*.)
*'
5 - : 8 35 .IXM.
Western Way and llollldayehurg, ’ 1130 r.ll.
Eastern “ . . . » * 645 "
Offlue open for the transaction of IraiiQ&s from 7, A. M.
i to S P. M, M.l
1 “ s j^'sr4jfil 3 j
stSwiddEk; . f
[ Express Train Last arrives £,J$ A,.M.. , Itiavo* 2jS5 A. U.
: »■ “ >»e*W» - »&■*'■{■■■■,* Jfc'Kigfe' »
- m ,« t *r
Mill “ 4 Ewtt' “ *lt»- A. Stl * 4 " •’* "11# A. M.
[ « r^WSR!«.
[ Train, West,MailXtaiaßast and ta^wiuTa^-Uue
I lasi. ■ * .■*■•■' 1 '•“■ ,*. ~ ' I'
1 TIiaSLAIBSVILLSBEANCri Jolinctowa
r Way Train Eaetand West, ;Z*pre*s Train Wot «ad.W«H
f Irain.Knat. 1, ’.. , . v -. ~
IW.arWMfl TUGS. A.iSCOTT, SttpH.
UEETiNGS OfvASSOCIATI
L fbmiUiin lodge, A..V. M, Xa 3SI, raoetaun sectuwWues-
L *jr if tticli itfoiT of Hie Ma«>iild-T<>m
• v.- ■■■■j’ : .*■• _ .
I. meets oothe
f maeftvffi* ’
f Altoonaledge, I,OrMoV^So.-47%meetseroryBrWay
ey.’oiqg, in (ho second e wry oftho. Masonic Temple, ht»34
■_ odock, P. M. ;-j, , '
Veranda Lodge, 1.0. of 0. yAXo.B3S. mhMs creiyTrtJfty
evening, in (lie third etorv hf PUfoaVßulldlng, onVlrginla
,«lwf,»r7&o’cbck,P.M;
irrwio®, W6e,5j0...a6,x;0.,]% tow «tntca.cpßn
cilscvert Tncsday evening Ib'ttia'X O. O.F. H»Tl t lathe
Masonic Thnfplc. Cohncß Ilro kindled at Tth rim 30th
breath, >v. A. ADAMS. C, <tf ft. • [Jtme2s vl ’67-ir
JumnrSms of America-Cmbp Xq. 31, meets every Mon
dvrightrin the,third Hall, at7}^ o’clock
Oamp, ,Vo. k J. [& of At jaMts every
Tiwway evening, mtho 2d story <A Pntton’s HalL -
; COUMTY OFFICERS. .’■< i t r
Judges of the fttptfc—Presldcnt, Hon. Gaurga-Taylor.*-
AryxJiicj, J-pcnnJone5 r ,Dncld Caldwell. '
MdHdge. v ' . \
' ■"‘tfijfcr Caldwell. ;
: DeirntyT'-John HcCittre. •■■:; r
, Duhict Attorney — L. Ilcwit. , .„ r A * ir ;
(bawdy Com mitsionert—Juiia Hutchison, PttVid 31. Con*
■ hr. J.K.McParlnhc. ‘ : ' v: ’V-i .
(hiiatyiVnYjtort-JamMiL. Gw inn. ‘-L
Treasurer —S.,Uoover. . ...
Auditors—3. W. ’llppery, ?. Morroy, A. C. McCartney-
I’oor'UotUe Directors—C. Qay.r, George Wfehver.Bmruel
. Sluter.. lf , -i , e;;-- •V
Coroilcr-cJamesyonk.• , , ;,, ’ .;.... , ,
Kupefintendeht ei/'CSmmdn SAdHs—Soha l>can.' '
ALTOOMA BOROUGH OFFICERS-
Justices of the Jiaee—Jacob Hoodj J. Jl. Chsiry. ?,v
Burgess —E. 51. .Tones. .
Tinen Council —Janies hotvther, R. H. McCormick. John
Allljon, Peter Bccil, Xclson Ohindlng. 1 ' '*; ‘ x ' -■ *
Dresvle.nt of Council—R. H. McGormiet -• " '
.C/cW;to (ouiicil^ohn.McClelland;
D'rbdnh Treasiirer— James.Lowther. ' , , ' j..
Sfhoof W; Pattern; C. B. Stnk.H.'.C.
llwon, Ocb. IV. Sparks-Joseph Mol*t,-vr nr; OiMcComidt.
n-mwrer of .Hoard—War; C, JtoCartukk.
ihyh KI Ely*. .
lhr:pg fertw _j obn T MiC j ( . I j linar j ■ it-
A editors—-G. D- Thomas, Xlios. Hc3Unh..
.ituwsr-jjghn McClelland. , . ■
ral Assessors —Daniel Prico.' Bftrid'Dehl. ' "
JK fgeof-hUcliont—y.a.it W'nnl-hJolin D. IVnrfel.
u ~.•• !: "V-st “ iJacob Good. r
■ ~ m Korth “ Alemndcr Riling.
I inspectori-iAst Ward-E. A. Beck,
« 'vi f, 3 - Roberts/ M. Claubnagh.
■ .North iVra. Vulen tinc r Wm. IteeiC
T LARGK AMOUNT
jiuiTo “ UKiAN’ 6 S P* Tcc tf
‘tolVht thfiUxrn** J ,■ . . Uo »idayHburc f which 'will bo
m i vl o r n , , C:L - !l , I,r!c ' 3 - *l«6 or retail. The
man t>no wants lim only to call. ,[Dec.l7,tf,
JTEXE Y LEHR'S STDEIT IS, IN
T? IG ‘ S * DATES, prunes, emiOKS
■ Ciirrayts m store ami for sale bv. ,
• 131 Kortil 3Jetrefet, Vhiliwlelpliia;
A lmonds, walnuts, cream
"■*" and Filberts in store nnd forsaloiiy
M,„v WM. N. SIiUGATU),
a-o, oS-]y] 101 Korthtid street. Philadelphia.
TOitk LEAD AND ZINC
T p} T mim AND NEW ORLEANS
szt ,r ' o ‘ v**
PATENT
--- *£>.., *
,V r • _ (
THE INDIAN’S FAR]
•Fah*wku.l—l*ll seek the farthest rergo
6f earth’s remotest shore;
there let the Night blrt sing my dirge,,
- Wbemny lonowanderlng’ao’cr. '
- ; ,^ljsituponlh^oceanbrUk,
:Andlfl Ito^Jeamsaom*--
for my broken hearts
?>■ e.»- -•
“JTI q^iytoO*
for white h&a Will atit syirm *'
I'&dsnO «pon sente oraggypeak,
!... ■: tbcirnest; (■;'«■
.^h9r&ctßKle«Acnream.dMlUagdo«ii,
*' '• -Jfl- >/ \
, W> a •'■
V. y, ': .;,
■4, ■ •
■•A.'fcf. V .
1 1'J ,v’ >
I’lllooknot tomynattvelaml,
•/• bUssfol shore; ’
■t - s (IQppreeslan there ne’er hcATWthostgV
Wm*
Tbe Old Miui’s . .
5
•old gloomy and sad V
!•”■ i> j&fci s:; young -master! ‘I hsvo enpngb ;j
to maKeynie Ssad iu»d djrell <
pfa ’ ' J Ji
by ?
I WellteJiua some, of thair history V
| ‘I wilUtell you eouite pf tHeir historyj
[ but I could bi^ "Dd you
sec Jfial | ? be*
Xiau away
from bdn)o/
*lloh away from. home! flow' was
thatr?’- „ n ■
#jme.hutas I
: Wu honie,/jTliftt .was Jny
-£tofcsay tod. jrhlle
to
jtnyiinother* and unkind.tomyfetifer j- and
the day before he ;t&rd : me how it
wQuld; : hair at I,would
ii ■■;■ .’ .t ■••• ;• ■ ::Ai -i- -.
‘My father. cooghed aslwcat hyhis
; door, «jd I r&owgtrtl; jOT.jnoj&er
artj&t.to^h|ra’j;*B9^‘Stq^
in Riding
%eath.
:ed to hear that cooghin. every part of the
worlds ' i;: '■■ !
11 00 A-M.
8 OCf A.M.
6 10 P. M.
;fi 00 . **
~ 8.00 “
is. -
Wljjsn X Ead HnlofilcHd ttie front <lc>or
-and-told -me she iutd
'rametldligtto tdl miG ih ihe' I
<kQdWfthat-U> lV^|shehad,^^fciQlt^Bgm
her little rbbiH,’aH(l4oohed at her j but my
tears feU -end I was
•afiraid it'woiilii 'SfDkB her. ; : Half bho:dcd ;
I grtOßod down stairs. V M. J ‘V/:;
had gontly cl<«ed ibe cottage
dhuCdib ahdye my head,
hpoand there was my
She spoke to me, and wheif I did not an>
s#er; she cried aloud to ine j .that ery his
■; /'l-; - . /Vv V;
,‘ As I hurried away, I felt, i supposcy
as Cain .felt .when he murdered his,brother.
My toy mother, my sisterhad bedn
kind' tp me: and Thad been unkind to
|bhm r j anh in leaving them, 1 felt as lf- I
heen inurderibg them .all. ' T
* Had I been a robber I could not havA
felt mote guilty. But what do I say this
•feir? I teas a robber! X was robbing
theui of their weace. I was stealing from
thein what the whole world could not
make up for them; yet on i went. O,
that I could bring back that hour! It’s
sixty years ago.; it seems but as yesterday V
‘>¥6ll iny poor old man, where did you
igb Valid when did you come hack again ?’
‘Go ? I* went to sea, and was out an
-over the world for ten years. After ten
long years -I came back again, I hoped to
see iny home and the dear ones I had left:
Xor I was sorry enough by that time.
‘ I came hack. The hills looked;as pur
ple as they did when I used to climb them.
The rooks were cawing amongst .the elms
by the church. I wondered whether they
were the same rooks. Then I came to the
corner of the hedge, and the .old scat where
my father used to sit, but there was no
signs of him there. A little further on
was the patch of ground which my sister
called her garden, but she was not walk
ing Injlt. Yonder was the bedroom win
dow, but my mother was not looking out
of it. O, how I thought of her last cry !
‘ I saw how it was. There are none of
them here, thought I, or things would not
•look ns they do. ; Eather. would never, lot
the weeds grow in this fashion,.qr let the
ihatoh : fall in j 'mother and ,sister would
I’Sefi panes.' rll
dferkil how-holloW it; hotrods. Ndbody
stirs. ■ All Is silent ’it “ i*h'e grave. fPib
pee* in said Ltomyself,. atthatWhiddw.
<Ah3 ifean empty bouse, that’s
flow could it she otherwise? < * Ibad bdrne
many & harddny on . the deep, blit ioould,
■not Wrthis. >
. . <#.
; .was inhlosfioin, just as
it was whenlran <and thewood- :
bine.waa ftß'fcjesli ap ;sver, ruantogupto
-tte window ptxfc of mother cal
.ledmo.’ .. H .
wi $M “4 O PP[ n g e T r
1 11 cross to tne cmwqh-yard, thought 1/
sod see if the Clerk livejp where he did.—
Bat perhaps he wopldnft know tie.
cheek was like a rose when I went away, ,
hnt the sub has made it bnother color now.
Why this is a new gate. * How narrow
thephth is between -the graves ; how full.
: 6h® churchyardis :«f ifeCm. There isihe
-old sun-dial-standing thjere yet. The last
rimel was in that tmurchmy Either was
Withme: 1 remember the Vicar preach
ing.upon the text, ‘my sob, hear thou the
instructionsof thy fatber,wnd fobsake not
• the law of thy* mother/! t) what a cnrae
■w» bring upon ns, whcb we despise Hod’s '
iholy word/’ v. . -1: ■(. t -I
was my wwVb graveunder the
oß’yew J stepped joside to look at it;.
there was the grave stone. Why, thought
L^swritfcnnow^^
‘ln memptyyOf Humphrey Hayproft’,:?-
,that’s T my uncle. Wilt’s the next I: and.
Walter Haycroft, his hrtf the?—why that’s!
my father! my poor 3£ary
His wife ’ Ohlmy mother and my hither,
i are you t hqth gone ?. jlly s
ejes burst out ip teprsL J weptt
me'thath6foire• , ' 1’ . ■ :
i ■ «'But there Was anoid er name yet, and I;
saw it Was freshly Cut it was ‘ Esther :
Haycroft their dabghtei •;’ alas! my sister,
top—all, .arc gone! ; : What did they think
of Hie When i left thchi ? 0, how unhap
py must I’havemeide them ! what a wretch ■
I am! why did not theSeaSwaHow me up
.When I was 5 deae'rved it."
■ ‘ tenpugh] yon seem v«ny :
miserable- 'indeed. -Thank you for your
sudatory; I-ahaH inot soon forget it. I,
■understand now »diy: .you come into the
chprehy a^d^sftd, end gloomy, looking at
the graves; it has made me sadder than I
> .
X.
t;
'-‘-V
was/- - -i-i-••-.••. ■
‘ I it .will. anakp you wiser, too,
Jj.-W,sj& feistoiy,-
ja^ier
|ie if yoh do:
‘Ttyj eye.that .mbckcth fat his father, and
phej, his ujibther, the ravens
oiftnc valley"shall,',plhek it put, .and ihe
yoiWg shall eatit.
1 f Sutye£ I recoUect rby jpoordear moth
er pointing ifte to the ; Xiaml) of God which
taketh awhjfthe sins'pf the world. ‘ There
•fe-no refuge heiide/ said she, ‘.Christ is
able and willing to save/ ' I don’t under
stand this then ; hut I hope ! do now/
4 good-one Istold of a . worthy Deacon
in the city of S— —, in : Northern Ohio.-
tphe d)eacon-wes the owner and overseer of
a* large pork-paoking.ejitabHshinent. His
duty it wow,-to gtana nt- the head of ,the
scalding-tropgh, watch in iwmd, to “lime”
the«eald.| l‘JJogin4” when
( the just slaughtered hog was to he thrown
In tho troughs, and “Hog put the
watch iojd .three minu|es. Quo .week
&WW sard, and .Satorday
completely.ex
hausted. Indeed, he iick the
ik,ps
his duty tb aCtehd fhe |mal semcelf Jhe
obitfd; : ;Th| wae one
of unusual sblenmit&’ilsa remaj Was in
wrdgrcss- The mihratef preachhdaserfnon
well calculated for dfedt. ; His peroration
was acliinax of grcat' beauty, framing
the attithdo of one Intently • listehingjhe
recited to thehreathlesjs. auditory:
‘‘Jlarki! thty angels ray”—
“ Hog **” Deacon’s inewj
In annntonan yoice. ijChe Au
dience tnfned their attention from jtite
preacher! "He went oji> howpverj.nnWftVf
ed — ’ ■ .■ 1 j
„ .‘‘Sister spiritjCOmeawny-I”
« ffag ont /’’shouted the Deaeon—“
Four!” ' I ■■> i
This was too ranch for the .preacher pd
audience. The latter jpmlcd, soipe snick
ered audibly, ■ while a few boys broke for
the door, to “ split sides” laughing,
outside, within full hearing. The preacher
was! disconcerted—-sat jdown—arose again
—pronounced a brief benediction, and dis
missed the anything iclse than - solemn
minded herrers. The | Deacon soon came
to a realizing sense of his unconcious in
terlude, for his brethren reprimanded him
severely; while tho “ boys” caught the
infection of the joke, and every possible
occasion affordc(Tan opportunity for them
to say, “ Hog in 1” “ flog out /”
ALTOONA,
A &ootf One— 'Hog InMlog Out !
‘Sarah/Bilid a youpg man the other
day to a lady of that [name, ‘ why don't
you wear earrings V ? : ■ *
‘Because I havn’t had my ears pjorc*
■td/ rv v it 1 -v;.
’ ‘ I ydu/ said hm
; <,l y
enough; already.’ • : • *•■■" ■
[ISDEr£NO£ST IS. EVEETTHIUGj
‘i-, THOESDAT, NOVEMBER 25, 1858.
Signing the 1 Fledge,
Rev.johu Abbot, the sailor preacher,
relates the foUowing good story of one of
Jus conyerts to Temperance :-r-.
Mr. dohnsop, at tue close of a cold
tef intimated that be must sign
the pledge’ in* bis own way) wh|ch be «d
M'tiaese words:
“ I, William Johnson, pledge myself io
diink no more intoxicating liquor for one
■year;” ; ;; :^
Some thought he wouldn’t stick three
days, others allowed him a week, and a few
gave him two weeks ; but the landlord
knew h|in best, and mid he was good stuff,
hut at the end of the year, Bill, would be
a good soaker. Before the year was quite
gone, Ijdr. Johnson was asked by Mr. Ab
bot, “ Bill aintyou going to renew the
pledge ?”
“ Well, I don’t knflw Jack, hut what I
will; I have done pretty well so.far;, will
you let me sign it again my own way ?”
“G, yes, any Way, so that you won’t
drink rum.”
He writes; ...
‘‘ I, William Johnson, sign this pledge
ibr nine hundred and ninety-nine years,
and if living at the end of that rime, 1
intend tp take-outaleasefor life.” - , .
A day or two a|tar, Johnson went to sec
his old landlord,. who eyed. hip as a hawk
does a chicken. “ Oh, landlord*” whined
JSill, accompanied with aondiy contortions
of the as. if enduring the post ex
cruciating torment, “IhaVe such a lump
on my side I”
“That is because you have stepped
drinking; you Won’t live two years longer
ht .tbisrate.” >
“If I coipmenec drinking will the lump
go away ?"
“ Yes. If you don't yon will have an
other just such a lump on the other side.”
“ Do ypu think so landlord ?’i
“<3ome, Bill,” said the landlord, “let
usdrink together, v at the same time pour
ing the red stuff from a decanter into his
glass—gug, gug, gug.
“No," says Johnson, “ I dan't for I
have signed the pledge again.”
“ You ain't though I You .are a fool/'
“ Yes, that old sailor coaxed so hard I
off.”
“ l .wish the devilhadthc old rascal. —
Well, h6w long do you go this-time ?”
“ For, nine hundred and ninety-nine
years:” Whirred Bill.
“ You'won’t' live a year.”
“ Well, if I drink, you are sure the
Jump on my side, will go away V’
“Yes.”
“Well, I guess I won’t drink.;here's
the lump,” .continued Bill, holding up
something with a hundred dollars in it;
“and Wuaay I will have wore such lumps
wjiat I want!” .
The Teactujr.
Mr. Wayland says; “if. a teacher can do
nomore than repeat the questions at the
bottom of the page,-and near the ready
made, answers, he had: better quit the busi
ness/' . ■ .■ ... ■■■ -■
Howmqny teachers in this and other
counties'would'have to leave, the. business
if this test were applied ? But, says one,
what jure the questions'there for, iF ndt to
be asked f-Simply as a guide to the teach
er, ;to icnahlcr him the inorereadily to pre
senfetbe whole subject in his own style,
>and after q ofquestioning that
shallhe fmted .tp .the condition andcir
qumstances of the class.
It is often the case, that one printed
.question.at the bottom of the pageean he
divided into several, jead
ing m piany,other tojacs con-
with the qnblept, " thus qxtei*sng
the of and opening up
fie!dsnthft:wobldbe otherwise untrodden.
When this 6he, question (after a t&risjop)
has beeii dispbsed of, the hext pnntod
question bringp ihe teachfef back again to
JtLesiibjcct matter ;o£ the lesson.' The if
geiuoes mid succesd^il : fsafiber seldom
page. They
■■ :
. ; B|RUtoNB.-rTA eorremohdent sof the
Jbfwterian, . thinks, mat sermonsin
length should be
mons, 25 minutes, orthodox sermon?, 35
urinates j long sermons, 50 mmutesj pre
posterous sermons, 60 minutes. ; a
sermon reaches 35 minutes, it has '.pas
sed a Rubicon eabh additional minute is
equal to two, $ll the hour is exhausted;
thereafter the increase is : ih geometrical
progression, - and -the English liqigbnjft
does not furnish adjectives sufficiently ex
pressive to describe sermoiis . beyondjihe
60 minutes. Orthodox sermops may bo
either long or shorty, but never .prepostor
ous.” : ‘ ■■" ‘ ’ ’ '' ■' ■ ' ■
Js@»An.old: toper iet he could
blindfolded tell each of the .several Jkmds
of liquors. When brandy, whisky, , gin
and other drinks were prerentad to him,
ne pronounced correctly what they were.
At length a glass of pure water was given
him | he tasted it, paused, tasted It again,
shook his head, *'o«n*
Clemen, I givo it -up, I am not to
these sorts of liquors." . - . ' t
Little Settle.
‘Hand tte eotoo water, Baddy) wot
your " ]
‘ In a mintaie, Hettie/
And Bettie’s fenrorish oheelcs r wet
pressed again to the pillow* and Uttie Hw
tv’s ban<ds went on as busily as cyer witl
the trap be was making, and be at lengtl
entirely forgot the requests ; 1
‘Please get it now, Buddy/ be at Im
heard, and scattering knife, trigger aM
strings, in his haste, he was soon hotdinj
a cup to the crimson lipa ; bat she taraid
her head languidly from it. ;
‘ Not this, please, .but some fresh sin
cold’from the well/ she-said. |
* Oh* don’t be so particular Bettie-j
this is fresh, and 1 am'so busy I can’t ;g
now. Won’t this do?' • |
She no longer reftrsed,but quietly took
the cup which heoffered; ana it was ibje
last, last time she everodled Upon |ur
brother for an act of kindness. Ere (u -
other day had passed, she stood beside ike
River of Life, and drank of its cool water i,
never to thirst again. And of all who
wept over that little brown coffin, as it lay
upon the tabie before the pulpit, there
were none who shed more bitter tears thaa
that little boy, who could not forget tint
he refused the last request of ms litt p
■Sister.-! ' '■ - | !
Little children, are you kind to one hi
other, (nr are you cross, selfish and Iretfn
Remember, then, 'the time may con
when they may. be beyond your reach J
and then, Oh how gladly wpujd you gh
all you possess to have them back again
You might gather alb your books andtcn
—everything for which you are nowh
willing to contend ; but all you could; <
with them would be to place them on jtl
grave of one you had wronged. It won
not bring them back. Henry was a kim
hearted boy, and dearly loved his litt
sister, and she had only been sick d litt
while, so that he did not consider her dai
gerously ill. But this was no comfort 1
him when she was gone...
‘ Oh, mother!’ he would say, *ifl it
only brought that water for her, I cop
bear it j but now she is where I can nqvc
never wait upon her again I’
Think of this when you arc tempted
quarrel, to be selfish or unkind j for \i
you know if one of you should die, tl
rest would remember every act of unkih
ness, every bitter word which ( had falle
from your lips I But then it would be U
late to recall it—too late to nsk forgiyi
ness. — N. 0. Press.
The Grand End op Society,. —Pro
city continually tends to become amo
vivid idea than right. In the strugg
for private accumulation, the worthT
every human being is overlooked. Tl
importance of every man's progress is ft
gotten. We most contend for this gte
idea. They who hqld it must spread
about them. The truth must be sound*
in the ears of men, that the grand end
society is to place within the reached*
its members the means of improvement,
elevation, of the frue happiness of m<>
There is a higher duty than to build aid
bouses for the poor; and bhat is to eh
men from being degraded to the blighti
influence of an alius house. Man hap
right to something more than bread!
keep him from starving. .He has a rig
to the aids, and enconragements 'a
culture, by which he may fulfill the d<
tiny bf a man ; and until society is hr
to recognize and reverence thft, it w
continue to'groan under its praentmft<
ies.— f
A Legal Point. — A few monripgs
since, one of our .lawyers was startled ft* nj
Ms dxeams of rich .cueqts and fat fees! )jf
a loud ’ knocking at bos office ,• door. | id
opened the when Ҥ gentleman, oft
Africa," edmmlonly known aSHaripbsO
''om^^^M)|ih'epDdhfrfV' s ' . j
“Look here. Judge,” said he, “I w«nt
your opinion hn alaw pint” f ■
“ Well, go oh.” ‘ ; f ;
“ S’poae a hum brings some eggs* to
town andhires anoder nigger to seuhm,
an' dat uiggeP-can’t.do ft and ho gibe *( on
to me an' llose de money, kin he do any
ring wid me ?” . v i
JTbe learped
msest dook, informed him ttoM ho kh sw
of no law to.pnmsh him. ... .
Yah,yah chuckled Jack, u Iknow’d
he could'nt in de ftst place—-kase* df—-
kasef-de eggawas toltonany how. Judge,
when•duzyou want your boots blacked?”
Romm I?CN ASP A .OONDUCTOR. —The
conductor who was discharged from the
.of ono .of the Ohio Rairoads
some time ago for inviting a friendj to
nde dyer the rpad with him, as he did not
like, to ride in the train alone, has been
re-appointed by the superintendent. ]Ho
is again the hero of another adveritijre,
which has been hiade public. On a recent
trip the train of •which this conductor has
charge overtook a cripple limping along
by the side of the - track, when our hero
the conductor kindly invited him to get
on and ride. The wooden legged man
thanked him, and replied that h© would
as he was in a Htopior! T!bat
thxowinghp
i his commiesloh. :t!
EDITORS AND PROPRIETORS.
\ i
, •••
A Caution to Young 9l«n.
: A/young medical student from Mtdd«
;gtt,Trho naj been attending lecturesin
Slew York for some time, and considered
himself exceedingly good lookingand fes*
einajking* made a deadly ondeton the heart
and fortune of a blooming young lady mho
was boarding in the same bouse with 6y»<
Alter a prolonged siege the lady snrrda*
dered. They Were married on Wednesday
morning. The same afternoon tbe “young
wife” sent for and exhibited to thesfcten
isbed students “beautiiul little daughter,"
three and 4 years of ago., ,
Good H&venis! then you were * wld
ow,” ezolaimed the astonished 1 student
. “ Yds, fay dear, and this is AtaeSia, Ay
youngest ; to-morrow, Augustas/ James
and Reuben will arrive from theeeuftfty,
and then I shall have all my children
getber ones more." '
The Unhappy student replied not a
word; his feelings were too deep for Ut
terance. The next day the " other dar
lings” arrived., Repben was six yean eld,
dames nine, Augustus a sauoybey-of
twelve. They were delighted tu Jney
had a « new papa,” beeausethey tepid
now live at hoqte and have
things ;they wanted 1 The f* newpaps,"
as soon as ne speak, nunrheu that
Augustus and James did not much resem
ble Reuben and Ameßa. "'"T‘
“Well, no,” said the happy mothlrv
“my first husband Was different
style ofxnanirommy second—oompl«*ion,
temperament, eotar of hair and
different.''
This was too much* ite hadnpt only
married a widow, hut' was her thud has*
band, and the akonishedjstep -fethetof
four children.■ ; " .
“But her fortune," thOTght he*«flwt
will make amends." '. He spoke oSJbpjtgcp'-
tuno ' .
“ These are my treasures,"
the Roman matron 'style, pointing"to her
children.* . V ■ ; p T
r The coneeit was now quite taken ottfcbf
the Michigander, who finding th§t hc h|d
made a complete, goose of himself atonpe
retired to a farm in his nature State,
where he could hare a chance to remJhr
his f‘hyos” useful, and make theai sweat
for the deceit practicad uponhim bytheir
mother. . '
An iNDIGNANT WoMAN.—rA Ifldy ftps
expatiates Upon a delicatetopic '
“A womaff '♦('bo loves unsought, de
serves the storc-of thenian
Heaven forgive me I ■ trot tnay tHoman
who penned.that paragraph nov‘er£oe>aQ*
oilier bonnet ! Mpy go..
arms encircle his cravat, orbuttonsveKe- ;
■fete oh his sbirts. Way
press hie and the tales grdht
that his dinkey Strings’ break short .off
every mornipg. ; Iday no 'WpmanVJieiirt
learn to beat pster-7-cxcept with mdigpa
tion—at the 'mention of his mme, add
may his ithckings hlways need
And When his nerves lore all nhat&thg ! by
disease, and his .head throbs withpain, as
tbqagb wefe
mayhehaye jawing ip his sick chamber
butboot neels, and see hot one inch of
muslin or calico*
;Ie
>f
lie
' -tS> An editor of a country paperthhs
humorooslybids farewell tp-hm readmit:
:ff;jpbe Sheriff |s yfc*iting fornoih thejuat
pathetic. Major Nabm says yvearo wan
ted and most go. ; Delinquent subscriber,
yonhavenmoh to answer
may forgive you, but I never can i rt ? •"
Wit«?.r-Whqfl tbe wind Proves
at tne rafe ofope mile an it Is hard
ly ' perceptible, at two miles an hohh; it
mas ns as the gentle zephyr. FrOnTlep
to twenty, it becomes High, and thirty 7 16
fifty characterize storms from ligHtto dark,
at eighty miles an hour it becojpea,& ; hlir~
icane, and one hundred a torando. •
. eccentric, wealthy gentleman
etuokup a hoard in afield upqn nip Ostade,
onwhich was painted th e ibllowibg $ *1
brill give this field to any man who is con*
tended.* :
Ho'sopn had an applicant.
‘ Well, sir, are yon a cont cndedmftn V
‘ Yes, sir, very/
* (Then what do you want iritH My
-field;?' ■ ■ " ’
The applicant did not reply. .. :>i.
#j£,lf a man baa failed to estimate toe
affections of a true hearted wHo, ne ' #9l
be very likely to mark, the value of Us
loss 4 when the heart which he : lovedU
stilled by death. i . , :
BQ|, “ Shall I have your saifd
an esquisite to a belle, as the dane&'waa
about to commencel “ TVhith
heart/J was the soft response! /, .t'i'
ftaF* Self-love is at oncethenaoet .deli
cate and the most tenacious of out .senti
ments ; a iajere nothing will wound it, hut
nothing oh the earth will kill itl . ’ "J‘ '
: 9Sr Poker Sharp saye hip
toffiye “ fulls 1 b eanti-ful, duti-ful, pouth
ful, aw-ful, and am-ful.
-t
SO. 42.