Family living Focus by Adams Co. Extension Agent Nina Redding The Eyes Have It Reality really sets in as a par ent of a young child when you start to see your own behavior in your child’s behavior. Can any of you relate to that? I’ll never forget the day I cor rected my oldest who was three at the time, at the supper table. Garrison tilted his head to the side a bit and looked right at me with a real stern prolonged stare. I had a hard time looking at him looking at me. Quickly he said “Mommy look at me” and continued to give me the glare. You know it’s hard to disci pline when those cute little eyes are looking back at you and it seems Garrison knew that too! He had learned that his eyes are a powerful communication tool. Obviously I must do a fair amount of disciplining with my eyes without even saying a word. And, gee, how many times have I said to him, “Look at me when I’m communicating with you'” Did you know that when speaking, our words only have a 7 percent impact on what mes sage the listener receives. Nonverbal expressions account for 93 percent of the message the listener decodes. Truly our ONLY! $29.00 Year $57.00 years In PA. NJ. OH. MD. DE, NY. VA & WV (Other Areas $39 50 Per Year or $77 00 For Two Years) LANCASTER FARMING WILL SEND A GIFT CARD ANNOUNCING THE START OF THE GIFT SUBSCRIPTION actions speak louder than words So you say, why is this impor tant to me? Our degree of suc cess in many roles in life such as spouse, employee, business per son, employer, father, mother, child or friend depends on good communications. In this article today, we’ll start to think about our body language and how we can develop an awareness of the importance of nonverbal behav ior as you strive to continue building better relationships in our lives. Let’s begin by thinking about' our facial expressions and eye contact. Ralph Waldo Emerson was quoted as saying “Eyes of men converse as much as their tongues, with the advantage that the ocular dialect needs no dictionary, but is understood the world over.” Facial expressions are the most readily observed group of gestures. Stop pnd think about common facial expressions you are familiar with. Many have a commonly accepted meaning At sonle time or another many of us have experienced a “look that could kill," an “I don’t under stand look,” or an “I’m bored” expression. What does the expression I fS-i??: =£§?•; \ ftae^~ss£Ss&§£l^ *rsg,S^ “poker face” mean to you? Universally people express and recognized four basic emotions: happiness, sadness, anger and disgust. Do you know a spouse, rela tive or co-worker so well that you can tell how they feel about something you talk with them about without them even saying a word? At our house, Russell has this little thing he does with his eyes when I talk about doing something he doesn’t agree with or necessarily want to do. He doesn’t even realize he’s doing it.-' Our eyes are often a clue to thoughts and feelings the sender may be trying to hide. In normal conversations, you glance at a person for about a second and then glance away to show the speaker you are listening but not staring. If you avoid eye con tact, it will probably be inter preted as a sign of low self esteem, weakness or guilty feel ing. A longer meeting of the eyes is uncommon, and therefore can have special importance, indi cating anger, challenge or sexual attraction for example. Research also indicates that people tend to maintain a higher degree of eye contact with those they believe will be approving or supportive of them. Our experience with inter preting facial expressions starts very early in life. Babies at birth learn to begin interpreting expressions. Sustained mutual gaze between parent and child begins at four weeks of age. By six weeks of age, caregiver and child can play at making and breaking eye contact Research shows that babies are attracted to anything reassembling eyes Wp focus our eye« on the face more often than on any other part of the body. That must be why many women spend lots of money on eye make up Christmas Shopping Doesn’t Get Any Easier Than This! Give The Gift That Comes Week After Week. A Subscription To 1 Clip And Mail This Coupon 1 With Your Check To: 1 Lancaster Farming I P.O. Box 609 J Ephrata, PA 17522 1 Name: J Address: I City: ! State: I Gift Card To Read From 1 1 □ NEW Call 717-626*1164 Did you know that in order to initiate a conversation with someone, you need to first make eye contact? If you don’t believe me, try this little experiment at home or work. Try to initially start talk ing to someone without first having direct eye contact. It will seem awkward and it will appear that the other person ‘Tap’ a Great HARRISBURG (Dauphin Co. ) - It's that time of year again, when parents everywhere go crazy with that long list of gizmos and designer-named clothing that children every where must have. If like many parents, you want to tuck some thing into that list which has meaning and long-term value, look no further than the Pennsylvania Tuition Account Program (TAP). It is one gift that you and your child will thank you for in years to come. Sending children to college becomes a more expen sive proposition every year. By opening a TAP account, you can purchase tomorrow's college tuition at today's prices. Once established, anyone can contribute to the account-par ents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, even friends. And if any one knows about the vj saving today for what yoi Zip: □ RENEWAL • Lancaster Farming, Saturday, December 12, 1998-B7 isn’t listening. It’s true we do listen with our eyes during conversations. When someone talks to you, are you an active listener, main taining quality eye contact 9 Or are you easily distracted seem ingly disinterested? Have fun this holiday season and take notice how you commu nicate with your eyes Gift Idea tomorrow, grandparents do. Chances are, they would love to be included in contributing to a TAP account. TAP differs from other sav ings plans in that the prepaid tuition credits are guaranteed to cover the tuition costs at the time the children are ready to go to college, no matter how much tuition increases. TAP tuition credits can be used at any col lege or technical school, public or private, anywhere in the United States. To learn more about this unique program, call 1-800-440- 4000, and ask for a free brochure entitled, "Important Facts to Consider When Joining TAP" Visit the TAP Website at www patap org. 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Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers