The Highacres collegian. (Hazleton, PA) 1956-????, April 18, 1958, Image 6

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    HIGHAC MS COLLEGIAN
SHIVER SINNERS` continued
attending classes at the campus (when
she isn't cutting them) will soon resume
reporting duties for the COLLEGIAN.
All you lucky people will have the -
opportunity of seeing the campus
through her eyes (God help the campus).
We leave you with this thoughts, If things
look blacki you can always commit swicides
********** * * * * * * * * * *
GREAT TEACHER
Over the years, HIGHACRES has had
some truly outstanding instructors
serve as members of the faculty. As
a special feature, we wold like to
tell you about a few of these really
great professors,
PROFESSOR HANS QUICKEINGERS
Professor Quickfingers of the Psychology
department is one of America(s foremost,
and when we say foremost, we meoriti
criminologists. This summer he made a
hasty tour of the country. He got as
far as the Mexican border where he was
met by colleagues and accompanied on a
guided tour to Fort Leaven - Wirth, Kano
Recently, however, several business
associates immersed him in a large vat
of cement, where he became part of the
highway system between Harrisbirg and
Philadelphia.
Professor W. Ed Pantee
Professor Pantee is the youngest man
to have a full professorship 1.4 the
Chemistry department. Professor Pantee
is a specialist in the theories of the
botneing ball, expanding bubble gum,
, Jand piles, minature trains, mud cakes,
finger painting, and small, hairy
spiders. Students rush to sign up for
his courses at the end of each semester.
As one eager applicant pat "You don't.
have to take notes in his -course. He
can't talk yet."
Professor Honus "Ham" Hooka
Professor Hocks is head of the Physical
Education department. Be won the Body
Beautiful title in 1949. This triuLpi,
was largly made possible by his
unnsuoVr - developed chest hustles' i o:
biceps, iron stature, iron legs, and
brains In 1946 he won the national
olYmPio heatyweight lifting contest° He
was able to support his ponderous
'weight oti his own two feet*
Professor Claude "Crabs" Kotzmeyer
Professor KotzmeYer is professor of
Armenian at RIGHACESS‘ He speakd modern,
medieval, and ancient Armenian fluently*
He speaks seventeen dialects of ArmenianA
He does not speak Englishe This distraot
from his general excellence as an
instructor, since he does not seem to
underOand his students, nor thay hime
It is recommended that dor closest harmon
in the classroom, the class should have
at least one langusge in common with
the teacher,
********** * * * * * * * * * *
ENGLISH FACULTY ATTENDS MEETING
_TIT,
.1,16 q
The HIGHACRES English faculty attended
the Qonfezehce on College Composition
and Communication in Philadelphia over
the last week end of March.
Professor AndreW Kafka was instrumental
in the local planning and as a co—chairmr
of a four—session workshop which
exllored the subject ) "The Advanced
Course In Expository Writing: Aims, Text
and Methods."
The Conference on College CompositiaAL
and Communication is a permanent gro
within the National Vouncil of Teacb
of English. The recent meeting /
was tie ninth annual spring meetings
was held in the Hotel Benjamin FrankLl
One of the distinguiahed persons address
the meeting was Pearl Buck, well—known
American author,
nil 1