Aa American Miner In Australia*
W had dug our shaft at the liasc of a
ten-font hill at McAllister's store, and had
striven a tunnei right through into the hill,
followiusr a lodge that yielded some rich
washing The drive was very narrow, liv
ing only large cooogh to give admission to
om man. 1 dmnadcd the shaft one morn
ing *nd entered the tunnel, .lust as i was
•IVHII t<> drive in ray pick a monstrous snake
rose up in frmit of me; 1M had denrended
the siiaft during tin mght, and worked his
way into the end of the drive, 15y the
light of ray candle 1 saw it was a Mack
snake, one of the roost vcaotaoos of Aus
tralian reptiles. 1 saw he was altoul to
strike, and so I drew hark, hat in the act
strn.'k nr hind against the toof of the drive,
hitlinr inysell Mich a srverr Mow that for a
romn'Mt i hst rav senses, and falling, 1
ov'Tturmsl the light and felt myself in total
darkness Something seemed to whiz over
tin as half stupidly 1 trie*! to raise myself
to a sitting posture. 1 aiustst (bricked w it li
terror, hut the instinct of self-preservation
kept me silent. 1 lay for some time listen
ing. and IeJing certain that 1 had not lieen
lntten. I became possessed of an irresistible
l< uurinc t< gvt out of the lMle. 1 crawled
to the mouth of the drift and there, at the
iMUom of the shaft 1 saw his soakeship
Muumring and tvris.ing himself about. He
had strtxfc for me, hot on my falling bank
*:a4 missed me and went over me; then
fmnhflfchr being somewhat frightened him
■bit, he hat nought the numth of the drift
to mail r his escape. But he could *<a climb
the abaft, although he was making every
efUht tmiOu no. lat once saw Unit 1 could
Of the hole without bringing on
a vorifiw* between the snake and myself. 1
shiMtcd up to Bil to he ready to hoist when
1 gwe him the signal, explaining as well
as 1 eraiM the dangerous predicament 1 was
in 'below. To my shout lug 1 received raj
T ply, concluded thai Bill bad lett the
nuafiiaf the chaft. prohaMy to exchange
n ratng aaiutainms the men in the ad
j *mh claim, or to indulge in a friendly
pipe with ibem. not supposing i would re
ooin his aaaataace so quickly. 1 saw that
the on'y course open to roe was to disable
Hm n*k< if possible. and then to make my
escape from the shaft in the lest nay that
1 could. Having iu*<k this resotvi 1 emerg
ed fmm the drift. pick in hand and made
a T .he for the snakt kfive h* had time to
Tkud m lofiunatc stroke. The pick
raflem: his tark and broke las spine. He
jvnrcric at to reach me. I seized the
m$M. and ia a few udnuu-s goi out ot the
h ie. Mv fine hnpn'se mas to throw mv
seX on my knee*. a:.i offer a prayer of
tiwtnlc* for my wtarmeKwis esra|K*. Then 1
oa ed R He descended the shaft and
soreredec in passing a switch hcaeaih the
be'.y c* tin ;ak< at the point wucre the
spine was !roken; then he tied ih • two
**ods i 4 the sw itch togvda r. and we hoisted
the rejaile to the mtface. He measured
nine iert lour luetics. He itad given such
& KftiWe sew that 1 resolved tobercveng-
i W> him. and mas for cutting off his
ij.wd a: .moe. but a party of minors m ho had
gathered around us begged that he might
be laid •cross an ant-hill 1 told them they
might dispose of him as they pleased. Tliey
earned bin. to an adjvMtritur ant-hill and laid
aim across h ; the SPINE Iwing ln>ken, IK*
of could not escape. Tln n ensued
a fckt. The ants attacked him in force,
mad he slaughtered Jhcni by thousands, but
the* buried legion after kgnm upn him,
and ia less lltu two hours all thai remain
ed <€ the snake was a beoatifalty polished
s&efcfon. mrbich lay across the ant-hill
chwiamg in the sunshine.
A IKWlto<hl r.irtor*l.
A middle-aged woman by the name of
I swell, mrho lives in a suburb of Deadwuod
called K:ihrthtown. has earned for her
wclf during her sojourn in the hills a wide
spread reputation as a virago. Her first
capiat was only three months ago, when,
armed with a Colt's navy, she stampeded
special miners from w<rk on a quart/ mine
near her resident \ claiming the mine mar
her own. A month or six weeks later of
ficers of the taw attempted to arrest her on
a'.-arrar.t sworn out by a mau who claimed
she had driven him from a town lot (his
property! at the point of a six-shooter, tin
beholding the officers approach she barri
caded herself in her house and refused ad
missioc to them, with a waroifcg that if
they attempted to force the door she would
shorn them down. The officers tried per
suasion. strategy, and every means but
f**ee, but she remained obdurate through
out. standing at the window with two 44-
e*:itire revolvers, one in each hand, pre
pared. as she said. for business, it they
abouM attempt force Tlie officers return
ed to the J. I*. "s office, and held a council
<4 mar mith the J. P., and they came to
the conclusion thai the facts in the
case did not warrant tbcm in using force,
and in fact tin y didn't want to arrest her.
This was victory Xa 2 for the madam. A
few days ago a Mr. Johnson purchased,
with a full knowledge of the woman's claim
Iberam. the t'urn kg from which she had
already driven <WK* man at the point of the
pistol. It seems Johnson had averred his
willingness for a scrimmage with her, and
iiragged of his ability to clean IKT out.
Recently Johnson proceeded to the prem
ises. and commenced tearing down the
fencing that the woman hail put up. The
old lady was promptly on hamL, ami order
ed him to desist. A short and heated dis
cussion ensued, at the conclusion of which
both reached f<*r the*ir revolvers. Tlie
madam, being the quicker, secured the
44 drop," and 1 icing only a few feet from
her antagonist, she aimed for his vital paits.
Johnson mas puiiing his revolver from his
left side with his right hand, which covered
the pdt of his stomach, mlien the female
fired. The liall fortunately struck the
lower part erf the knuckle of the little fin
ger, tearing through the flesh and coming
aml at the wrist joint, perforating his shirt,
and making a circuit of his right side. The
woman retreated in good fader to her bar
ricaded castle, evidently under the impres
sion thai she had done good work. John
son. however, succeeded in petting liis pis
tol extricated, and sent two shots after his
enemy, one of them whizzing close
to her head as si# disappeared through tlie
doer. Warrants have been issued for the ar
rest erf hodi parties concerned in the fracas.
Initial* on Frmt.
Did you ever see a name printed on a
gnawing apple, pear or peach? No I Well,
if you. wish to have that pleasure, this is
the war to obtain it: While the fruit yet
green upon the tree, make up your
■dud which is the very biggest and most
promising specimen of all. Next, cut out
from thin tough paper the initials of the
name of your little brother or water CM- chief
crony, with round specks for the dots after
the letters. ffhd the letters themselves plain
and thick. Then paste these letters and
an that aide of the apple which is most
turned to the sun. taking care not to loosen
the fruits bold upon iisstem. As soon as
the apple is ripe, take off tlie paper cuttings,
■which, having shut out the reddening rays
of the fip, have kept the fruit green just
beneath ffhrm, ao that the name or initials
mam dww plainly. After that bring the
owner of the intials to play new the tree,
and say presently; "Why, what are those
JUMI marks on that apple up there ?" You
will find this quite a pleasant way to sur
prise the little ones, and, of course, you
can print a shod pet name as easily as ini-
Htlk
HUMOROUS.
Ax English writer has been sharply
criticising the management of the Lon
don public schools, known as the
♦'Board schools," and produces the fol
lowing specimens of the written exam
inations of some of t he scholars:
"Where is Turin ?"
'•Sureen is the capital of t'hineer;
the people there lives on birds nests
and his long tails."
"What do you know of the patriarch
Abraham.'*
"lie was the father of Lot and had
e.v wives, wun was called lilshmale
and the t'otner liaygur. He kept wun
at home and he turned the t'other into
the desert, where she became a pillar
os salt in the day time and a pillar os
lire at nile."
IT is one of the wooded streams of
Maine. A summering papa lay tlsli
ing, in company with his two boys. A
magnificent silver eel, having fooled
around the bait, was nimbly landed,
and its mortal coil shuttled off without
unnecessary ceremony, The father
had resumed li is occupation, when one
of the youngsters, noticing the spas
madic action of the stripped eel, called
out excitedly ; "Look, father! Look at
the boast! He's making believe he's
alive!"
A ROMHO in this city, one night last
week, went to swrcuade his best girl,
choosing a selection from t 'l'lnafore"
as ;ui open!tig piece, in a voice trem
bling with emotion and a tendency to
split on the high tones, he began :
"Farewell iui-1 love, light of m ,"
when a four-pound brick wafted
through lite midnight air from the old
man's bed-room, lodged in the very vi
tals of his guitar, and the concert stood
adjourned.
A YORK SHIRK trainer lately revealed
Ins method of meeting a conjugal storm.
His plan, he said, was to keep silent
and nod his acquiescence to everthing
iro—matter what-said bj' his spoOse
** Yes," remarked one of his friends;
"but then she has it all her own way."
"dust so.*' replied the Tyke, with sat
isfaction; and nothing annoys her
so much. "There is nothing women
hate like a walk over."
TEACHER: "NOW boys, quadruped
and biped, you know, are two kinds of
animals. Quadruped, animals with
tour legs, such as cow, elephant, horse,
etc. Biped, animal with two legs,
such as—well, ah, . Yes there is a
biped"— (H>in ting to a picture of a
goose on the wall—"and 1 am a biped,
and you all are bipeds. Now what am
I?"* Pause. One of the bipods: "A
goose, sir."
"EDWARD," said Mr. Rice, "What do
i hear?—that you have disobeyed your
grandmother, who told you just now
not loiumpdown thesesteps?" Grand
ma didn't tell us not to, pa; she only
came to the door and said. 1 wouldn't
jump down these, steps' boys,' and
1 shouldn't tbiiik she would an old
ladv like her!"
AK auctioneer was endeavoring to
sell a fowling-piece, and failing to get
a hid, a by-slander who had read tlie
papers said, "lllow in the muzzle and
it will go off."
"Tnrs do we burn the midnight
toil," said the facetious editor as he
consigned old Mumblcpeg's manuscript
to the fire.
THE King ot the Fiji islands is said
to relish "Baby Mine" very much. He
likes it well done, too.
A WYOMING man won $lO in a wager
by eating twenty pigs' feet. This was
a pig's feat, Indeed.
A WHITEHALL justice is called "Old
Perfumery" by the boys, because he
has sent 'em up so often.
♦
A FURNITURE dealer advertises that
he is putting cane seats in old ehairs at
"bottom prices."
THE difference between fair ladies
and ladies' is—the forraor beseige men's
hearts, the latter their pockets.
No Indian was ever known to play
on abrass horn. Hence Pope's allusion
to his "untootered mind."
MY son emulate tlie nine; it is hack
ward in deeds in deeds of violence.
Why do old maids wear mittens! —To
keep off tlie cliaps.
STANDS to reason -A woman
Eugenie'* Wi-allli.
The ex-empress of France is said to lie
one of the richest widows in England. In
addition to her Hungarian estate she has a
castle in Spain and a nice place in Switzer
land But hard cash is what coincs most
useful to dethroned sovereigns who hope to
return, and of this the empress has long
had abundance. It is estimated in Paris
that she is worth at least a million sterling.
Only recently she sold a large block of
house property in the Rue d'Alba, in Paris,
and M. Uouher's house, a well-known po
litical centre at the corner of the Hue
d'Elysee, was hers, in her own right, and
was sold last year for £15,000. The death
of the prince adds to her property, since he
left to her a considerable amount of landed
property in Italy, as well as the Toulouse
property, bequeathed to him by tlie grisly
general who had been equerry to the prince
when he toddled about the corridors of the
Tuileries nearly three feet high and weight
ed with the miniature uniform of a colonel
in the cent garde. This vast property was
no incumbrance to the empress whilst yet
she had a son to live and scheme for. It
was drained pretty freely by tlie Bonapar
tist organs of the press in France. The
Ordrc and the Paj/s were lavishly sup
ported by the empress, and she also drew
handsome checks in favor of the reduction
of the Gaulois. The need for keeping
these fires warm is now dead. The empress
is not likelv to keep newspapers alive to
work for her good cousin Jerome.
Checked In Their Advance
By the speedy action of Hoatetter's Bitters,
dyspepsia, nervous irdisposition, constipation
and bilious comp'aints cease to harass tbo in
valid. That they will instantly give ground is
not pretended, but no medical fact is more
certain, or avouched by more competent testi
mony, than that these maladies, and others
to which it is adapted, entirely succumb to
the influence of the medicine, if it be given a
fair trial. Their total, if not instant rout, is
certain to ensue. Losses of strength are re
paired, and failure of appetite and nerve qui
etude are remedied by the Bitters; and as the
stomach grows stronger and assimilation is
aided by its action, a gain in flesh will follow.
Ladies in delicate health, aged persons and
convalescents, derive bodily and mental solace
from its use, and experieuce none of the re
pugnance which ordinary tonics frequently in
spire. The emphatic recommendation of phy
sicians confirms the v<. rdict in its favor.
—The traffic in eggs in this country
is estimated to equal $2000,000 per an
num; G,000,000 dozens are exported
from the country every year.
DOMESTIC.
DOMESTIC NURSING. —Nothing Is
more easy to an experienced nurse or
more difficult to an Inexperienced
one than to chance the bed linen with
a person in bed. Everything that will
he required must be at hand, properly
aired, before beginning. Move the pa
tient as far as possible to one side of
the bed, and remove all but one pillow.
Untuck tin* lower sheet and cross sheet
and push ihcui toward the middle of
the bed. Have a sheet, ready folded or
rolled the 1c ig way, and lay it on the
mattress, unfolding it enough to tuck
It in at the side. Have the cross sheet
prepared as described before and roll
it also, laying it over the under one
and tucking It in, keeping the unusual
portion of both still rolled. Move the
patient over to the side thus prepared
for him; the sidled sheets can then be
drawn away, the clean ones completely
unrolled and lucked in on the other
side. The coverings need not be re
moved while this is being done; they
can lie pulled out from the foot of the
bedste .d and kept wrapped around the
patient. To change the upper sheet
take oil the spread and lay the clean
sheet over the blankets, securing the
upper edge of the bed with a couple of
pins; standing at the foot draw out the
blankets aud soiled sheets, replace the
former put on the spread. Lastly,
change the pillow-cases.
BKKF-TKA WITHOUT HEAT. — Take
one-third of a pound til fresh beef, mut
ton, poultry or game, in i need very tine;
place it in 14 ounces of soft cold water,
to which has been added a pinch, or
about IS grains, of table salt aud three
or four dreus of muriatic aeid; stir all
with a wooden spoon, and set it aside
for one hour, stirring it .occasionally ;
then strain it through a gauze or eeive,
and wash the residue left on the solve
by means of live additional ounces of
cold soft water, pressing it. so (hat aU
the soluble matter will he removed
from the residue; mix the two strain
ings, and-the extract is ready for use.
It should be drank freely every two or
three hours.
BKAUTIFIKRS.—I.adies, you can no l
make fair skin, rosy cheeks and spark
ling eyes with all the cosmetics ot
France, or beautiflers of the world,
while in poor health, and nothing will
give you such strength, buoyant spirits
and beauty as Hop Hitters. A trial is
certain proof. See another column.
FIRST RATE COFFEE. —Take ACO lloe cup
of the best Java coffee, browned to the
color of chocolate (not scorched) ground
not too line aud mix with halt an egg.
Put this into a coffee-pot or boiler
(which is as ch an as the cup you drink
from), and pour over it one quart of
boiling water, stirring as you put the
water in; boil slowly for 15 minutes,
then stand the boiler on the back of
the range for ten minutes to settle;
turn all coffee off from the grounds at
once into an urn or coffee-pot that can
stand upon the stove to krep Hot. Cof
fee loses the flavor by standing on the
grounds longer than Italian hour, and
should be very hot to be good. Put
into the cup a teaspoo.iful of "Ameri
can condensed milk" and some boiled
milk, and turn tiic coffee into it. No
French coffee is any better.
BAKED TOMATOES. —ScaId the toma
toes, peel them carefully, so as not to
break them, and lay them into a deep
dish; seaso.i wi h salt and pepper and
spread a teacup.ul of cracker crumbs
over the top; cover the dish lightly,
and bake in a quick oven from an hour
to an hour and a half; jnst before tak
ing iroui the oven add a few bits of
butte-. Slip the tomatoes out carefully,
the brown side up, or serve them in
the baking dish. Or, season bread
crumbs very highly with pepper, salt,
grated onion, sugar and butter; peel,
take out the core from the tomatoes
and press some of this dressing in the
centre of every toinatoe and stew over
them a light coating of the same. Bake
slowly. <
WORTH LESS STUFF!— Not so fast my
friend; if you could see the strong,
healthy, blooming men, women and
children that have been raised from
beds of sickness, suffering and almost
death, by the use of Hop Bitters, you
would say "Glorious and invaluable
reinedj'." See another column.
To VENTILATE A ROOM. —To venti
late a room without draught, make a
hole through the wall to the outer air.
in a corner of the room just above the
skirting. Through the hole put one
arm of the tube three inches in diam
eter. and bent at right angles. The
arm of the tube reaching to the outer
air should be in length equal to the
thickness of the wall, and the other
arm should be two feet long, standing
vertically in the corner of the room;
If desired, it can be covered with paper
of the same pattern as that 011 the wall.
A tube of the diameter given above is
sufficient to ventilate a room of moder
ate size.
IF you have a Sick Headache take a
dose of I)r. Bull's Baltimore Pills; we
know joti will find relief.
To REMOVE FRECKLES. Scrape
horseradish into a cup of cold sour
milk; let it stand twelve hours; strain,
and apply two or three times a day. Or,
mixlemon juice, one ounee; pulver
iz.ed borax, one-quarter drachm; su
gar one-half drachm keep a few days
in a glass bottle, then apply occasion
ally.
REMEDY FOR FRFCKLFS. —The follow
ing remedy has been found efficacious
iu Europe for freckles: Finely pow
dered sulpho-phcnate of zinc, one
part; oil of lemon, one part; pure alco
hol, five parts; collodion, forty-five
parts. To be mixed well together by
trituration and applied to the skin.
PERFUME FROM HOSES. —Tincture of
Roses—Take the leaves of the common
rose, place them, without pressing, in
a large-mouthed bottle; pour some
good spirits of wine over them, seal
the bottle securely, and let them re
main in a dry place for a month or
two.
Starving to Heath.
Thousands of men and women are
starving themselves to death. They
dare not eat this or that, fearing it will
increase tlieir flesh. Life depends
upon continuous self-denial. The only
safe and reliable remedy for this terri
ble condition is Allan's Anti-Fat. it
is wholly vegetable and perfectly harm
less. Its use insures a reduction of
from two to five pounds per week.
Sold by druggists.
BUFFALO, N. Y., June 13, 1878.
To the Prop'rs of Allan's Anti-Fat:
GENTLEMEN— The following report is
from the lady who used Allan's Anti-
Fat: "It (the Anti-Fat) had the de
sired effect, reducing the fat from two
to five pounds a week, until I had lost
twenty-five pounds. I hope never to
regain what I have lost."
Yours, respectfully,
POWELL & PLIMPTON,
Wholesale Druggists.
An Infallible llemrtly
No longer liko Job need the afllictod million*
cry out: "Oh, that my grief were weighed
and my calamity laid in the balance! Ye aro
forgers of lice; ye are all physicians of no
value." For an "absolutely safe, reliable and
certain ci ire for I'iles, the most exasperating,
pain/ul of all dist asos, lui* 'am fouwl by Dr.
Nilsi Half a million of sufferer* with piles
lestifv t<> the virtues of Auakesis. Physicians
of all schools endorse it and prescribe it;
500.000 persons have used it in all stages and
varieties of piles, and none without bonetU.
It lias been pronounced the "happiest medi
cal discovery of tho ago." ami Dr. Kilsheo, an
experienced and soientiile M. D. of 40 years"
practice, "a benefactor tohis race." No rem
edy so simple and yet so infallible as Antikesis
for Piles has been discovered. It is a happy
combination >f the soothing poultice of tue
English the instrument of the French,and tho
curative medication of toe American surgeons.
It affords immediate relief troui th < uiost ex
cruciating pain, holds up tho painful tumors,
and ultiinat Iv cures the worst eases of Piles.
Samples of "AHA Kiwis" are scut /rw to nil
sufferer* on ap tu-aiion to the sols manufac
turers, Mo.-sr*. I*. Neitstaednr V Co., ]3ox
SIUC New York. Also, sold by druggists every
whore. Price SI.OO per l*x
I I.L HEALTH ON TIIK FARM. —In the
first place, all formers should look well
to their collars. In too many of tlieui
will be found rotten apples, cabbages,
lurulps, onions, &u. In sonio will be
found old brine, with pieces of decay
ed meat, sending forth tin odor, when
the cover of the barrel is taken ofl, vile
enough to wrench the stomach ofa pig.
In others there will be musty cider bar
rels, possibly vinegar casks, in which
the vinegar has passed oil to the pictre
factive stage, disseminating tho spores
of decay and death, not only through
the upper part of the house, but even
escaping through the cellar windows
and polluting the outdoor air. Decay
ing wood generates oue of the mostsub
tle of poisons, because the odor Is not
particularly offensive. ltotten limbers
in the cellar and mouldy wood or chips
in the woodhouse till the air.with spores
which breathed by a person iti the lull
vigor of health may be thrown ofl* with
impunity but inhaled by one whose
blood is low may find a congenial seed
bed and generate disease. Under the
cider and vinegar barrels, and potato
bins, may be found old timbers and
boards that are full of dry rot, ready to
propagate itself wherever the rotten
particles may liiul a lodgment. In the
well, rotten wood Is a subtle poison,
more dangerous than a decomposing
toad, as the latter makes its presence
known, while few tasies are so keen as
to detect the presence of decaying wood,
l'robably the most prolific source of di
sease around the farmhouse is the cess
pool into which pass the kitchen and
chamber slips. In the cities and large
villages these are carried ofl* in the
sewers, but seldom does a farmhouse
have any system of sewerage. The
slops are too often thrown out of the
kitchen door, and left to generate vile
odors on the surface ot the ground. To
keep the air of the cellar and around the
house sweet and pure, we have never
found anything more economical, pleas
ant and efficacious than a free sprink
ling, as occasion may demand, ot dry
air-slackcd lime. Chloride of lime is a
greater absorbent of vile odors, but this
is itself offensive to most olfactory
nerves, and is also quite expensive.
Common lime is cheap, and if scattered
ireely in the cellar and wherever there
are impurities, will render the sir sweet
and wholesome,even IU ihe most decom
posing dog-days.
BABY .-hoivsaio the fashion now,but as
long as mothers continue to nurse their
little cues with laudauum or other opi
ates, the}- canuot expect their Babies to
look bright. If your Baby needs med
icine get a good and harmless one such
as Dr. Bull's Baby Syrup.
SALTING STOCK. —One of the most
important things to attend to in the
care ot farm stock of every kind, is that
they have access at all times to salt.
In this connection we would again call
attention lo the practice in vogue with
many farmers, in that they salt irre
gularly, and at such times with too li
beral a hand Thus animals will gorge
themselves, and this often results in
severe purging. Again, when salt is
thrown about on theground to be licked
up, the larger animals get more ihan
they should, and the smaller ones little
or none. Besides, injury to weak ani
mals is often the result ol this strug
gle. The proper way to salt stock is
to have salt placed under cover, where
they may get it every day If they wish,
in this way they take just what they
want and no more, and while eating
what is neeessary for them, they never
take enough to do them injury. Thus
cattle will seldom take more than an
ordinary tahlespoonful per day, and
this is about what they require in sum
mer as an aid to proper digestion.
SAND ton STABLES. —F r the past two
years 1 have used considerable sand to
good advantage, both to my crops and
land, as an absorbent. For this pur
pose I constructed on the back side of
the stable two boxes, one at each end of
the stable, about live feet in width, ten
feet in length and six in height, lilling
them through the summer and fall with
dry sand using it with little trouble or
labor for the cows through the winter.
The use of sand keeps the stable dry
and sweet, and also absorbs most of the
liquid manure, Hand also cuts the man
ure, sothat it lsmor' 1 easily worked and
spread. 1 had betore used sand to some
extent; but, having no convenient
place to store it when dry, could not
use it in winter. I have also lound
sand excellent for mixing in the hog
pen, making the manure line. I have
used such manure to advantage for pota
toes in the hill, as well as for corn."
OXK trial of Dobbins' Electric Soap,
(made by Crag in & Co., Philadelphia,
Pa.,) will satisfy the most doubting, of
its great merit. Pure and white as
•now. Try it. Make your grocer get
it.
His Prejudice.
When Dennis Ttnn first began to pan out
largely oleaginously, Tidioute did not con
tain within her limits an undertaker, hut
did an old resident, well known for his
eccentricities, among winch was intense
In trcd of secret societies. It so happened
that when the great death took place on the
run, this party and a friend were walking
upon the street and were the first persons
encountered by the messenger, a stranger to
both, sent to town for a coffin. The fol
lowing colloquy ensued:
Messenger—"Can you tell mc where I
can find and undertaker?"
Eccentric individual —"That depends 011
what you want to undertake.''
M.—"A man has just died up the run
and 1 want a coflin."
E. I.—"O! Mike Lynch can make you
one; there's his carpenter shop across the
street."
No sooner had the messenger departed
thanE. I: turned to liis friend, saying with
much excitement: "Billy, watch that fel
ler; he don't want any cotlin; that'sablind.
Undertaker is one of them secret society
pass words; watch him Billy, watch him.''
I* YOUR THROAT FKKLS SORK or uncomfortable
use promptly or. Jayne's Expectorant, it will
relieve the air-passages of all phlegm or mu
cus, allay Inflammation, and so give the af
fected parts a chance to heal. No safer remedy
can be had for all Coughs and Colds, or any
complaint of tne Throat or Lungs, and a brief
trial will prove Its efficacy.
Ir You Would Enjoy flood lloalth Tako
Uooftand'* German Hitter a.
I YOUR Llvor is Disorders IJooflaruVs Ger
man Hitter* will set it aright
FOR I 'IMPLIES on Mie Face, use mmkrWn Tet-
Ur Ointment. It novor fails to remove thorn.
MAN* persons liavo U bud headache every
few days. It can be stopped in one hour by
Dr. DAY'S OURK KOH HKADACUK. Ask your
druggist, or it will l>o sent by mail on recoipt
of price—Fifty cents. D. 13. DAY, ltidgway,
Pennsylvania.
IK TKOUIILKD with (Jonstipation, take UooJ
ami's German liitter*.
IK Yon aro Dyspoptio Hooflaiui'* German
Hitter* will euro you.
Ihe*kell' Tetter Otniment Will cure every
form of Tetter.
Oakland Female Institute.
NORRISTOWN. PA.
WINTER TERM WILL COMMENCE SEPTEM
BER , 1870. For circular! add re*.
J. CHI Kit liALSTON, Principal.
S. M. PETTENGILL & CO.,
A DVEKTIMINO AUENII,
37 Park Row, Mew York, 701 ('beat
it m Street, i'bllatlelpblia. Pa.
The Singing Class Season.
Jiißt out. The Temple. , oop., d„.™>
A. •pl. IIIB.T new NniMng School, Convention and
I hoir Hook, by L)r. W. O. Perkins. As a Olioir
Iliiiia , II1 to NNR of the LATPE*' nnis. AN a alneftiß
School hook, BETTER lhau the cheaper and mealier
one*, niece It hit ninrli more mimic; thai in , IS'
tiuirctl of new Koiifc'! and Ch en, and 188 pagoa ol Ihe
bel METRICAL TUNES and ANTHEMS. Bp D
uien cupie* mailed, poet free, for SI.OO.
Remember alio TIIK VOICE OF WORSHIP,
• $9.00 per ilwiil, RECENTLY ADVERT ED ; Johnnie a
MEW MCIIMMI tor Hlnclii( (Tnaars, an excel
ltiHi book. ( uu pr d"Xii). Ho&iti lor impute
Catalogue*, or Circular*.
Joet ont. MTK7DENTDT LIFE IN NONU.
( *' 10' with liitr.xluci ion BY CHARLOH Dudley Waruer.
L)5ol I lie lolliegi ot College Soiif*. A capital book
lor eocial ALNITING.
VOICE AM A MISICAL
INFTTKT MI.MT, by C. 11 H. Davie, M D.|B7c.)
Aii i u \ u i Uit Li Jo (iciitiMi* fn t!i* construction and man
agemeinof the Vocal Or Kane. WIIH plate*.
THE LA.t number of Til E MUSICAL
KM'UKII, SEND 6C- nt lor one number, 91.G0 fir
the year. " W ouldn't be with ut it lor ve time, THE
price."
Oliver Ditson & Co, Boston.
jr. K. NITNON Jk CO..
tnt Clietinnl ftC. Phi la.
Pianos and Organs
a,l\ ;.n-E In mice*. I'U*.F 140 to 94*1 ; S-A'l.p or
gan, FFIT!), all N *R.clas, -ENT .>■, trial. I ntalo,;ue*
tree. S;,EET Mimic. H PR'FE. lMlar'* worth, H
CF.ee . ataloaue of 1 <* PIECE* aso' fr .V. .tamp
MKNDLEMOHW PIANO Co., 21 K. IFTIHN., N. V.
AGENTS, READ THIS I .
W will pay Aireot* a aatary of f lie per month aad
rjpon' . or HIIOW a largo comminaion, to Mil our
Now and Wondarf-ol firvntion*. W mean what
Hamplo froe. Addrm*
bUKKMAN A CO.. Marahall, Mich.
CA Hadhdaa. iat m Drlalu)
■ora, ircnu, UARVULUI
DANDELION,
An rm Tvwmrt An Burr Mranu QMUW
OF iu OTHxa Brrrna
•rsinr fini^•
All DtaaaaM of tta Stomach, BovataJßtoaA, Uwar,
Kldaeym, and Urinary Organ a, NcrrmmnM. fllaiag
Mmnu aad aapaetaQy mala Coaagiatata.
JpVUI ha paid for a oaaa Oieywm oot can or ftotp,
■Tor anything Impose ar lnjtxrloa* fmnd ta rtiaa
I Aak rcmr drngglat far Boy Bitter# aad try thaao
Epafora yon alaap. Tahaaaathaa
fetor Cloven Cvnlithe mat aafaat aad, hat
. Ait Children
|The Bar Par far Bt oanaeh, liwar aad XMagi ft
•a parlor ta all opart. At Dragglato
b. LC. fa aa aftaotata aad trradarfhaa eara M
|Draahaanaa. oaa of apt am, WUM aaTaaaotte
MB— head for eftoolar. BBBBi
fflinnn REWARD i&sr
LI 111111
"1111111 l Remedy fmjUuocure. Girua
■ immediate relief, noma -una
1111111 l of long .landing in 1 weak.
wrapper hat printed on it in black a Pile of Sttmae and
l>r. J. P. Milfer't npnatnre, rhila. ft I a bottle. Sold
by alldrtiMuU. Sunt by mail by J. P. M. D.,
Vropr., S. W. oor. leutb and Arab SU., Pkilada. .Pa.
UUri |.Aj|CCD ,Jur> *■guarautoedto be the
if'oLL NUULrII cheepeat and beat In the
jo., aiaw iwuuiig cau boat our SAMING MA
tnlAa. It aawa oil a x-tuo t log fti 'j minutes.
Pictorial books free. \V. GILES. Chlougo, 111.
ffJTJ I{l —Cboloeat ta the world—lmport era'
I f.QX prices— Largaat Company ta America
A AJAAUI —atapla article—pleaaea ererybody-
Trade continaalty increasing—Agents wanted every
whare—beat inducements—don't weete time—tend for
circular.
KOI'T W ILLS, if Teaay at., H.T. P. O. Box ISR7.
"""TO ADVERTISERS.^*
IP" We will ftirnieli on npplleatlon,
estimate* for Advertising In ibe beet
and largest circulated Newspapers in
the United States and Canada*. Oar
facilities are a nan r passed. We malte
oar Customers* Interests oar own, and
study to please and malte their Ad>
vertlelng profitable to them, as thou
sands who have tried as can testify.
Call or sftdreas,
ft. H. PETTINOILL A CO.,
8T PARK ROW. New York.
TOl CHESTNUT street, PMiadelpMa.
Knpor'iis' celobratwt Single Br*ch-lodlfifr Fho
►un at sl6 up. r>oiiblp-l>arrl Breech loader* at
$AMip. Muzilx and Rreeoh-1 iitdine Gun*, Kiflo*
mid I'iatols til most approved English and American
makes. All kinda of ep irtinir implement* and urti
cl * required by *port*men and enn-mnker*.—
COLT'S NWW BllKK' 11-LOAIUNG DOUBLK
OCNS at $.lO up—the beat gun* yt road* lor tha
price. Price on application.
JOS. C. GRUBB & CO.,
712 Market St., Philada., Pa.
126
EXODUS
To the bast lands, In the bast climate, with the bast
markets, and on the best terms, along tha Una of H'y.
3,000,000 ACRES
Mainly In tha Famous
RED RIVER VALLEY OFTHE NORTH.
On long time, low prices and easy payments.
Pamphlet with full Information mailed free. Apply te
D. A. McKINLAY, Land Com'r,
gLP.X.AE.K'y. gt-PaaLMlam.
LANDBETES'SEEDS
ARE THE BEST.
D. LANDRETH & SON 8, 21 & 23 S. SIXTH Street
LPHIA.
firiffTQ' BEND POSTAL FOR PRICE
A-'AI A ° I List and Instruction fo
PIJIE I Self-Measurement, to
rnnrr C F - BARTLETT,
NHIIKN I 29 South NINTH Street,
J Philadelphia, Pa.
THE RECORD,
OF PHILADELPHIA,
tiieciikapkmt daily iniirpendekt
NIIWNIMI'IH IN TUB
UNITED STATES. . r
32 COLUMN* IOR OIVKCm.
The lu* of SATURDAY contain* 6! column*
ASSOCIATED PRESS NEWS
„ FROM ALL PARTS OF THE WORLD.
Complete aid Accurate Marie! Reports.
ITS QKN RRAL NEWS AND ENTERPRISING
BPKCIALITIKS MAKE IT A VALUABLE
PAPER FOR ANY LOCALITY.
Price, BS.oo a Year, Free of Postage.
BKNT ON TRIAL ONE MONTH FOB
25 CENTS.
Th* Doebl* Shoot (Kiglit-Pagn) Saturday tnirrtbor
will bo sent froo .f puainu.- to any inl.tr.,* for Si 00 s
year, *ml contain*, bojilm tlia now* of tli* diir,
nii*"ol lsiioou* reading maitsrofan im stealing char
acter,
PRESENT CIRCULATION AVESAUKS
fti.uw DAILY.
P*ctwu Copies HKNT FREE to my Addr***
THE RECORD,
PHILADELPHIA.
When Trade is Dull, Judicious
Advertising Sharpens It.
HOW TO ADVERTISE.
*** 868 rFTTKiIwILL
WHEN TO ADVERTISE
8< e T-TTENHILL.
WHERE TO ADVERTISE.
W Hee PETTESbILL
WHOM TO ADVERTISE THROUGH.
tr
Q.Q TO 37 PARK ROW, NEW YORK, and
AT Sj^ETTESGILL
18TABLISHKD IMS.
MORGAN & HEADLI,
Importers of Diamonds
AND
SaMfictirers of Spectada.
•13 GAM MOM • trees, Fhllsdelpbla
Illustrated Price List seat ts the toads
es appltoatton.
RAWLINS' WHRT niILADKLPHIA ACAD
KM V. AO9 S. 42nd *tr(. West Philadelphia, Pa.,
a Select <'U**ioal Boarding fccho 1, will reopen Sep
tombor 22. Honor* of 7: ,at La-
Uyott* Collegei Honorary Oration, at I'rinoetpu.
J. M. KAWLINB. A M.:
Principal.
C AGENTS WANTED T T FORTES
OMPLETE JrloME
MRS. JULIA McNAJR WJUGJJ ISMKWBOOK.
Th- Moral*. Haalth. B-auty, Uork, Anui*em>*nU,
M -tnl>er*, M'iney. Bav mr* and Sp*ndlnga ar* all
clearly d>-nlt with In fhaelnttaK alyle, full of
aaeedot* md wit. W itn beautiful colored lllu*-
tratnina, uw ty|>, toned pan r. rWolre binding*,
and low orlee.thW work t* HOITNOTO HAVE
AN IXNE.NSE SALE. No book like it ha* aver
been pnliliaitfal
For full d ci ipi ion and extra term*, a Idrea*
J. C. MHTSny d' CO.. Phlladalpkta. fa.
GOOD ADVERTISING
CHEAP.
311 0 PA cm wlth tbe order, win insert In ll
VJAi3ll y village newspapers an aUvertlae
ment occupying one inch 6pa e, one time;
o: six does two times; or three lines tour
times.
(fon Pacti ,n advance, will insert in 330
vaou, villHge newspapers an adver
tt-emeut of one I nch spa< e. one tune; or six
lines two times; or three lines tour times
Address
S. M. PETTENGILL & CO.,
37 Park Row* New York,
Or, 701 Chestnut St. Phlla.
Advertising don - In nil newspapers in
Um.ed feuiies and Canaaas at the lowest rates.
BLITCHLEY'S PUMPS
1TH ft VERY BEST GOODS
AT VERY LOW PRICES.
PUffPS Unllned.
PUMPS Iron Lined.
PUMPS Rnreelaln Lined.
PUMPS Copper Lined.
Chain Pump fixtures and tubing.
Rubber Buckets, Steel Chain, Ac.
C. G. BLATOHLEY •
• MARKET (Street, rill India.
WORCESTER'S
THE STANDARD.
•' The beet Kmdieili wnt--r* and the most particular
Amor can writer* use WORCESTER as their au
thority."— AVu> VorA- Hetald.
1 he standard vnile-tnerum of the correspondent and
reader.
WORCESTER'S
POCKET DICTIONARY, 63 ct.
For the School, the Office, and tha Counting-Room.
WORCESTER'S
COMPREHENSIVE DICTIONARY.
For * <le by nil Booksellers. For circulars; etc..
address
J B. LIPPINf'OTT A CO.. Philadelphia.
Q M. PETTENGILL A CO., Advertising
kja Agents. II Park Row. New York, and 701
Chtßtnut Street, Philadelphia, tecelve adver
tisements for publication In any part of the
world at lowest rates.
ADVICE as to the most Judicious advertising
and the best mediums and the manner of doing
IL—EBTI MATES for one or m re lnsenlons of
an advertisement. In any number of papers,
forwarded on application.
Ohrcmi* Pftaaar*. by a r— iaW**ig ji;**a
REMARKABLE CURES
•eifiaLTOsassa
ADVERTISEMENTS
Inserted in ANY OR ALL of the Newspapers named in their Direc
tory for O>E TIME, or for OAK YEAH, in the beet
positions, which are carefully watched, at the
LOWENT PRICES, on application to
S. M. PETTENGILL & CO.,
at either of their offices in
TV ew York, JPliilaclelpliia or Boston.
ESTIMATES MADE
For Advertisers without charge, for insertion, in a CHOICE SELEO
TION of Newspapers, or for the BEST Newspapers in
ANY City, Town, County or Section.
Advertisements in the Best Positions, at Very Reasonable Rates,
S. M. PETTENGILL & CO.
701 OlLostnut Street, Fliilada.
from tie Hipralle Thgovjfflk
INDORSING DB. BADWAY* R. R, REMEDIES
Avna mm rein fob contou* mum*
. KBW YOU. JWk. 4, IftT.
Dsab HnL-H&vWig for several yeariraaed jrfW
medicines. doubtihgly at first, but After expert
•being tbeir efficacy, with roll confidence, Itti
no less a pleasure than a duty to Uankfull|
act now ledge the advantage** hare dertfel
from them, The sills are resorted Co as oftoa
as occasion r on ires, and always with the to
stood effect. -The Ready Relief caineMie bet
ter described than It Shy Its name. We apply
the liniment frequently and freely, almost ua>
variably finding the promised "Relief."
gIS.
Rr R'
a l\i r\.
ft AD WAY'S READY RELIEF
CURES TBI WORST PAIN 3
!■ from One to SO Mtfifito*.
HOT Oil HOC! . .*>' '
artor reading this advertisement need any •■*
SUFFER WITH FAIX.
Hwdwoj'o Rowdy Relief is a Oeuro foe
ITCRT PAIR. It wu the flrat and is
The Only Pain Remedy
<hat instantly stops the moot exorootattni
Gins, allays lnflammationa and eurea Congee
ns, whether of the Lungs, Stomach, Roal*
ar other glands or organs, By one appUoatiea.
I* FROM ONI TO TWENTY MINUTES, *'
bo matter how violent or exerodsttfic the oath,
the RHEUMATIC, Bed-ridden, infirm, Gripped,
Nervous, Neuralgic, or praetratod with dSetoe
stay suffer,
HADWAT'S BEAST XET.TBV
WILL AFFORD INSTANT BAfiR
INFLAMMATION OF THEI tDNKYS,
INFLAMMATION or the bLaddbr,
INFLAMMATION OF TRB BOWELS,
CONGESTION OP TBI LUNGS,
•OKI THROAT. DIFFICULT. BREATHING, *
PALPITATION CFTHBUABT,
HY3TERICB, GROUP. DIPHTHERIA,
CATA &RiTIBFLUBMZA,
READ ACHE, TOOTHACHE
NEURALGIA, RHEUMATISM.
OOLD CHILLS, AGUE CHILLS?
The application of the Reedy Belief to ttoe
part or part* where the pain #r dlflloalty exists
will afford ease and eomlarb
Thirty to sixty drops in half a tumbler f
eater will in a tew moments curb Cramps,
Spasms, sour Stomach, Heartburn, Slot Head-
SsrshassafiMP* 1 WtoauOM
Travelers should always earry a bottle of
Badway*s Ready Relief with them. A few
Bropa in Water will prevent alekneee or palm
from change of water. It ts better than French
Brandy or Blttera as a stimulant.
FEVER mud AGUE.
Fever and Ague cured for Fifty cents. Then
to not n remedial agent In Che world that will
rare Fever and Ague, and all other Malarious,
Billons, Scarlet, Typhoid, Yellow and other
Fevete (aided by Had ware Pills) so quick en
OADWATT READY RELIEF. •• eta. a botUA
Dr. Radway's
SffljarUlß MR
fIUB CHEAT BLOOD PURIFIES,
FOE THE CUBE OF CHRONIC DISEASE, '
SCROFULA OB SYPHILITIC, HEREDITARY OB
CONTAGIOUS,
be it seated In the Langs er stomach, Skin at
Donee, Flesh or Nerves, corrupting the
solids end vitiating the fluids.
Chronic Khsnmattsm, Scrofula, Glandular
Swelling. Hacking Dry Cough, Caneerous Affao
tlona syphilitic complaints, Bleeding of the
Lungs, Dj tpepaia, Water Brash, Tie Doloraux,
White Swellings, Tumors, Ulcere, Skin and Hie
Diseases, Female Complaints, Gout, Dropsy
bait Rheum, Bronchitis, Consumption.
Liver Complaint, Ac.
Not only does the flampartmaa Resolvent
excel all remedial agents in theoureof amnio,
Scrofulous, constitutional and SJda Diseases,
but It Is the only positive euro tor
Kidney & Bladder Complaints,
Urinary and Womb Diseases, Gravel, Diabetes.
Dropsy, Stoppage of waler. Incontinence of
Urine, BrlghOs Disease. Albuminuria and In au
eases where there are brick duatdepotota,or the
water Is thick, cloudy, mixed with substances
like the white of an egg, or threadf like white
silk, or there Is a morbid, dark, billou* appear
ance and white bone-duet deposits, and when
there Is a pricking, burning sensation when
passing water, and pain In the small of the bad
and along the loins. ,
bold by druggists. PBIOB ONB DOLLAR.
OTARIAS TVMB
OF TEN YEARS' GROWTH CUBED BY DM
KADWAY 1 # REMEDIES.
Sr. KAD WAT a 00., 39 Wuraßtrnt.
m VORK.
DR RADWATS
Regulating Pills,
Perfectly tasteless, elegantly coated with sweet
gum, purge, regulate, purify, cleanse and
strengthen. Radwayb Pilfa for the cure of all
disordera of the stomach. Liver, Bowels, Sid
neys, Bladder. Nervous Diseases, Headache,
Constipation, Costlveness, Indigestion, Dyspep
sia, Biliousness, Fever, Inflammation of the
Bowels, Piles, and all derangements of the In
ternal viscera. Warranted to effect a positive
cure. Purely Vegetable, containing no men
•ury, mineral or deleterious drugs.
tar observe the following symptoms, result
ing from disorders of the Digestive organs:
constipation, Inward Piles, Fullness of (he
Blood in the Bead, Acidity of the Btomaoh,
Nausea, Heartburn, Disgust of Food. Fullne
or weight in the Stomacn, Sour Erections, Sink
ings or Flutterings In the Pit of the Stomach,
Swimming of the Head, Hurried and Difficult
Breathing, Fluttering at the Heart, Choking of
Bumcating Sensations when In a lying poeture,
Dots or Webe before the Sight, Fever end Dull
Pain in Head, Deficiency of Perspiration , Yel
lowness of Skin and Eyes, Pain In the side,
Limbs, and sudden Flushes of Heal. Burning la
the Flesh.
A few doses of KADWAY* FILLS win free
the system from all of the above named dlftiipfr
era. Price a seats par box. bole by Druggists
Read "False and True,* 9
Bend a letter stamp to RADWAY * 00* No
■ Warren street, Hew York.
Information worth thousands wiii be sent yea.
Those answering an Ad\.. will
confer a iavor upon the Advertiser and. the
Publisher bystatlng that they saw the adver
tisement in this lonrnal (naming the paper).