THE BEDFORD GAZETTE |g PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY MORNING BY 18. F. BEYERS, At the following terme, to wit t $1.50 per annum, CASH, in advance. $2.00 " " if paid within the year, j.j.flo " " if not paid within the year gy~\o subscription taken lor less than six months. (@rSo papor discontinued until all arrearages ie paid , unless at the option of the publisher, it has heefl decided by the United Stales Courts thaj t !e stoppage of a newspaper without the paymen or arranges, is prima facie, evidence ol fraud and a < firti inal offence. countable for the subscription price of newspa pers, if they take them from the post whetn 'er they subscribe for them, or riot. [ ISi/ Requat.~\ HOW I CAME TO BE MARRIED. It may be funny, but I've done it. I've got rib and baby! Shadows departed—oys ter stews, brandy cocktails, cigar-boxes, boot-jacks, absorbing shirt buttons, whist and dominoes. Shadows present —hoop- skirts, band-boxes, ribbons, gaiters, long stockings, juvenile dresses, tin trumpets, little willow chairs, cradles, bibs, pap Sugar teats, paregoric, hive-syrup, rhubarb, senna, salts, castor oil, Godfrey's-cordial, squills, doctor's bills. Shadows future—more nine pound babies, more hive syrup, etc., etc.,etc. I'll just tell you how I got caught. I was the durndest, most tca-custard, bashful fel low you ever did see; it was kinder in nty line to be taken with the shakes every time I saw a pretty girl approaching me, and I'd 'cross the street any time rather than face one. It was not because f did not like the critters, for, if I was behind a fence peep ing through a knot-hole, I eouldn't look at one long enough. Well, my sister T>Sh gave a party one night, and I stayed away from home because I was too bashful to face Ihe music. I hung around the house whistling "Old Dan Tuck er," dancing to keep my feet warm, watch ing the heads pop up and down behind the window curtain, and wishing the thunder ing party would break up so that I could get to my room. 1 smoked a bunch of cigars, and as it was getting late and mighty un comfortable, 1 concluded to shin it up the, door post. No sooner said than done, and I soon found myself in bed. "Now," says I, 'let her rip, dance till yer wind gives out!' and cuddling under the quilts, Morpheus grabbed me. I was dreaming of soft-shelled crabs, shrimps, stewed oysters, &c., when somebody knocked at the door. Rap, I laid low. Rap, rap, rap! Then I heard a whis pering, and I knew there was a whole raft of girls outside —rap, rap, rap, then Lib sings out: 'Jack, arc you there?' 'Yes,' says I—then came a roar of laugh ter. 'Let us in,' says she. 'I won't,' says I. Then another laugh. By thunder! I be gan to be riled. 'Can't you let a fellow alone ?* 'Are you a-bed?' says she. 'I am,' says I. 'Get up,' say 3 she. 'I won't,' says I. Then ariother laugh. 'Get out, you petticoatcd scare-crow,' I cried, 'can't you get a beau without pulling a fellow out of bed? I won't go home with you—l won't—so you may clear out!' and j throwing a boot at the door I felt better. But "presently, Oh! mortal buttons, I heard a still small voice, very much like my sister Lib's, and it said: 'Jack, you'll have to get up, for all the girls' things are in there.' Oh Lord! what a pickle! think of me in bed, all covered over with mutts, shawls, bonnets and cloaks, and twenty girls at the door waiting to get in; it I had had time to think I should have fainted on the spot, as it was I rolled out among the bonnet ware and ribbons in a hurry. Smash went the millinery in every direction. I had to dress in the dark, for there was a hole in the door, and girls will peep, and the way I tumbled about was death to straw hats. The moment came; I opened the door mid found myself right among the women. 'Oh, my dear leghorn!' cried one, 'my clear, darling little winter beaver!' cried an other; and they pitched and they pulled, this way and that, and one bright-eyed lit-* tic piece, 'Sal,' her name was, put her arms around my neck and kissed nic right in the mouth. Human nature couldn't stand that, and I give her as good as she sent. It was the first time I ever got a taste, and it was powerful good. I believe I could have kiss ed that gal from Julius Cresar to the 4th of •July. 'Jack,' said she, 'we arc sorry to disturb you, but. won't you sec me home?' 'Yes,' said I, 'I will.' And I did, and I bad another smack at the gate, too. After that we took a kinder turtle-doving after each other; both of us sighed like a barrel of cider, when we were away from each other. It. was at the close of a glorious summer day—the sun was setting behind a distant hog-pen—and the chickens were going to roost—the bull-frogs were commencing their evening songs—the polly-wogs in their na tive mud-puddles were preparing themselves for the shades of night—and Sal and my self sat upon an antiquated back-log, listen ing to the music of nature; such as tree toads, roosters, grunt ing-pig 3, and now and then the mellow music of a distant jackass was wafted to our ears by the gentle zeph yrs thqt sighed among the mullen stalks, and came heavily laden with the odors of henroosts and pig sty 3. The last lingering rays of the setting sun glancing f|ta|fcbf brass buttons of a solitary horse man, shone througn a knot-hole in the hog- P®r>! Ml in Sal's face, dying her hair to an I orange peel huo, and showing off my thread- " f •- ■ VOLUME 58. NEW SERIES. bare coat to a bad advantage. One of my arms was around her waist, my hand rest ing on the small of her back—slio was toy ing with my jet black locks of auburn hue. She .looked like a grasshopper dying with the hiccoughs, and I felt like a mud-turtle choked with a codfish hall. 'Sal,' says I, in a voice as musical as the notes of a dying swan, 'will you have meV' She turned her eyes heavenward, clasped me by the hand, had an attack of the heaves arid blind staggers, and with a sigh that drew her shoe strings to her throat, said 'yes.' iShe gave clear out, and squatted down in my lap—l hugged her until I broke my suspenders, and her breath smelt of the oniojia a/ie.hod ate the day before. Well, to make a long story short, she sot the day, and we practiced for four weeks, every night, how we would walk into the room to get married, till we got so that we could walk as graceful as a couple of muscovy ducks. The night, the company and the minister came; the signal was given, and arm in arm we inarched tinough the crowded hall. We were just entering the parlor door, when down I went kerslap on the oil cloth, pull ing Sal after me. Some cussed fellow drop ped a banana skin on the floor and floored inc. It split an awful hole in my cassimere?, right under my dress-coat tail. It. was too late to beck out, so clapping my hands over it we marched in and were spliced. Taking a seat I watched the bride-kissing operation. My groom man was tight, and he kissed her until I got up to take a slice, when, oh, hor ror, a little six-year old imp had crawled up behind me, and pulling my shirt through the hole in my pants, had pinned it to the chair, and in jumping up I displayed to the admiring gaze of the astonished multitude a trillc more white muslin than was allowa ble. I was finally put to bed, when all my troubles ended. Good night. COUNTRY COUSIN. PROPORTION OK MALES AND FEMALES. — According to the United States census of 1360, there were at that time about 730,000 more males than females in the U. States, a fact unprecedented in the census of any other civilized nation. In most of the old er Stato3 there is an excess of females; in M"nancbviae.H-n, innm tlmn males, while in Illinois there is anexceiJ of 02,000 males; in Michigan, 40,000 ex cess of males; in Texas. 36,000{in Wis consin, 43,000; in California, C7,U00; and in Colorado, there are 20 males to one fe male. HISTORICAL. —Since the organization of the Federal Government eleven attempts have been made to resist its authority. The first was in 1782, the second in 1787, the third in 1794, called the whiskey insurrec tion in Pennsylvania. In 1814 and 1820 two more attempts were made, and 1 lie sev enth was with the Cherokees in Georgia, in 1830. The eighth was (lie memorable nullifying ordinance of Soutli Carolina, in 1832, and in 1542, Rhode Island tried it. The tenth was in 1859, on the part of the Mormons, and the eleventh is the present one. EXTRAORDINARY DUEL.—Two sisters, named Munzia and Maria Granata, fought a duel at Naples, a few weeks ago, front motives of jealousy. The combat rook place witli the national weapon, the knife, and one of the sisters died on lite spot; while, the other, who still survives, received as many as eighteen wounds. SIIE "DIDN'T SEE IT."—A gentleman from l'ort Royal was present when some of the ."educators" sent from Massachusetts arrived. One of the female teachers, on reaching the shore, where a large number of contrabands, male and female, had con gregated, immediately walked to one of the latter, and with extended arms, attempted to embrace her, exclaiming as she did so, "You are my sister." The wench had not been used ts such nonsense, and supposed the woman must be drunk. Indignantly pushing her aside, she exclaimed, "Go way, white gal—never saw ye afore, where you git your whiskey?"—and thus ended the interview. How ALE STRENGTHENED HIM.—A stu dent of one of our State colleges had a bar rel of ale deposited in his room—contrary, of course, to rule and usage. He received a summons to appear before the President, who said: "Sir, I am informed that yon have a bar rel of ale in your room." "Yes, sir." "Well, what explanation can yon give?" "Why, my physician advised me to try a little each day as a tonic, and not wishing to stop at the various places where the bev erage is retailed, I concluded to have a bar rel brought to my room." "Indeed. And have you derived any benefit from the U3C of it?" "Ah, yes, sir. When the barrel came to my room, two days since, I could scarce ly lift it. Now I can'carry it with the grcat- I est case." ITis wit saved him. Freedom of Thonglit and Opinion. BEDFORD, PA., FRIDAY MORNING, OCTOBER 17, 1862. From the Pittsburg Post. DANIEL WEBSTER, Defender of the Constitution. Mr. K'Utor —Permit me, even at this mom -nt of excitement, when society appears drifting and forgetful of the past and regardless of the future, to occupy some space in your widely read journal, with the mature opinions of Dan iel Webster on the value of the constitution, de livered at the Oilcan, in Boston, upon the occa sion of the presentation of a Silver Vase in Oc tober. IS3O, upon which was inscribed: "To Daniel Webster, Defender of the Constitu tion of the United States." In this address lie ' says: Gentlemen, it is to pay respect to this Con stitution, it is to manifest your attachment to it, your sense of its value, and your devotion ito its true principles, that you have sought this occasion. It L not to pay an ostentations per sonal compliment. If it wore, it would bo un worthy of both you and inc. It is not to man ifest attachment to individuals, independent of <dl considerations of principles; if it were 1 should fed it my duty to tell you, friends as you are, that you are doing that which, at this very moment, constitutes one of the most threatening dangers to the Constitution itself. Your gilt would have no value in my eyes, this would lie regarded by me as an idle pageant, if I did not know that they are both but modes chosen b you to signify your attachment*!o the true prin ciples of the Constitution; your fixed purpose, so far us in you lies, to maintain those piinci l pics; and your resolution to support public ffn. | and stand by them, so long as they shall support the Constitution of the country and no longer. "The Constitution of the country 1" Gen tlemen. often as I am called to contemplate this •subject, its importance always rises and magni fies itself more and more before me. I cannot view its preservation as a concern of narrow extent, or temporary, duration. On the contra ry, I sec in it a vast interest, which is to run down with the generations of men, and to spread over a great portion of the earth with a direct, rind over the rest with an indirect, but a most powerful influence. When I speak of it here, in this thick crowd of fellow-citizens and friends, I yet behold, thronging about me, a much lar ger and more imposing crowd. 1 see a united rush of the present and the future. I see all the patriotic of our own land, and our own | time. I see also the many millions of their posterity, and I sec, too, tho lovers of hu man liberty from every part of tho earth, front 1 beneath tho oppressions of thrones, and liierar- j chics, and dynasties, from amidst tho darkness' jjLjisnor.uuv. degradation, and despot ism, into! ■Call anyjfly ur TJomv-4—j, k ! ~J_ I see all the. ; countless multitudes gutlicr about j us, and, I hear their united and earnest voices, j conjuring us. in whose charge the treasure now . is, to hold on to the last; by that which is our j own highest enjoyment and their best hope. FilledVith these sentiments, gentlemen, and j having through iny political life hitherto always acted under the deepest conviction of their truth and importance, it is natural that I should have regarded the preservation of the Constitution as tho first great political object to be secured, j Hut I claim no exclusive merit. I should deem it, especially, both unbecoming and unjust in ineto separate myself, in this respect, from oth er public servants of the people of Massachu setts. The distinguished gentlemen who have preceded and followed me in tho representation I of the city, their other associates from other districts of the State, and my late worthy and most highly-esteemed colleague; arc entitled, one and all, to a full share in the public appro- ; bation. If accidental circumstances, or a par ticular position, have sometimes rendered nic more prominent, equal patriotism and equal zeal have, yet made them equally deserving.— It were invidious to enumerate these fellow-la borers or to discriminate among them. Long may they live! and I could hardly express a , better wish for the interest and lienor of tho States, than that tho public men who may fol-1 low thorn may be as disinterested, as patriotic, | and as able as they have proved themselves. There have been, gentlemen, it is true, anx ious moments. This was an anxious occasion to which the gentleman who lias addressed me in your behalf lias alluded; I mean the debate in January, 18J50. It seemed to mo that the Constitution was about to lie abandoned- Threatened with most serious dangers, it wasnot j only not defended, but attacked, as 1 thought, ] and weakened and wounded in its vital powers ! and faculties, by those to whom the country naturally looks for its defeneo and protection. It appeared to me that the Union w:.s ab iut to go to pieces beforo the people woro at nil aware of the extent of the danger. This occasion was not sought, but forced upon us; it seemed to i me momentous, and I confess that I felt that even the little I could do, in such a crisis, was cnNcd for by every motive which could lie ad dressed to a lover of the Constitution. I took a part in tho debate, therefore, with my whole heart already in the subject and careless for eve ry thing in the result, except the judgment which the people of the United States should form up on the questions involved in tho discussion. I believe that judgment has been definitely pro nounced; but nothing is due to me, beyond the merit of having made an earnest effort to pre sent the true question to tho people, and to in voke for it that attention from tliem, which its high importance appeared to mo to demand. The Constitution of the United States, gen tlemen, is of "a peculiar structure. Our whole system is peculiar. It is fashioned according to no existing model, likened to no precedent, and yet founded on principles which lie at the foun dations of all free governments, wherever such governments exist. It is a complicated system. It is elaborate, and in sortie sense artificial, in its composition. We have twenty-four State sovereignties, all exercising legislative, judicial, and executive powers. Some of the sovcreign ' ties, or States, had long existed, and subject on ly to the restraint of the power of the parent country, had been accustomed to the forms and to the exercise of the powers of representative republics. Others of the.m are new creations, coming into existence only under the Constitu • tiou; but all now standing on an equal footing. The general government, under which all these States are united, is not, as has been very i justly remarked by Mr. Gray, a confederation, jit is much more than a confederation. It is a popular representative government, with all the , j departments and functions and organs, of such I | a government. Hut it is still a limited, a re- J strained, a severely guarded government. ■ It exists undor a written constitution, and all I that human wisdom could do is dono, to define j its powers and prevent its abuse. It is placed I in what was supposed to be the safest medium , between dangerous authority on the one band, I and debility and inefficiency on the other. I i think that happy medium was touud, by the ex ercise of the greatest political sagacity, and the influence of the highest good fortune. We can not move the system either way, without the probalitlity of hurtful changes and, as experi ence has taught us, its safety, and its usefulness, when let I where if is, our duty is a plain one. It cannot bo doubted that a system thus com plicated must ho followed with more or less dan ger, in every stage of its existence. It has not the simplicity of despotism. It is not a plain column, that stands self-poised and self-support ed. Nor is it a loose, irregular, and untixed, and undefined system of rule, which admits of constant and changes, without losing its character, llut it is a balanced and guarded system; a system of checks and controls; a sys tem in which powers arc carefully delegated, and as carefully limited, a system in which the symmetry of the parts is designated to produce an agreeable whole, which shall be favorable to personal liberty, favorable to public prosperity, and favorable to national glory. And who can deny, that, by a trial of fifty years, this Amer ican system of government has proved itself ca pable of conferring all these blessings. These years have been years of great agitation through out the civilized word. In the course of them the face of Europe has been completely changed. Old and corrupt governments have been destroy ed, and new ones erected in their places, have been destroyed, too, sometimes, in rapid succes sion. Yet, through all the extraordinary, the moat extraordinary scenes of this half century, the free, popular representative government of the United States has stood, and has afforded security lor liberty, for property, and for repu tation, to all citizens. That it lias been exposed to many dangers, that it has met critical moments, is certain. — cfcis and that a judgment. But it has hitherto been preserved? and vigilance and patriotism may rescue it again. The Constitution is founded on compromise, and the most perfect and absolute good faith, in regard to every stipulation of this kind contain ed in it, is indispensable to its preservation.— Every attempt to accomplish even the best pur pose, every attempt to grasp that which is re garded as an immediate good, in violation of these stipulations, is full of danger to the'whole Constitution. 1 nepd not say, also, that possi ble collision between the. general and the state, governments always hilt) been, is, and ever must be, a source of danger to bo strictly watched by wise men. I desire not to stand before the country as a man of no opinions, or of such a mixture of op posite opinions that tlio result has no character at all. On the contrary, lam desirous of stand ing as one who is bound to bis own consistency by the frankest avowal of his sentiments on all important and interesting subjects. lam not partly for the Constitution, and partly against it; 1 am wholly for it, for it altogether, for it as it is, and for the exercise, when occasion re tinites, of all its just powers, as they have here tofore been exercised by Washington, and the great men who "have followed him in its admin istration. I disdain, altogether, the character of an un committed man. lam committed, fully com mitted; committed to the full extent of all that 1 :un, and all that I hope, to the Constitution of the country, to its love and reverence, to its de fence and maintenance, to its warm commenda tion to every American heart, and to its vindi cation and just praise, before all mankind. And I am committed against every thing which, in my judgment, may weaken, endanger, or destroy it. Inm committed against the encouragement of local parties and-local feelings; I am com mit ted against all, any and every derangement of the powers of the several departments of the government, against any derogation from the constitutional authority of Congress, and espe cially against all extension of. tho executive power; and I am committed against any at tempt to .rule the free people of this country by tho patronage of the government itself. lam committed, fully and entirely committed, against making the government the people's master. "Why did you come backasked a sleek, well-fed citizen of a poor half-sick Federal sol dier just returned frout McClellnn's army.— " Why don't you goT' replied the soldier. GlßLS. —Tliere are two kinds of purls. Ono is the kind that appears the best abroad —the girls tbat are good for parties, rides, visits, balls, &e., and whose chief delight is in such things. The other is the kind that appears best at home —the girls that are useful and cheerful in the dining room, sick room, and all tho precincts of home. They differ widely in character. One is often a torment at home: the other is a bles sing. One is a moth, consuming everything a bottt her; the other is a sunbeam; inspiring life and gladness along her pathway. WOOLDN'T WORK.- —Seven or eight hundred of the negroes who were sent from Cincinnati' to Covington, to workon tho fortifications there, refused to labor, and were* brought back and placed in confinement under guai'd. WHOLE NUMBER, SO© WHERE ARE WE DRIFTING When we want to discover whither we arc drifting, and how far we have gone from r.afe harbor, all we have to do is to recur to the or iginal land-marks. With this view we subjoin some extracts fjoin the Declaration of Independ ence and from the Constitution of the United States.—When our fathers grew tired petition ing the British Crown against grievances, and protesting against usurpalionst, hey took up arms, and gave their reasons—some of which we an nex—in a memorable paper, known to this day as the UKCI.AR.VnOV OF INDEPENDENCE. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injures arid u sgr pat ions, all having in direct object thecstnls llslnncnt of an absolute tyranny over these {States. He has affected to render the military inde pendent of, and superior to the civil power. lie has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our Constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws. For depriving us, in many cases, of the ben- ! tits of trial by jury. For transporting us beyond seas to 1 e tried for pretended offenses. These reasons were held than fo be Pound and sufficient, and to this day the whole civilized world holds the same opinion of them. The Revolution over and independence a chieved, the Fathers of the Republic met in convention to frame a Constitution for the safe and better government of the states" which, at a great expenditure of blood and treasure, they rescued from British thraldom; and to save their descendanth from outrages an 1 aggres sions similar to those practiced upon themselves by the king of Great Britain, they did as they supposed, so distinctly define and limit the ex tent df power entrusted to each department of the national government, so clearly indicate the reserved rights of the individual States, and so securely hedge around with safeguards the rights and personal liberty of the citizen, thatj there could be no (Tanger of encroachments l>y the central government, and consequently no cause for dissatisfaction oil the part of the States or insurrection or revolution on the part of the people. How far their expectations have been realized, history will declare. As far as human foresight, profound wisdom, huge experience, an 1 an humble trust in Divine Providence could enable them to make a perfect Constitution, they succeeded. To the President, by virtue of the civil func tions of the office, and as a Commander-in-Chief of the army and navy, is comntitted the faith ful execution of the laws; by and with the ad (Vico and consent of the Senate, he may perform the" of outh. Constitution of the United States. OF THE EXECUTIVE. 8. Before lie enter on the execution of bis office, he shall take tile following oath or affir mation : "I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute tho office of President of the United States, and will, to the best of my abil ity, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitu tion of the United Status." OF THE LEGISLATURE. ART. 1 , Sec. 1 . All legislative powers here in granted shall be vested in a Congress of the U nitod States, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representative. SEC. 8. The Congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes, duties, imposts, and excises, to pay the debts and provide for the common defence and general welfare of the United States. To make all laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into execution the fore going powers, and all other powers vested by this Constitution in the Government of the U nited States or in any department or officer thereof. SEC. 0. The privilege of the writ of habeas corpus shall not bo suspended, unless when in cases of rebellion or invasion the public safety may require, it. OF THE JUDICIARY. ART. R, SEC.2. The trial of all crimes, except in eases of impeachment, shall he by jury, and such trial shall lie held in the State where the said crimes shall have been committed within any State, the trial .shall bo at such place or places as Congress may by law have directed. SEC. .'l. Treason against the United Stares shall consist only in levying war against tlieiu, or in adhering to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort. No person shall he Convicted of treason, unless on the testimony of two wit nesses to the same overt act, or confession in o pen court. * CONSTITUTION. ART. a. No person shall be held to answer for a capital or otherwise infamous crime, un less on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in eases arising in the land or na val forces, or in the militia when in nctual ser vice in time of War or public danger. Aur. G. In all criminal prosecutions, tlicaccus de shall enjoy the right tosjieedy andpublio trial, by an impartial jury of tlio state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascer tained by law, and to lie informed of the nature and cause of the accusation ; to he confronted with the witness against him ; to have compul sory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor; and to have the assistance of ceunsel for his defence. These are extracts from tho Constitution made by our fathers after they had emerged from British tyranny. This constitution tho President of the United Stbtes has to "preserve, protect and defend" to the "best of my [his] ability." It seems that the Constitu tion vests in. Xfbm-enn alone the right to suspend the writ of habeas cotpusi, and that only in ea- l ' ■ ' - ' v "fc v * Hatea of 2liißtrtising One Squire, three weens or lew. $1 0(1 One Square, each additional iniertion leia than three month 2< j 3 HOITIIS. 8 MOJITHS. 1 TKAR One square • $2 00 $3 00 $a 00 Two square 3 00 sO O 900 Three 400 700 12 00 li Column gOO 900 15 00 § Column ........ 800 19 00 90 00 J Column 12 00 18 00 3* 0 0 One Column ...... 1% 00 30 Ott ,00 00 The space ocrii£ie(JJ|iy ten tbli,*iue of type counts one square. All fractions of a square under live lines will be measured as a half square and all over five lines as a full square. All legaj dvcrtisements will be charged to the person hanci jngthem in. VOL. 6. NO. 11 scs, during the existence of "rebellion or inva sion,' when ''the public safety may reqire it. Hits the Congress sus|>ended the privilege of habeas corpus ? No ! 1 his it authorized the President to suspend it? No! lias it the right to authorize the President to suspend itNo! The Congress cannot dele gate the right." * lias it been suspended ? Yes! ' By whom ! The President. Does the "Public safety" require its suspen sion in (lie loyal .States, where there-is neither "rebellion" nor "invasion," and where the ad ministration of law is unimpeded ? No! None I but a fool or a knave will say it docs. And yet it has been suspended ? Yes! And j by the President? Yes! l>y what authority? I Certainly neither bv the authority of the Con [ stitatiou nor of Congress—the former does not I give the authority in any case, and tho latter neither has norcan-and as those arethc only two sources which we know of from whence ho might derive ft, it must be that there isatithori ty for the suspension which we arc ignorant of. or lie has assumed the fearful responsibility of the act without any authority at all. WANT CF CONFIDENCE. A little Frenchman loaned a merchant s.>dod, when times were pood. lie called at the coun ting house a few days since, in a state of agita tion not easily described: 'How do you do ? inquired the merchant. 'Hick—very sick,' replied the monsieur. 'Whnt is tlvc matter ? 'Do times is dc matter.' 'Dcthnes —what disease is that V 'Do maladio what break all de merchants ver much.'' 'Ah—the times, eh ?—well, they are had, very bad, sure enough;. but how do they affect you !' 'Vy, monsieur, I lose do confidence!' 'lu whom V 'ln every body.' 'l'ardonnez moi, monsieur, but Ido not know who to trust at present, when all de merchants break several times, all to pieces. 'Then I presume you want your money.'- 'Oui, monsieur, I starve for want of far d-nt.' , 'Can't you do without it V 'No, monsieur; I must have him.* 'You must V 'Oui, monsieur ;'said little dimity breeches, turning pale with apprehesion for the safety of his money. _ ~ 'And you can't do without it t* 'No, monsieur, not von other lectio moment longaro.' The merchant reached his bank-book, drew 'fc.fSUSp " !lA Commercial for the a- Vat is (lis. monsieur 0 ?'"" •'A check for five thousand dollars with the interest.' 'ls it hon ? said the Frenchman, with nmaze mont. 'Certainly.' 'llavo you tie C argent in do bank ?' 'Yes.' 'And is it pefait men convenient to pay de> sum V 'Undoubtedly. What astonishes you V 'Vy, dat you have got him in dees times.' 'Oh, yes, and I have plenty more. I owe nothing that I cannot pay at a moment's no tice.' The Frenchman was perplexed. 'Monsieur, you shall do me one leetlc favor, eh V 'With all my heart.' 'Veil, Monsieur, you shall hocp de Targent for mo some leetlc year longare.' 'Why I thought you wanted it.' 'Tout an contrairc. I not de Fargot —l vant de grand confidence. Suppose you not got de money den I vant him ver much; suppose you got him, den I not vant hiin at all. Vous com prenet, oh V Alter some further conference, the little Frcnchmnn prevailed upon the merchant to re tain the money, and left the counting-house with n light heart, and a eountennncc very dif ferent from the one he wore when he entered. Ills confidence was restored, and although he did not stand in need of the money, he wished to know that his property was in safe hands. This little sketch has a moral, if the reader has sagacity enough to find it. A notorious scamp was brought not long ago , before an Onondago Justice. He was accused of having come the "strap-game" over a native. The portly Justico wishing to decide under- requested the culprit to give him a sample of his skill. The parly instantly pro duced a leather strap gave it a scientific whisk across the bench, and remarked! "You see Judge, the quarter under the strap?" "What!" interrupted the dignified function my, "do you mean to say that there is a quar ter there 1" "Nartin!" was the reply. "No such thing," said the Justice. "I'll go you a dollar on it," said the prisoncK "Agreed!" said the Henich. With accustomed adroitness the strap was' withdrawn, when lo! there was the quarter! "Well," said the astonished Shallow, "I wouldn't havo believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own oyes! There is yonr dollar, and you arc fined jice dollars for gambling, contrary to the statuo in such case made and provided!" The elongated countenance of the discomfit ed gambler required no additional evidence to testify his appreciation of "the suck." "There's two ways of doing it J' said Eat td himself, as ho Mood uuising a jrm, "if I stive die four'thftulariclciMlars I'must,._ lay up two -hundred dolhrs a ysrc. £ years, or I can put aVay twenty dollars a year tor two hundred w -* 9
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