To anyone who Wig ever owned a ten-year old gas usurper of a car, a• ; compact car should make the expenses of driving more reasonable. So with this in mind, I traded my old Pontiac in on a newer Corrair and relished the thought of gettint more than two miles to a tank of gas. As I meandered to the used car lot to pick up Tay ticket to economy I felt assured that act troubles were over and that I would now, for the fake of a little comfort s , be able to traverse the countryside; free of worry that the car wouldn't ran. My pseudo-tester-of-the -road coraplex was not undaunted - when the 'hood of ny ebarlot came all the vay over my - ankles, and my six-four frame endeavored to enter the ear. I found, to Tay surprise, that Toy head did not touch the roof, but my knees and one can see sin-prisingl,y veal berween bis legs if necessity dictates it. Now to get the thing moving. let's see--turn on can, press accelelaLor, shift into drive, and off I it ain't =vim', baby. So I got out, pulled the mass of arms and legs In the gereral direction of the joker who had sold me this dirty old car, and accosted the salesman. ► "Ravin' trouble?" The nients sic gold teeth and the ring in his nose glistened in the sun. "goy', I replied, "I'm a and I try to see how . 711812 y ^ • - I can mutilate myself getting out ef a ear- How do you get the blasted g moving?" The salesman took it the knife out - Bae lc i ß Ve - Igng la gzlaknif Tit P.-Se SPOTLIGHT My equanimity renewed, I went back to by John Jackson the car, found the emergency brake (so thatts what meant), pulled it off literally), and my maiden voyage had begun. I drove along the streets, passing gas station after gas station until I realized that the auto needed some gas after all (Have you ever tried pushing a car up Peach Street), paid twenty-five tents and filled it up again. I was plarml7‘g on having another wild weekend, so I bad to procure my supply of oatmeal and kool-aid root beer was the flavor-of- the-month) I muscled nor vehicle in between two Vollawagons„ opened the door, and in twenty minutes I had pulled morself out of the car. When I came back, two mammoth Valiants bad sandwiched my poor little car; I wanted to kick them but I remembered how sore my right foot was from bang ing out the right front window. I climbed into it (fifteen minuted this time) and aimed it homeward. It had started to rain and I found out that my windshield wipers didn't work; but it didn't matter, my left arm hanging out the window did a commendable job. One's sleeves get a lettle soiled but it saves on the battery. I now pulled into the driveway, got out in a record thirteen minutes, took the kool-aid out of the back seat, the cookies out of the trunk, and parked my vehicle under the =Elkhorn. I then went into the house, and found that while Ives out Corvairing, my seven-year old brother bad gotten the exact same car in the bottom of a box of Cracker jack
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers