r'iscasoß, n\iefo a|t <*r Oonorthm^^S^- t£c7 ” tJjc awful ■leatnictloß 305. end t he (leceptlona us of suclr disoasra Lv ir Consulting Surgeon i yan T+.flfi '(jVi'Sl-^Thd ■ i (’•* iihtyl o !>i nil rcepccta. The fi.t- Sum are soaxraiig .U;e perfectly and ut2- f this Stove.must sat ja i v ersftl lavoriU. ' .L, ■f f 'xxl capacity—tW and lift L thurmufe i.ly lje‘recomm«fws t - - . •■■■•. constantly<;«l i.pu n. BCsifc.' • ■o« Uohtf. AtbooiuL tie- truth.pf lUUsiiy. ally kdmmncei'WO» that he hns enUnd 1 i luoj Gallagher, Inr lie lias just received .v TESTINGS/ y.hich he willniakets •a Rich cahnotEsutc IEST SXVUEB,' l: IIF LANKY, MUf darmingcompUiita, -i i i udu of youtK wV • ii in tlilijmku i itirely.newnndbalh i*i- the Author,.fuUy ■ • •;. e . «■ York City.' ■ '*j , FAfiS .:l;ant Taftpy. lats of ■• dtitetjj tit iIWAa iuildltltt .tJtf%doO|B . ne door Southof Sta ll. X t-iw ri.-cdvlg^iti* \:\i goods, ; i Pistrtand W#r ' i i h i Fat in V.elvpWwt* Vesting*. In wwrtii .:i of,which ‘,6b wj|l • a the most rcaeona* Up tliinksfwill.qis ■!. in w|th their wm: ) 1 XTY.—^PH2S a New Map of ■ -T', contain! infill ’■ *sct Villages, a giving iUdUM«» :i;,ravtd ou thßßar; iM hcxji'sa’iw,to,l*Ms ti. will -he colored •!» ■ ■Ti.l t i tnbecribeW-!® - \MCJih OBllUi ■- AAro.jrnieiaV' I’K ACTION 1 i'fllllC i' m a I’.rxire ■;u.dUy, be hopf*sU ’i'M!"ge. , : i on i noualdß WnWi iy attended to.-:' iii|>oli!uled.'' h ( iAZEl'lrii.—, .. .uni CrimiuaUi* 1® ip iilated throughout t tvat TrlpK Cri*W£ iie ►■xiilivtogether. wW* . t tohefouna lii W ' ') for six i nlil write thelflt***** ■. tiwy reside plainlyv 11 .ToELL4t»4 ' fi k Police Ga»tU»-. f i Aue Yuri: dty-. ack & O&i cl Altoona* XCIPAL Ci,U£B> •! •• O'llrctians.jnadfl't* i • .A.a-iJl;iud, withotAlp' C i'-iir rate*.' 4 V. irOLLIDAI’f- I. PA., ' ’ ’ m i i: lair. UunUglP^ . ■n;itt.v to ftU COWS' i- i.rfMiit; ■ «* “fwjr .jrJUW* i'NEE, ejntist, site the Luth®*** 1 ro«. _>( ■ M, '•jd.'Dd .ntv, im. >ta ... - McCUUM & BEEN, \oh. 3. SeTALtOONA TRIBUNE. SIcCKOM & DERX, ( PnMI«hf» «nd.Prohor p»U for. fZBM Of AKTMTIEUfO. _ ,l 1 insertion 2 do. 8 dp. « 85 $ Sl}i $ <0 Four' lines orlofW- , * w * 75 100 *Une*» ( 1 00 ,1 60 2 00 T*’" « “1 1» 2 01) .2 60 T threeWsapd Ims than three months, 2. tea taper iquare for each Insertion. 3month3 6 months. Iw4«v $1 60 $ 3 00 ( $ 6 00 * 2 50 4 00 7 00 4 00 6 00 10 DO Six linos or less, Ono siinaro, Two “ Three “ c 00, 10 00 WPO l our “ lo 00 14 00 20 00 Half a column, no 25 00 40 00 One column, , _ . _ 175 Nc”hantS“^B X S the. year, three *nmres, n® l 8 - f| 0o Mesired. w ill he continued till forbid and charged according nolSvo cents per line for every insertion. Obituary notices exceeding ten lines, fifty Cents a square. tribune directory. CHURCHES, MINISTERS, &.C. Prfthulcrian. Rev. A R. CiUr.K, Pastor.—Preaching ev- T J Sabbath morningat 10>.j o’clock, and in the evening at s.Vel jt-.S Sail hath School at, l» o clock, A. M, in Urn Lee- Tare Kooin. Prayer Meeting every Wednesday evening In U.':l Kiuicojtal. Rev. S_ A.WiUOS,Pastor.—Prcach i.A .• Vl iy Sabbath morning at lu)»j o'clock and in the cven ll, - T*itM Vrtlhnu. Rev. D, Stalk, Pastor.—Preaching ev ery 'aMeiGi morning at 10% o’clock and Inf the evening at il i/deelt. Sabbath School in the Lecture Room at 0 i.Vliak. A. M. Pray er Meeting every Wednesday evening in j*Aiuc c< >Olll. • Protestant Episcopal, Rev.R. W. Ouveh, Pastor.—Divine Sefiioi 2d and 4th Sundays of each month lit 10J4 o'clock A. M-. and i'/, P. M. Snnday School at 0 o’clock A. 31. r.iUiulic, Kev. Jons Xwioos, Pastor.—Preaching at 10% o'l lerk in the morning; and at 15% in the afternoon-. liipli.,l, (no Pastor.)—Sabbath School at 0 o'clock, A. M. African MrViodist. Rev. Sntjier C.vli, Pastor,—Preaching every Sabbath morning at 11 o'clock and in theeveuing, in the old Union School House, ALTOONA MAIL SCHE.DUUEv MAILS, CLOSE. Bwrrn Way oa •« Fj-t “ /Eii'-'t “ C. 25 P. M. “ fI,4S I*. M. “ “ 10,00 “ “ 10,05 “ j; „l “ 11.30 A. M., ‘f 11,50-A. .M. ‘ « Went “ 0.45 l>. M., ‘ 7,10} P. M. The m)LIiI!)IVySBURC. BUAXCU connect* with Express Train Wort, Mail Train East ami West uiyl dith Fait Line li.t-1. ' ; ,! . • > Tin- lILATUSVXLLE IyiAXCH connects w(th Joliftstown Wav Train East anil West, Express Train West and Mail *Tr.mi Kadt. Pee. 21, ’5O-tf 1 IMS. A. SCOTT, Suji't. MEETINGS OF ASSOCIATIONS. Mountain iMhjr, A. Y. IL, No. 2nl, DieetsonaßCpiulTucu- Oty of inch month. In the third story of the Masonic Tem pi". nt TJ*j o'clock, P. M. I;-".-. Itinn-rnHml JCi’campmenf,’ A. Y. M., No 10, meets on the liar. 1 . Tu .i tiy of each month. In the third story of the Ma sonic Temple, at 7J4 o’clocfc,Pl M; . .if.Vma leuhjt, I.tJ.of 0. F..NO. 473, meets every Friday evening. in thl- second story of the Masonic Temple, nt 7j£i ■ 'dock. ‘ tv. :«./1 Wy, r. 0. of 0. VvXo-532, meets every Friday eT.-nlnyr, iii tie- third story Of Patton's Building, on Virginia « tr- rl.-at 7Vi u'vliK-k, IV M. inniubn—James Funk.: SojKiintendcut of Common Schools —John Dean. ALTOONA BOROUGH * Justices of the Peace —Jacob Good, J. M. Cherry. , Jluryns—E. M. Jones. i Jhien OjuikH —JariiesXowther, K. U. McCormick, Johns Aliisin, J>eter Reed, Nelson Glandlng. President of Owned—Jl. H. McCormick. Ckrkjto i Ihrmsnh TrMifirerJ-Spmto Lowthor, it , v tkhoU Dirtciors—Oeprx. W. Patton, C. B. Sink, C. C. Miuorn Geo. iv. SparkSTdCscph Wm. C. McCormlek. Treasurer of Mori JfdarO—Wm. C. McCormick.. , High Ely. Ttu OJfcctor^-^ohhMeClonaiw. Ai'ditors—G. D.Thomas, Thos. SroMlnn. ; < f J'ojior—John McClelland. - V ’■< ' . Judy, of JZ/ectronl—East VTArd—John B. TTorfijl. *• ’ M Afest “ 'Jacob Good. “ “ North u Alexander BUing. Inspection—Kast WardyUS. A. Beck, Alex. Montgomery. “ West « ',5. H. Eohcrts, M.Cfculmagb. “ North '«• ' Vm. Valentine;lm.,Becd. f .. pIGH, DATisV PRUNES, X and Currants Inirtore aad for jalo by V !. ; ’ ■ AVMj Ni BHUOABD, March 25, >5B ly] Uj Northed stfeeC^Wiflaell>hla.; A LMDJftfS, WALNUTS, CKEAhI XJL ln'dore and for mIo toy „ v 'l j- , WM. W. SHHOAJU). MaircVi 26, * Wty] 101 *ti^t,^hUMt(ilp%ia. EUPE WJIITE- DEAD AND ZINC •Jf 0 CUromo. Otecn, YcUow, Pari* Creep; dry orgrfondtpoUnt ; . KKpsr.Ktt’p. A ‘ STANDARD PATENT x\. JmWQJSVS AI [l-tf. KKSSMSR’S. f 'OyEfiJN# AND NfiW ORDEANS XJ Syrapjtf^l«^‘%t t ; I- '-pi l June 18, ’OT-JyJ . ■ JIKNEY lißfftyp n ROGER®.—A LARGE AND \A Wnp&fai uMrtmiue if cei«4*tCw(rtowof •; ■ XB. JULEMAS. A BpOMmAirWPORTBRS, Tru-H andShouTder-Braces fer Bftje it ‘ XXX'hjAM.; . \K*BSWEa% MNKS OF ALL DESCRIPTIONS ’ neatly oad erpcdktoody ex&aid it tbiaoftc*. y rj.LASS Bxlo TO 20x24, AND GUT V/ toordsrty : W< KESSLER. j r i . , 8 00 12 00 5 00 11 00 A.M. S» A.M. O U> P. M 8 00 - “ 800 “ JOHN SHOEMAKER, P. M, ■X**. .Sided' fctrg. A MOTHER’S GIFT. . Rifles Written by a mother, in a Bible—her gift to bor ton. ; Remember, love, whogaro thee this, When other days shall come— When she whohadthy earliest kiss. Sleeps in her narrow home. Remember, ’tsuis a motber gave ■Tho giil.to ono she’d die to save. r • That mother sought a.pledge of lovo, - * The holiest for her son; And from the gift of Godnboro She chose a goodly ono; She chose for her beloved boy , The; Bonrco of life, and light, and joy . • 1 ■. ' And bode him keep the gift—that when The parting honr should come, . , Th<)y might hare hope to meet again, In her eternal home. She said his faith in tiiat vouid ho Street incense to her memory. ’ And should tlic scoffer in his pride, Laugh that fond gift to scorn, And bid him. cost that pledge, aside, That he from youth had borne! She bide him pause and ask his breast. If he, or she, had loved him best ? A parent’s blessing on-hor son , Goes with this holy tiring; The love that would retain the o-_e, i Must to the other cling. Remember, 'tis no idle toy; A mother's gift—aEjtEJtnEß, nor! ' Effect Agamemnon’s Trip—Thrilling Sarrativc. The London Times, just received per ‘ Ariel/ contains a most intensely interes ting account of the Agamemnon’s voyage, from the time she parted from the Niagara until,she reached Yalentia Bay. Wo ex tracts few passages of exceeding interest: ,A Whale, and Cause ok former FAiEtTRE.-— After having left the Niagara a few hours, ami shortly after 6 o’clock, a very large whale was seen approaching the star-board bow at a great speed, rolling and tossing the sea into foam all round, and for the first time we felt the possibili ty of the supposition that our second mys terious breakage; of the cable might have been caused after all by one of these ani mals getting foul of it under water. It appeared as if it were making direct for the cable, and great .was the relief of all when the ponderous' living mass was seen slowly to pass astern, just grazing the ca ble where-it entered the water; but fortu nately without doing any mischief. Panic Abo ard,— The vueit day to the consternation of aU,ithc electrical tests ap plied showed,the fault to be overboard, and, in all probability some 50 miles from the ship. Npt a second 'was to be lost, for it was evident that the cut portion must be paid overboard in a fpw minutes, arid in the meantime the tedious and difficult op eration of making a splice had to be per formed. The ship was immediately stop ped) and no more cable paid out than was absolutely necessary ito prevent breaking. As the stern of the. ship was lifted by the waves a scene of the most intense excite ment followed. It seemed impossible even by using the greatest possible speed, and paying out the least possible, amount of cable, that the junction could be finished before the part was taken but of the hands of the workmen. Extraordinary Scene. —The main bold presented an extraordinary scene; nearly all the officers of the ship and those connected with the expedition stood in 1 groupes about the coil, watching with in tense anxiety the pable, "as it slowly un wound itself Dearer the joint, while the workmen, directed by Mr. Canning, under whose superintendence the cable was ori .ginally manufactured, worked at the splice as only men could work who felt that the life and death of the expedition depended upon their rapidity. But all their speed was to no purpose, as the cable was unwinding within a hun ,dred fathoms, .and ,as a last and desperate resource, the cable-was stopped altogether, and for a few minutes the ship hung on by ; tho end. Fortunately, however, it was 'oidy for a few minutes, as the strfiin wns continually rising above two tons, ahd'it would not hold on much longer; when the splice was finished, the signal was made to loose the stopper, and it passed Overboard safely enough, ? i J ,• When the excitement conscqUentupon having so. narrowly saved the,cable had passed aftavy we awoke to the conscious ness that the case was : still as hopeless as ever, for the electrical continuity was still entirely wanting. Preparations were con sequently made to pay put os little rope possible, and to hold on for six 'hours, in the hopes that the faultj whatever it might be, might mend itself before cutting the cable and returning to the rendezvous to make another splice. The magnetic ned : dies on the receiving instruments were watched closely for the returning signals) when in a few minutes the last; hope Was extinguished by theirsuddenlyindicating dead earth, which tended to showthat tlie cable had bcen. : broken- from the Niagara, or that the had:beeu completely destroyed; ALTOONA, PA., THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 9, 1858. All Well Again.—ln three minutes, however, every onewf 8 agreeably surprised by the intelligence that the stoppage had disappeared, and that their signals had agaifi.appeared at 'their.regular intervals: from*the Niagara. It is Ueedkss to say , What a load of anxiety this news removed from the minds of every one, but the gen eral in the ultimate success of the operations 'was much shaken by the occurrence, for all felt that every minute a similar pcccident might occur. For some time the paying out continued as usual, but towards the-morning another damaged place was discovered in the cable; there Was fortunately, however, time to repair it in the hold without in any way interfering with the operators beyond r for a time ,Iy.reducing the speed, of the skip. First Sail.-—Stupidity. —During the afternoon of Monday, after half the voy age had been accomplished, an American three-masted schooner, which afterwards proved to be the Ohieftan, was seen stan ding from the Eastward towards us. No notice was taken of her at first, but when she was within about half a mile of the Agamemnon she altered her course, and bore right down across pur bows. A col lision, which might prove fatal to the ca ble, now seemed inevitable, or could only be ayoided by the equally hazardous expe dient of altering the Agamemnon’s course. The Valorous Steamed ahead, and fired a gun for her to heave to, which, as she did not appear to take much notice of, was quickly followed by another from the bows of the Agamemnon, and and third from the Valorous; but still the vessel held oil her course, and as the only resource left to avoid a collision, the, course of the Agamemnon was altered just iu time to pass within a few yards of her. It was evident that our proceedings were the source of the • greatest possible astonish ment to them, for all her crew crowded upon her deck and rigging. At length they evidently discovered who we were, and what we were doing, for the crew man ned the rigging, and dipping the ensign several times, 4hey gave us three hearty cheers. Though the Agamemnon was obliged to acknowledge these -congratula tions in due form, the feeling ox annoy ance with which we regarded the vessel which, either by the stupidity or careless ness of thpsc on board, was so near adding a fatal arid unexpected mishap to the long chapter of accidents which had already been encountered, may easily be imagin , cd. Effect op the (In,vs. —To those be low, who, of course, did not see the ship approaching, the sound of the first gun came like a thunder bolt, for all took it as the signal of the breaking of the cable. — The dinner tables : were deserted in a mo ment, and a general rush was made for the hatches and up on deck, but before reach ing it their fears were quickly banished by the report of the succeeding, gun, which all knew well could only be caused by a ship in our way or a man overboard. Axotiieu Ameuican Vessel.—The weather during Monday night moderated a little, but still there was a very heavy sea on, which endangered the wire every minute. About 3 o'clock on Tuesday mor ning all on board wept startled by the loud booming of a ; gun. Every one without waitpg for .the performance of the most particular toilet,; rushed on deck to ascer tain the cause of the disturbance. (Con trary to all expectation the cable was-safe, but just in the grey light could be?seen the Valorous rounded to in the most war like attitude, firing gun after gun in quick succession towards a large American bark, which, quite unconscious of our proceed ing, was standing right across our stern. Such loud and repeated remonstrances from a large steam frigate were not to lie despised, and evidently without knowing why of the wherefore, she quieWy; threw her sails aback -and remained hove- to.- — Whether those ion board her considered that we were engaged in some Filibuster ing expedition, or regarded our proceed ings as another British outrage Upon the American flag, it is impossible to says but certain it is that, apparently in great trep idation, she lemained hove to until we had lost sight of hef in the distance. Band AijeAl).— By daylight on the morning of Thursday the bold and rocky mountains which entirely surround the wild and pictfiresque neighborhood of Val entia rose right 'before jts at a few miles’ tfistanee. Never, probably,'was the sight of lahd more welcome, as it brought to a successful terinmation one of the greatest, hut, at the same tube, most difficult schemes which was ever’nnderfttken. Had it been the dullest and; 'most melancholy swamp on the face-of the earth that lay before us, we should have-: 'found it a pleasant pros pect j but, as the suh rose from the estu ary of Dingle; Bay, ringing with a deep soft purple the folly summits of the steep mountains which surround its shores, and illuminating the masses of morning vapor which hung upon them, it’ was a scene which might vie in beauty .with anything that could be produced by the most florid imagination of ah artist. No one on shore was apparently conscious of our Approach, Spthc Valorous steamed ahead to Oic mouUr of the haibor and fired a gun. Both ships jpade straight' for Dowla? Bay ; and about 1 . ; ' [INDEPENDENT IN EVERYTHING.] six o’clock came to anchor at the side of Beginish Island, opposite to Valencia. Landing the Shore End. —Imme- diately after the ships east anchor, the •paddlebox boats of the Valorous were got ready, and two miles of Cable coiled away in them, fop the purpose of landing the end; but it was late' in the afternoon be fore the procession of boats left the ship, under a salute of three rounds of small arms from the detachment of Marines on board the Agamemnon, under the com mand of Lieutenant Morris. The progress of the end to the shote was very slow, iu consequence of the very stiff wind which blew at the time, but at about three o’clock the end was safely brought on shore at Knightstown, Valentia, by Mr. Bright and Mr. Canning, the chief and second engi neers) to whose exertions the successT of the undertaking is attributable, and the Knight of Kerry. First Message Through. —The end was immediately laid in the trench which had been dug to receive it, while a lloyal salute, making the neighboring rocks and mountains reverberate, announced that the communication between the Old and New World had been completed. The end was immediately taken into the electrical room by Mr. Whitebouse, and attached to a gal vanotneter, and the first message was re ceived through the entire length. A Thundering Ale. Davidson College, North Carolina, con tributes a very good story of a man with a very bad habit. As it is all about lying, the reader may believe it or not, as he likes. In the old North State lives a certain John Long, who draws a long bow whenever he has anything to tell, and his character for- truth and veracity, has been below zero for many years. Captain Johpson had been so taken in by one of John’s outra geous stories, that he said to him, in a pet 3 ‘lf you make me believe one of your lies again in a month, I’ll give you fifty dollars!’ John pretended to be hurt by the offer, and went off. A few days after he was riding by tho captain’s post-haste, on horseback, when the captain called out to him: ‘ I say ! hello, Johnny ! stop and tell us a lie or two this morning!’ John rode on, but cried out most dole fully : ‘No time for lying now : brother Jimmy has just been killed in the machine, and I’m going for the old folks.” On he went. s Captain Johson ordered his horse, and rode over to see the dead man, and offer his services, but found him alive and well, giuing cotton, and in no danger of the machine. Just then John rode up and demanded the fifty dollars. The captain declaired it was a rascally trick, but'he would have had to pay the money if Johu had not let him off. John Smith. —John Smith is a sort of omnipresence. A learned scholar contends for the universality of John Smith’s name, not only in our, own, but among all lauds. Commencing with the Hebrews, he says they bad no Christian names, and conse quently Johns—in Hebrew the name was simply Shcmt or Shemit. In other na tions, however, the,. John Smith is found full, one and undivided. Let us trace it. Latin-—Johannes Smithini. Italian—Giovanni Smithi. Spanish —Juan Smithas. Hutch —Hans Schmidt. French —Jean Smeets. Greek —lon Skmitton. Russian —lonloff Schmittowski. Polish —Ivan Schmittiweiski. I Chinese—Tohn Tchnunit. r Icelandic —Tahne Smittson. Welch —Jiohn Schmidd. Tuscarora —Ton-ta Smittia. Mexican—Jontli F’Smitix. To prove the antiquity of the name, the same savan observes, that in the temple of Osiris, Egypt, Was found the name of “Pharaoh Smithonis, being the 9th in 1 the 18th dynasty of the Thebian kings. He was the founder of the celebrated temple of Smithopolis Magna.” Forgetting Misfortune. —Tim Mc- Gowan, a gallant fellow, lost his life in the Mexican war.’ He had lost an arm when a boy, by having the limb crushed under the wheel of a jaunting car,; in the ‘ould country.’ His surviving brother, Dennis, never ceases boasting of Tim’s exploits. — In a Moyamensing bar-room, the other evening, Dennis. began on the old theme of the Mexican wqi> dwelling with partic ular emphasis bn the heroic deeds of his deceased relative. “Och, xnurther, but ye ought to have seen Tint at Ryo-sack-ardoUar-polc-mo, (meaning Resaca do la Palma.) He caught two Mexican black-guards by the cufls of the necks, and kilt them both as dead as herrins hy khqcking their heads togeth- “Jlow could that be,* said a listener, “when your Brother had but one arm ?” ! “Bliss yer sowl, 7 *’ Douiiik, “one arm had he? ’Pwtfc true enough for ye ; but then, ye see, Tim forgot all about that whin he got into a fight." A Bat in tbe Can. A. dny or two since, says the Hertford Times, just after the express train left Stamford, where it' had been delated a few minutes, to wood and Water, a r£t rati, from one corner of the amidst the ■ feet of the passengers; As soon as it was known that there was a rat on the floor of the car, considerable excitement took place amongst the ladies, and crinoline took a sudden rise. The passengers struck at the rat as he dodged from one side ;0f the oar to the other, with their umbrellas and Canes, but without any effect-—the old rat successfully avoided all their kicks and, thrusts, and disappeared undeif the Seat of a fat woman, who sat at one end :of the car, half asleep. A committee of one, self appointed, hacked up by half adozen full grown boys, suggested to tho fat lady the propriety ofSrrsing, to enable them to find the rat. Now, it is no easy matter for a two hun dred and fifty pounder, encumbered bya huge mass of crinoline, to rise at a mo ment’s notice; therefore, she declined.— She was duly informed of the state of af fairs, and of the critical position she occu pied in the eyes of the public at thkt mo ment. Again, she was requested to rise, but she positively refused—like pertain distinguished politicians, she scented de termined to maintain her position, till a broader and more comprehensive platform was available. Various suggestion’s as to the rat’s whereabouts wore made by ‘the boys,’ in audible whispers, 1 which made the fat woman “ Blush like a full-grown rose. 1 ' and to get her eyes open. Many of the gassengers seemed to have an ideahf their own, which was quite amusing—-lijps were compressed —cheeks expanded -r-;teeth, worth from twenty-five dollars to untold fortunes, were exhibited— “ There was a silence deep as death, And the boldest held his breath For a time.” ‘ But that time was decidedly sliortj, for at this point, the lady in question gave a roll, which made the car fairly groan, one or two spasmodic kicks, and the two hun dred and fifty pounds shot out of her seat like a skyrocket, upsetting babies and bandboxes, crushing crinoline and beav ers, landing about six feet from her seat, upon a little old man, whom she nearly smothered, besides knocking off his wig and otherwise disarranging his toilatr—upon which he remarked to himself ihat she bad better ‘simmer down’ and join the circus. After vigorously shaking her dress, amidst the laughter of the passen gers, she regained her seat, hnd the huge mass of crinoline commenced to, settle to 'its proper place, and quiet was Restored, whpn one of ‘ the boys/ whose mirthful ness must be somewhat largely; developed, burst out into a ‘horse laugh.’l The ef fect was like a spark in a magazine j the whole car exploded, and the fat womdn joined in and laughed as hearty as the merriest. Her jolly old aides' shook up and down and the car springs vibrated, keeping exact time. But what became of the rat is a question. Bgk, The Knickerbocker thus touches the kind of beings that spoil very respec table women, in idle efforts to be; very or dinary men : ‘ There were spine ‘ strong minded women’ speakers at a recent Hew England reform convention; one; especial ly, being a perfect brickess. -She was very plain spoken; and she ‘aired her mind’ fully—what there was of, it. She manifested no little contempt for the male gender; and not a little reminded us of a scene which was once witnessed in the old Park Theatre. The play for the evening was that lugubrious pocket-handkerchief aicce, ‘The Stranger.’ Directly before us sat an elderly married couple. The gentleman, a narrow-shoulderedrhigh-ear :d, long-nosed specimen, ‘ most meek of lis visage;’ the daihe, a very plump lady, with head erect, cheeks glowing,' and eyes wandering, beneath an exalted tdrhan, ant above a ponderous ‘ bust/ which almost threatened escape&ent. ’ The /man was much moved at the distresses of Mr. ant Mrs- Haller. Tears trickled down his long nose and white pinched nostrils; ant ever and anon he would jog Madame, that she might assist his melaneholly enjoy ment of the scene with her owh sad sym pathy. But not so; shp told him several times to ‘Hush!’ and/atlengthrcSpon? ded to an appreciate ( punch’ froin the 'eL bow of her leaser half; 4 80 stop 1 /fFd a khoWn you was goiu’ to act I wouldn’t Ha’ fetched you !’ He smoth ered his reflected sorrow; and f dried up’ instanter.’ \ ] - At a Virginia the chorister being absent, the elder presiding) whose name was Jeeter, calleds upon one ofthe deacons and said, - after reading a hymn, . Jr® , v 4 The deacon lifted np iw yoipo, but m Bjtead oiTnnging'a once, he / tfy. « Brother Jeeter, ' ■ . • This bring satisfactorily answered* Do* con Moon pitched the tune.- { ■ EDITORS AND PROPRIETORS. A TMde A Fortune. If parents would consider the welfare and h&ppincSS bf thcir children they would choose the virtuous mechanic, farmer qt Honest trader) as i companions andndljK mates instead of the rich, who, aside from their income, have hd moans Of subsxS- . - 1 --i.. ■ i, How often does this question- arise and from religious parents, too, in choosing companions and editors for, thSifr daugh ters : • : ‘ls he rich r: . . . If the daughter answers,.* Yo?, ho is rich, he is a gentleman, neat instils dress, and can live without frotk/ theparenta are pleased; ~ / • .. 'v ; ' Not many yeafs ago a Polish |ady>jpf plebian birth, but exceeding bcAuty and accomplishments, won the affiectiq&f of > young nobicinan, who, having he| con sent, solicited her from her father in mar riage, and was refu&cd. Wo may . easily imagine the surprise, of the ntlbleman. : ‘Am I. not/ said he, ‘of sufficient rank to aspire to your daughter’s hand .•’ ‘ You are undoubtedly of the best blood of Poland.’ ' ‘And my fortune and reptCtatloft are . they >» , < ; , ‘ Your estate; is magnificent, and your conduct irreproachable/ ( / *Then having your daughter’s cohseht how should I expect a refusal ?’ , j , ‘This, sir,’ the .father ropHed, ‘is my only cluld,and her happiness is the chief concern of my life. All possessions of for tune arb precarious: what fortune gives at her caprice she takes away. I see no security for the independence and com fortable living for 'a wife but one j in a woxd,' I am resolved that no! brie shall ho the husband of my daughter, who is hot at the same time piaster of a-trade!’ The nobleman bowed and retired silent ly. A year or two after, the father was, sitting at the dcor and saw approaching the house wagons laden with .boskets, and at the head of the cavalcade a person in the dress of a basket maker. And whd do you suppose it was ? The former edit or of his daughter: the nobleman had turned basket maker. He was. master of a trade, and brought the wares triade by his own hands for inspection, with a'cer tificatc from his employer in testutfohy of his skill. .. . ' ’ The conditions being fulfilled, ho' fur ther obstacle was opposed to th‘e marriage. But the story is not yet done.' Tho Rev-* 'olution eamc; fortunes wore plundered and Jords were scattered as ohaff before the four, winds of heaven. Kipgs became beggars, some of them tcaohcfs.: and the nob|e Polo supported his WxfS ah(| her* father in tlio infirmities of age by hisbas ket making industry. BSSU ‘Mr. Showman, what is that?’ : ;l ‘That, my dear, is the rhynocery. Ho is cousin Germed, or Dutch relation (9 the unicorn. ' He was bom in desert of Saiy, Ann, and fed on bamboo.and missionaries* He isumry courageous, and never leaven home unless he moves, in which case hip goes somewhere else, unless he is oyena keU by the dark. He waabroughtto country much against his ' will, WludljMßO counts for his low spirits when'he’d mel ancholy or dejected. t He is npijii’ some what aged, but he has seen the day he was the youngest specimen of anima ted nature .in the world. Pass on, ihy little deaf, and allow the ladies to survey tho wonders of creation as displayed id tho ring-tailpd monkey, a haniiual thatqau stand hanging like a follow ; criite?,-only it’s reversed." ' ' ; . Repoiixqrial FiATi-y-At Toledo) Ohio, on, the Fourth, an Irish reporter, specially engaged to report the oration,, took down the I >eclaration' of independence, as it wag read instead. Wheathefeading commcm ced the reporter began likewise to ply b»s pencil vigorously under the impressed that it was the ‘greatest, oration, byjirigo> that he had ever heard,’ becainecsc'eed ingly anxious to |ep• ♦ NO: 31; I- «•' a?-