SUGGESTIONS EOR
IMPROVING THE CENTER
L. Install an escalator or elevator
sc that the.students won't wear them
selves cut- walking up and down stairs o
2 0 Line the hall? library,, and game
room with mirrors in order that the
coeds can conveniently comb their lus
trous locks and apply war paint when
ever they get the notion—which is
plenty ofhen<>
3„ Use John Powers models in the
library to attract students who are
allergic to books*
4„ Install a coke machine selling
free cokes only.
5» Have a three—hour recess between
all classes.
6„ Eliminate sending marks home—
or even eliminate marks*
7. Have the bannisters converted
into sliding boards.
g. Build a sun deck* Include over
stuffed chairs, foot stools, and sun
deck maids (preferably blondes without
husbands).
Warfell —I fainted; they brought me
to; so I fainted again.
Warfel's sidekick Miraldo:--Why?
Warf el:—Well, they brought me two more
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OFFICIAL BULLETIN
j Students:
| Just imagine, our vacation 'begins
lat 5 o’clock this afternoon, and we don’t
|have to come hack till next year l
Specifically, we must he hack at
S:00 A*M # on January 5 (if we are so
unlucky as to have 8 o'clocks)* And
then for those of us who decide to ex
tend our vacations, there’s that un
pleasant matter of a $5 assessment (no
defense tax).
I Bear Aunt Sophronia: (Continued)
some of that very simple German.... And
aunty, did you know that Miles is in a
love triangle? It’s Miles, Ann Mariano,
and Tillie from Tresckow....lncidentally,
Miles recently took on a new extra-cur
ricular activity, that of teaching the
art of fudge-making; he learned it at
Mariano's. How about a piece of fudge,
Eudgie?...Betty and Genevieve still go
to the M.&M.I. dances, and hy mere de
incidence, so do Pinger and Tommy Popo
vec—we know how you feel, Sholtis I—
but—if Bashful Tommy doesn't wake up
he may not find himself sitting hy Gen
evieve in German class. Tell him why,
Wade.... Everyone understands why Ser
geant Jose Vazquez is beginning to study
projectile problems in calculus.... D
efense, defense, de-fence, hut oh for a
real "he-man” for Ee-gate(is).
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C> >77 <;
Sincerely,
Tranquil Tilly
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