82-lancaster Farming, Saturday, February 25, 1995 On Being a Farm Wife (and other hazards) , Joyce Bupp Help! Down here. On the floor. Buried by this pile of paper that slid off my desk. It was inevitable. The pile of unsolicited promotional, advertis ing, plain old general “junk” mail rolling in here has finally reached dangerous proportions. There’s at least a whole tree’s worth of paper strewn over top of me. Let’s see what’s here as we dig out! Catalogs they tend to turn a person black and blue from their size. Like the two yes, two fat catalogs from an ag supply firm halfway across the country, who apparently got our name the same place most of this other stuff originated from. Purchased mail ing lists. This one offers every thing from reflective tape to farm footwear to dust respirators. Others market anything from diesel motor parts to CD’s to un derwear to computer softwear to van supplies. Van supplies? It came in my name and I don’t own a van. Please send trial sample van teal blue, preferably. Alfalfa planting time is just weeks away. Even without a cal endar, you could figure that out from the mailbox. Likewise for farm equipment sale time. If the numerous lists stuffing the mail box here don’t offer quite the ex act piece you have in mind ... well, you can FAX in for an even longer list. For the dairy herd in the barn, we receive shipments regularly of what might best be considered computer dating lists. Otherwise known as bull proof sheets, sire summaries, daughter comparisons all the up-to-date information one needs to match up the genes of the mother and father to get a per fect offspring. Which will prob ably turn out to be a set of twins, bull and heifer, in which case the heifer, 98 percent of the time, through Nature’s weird practical jokes, will not reproduce. Most fun of all junk mail, though, is the get-money, spend money pieces. No less than five “pre-approved” credit card appli cations are here in this stack. Other credit card mailings prom ise frequent flier miles for using them, insurance against their theft; one even offers a generous loan to pay them off. At an interest rate of 18.99 percent, maximum allow able no doubt. “Are you prepared to live IS years or more without a pay check?” queries one large, squar ish, envelope from an insurance firm, junk mail worth a good laugh for farm wives used to working without a “paycheck.” “Free preview, free gift, free $5O cash,” promises another, sell ing cookbooks. Check the fine print the $5O offer is good only to the first SO sendbacks received.' Trust me, yours won’t be one of them. Really, really mouth-watering are the glossy pieces enticing us take a trip to someplace warm? “Sample Tahitian Treats!” . . . “Escape the Winter Chill on Flori da’s #1 Airline.” And a personal invitation to join the “Voyage of the Glaciers.” Glaciers? Try me about mid-July. Most irritating personally of all the junk mail in the stack is one offering “protection” for the com puter, and which comes in the form of a bill. One has to look very carefully to see that it says “application.” Since there seems to be little one can do to stop all this waste of trees to bury us under tons of un solicited advertising junk, those of us who use newspaper and waste paper for bedding cattle can adopt that ever-popular “if you can’t lick ’em, join ’em” approach. Keep that junk mail coming. It soaks up lots of manure. York Garden And Flower Show YORK (York Co.) The York Garden and Flower Show will be held Thursday, February 23 from 4 p.m. to 9 p.m.; Friday, February 24 from noon to 9 p.m.; Saturday, February 25 from 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. and Sunday, February 26 from 11 a.m. to S p.m. Two buildings of flowers, plants, gardens, garden ideas, and 60 exhibitors will offer a variety of products and services related to garden and outdoor living areas. About 8,000 square feet of space will be devoted to large dis- ~ . . .«. , ... . play gardens, installed by land- M “S'? ” d Stape eonralors and garden «•» 'wls. 6 Parkmg is free. The York Fair- Seeds. spring bulbs, herbs, and f° un *> is „ locatc f °? D Car ji s,e perennial plants will be for sale. VCi ’ °* Lebanon Seeks Dairy Promotion Contestants LEBANON (LEBANON COO Contestants are needed foi Lebanon County Dairy Promotion Positions for Dairy Princess, Little Miss, and Dairy Maid positions will need to be filled in June. Prospective dairy princesses must be between the ages of 16 and 24, live in Lebanon County, and be Experts will be on hand to discuss tree and lawn care, and profession al landscape designers will be available for questioning. Free professional seminars will be offered throughout the four days. Subjects range from herbal gardening to perennials, and from designing entryways to landscape lighting and aquatic gardens. Workshops will cover working with dried flower arrangements, introduction to bonsai, and design ing decks. the daughter of a dairy fanner, herdsman or manager or the daughter of a dairy industry employee. Dairy maids should be between 13 and 16 years of age. Little Miss contestants need to be between 4 to 6 years of age. For more details, call Annette Buck, coordinator, at (717) 867-5278.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers