HIGHAC MS COLLEGIAN SHIVER SINNERS` continued attending classes at the campus (when she isn't cutting them) will soon resume reporting duties for the COLLEGIAN. All you lucky people will have the - opportunity of seeing the campus through her eyes (God help the campus). We leave you with this thoughts, If things look blacki you can always commit swicides ********** * * * * * * * * * * GREAT TEACHER Over the years, HIGHACRES has had some truly outstanding instructors serve as members of the faculty. As a special feature, we wold like to tell you about a few of these really great professors, PROFESSOR HANS QUICKEINGERS Professor Quickfingers of the Psychology department is one of America(s foremost, and when we say foremost, we meoriti criminologists. This summer he made a hasty tour of the country. He got as far as the Mexican border where he was met by colleagues and accompanied on a guided tour to Fort Leaven - Wirth, Kano Recently, however, several business associates immersed him in a large vat of cement, where he became part of the highway system between Harrisbirg and Philadelphia. Professor W. Ed Pantee Professor Pantee is the youngest man to have a full professorship 1.4 the Chemistry department. Professor Pantee is a specialist in the theories of the botneing ball, expanding bubble gum, , Jand piles, minature trains, mud cakes, finger painting, and small, hairy spiders. Students rush to sign up for his courses at the end of each semester. As one eager applicant pat "You don't. have to take notes in his -course. He can't talk yet." Professor Honus "Ham" Hooka Professor Hocks is head of the Physical Education department. Be won the Body Beautiful title in 1949. This triuLpi, was largly made possible by his unnsuoVr - developed chest hustles' i o: biceps, iron stature, iron legs, and brains In 1946 he won the national olYmPio heatyweight lifting contest° He was able to support his ponderous 'weight oti his own two feet* Professor Claude "Crabs" Kotzmeyer Professor KotzmeYer is professor of Armenian at RIGHACESS‘ He speakd modern, medieval, and ancient Armenian fluently* He speaks seventeen dialects of ArmenianA He does not speak Englishe This distraot from his general excellence as an instructor, since he does not seem to underOand his students, nor thay hime It is recommended that dor closest harmon in the classroom, the class should have at least one langusge in common with the teacher, ********** * * * * * * * * * * ENGLISH FACULTY ATTENDS MEETING _TIT, .1,16 q The HIGHACRES English faculty attended the Qonfezehce on College Composition and Communication in Philadelphia over the last week end of March. Professor AndreW Kafka was instrumental in the local planning and as a co—chairmr of a four—session workshop which exllored the subject ) "The Advanced Course In Expository Writing: Aims, Text and Methods." The Conference on College CompositiaAL and Communication is a permanent gro within the National Vouncil of Teacb of English. The recent meeting / was tie ninth annual spring meetings was held in the Hotel Benjamin FrankLl One of the distinguiahed persons address the meeting was Pearl Buck, well—known American author, nil 1