Taking Time for Your Marriage Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage and the impor tance of finding/creating special times together as a couple. Just a few weeks ago my husband and I celebrated our anniversary. I real ly enjoy looking ahead to the day and concocting something special to do. Last year I sent him on a tre asure hunt. I may never top that one. This year’s idea was simpler but still special. We made reserva tions for a late dinner at a tiny, loc al restaurant and spent our time answering two questons. This first was, “What were some of your favorite times that we spent together this past year?” The sec ond was, “What hopes/visions do WE DO WORK ALL TYPES OF POURED WALLS • Footers * Flatwork I CONTACT. STEVE PETERSHEiM» JR. *_■ Jlls* Open Sunday you have for our marriage and life together down the road?” We took turns recalling memo ries. Taking the time to list these favorite moments allowed each of us to celebrate good things about the past year. Incidentally, this whole conversation probably wouldn’t have happened if I had sprung the question on my hus band. He always does better with a little warning! Patricia Kramer, author of The Dynamics of Relationships, points out that the bottom line for a suc cessful marriage is the commit ment each person makes to the relationship. Making the marriage a priority by each person putting his or her partner first, without sacrificing other areas of one’s life is essential. She advises that part ners. early in a relationshp, recog nize that marriages take constant nurturing and work to keep them strong. They have peaks and val leys: they include conficts and crises which do not need to be deadly to the relationship. Recent research conducted by several marriage and family ther apists reveals that couples who have a common vision of what they want to bc/do in the future maintain healthy marriages. Their companionship and energy are directed in a common goal. Do you now what your spouse’s hopes are for the future? Last night I was reminded of the importance of not only celebrating anniversaries in creative ways but also finding "couple time” regu larly throughout the year to bring some security and stability to a relationship. During a parenting workshop one couple expressed their frustration with not being able to get their one child to stay up in bed so that they can have some time alone in the evening. It was great to see how the other parents in the group surrounded and encouraged them to be consis tent with their expectations for regular bedtime. Finding couple time is difficult. If you’re struggling, here are a few Lancaster Farming, Saturday, October 28, 199843 ideas to spark some special times with your companion or to rengw your emotional connection to one another. • Send your spouse a note at work. • Cook the other person’s favo rite meal. • Read a book of common inter est together (I like Pennsylvania Magazine). You could try a news paper, movie review, polidal edi torial. Then discuss it Try this in the car or over dessert sometime. • Drive with the radio off for more than IS minutes and see what happens. • Turn off the TV7and try some thing new like reviewing old pic ture albums. Or take turns picking favorite music to listen to cm the stereo. Create a list of five things you’d like to do together in the next year. Set a date for one of the items. Healthy Snacks For kids (*—» SS-ttCSSTS ary Co.)—Montgomery County . found in most kitchens to Cooperative Extension is offering foods a free two-hour training for work- will to hdd at ers in child care centers or family Montgomery bounty 4-H Center on Rt? 113 h» Creamery, one mile November Bat 7.00 P-m Jhc top- WftSt of Skippack . Attendees wiU fjjj JtSa ” receivc tWO DPW “PP^** l W®* Snack-Tme fra Kids. The prog ing credits and a certificate at the ram wm highlight inexpensive J ion Fof or more and nutnuous snack .d<ras for Mom&d contact the extension chfldren of aU ages. Many ideas at (610) 48 9-4315. Pre will be shared for involving the is requested. • Go to the gym together, or participate in an athletic activity (driving range, volleyball) as a twosome. • Work in the yark together or work on other side-by-side projects. • Light candles and pour two mugs of coffee or cool drinks after the kids go to bed • Take a walk together, sit on the porch and watch the night settle in. • Say I love you out loud to your partner. These are great ideas for enhancing your couple time and reconnecting. But Kramer reminds each of us that our part-' nets are not responsible for our happiness, sense of self-worth or well-being. They may be deeply concerned and committed to us, but they are not ultimately respon sible for our feelings, actions, and attitudes.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers