THE CAPITAL TIMES Sarz s Meilia Yirus The Hills Have Eyes The Details: Fox Searchlight Pictures presents a film staring Aaron Stanford, Emilie de Ravin, and Ted Levine. Written by Alexandre Aja, Wes Crav en, and Gregory Levasseur. Directed by Alexandre Aja. The film has a running time of 107 minutes and is rated R for strong gruesome violence, terror throughout, and language. The Low Down: A family on a cross country trip takes a shortcut through a nuclear testing area inhabited by killer mutants. The Dirty: “The Hills Have Eyes” huh? Maybe they should have named it “The Hills Have Eyes Like Sloth From Goonies.” They could have even named it “Bad Remake of The Hills Have Eyes,” or something like “You’ll Want Your Eight Bucks Back Cuz Your Eyes Ran for the Hills.” But alas, they kept the title of the original cult classic from the late seventies. Now, one thing you should always keep in mind about cult classics is that they aren’t necessarily good, but they usually have some quirk about them that makes watching them somewhat enjoyable. It has KRISTEN POOLE for THE CAPITAL TIMES March 28 Memoirs of a Geisha Nitta Sayuri reveals how she transcended her fishing-village roots and became one of Japan’s most celebrated geisha ®®m Kill Switch falls short of expectations By MATTHEW MAHONEY Staff Reporter MLMSO39(3PSU.EDU Kill Switch, the newest release from Namco, puts a new face on fast action shooter games, but falls short of an amazing spectacle. In this game, you control the actions of a character known only as Bishop. The plot twist to the whole game is that Bishop is never really in control of himself until the very end. Bishop is a trained “super soldier” that has implants, which place him above the rest. These implants also allow him to be remotely controlled. The plot is confusing at first and the player really needs to listen to the dialogue for it all to make sense. The game play requires a character to actually take cover more than run in Rambo style and waste everyone. March 27, 2006 Slightly Contageous Film Reviews For The Average Joe been a long time since 1 saw the original, but last time 1 checked the reason that it was a cult classic was that it was so laughable. It was one of those movies that you could easily turn into a drinking game and be sideways a half an hour in. I think somewhere in the latest craze of horror movie remakes someone missed the fact that the original wasn’t all that scary', and the only reason people liked it was because it w as funny. Don’t get me wrong, some good things have come out of the mind of Wes Crav en, the Nightmare On Elm Street series is a completely wonderful and enjoyable ball of cheese, but this film is not. Although this movie, for lack of a better word, sucks, it would still make a pretty good drinking game. For the purpose of being in a theater, I decided to drink soda. The rules are simple, every time you are reminded of Sloth, from the movie Goonies, drink. Every time one of the dogs is overly anxious to escape, gives away the fact that it is trained for obedience trials, or scores a kill, drink. Eveiy time you feel like the film insults your intelligence, drink twice. To put it simply, I had to go to the restroom every fifteen minutes or so, and I didn’t miss much. Wait for this one to show up as a Sunday Rainy Day Matinee on some random public access channel because honestly, it’s just that good, and we don’t have public access channels in this area. IMDB.com’s new DVD releases March 28 King Kong An overly ambitious movie producer coerces his cast and ship crew to travel to mysterious Skull Island, where they encounter Kong, a giant ape who is immediately smitten with leading lady. @@@@ Make no mistake; this is not any sort of stealthy sneak around style of game. Rather this game is very up front and to the point but if a player doesn’t take cover they will quickly find themselves starting the hoard over auam Cover in this game can be anything. Walls, boxes, v ehicles and even thin pillars all can be used to provide cover. Using the cover also means there are many ways to play through the game. There is no set wav to beat each level, l.very player can choose a different way to attack each area. While behind cover, a player can also blind fire. Blind firing is when Bishop fires a gun over top of or around the cover he is behind, without exposing himself. While less accurate, it does cause enemies to duck and stop shooting for a brief time. The Libertine The Details: Fox Searchlight Pictures presents a film staring Johnny Depp and John Malkovich, written by Stephen Jeffreys and directed by Laurence Dunmore, The film has a running time of 130 minutes and is rated R for strong sexual content, language, some drug and alcohol usage, and violence. The Low Down: The stoiy of John Wilmot, the Earl of Rochester, a 17th century poet and artist who drank and partied his way to an early death. The Dirty: I have no clue what to give this movie. Does it deserve four stars, does it deserve two? 1 just don’t know. Was I entertained? Yes, but I am still somewhat lost. Here is the problem; the film is in Old English, a 1600 s dialect to be a little more precise. Now the film is basically about the rock star lifestyle of that era and all the bad things that come along with it, and that should be cool right? Um... yeah, still can’t tell. Maybe if I were a little more March 28 Sound of Thunder When a hunter sent back to the prehistoric era runs off the path he must not leave, he causes a chain reaction that alters history in disastrous ways. The Artificial Intelligence of the enemies in this game is a learning Al. As you play, the enemies will learn your tactics and what you normally do to get through an area. Over time the Al will learn to use grenades at just the right time. If a player usually stays in one area without focusing on the surroundings then the enemies will actually set up suppressive fire while another enemy Hanks you. If a player keeps on playing the same level and going to the same area the Al will predict where you will move to and set up an ambush. To defeat the multitude of evolving digital based enemies, Bishop gains an arsenal that is never short on ammunition. Picking up new weapons and ammo from defeated enemies means a player never really runs out of ammo. cultured I could decipher it a bit better, but I am not that good when it comes to breaking down the Old English. 1 don’t act in Shakespearian plays, I don’t time travel back in time to the 17"' century on a daily basis, and 1 am not an actor at the “Ren Faire.” So, I must say it was very difficult to muddle through the accents, wording, and sentence structure of the period. This is okay to pull with Shakespeare because everyone knows the general gist of the story. This story on the other hand is not as easy to wade through. The first half of the film I didn’t feel all that lost, but once we hit the halfway mark, I watched my concept of what was going on start to slip away. Now when I say this, what I mean is that it is just very easy to lose touch with the supporting story and only have time to get the main plot. I can give you the basic plot the whole way through, but there is no way I can tell you anything about the intricacies of the film, because they flew at you so fast in what may have well been a foreign language that you took a few years of in high school. See it, don’t see it, that’s your call on this one. I recommend a DVD rental so you can rewind every time someone exclaims, “What’d they just say?” ®®®® March 28 Stay Between the worlds of the living and the dead there is a place you’re not supposed to stay. This movie focuses on the attempts of an Ivy League Professor to prevent one of his students from committing suicide. @@@s Because of this, a player will start to have favorite weapon types they know will get the job done, and also figure out which ones they can use to just spray bullets. The controls are easy enough to use, but in some areas the frantic need to take cover can get in the way of killing an enemy right next to the player. By using the cover command, the player is almost locked into position against a surface. Movement along the object is allowed but the character’s aim is limited based on the direction of the movement. This can lead to some aggravating times when enemy soldiers are right on top of Bishop and a player can do nothing because they are stuck to the wall and can’t turn enough to shoot someone. Saving the game is not up to the player either. Game saves are only Lost Treasures: Films you haven’t seen but should Ravenous The Details: 20th Century Fox presents a film staring Guy Pearce, David Arquette, Jeffrey Jones, and Robert Carlyle, directed by Antonia Bird, and written by Ted Griffin. The film has a running time of 100 minutes and is rated R for considerable gore and strong violence. The Low Down: A man who was lost in the wilderness and brings tales of cannibalism, is found by soldiers at a remote fort during the Mexican-American War. The Dirty: One part horror, one part comedy, one part western, and one part thriller, equals one potent potion for April 4 The Chronicles of Narnia Brokeback Mountain Four kids travel through a wardrobe to the land of Narnia and learn of their destiny to free it with the guidance of a lion messiah. @@@(? allowed after completing a board in full, not while still playing a board. It raises thedifficultyofthe game and allows the learning Al to find new ways to defeat the player. Music in this game is fantastic. It really sets the mood. It goes from simple orchestra music to full out In Kill Switch, the Al learns your tactics and uses them in order to defeat you. electric guitar leads and sound effects that are a part of the music. Unfortunately the music alone is not enough to redeem this game. AvailableonPlaystation, Playstation a Inn horror film. 1 figured you may feel a bit ripped off after "The Hills Have Eyes " remake, so 1 figured I’d hook you up with a horror film that actually works. If you are used to the standard horror film this one may be a bit more enjoyable. Why you ask, because it isn't your standard setting, it isn't your standard situation, and it certainly is a bit scarier when people get a hankering lor Hank. This film is nothing spectacular, but it is a jumpy, gross out, good time. One other thing it is, it’s cheap. You can find it in bargain bins everywhere. Granted there was a re-release of it last year which bumped price up on that version, but the older version has been spotted in Wal-Mart five dollar bins in the area, and if you don't find it there you can get it for dirt on llalf.com. This film is great for what it is, and it is worth a look, so I am giving it a four out of five in the Horror movie genre and not stacking it up against films designed to win awards. So grab yourself a cheeseburger and hunker down to watch a film all about eating. Official film website: http://www. foxirun ies.com/ravenous/ @@@@ April 4 Based oil the \i. Annie Proulx story about a forbidden and secretive relationship between two cowboys and their lives over the years. @@@@ Photo courtesy of googfe.com 2 and Xbox, Kill Switch is a game to rent, not to buy. The replay value is nonexistent, there is no online play available just yet, and it’s single player only.
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