\ 451*1 .TIE T;. KEW SERIES. 'THE BEDFORD GAZETTE JS ri'RUSHKn KVFRT FRIDAY MORNING BY MFA'KRS A BEN'fORD, At the following terros, to v. ■'. s sl.-50 per annum, CA-i, in advance. Si.oo " " it paid within the year. $"2.50 " n not paid within the year. subscription taken tor 'ess than six months. CyNo paper discontinued nntil all are pan), unless at the option of the publishers. It has been decided by the United States Courts, that the rtpppvgp of a newspaper without the payment of ar rearages. is prima facie, evidence ot fraud and is a criminal offence. Ci?" The courts have decided that person* are ac countable tor the subscription price of newspapers, if they fake them from the. pot office, whethertbe y subscribe for them, or not. POETRY. "LIFE ON THE OCEAN WAVE." ••A life on the Ocean Wave !" The man who v. tote it was green; lie never has been to sea. And a storm he has never em. He never has been amused From the rooming's gentle dore By the sound of splashing wafer, As it fell from the horrid hose! He never has heard a roan Scrubbing right over his head. With a noise sufficient to rouse From the grave the slumbering dead. lie never has seen a fat woman Growing thinner day by day. And b ailing over the vessel's side. Throwing herself away; While people look carelessly on. Though in tears 'he woman may be. And unfeelingly y it is nothing a' ail, ONLY the roll of the sea. At d O ! he bas never been sea-sick And crept into bed in his coat. While every motion increased his Titnors, And his rt:r.MSGS were ail in his throat. T v a" m an rr.av have sailed in a hoar, In some puddle, or on a sound; But if he ha- teen to sea and wrcf.- Such a sor.g, he deserves to !>-.* drowned. [X. Y. Spirit 01 the Times. ornix u. n. myrcy-ihs just WINTER'S EXPEDITION. [From the Washington Union.] T lis able officer is now in Wis cilv under or- ; d"rs for special duly. The expedition of Caplain Marcy from Frxt • Rridger to New Mexico last winter, on which he was despatched by General Johnston, for the | procurement of horses, mules, and cattle for the army at Camp Scitt, was one ol the most re markaole cn record. The route he pursued. . ■which lav in a pretty direct line acr .ss the j T'fiinty ar.d Rocky Mountain chains, had been traversed before in the summer tin e by hunters ; and trappers, but had always been set UOWR, ven by those hardy mec, as impracticable in the winter season. The old mountaineer Biid- | ger pronounced the expedition impracticable, i Captain Marcv set out from Fort Bridger, how ever, on the 27th November last, wiih furti soldiers, twenty-two citizens, thirty days' ra lions, and sixty-live mules, anil reached Fott Massachusetts, New Mexico, six hundred and j thirtv miles Irom Camp Scott, with the loss ol bo! a single man, on the 17th ol Janua-y.j performing the journey in life depth of w inter. Immediately after entering the mountains, (wp derive our information from official pipers,, the snow became so deep thai it was iropossi- j b!r lor the animais in their jailed state to make ! any progrcis through it. Forty men were! accordingly placed in advance of the mules to j break a tiack for them. This"course, which j v.a# pursued from day today, enabled the party , slowly to lorce its way up the western slope of the mountains ;but the snow rapidly increased in depth a< they advanced, when, as they approach- j ed the summit of the mountains, it lay about j five f-et deep upon the level, and here the lead- j irg men were obliged to crawl on their hands cad knees to prevent sinking to their necks. The progress of the party was necessarily very •low, and although they labored ir.od faithfully every dav ftom daylight till dark, yet they advanced only nineteen n.iles in five days.— j The animals finding no forage, except the pine j leaves, became weaker continually. Many oj t ->rr, had died, and those remaining were redu- j ciutoa state bordering on starvation. The! trajority of the men had worn out their shoes . before one-half of the journey was performed, and, owing to their exposed condition, several had their feet badly frozen, rendering it ex caedingly painful for them to march or to sleep On of January the rations were ail consumed, and the party were reduced to necessity of subsisting upon such animals as be ramk exhausted and could perform no further) s-rUce. Tliis meagre and unwholesome diet! with men who were undergoing the most in-j t.'n|ely severe iaborthat the human system .is '• 'v.spnble of sustaining, soon told upon them, and titer a few days they became weak and emacia ted, while the amount of labor they could per- ! form senaib'y diminished. Vet this Utile band ! of excellent soldiers, all of whom had volunteer- ■ ed for this severe service, performed the hard ' la*k allotted them cheerfully and with alacrity, and not one of them uttered a murmur or manifes ted the slightest insubordination. The brave men had undertaken the difficult and dangerous service for the laudable purpose o ( - procurirg food and. animals for the comrade,, they had left at Camp Scott, who, (her:.* was ' ' good reason to believe, from the famished con . • di'.ion of the small number ofanimals which re -1 mained to them nfrer the long march from I F.-rt L-avenworth, and the attacks of the Mor monson the train, would be in a condition of want before the party could return. It i< known that Captain Marcv obtained the j desired supplies in New Mexico, except Arneri j can horses, and that he returned safety to Camp Scott with his welcome purchases. | The return route of the expedition was from i Fort Union ov-r the Raton Mountains ; thence i skirting the western base of the Rocky .Moun tains, across the head waters of the Arkansas and Sooth Platte rive.-s to Bridger's pass at the ■ Laramie river : thence along Bryan's trail to ' Sage creek : tbence north across to Bitter creek' and down that to Green river, and to Camp Scolt 'ho whole making a distance of seven hundred and forty miles. " it is a noticeable Get in regard to this road, that it a fiords a passage from the waters ot the . . Atlantic to those ot the Pacific without g-.-ing ■ over a mountain. The ascent to the summit ; level of the Rocky Mountain chain is here so very gentle as to be a'rrcst inpercep!ible. and for sixty mih > upon the phferre forming !he divi ; ding ridge the eye cannot distinguish which coinse the wot.: takes. It wilt fie remembered that great apprehen i si on was felt lest the Mormons who, in strong ! parties, were sent out to waylay Ca; t. Marcv, should succeed in stampeding the animals ami cattle he was bringing in from New Nexico.— i . =>3 : This ' (ficer, inr.-ever, ha i effectually provided ! I against any such disa-'" r. tie had enlisted in j his partv, while in New Mexico, all the expo- I j . I nenced hunters, mountain and frontier men that j could be found, and thus was prepared on J j the offensive by anticipating the enemy and j ' stampeding their own horses and mules. There | is' no doubt that fh-v would have astoun-' ' | (led the Mormons by completely succeeding in j this projec', had they fallen in with him in their ! scouting excursions. Claps. Marey i* the author of the valuable re port on Salt Like Valley, which has been pub- ! iished by the government, in a large volume, j and U which the country is indebted lor nearly i all its accurate information in regard io the Mormon country. I I > REMARKABLE LEAP OF A LOCOMOTIVE- j Tne Cincinnati Gazette graphically describes a remaikable incident which occurred at the. Little Miami Railroad Depot on laT Wednes- , ; day rnoruiug, as follows : About fifteen minute- before six o'clock, the ; engine *• Washington," belonging to the Marie!- , la and Cincinnati road, started down 'he track, i some half or three quarters ot a iniie, for the : purpose of bringing til- empty cars to the depot preparatory to making up the 6.15 th train, the engine being under ttie control ola man eniplov - e.l a bout the yard .and not Ihe regular engine t. About haifa mile from the depot, the man in i charge discovered an engine of the Little Miami ; road backing down to the depot for the purpose | ot taking out the morning train for Cleveland. Fearing a collision, the person in charge of the Marietta engine, reversed, and jumped from the j machine. A minute after, the two engines i came together, when the impetus given to the : Marietta engine, together with the Lrce of the ; reversed power, started it towards the depot i with the velocity of a rocket. The down grade j gave it additional headway, and i_t bounded a : long the track like a fiend incarnate, bel | chir.g forth tire and smoke to the distance ot twenty or thirty feet from the track, and lileial ! Iv bounding from the iron rails, threatening destruction to every thing that impeded its prn ) gross. Experienced judges of the speed of rail way trains, who saw this engine on its light ' ning travels, say that it could not have been going at a less rate than seventy-five to one hundred mi/rs an hour I Its final bringing up shows that their calculations could not have bpen far out of the wav. Upon the track in the depot the morning train, consisting of some four or five cars had been j made up, and uith about one hundred passengers j had got upon the track. Almost before the per sons standing by could realize that an engine had . entered one end of the depot, the iron steed had bounded through the entire length, de molished an eighteen inch brick wait, timbers and all, at the rear, leaped across two road tracks —one aoout ten feet below the other without touching either, and imbedded itself in a huge pile of coal.in the yard of J. Cochnower ! The distance leaped, from the wall of the depot to the lamp of the engine, could not have been j less than seventy-five feet J nil this dis tance, through the demolished wall of the depot, 'it dragged the tender loaded with wood, with j out breaking the couplings. • i Q.Tp'Davv Crockett happened 'to be present ■ iat an exhibition- of animals-in the citv of; Washington, wiie*e a monke'v'-Seemed attcact ( his attention, and he observed : 4t Jf that fellow I had a pairot -pectacles, be would look like Major i Wright, ©f Ohio." The Major happened to be I just behind Crockett, and tapped Davy's shoul der. Turn trig around Davy very formally re marked : "I'll be hanged, Major, if I kuow i whose pardon to ask, your's or the monkey BEDFORD, PA., FRIDAY MORNING, DECEMBER 10,185a , MEETLYG OF THE MG.YSTr.RS. BY ri.TCA MARJXC TELEGBAMI. At a meeting of the monsters of the deep, pj held at (.'; <> Breton,yesterday afternoon, the Prince of Wales was chosen President. He sta ted the object of the meeting to he to decide up on the merit- of the Atlantic Cable, it probable unhingement upon the rights of original settlers, an I generaiiv to consider whit it all meant. — ' Suddenly, he saifi, they found this cable thrust - d ivn among them, which was calculated to f deceive the small fry, as they deemed that it was something to eat. He hims-lf had rubhed his nose against if, hut could make no impres ; sion upon i'. It was a iiltle matter, but sfil! it was to be looked at as opening away in ■ their domain, and he wished for a tree exprea j sion on the opinion o! the meeting. He was convinced that though 'hey were fish tlmy wouldn't be scalv about the iua!ter, and if every thing was satisfactory, he for one would say, let it slide. Thomas Cud, E-q., was one that had b'-en deceived by the line, mid had, in his efforts t; Lite it, broken out several of his front teeth.— [A voire in the crowd—"Go to the dentist's and get some new one*, and charge them to the telegraf h company."] He heard the sugges tion, anct perhaps should profit by it, but his i feelings were outraged by the deception. J. Shark, Esq., of the detective force, said that as he wa- chasing a delinquent mullet., he can e in contact with the line, and received a severe injurv in iis head. lie begged the com- i jmv to look at the wound. [He removed a large piece of kelp and revealed a deep ma k over his right eye.] He confessed that lie hsr! been slaggered hv the blow, and asked if tfee company would see anybody injured in that way. Sergeant Sword fish, of the Marines, declared that he had been startled by what be had heard. The domain of the main h id been invaded, and he, for onp, was ready to throw away hu scab bard, and go and saw off the cable. King Fish, Esq., took the same view a' his military friend, and went in for cutting off. Mr. Horse McArel thought there wav cause to suspect anything in this line they couldn't > see the end of. For his part he all re spectable fish should raise their tongues ahd ; sounds against it. | Jolly Porpoise, E-q., rose to speak, when 1 every fin ceased to vibrate, and a Universa! j smile spread over the audience. He said he < had not cards to make a .-p< ■ ~lr fcmt he- V! 3- *or j the opinion that lie might say something,as he usually did when he spake. He was for intro ducing pacific measures, even though this was in the Atlantic. [Laughter.] He was not one to believe that that line was going to affect any ! fish that was not a chowder hea !. [Hear,"Lear.] ; II fish could confine themselves simply to cold Water, there would be no dinger. For Ins ; part he was disposed to blow for the new line, i [Cheers.] Mr. O'Shur. Sha ! I had come to listen rather ! than take any active part in the business of th ■ meeting, but he and his companion, Mr. Blue fish, from a summer visit to the Clades, had i learned to respect Yankee prowess, and would say if that enterprising class of animals ha 1 anything to do with the present mysterious ar j ranc hmen!, he wouldn't oppose it, because it ; would do no good. It was bound logo. Mr. Bbiefisii responded, "That's sofind a voting i'autog. whose anc*tois bad fallen at Compton, wiped away a briny tear,as he endor sed the response. ! . Mr. Deepsea Cod didn't fee much cause for j uneasine**, although he could not tee! a direct interest in the matter, as, thanks to science, he was now master ola little ile'of his own, which occupied biro, in which his interest was con i centialed. .1 he civ of "Liver" he had just : heard in the crowd, did not ailect him. IF • threw back the imputation, and would say that j through his fiver many human lights had been I kept from going out. He was a philanthropist, j and was willing to sacrifice himself as long as it j would pay. Mr. Bigg Blackfish did not apprehend much 1 trouble from if, only he was opposed to all iti -1 novations. He didn't believe in any new fangled notions at all, and thought that by consenting to l-t the I cable remain, they were encouraging the va ! garies of the fish out of water." He would i move the passage of the following resolution : Resolved, '] hat the long line across our ler j ritory is an infringement, and should not beal j lowed. i 7'its resolution was discussed bv Messrs. Cod, | Ilaadock, Dolphin, and others chiefly in oppo - silion, when the resolution was lost. It was then voted that the cable be allowed j to remain, and the proceedings were or[j;red to be published, to be furnished through the cable, j i a battery of electrical eels having volunteered 1 their services fertile occasion. After thanking the president for the polite and impartial manner in which he had dischar ■ ged his outies, the meeting dissolved in deep water.— Boston Gazette. • A PRLYTER LY COURT. A suit came off the other day in which a printer named Kelvev was a witness. The case was an. assault and battery that came off be ; jween Brown and Henderson, j 'Mr, Kefyev„did you witness the affair re i fscreji to ?' fi. j 1 'Yeasir.f . . 'Well,what, have you to say about it ?' 'i hat it was the best piece of punctuation I have seen for some time.' 'What do you mean by that V 'YVhy that Brown dotted one of Henderson's eyes, for which Henderson put a period to S Brown's breathing for about a half a minute.' I The Court comprehended the matter at once, j and fined the defendant fifty dollars. Freedom of Thought and Opinion. ■ .. - 1 A'ELSO.Y LEE S ACCOUNT OF W 11.11 HE SAW ./MOA'G THE CAMA. YCIIES. Th" Albany Knickerbocker noiics the return > to that city of Nelson who was taken priso " . nr by the Camanche Indians in 1556, near Eagle P*s?, while on his way from Texas to California. He furnishes the following : Lee* fife was spared because the Indians ' "Could not manage a repeating watch which he carried. The watch saved his life. In the Ca ! manche camp Mr. Lee found no less than t wen ' !y-eight captured while women and some thirty or forty children. A day or two after he ar rived j,| camp, they mas acred an English wo man nam°d Anna Haskin, in a most cruel man i ner. j hey tied her riakeii to a trpe, and in the presence ol her two daughters, Margaret and Harriet Haskin, inflicted the most revolting ■ cruelties upon her. Before Mrs. Haskin was finally despatched, she was tortured for neariv hail a day, during which time the Indians be -1 came excited with liquor, and danced abonf her : like so many demons. They took sharp pieces - of flint and cut her flesh in all possible direc tions. Mrs. Haskin and her daughters were j captured while on their way to the Mormon ettlement a | a |{ Lake. The daughters still remain with the Indians. Their ages are 17 ; a*id 19. Lee made his escape in the following | mannpr: He was accompanying the chief of i the Camanches to a lodge some miles distance. During the tramp they met a party of Indians, the Indians gave the chief a skin filled with li quor. The chi, f drank of the spirits and be-' i came excited. Arriving at a creek he dismoun ted and stooped down to drink. At this mo-j ment 1.e.. seizefl his tomahawk, split his h'-al i open arid killed him instantly. He then took . the chief's rifle, mounted the chief's horse, and j put for Mexi'O. When he reached Mexico he j was completely naked, while bis feet and legs were so swoien from being cut by the cactu* plant, tfial he could go only some eight miles a day. Trie last hundred miles he did on iot, j his horse having died of exhaustion. TbeMex- i leans treated him very kindly, and gave f im money and clothing to reach home. The ! clothes he now wears in Albany are those given him by the Mexicans. rr.ws DEED FROM THE IXDIAXS J IX !<:?.% This indenture witnessed! that we, Packenah, : Jarckham, S:ka!s, Part piessott, Jervis, Essepen auk, Fell,troy, Hekellanpan, Econns Machtdo na, Mettheonga, Wassa Powery, Indian Kings, <i>chemakers right owners n| nil lands from Quing Quingas, called Duck Creek, unto Up- I land, called Chester Creek, all along by the west ol Delaware river, and so between the said creeks back ware as far as a man can ride in two days with a horse, for ami in considera tion of these following goods, to us in hand paid bv William Per.n, proprietary and Cover- i nor o{ the province of Pennsylvania antLTerrito ri-'s thereof. v:7. : CO guns, 20 fathom? milchcoa?, 50 fathom; strand water, 100 bars of iead, 10 tomahawks, 100 knives, 4S pair of stockings, 1 bar: -! of beer, 20 barrels red lead , 100 fathoms of wam pum, 30 glass bottles, 30 pewter spvons, 100 awl blades, 300 tobacco pipps, 100 ham's of.; tobacco. 20 tobacco tongs, 50 steels, 300 flints, ' 30 paiis of scissors, 30 combs, 60 looking glasses, 200 needles, 1 skipple of salt, 30 pounds of sugar, 5 gallons of molasses, 20 tobacco boxes, 100 Jewsharps, 20 hoes, 3 ) gimMe. 30 wood en screw bo\-s, 100 strings of beads, Do here by Sic. Given underour hands, ice. j a! Newcastle, second day of the eight month, 1 1685. The above is a true copy from a copy taken j from the original, by Ephraim Morion, now liv ing in Washington county, Pa., formerly a clerk ; in the Land Oilice, which copy he gave to Wm. Stratton, and from whicti the above was taken ; in Little York, this 7th day of December, 1813. ; CARE or THE EYES. —Crawford, the cejebra- I ted sculptor, had an inveterate habit of reading i in a reclined position : one eve had to be taken ; out in consequence ola cancerous tuinor form ing behind it, and his life lias paid the forfeit, alter years of suffering and the expenditure of a large amount of money. I'rescolt, the histo rian, in consequence ot the disorder of a nerve, by which the eyes were rendered useless for all writing purposes, could not use a pen, as j he wasunaple to see when it failed.to make a mark for want of ink ; nor CHild he distinguish 1 the lines on the edges of his paper; vet, with j disadvantages, he wrote ail his historical;, using j an agate stylus on carbonated paper, being gui- j ded as to the lines and edges by brass wires drawn terouaiia wooden frame ; but with all j these hindrances he has made himself one of the j most readable of modern historians, and earned J a fortune besides. Toavoid these calamities we ■' I urge, upon l he young especally, never to use the : eyes bv any artificial light where nicety of j sight is required, not to use them in any strained ! position, or v. hile riding in rail-cars ot carriages. | We urge upon parents, in view of the many incuiable eye diseases to caution their children against r-admg by twilight ; that is not before j sunrise nor after sunset. It wouid be greatly better not to allow them to read or s'ew by any artificial light; but, if that is unavoidable, let I it be impetative that they cease at nine o'clock ! at night in summer and by ten at farthest in J wiuter. It is a 'tost inexcusable folly, and j will sooner or later biing its puuishment, to j read or sew by gas, or lamp, or candlelight,, and then sleep after daylight next morning as j , a habit. To persons ot all ages it is a most'in ; qriuus practice.. — Hull s. Journal of Heuihc. o-enlieinan iu an eating house the other ' day, looked in vaia for a biii ot fare. Not , finding one, lie inquired of a waiter : Will you bring me a programme ? Yes sir, he replied, will you have it boiled 1 or roasted ? I j The gentleman fearing it might be rather j indigestible, declined both propositions. 1 | BRLYG OUT YOUR POU.YD C.IKE. ; Among the company of ag rand five dollar ball 1 , given 3t New Orleans last spring in honor of - j some public event, was a green'un, who had r | never seen anything of the kind u| on so grand ) a scale and was totally at loss to understand the j ridiculous, new fangled dances which prevailed. ; Paying an enormous price for a ticket and tiav ' ! ing been fasting for some time in anticipation • of the fete, his whole thoughts wen directed to the enjoyment in that line in store lor him. He strode up and down the saloon with his hands in his pantaloons pockets accosting every waiter j he encountered with : | "Boy, look here, is supper mosl ready ?" At last supper was announced, and in rushed our hero in advance of everybody, and seating himself about thecentreof the table b-gan to | beckon every waiter whose eye he could catch, j but no one to his indignation, approached him until after the ladies had been seated and ser ved when he was asked whether he would take ■ some ham. " I tarn exclaimed he, with most profound : astonishment, "Do vou 'spose sir, I can eat ; five dollars worth of ham 1 Brin g us some of your pound cuke nnd stch like J Drr. O. VV. HOLMES.—A writer in the Bos | ton Transcript says : "While every newspaper in this country has been full of the Autocrat's ; praises, ha quoted his poetry, his puns and his epigrams, we learn that literary men in En i gland give him even higher commendation.— j Several London journals have alluded to these papers in high terms,but from private sonices we have more reliable opinions. At a dinner party in London some months ago, Thackeray i spoke of this series of pap-rs as among the fore ! most in modern literature, ami adding with em phasis. that no living Englishman could have written them. VVilkie Collins after allud ing to these articles, and to the new essavs of E n-r --son, said that with such contributions the Atlan tic .Monthly need not h-ar cvmpetjtion anywhere ;in the civdiz d world. And recently Char les R-*ade, alluding to the Atlantic .Monthly, held tliis language : "The stories are no worse | than Blackwood's and Fras-*r.s, See., and some lof the other matter is infinitely beyond oar monthly and trimestriai scribblers, being genuine in thought and English in expression : j whereas what passes tor ci it lcism here is too often a mere mixtute of cnck-oo and hee-haw, a set of conventional phrases turned, not in English, but in Norman Ftench and the jargon ol the schools. 1 After fiv'-and twenty years of these * * * ! without a ?pa r k of thought, novelt yor life among them, I turn to such papers a the "Autocratof the Breakfast Tdbfe" with a sense of relief and freshness." SOME NOSE. Deacon C -. of Hartford, Conn., is we!! known as being provided with ian enormous handle to his countenance, in the shape of a huge nose ; in fdct it was remarkable . for its great length. On a late occasion, when taking up a collection in the church to which '■ !.- longed, as he passed through !li congrega tion every person ta whom he presented the box seemed to ho n ssess'd ; v a sudden and un-1 . controllable desire to laagh. The deacon did ; not know what to make of it. He had olten passed it round b-tore,bul no such effect had he witnessed. The dt.icon was fairly puzzled. The secret, however, leaked out. He had been afflicted a das' or two with a sore on his naal j appendage, and had placed a small piece of i ; sticking plaster over it. During the miming j of the day in question, the planter had dropped ' off; the deacon seeing it. as he supposed, on the floor, picked it up and stuck it on again.— : But, alas for men who sometimes make great mistakes, he picked up instead a pi-ce of paper which file manufacturers of spool cotton paste on the end of every spool, and which reads "Warranted to hold out 200 yards." Such a sign on such a nos* was enough to upset the • gravity of any congregation. 03?"~Few ©ersons are pethnps aware of the, ; extent and value of the British opium trade ! ! with China, though every one knows that the first war of England with China was waged for the purpose of the protection of that trade.— From authentic sources we know that the value of the opium brought into their ports by British vessels from the British East Indies is over i fifty millions of dollars a year. The incidental r | value of the traffic is still greater to England, j for the opium answers the purpose of specie in the purchase of teas and other commodities ot ! China. The revenue derived from th-* impor tation ol teas, which are the proceeds of the i j opium, is about as large as the entire receipts I of the United States from customs during }fie past year. A NOVEL WAGER. —We have noticed a great rr.anv siiiv election bets, but her- i-: one men tioned by the Troy papers which b-ats all : A gentleman named, Fanshavy, residing in Sara toga county, offered to allow'one Sanderson to burn down his cow-house, if Judge Parker fail ed to get 15,000 majority for Governor. Mr. Sanderson won the privilege of touching off the | cow-house. Mr. Sanderson touch-d off the cow-house, and the cow-house was burned to i the ground. In burning the cow-hocs-, Mr. ■ Sanderson aiso burned two cows, worth §9O ; Fanshaw admits that his friend had a perfect right to bn:n the house, but not the cattle.— ; , For doing this latter, Fanshaw his commenced a suit against Sanderson. , . . - YANKEE ALL OVE... —Bayard Taylor says that a Yankee in walking in St. Pet-rsburgh on i v. muddv day met the Grand Duke Constantine. | The sidewalk was not wide enough for two to ) pass and the str-et was very deep in filth, where- ! upon the American took a silver rouble from I his pocket shook it in his closed hand, and cried out, "Crown, or Tail ?" "Crown," guessed (he < .Grand Duke. "Your Highness has won." said [the American, looking at the roubfe, and s'ep j ping into the mud. The next day the Yankee 1 wa* invited by the Grand Duke to dinner. j WHOLE *l7l BE R 2^27. j NATOLEON having entered one of the cs*e of Italy, the church wardens recommended (o htm ; the reliques of (heir church, f "Sire, will you deign to take our apostles uo | der vour protection?" I "Your apostles; are they wood?*' .\o, sire." "Of what are thev, thpn." "Of silver, sire—of solid silver." "S did silver !" replied \apofeon, quickly, "yes I shall help jhein to fulfill their mission; it has been ordained that they would go through out the world, and they shall." R Having said so, the Emperor sent the twelve Apostles to the mint at Parrs. ill you help me out ofthsmud hole V* said a traveling druggist, who had just ben compelled to stop his team in a mud hole, be cause they couldn't pull it out. "\o, T can.t stop," said the Yankee, who was heavily loaded, and was featful that he would be too late for the cars. "I would take it as a great favor, besides paying you," said the druggist. "What are you loaded with?" a<ked the Yankee. "Drugs and medicines," was thereplv. Ml guess I'll try and get you out, then, lor I aria loaded with tombstones." Thev were seen traveling iog-th-T after that. W HERE THE Sine 1 IMU:;R COMES FROM.— Maine js thought by many to be covered with forests, and here and there a cleared spot where civilization has made advances ; and v p t our ship-builders go out of the Stat ? ti get'nearly all the wood usej in construedon of <nr ships. The oak comes from Virginia and Maryland, the yellow pirre from Pennsylvania, while the knees are brought from Canada and the Provin ces, leaving very little as the product of the Maine forests. Buth Times. • SIR WALTER SCOTT ON CARD PLAYING. "To dribble away life," says Sir Walter Scott, "in exchanging bits of painted pasteboard round a green table, for the paltry concern of a few shillings, can only be excused in folly or superannuation. It is like riding on a rockin? horse, where your utmost exertion never carries you a foot forward :it is a kind of a mental treadmill where you are perpetually climbing but where yon can never raise an inch." A YOUTHFI I. MOTHER. —The official return of the Overseers of the Poor, in the town nf Taunton, mentions that Elizabeth Drav ton was eleven years old on the 24-th day of May, 1858, and became the mother of Horace White Drayton on the Ist day of February, ISSS -three months and twenty four davs be fore she was eleven vears old. TF"An impatient Vfelchman calling- fo his wife, said : •Come, com", isn't breakfast ready ? Eve had nothing since yesterday, and to-morrow will be the third day " This is equal to the call of the stirring house wife, who arroused h-r maid at four o'clock, with, 'Come, Bridget, get up; Here 'tis Mon ; day morning; to-morrow's Tuesday, and the next day's Wednesday—half the week gone and nothing done yet.' novas or SLEET. Mature requires five. Custom, gives seven ! Lnziness takes nine, And wickedness eleven ! A lady wishing a seat in a crowded ha!!, a handsome gentleman brought a chair. "You are a jeweHp' sai i she. "Oh, no !lam a jeweller; I have just set the jewel." ! r7*""Fafher I want you to buy m? a gun." :"A gun, Willie! What are you going to do •villi a gun ?" "Oh. J am going fo fight Tommy Day: he says Susy Lake likes him better than she docs me." one inquires in the ,nam j cf Mrs. Partington, '.Why can't the Cap!ainof a vessel ke-p a memorandum of the weight of his an chor, instead of weighing it every time he leaves Port?' = - telf you, Susan, thai I will commit suicide if you won't have me." "Weil, Thnm a=. as soon as you have-given me that proof of your a .Taction T will believe that you love me." . .OCF7A. paper calling itself literary and miscellaneous, advertises that it intends to swal low up everything around it "like a great mael strom." We have little doubt that it will prove a great "take in." OF"" A lady aske I a noted doctor if he did not think tire small bonnets the ladies wore had a tendency to produce congestion of the brain. "Oh no," he replied, "ladies who have brain* won't wear them." IF*We think it is an undeniably, truth that the Africans, let them goto what part of the world they may, retain more unequivocally than an-v other people the odor of nationality, r iF"""Gono a ducking" is the lenn used for a young fellow in Arkansis, whpgoes to sit up with a vbung woman. 'John did yon ever bet on a horse-race ?" •No, but I've seen my Sister BH on an old mare." CATQ says, "the best way to keep good acts in memory is to refresh, them with n^v. OF"A great man will neither trample upon woman, nor cringe before a kick. , THE gay attire of the coxcomb makes him a leaden rapier in a golden sbeath, a cork-leg in a silk stacking. VOL % NO. 10.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers