t k i , • • • Brought to you by: VID, He's everywhere you want to be What do you like best about Penn State Harrisburg? Bonito Vidito Toilet Training "They finally have classes for us freshmen." Biff Vidley Sports Mascotting "Any event where I can take my shirt off and paint letters on my chest" Hcnyl Divad Snoitacinummoc "moc.zrasdnadiv.www" Captain Vid Redcheeks Software Piracy "Arrrrgh, They let me bring me trusty parrot Lynchy to class, matey!" Vidalia Impalia Pharmaceuticals "David Lynch is a sexy beast, YOW!" PSH STUDENT GIVES A DUCK ABOUT ANIMAL RIGHTS Sacrifices valuable sports memorabilia in daring rescue Ducks, they're man's best friend. And this weekend, a man became a duck's best friend. What brought these two together, hand-in-feather? A heroic rescue. Vid Lynch describes the scene. "I was just walking around in the afternoon that day, setting the elements of the periodic table to song in my head, when all of a sudden I heard this barking," he said. He sprinted around the corner to behold a horrific sight. NOTE TO READERS: THE FOLLOWING IS VERY GRAPHIC, YOU MAY WANT TO SHRED THIS PAGE NOW IF YOU GET QUEASY. "I turned the corner and saw a duck, hanging from a window. I noticed that one of its four legs and its tail were caught in a window fan," Vid said. Duckily, our hero was prepared for such a situation. autographed 1965 Harmon Killebrew Louisville Slugger bat with him on his walk that day. In a quickly thought-out move, Vid tossed the bat javelin-style into the window fan, effectively stopping "It was nothing short of a miracle. Sure, some splinters flew, and the bat is worth a lot," he said. "But even Harmon Killebrew would agree, the life of that furry, playful duck is worth far more than a piece of lumber." The duck was scared and in pain, and at first resisted the rescue attempt. But Vid sang a moving rendition of Madonna's "Lucky Star" to soothe the savage beast, and was able to gently pry him free. The duck hobbled home happily with Vid. "I could say I was just in the right place at the right time, but I think it was destiny," Vid said, his eyes misting up. "Not only did I make a rescue (sniff), I made a friend." And may they live quackily ever after. By HUGH MANATEE Capital Times Animal Lover "I watch 'Animal Cops' on Animal Planet religiously," he said. "You just never know when a furry, black and white, four-legged duck with a tail will get caught in a window fan, you have to be on your toes!" And Vid was. He knew enough to bring his Above: Vid and his new pet duck right after the dramatic rescue Rrll A likeness of the evil fan which attacked the poor defenseless duck. Right: Vid celebrates his triumph!
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