.THE DAILY EVENING TELEGRAPU. HIILADELPIIIA, TIIUI&IMX JULY .26, : 18G6. SOUND AND SKNSK. Jtrvm IA Iev York Galaxy. i , A recent work quote the atateraeit of M. Al fcort, a French medical wntrr, to the effect thai the Uneunflrps of dilTerent uaiions are sometimes nly Imitations of the crteg ot uie aniruan 01 tne onntry. "My lllustrioiiB friend, Beriiardin de Irtaint rierre," ays M. AHbori, "nas himself vtade this observation, lie rernarka, for e ample, that the lanfruaee ol the English recm W& the whistling ot the titrdB which inhabit the nhoresof their island: he adds that tne Dutch Imitate the croaking of the frofri with which their marshes abound; that the Hottentot clucks like the ostrich, and that the Patasroman re produce the melancholy roaring of the wra." It mnst have occurred to acate observers that the various gultcral tones which may lae distinguished in any pnlhvtitastlo and voluble assemblage of Teutons, when divesW ot any ense that mlebt be conveyed by them to accus tomed ears, bear surprising renomblance to the concerts of frops which we hear in country roads; and that their sinning, though sonorous and erand, has a kind of association to the ear with that "frog song," eontaining so many jugged and explosive consonant sounds, which -ated to be rendered with much applause at the mlr.slrel balls. , Occasionally of an evening, in former days, I "have heard a very bnlky frog ripping out what veemcd to be those very "sevcnteon-corncrcd old Iligh-Oennan oaths" which were spoken of in a late numDer of Iht. Galaxy. This does not at all prove the theory above enunciated; but, whether that theory be correct or not, the com parison of the English tontrue to the notes of birds Is a testimony to its euphony. The Arabs, it is said, universally refer to Europeans a peaking the language ot birds. Our spoken language is an eminently mechanical affair, its ariations depending strictly on the varia tions of the organs of speech; and it Is a quaint and not impossible supposition that these organs in different lands, acted on y the peculiar Influences of climate, food, training, etc., might assume that organization which "should maae their toucs harmonize with the prevalent voices of nature. Why, for in stance, might not the organs of a human race, as well as' the aperture of a sea shell, be so charged with insensible influences, as, after the lapse ol time, to reproduce spontaneously the roar and moan of the ocean? Many of the sounds of our letters can be pro duced by artificial means. An article in an English periodical, reporting Mr. Alexander Melville lietl's system of Visible Speech, or Universal Laneuagej mentions how, many years ago, Von Kempelen obtained the vowel sounds by adapting a reed to the bottom of a funnel shaped cavity, and placing his hand in various positions within tho funnel; also imperfect imitations ol I, m, and p by a hollow, oval bos, ia two portions, representing jaws; and, by con structing an artificial mouth of a bell-shaped fiiece of caoutchouc, nostrils of two tin tubes, and ungs in the form ot a rectangular wind-i-hest, produced, with more or less completeness, tue lamiliar sounds of n, d, a, k, s,j, v, t, and e. By combining these he produced the words opera, astronomy, etc., and the sentences, "Vous etes mon ami," "Je vous aiuie de tout mon cueur." Professor WilMs states that the vowel sounds can be produced by throwing a current of air upon a raed in a pipe, and bhortening or lengthening the pipes lor the different vowels. We are told that the earliestlmet nod of writlngwas by pictures for visible objects, and sngseftive characters for abstract ideas as a circle for eternity. Mr. Bell, without going as lar back as this, proposes to "write by sound, and to make the letters of his alphabet e press the position of the vocal organs while uttering them. "Mr. Bell," it is said, "finds thirty symbols sufficient to denote all the two hundred varieties of vowel and consonant sounds. Bach eymbol has a name which does not include the sound of the lettor,. but merely describes its form The learner has thus at hrst only to recognize pictures. But the name ot the sym bol also expresses the arrangement of the mouth which produces the sound, so that when the symbol is named the organic formation of its sound is named at the same time. In order that thirty symbols may deuote two hundred sounds, Mr. Bell bits adopted certain mode of classification. All vowels recolve a common .generic simbol; all consonants another; vo eality and whimper have their respective sym bols; so have inspiration, retention, and expul- Bion or Dream; so nave vue loucmug nuu mc variation of the several vocal organs; so have the lips, the palate, the pharynx, the glottis and the different parts ot the tongue; so has the breathinpjof sounds through the nostrils or through nearly closed teeth. There are thirty of these gecerie meanings altogether, and they are combined to make np letters, every part of every letter having a meamne." In a test of this alphabet, Mr. Bell's son "uttered a great varietv of sounds w hispered consonants, vocul consonants, vowels, diphthongs, nasal voweis, interjections, inarticulate sounds, animalsounds, mechanical sounds all of which are susceptible of being represented in printed or written sym bols. Then, the son being out of the room, aovornl oontlnmon rami" Inrwnrd and reDpated short sentences to Mr. Bell, some in Arabic, some in Persian, some in Bengali, some in negro i.atrtia unmA rt Hnnlip nnmi in T.nu'lnnrl Kpobfih. , some in Nortolk dialect; Mr. Bell wrote down the sounds as he heard them. The son was then called in, and, looking attentively at the writing, repeated the senteuces wifh an accuracy of sound and intonation whicn seemed to strike those who were best able to iudee as being very remarkable." lr. Bell states that, oesme tne mrmoers of hi3 own family, only three persons have heen made acquainted with the symbols; but he is willing to surrender his private riehts tor the good of the public, on condition that the cost of introducing the system may be undertaken at yublic expense. We believe we violate no confidence ii statin that a system of language has recently been discovered, aud is now being developeJ, nut very far from this city, which claims to be founded on spontaneities, intuitions, and rela tions a good deal wider and deeper than the liandlul of gristle and meat that constitute the - -vocal orirans. This new lauerunee. we believe, is to include, by its own organic logic, astonishing f.dnfthitities for calculations of various sorts. It also aDDlies to each thing a name which arises bv inuate sell-iuterDetrution (so to speak) out of the essence ot the thing. Two successive names have already arisen in this manner for this lantruaze. out of the essence of it. The first was Tickiewa, accent on the first sellable. The second, or improved name, which is that now used, is more rotund; something . liked "(Xlonfswa." A thoroughly practical system of this soit . woulo De lnoutteiv convenient u u cuuiu oe hroueht into central use. Novelists and dt-scrip tive writers who study sound aud dialect to give distinctiveness aud reality to their characters. find our alphabets inadequate to convey the laaicrous varieties of pronunciation which we hear in every-day li'e. All the dots, and dashes, and figares of the orthnepists. aud the system ol respelling used in most ol the dictionaries are unable to effect this. But how much point and lite might'b- infuteu into descriptive writing if "w could express whispers, inspiration, reten tion or expulsion of the breath, vocal con. sonants, iasal vo-vels, irjteneotions, animal and mechanical sounds, at it is said may be doue Dy tim new system ! - How eieat the effort is to make the sound of -words correspond with the idea expressed, ia .syen in an troocl writers, wueo aiuum aesirei to oicture vhe dire conflict between the antrelb he makes his senteuces rumble over harsh ana rugged consonants: ."Rot soon obscured with smoke all heaven aoooared . from t hose deup-throfikid engines belched, whoe Ernpowellod with oatragreona noise the air . ' And ail ber en'rails toie, tiiHormiif loul ' i Their devilish glut, endued thunderbolts, and hail ' Of iron glob." To express an opposite idea his sentences , glide on. vowels: "Alii all the wailu barinenious airs wore heard." IJacon says: "The trembling ol water hatb resernblouce to the letter (luenchiuif ,of hot metals to the letter e; antirlinir of ,dog with the le'tfr r; the noise of screech owls with the Mter eh; voice of cats with the diphthong va voire of f.uek'ios with the diphthong ou; sounds ol strings with the diphthong n(j.n This analyza tion or, rather, onomatop(pia m.ght be car ried much further. The idea rt bubbling is wrll expressed by the word, but Shakespeare, in a well-known versp, adds the I't and o' until, when read by tine elocutionist?, we almost bear the sound ol the water: "1 or a charm ot powerful trouble Like a hell-oroth boil and bubble Double, double toil and ironble Fire bora and cauldron bubble." The description of a yieldine. wavy motion is intensified by th sonna of as In the phrae, "wallowing unwieldy,'! used by Milton. The lcttf-rris well UBed to express harsh, irrating, rattling noises, and has a narrower and quicker sound than I. Thin? "Such hurt's of horrid thunder, -Such frroam ol roinng wind and rain" So , , rh, th. express all hissing and sharp sounds, as in Collins' "Evening:" "Save where the weak-evd bat With short shrill shriek lliej bv "on leathern wlnirs." A similar effect in a line of the poet Percival indicates a curious bluntness ol ear, or else carelessness tor music in words. In a poem intpnded to sii9gost any ideas ratherthan things sharp or hissing, l'ercival sings or rather whistles: "On thy fair boSom, Silver lake, The wild bwan Spreads luS (Snowy Sail." A hum, a murmur, the vibration ol a harp string, or any similar sound, is opst expressed by the letters m, n, ng. Midden surpiise seems to have an association with si, as in Bpenserr "With staring countenance stern, as one astound, And stsseonng -tops to meet what sudden stonr liad wronitht that horror strange, and dared, his dreaded power." So the emotion of fear, in which the voice einks to a whisper, is better expressed by such U tters as h, f, t, p, k. than by e, d, b, g, etc. Long vowels describe slow motions, as: "The lowing herds wind slowly o'er the lea." Short vowels describe quickness, as, for, in stance, the short t in the following: "Therefore do nimble pinioned doves draw love, And therefore has the wind swift Cupid's wings." An Alexandrine line full of long vowels to express slow motion, is the commenest illustra tration of sound aiding sense, as in Drydcn's "Ameid:" "Maiostie moves along, and awful peace maintains." Other instances might be given at length. The ortbeopists, it seems, are not yet agreed as to the sounds in our sommonest letters and words, for Mr. Caleb Bates Josselyn has just puDlished a pamphlet in which is unfolded the plan of a new pronouncing dictionary. We are told that in the passage of the voice from m to 8 we unavoidably pronounce p, showing that there is no ditlerence in the common rapid pronunciation ot glimce aud glimpse; in the passage from n to s we pronounce t, showiog sense and cents, false and faults, to be the same; in the passage from ng to sand nq to th. k Is developed, muking kinus and length really kinpks and lenkth. The words combs and limb, adaincr s to themselves in the plural, re deem their b from sileuee; and b would be p, as above, if the were not flattened into z. j$h we are told io sy. as in "I shell" (Ice yell), "I miss you" (I mishyu.) Wh is really hw, as you will see by prefixing A to wine, and making it hwine, or, as we absurdly spell it, whine. And so on. To show the peculiarities of pronunciation among men of different dialects, and amung foreigners attempting to speak our language, would require too much space to be attempted in this article. It is curious, however, to observe the law of compensation that operates in almost all cases of mispronunciation. The cockney banishes h from heaven, but gives it a place in earth. The v that is dropped when the wictuals come upon the table, finds a local habita tion in the vine that is drunk afterwards, and the missing to had already fitted the gap that was lelt by the v. The Dutchman interchansres.f lor c, t for d and p tor b, as was noticed when a worthy adopted citizen was attempting to ex plain the ditlerence between two swine, the smallest of which.was the oldest. "The little bis," he said, "is the piggest." His frau inter posed a correction. "You wid excuse him," she said, "he no speak - coot English. He no mean the little big is do rdg.est, but de youngest little Dig is ae Ol test." ine countryman en.iojs him self in walking among the meaciers with Elizar by his side; ani cannot endure the "airy" indi vidual who, having remained during the' Wiutah in the city, takes his country trip in the sum ruah; yet in the wonderful operation of natural laws the one Uses the r'a which the other passes by without notice. So. when our country cousin drops a termination irom notnin' ana sometmu', there are some in the city Who add the wandering ng to garding and founting, or in lieu of that give the cur tailed words a new letter and make them no think and somethink. In the mouths of some speakers aud actors, with aggravated attacks of elocution, who desire to d splay the sonorous tones ot their voice, the sounds of the laucuaae undergo stranee contor tions. The liquids, r, i, m, "and n, especially sutler. The Fourth-of-July orator extends his lieht 8rm, rolls his eyes upwards in a fine "fine frenzy" and exclaims: "Ullovel-ly art-ah thou, oh eallo-rious ulland I M-mighty, m-m-a-a-are-vel-Ious and m-maeniticent n-nation ! Bey u- iiiui-i De-yona powerrr ot th pa-a-ainter's pencil to picturrre I The nrrefuge of strrueeul-ling hu-u-manity !" He adds as many new letters as the boys in their "hog latin," which U made use ot to raystity eavesdroppers. A boy asking a friend to go with him says, "Wig-ge you-ge go-ge wig ge me-ge ?" The other, replying in the negative savs, "Koge, Ige woge." The "ah" at the end of the word is peculiar to religious speakers; and very many other ancctcu pronunciations spring up in the pulpit anu me lirayer-meeunp, marring tne enect ot good teachings and furnishin; opportunities to scoffers. Many well-intentioned laymen tliink it is an evidence ol earnestness to get entirely out urraiu in tneir prayers, mamug no pauses, ana drawing in frequent and hasty supplies of oreatn torougn tne meaium ot tnose dreadful oh's, which 1 think, are worse than those "dreadful ur's" of which Holmes speaks. I remember a good and eloquent preaouer who umju always to pray aua i mention it not irivoiousiy in Deautuul words ot Scripture, as follows: "Awake-ah ! awake ah! oh. arm of the Lord ah. and put on strength. Gird-ah thou thy word-ahto thy thlgh-ah, victorious King, u '1le-Hn thou ibrth-ah in thy gaw-awspel charriot cong kerring and to cong-ker-ah," etc. lu" iraueay pronunciation ot the theatres s worte than all. " Wben the lorn damsel, with a frantic sere, ch uries, uoip, nymd heaven!' aud drops upon her knees On tao irrecn-baise beneath the (canvas) treg- bte to her side avenging valor fly 'Ha i.viiiain ! draw ! Now, terraitorr, yield or die !' " It will be seen that there is a predilection on the state tor the Walkerian pronunciation of kind. Here are other specimens: " How - now - ye-se- kurret-bla-ack-and-mid-niirht "Mebarro! Meliarae! Mo kyinMoin tora harse'" Jd-m-inlB cream ! ow-be-me-bo-o-wl, kurraven wr-r-r-retch !" The mere resemblance in tlie pronunciation of many worus uirnisuca to uie language all its juyujt's. iuc uK-uuiy i" F,uulme.mnou of dif ferent words or tDe double meaning ot the same word furnishes ull our puns. These subjects would reu uire too much space to be lrptfi in this article. A whimsical effect U produced iu vnuu.is was oy a Minimi ii,y rivminputtioii. Moore has this enitmia la his Diary: Mv Crss u a dropper, my scoud a propper, and my whole a whopper. The. answer is "FalatatF." A Cali fornia iTivine ociiig asked, after ,u trip to silver Land, -what he thought of the country, reulied. "There are but three things at Washoe, sir big mini'", little mines, aud whiskey shops; in other words, upbir noies, gopher noies, ana loaier noieB," a traveller interrogating a backviocdeiun, received brief but pertV neni itiiawL-rv, thus: "Whose uoowe is this?" "Mogg's." "Of what built?" "Logs." "Anv uoighiirrs ?" "Frogs. " "What is vno soil "Boi;g." "The climate V "Fogs." "What do you live on?" "Hogs." "Hoivdo you e1uu tlieui?" "Dogs." The following epiy is still briefer, r it tuwrs two quen tlons at once: "Here, Biddy, medarlint. what's the time o'night, and wherp'e the pirtty pud ding?" "It's fight, slrr1 It is said to bean actual fact that a boat some time aso passed np the Ohio Tiver named the Ohrmjrilmw, from Kcd stone, bound to Limestone, loaded with millstones and grindstones, and commanded by Thomas Stone. There Is a poetical account somewhere of a sailor man w.'jo (in the ditty) answers a hail, thus: "I'm Jonathan Homer, mm'er and owner, Of the nchooner Mary Ann. She comes trom Piaukatank, laden wlta oak-plank, And bound for Surinam." A tolerable antithesis is produced in the fol lowing by the mere pronunciation: The Yankee widow hoave- a sigh, then (eminently practical ) mayhap const -not a pie ; The Hindoo widow uitctt inoau and cry, and then construct a pyre. The first from mn evokes not e'en a 'fle!' 1 be last from stolid wood evokes a fire." Fcho verses have occasionally amused the most erudite writers in moments ot leisure, thougn they have No met with some ridicule. Butler speaks of them as "5mall poctn' splay-foot rhymes 1 bat make her (Rcho) In thou- rutjful stories To answer to ini'ronBtorien, And most unconscionably depose To things el which she nothing knows." Yet he immediately attempts some echo verses himelf. and produces very poor ones. A witty French poet makes g6od use of them in the fol lowing: Tonr nona plaire, an pluniet JUet. Tout en nsage. Mais oa trouve souvent Vtnt Dans son langago. On y voit aes (Jommls Hm Comme dos Princes Ainen etre venos Nuds De lenrs Provinces. Here is an excellent echo verse: "What are tbey who pay three guineas To hear a tnneol Paranini's? Echo l'ack o' ninnies," Dr. Harrington wrote some curious punning words for a well-known glee, whose music is, I believe by Callcott. The first lines of it are: "An how, Sophia, can you leave your lorer, and ol hope bereave," etc. This is to be sung with a vociferous conflagra tory emphasis as if it began "A house a-tlre! Can yon leave?" Suggesting the ridiculous idea of a person hesi tating whether to leave or not, under such cir cumstances. ' In like manner another stanza begins "Co fetch the Indian's boirowed plume," which is to be sung some what as if it were "Go fetch the enginea " We should Judge charitably of those ludicrons pronunciations which arise lrom physical mis fortunes. Of this rlass is probably the lip; though it has been stated that some ladies affect it under the impression that it makes them look interesting, and is even better than Mrs. Mer dle's "prunes and prism." to give a pretty posi tion to the lips. It is further said that girls lisp because they wish to be kissed and I have been inlormed ol an instance in which a gentleman relating this to a young lady whose enunciation was usually distinct, was answered by her, "Iho I've heaid 1hay." A cold in the head has a very unpleasant effect upon the voice, as the following serenade by a lover so afllicW will illustrate: "Oh ! ask me dot to blow my dose, 1 By cbarbip ode, my owd : ' Yon bay dot dow de paid I feel It dever cad be dode! . Oh ! bight we fly 10 other scedes, Or dwell id ydder star. Ob ! tbed, bv lubly baid. id bliss I'd striae by lnrht catarrh! Chorus Oh! ask be dot, ete. "Ibewidd that blows across the booiwy iiad it a dos to blow, With such a code a I liab got, Ah! would it blow it? Doe! Bat see, do rays of cubbig dawd Are gleabig on iho dew : I hear de ocrry bugle hord, By baided fair At-tiohied !" A British gentleman with a cold, and who had also been drink lug- wine, attempted, eome years ago, to make a s-peech at a banquet given in honor of the capture ol Sebastopol. It is thus reported : "Bieter Bresidkd:- Aldhough we wer' nod the first to uludt the British flag oa the walU of bebasto- pod. (Long pause.) Son thad I wish to dodract iroD tne Jbntisn (nic) nussiaa (mc) ADencuu iuicj uo. Fndch, 1 bead. (Another long pause.) I bead (hick" (Cries of "Sit down, sit down.") He took his seat, exhausted bv the effort. The Influence of intoxicating liquors on the pronunciation is a! wavs remarkable, it is saia that degrees 01 arunaenness may De accurately ascertained Dy tne utterance 01 tne wortis brandy ana water." tor instance: Bootr, 'brandv and water:" rotnlortable. "brany'n'- watr;'' lively, "hranwatr:" lresh, "branwa'er;" very lresh, "Drumwaer;" tipsy, "Pramwarra;" very tipsy, "nramwer;" drunk, "bremwar;" very drunk, "oamwr-wrr-rr;" stupidly drunk, "brr-enghrh !" A cersou dead drunk is not capable ot articulation. The mere pronunciation ot the words "truly rural" nas long Deen consi dered an excellent test of sobriety. In the city of Washington it is said that the shibboleth of sobriety is the name national lnteiugencer. xne speeches of intoxicated people would be very ludicrous if they were not so melancholy in their exhibition ot unman lrauty. a patriotic citizen made a few remarks, one day, on the sublect of the draft. "If we draf men for'se war," said he, "we draf men lor'se war: 'f we 'lis' men for'so war, we 'lis' men torse war; admiu'strastrns unconstsh'n'l. eontiscash'ns unconstush'n'l. niggers unconstush'n'l tush'n'l, 'b'lieh'n Dis' C'luniby's 'tush'n'l; le s g' down ta' glass so then stusn ni i" It will be 6een that the above had a political bearing. So has the following: "I'm (hie) glad t' (hlc) meech vou la's an' gelurn in zts beau'f'l town. H'ra f Corsh B. (hie) Lincoln! (Voice. 'Shut up, vou ignoramus'). Who-a (hie) (bic) 'nshults me. I'm listed in 'e Wi' waices. He! he! he! (blc). 'Ats deaao goo' . ote. uai ha! (hie). I'm goin' 'o have my old cape varnish au' buy torh 'n make torshlight 'cesh'n. I'm goin' 'o vole t' caustu-tu cons'nl con (hicl whoshesTm tight? 'elische! He! he! he! I shmk I'll g' 'ome." There is a sad story about a poor tipsy fellow who posed au excellent Sunday School teacher by an unexpectedly pat reply. The 6ot had wandered oiincuy into tne scnooi, ano sat uowu, blinking and dishevelled, at the end of a sea: full of nice tidv little Sabbatic boys. The teacher, hoiriticd, said.with grieved kindness: "Why. James! do you know in what condi tion jou are .'" The drunken man replied. "Vpsh'in. 'm in th' call o' bit'aoss. the bonds 'f 'niquity. Ash ra' s more hard quesh'ns !' An after diuiier prosody ha been compose, or which the follewmg is a specimen: "Svnalu-pha it tiie cutting off a vowel at the end ot a aord betore another at the beginning of a word, at: "D haway w have iu' th' army. Echthlipeis Is the cutting off the letter m betore another word, as: 'We won't goho' t'll morlinff.' Ciasis is the contraction of two syllables iuto one. as: "I'll d'llgh' doesh'pear.' Diu resis is the resolving one syllable into two, as: iiesnaji lolly cood ful-lellow ' " it i naintul to listen to a habitual stutterer, vet the tollowing incident must have been amusing: A gentleman with an impediment in his speech called a waiter, in a restaurant, and said:' We-w-waiter, gi-giveraes-i-sooier rrot b-h-beef." The waiter stammered in reply. "W.w.'n.int f-p jol a-anv." The gentleman was highly enraged, thinking the waiter was mock- uwn, wben a tnira person arresteu ms im, and tried. "D-d-d-o-n't st-t-trike him. he stst-H- tuners i-6-F6lne as as w we d d-d-do." A person who married a stammering lady mentions some ot the inconveniences of physical hesitation. Hi it-1 met. tu at "Ofuin iu obvious dudfoon Hbe'd say If i i.turid to trive bor a log. In tne way of reproof Y ou'readng you'r dog- And once wrten I said, 'wo tan hardly afford bli extravagant ttvln, with onr modorato hoard And hlntnl jr nuht to lie wis. r. She looked, 1 aware you. exceedingly b uo, And frettuliy crlei, 'You're a Jow you're a Jew A very Judicious adviser!' "Again, when It happnned that wishing to shirk Borne rather unpleut aud uronous work, I beeued br to go to a neighbor. 8 he wanted to know why t made snch a fa, Aud saucily said, 'You're a cur eas ens Yon were always ac-eus-tomed to labor r Out of temper at lat with the insolont dame, And feeling thai madam was greatly to blame To scold ma Ins ten a of caressing. I mimicked ber speech like a cburl as I am And angrily said, Yon'ie a dam dnm dam A dam-age instead at a b.essing!' " A clergyman was once narrating a circum stance to a Iriend, when the latter remarked, "lbat'8 a confounded lie kMy story." ThD gentleman at tirst started, but recoving himself, requested his friend to place his syllables nearer togetner. a mau in company lately mentioned, as a matter of news, that a lady friend in the country had the day before hung herself to a limb (sensafon) ot the law. An ardent vouch took the hand of a charming girl in his own. and said, "My dear Ellen, I have long wished lor this sweet opportunity, and I hardly dare trust myself now to speak the deep emotions ot my palpitating Heart; but 1 declare to you, mv dearest Ellen, that-1 love vou most ten derly; your smiles would shed would shed" "Never nnnu the woodshed," said Ellen, "go on with that pretty talk." It Is related somewhere that a certain kin, once upon a time, scut to another king, "Send me a blue pig with a black tail, or else" The other, in great anaer replied. "1 have not cot one, out if 1 had" Upon this they went to war tor manv veara. but final! v. their resources being exhausted, and their kingdoms laid waste, they referred their quarrels to diplomacy. "What did jou mean," -aid the secoud kiDg to the hrst, "by saying, 'Sena me a bluo pig with a black tail, or else"' "Why," said ' the other, "I meant a tuue pig witn a DtacK tan. or e se some otder color. But," he continued, "what could vou mean bv SHying, 'I have not got one, but if I had ' " "Why. of course, if I had 1 should send it." The peace was concluded. Similar misapprehensions oiten occur to per sons listening to church music, as for instance in the lines: "end down a man Fend flown a man Send down a mansion from the skies." The enunciation in singing is generally so in- distinct that it is impossible to follow the words. A person listening to a song at a private party. eajs be heard the following: "The sllv' waves beside I love gather Bower From smiling bowers I love break-day mark The tremble dark But, oh lor to be With thee, mine own beloved, with thee! 1 wo gipsy maids are we." In case the words of a song were not all re membered, It has been suggested that the spaces might be filled alter the following manner: "Ob, if I had a lumty turn tumtv turn too, In the land of tbe ohvu and fig, I would sing of the Inmty turn tumly to yon, And play oa the thingumv-jig," Or, in case that is too great an effort for the memory, as follows: "Dumty dnmty dumty love, Dumty diddy heart, Dumty dumty dumty prove Dumty diddy part." The hearer would generally know as much of the song whether these woras or the proper ones were used. A person attending church took down a hymn as he heard it, and after wards reterrea to tne nvmn-Dook tor a transla tion, with tne following result; WUAT EE HEAjtD. "Waw-kaw, waw daw aw raw, Thaw saw thaw law aw waw, Waw-kaw taw thaw raw vaw waw braw, Aw-thaw, raw-jaw saw aw." THE TRANSLATION, "Welcome, sweet day oi rest, That saw the Lord arise ; Welcomo to this leviving breast, Ana these rejoicing eyes." The Rev. F. W. Shelton. speaking of the exe- ration ol difficult nieces bv amatour choir- slneers, describes the manner in which part of tne louuwiug Biun.K ia sung: "True love is like that precious oil, Which, poured ou Aaron's head. Ran down nis beard, and o'er his robes Its costly moisture shed." In the prodigious effort of this performance, the ear-splitting combination ot the several voices hardly bore a resemblance to that oily current pourea on Aaron's Dcara, which "Ban down his beard, and o'er his head Kan down his beard hiB robes And o'er his robes Ban down his beard ran down his o'er his robes His lobes, his robes ran down his beard flan down his o'er his robes Ban down his beard h-1-8 b e-a-r-d Its costly moist Ban down bis beard ure beard his beard hii sbed - Ban down bis beard bU down His robes us costly moist his beard ure shed his cost his robes ure shsd Its c-o-i t-l-y moisture thed!" Bishop Seabury, being asked his opinion of tnis periormance, replied that ce paia no atten tion to the music; but that this sympathies were much excited for poor Aaron, as he was afraid ne wouia not a nair lelt. it might be added. that he would have to insure his shed at extra hazaidous rate. - The following is said to be the proper way of singing "You'll Remember Me:" "When other lips and o-o-o-other hearts Ihe.r taiea of love shall tell, In language which which which whi-i oh imparts 1 be power It feels so well, Tbere may per-per-haps Some re re-co e-leonon be, Some re co ls-her-ber-hor-lection be, Ot tiay that might as har-bar-bar-arp-py bin, And y on'll re me-e-e ember me ! - And you'll re-mem ber You'll ro-me-e-e e-e-em-be-e-er me." Many persons in moments of hurry or excite ment make queer transformations of letters or syllables. It is reported that a very nervous gentleman once announced a steamboat explo sion to tbe Connecticut Legislature as lollows: "Spister Meeker and ledges of the membrisla ture, the Elliver Ollsworth hasbiledher buster!" A very earnest clergyman once exhorted his audience in the following words: "Why will you, my hearers, oh, why will you give up your birthright tor a pot of message ?" Somewhat on this principle, but transposing ideas and words rather than sylables, a certain programme of a student's ceremonial once an nounced "Music by tho President. Prayer by the Band." There is a poem going the roundi of tho press supposed to be written by a person ot unsettled nerves, commencing: "Oh I for some deep secluded de'l, Where brica aud mortar's line mif bt cease To sit down In a pot of grease Ko, no I mean a giot ot peace!" CIGARS AND TOBACCO. A niJJT TO TOBACCO CITErVERa WEDDING-CAKE FINE CUT TOBACCO. The only FI3ECUT TOBACCO ever manufactured in rtuladelphia. Ti Beet in the Market. EVE It Y 13 O D Y USES IT. Manufactured from the Best Leaf. BOLD EVEBY WHERE. 18 U J- actory, B.B. corner jbjioad and WAi.io.cs Streets FINANCIAL. 0,00,0,000 SEVEN TER CENT. FHtST-CI.SS First Morgage Bonds. 1HE NORTH M18MOCBI JUIL..OAD COMPANT baa authorized to sell their First Mar gage Seven Per Cent ThirtT year Bonds. The wbole amount Is8,0o.fti0, CoapoDS, payable on tbe first dajs of 3 1NUARY and JTIY of each Tear, In New York. Before consenting to this Agency, we have made a carrtol examination ot tbe merit of thene Bonds, by sending W llliam Mllnor Roberts, and others, to report npen tbe condition and prospects ol tbe ttatjroad. Their report is on file at onr office, and Is highly satisfactory. We do not hesitate to lecomroend these Hood aa being aflretalasa security, and a most safe and Judicious In vestment. The proceeds of these bonds will be nsed In extending a Road (already complete 170 miles Into North Missouri) to tbe Iowa State line, where K Is to connect with the railroads oi Iowa; and to also extend it wctwrd to the Junction with tbe Pacific Railroad (at Leaveowoitb), and other roada leading no the Missouri River, so that this mortgage of 18 000 000 will cover a completed and well-stocked Road of 389 miles In length, costing at least ilO.OUUOO. with a not annool revenue, after tbe first year, ol over tl.MOOtiO, or a sum nearly four times beyond the amonnt needed to pay the Interest on these Bonda. Tbe Income of the Boad will, of coarse, Increase every year. The Railroad connects tbe great city of St. Loots, with Its two hundred thousand Inhabitants, not only with tbe richest portions ot MIsonrf, bnt with tbe Htates of Kansas and Iowa, and tbe great Pacillc Railroads. To the first applicants we art prepared to sell FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS, at tbe low rate of E1CHTY CENTS, desiring to obtain a better pi tee for tbe remainder. Ibis will yield about 8 percent. Income, and add 20 per cent, to principal at maturity. Any mrthtr Inquiries will be answered at onr office. JAY COOKE & CO., 7161m BANKERS, No. Ill South THIRD Street. JAY COOKE & CO. No. Ill South THIRD Street, BANKERS AND DEALERS IN GOVERNMENT SECURITIES U. 8. 6s OF 1861. 6-208, OLD AND NEW. 10-408; CEK1IFICATES OF INDEBTEDNESS, 7 SO NOIES, 1st, 2d, and 8d Series. COMPOUND INTEREST NOTES WANTED. INTUKkST ALLOWED ON DEPOSITS. Collections made. Stocks Bought and Sold on Commission. Special business accommodations reserved for LADIES, 6 72m JOHN 8A1LEB. OEOBOB STEVENSON. gAILEll & STEVENSOX, BANKERS AND BROKERS, No. 131 S. THIRD Street, OPPOSITE OIRARD BASK. GOLD AND 8ILVER, BANK NOTES, GOVERN MENT BONOS, and COMPOUND INTEREST NOTES, bought and sold. COLLECTIONS promptly made on all accessible points C1TT WARRANTS WANTED. C7 U stnthlm STOCKS and LOANS bought and sold on commission. U. S. S E C U JUT I ES. A SPECIALTY. SMITH. RANDOLPH & CO., BAXKEBS & BROKERS, 16 S. THIRD ST. PHILADELPHIA. 3 NASSAU ST. NEW YOKE. STOCKS AND GOLD BOUGHT AND SOLD ON COMMISSION HERE AND IN NEW YORK. 21 J)AVIES BROTHERS, No. 225 DOCK STREET, BANKERS AND BROKERS, BtJT AND HIU UNITED STATES BONDS. 1881a, MOs, 10 40s. UNITED STATES 1 3-lOs, ALL ISSUES. CERTIFICATES OF INDEBTEDNESS. Mercantile Paper and Loans on Co laterals negotiated BtocVi Bontht and Bold on Commission. 1 31 i JUE FIRST NATIONAL BANK HAS REMOVED' DurbiK tbe ere r tion ol tbe new Bank building, to 1 17 4p No. 805 CI1ESNUT STREET 5'20S-F 1 VE-TWEN TIES. 7'30s -SEVEN-THIRTIES WANTED. DE UAVEN & BBOTUER, 1 7 No. 40 S. Third ftrBfeHT. ICE COMPANIES. ASTEBN ICE COMPANT.-SEASON OP 186. e lbs. dally. 60 cents per week t lllba datlv. 7S cents per week! 18 lbs. dally, 90 cents per mk; 20 lbs dally, al OS per week. Penot. No MIOUKEN Street, below Third. . . TIIOM 48 J. LYONS, lit 3QUH JdYKHS LAND8CAPE DRAWING CARDS, A BEAU tiful icrlnot vlfrwn, nileen In number designed tor the Instruction of JiiTenlle artists Price. 16 ceu a a pariajie With the feVKMlNU TKLEUKVPU. MEW Y)K & CLU'l EB, etc , wUl be found ou aale at the 1281 . . NKW.4 NTANO. S. W. corner SEVENTH and CUEttJS L'T tureen. J WHISKY, BRANDY, WINE. ETC. (HESXliT (iKOV; WUiSkl. So. tlb North Till KIl gtrvH. It antriln was wanted to pn.y ihe oliolnts pnrlt, t ikl Whlny the ii liowlng c.-tiiUoatw ahould do ft there Is noa cohollC Sitmyluut Mioti commanding iacV cn inuaatluu t oin ineti liipli Niniive.h- t riiiLAOFj.i niA, September lRn W hST caretally tented the nninp o ot ( HS.-lvrn OKOV.. WHISKY wbwhvou snd n and flno that M contains ok or tub i-oisonoi s HimTsrt known at ri an oil. hlrh In tlie rhnrarter.ft'c and hilorloun ta aredlent ( tbe whlxk le In iiencra une HOOTH UkKRKIT a CAMaC, Ana y leal chemist ... . . HwTom Seritemherl 1RM, T hare anaiyien a sample oi I'itV.HM'T onoB V H1(RY received irom air harlna Wharton Jr Ihliaitelphla; end having canmili. te.ied It' I "ara p'ef sed to state that It Is entire t fbkk shoh romoKon on DKLiTKRiora aub.tanre It y aa unnauall no. aco Bne-flaTored quaJlty of whlnk.. ' oal James r ' Hti.Tot,M.i.. AualTtlcaJ Cb in la ' ... BosToa. March 7 m I hare made a cheml'st ana yaia of cominpn-.'.l .m pie. of CHKKNUT 4iU0VK W ttlsK V . which imiVeatk be free from the heavy Kull H. and perfectly pure an nnadulerated. 1 he fine flavor of thin whisky Is derive (loin tbe iraln nsrcl In manulacturlng It. Keapectmlly. A. A. H YE. M. D Bute Assayer. No 16 Boylston street. LONG "VV O It T H'S CELEBRATED CATAWBA WINES. J. W RAMMAR, SOLE AGENT, 614thsma2 No. OQO MATIKRT Street. NATHANS & SONS, I M P O R T E R S BRANDIES, WINES, GINS, Etc. Ete. No. 19 North FRONT Street I'lijtLADELPUIA. MOPE" KATHAH8, HORACE A. NATHANS, OBLAXDO D KATBABS. 119m MISCELLANEOUS. J. VAPOHAN MEBBICE. WILLIAM B. HEBJUCK. JOHN E. COFE SODTIIWARK FOUKDur, FIFTH AND WASHINUION Streott, PlllLADLPBIA MEKH1CK & .s.iNS, FKOIK EfcK AND alACHlNISTS. manufacture Ilinb and Low I'roaiiure ateam Engines for Land hiver and Murine Service. Holler, OasometerH, Tanks, iron Boats, etc. as tin Re oi all klnda. el her Iron or biaHS. Iron Frarre Rools lor Gas Works, Workshops, nd Ballroad Stations etc K. torts and Uas Machinery, ot the latest and most Im proved conatiuctton. Kvery deaoilption of Plantation Machinery, and Rngar, Paw, and tlrlnt Mills. Vacuum Pans Open Mcanj Tralm. befecaiors. Ft tera, Pnmplng Enginea etc. (o'e Agents lor N. B'lleaz's Patent Hurst Boiling Al paratua, Ncsmyih'a Patent hteam Hammer, and As plnwall & Woolsey'a Patent Centrliugal jugar Draining Machine. 6 90$ BRIDESBURO MACHIMi WORKS. OFKICE. J.O. BO JN KI)T WTKEET, FHILADBI.FniA. We are prepared to till order to any extent for onr well snown MACHINKRYFOn COTTON AND WOOLLEN MIF LS, Including a l recent Improvements In Carding, Spinning, and Weaving. We Invite the attention ot manufacturers to onr exten sive orks. . i is Alfred jenk9 a son. JTITLEK, WEAVER & CO., MANUFACTUKEKS OF Manilla and Tarred Cordage, Cords' Twines, Etc., No. 23 North WATER Street and No. tl North DELAWARE Avenue, PHILADELPHIA. iDWIit II. FlTLF.R, MlCTIAEL WkAVEB, C'ONBAS F CL0TB1EB. IU G-EORGE PLOWMAN, CARPENTER AND BUILDER, No. 232 CARTER Street And No. 141 DOCK Street. Machine Woik and ililUrlt;htlug promptly attends IB CORN KXCIIANOB BAG MANCFACTORT. JOHN T. B A I L K Y 0 O., BEHOVED TO N. E. corner of MARKET and WATER Streets. PHI adalphla, DEALERS IN Bit; 8 AND BAGOINQi oi every uescilptlon. for Gtaln, Flonr, Bait, huper Pho-phate ot Lime, Bone Imst, Etc lame and email GUNNY BAG8 canstantly on hand. Also, WOOL SACK.". JobhT.Baii.et. J ambs Cascade. LEXANDKR (T C ATT K LL ACOl PKODTJCK COMMISSION MEHCHANT9. No. 26 NORTH WBARVXS, AND NO. 27 NORTH WATFR STREET, PHILADELPHIA. J ALEXANDER O. CATTKLL. EL1JAB O. C1TTBIX' COTTON AJS'D FLAX SAIL DOCK AND CASTAS, ot all numbers and brands. Tent Awn In ft, Trunk, and WaKon-Cover Duck. Also PaperU anu lecturers' Drier Felts, from one to eve feet wide; Paullns, Belting, Sail Twine, etc JOUN W. EVEUMAN A Co., 6H No l8 OSES' Alley. WILLIAM 8. GRANT, COMMISSION MERCHANT, No. 33 8. DELA WARD Avmue, Philadelphia, aosiir vob Dnpent's Gunpowder, Reilned Mtre, Charcoal, Etc. W. Baser A Co 'a Chocolate. ( oooa, and Vroma, Crocker Bros. A Co.'s Yellow Metal bheaihlng, BolU. andKalJs STOVES, RANGES, ETC. QULTER'S NEW PATENT DEEP BAND-JOINT HOT-AIR FUltNAOE. RANGES OF ALL SIZES. ALSO, PHIEGAR'8 EW LOW FRESSURD 8TKAM BLEATING APPAEArCS, 0B BALK BY CHARLES WILLIAM9, 6 10 S Ko. 1182 U ABKET STttXEI. THOMPSOW'S LONDON KITCUENER. OR J TROPE AN RANOK, lor Hmliles, hotels, or nublio iiiHtiluilona In TWKNTY DIFFKRKNX bIZrH. A Iho Phi adeiphla Rennet. Uot-Alr k.ir. racea. Portable H eaten, Lowtlown Uratua Fireboard Stoves, Bate Boiler. Mewhole Plates, Broilers, Cook ing Htoves, etc., wholesale and flail, by the manaiaua turera HI A RP A THOMPSON, S 19stntbGm No. 209 N. BECOKD Street JjSTAlJLlSIIED 179 5. A. S. ROBINSON, Frencli Plate Lookln?:-61asses, ENGRAVINGS PAINTINGS, DIUTOGS ETe liannlacturer of all kinds ot Looking-GlaBs, Portrait, and Pio ture Frames to Order. No. 910 CHESNUT STREET. THIRD DOOR ABOVK THE CONTINENT AX FUliADJiLPfilA. fi J5J i a vug'tuatie vuauituiKWur . . i i .Vu - 1 I. K
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers