r'iscasoß, n\iefo a|t
<*r Oonorthm^^S^-
t£c7 ”
tJjc awful ■leatnictloß
305. end t he (leceptlona
us of suclr disoasra Lv
ir Consulting Surgeon
i <iiseat,--. in all tW,
all whouppi.
Condition. (mjC, OCCU
RS Of extreme poverty
ivo of charge, it o
•omni.imia the highs*
ui3h the most approt
paah fee] assured that
Ion! ojou, have been
ciall.v to t ho voinii
iiw-Ivos, with rsnawatf
i tioijiis.'d caue.
a llcpori on Spenaa
vice of Oiiiiulsni, Mht
of tho Sexual
which will be eest-bv
oil the receipt of
hr. GJJOHGE R. CAL
-1 -tssaei.ition. No.2s.
order of tho Directors
iAIIIWELL.
[ hoc. »-ly.
NT!—A NEW
V PLACE.
jEHR ’
I th r . citizens ofAltoo-
iox store;
.'mi Lehr, on Thylw«
h. co tiiey wUI behap.
•n i . ith a call., JhJat
itiug of '- - j
Bacon,
Coffee,
Fish,..
Fish 6*l,
Alcohol,
inceO. '
f.On- READY CASH,
eg of purchasing anj.
. them a crih the*
r.iil cost. Weilkcc
■ buys. Givens a tri
r<lr> yan T+.flfi
'(jVi'Sl-^Thd
■ i (’•* iihtyl o
!>i nil rcepccta. The
fi.t- Sum are soaxraiig
.U;e perfectly and ut2-
f this Stove.must sat
ja i v ersftl lavoriU. '
.L,
■f f 'xxl capacity—tW
and lift L thurmufe
i.ly lje‘recomm«fws
t - - . •■■■•. constantly<;«l
i.pu n. BCsifc.'
• ■o« Uohtf. AtbooiuL
tie- truth.pf lUUsiiy.
ally kdmmncei'WO»
that he hns enUnd
1
i luoj Gallagher, Inr
lie lias just received
.v TESTINGS/
y.hich he willniakets
•a Rich cahnotEsutc
IEST SXVUEB,<sr^-
FASHIONS, o
-.V the total fkstMloUl
olha.matle pa vratldt
■ '■ r-rmiScdthat noth
• .o-ii'liT imtisfhctfohto
i auon.age. v A.-,.,
JOHN TALBOT*.
:» ITS
ili-hcd, Gratis, thedtoh
IoX.VL TREATaOsjifi
••ii “t Local
X' rv.n:s Bilinity/Xmpo
•• -• a*r.d)y, by , i-rH >'
l: IIF LANKY, MUf
darmingcompUiita,
-i i i udu of youtK wV •
ii in tlilijmku
i itirely.newnndbalh
i*i- the Author,.fuUy ■
• •;. e <nahled’fofe)lik i
- -di+-cofVtbo**r
• ■ ':■»« Aiy. ; . V.»
K-: fteedu-.«, •ealedite
;>. «■ York City.' ■ '*j ,
FAfiS
.:l;ant Taftpy. lats of
■• dtitetjj tit iIWAa
iuildltltt .tJtf%doO|B
. ne door Southof Sta
ll. X t-iw ri.-cdvlg^iti*
\:\i goods, ;
i Pistrtand W#r
' i i h i Fat in V.elvpWwt*
Vesting*. In wwrtii
.:i of,which ‘,6b wj|l
• a the most rcaeona*
Up tliinksfwill.qis
■!. in w|th their wm:
) 1 XTY.—^PH2S
a New Map of
■ -T', contain! infill
’■ *sct
Villages, a
giving iUdUM«»
:i;,ravtd ou thßßar;
iM hcxji'sa’iw,to,l*Ms
ti. will -he colored •!»
■ ■Ti.l t i tnbecribeW-!®
- \MCJih OBllUi
■- AAro.jrnieiaV'
I’K ACTION
1 i'fllllC
i' m
a I’.rxire
■;u.dUy, be hopf*sU
’i'M!"ge. , : i
on i noualdß WnWi
iy attended to.-:'
iii|>oli!uled.''
h ( iAZEl'lrii.—,
.. .uni CrimiuaUi* 1®
ip iilated throughout
t tvat TrlpK Cri*W£
iie ►■xiilivtogether. wW*
. t tohefouna lii W '
') for six
i nlil write thelflt*****
■. tiwy reside plainlyv
11 .ToELL4t»4 '
fi k Police Ga»tU»-. f i
Aue Yuri: dty-.
ack & O&i
cl Altoona*
XCIPAL Ci,U£B> •!
•• O'llrctians.jnadfl't* i
• .A.a-iJl;iud, withotAlp'
C i'-iir rate*.'
4
V. irOLLIDAI’f-
I. PA., ' ’ ’
m i i: lair. UunUglP^
. ■n;itt.v to ftU COWS'
i- i.rfMiit;
■ «* “fwjr
.jrJUW*
i'NEE,
ejntist,
site the Luth®*** 1
ro«.
_>( ■ M,
'•jd.'Dd
.ntv, im. >ta
...
- McCUUM & BEEN,
\oh. 3.
SeTALtOONA TRIBUNE.
SIcCKOM & DERX, ( PnMI«hf» «nd.Prohor
p»U for.
fZBM Of AKTMTIEUfO. _ ,l
1 insertion 2 do. 8 dp.
« 85 $ Sl}i $ <0
Four' lines orlofW- , * w * 75 100
*Une*» ( 1 00 ,1 60 2 00
T*’" « “1 1» 2 01) .2 60
T threeWsapd Ims than three months, 2. tea taper
iquare for each Insertion. 3month3 6 months. Iw4«v
$1 60 $ 3 00 ( $ 6 00
* 2 50 4 00 7 00
4 00 6 00 10 DO
Six linos or less,
Ono siinaro,
Two “
Three “ c 00, 10 00 WPO
l our “ lo 00 14 00 20 00
Half a column, no 25 00 40 00
One column, , _ . _ 175
Nc”hantS“^B X S the. year, three *nmres,
n® l 8 - f| 0o
Mesired. w ill he continued till forbid and charged according
nolSvo cents per line for every insertion.
Obituary notices exceeding ten lines, fifty Cents a square.
tribune directory.
CHURCHES, MINISTERS, &.C.
Prfthulcrian. Rev. A R. CiUr.K, Pastor.—Preaching ev-
T J Sabbath morningat 10>.j o’clock, and in the evening at
s.Vel jt-.S Sail hath School at, l» o clock, A. M, in Urn Lee-
Tare Kooin. Prayer Meeting every Wednesday evening In
U.':l Kiuicojtal. Rev. S_ A.WiUOS,Pastor.—Prcach
i.A .• Vl iy Sabbath morning at lu)»j o'clock and in the cven
ll, - <a'j!iath School in the Lecture Room.at 2 o'clock, P.
\f General Praver Meeting in same room every Wednes
day evening. Young »o»’u Prayer Meeting every, Friday
t '™"io/rheid Lutheran, (no Pastor.)—Sabbatl) School in
hie! lecture llootn at 3 o’clock, P. 51. Prayer Meetlug.in
lame mum every Wednesday evening. t >
T*itM Vrtlhnu. Rev. D, Stalk, Pastor.—Preaching ev
ery 'aMeiGi morning at 10% o’clock and Inf the evening at
il i/deelt. Sabbath School in the Lecture Room at 0
i.Vliak. A. M. Pray er Meeting every Wednesday evening
in j*Aiuc c< >Olll. •
Protestant Episcopal, Rev.R. W. Ouveh, Pastor.—Divine
Sefiioi 2d and 4th Sundays of each month lit 10J4 o'clock
A. M-. and i'/, P. M. Snnday School at 0 o’clock A. 31.
r.iUiulic, Kev. Jons Xwioos, Pastor.—Preaching at 10%
o'l lerk in the morning; and at 15% in the afternoon-.
liipli.,l, (no Pastor.)—Sabbath School at 0 o'clock, A. M.
African MrViodist. Rev. Sntjier C.vli, Pastor,—Preaching
every Sabbath morning at 11 o'clock and in theeveuing, in
the old Union School House,
ALTOONA MAIL SCHE.DUUEv
MAILS, CLOSE.
Bwrrn Way oa<l Hollidayrluirgut
Vmtrrn " ' .
- IWliiiUj "burs
tiwti-rii Through Mail
Wi-dtcTQ Trough, (S.'ilunhiya.)
MAILS ARRIVE.
ru Through Mail w 8 35 A.M.
Weiitorn Way and Ilollidayebtirg, U 30 I*. M.
i;.islcrn'“ ' • “ 645
onhir Open for the transaction of hn«lnc»9 from 7 AOI.
t' S It. the from-8 to 0 o'clock, A. 31.
va Sunday;-.:;
Juno 4, ’B7-tf]
RAILROAD SCHEDULE.
Express Tra|q East arrives 2,48 A. M.j leaves 2*sn A. M.
«■ W<at “ B,i2i “ “ B,aJ> •«
Fj-t “ /Eii'-'t “ C. 25 P. M. “ fI,4S I*. M.
“ “ 10,00 “ “ 10,05 “
j; „l “ 11.30 A. M., ‘f 11,50-A. .M.
‘ « Went “ 0.45 l>. M., ‘ 7,10} P. M.
The m)LIiI!)IVySBURC. BUAXCU connect* with Express
Train Wort, Mail Train East ami West uiyl dith Fait Line
li.t-1. ' ; ,! . • >
Tin- lILATUSVXLLE IyiAXCH connects w(th Joliftstown
Wav Train East anil West, Express Train West and Mail
*Tr.mi Kadt.
Pee. 21, ’5O-tf 1 IMS. A. SCOTT, Suji't.
MEETINGS OF ASSOCIATIONS.
Mountain iMhjr, A. Y. IL, No. 2nl, DieetsonaßCpiulTucu-
Oty of inch month. In the third story of the Masonic Tem
pi". nt TJ*j o'clock, P. M. I;-".-.
Itinn-rnHml JCi’campmenf,’ A. Y. M., No 10, meets on the
liar. 1 . Tu .i tiy of each month. In the third story of the Ma
sonic Temple, at 7J4 o’clocfc,Pl M; .
.if.Vma leuhjt, I.tJ.of 0. F..NO. 473, meets every Friday
evening. in thl- second story of the Masonic Temple, nt 7j£i
■ 'dock. ‘
tv. :«./1 Wy, r. 0. of 0. VvXo-532, meets every Friday
eT.-nlnyr, iii tie- third story Of Patton's Building, on Virginia
« tr- rl.-at 7Vi u'vliK-k, IV M.
inniubn</Q \Tribe, No. 35, I. 0.. E: M.v hold stated-Coun
cil. every TutWUy eVctung in the I. 0. 0. F.llall, in tlie
Mav nic Tempi!'. Coiitlcil iFire kindled otr 7th run 30th
breath. A. KHKIILK, Ctf X. • (Ju®® 2s , W-ly .
Junior Smf iff America, Camp No. 31, meets every Mon
day night iu the third story of Patton’s Uall, at 7 ]A o'clock
P. M.
COUNTY! OFFICERS.
Judges nf Uir. Court*.— President,' Hon. George Taylor.—
Associate*. J. Penn Jones, DavM.CaVdwell.
lYitlmwtar!/ —.Joseph Balclrhfge.
JlnjitUr and ifenonier-elfiightA, Caldwell.
ShrrijjT— George Port. Depot}*—Jdliu McClnVe.
Did rid Attorney —ltonj. li. Ucpfit." -k
<'inii’f/ f’ijmiitissiimers—A}\mai Hutcldaonj IJavid M. Con
•imity Surveyor-* James LiGwlijil. '
it. MeFarlanei' ' ;■■ A- "
Trmsnrtr —S. Hoover. ~ -
Amtkori—p. W. Tlppqry, {*. Morrow, A.,C. McCartney,
i W House Director*—C, (luyer, George Weaver, Samuel
Bhiver.
tWi«>—James Funk.:
SojKiintendcut of Common Schools —John Dean.
ALTOONA BOROUGH *
Justices of the Peace —Jacob Good, J. M. Cherry. ,
Jluryns—E. M. Jones. i
Jhien OjuikH —JariiesXowther, K. U. McCormick, Johns
Aliisin, J>eter Reed, Nelson Glandlng.
President of Owned—Jl. H. McCormick.
Ckrkjto i
Ihrmsnh TrMifirerJ-Spmto Lowthor, it , v
tkhoU Dirtciors—Oeprx. W. Patton, C. B. Sink, C. C.
Miuorn Geo. iv. SparkSTdCscph Wm. C. McCormlek.
Treasurer of Mori JfdarO—Wm. C. McCormick.. ,
High Ely.
Ttu OJfcctor^-^ohhMeClonaiw.
Ai'ditors—G. D.Thomas, Thos. SroMlnn. ; < f
J'ojior—John McClelland. - V ’■< '
.
Judy, of JZ/ectronl—East VTArd—John B. TTorfijl.
*• ’ M Afest “ 'Jacob Good.
“ “ North u Alexander BUing.
Inspection—Kast WardyUS. A. Beck, Alex. Montgomery.
“ West « ',5. H. Eohcrts, M.Cfculmagb.
“ North '«• ' Vm. Valentine;lm.,Becd. f ..
pIGH, DATisV PRUNES,
X and Currants Inirtore aad for jalo by V !.
; ’ ■ AVMj Ni BHUOABD,
March 25, >5B ly] Uj Northed stfeeC^Wiflaell>hla.;
A LMDJftfS, WALNUTS, CKEAhI
XJL ln'dore and for mIo toy
„ v 'l j- , WM. W. SHHOAJU).
MaircVi 26, * Wty] 101 *ti^t,^hUMt(ilp%ia.
EUPE WJIITE- DEAD AND ZINC
•Jf 0 CUromo. Otecn, YcUow, Pari* Creep; dry
orgrfondtpoUnt ; . KKpsr.Ktt’p.
A ‘ STANDARD PATENT
x\. JmWQJSVS AI [l-tf. KKSSMSR’S.
f 'OyEfiJN# AND NfiW ORDEANS
XJ Syrapjtf^l«^‘%t t ; I- '-pi l
June 18, ’OT-JyJ . ■ JIKNEY lißfftyp
n ROGER®.—A LARGE AND
\A Wnp&fai uMrtmiue if
cei«4*tCw(rtowof •; ■ XB. JULEMAS.
A BpOMmAirWPORTBRS, Tru-H
andShouTder-Braces fer Bftje it ‘
XXX'hjAM.; . \K*BSWEa%
MNKS OF ALL DESCRIPTIONS
’ neatly oad erpcdktoody ex&aid it tbiaoftc*. y
rj.LASS Bxlo TO 20x24, AND GUT
V/ toordsrty : W< KESSLER.
j r
i . ,
8 00 12 00
5 00
11 00 A.M.
S» A.M.
O U> P. M
8 00 - “
800 “
JOHN SHOEMAKER, P. M,
■X**.
.Sided' fctrg.
A MOTHER’S GIFT.
. Rifles Written by a mother, in a Bible—her gift to bor
ton. ;
Remember, love, whogaro thee this,
When other days shall come—
When she whohadthy earliest kiss.
Sleeps in her narrow home.
Remember, ’tsuis a motber gave
■Tho giil.to ono she’d die to save.
r • That mother sought a.pledge of lovo, - *
The holiest for her son;
And from the gift of Godnboro
She chose a goodly ono;
She chose for her beloved boy
, The; Bonrco of life, and light, and joy . • 1
■. ' And bode him keep the gift—that when
The parting honr should come,
. , Th<)y might hare hope to meet again,
In her eternal home.
She said his faith in tiiat vouid ho
Street incense to her memory.
’ And should tlic scoffer in his pride,
Laugh that fond gift to scorn,
And bid him. cost that pledge, aside,
That he from youth had borne!
She bide him pause and ask his breast.
If he, or she, had loved him best ?
A parent’s blessing on-hor son
, Goes with this holy tiring;
The love that would retain the o-_e,
i Must to the other cling.
Remember, 'tis no idle toy;
A mother's gift—aEjtEJtnEß, nor! '
Effect
Agamemnon’s Trip—Thrilling
Sarrativc.
The London Times, just received per
‘ Ariel/ contains a most intensely interes
ting account of the Agamemnon’s voyage,
from the time she parted from the Niagara
until,she reached Yalentia Bay. Wo ex
tracts few passages of exceeding interest:
,A Whale, and Cause ok former
FAiEtTRE.-— After having left the Niagara
a few hours, ami shortly after 6 o’clock, a
very large whale was seen approaching
the star-board bow at a great speed, rolling
and tossing the sea into foam all round,
and for the first time we felt the possibili
ty of the supposition that our second mys
terious breakage; of the cable might have
been caused after all by one of these ani
mals getting foul of it under water. It
appeared as if it were making direct for
the cable, and great .was the relief of all
when the ponderous' living mass was seen
slowly to pass astern, just grazing the ca
ble where-it entered the water; but fortu
nately without doing any mischief.
Panic Abo ard,— The vueit day to the
consternation of aU,ithc electrical tests ap
plied showed,the fault to be overboard, and,
in all probability some 50 miles from the
ship. Npt a second 'was to be lost, for it
was evident that the cut portion must be
paid overboard in a fpw minutes, arid in
the meantime the tedious and difficult op
eration of making a splice had to be per
formed. The ship was immediately stop
ped) and no more cable paid out than was
absolutely necessary ito prevent breaking.
As the stern of the. ship was lifted by the
waves a scene of the most intense excite
ment followed. It seemed impossible even
by using the greatest possible speed, and
paying out the least possible, amount of
cable, that the junction could be finished
before the part was taken but of the hands
of the workmen.
Extraordinary Scene. —The main
bold presented an extraordinary scene;
nearly all the officers of the ship and those
connected with the expedition stood in 1
groupes about the coil, watching with in
tense anxiety the pable, "as it slowly un
wound itself Dearer the joint, while the
workmen, directed by Mr. Canning, under
whose superintendence the cable was ori
.ginally manufactured, worked at the splice
as only men could work who felt that the
life and death of the expedition depended
upon their rapidity.
But all their speed was to no purpose,
as the cable was unwinding within a hun
,dred fathoms, .and ,as a last and desperate
resource, the cable-was stopped altogether,
and for a few minutes the ship hung on
by ; tho end. Fortunately, however, it was
'oidy for a few minutes, as the strfiin wns
continually rising above two tons, ahd'it
would not hold on much longer; when the
splice was finished, the signal was made to
loose the stopper, and it passed Overboard
safely enough, ? i J
,• When the excitement conscqUentupon
having so. narrowly saved the,cable had
passed aftavy we awoke to the conscious
ness that the case was : still as hopeless as
ever, for the electrical continuity was still
entirely wanting. Preparations were con
sequently made to pay put os little rope
possible, and to hold on for six 'hours, in
the hopes that the faultj whatever it might
be, might mend itself before cutting the
cable and returning to the rendezvous to
make another splice. The magnetic ned :
dies on the receiving instruments were
watched closely for the returning signals)
when in a few minutes the last; hope Was
extinguished by theirsuddenlyindicating
dead earth, which tended to showthat tlie
cable had bcen. : broken- from the Niagara,
or that the had:beeu completely
destroyed;
ALTOONA, PA., THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 9, 1858.
All Well Again.—ln three minutes,
however, every onewf 8 agreeably surprised
by the intelligence that the stoppage had
disappeared, and that their signals had
agaifi.appeared at 'their.regular intervals:
from*the Niagara. It is Ueedkss to say ,
What a load of anxiety this news removed
from the minds of every one, but the gen
eral in the ultimate success of
the operations 'was much shaken by the
occurrence, for all felt that every minute a
similar pcccident might occur. For some
time the paying out continued as usual,
but towards the-morning another damaged
place was discovered in the cable; there
Was fortunately, however, time to repair it
in the hold without in any way interfering
with the operators beyond r for a time
,Iy.reducing the speed, of the skip.
First Sail.-—Stupidity. —During the
afternoon of Monday, after half the voy
age had been accomplished, an American
three-masted schooner, which afterwards
proved to be the Ohieftan, was seen stan
ding from the Eastward towards us. No
notice was taken of her at first, but when
she was within about half a mile of the
Agamemnon she altered her course, and
bore right down across pur bows. A col
lision, which might prove fatal to the ca
ble, now seemed inevitable, or could only
be ayoided by the equally hazardous expe
dient of altering the Agamemnon’s course.
The Valorous Steamed ahead, and fired a
gun for her to heave to, which, as she did
not appear to take much notice of, was
quickly followed by another from the bows
of the Agamemnon, and and third
from the Valorous; but still the vessel held
oil her course, and as the only resource
left to avoid a collision, the, course of the
Agamemnon was altered just iu time to
pass within a few yards of her. It was
evident that our proceedings were the
source of the • greatest possible astonish
ment to them, for all her crew crowded
upon her deck and rigging. At length
they evidently discovered who we were,
and what we were doing, for the crew man
ned the rigging, and dipping the ensign
several times, 4hey gave us three hearty
cheers. Though the Agamemnon was
obliged to acknowledge these -congratula
tions in due form, the feeling ox annoy
ance with which we regarded the vessel
which, either by the stupidity or careless
ness of thpsc on board, was so near adding
a fatal arid unexpected mishap to the long
chapter of accidents which had already
been encountered, may easily be imagin
, cd.
Effect op the (In,vs. —To those be
low, who, of course, did not see the ship
approaching, the sound of the first gun
came like a thunder bolt, for all took it as
the signal of the breaking of the cable. —
The dinner tables : were deserted in a mo
ment, and a general rush was made for the
hatches and up on deck, but before reach
ing it their fears were quickly banished
by the report of the succeeding, gun, which
all knew well could only be caused by a
ship in our way or a man overboard.
Axotiieu Ameuican Vessel.—The
weather during Monday night moderated
a little, but still there was a very heavy
sea on, which endangered the wire every
minute. About 3 o'clock on Tuesday mor
ning all on board wept startled by the loud
booming of a ; gun. Every one without
waitpg for .the performance of the most
particular toilet,; rushed on deck to ascer
tain the cause of the disturbance. (Con
trary to all expectation the cable was-safe,
but just in the grey light could be?seen
the Valorous rounded to in the most war
like attitude, firing gun after gun in quick
succession towards a large American bark,
which, quite unconscious of our proceed
ing, was standing right across our stern.
Such loud and repeated remonstrances
from a large steam frigate were not to lie
despised, and evidently without knowing
why of the wherefore, she quieWy; threw
her sails aback -and remained hove- to.- —
Whether those ion board her considered
that we were engaged in some Filibuster
ing expedition, or regarded our proceed
ings as another British outrage Upon the
American flag, it is impossible to says but
certain it is that, apparently in great trep
idation, she lemained hove to until we had
lost sight of hef in the distance.
Band AijeAl).— By daylight on the
morning of Thursday the bold and rocky
mountains which entirely surround the
wild and pictfiresque neighborhood of Val
entia rose right 'before jts at a few miles’
tfistanee. Never, probably,'was the sight
of lahd more welcome, as it brought to a
successful terinmation one of the greatest,
hut, at the same tube, most difficult schemes
which was ever’nnderfttken. Had it been
the dullest and; 'most melancholy swamp
on the face-of the earth that lay before us,
we should have-: 'found it a pleasant pros
pect j but, as the suh rose from the estu
ary of Dingle; Bay, ringing with a deep
soft purple the folly summits of the steep
mountains which surround its shores, and
illuminating the masses of morning vapor
which hung upon them, it’ was a scene
which might vie in beauty .with anything
that could be produced by the most florid
imagination of ah artist. No one on shore
was apparently conscious of our Approach,
Spthc Valorous steamed ahead to Oic mouUr
of the haibor and fired a gun. Both ships
jpade straight' for Dowla? Bay ; and about
1 . ;
' [INDEPENDENT IN EVERYTHING.]
six o’clock came to anchor at the side of
Beginish Island, opposite to Valencia.
Landing the Shore End. —Imme-
diately after the ships east anchor, the
•paddlebox boats of the Valorous were got
ready, and two miles of Cable coiled away
in them, fop the purpose of landing the
end; but it was late' in the afternoon be
fore the procession of boats left the ship,
under a salute of three rounds of small
arms from the detachment of Marines on
board the Agamemnon, under the com
mand of Lieutenant Morris. The progress
of the end to the shote was very slow, iu
consequence of the very stiff wind which
blew at the time, but at about three o’clock
the end was safely brought on shore at
Knightstown, Valentia, by Mr. Bright and
Mr. Canning, the chief and second engi
neers) to whose exertions the successT of
the undertaking is attributable, and the
Knight of Kerry.
First Message Through. —The end
was immediately laid in the trench which
had been dug to receive it, while a lloyal
salute, making the neighboring rocks and
mountains reverberate, announced that the
communication between the Old and New
World had been completed. The end was
immediately taken into the electrical room
by Mr. Whitebouse, and attached to a gal
vanotneter, and the first message was re
ceived through the entire length.
A Thundering Ale.
Davidson College, North Carolina, con
tributes a very good story of a man with a
very bad habit. As it is all about lying,
the reader may believe it or not, as he likes.
In the old North State lives a certain
John Long, who draws a long bow whenever
he has anything to tell, and his character
for- truth and veracity, has been below zero
for many years. Captain Johpson had
been so taken in by one of John’s outra
geous stories, that he said to him, in a
pet 3
‘lf you make me believe one of your
lies again in a month, I’ll give you fifty
dollars!’
John pretended to be hurt by the offer,
and went off. A few days after he was
riding by tho captain’s post-haste, on
horseback, when the captain called out to
him:
‘ I say ! hello, Johnny ! stop and tell us
a lie or two this morning!’
John rode on, but cried out most dole
fully : ‘No time for lying now : brother
Jimmy has just been killed in the machine,
and I’m going for the old folks.” On he
went. s
Captain Johson ordered his horse, and
rode over to see the dead man, and offer
his services, but found him alive and well,
giuing cotton, and in no danger of the
machine. Just then John rode up and
demanded the fifty dollars. The captain
declaired it was a rascally trick, but'he
would have had to pay the money if Johu
had not let him off.
John Smith. —John Smith is a sort of
omnipresence. A learned scholar contends
for the universality of John Smith’s name,
not only in our, own, but among all lauds.
Commencing with the Hebrews, he says
they bad no Christian names, and conse
quently Johns—in Hebrew the name was
simply Shcmt or Shemit. In other na
tions, however, the,. John Smith is found
full, one and undivided. Let us trace it.
Latin-—Johannes Smithini.
Italian—Giovanni Smithi.
Spanish —Juan Smithas.
Hutch —Hans Schmidt.
French —Jean Smeets.
Greek —lon Skmitton.
Russian —lonloff Schmittowski.
Polish —Ivan Schmittiweiski.
I Chinese—Tohn Tchnunit. r
Icelandic —Tahne Smittson.
Welch —Jiohn Schmidd.
Tuscarora —Ton-ta Smittia.
Mexican—Jontli F’Smitix.
To prove the antiquity of the name, the
same savan observes, that in the temple of
Osiris, Egypt, Was found the name of
“Pharaoh Smithonis, being the 9th in 1 the
18th dynasty of the Thebian kings. He
was the founder of the celebrated temple
of Smithopolis Magna.”
Forgetting Misfortune. —Tim Mc-
Gowan, a gallant fellow, lost his life in the
Mexican war.’ He had lost an arm when
a boy, by having the limb crushed under
the wheel of a jaunting car,; in the ‘ould
country.’ His surviving brother, Dennis,
never ceases boasting of Tim’s exploits. —
In a Moyamensing bar-room, the other
evening, Dennis. began on the old theme
of the Mexican wqi> dwelling with partic
ular emphasis bn the heroic deeds of his
deceased relative.
“Och, xnurther, but ye ought to have
seen Tint at Ryo-sack-ardoUar-polc-mo,
(meaning Resaca do la Palma.) He caught
two Mexican black-guards by the cufls of
the necks, and kilt them both as dead as
herrins hy khqcking their heads togeth-
“Jlow could that be,* said a listener,
“when your Brother had but one arm ?” !
“Bliss yer sowl, 7 *’ Douiiik,
“one arm had he? ’Pwtfc true enough
for ye ; but then, ye see, Tim forgot all
about that whin he got into a fight."
A Bat in tbe Can.
A. dny or two since, says the Hertford
Times, just after the express train left
Stamford, where it' had been delated a
few minutes, to wood and Water, a r£t rati,
from one corner of the amidst the ■
feet of the passengers; As soon as it was
known that there was a rat on the floor of
the car, considerable excitement took place
amongst the ladies, and crinoline took a
sudden rise. The passengers struck at
the rat as he dodged from one side ;0f the
oar to the other, with their umbrellas and
Canes, but without any effect-—the old rat
successfully avoided all their kicks and,
thrusts, and disappeared undeif the Seat of
a fat woman, who sat at one end :of the
car, half asleep. A committee of one,
self appointed, hacked up by half adozen
full grown boys, suggested to tho fat lady
the propriety ofSrrsing, to enable them to
find the rat.
Now, it is no easy matter for a two hun
dred and fifty pounder, encumbered bya
huge mass of crinoline, to rise at a mo
ment’s notice; therefore, she declined.—
She was duly informed of the state of af
fairs, and of the critical position she occu
pied in the eyes of the public at thkt mo
ment. Again, she was requested to rise,
but she positively refused—like pertain
distinguished politicians, she scented de
termined to maintain her position, till a
broader and more comprehensive platform
was available. Various suggestion’s as to
the rat’s whereabouts wore made by ‘the
boys,’ in audible whispers, 1 which made
the fat woman
“ Blush like a full-grown rose. 1 '
and to get her eyes open. Many of the
gassengers seemed to have an ideahf their
own, which was quite amusing—-lijps were
compressed —cheeks expanded -r-;teeth,
worth from twenty-five dollars to untold
fortunes, were exhibited—
“ There was a silence deep as death,
And the boldest held his breath
For a time.” ‘
But that time was decidedly sliortj, for
at this point, the lady in question gave a
roll, which made the car fairly groan, one
or two spasmodic kicks, and the two hun
dred and fifty pounds shot out of her seat
like a skyrocket, upsetting babies and
bandboxes, crushing crinoline and beav
ers, landing about six feet from her seat,
upon a little old man, whom she nearly
smothered, besides knocking off his wig
and otherwise disarranging his toilatr—upon
which he remarked to himself ihat she
bad better ‘simmer down’ and join the
circus. After vigorously shaking her
dress, amidst the laughter of the passen
gers, she regained her seat, hnd the huge
mass of crinoline commenced to, settle to
'its proper place, and quiet was Restored,
whpn one of ‘ the boys/ whose mirthful
ness must be somewhat largely; developed,
burst out into a ‘horse laugh.’l The ef
fect was like a spark in a magazine j the
whole car exploded, and the fat womdn
joined in and laughed as hearty as the
merriest. Her jolly old aides' shook up
and down and the car springs vibrated,
keeping exact time. But what became of
the rat is a question.
Bgk, The Knickerbocker thus touches
the kind of beings that spoil very respec
table women, in idle efforts to be; very or
dinary men : ‘ There were spine ‘ strong
minded women’ speakers at a recent Hew
England reform convention; one; especial
ly, being a perfect brickess. -She was
very plain spoken; and she ‘aired her
mind’ fully—what there was of, it. She
manifested no little contempt for the male
gender; and not a little reminded us of a
scene which was once witnessed in the old
Park Theatre. The play for the evening
was that lugubrious pocket-handkerchief
aicce, ‘The Stranger.’ Directly before
us sat an elderly married couple. The
gentleman, a narrow-shoulderedrhigh-ear
:d, long-nosed specimen, ‘ most meek of
lis visage;’ the daihe, a very plump lady,
with head erect, cheeks glowing,' and eyes
wandering, beneath an exalted tdrhan, ant
above a ponderous ‘ bust/ which almost
threatened escape&ent. ’ The /man was
much moved at the distresses of Mr. ant
Mrs- Haller. Tears trickled down his
long nose and white pinched nostrils; ant
ever and anon he would jog Madame, that
she might assist his melaneholly enjoy
ment of the scene with her owh sad sym
pathy. But not so; shp told him several
times to ‘Hush!’ and/atlengthrcSpon?
ded to an appreciate ( punch’ froin the 'eL
bow of her leaser half; 4 80 stop 1 /fFd
a khoWn you was goiu’ to act
I wouldn’t Ha’ fetched you !’ He smoth
ered his reflected sorrow; and f dried up’
instanter.’ \ ] -
At a Virginia the
chorister being absent, the elder presiding)
whose name was Jeeter, calleds upon one
ofthe deacons and said, - after reading a
hymn,
. Jr® , v
4 The deacon lifted np iw yoipo, but m
Bjtead oiTnnging'a once, he /
tfy. « Brother Jeeter, ' ■ .
• This bring satisfactorily answered* Do*
con Moon pitched the tune.- { ■
EDITORS AND PROPRIETORS.
A TMde A Fortune.
If parents would consider the welfare
and h&ppincSS bf thcir children they would
choose the virtuous mechanic, farmer qt
Honest trader) as i companions andndljK
mates instead of the rich, who, aside from
their income, have hd moans Of subsxS-
. - 1 --i.. ■ i,
How often does this question- arise and
from religious parents, too, in choosing
companions and editors for, thSifr daugh
ters : • :
‘ls he rich r: . . .
If the daughter answers,.* Yo?, ho is
rich, he is a gentleman, neat instils dress,
and can live without frotk/ theparenta
are pleased; ~ / • .. 'v ; '
Not many yeafs ago a Polish |ady>jpf
plebian birth, but exceeding bcAuty and
accomplishments, won the affiectiq&f of >
young nobicinan, who, having he| con
sent, solicited her from her father in mar
riage, and was refu&cd. Wo may . easily
imagine the surprise, of the ntlbleman. :
‘Am I. not/ said he, ‘of sufficient rank
to aspire to your daughter’s hand .•’
‘ You are undoubtedly of the best blood
of Poland.’
' ‘And my fortune and reptCtatloft are .
they >» , < ; ,
‘ Your estate; is magnificent, and your
conduct irreproachable/ ( /
*Then having your daughter’s cohseht
how should I expect a refusal ?’ , j
, ‘This, sir,’ the .father ropHed, ‘is my
only cluld,and her happiness is the chief
concern of my life. All possessions of for
tune arb precarious: what fortune gives
at her caprice she takes away. I see no
security for the independence and com
fortable living for 'a wife but one j in a
woxd,' I am resolved that no! brie shall ho
the husband of my daughter, who is hot
at the same time piaster of a-trade!’
The nobleman bowed and retired silent
ly. A year or two after, the father was,
sitting at the dcor and saw approaching
the house wagons laden with .boskets, and
at the head of the cavalcade a person in
the dress of a basket maker. And whd
do you suppose it was ? The former edit
or of his daughter: the nobleman had
turned basket maker. He was. master of
a trade, and brought the wares triade by
his own hands for inspection, with a'cer
tificatc from his employer in testutfohy of
his skill. .. . ' ’
The conditions being fulfilled, ho' fur
ther obstacle was opposed to th‘e marriage.
But the story is not yet done.' Tho Rev-*
'olution eamc; fortunes wore plundered
and Jords were scattered as ohaff before
the four, winds of heaven. Kipgs became
beggars, some of them tcaohcfs.: and the
nob|e Polo supported his WxfS ah(| her*
father in tlio infirmities of age by hisbas
ket making industry.
BSSU ‘Mr. Showman, what is that?’ : ;l
‘That, my dear, is the rhynocery. Ho
is cousin Germed, or Dutch relation (9 the
unicorn. ' He was bom in desert of Saiy,
Ann, and fed on bamboo.and missionaries*
He isumry courageous, and never leaven
home unless he moves, in which case hip
goes somewhere else, unless he is oyena
keU by the dark. He waabroughtto
country much against his ' will, WludljMßO
counts for his low spirits when'he’d mel
ancholy or dejected. t He is npijii’ some
what aged, but he has seen the day
he was the youngest specimen of anima
ted nature .in the world. Pass on, ihy
little deaf, and allow the ladies to survey
tho wonders of creation as displayed id tho
ring-tailpd monkey, a haniiual thatqau
stand hanging like a follow ; criite?,-only
it’s reversed." ' ' ; .
Repoiixqrial FiATi-y-At Toledo) Ohio,
on, the Fourth, an Irish reporter, specially
engaged to report the oration,, took down
the I >eclaration' of independence, as it wag
read instead. Wheathefeading commcm
ced the reporter began likewise to ply b»s
pencil vigorously under the impressed
that it was the ‘greatest, oration, byjirigo>
that he had ever heard,’ becainecsc'eed
ingly anxious to |ep<wt it fully; Sweat
poured from his brow jlikc rain j ‘the seu ; -
tehoes were very long, be jaberd, if it was
a-good Oration, ho thought, but still the
pencil jumped, and more; rapidly the brow
shed its ram on Urn *qnll tracks” on tbO
papefi When, he Wrote it off. from the
notes, it was so highly embellished that
the editor scarcely rccoghized it, till'ho
came to the ‘names of the signers/ renqii
ted as, the ‘committee of arrangmentar r
‘Tom/ said an impudent yrag to a Con
ceited fop, *1 know/a beautiful girl who
wishes to Jnake your acquaiqtancd/ : ;
‘Devilishglad to hear it—delightftUahcl
beautiful appearance# I suppose oh '
fTes, very much sm She thinks ypijp*
make a capital playmate for her
little 'odlodogl* v
DOV 6• .
Exit fop,shockingly sold.
B@-4fop of a fellow who.wassaunter*
ing about a country village, saifrp pretty
face at the wiiidow of a house near whie®,
a little hoy was at play. ‘Bub/ said he*
is that Mr lady looking pntfW<Sm,f
was the laconic reply. • «W3l you
; if she is a maid or a .-matron; V Mke44fe
exquisite: ‘She’s a iailoress/
• thefed resuming his play. s \ .
’-S a
■M
.'4*s*:
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NO: 31;
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