WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A F.0.0.L.? By ELLIOT GROSSMAN Dean pf Lunatical Affairs Fraternal Order Of Lunatics* Hlghacres Chapter "The Hazlefon Campus of The Pennsylvania State Univer sity presents a Seminar on Cybergenetics and Cunglonim ism," announces a squat bug eyed man in a trench coat to a room full of curious Penn Staters. Moments later three professional-looking scroundrels enter the room and march up to the podium. One "professor"is wearing a tuxedo with short pants ans sneakers, the second one is wearing swimming trunks and is carrying a gym bag, and the third is weaking a cap and gown and is carrying an open um brella. "Anyone lived in a pretty how town with up so floating maiiy^bells d0wn...," they begin to recite an E. E. CUUummings poem in harmony. After the peom is completed, two of the professors take seats while the other begins a lecture prov ing that one equals seven. In the middle of the lecture the ringing of a telephone is heard emanating from t the second pro fessor's gym bag. He takes a telephone out of the bag and be gins a discourse about the price of snowshoes in Alaska with an anonymous caller. The lecture continues but; before it is com pleted, the lecturer runs to the middle of the room pursuing an invisible taxi proclaiming, "Taxi!! taxi!! You can't get a taxi around here anymore!!" After the lecture is com pleted, the professors vacate the room, leaving a crowd of disbe lieving, shocked people, who are even more curious now then they were when they had entered the room. Is the world coming to an end? Have three deadly, diabol ical creatures escaped from the planet Tralfamodore? The answer to, both questions is "no." These three lunaticial beings present •continued on page 10 What About Classical Music? First there was Dr. Pep per, the worlds' most misun derstood "soft driiik?" Well, ‘welcome to the worlds' most misunderstood music, "Classic cal." Numerous myths exist about this music, aiid now is the time to dispel some of them. Perhaps the greatest myth about Classical music is that it is dead. Nothing is farther from the truth. Al though the patient was criti cal for a time, he is now on the road to recovery. There has been a new rush of interest, on the part of the present genera tion, towards this music. The ratings of Classical radio sta- Sfatno andSPcn JH| Wen’s 3ormJ Wear The rear entrance of the cafeteria was utilized as a temporary car port on the morning of February 21. An automobile owned by Steve West, a Resident student had been moved to this location supposedly by other Penn State students. Upon driving the vehicle from the area, West was greeted by a Police Service member who presented a fine of $lO for driving in a restricted zone. Photo by Dave Kraft. The Highacres Collegian, Mareh 3.Q., 1977-9 Htfereotppetr By MICHAEL CHARNIGO COLLEGIAN Staff Writer tions are on the rise, and even non-Classical stations are fit ting it into their programming, according to "Stereo Review." Why this new interest? The new interest could be due largely because many people now are discovering that Classi cal mrfSsic is not only for the old "stuffed shirts" in the con cert halls. A good example is Beethoven. Such songs as "Roll over Beethoven" and A Fifth of Beethoven," while perhaps satir izing Classical music, have also initiated a new interest in Classical music. A large portion of the public is discovering that this music can be just as vibrant and exciting as our popular music LAUREI. MALL HAZLETON (717)4594985
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