CRES COLLEGIAN ••41 , n , • • • 1..,_ N I • The mayor of Reno states that the new liquor laws must be enforced . . He said that a city ordinance states that no saloon shall be located neare than 300 feet from a church. He is giving the violaters three days in which to remove the church. His wife lay on he death bed. She pleaded: "John, I want you to promis me, that you'll ride in the same car with my mother at my funeral." He sighed: "Okay, but it's going to ruin mfr whole dgy." First Seagull, "Who won the crew race below us, Dartmouth or Harvard?" Second Seagull, "Dartmouth just crossed the finish line in the lead." First Seagull, "To think I put everything I had on. Harvard." I once had a classmate named Jesser, Whose knowledge grew lesser and lessor; It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all- And now he's a college professor. Old Mother Hubbard went to the Cupboard To get her poor daughter a dress. When she got there The cupboard was bare And so was her daughter, I guess. King Arthur: "I hear you have, boon misbehaving," Knight: "In what manor, sire: ^" wUhatta the idea of all the crowd at the "There's a traveling salesman down there The worldts greatest optomthst is the old maid who pulls down a folding bed and then looks under it. Teacher: "Johnny, do you wish to leave the room?" Johnny: "Well, I aintt hitchhiking." Student: "Why didn't I make 100 on it history exam?" Professor:"Your answer to 'Why did the pioneers go into the wilderness,' was interesting, but incorrect." A Kansas preacher .at tho close of a sermon discovered one of his deacons v 4l loop. He said, Me will now have a few momenPs of prayer. Deacon 1 : 1 -,-..0 411 rtlal-open?u :Deacon Brown roused, a bit and sleepily replied, nOpen, hell, I just Alealt.." When you get through- with that. ( - Li garotto. rAnnqe% wizx% the Ashns off your FRESMEN WEEK FRC Sall atiow i r .7 - 47 s-e sip` AT LEAST ONE CLUB HERE AT HIGHACRES. cssing his sins."
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers