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MEYERS A HKNGEL.
Publishers.
Attornat ?€<nc.
JOSEPH W. TATE, ATTORNEY
•jt AT LAW. BEDFORD, PA., wilt tirtnuptly
attend to collections of bounty, back pay, Ac.,
and all business entrusted to his care in Bedford
and adjoining counties.
Cash advanced on judgments, notes, military
and other claims.
His for sale Town lots in Tatcsville, where a
uo..d Church is erected, and where a largo School
House shall be built. Farms. Land and Timber
Leave, from one acre to dot) acres to suit pur
chasers.
Office nearly opposite the "Mengel Hotel" and
Bank of Heed A Sohell.
April 6.1866—1y
MCI) SHARPS. K F. KF.RR.
DHAIIPE A- KF.RR, ATTORNEYS
AT LAW UlffOKD, PA.. will practice i:I
the courts of Bedford and adjoining counties Of
fice on Juliana st., opposite tho Banking House of
Reed A Sclicil. ( March 2. '6ti.
R. DURBORROW. | JOHN LVTZ.
nu RBOR R(> W A- LUT Z ,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW. BEDFORD, I'A.,
Will attend promptly to all business intrusted to
their earo. Collections made en the shortest no-
Thcv are. also, regularly licensed Claim Agents
and will give special attention to the prosecution
of claims against the (iorernmcnt. for Pensions,
Back Pay. Bounty. Bounty Lands, Ac.
Office on Juliana street, one door South of tho
•■Mangel House," and nearly opposite the Inquirer
office.
JOHN P*REED, ATTORNEY AT
tf LAW. BEDFORD. PA Respectfully tenders
h> services to the public.
Office second door North of the Mengcl House.
Bedford. Aug. 1. 1861.
JOHN PA Lit ER, ATTORNEY AT
Ft LAW, BEDFORD, PA Will promptly attend
to all business entrusted to his eare.
Particular attention paid to the collection of
Military claims. Office on Juliana Street, nearly
opposite the Mcnsel House.
Br If. rd. Aug. 1. 1861.
I \si ; V M. AIJSIP, ATTORNEY AT
J j LAW, BEDFORD, PA. Will faithfully and :
promptly attend to all business entrusted to his •
e ire in Bedford and adjoining counties. .Military i
■laims, back pay, bounty, Ac., speedily collected. ]
Office with Mann A Spang, on Juliana street,
■ I. doors South of the Mengcl House.
Jan., 1864,
V. KIMMELL. 1 J. W. I.ISOENFELTER.
I " 1M M ELL A LI XCTEN FELTER,
!\ ATTORNEYS AT LAW. BEDFORD. PA..
Have formed a partnership in tnc practice o! j
the Law Office on Juliana street** wo doors South
ot\ho 'Mengel House,*
/ 1 11. SPANG, ATTORNEY AT
\T„ LAW BEDFORD. PA. Will promptly at
tend to collections and 'ill business entrusted to
his care in Bedford and ldjoining counties.
Office on Juliana Street, three doors south of the
"Meogd Ji 'use. >•] ;o-irc the residence of Mrs.
Tate.
May_l3, ISM. -
5 F METERS. | J■ W. DICKKRSOM.
-\3EYERS & DICKERSON, AT
i>i TORNEYS AT LAW, Bedford. Pa., office
siiiau as formerly oecupii dby 11"n. W P Schell,
two doors east of the Uazktte office, will practice
in the several courts of Bedford county. Pensions,
1 unty and hack pay obtained and the purchase
an! side of real estate attended to. |mayll, '66.
rOHN H.FILLEB, Attornegat Law,
fp Bedford. Pa. Office nearly opposite the Post
Office. |apr.2o,'6fi.—ly.
i'hy.jiriaitf and ileutists.
PI I. PENXSYL, M. !>., BLOODY
, P,i >, Pa. l ite surgeon 56th P. V. V~) ten
ders his profes-i mal services to the people of that
place and vicinity. Dee.-2, <>•'—'A _
\\T W.JAMISON, M. i>.. BLOODY
■ \ o RtiN. Pa., tenders lib profe--iowil servi
ce- to the people ~f that place and vicinity. Office
one door west of Richard Langdon s store.
Nov. 21, '6s—ly
nR. .}. L. MARBOUIKf, Having
permanently located, respectfully tenders
his prof --iou.il services to the citizens oi Bedford
and vicinity.
Office on Juliana street, east side, nearly opposite
the Banking House of Reed A Schell.
Bedford, ifobiuary i 2, 1 861.
C. X. HICKOK. | * 0. MUiXICH. JR.,
nE N' T I S T S ,
BEDFORD, PA.
Office in (lie Bank Building. Juliana St.
All operations pertaining to Surgical or Mo
h inieal D' i .stry carefully performed, and war
ranted. l'ooth Powders end mouth Wn-hcs, ex
cellent articles, alwavs on hand.
Tm'ns—CASH.
Bedford. January <5,1865.
FAR. GEO. c. DOUGLAS, Reapee*-
| /fully tender- his professional services to the
p ople ol Bedford and vicinity.
OFFICE—2 doors West of the Bedford Hotel,
above Border's Silver Smith Store.
Residence at Maj. Washabaugh s.
bujj. 24/60
#nn!icvs.
lA< OB litKD. I J.J. MBU|
i ) K K i> AND ti CII E L L,
I Banter and
it F. A L E RS IN EX CIIA NGE,
BEDFORD, PA-,
DRAFTS bought and sold, collection* made and
•: v promptly remitted.
Deposit* solicited.
■SF BLTCP 0. K. SHANNON" F. BENEDICT
T)l T !'J\ SHANNON &(X)., BANK-
J[\_ ERS, BEDFORD, PA.
BANK OF DISCOUNT AND DEPOSIT.
'''ELECTIONS ma ic for the East, West, North
1 ath. and the general business of Exchange
tr ■ i, acted'. Notes and Accounts Collected and
U"trtittHnees promptly made. REAI. ESTATE
b tight and sold Oct. 20, XSfo
I \ANIEL BORDER,
i f PITT STHEKT. TWO DOORS WEST or THE UED-
I 'FRI> HOTEL, BEDFORD, PA.
WATCHMAKER AND DEALER IN JEWEL
RY. SPECTACLES, &C.
II ■ keeps on hand a sto'-k of fine Gold and Sil
er Watches, Speetiicles of Brilliant Double Re
irip'l ti 1 ;ivcs. Scot'-h Pebble Gold
Watch Chains, Breast Pins, Finger Rings, best
quality of Gold Pen- 1 . Ho w ill supply to order
any thing in his linn not on hand.
Oct. 20, Ittfia
|\ It. ANDERSON,
1 m
l/u-eiwd Scrirt'iii r and fhiirei/niicer,
CENTRE VILLI?, 11l KFtlBIl < OUNTV. I".,
will attend to the writing of Dec -cL. Mortgages,
Least*.. Article.- of Agreement, and all business
sually transacted by a Scrivener and Conveyan
er The patronage of the public is respectfully
slictted.
April 6, 'fifi tf.
®ljc Ocbforfr #rite.
BY MEYERS & MENGEL.
flit •ficilfovd (iY.net! ?.
THE \AT CUV I. HISTORY pi' BKlDiyj.
We have been favored with the na
tural histories of man, the birds and"
beasts, of the world, but no one has vet
. essayed the history of that indispensi
j hie creature, the bride. We prop.' >e in
I this article to attempt to show how the
■ vacuum caused by the shortcomings of
! authors may be supplied by some en
j terprising Bohemian.
A brie is the culmination of a moth
er's anxiety and the commencement of j
a husbfnd's serious reflections. A
mother looks upon her daughter array- i
ed as a bride, as an arrow shot from her !
household quiver at that butt of female ;
archery, man; and, if the arrow has
made a fctir hit, is prone to chuckle
over the shot as showing forth her su
perior matronly skill. If, on the con
trary, the sucetss is doubtful, then the
mother, like a bad archer, blames the
arrow, the luck, any thing, indeed, but
her own bad management.
Brides are divided into numerous
classes. For example: sentimental
brides, who marry for love; speculative
brides, who marry for money; anxious
brides, who marry for the sake of l>e
ing married; accommodating brides,
who marry because their lovers asked
them to marry; unresisting brides, who
marry because their friends desire them
to marry; inquisitive brides, who mar
ry forcuriosity, and invalid brides, who
marry to restore their health.
Sentimental brides are the most nu
merous, hut not the most happy of the
orange-wreathed tribe. They are gen
erally young creatures, who revel in
poetical dreams connected with the
wearer of a love of a mustache, or the
possessor of a handsome nose, or ex
pressive eyes, or an animated doll, who j
can make pretty little speeches, grace
ful bows, or sing a pretty little song.
She takes great pride unto herself be
cause she married Charlie for his own
dear self, and not for his surroundings
—unaware that a man's position in so
ciety, his friends, and even his wealth
or poverty is as much a part of himself
total as the curl of his hair, the song he
sings, the strut he affects, or even his |
education. She generally finds, when I
the song is less brilliantly sung, the <
mustache requires!Tiristadora, the head ;
a wig, ami the poetical speeches are i
turned into matter-of-fact imperatives, 1
that the varnish is rubbed off, the gloss 1
removed, and Charlie is not the man lie I
used to be. j i
The money bride has made herself an
article "f merchandize, and is to be
valued according to the nricc she ob
tains for herself. She belongs to every
condition of socieiy, from her who mar
ries for social position, horses and car
riages, diamonds, houses and a bank
account, to the work-gill who marries
a one room home, and the privilege of
only half starving on her husband's
petty weekly pittance. She generally
reaches the conclusion that she has sold
herself too cheap.
The health-seeking bride looks on the
marriage service as a medical prescrip
tion, the parson as a doctor, and the
husband as the boftis administered for
her ills—a blue-pill that mast lie swal
lowed, however nau-eous. She knows
that she is traveling on the road to
death, yet clinging to life, endeavors to
throw her burden on her lord. Flying
from the embraces of the worm, she is
compe'led to accept those of the bride
groom. She merely prefers to an earth
ly dwelling, the marriage-chamber to
the narrow house appointed for all liv
ing. The honeymoon shines through
apothecary bottle-, and the epithalmi
uin is coughed in wheezy periods.
The purchasing bride is generally an
old maid or widow, who despairing of
being courted for her own sake, seeks a
husband through the medium of 1 her
pecuniary charms. .She generally lets
every one know, after marriage, that
she keeps the purse-strings in her own
hands, and the young man—for this
class generally suceeded in obtaining
young men—whom she had succeeded
in entrapping is highly and everlast
ingly indebted to her. The experience
of such is usually the conclusion that
they have paid too dearly for their
whistle.
The husband desiring bride is, per- j
haps, the most composed of all brides, j
the least enthusiastic, and the most
likely to be happy. She marries he- 1
cause it is instinct with her, tot because
she is particularly in love. So she is not
so apt to he troubled with the pane's of:
jealously, or to suffer from disappoint
ment, when she discovers that the
bridegroom is not much better than the
average of men after all. She goes j
through the days of courtship a< a mat- j
ter of course; wonders at the whims
and caprices of sentimental girls; re
ceives and accepts the offer of marriage
as a matter of course; dons the bridal
attire, and goes through the whole for
mula of wedding, ceremonies and un
ceremonies, a- a matter of course: per-.
forms all the duties, and submits to all j
the little vexations of married life as a ;
matter of course; lives a serene, orderly
and quiet lift*, and dies respected and
regretted by all who know her, as a
matter of course.
We give the above few cases as sam
ples of what might be done in the mat- 1
ter of writing up a natural history of;
brides. Bach particular class could lie
elaborated to the extent of at least one
chapter. <>f course, with our limited j
space, we can only refer to a few eases, i
and that in very brief terms. We hope
.some writer possessing sufficient ability ;
may take the matter up, and give us a j
work upon the subject.
THE MISTf.IIKH S H VXl>.
Of all tho mental infirmities of my
fellow-beings, there are none that I am
less inclined to laugh sit, and, in fact,
more disposed to respect, than a belief
in apparitions and a fear of the -super
natural; and one reason is, that al
though a decided skeptic in those mat
ters, i have never been aide entirely to
divest myself of the superstitions of my
youth; and another, that even at an ad
vance!) age, 1 have been placed in situa
tions, both at home anil abroad, where
reason
j "That column of true majesty in man,"
j has been prostrated, for a time, before
I what seamed the most appaling reali
| ties, and I have experienced all the ter
rors of my childhood revived with un
diminished power—the groundlessness
of my fear only being made manifest by
some desperate effort of courage, or the
most patient subsequent investigation.
Despite the march of intellect, rapid as
it is, such a belief will always more or
less prevail; and I am not sorry that it
should; for besides the poetry of the
tiling, I have always been of opinion
that it has a beneficial effect at least if
not a religious one, upon the credulous
and thoughtless, by impressing upon
them, if nothing else will, the absolute
certainty of a future state, between
which and the present spirits must be
considered by them as the messenger
and connecting 'lnk; and, by conse
quence, lead them, through their fears,
to abstain from many sins in which
they might.otherwise indulge. Be this
as g may, there are many things that
occur out of the common course of e
veuts, having so much the appearance
of the supernatural, that if not rational
ly accounted for, will produce the most
superstitious effects upon the strongest
minds. Out of several instances that
l have occurred under my own immedi
: ate observation, the following wiil
; probably be deemed not uninteve.-iing
[ by the lovers of the mysterious.
Many years ago, J was awakened one
night from an unquiet sleep by a feel
ing of acute pain, and a disagreeable
thrilling throughout my whole frame,
with the exception of my fore-head,
which felt singularly chilly, and as if
pressed upon by a dull, cold weight. I
became strangely alarmed; and remain
ed for several minutes immovable, and
at a loss what to think. After several
ineffectual attempts to feel whether
there was any object of terror near, ray
hand at length encountered and fell
trembling and powerless upon another
hand —a strange, motionless, cold,clam
my hand! My flesh crept upon my
bones—my hair felt like writhing need
les on mv he-u I —an icv nmviui nttwui
started out from every pore of my body.
I made a violent attempt to scream; ray
tongue, however, clove to the roof of my
mouth, and shutting my eyes, I gave
myself up to despair. But despair, how
ever it may for a time remain inactive,
hath itsenergics—energies which noth
ing short of hopelessness can arouse;
and, musteringmy resuscitated powers,
i struggled to remove the horrid hand,
for ] felt it palpably, in all its cold real
ity, within mine, and, giving a long
and piercing shriek, fell exhausted on
my pillow and fainted. On coming a
gain to myself, I found the bed stir- ;
rounded by the whole house-hold, with
lights and various weapons of defence;
and when, to their hasty inquiries, I
shudderingly answered that a strange
and icy hand, the hand of death, was
beside me, and had been upon my fare
head, an instantaneous roar of laughter
burst upon invastonished senses. Start
ing up, I looked round, and found that !
a stoppage in the circulation of the blood j
had deadened my left arm, upon which j
I had been lying, and that the hand,
the awful and mysterious hand that
had occasioned all my terror, was my
own!
KVXI'.Y SMITH'S 19JI SLXSE.
Never give way to melancholy; re
sist it steadily, for the habit will en
croach. I once gave a lady two and
twenty receipts against melancholy.
One was a bright fire; another it) re
member all the pleasant things said to
and of her; another to keep a
box of sugar plums on the chimney
piece, and a kettle simmering on the
hob.
Never teach false morality. How
exquisitely absurd to tell girls that
beauty is of no value—dress of no use!
Beauty is of value; her whole pros
pects and happiness in life may often
depend on a new gown or a becoming
bonnet, and if she has five grains of
common sens", she will find it out.
Thegreat thing is to teach her their
just value, and that there must be some
thing better under the bonnet than a
pretty face for real happiness. But
never sacrifice truth.
I am convinced digestion is the great
secret of life; and that character, tal
ents, virtues and qualities are power
fully affected by beef, mutton, pie
crust and rich soups. I have often
thought I could feed or starve men in
to many virtues and vices, and affect
them more powerfully with the instru
ments of cookery tlianTimotheuscoukl
do formerly with his lyre.
Railway O.Tidal.—You'd better not
; smoke, sir.
Traveler.—That's what my friends
' say.
Railway Official.—But you musn't
smoke, sir.
Traveler.—So my doelor tells me.
Railway official (indignantly).— But
you shan't smoke sir.
Traveler.—Ah ! just what my wife
says.
BEDFORD. PA.. FRIDAY MORNING, OCTOBER 19, 1866.
A HEX DRED T E AIM AGO.
One hundred y< ars ago there was not
a single white man in Ohio, Kentucky,
Indiana ahd Illinois territories. Then,
what is now the most flourishing part
of America, was as little known as the
mountains of the moon. It \vas not
until 1709 that the htmter of Kentucky,
the gallant Boone, left his home in
North Carolina to become the first set
tler of Kentucky; the first pioneer of
Ohio did not settle fill twenty years af
terwards.
A hundred yearsigo Canada belong
ed to France, and the whole popula
tion of the United States did not ex
ceed a million and a half.
A hundred years ago the great Fred
erick of Prussia wai performing those
exploits which have made him immor
tal in military anluls, and with his
monarchy was snshiininga single-hand
ed contest with Russia, Austria and
France, the three great powers of Eu
rope combined.
A hundred yean ago the United
States were the rrpst loyal people of
the British Umpire,and on the politic
al horizon no speck indicated the strug
gle which within a s-oreof years there
after established the great republic of
the world.
A hundred years ago there were but
four newspapers in America—with a
combined circulation not exceeding 2,-
0(H). Steam enginesafedcylinder presses
had not been imagined, and the rail
roads and telegraphs had not entered
the remotest conception of man.
When we look hack tit it through the
vista of history, we find that the cen
tury which has passed has been allot
ted to more important ?vents in their
bearing upon the happiness of the
world than almost any other e vent that
has happened since the creation.
A hundred years hence, who can
foretell our developments and the na
tion's?
MORAL Cor it AGE IN EVERY DAY
LlFE.— Have the courage to dis
charge a debt while you have the mon
ey in your pocket.
Have the courage to do without that
which you do not need,however much
your eyes may covet it.
Have the courage to speak your mind
when it is necessary to do so, and to
hold your tongue when it is prudent
you should do so.
Have the courage to speak to a friend
in a "seedy" coat, even though you are
in company with a rich one, and richly
attired.
Have the courage to make a will and
a just one.
you will not lend him your money.
Have the courage to "cut the most a
greeable acquaintance you have when
yOu are convinced that he lacks princi
ple. "A friend should bear with a
friend's infirmities," but not with his
vices.
Have the courage to show your re
spect for honesty iu whatever guise it
appears; ami your contempt for dis
honest publicity, by whomsoever ex
hibited.
Have the courage to wear your old
clothes until you can pay for new ones.
1 iave the courage to obey you r Maker,
at the risk of being ridiculed by man.
Have the courage to prefer comfort
and propriety to fashion in all things.
Have theeouragetoacknowlodge your
ignorance rather than seek cfedit for
knowledge under falsepretences.
Have the courage to provide enter
tainment for your Meads within your
mean.s—m it beyond.
AXKWYOUK correspondent of the
Albany Arr/nt relates that a handsome
orphan work girl ha 4 been for some
timocn'.irled by a joueieynian hatter.
One day she pressed Win to marry, as
she had received dfstespeetful propo
sals from a voung lawyer. "There is
my hand," said die, "ifiarry me direct
ly." The lover, highly indignant at
the attorney, was toojjlad to obey the
direction. The took place at
the residence ot ihe ltrale. The eve
ning before the wedding, however,
the bridegroom told (Mary Elizabeth
that he had a secret t> tell. He was
not a journeyman hatpir, but was one
of the richest men init-he city of Bos
ton, and said he wouil take her the
next day to the beautiful country seat
in the suburbs of the modern Athens
which he had inherited from his fath
er and mother, for he, indeed, was an
orphan like his bride, Mary Klizabeth.
Jlehad seen her at Itanium's Muse
um, and resolved to make her his own
when convinced of her worthiness.
W K have often heard of affectionate
husbands but here is one ti nt surpasses
ail.
While Gen. Curtis' comnand was
inarching along the southern dope of
the Boston range of mountains, in Ar
kansas, the advance met a nan driving
a cart with one ox to drivjr the same.
The man seemed to be in great agony,
weeping over the remains of his bet
ter half which lay in the cart, dead.
One of the men accosted hint thus:
"My good man what are you crying
about?"
"Oh ! she's dead, she's dead, and site
was such a good woman," was the sob
bing reply.
"Well, what was she good for?" ask
ed the hard-hearted soldier.
"Oh! for scolding, swearing, fight
ing and baking flap-jacks—site couldn't
be beat in Arkansas."
ONLV eleven newspapers are now
published in Mexico.
A GERMAN advertised that he had
i an organ that would play any tune out
of an enumerated set at the command
of any one of the audience. This made
a noise at the time, ami puzzled all the
conjurers and philosophers of the place.
The organ was placed on the table, with
its back against the wall, the company
were invited to examine it, then ask
for a tunc, which was immediately
played; and if any one desired it to
stop, it was instantly silent. This
went on for a long time, and the inge
nious inventor was mailing a rapid for
tune, and the secret would have been
buried with him had he not behaved
most inharmonious!;,* toward his lov
ing wife one day, just before the per
formance commenced. The room was
crowded as usual, a tunc was called for,
but not a note was heard. The owner
became uneasy, and said in a soothing
coaxing manner, "Do play my gout or
gans." Still not a sound was heard.
He got out of patience, nttd threatened
to smash the instrument to pieces,
when a hoarse female voice was heard
to growl out, "Ay, do prcak tie organs
as you proke my head dis morning!"
This was too much for the choleric Ger
man, lie took a chair and gave the in
strument such a knock that he drove
it through a paper parti I ion in the wall,
carrying with it nnotle-r organ which
had been placed close at the back of the
sham one, at which sat the obstinate
grinder—his wife.
The Dog Dot -n >r's S ex:l l et. — Good
food, dainties, and want of exercise,
are the destruction of parlor dogs.
They become fat with increasing age,
and contract various diseases. At last
the day comes when a dose of prusic
acid must finish the business, or that a
medical practitioner must be called in,
who will, by a severe regimen restore
the clog's health and appetite. An ex
kennel man inour neighborhood made
a very comfortable income by this pe
culiar ling of practice. He divulged
the secret of his system a few days he
fore his dissolution to the estimable
clergyman of the parish." "I always
tied 'em," said this canine Abernat-hy,
"to a crab tree at the end of my gar
den, for a week, and gave Vm nothing
but water. When I fetched 'em from
their mistresses they refused to eat
what, l should have been glad to get,
and when they went back they wouid
eat. what I couldn't have touched. I've
had some dogs twice or even three
times a year, but I always cured 'em
at last. One of them was as good as
three pounds a year to me. I was ter
rible fond of him, but he never took to
me; and when he saw mc coming for
waddle away and howl enough to wake
the dead. Dogs havn't got no grati
tude."—Field.
N EVER SAW A WOMAN.— Meadow's
HkUory of the Chinese lately publish
ed in London, in a chapter on Love, lias
the following:
'A Chinese, who had been disappoin
ted in marriage and had grievously
suffered through women in many oth-
er ways, retired with his infant son to
the peaks of a mountain range in Kwe
ichoo, to a spotquiteinaeces-ibie to lit
tle footed Chinese women, i !• trained
the boy to worship the Gods, and stand
in awe and abhorrence of the devils;
but he never mentioned women to
him, always descending the mountain
alone to buy food. At length, howev
er, the infirmities of agecompelledhim
to take the young man with him to
carry the heavy bag of rice. As they
were leaving the market town togeth
er, the son suddenly stopped short, and,
pointing to three approaching objects,
cried,
'Father, what are these tilings?
Look ! look ! what are they ?
'The father answered with theper
emptoryorder,
'Turn away your head; they are
devils!"
'The sen, in some alarm, turned a
way noticing that the evil tilings were
gazing at him with surprise from be
hind their fans. He walked to the
mountain in silence, ate no supper, and
from that day lost his appetite and
was afflicted with melancholy.—For
some time his puzzled and anxious pa
rent could get no satisfactory answer
to his inquiries, butat length theyoung
man burst out crying with inexplica
ble pain, 'Oh, father, that tallest dev
il! that tallest devil!'
A CAUTIOUS YOUTH.—A widow
lady in Scotland had an only son. On
him she had expended much tc< enable
him to acquire an education, ile was
absent from home for a longtime, at
tending school. I laving completed his
course of studies, he returned to his
good old mother.
"Come, John," said she on the night
of his arrival home, and when they
were about making preparations to re
tire,' "youv'e been a long time away
from me, my son, and have studied
much, i know ye are a good lad, but
1 have never heard ye pray. Try it,
John; for ye surely must now know
how, with all thelearningye have got."
'' A ccort 1 i ngly John com pi ie< I—u lade
a long, humble, and as he supposed,
satisfactory acknowledgment of his
sins and general unworthiness, and of
his indebtedness, to his Maker."
"Well,mother, how did it suit ye?"
"Pretty well—pretty well, John,"
replied the old-lady; "hut why didna
yegie the old de'il a slap or two?"
"All!" said John, "not I not I ; for
you know, niither, there's none of us
knows whose hands we may sometimes
fall into!"
VOL. 61r—WHOLE No. 5.368.
Ax EXTINCT HACK. — One of the
most remarkable races that ever inhab
ited the canh is now extinct. Tliey
were known astheGuanchcs, and were
the aborigines of the Ca nary Islands.
In the sixteenth century, pestilence,
slavery, and the cruelty of th Spaniards
i succeeded in totally exterminating
them. They are described as having
1 been gigantic, in stature, but of a singu
larly inihi and a gentle nature. Their
food consisted of barley, wheat, and
j goats milk, and theiragrieulture was of
I the rudest lend. They had a religion
which taught them of a future state of
rewards and punishineuts after death
and of good and evil spirits. They re
garded the volcano ofTcneriiTeas a pun
ishment for the bad. The bodies of
! their 'load were carefully embalmed
and deposited in catacombs, which still
! continue to be an object of curiosity to
those who visit the islands. Their mar
riage rites were very solemn, and before
' encaging In th- m. itu- YnM- were fat
tened on milk. At the present day these
strange people are totally extinct.
| WOULDN'T GIVE IN. —An English
clergyman relates tie following amus
! inganecdote:
The most singular reply I ever listen
: cd to was made tome last summer, up
! on the occasion of our school feast by a
j carter boy of about fourteen. Every
body had exhibip d a tolerableajipetite,
but this boy, had eaten to repletion, so
licit when I saw him suddenly turn
' very pale, and attempt to rise from the
I table.! began to fear he had made him-
J self ill.
"What's the matter, my good boy?"
inquired i, wh ilea sympathizing throng
of philanthropic ladies, who had been
; acting as waiters upon the company
gathered around the sufferer. Do you
| feel unwell?"
"My atomach aches, sir," replied the
! boy with great distinctness.
"Dear me," said I (almost suffocated
with my endeavor- to oppress laugli-
I ter,) "don't you tiiiiik you had better go
: home?"
"No, no. sir," replied the lad with de
termination. "It will ache a precious
i sight more afore I Jia' don; - wi' him."
| And lam bound to say that lie did
i not submit to tiie threatened dictation,
but devoured two slices of cold pudding
j in addition a) his previous supplies, as
well as an enormous bunch of bread and
cheese.
PKOFIT AND LOSS.—A Western can
didate for; ; ingress, who had a large!
and well-stocked farm, was annoyed at j
the almost nightly disappearance from
his permisos of a number of hogs. A
; viui'iant vvaic.ii mjah'icd him in luted j
the thief, who proved to be a neighbor, j
: and a warm political friend of the can- j
didate—one, in fact, upon whose assis- i
tance he greatly relied in the coming
canvass, lledisliked to los" his support,
and he disliked more the idea of losing j
Iris hogs: so he made up his mind to be j
frank with the thief; and try to save, j
in more senses than one, his bacon. He j
went at once to his neighbor, told him
what he had ascertained; expressed Ids ,
desire not to make a public exposure, j
and said: "Now I make this proposi-i
tion—if you will let my hogs alone in ;
future, I \fill not only say nothing of j
the past, but when I kill in the fall, i'ii
put into your cellar' five barrels of as j
good pork as 1 make." The fellow re-!
fleeted a moment, and replied: "Weii
'Squire, that's a fair proposition, any j
how ami seeing as it's you, I'll do it; but
I vow I believe I shall lose pork by the
operation.
APPLICATION OK KNOWLEDGE.-—A \
very valuable pocket-knife was once j
dropped into a twenty-feet well, half;
full of water.
"How shall we get it out? Shall we ;
have to draw the water from the well?" i
The writer proposed to use a strong horse j
shoe magnet, near by, suspended by aj
cord. "But we can't see whereto lower j
the magnet so as to touch the knife."
"Throw the sun's rays down on the hot- j
torn of the well by a looking-glass," J
was the second answer. It was done, j
the knife rendered visible from the top j
of the well, the magnet came into con- |
tact, and the knife brought up—all be
ing accomplished in a minute of time.
THE London Reviewsays: "Mr. Bon- j
eicault next season will be in eseeiaeia. i t i
is a hard matter even foraskiHful gym- j
nasi to ride four horses a; once, but what
is that to inspiring or eoudaeting four
London theaters. Perhaps the most
didieult task for a mode-t playwright
was to demand £2h,6GO for the four lob
ster-saiud plays, with situations origi
nal And selc 'ted, which were, and it is
said are, to be furnished for these four
theaters. This Mr. Boucieault has ac
complished."
An instance of the ruling passion
strong in death, is thus related of old
(.look, who was known as a miser, and
had amassed a large fortune. On his
death-bed, when the last gasp was ap
proaching, a tallow candle was burning
upon the stand, and a flickering flame
in the tiro-place. Suddenly he called to
ills son. saying—
"Woodbury, come here."
The son approached the bed-side,
when the old man whispered—
"Woodbury, blow out that candle;
tallow's most as dear as butter."
In Paris they are preparing "(trass
hopper Pancakes," fried in rum, and in
Egypt they have "Locust Fritters,"
steeped in rum before frying, aud then
done up brown in butter. These are
royal dishes for royal appetites.
BOYS USING TOBACCO—A strong and
sensible writer says a good, sharp thing,
and a true one, too, for boys who use
tobacco. It has utterly ruined thous
ands of boys. It tends to softening and
weakening of the bones, and it great
ly injures the brain, the spinal marrow
and the whole nervous fluid. A boy
who smokes early and frequently, or in
any way uses large quantitiesof tobac
co, is never known to make a man of
much energy, and generally lacks mus
cular and physical as well as mental
power. We would particularly warn
boys Who want to be anything in the
world, to shun tobacco as a most bane
ful poison. It injures the teeth. Itpro
duces an unhealthy state of the throat
and lungs, hurts the stomach and blasts
the brain and nerves.
How TO KEEP POOR.— There is no
workingman but would rejoice to have
the way pointed out by wh ch he might
honestly attain riches. No one would
thank as for a prescript'on to insure
poverty, and yet there is many a man
who keep-; ha. -ok poor by indulging
in the following: two glasses of ale a
day at ten seventy-three dollars;
three cigars, one after each meal, one
hundred and nine dollars and fiftj
cents; board for a lag dog, thirty dol
lars—all in one year, two hundred and
twelve dollars and fifty cents—suffi
[ Ctent to t"iy six barrels of flour, one
barrel of sugar, one sack of coffee, a
good coat, a respectable dress, a frock
for the baby, and a half dozen pairs of
shoes. If you don't believe it, work
ingpian, figure for yourself.
A GOOD CESTOM. —It was the custom
in Massachusetts, in early times, as we
learn from Lewis' History of Lynn, for
a person to go about the meeting houses,
during divine service, and wake the
sleepers. "liebore along wand, on one
end of which was a ball and on the oth
er af< x tail. When he observed the
men asleep, he rapped them on the head
with a knob, and roused the slumber
ing sensibilities of the ladies by draw
ing the brush lightly across their fa
ces."
A ■i J v; x-s noken Western preacher
deli vered the following from his desk :
"j would anno nice to the congrega
tion thai. probably by mistake, there
was oft a. tin- meeting house, this
m; niiiiir, a sniaii cotton umbrella,
m i: 1 ! dani: . by tune and wear,
a-.d ■ !i -iy ; ale in color, in place
whereof was taken a very large silk
umbrella, of great beauty. Blunders
of this sort, brethren and sisters, are
getting a littie 100 common."
A OiXiM>" MEMORY. —"Well, my
child," said a stern father to a little
daughter, after church, "what do you
remember of all the preacher said? '
•'Nothing, sir," was the timid reply.
"Nothing!" said he severely: "now,
remember, the next time you tell me
something he says, or you must stay
away from church."
biie next Sunday she came home,
her eyes ail excitement: ,
"I remember something," said she.
"Ah, very glad of it," replied the
father; "what did he say?"
"He said, pa," cried she delightedly,
"a collection will now betaken up!"
JONES, while lately engaged in split
ting wood, struck a false blow, causing
the stick to fiv up. It struck him on
the jaw and knocked out a front tooth.
"Ah," said Bill, meeting him soon
after, "you have had a dental opera
tion performed, i see."
"Yes" replied the other, "ox-ideu
tai."
1 cL.\siu;i> her tiny hand in mine;
I clasped her beauteous form; I vowed
to shield her from ilie wind, and from
the world's cold storm. She set her
beau! "ous eyes on me, the tears did
wildly flow: and with her little lips
she said, "Confound you, let me go."
Dresses still trail behind, or rather
tunics trail, for the dress has dwindled
to a tunic, and the petticoat has arisen
to the dignity of a dress. Often the
dress will be a simple muslin, looped up
with ribbons, while the petticoat will
be of rich -ilk exquisitely embroidered.
Naturalists have remarked that the
squirrel is continually chatting to his
fellow-squirrels in the woods. This we
have every reason to suppose, arises
from that animal's love of gossip, as he
is notoriously one of the greatest tail
bearers among ids tribe.
"Married couples resemble a pair of
shears," says Sidney Smith ; "so join
ed that they cannot be separated, often
moving in opposite directions, yet al
ways punishing any one who comes
between them."
"The divine right of beauty," says
Junius, "is the only divine right a man
can acknowledge, and a pretty woman
the only tyrant he is not authorized to
resist."
No man or woman ever perforntedan
act of duty in accordance with the con
victions of truth, who did not feel the
reward of "well done, good and faithful
servant."
BARNUM'S fat woman broke down
a cat) in Toronto, last week, and tum
bled into the mud. The cabman threat
ened a suit for damages.
THE testimony of a witness has been
refused in the Supreme Court of Mas
sachusetts, because he wore his dirty
working clothes in the Court room.
A EAT boy in Waterford, Ireland,
weighs 419 pounds, and measures 27
inches around the calf of his leg.
CORKY (>' LANUS calls the great organ
in Plymouth Church, Brooklyn, "anew
Long Island Sound."