TERMS OF PUBLICATION. TBF. BEDFORD GAZETTE is published every Fri day morning by METERS A MBSOEL, at $2.00 per annum, if paid strictly t n advance : $2.50 if paid within six months; $3.00 if not paid within six months. All subscription accounts MUST he settled annually. No paper will be sent out of the State unle? paid for is ADVANCE, and all such subscriptions will invariably be discontinued at the expiration of the time for which they arc j paid All ADVEBTISKMENTS for a less term than ! three months TEN CENTS per line for each in sertion. Special notices one-half additional Ail! resolutions of Associations; eomnnnic-.ti-ns of; limited or individual interest, and notices ; uinr riapos and deaths exceeding five line ten cents j per line. Editorial notioes fifteen cents per line. ; All legal Notices of every kind .and Orphans' j 'C ourt and Judicial Sales, are required by lav I to he published in both p ipiers pr bit shed in this j place. LJ* AH advertising due after first insertion. j A liberal disc; unt is made to persons advertising ! by the quarter, half year, or year, n follows : j * months, fi months. J your. | *One square - - - $t 50 sf> (10 $lO Oh . Two squares ... 000 fOO IB 00 j Three squares - - - S 00 12 00 20 00 j Quarter column - - 11 00 JO 00 3500 \ llalf column - - - IS t(0 25 00 45 00 One column - - - - 30 00 45 00 $0 00 i ♦One square to occupy ue inch of space. JOB PRINTING, of every kind, done with neatness and dispatch, THK GAZETTE OFFICE has just been refitted with a Power Press and new type, and ererything in the Printing line can be execu ted in the most artistic niiuiner and at the lowest rates.— TERMS CASH. LsU All letters should be addressd t# MEYERS A HKNGEL. Publishers. Attornat ?€<nc. JOSEPH W. TATE, ATTORNEY •jt AT LAW. BEDFORD, PA., wilt tirtnuptly attend to collections of bounty, back pay, Ac., and all business entrusted to his care in Bedford and adjoining counties. Cash advanced on judgments, notes, military and other claims. His for sale Town lots in Tatcsville, where a uo..d Church is erected, and where a largo School House shall be built. Farms. Land and Timber Leave, from one acre to dot) acres to suit pur chasers. Office nearly opposite the "Mengel Hotel" and Bank of Heed A Sohell. April 6.1866—1y MCI) SHARPS. K F. KF.RR. DHAIIPE A- KF.RR, ATTORNEYS AT LAW UlffOKD, PA.. will practice i:I the courts of Bedford and adjoining counties Of fice on Juliana st., opposite tho Banking House of Reed A Sclicil. ( March 2. '6ti. R. DURBORROW. | JOHN LVTZ. nu RBOR R(> W A- LUT Z , ATTORNEYS AT LAW. BEDFORD, I'A., Will attend promptly to all business intrusted to their earo. Collections made en the shortest no- Thcv are. also, regularly licensed Claim Agents and will give special attention to the prosecution of claims against the (iorernmcnt. for Pensions, Back Pay. Bounty. Bounty Lands, Ac. Office on Juliana street, one door South of tho •■Mangel House," and nearly opposite the Inquirer office. JOHN P*REED, ATTORNEY AT tf LAW. BEDFORD. PA Respectfully tenders h> services to the public. Office second door North of the Mengcl House. Bedford. Aug. 1. 1861. JOHN PA Lit ER, ATTORNEY AT Ft LAW, BEDFORD, PA Will promptly attend to all business entrusted to his eare. Particular attention paid to the collection of Military claims. Office on Juliana Street, nearly opposite the Mcnsel House. Br If. rd. Aug. 1. 1861. I \si ; V M. AIJSIP, ATTORNEY AT J j LAW, BEDFORD, PA. Will faithfully and : promptly attend to all business entrusted to his • e ire in Bedford and adjoining counties. .Military i ■laims, back pay, bounty, Ac., speedily collected. ] Office with Mann A Spang, on Juliana street, ■ I. doors South of the Mengcl House. Jan., 1864, V. KIMMELL. 1 J. W. I.ISOENFELTER. I " 1M M ELL A LI XCTEN FELTER, !\ ATTORNEYS AT LAW. BEDFORD. PA.. Have formed a partnership in tnc practice o! j the Law Office on Juliana street** wo doors South ot\ho 'Mengel House,* / 1 11. SPANG, ATTORNEY AT \T„ LAW BEDFORD. PA. Will promptly at tend to collections and 'ill business entrusted to his care in Bedford and ldjoining counties. Office on Juliana Street, three doors south of the "Meogd Ji 'use. >•] ;o-irc the residence of Mrs. Tate. May_l3, ISM. - 5 F METERS. | J■ W. DICKKRSOM. -\3EYERS & DICKERSON, AT i>i TORNEYS AT LAW, Bedford. Pa., office siiiau as formerly oecupii dby 11"n. W P Schell, two doors east of the Uazktte office, will practice in the several courts of Bedford county. Pensions, 1 unty and hack pay obtained and the purchase an! side of real estate attended to. |mayll, '66. rOHN H.FILLEB, Attornegat Law, fp Bedford. Pa. Office nearly opposite the Post Office. |apr.2o,'6fi.—ly. i'hy.jiriaitf and ileutists. PI I. PENXSYL, M. !>., BLOODY , P,i >, Pa. l ite surgeon 56th P. V. V~) ten ders his profes-i mal services to the people of that place and vicinity. Dee.-2, <>•'—'A _ \\T W.JAMISON, M. i>.. BLOODY ■ \ o RtiN. Pa., tenders lib profe--iowil servi ce- to the people ~f that place and vicinity. Office one door west of Richard Langdon s store. Nov. 21, '6s—ly nR. .}. L. MARBOUIKf, Having permanently located, respectfully tenders his prof --iou.il services to the citizens oi Bedford and vicinity. Office on Juliana street, east side, nearly opposite the Banking House of Reed A Schell. Bedford, ifobiuary i 2, 1 861. C. X. HICKOK. | * 0. MUiXICH. JR., nE N' T I S T S , BEDFORD, PA. Office in (lie Bank Building. Juliana St. All operations pertaining to Surgical or Mo h inieal D' i .stry carefully performed, and war ranted. l'ooth Powders end mouth Wn-hcs, ex cellent articles, alwavs on hand. Tm'ns—CASH. Bedford. January <5,1865. FAR. GEO. c. DOUGLAS, Reapee*- | /fully tender- his professional services to the p ople ol Bedford and vicinity. OFFICE—2 doors West of the Bedford Hotel, above Border's Silver Smith Store. Residence at Maj. Washabaugh s. bujj. 24/60 #nn!icvs. lA< OB litKD. I J.J. MBU| i ) K K i> AND ti CII E L L, I Banter and it F. A L E RS IN EX CIIA NGE, BEDFORD, PA-, DRAFTS bought and sold, collection* made and •: v promptly remitted. Deposit* solicited. ■SF BLTCP 0. K. SHANNON" F. BENEDICT T)l T !'J\ SHANNON &(X)., BANK- J[\_ ERS, BEDFORD, PA. BANK OF DISCOUNT AND DEPOSIT. '''ELECTIONS ma ic for the East, West, North 1 ath. and the general business of Exchange tr ■ i, acted'. Notes and Accounts Collected and U"trtittHnees promptly made. REAI. ESTATE b tight and sold Oct. 20, XSfo I \ANIEL BORDER, i f PITT STHEKT. TWO DOORS WEST or THE UED- I 'FRI> HOTEL, BEDFORD, PA. WATCHMAKER AND DEALER IN JEWEL RY. SPECTACLES, &C. II ■ keeps on hand a sto'-k of fine Gold and Sil er Watches, Speetiicles of Brilliant Double Re irip'l ti 1 ;ivcs. Scot'-h Pebble Gold Watch Chains, Breast Pins, Finger Rings, best quality of Gold Pen- 1 . Ho w ill supply to order any thing in his linn not on hand. Oct. 20, Ittfia |\ It. ANDERSON, 1 m l/u-eiwd Scrirt'iii r and fhiirei/niicer, CENTRE VILLI?, 11l KFtlBIl < OUNTV. I"., will attend to the writing of Dec -cL. Mortgages, Least*.. Article.- of Agreement, and all business sually transacted by a Scrivener and Conveyan er The patronage of the public is respectfully slictted. April 6, 'fifi tf. ®ljc Ocbforfr #rite. BY MEYERS & MENGEL. flit •ficilfovd (iY.net! ?. THE \AT CUV I. HISTORY pi' BKlDiyj. We have been favored with the na tural histories of man, the birds and" beasts, of the world, but no one has vet . essayed the history of that indispensi j hie creature, the bride. We prop.' >e in I this article to attempt to show how the ■ vacuum caused by the shortcomings of ! authors may be supplied by some en j terprising Bohemian. A brie is the culmination of a moth er's anxiety and the commencement of j a husbfnd's serious reflections. A mother looks upon her daughter array- i ed as a bride, as an arrow shot from her ! household quiver at that butt of female ; archery, man; and, if the arrow has made a fctir hit, is prone to chuckle over the shot as showing forth her su perior matronly skill. If, on the con trary, the sucetss is doubtful, then the mother, like a bad archer, blames the arrow, the luck, any thing, indeed, but her own bad management. Brides are divided into numerous classes. For example: sentimental brides, who marry for love; speculative brides, who marry for money; anxious brides, who marry for the sake of l>e ing married; accommodating brides, who marry because their lovers asked them to marry; unresisting brides, who marry because their friends desire them to marry; inquisitive brides, who mar ry forcuriosity, and invalid brides, who marry to restore their health. Sentimental brides are the most nu merous, hut not the most happy of the orange-wreathed tribe. They are gen erally young creatures, who revel in poetical dreams connected with the wearer of a love of a mustache, or the possessor of a handsome nose, or ex pressive eyes, or an animated doll, who j can make pretty little speeches, grace ful bows, or sing a pretty little song. She takes great pride unto herself be cause she married Charlie for his own dear self, and not for his surroundings —unaware that a man's position in so ciety, his friends, and even his wealth or poverty is as much a part of himself total as the curl of his hair, the song he sings, the strut he affects, or even his | education. She generally finds, when I the song is less brilliantly sung, the < mustache requires!Tiristadora, the head ; a wig, ami the poetical speeches are i turned into matter-of-fact imperatives, 1 that the varnish is rubbed off, the gloss 1 removed, and Charlie is not the man lie I used to be. j i The money bride has made herself an article "f merchandize, and is to be valued according to the nricc she ob tains for herself. She belongs to every condition of socieiy, from her who mar ries for social position, horses and car riages, diamonds, houses and a bank account, to the work-gill who marries a one room home, and the privilege of only half starving on her husband's petty weekly pittance. She generally reaches the conclusion that she has sold herself too cheap. The health-seeking bride looks on the marriage service as a medical prescrip tion, the parson as a doctor, and the husband as the boftis administered for her ills—a blue-pill that mast lie swal lowed, however nau-eous. She knows that she is traveling on the road to death, yet clinging to life, endeavors to throw her burden on her lord. Flying from the embraces of the worm, she is compe'led to accept those of the bride groom. She merely prefers to an earth ly dwelling, the marriage-chamber to the narrow house appointed for all liv ing. The honeymoon shines through apothecary bottle-, and the epithalmi uin is coughed in wheezy periods. The purchasing bride is generally an old maid or widow, who despairing of being courted for her own sake, seeks a husband through the medium of 1 her pecuniary charms. .She generally lets every one know, after marriage, that she keeps the purse-strings in her own hands, and the young man—for this class generally suceeded in obtaining young men—whom she had succeeded in entrapping is highly and everlast ingly indebted to her. The experience of such is usually the conclusion that they have paid too dearly for their whistle. The husband desiring bride is, per- j haps, the most composed of all brides, j the least enthusiastic, and the most likely to be happy. She marries he- 1 cause it is instinct with her, tot because she is particularly in love. So she is not so apt to he troubled with the pane's of: jealously, or to suffer from disappoint ment, when she discovers that the bridegroom is not much better than the average of men after all. She goes j through the days of courtship a< a mat- j ter of course; wonders at the whims and caprices of sentimental girls; re ceives and accepts the offer of marriage as a matter of course; dons the bridal attire, and goes through the whole for mula of wedding, ceremonies and un ceremonies, a- a matter of course: per-. forms all the duties, and submits to all j the little vexations of married life as a ; matter of course; lives a serene, orderly and quiet lift*, and dies respected and regretted by all who know her, as a matter of course. We give the above few cases as sam ples of what might be done in the mat- 1 ter of writing up a natural history of; brides. Bach particular class could lie elaborated to the extent of at least one chapter. <>f course, with our limited j space, we can only refer to a few eases, i and that in very brief terms. We hope .some writer possessing sufficient ability ; may take the matter up, and give us a j work upon the subject. THE MISTf.IIKH S H VXl>. Of all tho mental infirmities of my fellow-beings, there are none that I am less inclined to laugh sit, and, in fact, more disposed to respect, than a belief in apparitions and a fear of the -super natural; and one reason is, that al though a decided skeptic in those mat ters, i have never been aide entirely to divest myself of the superstitions of my youth; and another, that even at an ad vance!) age, 1 have been placed in situa tions, both at home anil abroad, where reason j "That column of true majesty in man," j has been prostrated, for a time, before I what seamed the most appaling reali | ties, and I have experienced all the ter rors of my childhood revived with un diminished power—the groundlessness of my fear only being made manifest by some desperate effort of courage, or the most patient subsequent investigation. Despite the march of intellect, rapid as it is, such a belief will always more or less prevail; and I am not sorry that it should; for besides the poetry of the tiling, I have always been of opinion that it has a beneficial effect at least if not a religious one, upon the credulous and thoughtless, by impressing upon them, if nothing else will, the absolute certainty of a future state, between which and the present spirits must be considered by them as the messenger and connecting 'lnk; and, by conse quence, lead them, through their fears, to abstain from many sins in which they might.otherwise indulge. Be this as g may, there are many things that occur out of the common course of e veuts, having so much the appearance of the supernatural, that if not rational ly accounted for, will produce the most superstitious effects upon the strongest minds. Out of several instances that l have occurred under my own immedi : ate observation, the following wiil ; probably be deemed not uninteve.-iing [ by the lovers of the mysterious. Many years ago, J was awakened one night from an unquiet sleep by a feel ing of acute pain, and a disagreeable thrilling throughout my whole frame, with the exception of my fore-head, which felt singularly chilly, and as if pressed upon by a dull, cold weight. I became strangely alarmed; and remain ed for several minutes immovable, and at a loss what to think. After several ineffectual attempts to feel whether there was any object of terror near, ray hand at length encountered and fell trembling and powerless upon another hand —a strange, motionless, cold,clam my hand! My flesh crept upon my bones—my hair felt like writhing need les on mv he-u I —an icv nmviui nttwui started out from every pore of my body. I made a violent attempt to scream; ray tongue, however, clove to the roof of my mouth, and shutting my eyes, I gave myself up to despair. But despair, how ever it may for a time remain inactive, hath itsenergics—energies which noth ing short of hopelessness can arouse; and, musteringmy resuscitated powers, i struggled to remove the horrid hand, for ] felt it palpably, in all its cold real ity, within mine, and, giving a long and piercing shriek, fell exhausted on my pillow and fainted. On coming a gain to myself, I found the bed stir- ; rounded by the whole house-hold, with lights and various weapons of defence; and when, to their hasty inquiries, I shudderingly answered that a strange and icy hand, the hand of death, was beside me, and had been upon my fare head, an instantaneous roar of laughter burst upon invastonished senses. Start ing up, I looked round, and found that ! a stoppage in the circulation of the blood j had deadened my left arm, upon which j I had been lying, and that the hand, the awful and mysterious hand that had occasioned all my terror, was my own! KVXI'.Y SMITH'S 19JI SLXSE. Never give way to melancholy; re sist it steadily, for the habit will en croach. I once gave a lady two and twenty receipts against melancholy. One was a bright fire; another it) re member all the pleasant things said to and of her; another to keep a box of sugar plums on the chimney piece, and a kettle simmering on the hob. Never teach false morality. How exquisitely absurd to tell girls that beauty is of no value—dress of no use! Beauty is of value; her whole pros pects and happiness in life may often depend on a new gown or a becoming bonnet, and if she has five grains of common sens", she will find it out. Thegreat thing is to teach her their just value, and that there must be some thing better under the bonnet than a pretty face for real happiness. But never sacrifice truth. I am convinced digestion is the great secret of life; and that character, tal ents, virtues and qualities are power fully affected by beef, mutton, pie crust and rich soups. I have often thought I could feed or starve men in to many virtues and vices, and affect them more powerfully with the instru ments of cookery tlianTimotheuscoukl do formerly with his lyre. Railway O.Tidal.—You'd better not ; smoke, sir. Traveler.—That's what my friends ' say. Railway Official.—But you musn't smoke, sir. Traveler.—So my doelor tells me. Railway official (indignantly).— But you shan't smoke sir. Traveler.—Ah ! just what my wife says. BEDFORD. PA.. FRIDAY MORNING, OCTOBER 19, 1866. A HEX DRED T E AIM AGO. One hundred y< ars ago there was not a single white man in Ohio, Kentucky, Indiana ahd Illinois territories. Then, what is now the most flourishing part of America, was as little known as the mountains of the moon. It \vas not until 1709 that the htmter of Kentucky, the gallant Boone, left his home in North Carolina to become the first set tler of Kentucky; the first pioneer of Ohio did not settle fill twenty years af terwards. A hundred yearsigo Canada belong ed to France, and the whole popula tion of the United States did not ex ceed a million and a half. A hundred years ago the great Fred erick of Prussia wai performing those exploits which have made him immor tal in military anluls, and with his monarchy was snshiininga single-hand ed contest with Russia, Austria and France, the three great powers of Eu rope combined. A hundred yean ago the United States were the rrpst loyal people of the British Umpire,and on the politic al horizon no speck indicated the strug gle which within a s-oreof years there after established the great republic of the world. A hundred years ago there were but four newspapers in America—with a combined circulation not exceeding 2,- 0(H). Steam enginesafedcylinder presses had not been imagined, and the rail roads and telegraphs had not entered the remotest conception of man. When we look hack tit it through the vista of history, we find that the cen tury which has passed has been allot ted to more important ?vents in their bearing upon the happiness of the world than almost any other e vent that has happened since the creation. A hundred years hence, who can foretell our developments and the na tion's? MORAL Cor it AGE IN EVERY DAY LlFE.— Have the courage to dis charge a debt while you have the mon ey in your pocket. Have the courage to do without that which you do not need,however much your eyes may covet it. Have the courage to speak your mind when it is necessary to do so, and to hold your tongue when it is prudent you should do so. Have the courage to speak to a friend in a "seedy" coat, even though you are in company with a rich one, and richly attired. Have the courage to make a will and a just one. you will not lend him your money. Have the courage to "cut the most a greeable acquaintance you have when yOu are convinced that he lacks princi ple. "A friend should bear with a friend's infirmities," but not with his vices. Have the courage to show your re spect for honesty iu whatever guise it appears; ami your contempt for dis honest publicity, by whomsoever ex hibited. Have the courage to wear your old clothes until you can pay for new ones. 1 iave the courage to obey you r Maker, at the risk of being ridiculed by man. Have the courage to prefer comfort and propriety to fashion in all things. Have theeouragetoacknowlodge your ignorance rather than seek cfedit for knowledge under falsepretences. Have the courage to provide enter tainment for your Meads within your mean.s—m it beyond. AXKWYOUK correspondent of the Albany Arr/nt relates that a handsome orphan work girl ha 4 been for some timocn'.irled by a joueieynian hatter. One day she pressed Win to marry, as she had received dfstespeetful propo sals from a voung lawyer. "There is my hand," said die, "ifiarry me direct ly." The lover, highly indignant at the attorney, was toojjlad to obey the direction. The took place at the residence ot ihe ltrale. The eve ning before the wedding, however, the bridegroom told (Mary Elizabeth that he had a secret t> tell. He was not a journeyman hatpir, but was one of the richest men init-he city of Bos ton, and said he wouil take her the next day to the beautiful country seat in the suburbs of the modern Athens which he had inherited from his fath er and mother, for he, indeed, was an orphan like his bride, Mary Klizabeth. Jlehad seen her at Itanium's Muse um, and resolved to make her his own when convinced of her worthiness. W K have often heard of affectionate husbands but here is one ti nt surpasses ail. While Gen. Curtis' comnand was inarching along the southern dope of the Boston range of mountains, in Ar kansas, the advance met a nan driving a cart with one ox to drivjr the same. The man seemed to be in great agony, weeping over the remains of his bet ter half which lay in the cart, dead. One of the men accosted hint thus: "My good man what are you crying about?" "Oh ! she's dead, she's dead, and site was such a good woman," was the sob bing reply. "Well, what was she good for?" ask ed the hard-hearted soldier. "Oh! for scolding, swearing, fight ing and baking flap-jacks—site couldn't be beat in Arkansas." ONLV eleven newspapers are now published in Mexico. A GERMAN advertised that he had i an organ that would play any tune out of an enumerated set at the command of any one of the audience. This made a noise at the time, ami puzzled all the conjurers and philosophers of the place. The organ was placed on the table, with its back against the wall, the company were invited to examine it, then ask for a tunc, which was immediately played; and if any one desired it to stop, it was instantly silent. This went on for a long time, and the inge nious inventor was mailing a rapid for tune, and the secret would have been buried with him had he not behaved most inharmonious!;,* toward his lov ing wife one day, just before the per formance commenced. The room was crowded as usual, a tunc was called for, but not a note was heard. The owner became uneasy, and said in a soothing coaxing manner, "Do play my gout or gans." Still not a sound was heard. He got out of patience, nttd threatened to smash the instrument to pieces, when a hoarse female voice was heard to growl out, "Ay, do prcak tie organs as you proke my head dis morning!" This was too much for the choleric Ger man, lie took a chair and gave the in strument such a knock that he drove it through a paper parti I ion in the wall, carrying with it nnotle-r organ which had been placed close at the back of the sham one, at which sat the obstinate grinder—his wife. The Dog Dot -n >r's S ex:l l et. — Good food, dainties, and want of exercise, are the destruction of parlor dogs. They become fat with increasing age, and contract various diseases. At last the day comes when a dose of prusic acid must finish the business, or that a medical practitioner must be called in, who will, by a severe regimen restore the clog's health and appetite. An ex kennel man inour neighborhood made a very comfortable income by this pe culiar ling of practice. He divulged the secret of his system a few days he fore his dissolution to the estimable clergyman of the parish." "I always tied 'em," said this canine Abernat-hy, "to a crab tree at the end of my gar den, for a week, and gave Vm nothing but water. When I fetched 'em from their mistresses they refused to eat what, l should have been glad to get, and when they went back they wouid eat. what I couldn't have touched. I've had some dogs twice or even three times a year, but I always cured 'em at last. One of them was as good as three pounds a year to me. I was ter rible fond of him, but he never took to me; and when he saw mc coming for waddle away and howl enough to wake the dead. Dogs havn't got no grati tude."—Field. N EVER SAW A WOMAN.— Meadow's HkUory of the Chinese lately publish ed in London, in a chapter on Love, lias the following: 'A Chinese, who had been disappoin ted in marriage and had grievously suffered through women in many oth- er ways, retired with his infant son to the peaks of a mountain range in Kwe ichoo, to a spotquiteinaeces-ibie to lit tle footed Chinese women, i !• trained the boy to worship the Gods, and stand in awe and abhorrence of the devils; but he never mentioned women to him, always descending the mountain alone to buy food. At length, howev er, the infirmities of agecompelledhim to take the young man with him to carry the heavy bag of rice. As they were leaving the market town togeth er, the son suddenly stopped short, and, pointing to three approaching objects, cried, 'Father, what are these tilings? Look ! look ! what are they ? 'The father answered with theper emptoryorder, 'Turn away your head; they are devils!" 'The sen, in some alarm, turned a way noticing that the evil tilings were gazing at him with surprise from be hind their fans. He walked to the mountain in silence, ate no supper, and from that day lost his appetite and was afflicted with melancholy.—For some time his puzzled and anxious pa rent could get no satisfactory answer to his inquiries, butat length theyoung man burst out crying with inexplica ble pain, 'Oh, father, that tallest dev il! that tallest devil!' A CAUTIOUS YOUTH.—A widow lady in Scotland had an only son. On him she had expended much tc< enable him to acquire an education, ile was absent from home for a longtime, at tending school. I laving completed his course of studies, he returned to his good old mother. "Come, John," said she on the night of his arrival home, and when they were about making preparations to re tire,' "youv'e been a long time away from me, my son, and have studied much, i know ye are a good lad, but 1 have never heard ye pray. Try it, John; for ye surely must now know how, with all thelearningye have got." '' A ccort 1 i ngly John com pi ie< I—u lade a long, humble, and as he supposed, satisfactory acknowledgment of his sins and general unworthiness, and of his indebtedness, to his Maker." "Well,mother, how did it suit ye?" "Pretty well—pretty well, John," replied the old-lady; "hut why didna yegie the old de'il a slap or two?" "All!" said John, "not I not I ; for you know, niither, there's none of us knows whose hands we may sometimes fall into!" VOL. 61r—WHOLE No. 5.368. Ax EXTINCT HACK. — One of the most remarkable races that ever inhab ited the canh is now extinct. Tliey were known astheGuanchcs, and were the aborigines of the Ca nary Islands. In the sixteenth century, pestilence, slavery, and the cruelty of th Spaniards i succeeded in totally exterminating them. They are described as having 1 been gigantic, in stature, but of a singu larly inihi and a gentle nature. Their food consisted of barley, wheat, and j goats milk, and theiragrieulture was of I the rudest lend. They had a religion which taught them of a future state of rewards and punishineuts after death and of good and evil spirits. They re garded the volcano ofTcneriiTeas a pun ishment for the bad. The bodies of ! their 'load were carefully embalmed and deposited in catacombs, which still ! continue to be an object of curiosity to those who visit the islands. Their mar riage rites were very solemn, and before ' encaging In th- m. itu- YnM- were fat tened on milk. At the present day these strange people are totally extinct. | WOULDN'T GIVE IN. —An English clergyman relates tie following amus ! inganecdote: The most singular reply I ever listen : cd to was made tome last summer, up ! on the occasion of our school feast by a j carter boy of about fourteen. Every body had exhibip d a tolerableajipetite, but this boy, had eaten to repletion, so licit when I saw him suddenly turn ' very pale, and attempt to rise from the I table.! began to fear he had made him- J self ill. "What's the matter, my good boy?" inquired i, wh ilea sympathizing throng of philanthropic ladies, who had been ; acting as waiters upon the company gathered around the sufferer. Do you | feel unwell?" "My atomach aches, sir," replied the ! boy with great distinctness. "Dear me," said I (almost suffocated with my endeavor- to oppress laugli- I ter,) "don't you tiiiiik you had better go : home?" "No, no. sir," replied the lad with de termination. "It will ache a precious i sight more afore I Jia' don; - wi' him." | And lam bound to say that lie did i not submit to tiie threatened dictation, but devoured two slices of cold pudding j in addition a) his previous supplies, as well as an enormous bunch of bread and cheese. PKOFIT AND LOSS.—A Western can didate for; ; ingress, who had a large! and well-stocked farm, was annoyed at j the almost nightly disappearance from his permisos of a number of hogs. A ; viui'iant vvaic.ii mjah'icd him in luted j the thief, who proved to be a neighbor, j : and a warm political friend of the can- j didate—one, in fact, upon whose assis- i tance he greatly relied in the coming canvass, lledisliked to los" his support, and he disliked more the idea of losing j Iris hogs: so he made up his mind to be j frank with the thief; and try to save, j in more senses than one, his bacon. He j went at once to his neighbor, told him what he had ascertained; expressed Ids , desire not to make a public exposure, j and said: "Now I make this proposi-i tion—if you will let my hogs alone in ; future, I \fill not only say nothing of j the past, but when I kill in the fall, i'ii put into your cellar' five barrels of as j good pork as 1 make." The fellow re-! fleeted a moment, and replied: "Weii 'Squire, that's a fair proposition, any j how ami seeing as it's you, I'll do it; but I vow I believe I shall lose pork by the operation. APPLICATION OK KNOWLEDGE.-—A \ very valuable pocket-knife was once j dropped into a twenty-feet well, half; full of water. "How shall we get it out? Shall we ; have to draw the water from the well?" i The writer proposed to use a strong horse j shoe magnet, near by, suspended by aj cord. "But we can't see whereto lower j the magnet so as to touch the knife." "Throw the sun's rays down on the hot- j torn of the well by a looking-glass," J was the second answer. It was done, j the knife rendered visible from the top j of the well, the magnet came into con- | tact, and the knife brought up—all be ing accomplished in a minute of time. THE London Reviewsays: "Mr. Bon- j eicault next season will be in eseeiaeia. i t i is a hard matter even foraskiHful gym- j nasi to ride four horses a; once, but what is that to inspiring or eoudaeting four London theaters. Perhaps the most didieult task for a mode-t playwright was to demand £2h,6GO for the four lob ster-saiud plays, with situations origi nal And selc 'ted, which were, and it is said are, to be furnished for these four theaters. This Mr. Boucieault has ac complished." An instance of the ruling passion strong in death, is thus related of old (.look, who was known as a miser, and had amassed a large fortune. On his death-bed, when the last gasp was ap proaching, a tallow candle was burning upon the stand, and a flickering flame in the tiro-place. Suddenly he called to ills son. saying— "Woodbury, come here." The son approached the bed-side, when the old man whispered— "Woodbury, blow out that candle; tallow's most as dear as butter." In Paris they are preparing "(trass hopper Pancakes," fried in rum, and in Egypt they have "Locust Fritters," steeped in rum before frying, aud then done up brown in butter. These are royal dishes for royal appetites. BOYS USING TOBACCO—A strong and sensible writer says a good, sharp thing, and a true one, too, for boys who use tobacco. It has utterly ruined thous ands of boys. It tends to softening and weakening of the bones, and it great ly injures the brain, the spinal marrow and the whole nervous fluid. A boy who smokes early and frequently, or in any way uses large quantitiesof tobac co, is never known to make a man of much energy, and generally lacks mus cular and physical as well as mental power. We would particularly warn boys Who want to be anything in the world, to shun tobacco as a most bane ful poison. It injures the teeth. Itpro duces an unhealthy state of the throat and lungs, hurts the stomach and blasts the brain and nerves. How TO KEEP POOR.— There is no workingman but would rejoice to have the way pointed out by wh ch he might honestly attain riches. No one would thank as for a prescript'on to insure poverty, and yet there is many a man who keep-; ha. -ok poor by indulging in the following: two glasses of ale a day at ten seventy-three dollars; three cigars, one after each meal, one hundred and nine dollars and fiftj cents; board for a lag dog, thirty dol lars—all in one year, two hundred and twelve dollars and fifty cents—suffi [ Ctent to t"iy six barrels of flour, one barrel of sugar, one sack of coffee, a good coat, a respectable dress, a frock for the baby, and a half dozen pairs of shoes. If you don't believe it, work ingpian, figure for yourself. A GOOD CESTOM. —It was the custom in Massachusetts, in early times, as we learn from Lewis' History of Lynn, for a person to go about the meeting houses, during divine service, and wake the sleepers. "liebore along wand, on one end of which was a ball and on the oth er af< x tail. When he observed the men asleep, he rapped them on the head with a knob, and roused the slumber ing sensibilities of the ladies by draw ing the brush lightly across their fa ces." A ■i J v; x-s noken Western preacher deli vered the following from his desk : "j would anno nice to the congrega tion thai. probably by mistake, there was oft a. tin- meeting house, this m; niiiiir, a sniaii cotton umbrella, m i: 1 ! dani: . by tune and wear, a-.d ■ !i -iy ; ale in color, in place whereof was taken a very large silk umbrella, of great beauty. Blunders of this sort, brethren and sisters, are getting a littie 100 common." A OiXiM>" MEMORY. —"Well, my child," said a stern father to a little daughter, after church, "what do you remember of all the preacher said? ' •'Nothing, sir," was the timid reply. "Nothing!" said he severely: "now, remember, the next time you tell me something he says, or you must stay away from church." biie next Sunday she came home, her eyes ail excitement: , "I remember something," said she. "Ah, very glad of it," replied the father; "what did he say?" "He said, pa," cried she delightedly, "a collection will now betaken up!" JONES, while lately engaged in split ting wood, struck a false blow, causing the stick to fiv up. It struck him on the jaw and knocked out a front tooth. "Ah," said Bill, meeting him soon after, "you have had a dental opera tion performed, i see." "Yes" replied the other, "ox-ideu tai." 1 cL.\siu;i> her tiny hand in mine; I clasped her beauteous form; I vowed to shield her from ilie wind, and from the world's cold storm. She set her beau! "ous eyes on me, the tears did wildly flow: and with her little lips she said, "Confound you, let me go." Dresses still trail behind, or rather tunics trail, for the dress has dwindled to a tunic, and the petticoat has arisen to the dignity of a dress. Often the dress will be a simple muslin, looped up with ribbons, while the petticoat will be of rich -ilk exquisitely embroidered. Naturalists have remarked that the squirrel is continually chatting to his fellow-squirrels in the woods. This we have every reason to suppose, arises from that animal's love of gossip, as he is notoriously one of the greatest tail bearers among ids tribe. "Married couples resemble a pair of shears," says Sidney Smith ; "so join ed that they cannot be separated, often moving in opposite directions, yet al ways punishing any one who comes between them." "The divine right of beauty," says Junius, "is the only divine right a man can acknowledge, and a pretty woman the only tyrant he is not authorized to resist." No man or woman ever perforntedan act of duty in accordance with the con victions of truth, who did not feel the reward of "well done, good and faithful servant." BARNUM'S fat woman broke down a cat) in Toronto, last week, and tum bled into the mud. The cabman threat ened a suit for damages. THE testimony of a witness has been refused in the Supreme Court of Mas sachusetts, because he wore his dirty working clothes in the Court room. A EAT boy in Waterford, Ireland, weighs 419 pounds, and measures 27 inches around the calf of his leg. CORKY (>' LANUS calls the great organ in Plymouth Church, Brooklyn, "anew Long Island Sound."
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers