November 18, 1949
WOMAN
Here are a few ideas on that very
touchy subject.
"Woman is only one of nature's
agreeable blunders."
(True! True!)
* * * *
"Frailty, thy name is woman!"
SHAKESPEARE
(He really didn't mean that.)
** * *
"The weaker Vessel"
** * *
(I checked Webster on this one
VESSEL: a structure larger than a
commin row boat. Hhmmm.)
"Too fair to worship, too divine to
love."
MILMAN
(Come, come my good man!)
IM3
"A rag of bone and a hank of
KIPLING
(Excellent! Wonderful!)
* * *
"Find the woman."
(Cream cheese with a secret
weapon.)
AFTER HOURS STUFF
A teachers life is not all bluebooks
and passing grades—on the contrary
a teacher has many jobs aside from
teaching. We do not have to look far
for examples of this, either, because
right here on our own campus we
find teachers doing more than in
structing. These illustrations will be
more than sufficient for me to prove
my point. How many of you know
that Miss Bonn, our charming
English teacher, is also the Center's
Publicity Director? You didn't?
Well, strange as•it may seem, Mr.
Pavone, our dynamic Engineering
Drawing teacher, is the head of our
cafeteria; Miss Thomas, our dissect
ing Botany and Zoology teacher,
holds down the job of Faculty Ad
visor. Miss Wood is Dean of Women
and Miss Liechty, our Math teacher,
is in charge of the finances for the
Student Council. Miss Garbrick, our
appreciative Music teacher, and Miss
Campbell, our expressive Speech and
English teacher, have complete
charge of the Autumn Concert
Theater.
Miss Erlemann's Adult Leisure
Time Classes are a real Busman's
Holiday. Miss Emma Phillips dispen
ses Beginners' French, while Mr. Art
Carpenter and his able assistant tu
tor novices in Arts and Crafts.
Furthermore, let us not forget
Miss Neifert, our competent English
teacher whose responsibility is Stu
dent Welfare, and those teachers who
sponsor clubs and other phases of
campus life important to the stu
dents.
If you like "Nuttany Nittany"
come to the Collegian office and let
us know. If you don't—!!!!
COWLEY
PETER 111
Who pours Art Edstrom into his overalls every morning?
Does Sergeant Gordon use a Schick Injector?
When are we going to hear "Mule Train" playing in our
jukebox?
Who is crazy about Econ?
When is Dinny (Socrates) Conahan going to invest in a
windbreaker? (Or is wearing a topcoat to Gym class a fad?)
What kind of tobacco does Mr. Zerbe smoke?.
How many miles is it from the bottom to the top of the hill?
Who is Leroy?
DUMA S
Does Reese Davis have any other classes than Pinochle 255?
Did Burt Minkin paint his car in the dark?
Where did Miss Phillips buy that Stanley Steamer?
Did you ever see two sub debs as "Sub" as Janoski and Har
lor?
Does Keplinger have permission to park atop the hill?
How old is Sydney?
Does "J" stand for Joy in M.J.8.?
Is it true that Grace Heppe is still a Wildcat?
Does Chad McCracken bleach his Toscannini tresses?
Will Canasta ever replace Pinochle in the Snack Bar?
Will Hank Ziegler ever get a girl?
Who performed the art work on the road?
Shall we vote Neil Gallagher Class Harpist?
Did Kostanecki find his shirt in a can of pineapple?
Have you noticed Walter Stone writing to Santa Claus yet?
Why do they call Kathleen Midash "Crisco?"
Is Lefty Vilushis the "odds" man on the totem "pool?"
Does Duz do everything?
Is it true that Mr. Muller owns a noodle factory?
Do you know where the bulletin board is?
Who is going to get the.furniture for the Collegian office out
of storage?
Is it true that Dave Evans will star in the next Tarzan pie-
ture?
This year your student newspaper, The Collegian, is in
fact a student newspaper. The staff is composed only of stu
dents, the policy is made by students, and it is published for
the students. We want to reflect and assist in any way pos
sible the views and aims of all of the sophomores and fresh
men. The staff will welcome suggestions, gripes (legiti
mate) and any contributions made sincerely in the interest
of an alert, well-informed student body. This will be our
guiding policy.
HAZLETON COLLEGIAN
We have a new campus, oh, isn't that fine;
But between you and me, for the old school I pine.
No parking troubles, no hills to climb,
No missing busses departing on time.
It seems that the schedule was designed to confuse,
For the rooms designated weren't ready to use;
Chem Lab was a structure consisting of walls,
"Old Main" was remodeled with unfinished halls
Here up on the mountain, so close to the blue,
One thing we do have is an excellent view.
But take me away from this high, godly perch;
Back to the old place at Walnut and Church
THE QUESTION MARK
IT'S ALL YOURS!
FRUSTRATION
MAN
Now we come to the better half.
"Every man is a volume, if you
know how to read him."
- W. E. CHANNING ,
(Check with Marilyn George for
page numbers.)
"It is easier to know mankind in
general than man individually."
La ROCHEFOUCAULD
(Ask Sissy McGee)
* * * *
"Thou has made him a little lower
than Angels."
PSALMS VIII
(How deep is the ocean?)
IMI
"Man's the bad child of the uni
verse."
(Kids will be kids.)
EMM:=3
"Man is a social animal."
SENECA
(He can be found day in and night
out.)
CLASSIFIED ADS
WANTED TO BUY—Heater in good
condition (.45 cal. preferred)
Contact Lee Palmer.
FOR SALE—ABC washer. Good
condition. Makes for sanitary al
phabet soup. Check with this office.
FOR SALE-1941 Mercury—color
red. Reason for sale: thermometer
broke. Check with. Kilroy.
FOR SALE Sewing machines.
Guaranteed Singers (if fed bird
seed). Call "Scoopy".
FOR SALE-1946 Chev. pickup tr.
Guaranteed to hold twenty "pick
ups". Call Mike Sekerak.
FOR SALE Youthful, half size
dresses for Fall wear. All colors—
if colors matter. Call A. Peifer.
WANTED—"Buck-Board" in snack
bar. Call "Student Board of Com
mon Pleas."
LIVE STOCK—Riding' horse with
saddle, bridle. 6 years old. Un
married—no prospects. Rusty gait
ed. Contact this office.
HELP WANTED Female, good
looking and intelligent. To work
Chemistry problems. Call John
Marchetti.
ORGANIZATIONS!
News of activitties and accomplish
ments of the various clubs will, of
course, be included in the Collegian
if each organization will make provi
sion for this information to reach
our office. Please give our small
overworked staff a reasonable length
of time before publication to include
these articles.
Don't forget "Three Cornered Moon"
• Friday Night
GENETTI'S
Page Three
OPPENHEIM