From time to time in flis column I would like to take the opportunity to cite various members of our citizenry, for honoring cer tan' virtues, and for conveying respect to our fellow man. At this time I issue my Proclamation of Honesty Award to the most honest and chari" table people of our time-the used car salesmen. It is important to remember that these peoplehave to make a living, just like the rest of us, and we should not be prejudiced just be cause they hare a plank on their boat and they get paid in dtbloons. And even if the dagger they carry in their teeth is a little crooked ; it should not bias our judgement. Let us picture then, the Behrend student, who imagines all used car salesmen to be honest, charitable and trustworthy. He arrives at the lots steps apprehensively over the broken beer bottles, and veers out of the way of a charging rhinoceros who is the pet of the dealer. The dealer approaches, golden earings glistening in the sun, and says cheerfully, "What can I put you in today?" (thinking maybe of cement shoes while his victim...er...customer is taking a moonlight swim in lake Erie. ) "Er... I'm ji'st looking right now. Gat: $5OO (honesty is the best policy, our guinea pig observes) I wanna spend. But I want a good car, ya know, not a gas pig:" "Certainly. Here's a 1932 Buick, good shape, good tires, and has a good transmission." (Notice, there's no mention of the motor. In fact a casual observer could question whether or not there ever was a motor in it. "How is it on gas?" "Gas? Why it got 20 gallons to the mile I mean 20 miles to the gallon. (H-m-m-m) "Can I get it for $500?" "Gee I dunno. This is quite a machine. (Twice he's said machine--not car. This could qualify as a washing machine.) I'll have to talk this over with my partner. Hey Long John," h . ' calls calls to a bearded old wino over in the corner. "Fifteen men on a dead man's chest. Yo ho-ho- and a bottle of rum. Watch ya want Captain?" "This young fella here wants to tuy this thing of beauty (again notice the absence of the word automobile.) for five hundred. Can we let him?" What follows is the "hot-cold" treatment. The one argues that the car is worth so much more, and the other contends that yes, it is worth a lot more, but since the sucker--oops, I mean customer, has such an honest face,etc. that they might, just might, let it go for 500. What they keep under their bandannas is that the car's been on the lot for 3 years and that 50 shares of Gulf Oil Company stock goes with it. "I don't know. Is he a nice boy? The little old lady who formerly owned the car would not want a hot rod to drive it. If you promise to take,good care of it, we will let lb go for -sigh- $500." JACKSON' ? S JARGON BOOS'ilai CLUB XMAS TRUE SAIE A gigantic Christmas tree sale.is being planned by the Booster Club to raise money for their treasury. Make it a point to buy your Christman tree from this hardworking group. Watch for more details in later issues of this paper. Miss Helene Stent, secretary to Dean Lane and informer to the Nittany Cub, leaves today for New . York City where she will be doing secretarial work. The Nittany Cub is sad to see her go, and wishes her the best of hick! THE ) 0 4 \ + is IP Ron Fontecchio Editor R. Paul Clement Sports Editor Al Dorchester Ass't. Sports Editor Pete Eichenlaub Sports Reporter Anne Tomczak Artist -Photographer Eileen Bowden Reporter John Jackson Reporter Mr. Christopher Advisor The staff of the Nittany Cub would like to give special credit to Mrs. Kathryn W. Lobaugh, R.N., who handles the mailing and postage for the Nittany Cub. GUESS WHO PROF??? RESIGNATION
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