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What's Your
Sign?
by Jennifer Brennan
Aries (March 21 - April
19) - In December you'll
find that studying doesn't
pay off; then again, when
did it ever?
Taurus (April 20 - May
20) Be wary of friends
who eat too many green
M&M' s.
Gemini (May 21 - June
21) - Be patient and under
standing to friends who are
overly concerned with your
consumption of green M&M's.
Cancer (June 22 - July
22) - No horoscope this
month. Government studies
report that Cancer will
soon become a part of Gemi
ni, thus creating a need
for a combined horoscope.
See Gemini.
Leo (July 23 - August
22) - Don't hesitate to
make financial investments
this month. What the heck,
you are going to be_in the
hole for five years after
you graduate anyway!
Virgo (August 23 - Sep
tember 22) - Domestic, so
cial, and financial prob
lems haunt you this month.
So what else is new?
Libra (September 23 -
October 23) - Maybe you
should forget about this
month.
Open to the public and
students and staff of the
Hazleton Campus. Showings
Tuesday nights at 7:00 p.m.
in the Highacres Room of
the Library. No fees. Free
admission.
Schedule
02/04/86
City Lights - directed
by and starring Charles
Chaplin (1931) - a comedy
romance - 81 minutes - si
lent, black and white
02/11/86
A Doll's House - adap-
tation of Ibsen's play
starring Jane Fonda (99
minutes - color)
Scorpio (October 24 -
November 22) - In December,
don't do anything I
wouldn't do.
Sagittarius (November
23 - December 21) - Romance
comes your way, walks all
over you and then keeps on
going.
Capricorn (December 22
January 19) December is
a good time for you to
switch your major, maybe
even your university. Have
you considered another
state, or possibly, another
country?
Aquarius (January 20 -
February 18) - This month
is the perfect time to ask
for a raise. I'm sure, by
now, your employer could
use a good laugh.
Pisces (February 19 -
March 20 - Be careful a
round any Sagittarian who
looks lonely; and, by all
means, refrain from asking
about the footprints!
ALL SIGNS (January 1 -
December 31) - You can't
have everything. Where
would you put it?
"You can't get where
you're going Unless you
remember where you come
from. Who you are and what
you are is the only thing
you own. Never lose it and
NEVER. ... ever ... surren
der ... " --Corey Hart -
It is, by far, better
to forget and smile than to
remember and be sad.
FILM
FESTIVAL
0 2 / 1 8 / 8 6
Amarcord - written and
directed by Fellini. Dubbed
in English (127 minutes -
color)
02/25/86
The Lavender Hill Mob -
an English comedy starring
Alec Guinness (78 minutes -
black and white)
03/11/86
Wild Strawberries
written and directed by
Ingmar Bergman (1967) star
ring Max von Sydow. English
subtitles (90 minutes -
black and white)
Excuses Not to
Take a Test
by Monica Shah ,
1. "This material in
sults my abilities as a
Penn State student."
2. "I'm allergic to
tests." If this doesn't
work, try #3.
3. "I'm on allergy
pills, and I'm not supposed
to drive or operate machi
nery for the next eight
hours. How do you expect me
to operate my mechanical
pencil?" If this doesn't
work either, try #4.
4. "I don't have a
pen." But beware of some
well-meaning classmate who
will attempt to lend you
one of his.
5. "I was told I only
have 60 minutes to live. Do
you really want me to spend
the last hour of my life
taking this test?" You bet
ter be ready to explain why
you're still alive the next
day: "Did I say sixty
minutes? I meant sixty
years!"
6. "It's against my
religion." They never know
what to say to this one.
7. Hand in a blank
test, and when questioned,
reply, "I wrote out the
answers in invisible ink!"
8. "My mother didn't
give me permission."
9. "I couldn't study
because the closet ate my
notebook."
10. "I'm mourning the
death of some neurons that
I killed Friday night."
TWO GUYS
FROM ITALY
LAUREL MALL • HAZLETON
459-0783
PIZZA-NAPOLITANA & SICILIAN
STROMBOLI * HOAGIES
ANTIPASTO* DINNERS
jiem, inal &pp :bad l y
DRAFT BEER • 6 PACKS TO-GO
TAKE OUT SERVICE
Mon - Sat 10-9 • Sun Noon-5 pm
Ski Club
by Katie Miller
There are drily a few
times when you can truly
experience a sensation of
calmness and serenity,
which is so relaxing you
just never want to give it
up. One of these experi
ences is skiing. Downhill
skiing poses an opportune
moment to test your abili
ties Igainst yourself and
others.
Skiing against yourself
gives you the chance to
relax and_take things slow
ly. You can work on increa
sing your skills, and it
lets you get more in touch
with yourself. Once this is
accomplished, you can ex
perience a sense of well
being only sitters can
share.
Skiing against others
lets you find out how well
you can ski. Competition
against your peers creates
a vigorous push to bring
more out of you that you
knew you had in yourself.
The competitiveness also
increases your skills. At
the same time, the recre
ational side of skiing a
mong your friends allows
for many fun times that
cannot be forgotten.
If you wish .to share
such experiences or just
want to try Something new,
you can. Join the Ski Club.
This club sponsors a trip
to Vermont over spring
break as well as weekly
trips to Camelback Ski Area
in the Poconos. Memberships
are available and cost two
dollars. This entitles you
to all ski club functions.
If you want to learn
more or become a member,
then stop in at the next
meeting. Posters are always
up with the time and place.
We may not all be Debbie
Armstrongs, Bill Johnsons,
or Mahre brothers, but if
you want to have fun come
out and join us. New mem
bers are always, ielcome.
YOUNG VIRILE INDIVIDUAL
NEEDED FOR PART-TIME
WORK AS ANATOMY CADAVER
..APPLY IN PERSON IN
K-302 EQUAL OPPORTUNITY