»3 THE ART OF SPEAKING, A Grand Tragi-Comical, Drama-Farcical Episode, —"v In One Afl: Taken down in Short Hand. Scene th« i o v s s v tt , For free debate. Enter Phelim 0' Flagherty, John Bull, Men/. Petit, Brother Jonathan, Mein Heer Vanfpunk, Timid, Saw ney, Chi/el, Simple, Buckram, Soalleather, Currycomb, Slaughter, Hammer, isfc. &c. <witb red nefes ; all <wish j cuiter mugs before them. Mr. MAG*PYE, PreJidcnt. PreJidcnt. Order, order; will gentlemen come to order? You must know, gentlemen, it is an indispen sable duty incumbent on us to he ready cut and dried for the grand hargumentatio» that is to ensue. Are your mugs all well primed ? /111. Aye, foaming to the brims. ' Pre. Bravo, bravo! we shall all have flippant tonguas in thi6 important debate. Will we now pro ceed to the order of the evening ? Shall the rules be read ? /111. Aye, aye, aye, aye, yes, yes, yes, no, no, by J—»• Pre. The ayes I believe have it. Those in the affir mative will please to hold up their hands. The ayes have it. [W/] All gentlemen who fre quent this iiluftrious -,7/J-Embly are considered mem bers for the evenin. He who f'peaks firft may speak last ; but nobody else. You are to hobferve, gentle men, that you are to take great keer not*) diflurbthe harmony, decorum, an i regnlatianth-. of this meetin —no hallowing, pounding, kickii g, hissing, clapping, feratching, elbowing, &c. will be tolerated. I will now proceed to read the question. On motios by Phelim O'Flagherty last Wednefdav will be debated to night, viz. " Is the joys to be endured in the old ba rhelorOip ft ate greater r.or under pettycoat govern ment ?" his PHELIM f O'FLAGHERTY. mark. Mr. O'Flagherty, as the proposer, will please to o pen the debate. o'i7. I will rife as yor honor bids me, and I shall beg lave fcr to b£ fpakin to the banacfits exulting from fitch meetins as these here. Pre. You mean resulting, Mr. O'Flagherty, dont you ? O'Fl. Aye, all's one for that—now—as do you fee— for argument fake, —and, as 1 was goin to lay Xhis e venin, to fpeerh'fy is the mnlt applaudable thing in the universe : because, do you fee, perhaps, as I would be after telling you, this here hauguftbody will, may hap, come te> lettle in time the great confirms of the nation—now—as 1 have told you, or to be after asto nishing you with my hellequence ;by J —s that was a bold puih for an orator (s'ftde) —or if Many voices. He dont speak to the point; kick him down, kick him dowft, turn him out, turn him out — t— t Pre. Silence, silence, order, order, gentlemen, oh, gentlemen. O'Fl. By my fhoul but I will spake ; I'll spake in spite o' the prattieft of you. Arrah be quiet there ho llies. The deel burn O'Flagherty but lie will spake, and you that are so noisy in that there coiner, will yon plafe to be afy while 1 beg leave to spake in ptaife of pettycoat government. Soalleather. Pull him down ; he dont speak a word of sense. o'Fl. Arrah, dear Soalleather, the dibbil pitchfork me, an you ant the greateit liar that ever stitched a shoe. All. Pull him down—down —kick him—hullo— whew'—[iuhijllinft] wring hi* nofe—nofe—nifs —s * —clap, clap, clap, £clapping of hands.3 Pre. For God's fake, gentlemen, do, pray, do try to be a little more quiet. O'Fl. Arrah d ear honies, as long as I've a pair of knuckles, da yon fee, I'll be letting you know that Phelim O'Flaghterty arnt afraid of the prattieft of you. By my fhoul, was there ever such impudence under the fun ? A set of raggamufhns, with leathtr a prons and dirty faces, to be taling a gentleman in his fpach, is a burning flume, do ye fee ? \_ail quiet] but as you faim to be boddering me no more, I'll beg lave to be for going on with my cart. The government of pettycoats, Mr Prelident, as I was a going to fay, flo ye fee, is—l spake; trom exparience—is—furely more honorable nor t!r. old bacheiorlhip state. Arrah I shall lie bold enough in telling you, by the bye, that the old bachelor is i poor, lousy fort of being. Now —as — that is—take notice, that my wife and I have been the very happiett couple in all the kingdom of Pennlylva nia, do you hear, honies? —We have lived now this seven years upon paraturs and Indian uutnplins, and by my fhoul the tender jade never bate me the deel a once except twice a week, or so with the l.raomftick riow and then, —do you fee, —and —sor —becaufe —as I would acquaint you, she once give me a black eye with the tongs ; but both of buy were soon as fwatt again as sugar candy, do you fee ? and by my conscience she was the fmeft body in all the wo*ld to darn flockings, and fo,-do you fee. And —as if—but Mr. Spakerthis whisky has made a woeful eompreflion about my bow els, and has given me a small fit of the cholic, do yeu fee ? and so I move you, that the furder conliderauoa of this queflion be pofiponed for immediate discussion by the other gentlemen now present, do yeu fee ? John Bull. As lor my wife, fir, by the lord Harry, file was the kyindeft crichur I ever knyew ; she was 1 fifty thoos and ponder ; and then her eyes were so languilhing Mons. Petit. [lnterrupts him] \Jomebody treads on his tce~\ Oh— —ah fa christie oh my toe,— nondondievi t-efe is dc tird time dat I has like to be kilt vid dis tern rabble. ( A great uproar. J Brother Jonathan Mr. Cheerman, it m.ikes me feel plaguy fhamcd, I veow you now, to fate fitch a ilucid figbt of foalks. Hswfundcbber, it is fartin thac 1 line to speak a good word in favor of the gals. I'fe been married to my Dorothy this three years, and, tar nafhun seize me, ct" there's fich another in the land of the living. Why, J A-eow you, she milks twenty ceows every d v i she fciubs the liandieft you ever seen, and at for mak : r.g molafles cake, dick ins.take me ef she'd .tiirn her back to any wcrr.an in the varli' world. And always when I comes home from the punkiu patch she coitus to me so loving and (fomebouy pinks him J sticks a pin in me—(a tnofi uncon/cionable laugh Ji iences Jonathan■) Mcmheer Vimlpwik. I dings, Mr Speaker, das te ihentlcman mit te tow trowfers d'at fhprakt latt was a most remn ition fooh : mine Cot, ouf he hat mein fife she would soon fpetlte teivel mit him I (Mr. Timid gets up viith a piece of ppper in his hard, containing the. herds of his difcourje.) •Timid I conceive, Mr. Prelident -i ll that— eh 1 fay eh (looks down in his hat J give me leave to remark—-that eh eh - ■ that my col- league—hem—is eonclufive ~eV -sr. his argument —eh . he has told you eh (looks do/.- ?'•? his hit J that he was eh the happiest-- eh-- or all men. By eh eflablifhing this ?h -old barhelorfhip doflrine —eh—it would be eh- — ( vis month becomes terribly parched and be spits) dangerous to .the state and eh 1 \you»cl beg leave eh to tell you, Mr. President, eh that — f his throdt seems choaked up, be haiuks and then/pits) that I fay—eh flooks dawn in his hat again) that eh 1 fay, Sir (fits down confn/ed.) Pre. Oh Mr. Timid, dont be disheartened; try again —pray finife vour harangue, Mr. Timid. Tim. I fay, Mr. Prefident —eh—'it is a matter, fir, eh—[cough: andfpits] —that is *o fa) —eh—I have nothing more to fay. {_He fits down and Sawny gets up.'] Sawny. An ye wad ha' a sample o' gen tlemen, I wul gee it to ye. In guide troth, I ha' a mickle deel t® fay on this fubjait, and ken ve, rann, vvlia was the prtttieft lassie in a' the world ! ye dinna ken, I fnppofe. ( Afcraping of feet and a loud talking.) Gad zooks, an ye wanna ha'patience to hear, ye may talk yourfel', and the muckle deel tak ye a'. I wad tell ye, maimer President, 'ti, a g r eet difgrafs to ye, mon, to let them kick up fie a dull; (loud burfis of | laughter) what the deel are you about, mon, wi' your , long face ; ye kinna kape pace, eh ? (a very loud cough) then ihe deel tak me an ye flianna ha' nae mare o* my eloquence. (Sits down.) Chi/el. I likes, Mr. President, the notion of im-; proving in oratory. I ant prepared lo speak ; but I , think in time the rity ®f Philadelphia will hold a can- I dleflick to the \rorld —(a dreadfulfit of fneezrngfeizes ; the honorable member, which prevents him from fro ceeding, and unfortunately honing no ha '■ dkerchief he is obliged to wipe his nose on his coat tail; Mr. Simple, taking the advantage :f his difcomfiture, rises.) Sim As I ant ready, Mr. President, to debate this here question, and a great many of my friends present here ant ready nuther, if I ant out of order I'll make a motion to adjourn this here question till some other tipiej but as to the gentleman's candleftiok I would observe— Pre. [lnterrupting him] Sir, you are out of order, f Mr. Simple fits do wn. J Mr. Buckram. I mult confefs, Mr. President, I had no intentions of offering my sentiments on this fubjefl, and to face this refpeiitable audience where all eyes are agapfc upon one, puts me all over in a sweat ; but, as circumstances prove to me the fallacy of the arguments of the gentleman in the red night cap over the way, J shall beg leave to differ from him in opinion. I mult lay, fir, that I am kicked aud called a ioufy rascal by my wife every hour in the day. Would you believe it, Mr. President ? don't you think she had the audacity to call me only half t. man ! ! Pre. As to matter o'that, Mr, Buckram, she may have some reason. Buck. I beg rardon, fir, but, Mr. President, I call you to order, —I fay I call you to order, fir, and you i needn't to gape your eyes f® wide open at me. I was ! going to tell you, fir, at me, and swears it takes inne taylors to make one man ! —Zounds —sounds—zounds—give me my yard flick, give me my yard flicks till I belabour her till she's tilick and blue. Pre. Oh, fie, fie, Mr. Buckram, do you know where you are. Your wife is not near you. Buck. I beg the company'! pardon, and from these observations I would infer, that old bacheiorftiip it the happiest slate. T A great noise of biffing, clapping hands, pounding %n thefioor, : S'c in the mean time Messrs. SoaMeather and Soap-boiler both rife together; feme cry SoaMeather, some Soap-boiler.] Pre. Mr. Soal leather. [W- leather rises upon thettyaf a bench, and speak s with his hat on.] Soal-I. Mr. Chairman—if—[a great blowing of noses and coughing drowns his voice, but he continues speaking.] Pre. Silence, ord«r, gentlemen—aa honorable mem ber is up. Soat-I. I fay, if we consider the question in its widest extent, it will appear the molt important question ever agitated even before Congress themfel'vts. I beg leave to differ entirely from the gentleman in the leather apron on my left. He has told you —[a great cough and blowing of noses again.] I intend to prove to you, fir, [ohe of the benches breaking down causes a great laughter] to prove to-you that the " yard-stick" of my honorable colleague—[a loud roar of laughter] my colleague whp was l'o much hen-pecked— [a great horse laugh which continues five minutfs ; Soal-leather gnashes bis teeth, fits down m a great paflton, and Ham mer rises Pre. A member up. Hum. As t© this here motion, iVIr. President, lam apt to thi-ak, it is a matter great confarn to the Uni ted States in point of population, and a- to what the gentleman in the red wig has said Slaughter. [lnterrupting him] —I move you, Mr. Frefident, that the gentleman now up be orderrd to conib his head, to w.ify his face, and to pull off his apron, before he is allowed to fptak before this illustri ous aflembly. Mr. Curr-comh. Second that motion. Ham. Mr. President, my face is as clean, and I'll appeal to ycur honor if I dont look as decent as any of you. Zounds, to be plain with you, 1 never saw fnch a group of ragged coats, greasy "night-caps, aud dirty faces, in my life. Slau. You're a liar and a fool. [ Hammer darts at him and clenches him : a terrible battle ensues, a dreadful uproar in the hall, andjeveral gentlemen are trod under foot.] Pre. Silence, fileuce, order, order, for God's fake, order gentieaen : this is not the way to be made ora tors on. slau. Fair play, fair play, letup. Ml. Form i ring, for*i a ring. [The uproar encreafes, and the ladies scream : mug', wigs, hats, members, iSjc. CSV. are tumbled together in a heap.] Ham. I dare you into the street. Slau. Come on, I'm your nhan. Pre. [His heart beating violently.] On motion by mvfelf, 1 adjovrns this Society to meet again at the fi"-n of the Cabbage-stalk, on Thurlday next, at seven o clac* I'. M. Exeunt Omnes. THE WARNING No. 111. THE Paris accounts inform us, that France has lately exeicifed towards Genoa an a& of atrocious opprefTtoit, which is ari additional and a finking in dication of the domineering and predatory spirit by which (he is governed. This little republic, whose tertitory icarcvly extends beyond the walls of her metropolis, has been compelled, it seems, to ransom herfe'f from the talons of France by a contributi on of nearly a million of dollars ; a large fun, for her caritia&ed resources. For this boon, " the French government engages on its part to renounce all claims upon Genoa, to forget what has palled du ring the prefeut war, and to forbear any future de mands. ' It would appear from this, that Fiance I to colottr the odious exaction, belidcs ihe pretence I of mifcondufl towards her in 'V.e prefenf has not difibined :o resort to the dale and pitiful cevice of reviving some antiquated claim upon tiie country itfelf. In vain, did the signal hazards encountered by Genoa to preserve her neutrality, in defiance of the host of enemjes originally leagued against France —in vain did the chara&er and title of repubK; plead for a mote generous treatment : the attrafti onsof plunder predominated. The spirit of lapine, callous to the touch of juftiee, blind to the evidence of truth, deaf to the voice of entreaty, mark ed out and de'-oted the vi&im. There -was no al ternative but-to compound «r perish. If it be even fuppofcj, though this has neverap peared, that at some period of thi war, Genoa may be chargeable with a£ts of questionable propriety in relation to France, it is manifeft, that it ought to be attributed to the neceflity of a situation which must have obliged her to temporize—a very small a«d feeble slate, in the midst of so many great con , fliQing powers, parts of her territories occupied by armies, which she was unable to oppose ; it were a mi j racle, indeed, if her cowduft in every parti, ular will ■ bear the test of rigorous scrutiny. Bwt if at any i time the of circumstances may have occa ; fioned some flight deviation, there is nevertheless full evidence of a cbnftant folieitude on the p-irt of Genca to maintain, to the utmofl of her ability, a i sincere neutrality. It is impofllble to forget the : glorious stand, which she at one time made ngninft the imperious efforts of Great-Britain to her from htt neutial position. The magnanimous'and exemplary fortitude, which (he displayed or ttat occasion, excited in this countryuniverf.il admirati on, ar.d must have made a ceep imprefiion. 'Tis' only to recollect that instance to be fatisfied, that the treatment which she has just experienced from France merits the indignant execration »f tm.ikiiid. Unfortunate Genoa 1 how little didst thou imagine, that thou wert destined so soon to be compei'ed to purchafi£ thy fafety from ihe crushing weight of that hand which ought to have been the firft lo rife in thy defence ! How fruitful at the fame time of inftruftion to us is th's painful example ! The molt infatuated par tisans of France cannot but fee in it an unequivocal proof of the rapacious and v[j> liftive policy which diflates her measure*. All men must fee in it, that she flagrant injuries which we are now fuffeiing from her, proceed trom « general plan of domina tion and plunder ; from a difpolition to prostrate nations at her feet ; to trample upon their necks ; to ravish from them whatever hei» avidity or conve nience may think fit to dedicate t» her nwa-ufe. The lad intelligent# from France seems to dispel the deubt whether the depredations in the Weft-In dies may Hot have resulted from misapprehension or abuse of vhe orders of the French government. It is now understood to be a fafl, that the cruifets of France every where are authorised to capture and bring in all veflels bound lo the ports ef her ene mies. This plan is pregnant with the worst evils, which are to be dreaded from thef declared and unqualified hostility of any foreign power. If- France, after being properly called upon to renounce it, (hall per fsvere in the measure, there cannot he a question but that open war will be preferable to such a stale By whatever name, treachery or pusillanimity may at • tempt to diiguife it, 'tis ia fadfc war, war of the woift kind, war on one sidb. If we can be in duced to submit to it longer than is necessary to as certain that it cannot be averted by negotiation, we are undone a people. Whether our {[eterminati on (hall be to lock up our trade by embargoes, or to permit out commerce to continue to float an unpro tf£led prey to French cruisers, our degradation and ruin will be equally complete. The deftruftion ps our navigation and commerre, the annihilation of our mercantile capital, the difptifion a«d loss of our feaitKn obliged to emigrate for fubfiflence, the ex tindtion of our revenue, the fall of public credit, the ua f ;nationof every species of induflrry, the ge neral impoverifliment of our citizens, these will be minor evils in the dreadful catalogue. Some year? of security and exertion might repair them. But the humiliation of the American mind would be a lasting and a mortal disease in our social habit. Mental debasement is 'he greatest misfortune that can befal a people. The mo't pernicious of con quests which a state can experience is a conquefi over that just and elevated sense of its own rights which inspires a due sensibility to insult and ihjury, over that virtuous and generous pride of character, which prefeis any peril or facrifice to a final fubmifSoß to ■ opprcflion, and which regardi national igncminy as the greatelt »f national calamities. The lecords of history contain numerous proofs ef this truth. But an appeal to them is unnecelTi ry. Holland and Italy present to our immediate r observation examples as decisive as they are deplora ble. The former within the laii ten years has un dergone two devolutions by the intervention of fo reign powers without ev«B a fcrious ftmgglc. Muti lated of precious portions of its territory at home by pretended benefaflors but real difpoilers, its do minions abroad (line into the pofleflion of its enemies | mies rather as dereli&s than as she acqmfitions of victory. Its fleets surrender without a blow. Im portant only by the spoils which it offers no less to its friends than to its enemies—every symptom in its affairs is portentous of national annihilation. ' With regard to Italy, 'tis fafficitnt to fay, that 1 (he is debased enough not even to dare to take part iu a conleft, on whieh, at this moment, her deltiny is fofpended. Modeiation in eveiy nation is a virtue. In weak or young nations, it is often wife to take every i chance by patience and address to divert hostility, i and in this view to bold parley vith infalt and tn ' j ur y—hut to capitulate with oppression, or rather to ' fm render to it at difcretien, is in any nation, that r has any power of refinance at all times, as foolifh r as it is contemptible.. The honor of a nation is its i *ife. Deliberately to abandon it is to commit an - aft of political suicide. Theie is treason in the fen r timent, avowed in the language of some, and be : trayrd by the conduct of others, that we ought t» » bear any thing from France rather than go to war - with her. The nation, «hich can prefer disgrace . to danger i» piejiaied for# master, and deserves : one 1 i AMERICUS. CONGRESS or tub UNITED S7ATES HOUSh OF RKPRESfcNTATIVtfi, Thursday, January 19. The House being in a committee of the whole on the fubjed of further revenue, Mr. Dent in the chair. Mr. Hartley h»ped the am-ndment of the gen. tleman from Connedicur, would not prevail. He did not fee that there was a profped of f u f~ ficient revenue from impost duties, and they mtift therefore, have recourse to dired taxes. The only question was whether thelaft ceufus should be made use of, or a new one taken ; he thought there w?» no neeeffity for a new one. He was convinced, he said, that a land tax was neceflary ; he would vote for it, and pay his portion of it. He hoped, finee they mud meet the question, that they might do it fooa, and not consume mora time in debate. Mr. Dayton (the speaker) said that the words " according to the lajl census," which were proposed to be stricken out, appeared to him objedionable in every point of view. If they implied that the enumeration made several years ago, (hould be the rule of apportionment even though a new one (hould be taken before the dired taxes were appor tioned, or, what seemed more probable, if it was intended in this mdiredt and covert way, to decide that no new census should be ordered with a view to a more equal apportionment of the burthens, there wastn either cafe a glaring impropriety in retaining and thu9 conneftyio them with the principle itf«ir. The important qneltion ef dired taxes ought to have been pr. fen ted ta the deliberation of the com mittee of the whole, in terms the most general and abltrad, dripped of every modification not necessa rily conneded wi-h it, instead of whi.h, there was blended in the fame sentence, and they were to de cide in the fame breath, another question equally, nay to some Hates more, important than the firit. Whethe- they were t» take the relative numbers in 1790 or thole in 1797 as the guide in laying the tax upon each liate, ought to undergo a full and separate consideration, and not by feeing -wrapped up as it Was in the other proportion, pass as the sense of the house without any difcuflion. Mr. Daytoo said he (hould be fatisfied with (bik ing out thole words, and inserting no other, but if any other were to be introduced he should prefer those in the conditution, viz. " according to their refpeftive utimieri." He was free to acknowledge that he fttould not vote for the proposition, even if the amendment, which he advocated, was carried, for he could never conf#nt to resort to dired taxes upon lands and hcufes, until the less exceptionable, less unequal, and less opprefiive means of raising revenue by indued taxes were exhausted. If how erer, a majority should think different from him, and carry the resolution for the adoption of a system of dired taxation, ke should think it his duty to move for a new census to be taken previVnfly to the apportionment. This ought not ta he rtfufed, if to equalize the public burthens was an objciS just and defirabie. for if the lait enumeration of inhab itants was to be adopted as the rule, every member upon that ft <>r mult be fendble that New-Jersey mult be rated an J taxed very far above her just proportion, and that a farmer in Lis date mult con tribute at lead fifty per cent, more than a farmer of the fame polTeffions and property in either of the adjoining dates. Sttcb, Mr. Dayfon said, had been the Cffinfe of emigration, and such the Ihifting of population from one state to another, that a census taken seven years ago, would furnilh a very falfe edimate of the prefientdate of wealth and popula tion. WhiJll emigrations had been gointj on for years pall from New Jeifey in all dircAinns, many of the other dates had received valf accefliotts of numbers, which ought to be ascertained by a new enumeration, before they commenced their as yet unexerciled power of dired taxation which profclies to found its apportionment upon numbers only. He did not at all concnr with the gentleman frot# Virginia, who had said that the apportionment of representatives mud neceffatily precede the appor tior;ment of taxes under every new ienfus, for they might fay with as much propriety that the repre sentation under the new fhnuld not appropriate mon ies raised under the old apportionment. Mr. Swift said he did not thi,*k the prelent a debate about words;~arrd hot cifTlTUrtance, as it had been aflerted. His intention was to introduce the vvofds " according to their numbers," instead of " acco: ding to the lad census." He did not wi(h the House to decide that the apportionment (honld be made agreeably t» the lad cei.fus. He wilhed to leave the refolutien open in that refpefl. If his amendment took place, it would nnt preclude the use of the lad census ; but if the resolution pafled in its present form, it excluded all idea of a i.ew ceu fus. He, therefore, thought the amendment im portant, and he was sorry to hear gentlemen charge him with improper motives in bringing it forward. Mr. Swift referred to the words of the conftitu tioa, relative to the taking of a census, and laying dired taxes. From these word?, he said, Reprtfen tation and Taxation mud go together, and that a census could not betaken for the purpose of the latter, without having effect upon the former also. Admitting that a census could not be taken for the purpose of a dired tax, it could be taken for both purposes ; and he would much rather it ftioutd be so taken, than that the tax ihould belaid according to the lait census. Nor did he think this would occasion much delay. It would appear, bt* laid, as if fothe gentl.-rntn thought that a dired tax could be collected as soon as determined upon. This could not be. They mud pass a general law, direding the principle of valuation to be adopted. The butinefs could not be accsmplifhed before the next session, however great the want cf money might be j and the mode he proposed would the bulinefs as soon as if the apportionment, was a' this time made. He thought this a fufficient rca fon for wilhipg his amendment to pass. No g' l1 * .tleman had said, that it would be either fair or hon ed, to make an apportionment aceoiding to the present census. The date which he reprefw'. when compared with the date of New-York, vouid be greatly injured ; and ought they not, he to have recourse xr> fume mcsfure, hv which.- o prevent this injury ! He thmiglrf they ought. thi9 amendment was adopted, and a new ceolui
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