812-Lancaster Farming, Saturday, December 22,2001 g Make Christmas Rich Without Blowing M The Family Budget Or Your Mind LOU ANN GOOD Food And Family Features Editor EPHRATA (Lancaster Co.) Making Christmas special for family and friends too often ends up with overextended budgets and frazzled nerves, which quick ly deletes warm memories and leaves little time to celebrate the original meaning of Christmas. “Christmas is Jesus’ birthday,” said Arlene Kreider, who believes that the real meaning of the holi day gets lost in the bustle of “things” began with good inten tions. Take the custom of exchanging presents originally began as a reminder that God gave his Son to the world. Unfortunately the concept of gift giving puts a fin ancial burden upon many fami lies because there is no end to the list of presents “required” for friends, family, coworkers, and acquaintances. Several years ago, Arlene and her husband Wilmer, who were dairy farming in Quarryville, ex amined the gift-giving concept. True, gift giving created happy memories in children, and some times in adults. But the Kreiders recognized that gift giving often promotes selfishness and detracts from the real meaning. In addi tion it is often a hassle to find a gift for those who really don’t need anything. “On birthdays, people don’t give gifts to everyone except the person whose birthday it is quite the contrary they give to the birthday person. In this case, that person is Jesus,” Arlene said. The Kreiders started the tradi tion of baking a birthday cake for Jesus and singing “Happy Birth day,” to establish the under standing within their own three children that Christmas is really Jesus’ birthday. The Kreider chil dren are now grown, but the fam ily continues the birthday cake tradition with the grandchildren that have expanded their family. “Instead of giving elaborate Christmas gifts to each other, we give larger gifts for each person on his or her birthday, and keep Christmas more simple,” Arlene said. Gift giving at Christmas is a time to give to those in need. De spite America being the land of plenty, there are many needy families who through illness or unfortunate circumstances need financial help not only at Christ mas but throughout the year. Arlene dislikes our culture’s materialistic message that expen- Having the children act out the Christmas story is a tradition passed down through several generations of the Martin, Kurtz, and Good families. Christmas celebrations for the Kreider family includes a birthday cake and singing “Happy Birthday” to the person Jesus for whom Christmas originated. Here are Grandma Arlene Kreider with her grandchildren, from left, Jalen, Emma, Katie, and Mark. sive gifts are a sign of love and caring. It’s much easier to focus on the things money can buy rather than the things that matter: rela tionships with family and Mends, satisfaction, peace, and joy. If gift giving really is impor tant to you, consider some of these ideas to lighten the finan cial load: Have each member in your extended family or guest bring one gift. Play “now you have it, now you don’t.” You’ve heard the saying that one man’s junk is another man’s treasure incorporate that idea into your gift giving. Have each guest bring something from their home that they no longer use or want but is in fairly good condi tion. Another words: exchange “used” gifts. If this sounds tacky, it’s only because you’ve never participated in one of these ex changes. It is absolutely delightful to unwrap a gift and find that vase you always admired at your Mend’s home. Or, to find a copy of the Guiness Book of Records and spend hours laughing over the silly, stupid, and amazing things that the human race achieves. This is also a way for the older generation to do the necessary downsizing that age often re quires. It is rewarding for a great grandmother to see her a young granddaughter appreciate receiv ing a family heirloom. “Our culture bombards us with idealized images of the holidays,” said Karen Bracey, extension agent for Wyoming County. When we can’t attain the “ideal” image of the perfectly de corated house, a massive amount of gifts fpr family and friends, and scrumptious holiday dinners and parties, we often feel disap pointed, upset or depressed. This contributes to holiday stress. Bracey recommends develop ing realistic expectations. Stick to a budget. Have realistic expecta tions about the sheer amount of things you will have time to do. Decide what is most important to you and your family. Do you need to have six difjEercnt variet ies of cookies to serve to Quests? If you enjby baking and have the time, youc answer might be “yes.” If baking isn’t your forte, forgo the traditional baking and concentrate" dn the things you enjoy. Today’s market enables you to purchase homemade cook ies and even factory-made ones that often taste just as good as those that require hours of slav ing over in your own kitchen. Perhaps you enjoy decorating your home with fresh greens and filling your yard with twinkling lights. These touches give you an emotional lift and certainly de lights passerby and visitors. Do it if you enjoy it, have the time, and can afford it. If the process makes you irritable and exhaust ed, don’t do it or at least reduce the amount of decorating you normally do. Do you always send stacks of Christmas cards to everyone you have ever met? With the price of cards and postage, that can make a hefty dent in your budget not to mention the time required to ad dress and sign all those cards. You may want to rethink wheth er or not this custom is as mean ingful to the recipients as it once was. An alternative to holiday card sending is to save those you receive. In January, select a card each day, and respond to the sender. You may want to add the message that you are thinking and praying for that person on that day. This method gives you more time to individualize your card and will, probably be more meaningful to the recipient also. Elaborate Christinas dinners are traditional, and one that fam ilies often cherish. But the time required to prepare a feast can be overwhelming to today’s busy Gifts That Last A Lifetime The first gift I will give my children is the gift of example. The second gift I will give my children is the gift of hugs. The third gift I will give my children is the gift of time. The fourth gift I will give my children is the gift of praise. The fifth gift I will give my children is the gift of guidance. The sixth gift I will give my children is the gift of communica tion. The seventh gift I will give my children is the gift of learning. The eighth gift I will give my children is the gift of laughter and play. The ninth gift 1 will give my children is the gift of responsibil ity. The tenth gift I will give my children is the gift of permission for their feelings. The eleventh gift I will give my children is the gift of permis sion for their mistakes. The twelfth gift I will give my children is the gift of freedom. Suggestions from Fay B. S trickier, M.S., CFCS and Sue Giacfaero Berks Co. Cooperative Extension housewife, especially if she works outside the home or is a relatively new cook. Share the workload. Instead of grandma or the hostess preparing all the food, have each guest bring a dish. Most are happy to prepare one of their favorite reci pes. This method enables the family to continue the tradition of the holiday feast without caus ing “kitchen distress.” Some families spend time around the piano singing Christ mas carols. Many love this tradi tion. If you’re family isn’t musi cally inclined, you can play Christmas music in the back ground. Some traditional observances can be adapted to include all family members. Have children reenact the Christmas story while a family member reads it from the Bible. As children grow older, they may be assigned speaking parts. Incorporate the talents of children or adults by having them [day a musical instrument or sing a solo. A few people ignore the whole holiday bustle by refusing to giv« gifts or decorate and some refuse to participate in family gather ings because of family grudges. Christmas is a good tune to put aside differences and show ap preciation to each other. Don’t expect your children to behave perfectly during the holi day season remember they don’t at other times of the year either. Sibling rivalry is a child hood trait. It is unrealistic to ex pect it to disappear during the holidays. As a parent, you can help re duce frustrations caused by nors mal childhood behavior. Don’t hang antique ornaments on the tree that only entices child hood curiosity. Keep holiday treats out of sight. No use in con? stantly tempting children and adults with overindulging in holi day goodies. If the tree falls over, try to re tain perspective. The story is sure to be retold and becomes more humorous with the re telling. A balanced and rewarding ap proach in dealing with holiday stress is to be adaptable and flex;| ible. Real families and real peo ple are not perfect. Don’t expect yours to be. Your family and your home might not qualify for the “ideal” media image, but they’re yours. If you relax and concentrate on what is impor tailt, you might discover that cel ebrating a “rich” Christmas is possible without blowing the budget or your mind.
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