TAKING TIME by Rebecca Escort Extension Home Economist A Father’s Regrets The late Harry Chapin used to sing a gripping balled. Cat’s in the Cradle, telling the tale of a father who realizes too late the impor tance of spending time with his son. Regrets. As a home economist, I spend part of my work week RIDING ARENAS THAN WOOD TRUSS CONSTRUCTION * 26 ga. Painted Sidewalls with 20 Year Warranty • 1 Personnel Door • 2 - lO'xlO’ Sliding Doors • Freight Included to Job Si • 10 Skyhtes Included ★ OTHER ARENAS COMPARABLY PRICED • Custom-Built Packages Designed For The Do-It-Yourselfer • Detailed Step-By-Step Assembly Instructions Included • Let us show you how you can build faster, more economically... and get more riding arena for your money than you thought possible! • Other Accessories Available GROVE CONTRACTING SERVICE helping people develop strategies to juggle their areas of commit ment Most of that work is with frazzled women. But Dads can’t be excluded. For the past six months. I’ve been working with a “working dad” on a sales designed especially for men that will equip them to be Orwigsburg, PA (717) 366-0696 Call Today And Ask For Lynn Grove more successfully involved with home and child care activities. Men’s involvement is critical to the stability of the family. For a father, becoming more involved in the lives of his child ren is not simply a matter of rear ranging priorities. According to psychologist, Roderick Gilkey, “What we’re talking about is defending the family.” Here are the foundational principles: • Becoming involved is a visi ble, physical way to demonstrate care to a spouse. • Becoming involved provides children with a much-needed posi tive male role-model. • Being more involved now means fewer regrets in the future. Unfortunately, 25-30% of 16’ • 26 ga. Galvalume Roof with 20 Year Warranty • 3:12 Roof Pitch • 30# Ground Snow • 70 mph Wind Load • All Steel Construction fathers aged 48 to 70 express a sense of regret One dad said. “I guess I rationalized it and kept thinking that the time would come when I could spend more time with the kids. But I never did. All the sudden they’re g0ne...1 can’t make up for it” In some cases farm families have advantages over urban fami lies in this repect Often parents and children work side-by-side on the farm communicating and sup porting each other. But often even for rural families, adults and child ren are scattered during the day, and at night everyone is isolated working on individual tasks. It is time to shake the system. Each of us MUST become devoted to a new set of priorities that focuses less on tasks and more on relationships. And women, we play a big role in making this happen. Asking or allowing another person to become involved in areas that we have formerly taken care of by ourselves means letting go. That person needs power to do things differently. He also needs permis sion to practice and fail. That’s where my survival series comes in. For three nights, we are allowing men to try new skills (without having their wives look ing over their shoulders, correct ing them). Quick meals, shopping and quick cleaning strategies, tips for entertaining children-these are LancMttr Farming, Saturday, April 25, 1992>811 the components of the series. We hope that men will come-evcn men that are single or may be divorced and not have custody of their children. Why? Not* because it is such a victory to be able to make a great casserole, but because by doing physical tasks you show support to others. This is truly an invest ment in relationships. Men, your families need you! You may be wondering how to squeeze this noble cause into an already packed day. Last year, I uncovered a wonderful article by Dolores Curran about “wasting time .with Dad”. She begins by describing how a father and child spent a day on a fishing trip. The child reflects, “Went fishing with Dad. It was great!” But the father’s comments are far less positive, “Went fishing but didn’t catch anything. Pretty much a waste of time.” The time you spend with your family is not wasted. Practice val uing it in a new way. The memo ries that children recall of time spent with dads are usually tales of just “hanging out.” these times may be afternoons in a garage or walks home from the school bus. It’s YOU they want. As men learn to devote them selves to the cause of defending the family, they will slowly whittle away the looming threat of future regrets. Women, give them space. Change takes time.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers