CAPITAL TIMES, May 2, 1990 "Death of a Printer" lIZPNAIRIY by Vic and Hank PSH lost a dear and true friend on April 24. It was a sad day and many students mourn the loss. People may think we are silly to lament the loss of Laze R. Printer, but they do not realize how Laze helped so many students in times of need. Laze R. Printer collapsed while printing Mark Tuttle's last-minute 25 page paper for his "Introduction to Intermediate Musical Anthropology in Lower Mesopotamia" class. The cause of death was apparent overuse complicated by superabundant sentence fragments and run-on sentence printing. The computer center staff eulogized his memory with an ivory tombstone that reads: HERE LIES LAZE R. PRINTER R.I.P. (REAL INCONSISTENT PERFORMANCE) The tombstone rests on the table behind the counter, where Laze once performed his print jobs. Laze R. Printer took pride in his • many pnnt jobs. He was 5 years old and lived in the computer lab at PSH. Laze was hospitalized several times during the semester--at a high cost. However, the doctors could do nothing to cure the printer's chronic inconsistent printing problems. Specialists said Laze could live with a life-support unit, but would only survive a couple months longer because of the heavy workload he received throughout the day. Laze produced resumes, term papers and other printed forms of communication for PSH students. We will remember Laze for his letter-quality output and speedy printing. Friends and family of Laze said they will remember him for his "efficiency and sensitivity." They said they want to remember Laze at his best and not during his last few months of life when his \ ....................„ ..... V ... ihA L w.. 7 1.0..... w 1P417 A t ..,,, .- • / '.. \\ % . 1 \), / TO , ) ii 1 Z 1 v 1 Ili El• Why wait for summer when you can get started on your tan today? As members of the Suntanning Association for Educaton, we pledge to provide you with personal care and stay informed so that we are able to keep you informed. Call today to set up a free consultation. ~.. Mirth, .. C i tA• ." Youcli of Class Nand Edualional a TANNING AND FIGURE SALON Training Program Grubb 100 Brown St., Middletown, Pa. 17057 M-F - 8:30a.m. to 10p m. Sat. - 8:30a.m. to 6p.m. (717) 944-2400 Sun. - noon to sp.m. ARTS & LEISURE work became inconsistent. Laze worked 7 days a week at PSH--averaging 88 hours per week. He printed term papers as a primary work duty, but had many hobbies. Laze printed resumes, letters to students' friends, professors' papers, and graphics as extracurricular activities. Laze R. Printer is survived by his sister, Proprinter. The young Rugged Writer will take over Laze's duties in the PSH computer lab. Mouie Guide By:John L. Berger Capital City Mall Cimemas "Cry Baby" Starring Johnny Depp and former porn star, Traci Lords, this movie has got to be considered the worst movie in the past decade. Johnny Depp stars as "Cry Baby" because of his tendancy to release a single tear for no decipherable reason. "Cry Baby" is a musical, with an appearance strikingly similar to "Grease". Based in the "doo-wop" era, the movie is about Johnny Depp's attempts to capture the heart of a stereotypical private-school girl of the late 50's. The movie itself if filled with very poor acting, undesirable women (one even has the name of "hatchet face" which, believe me, is being generous), no plot or story, and an annoying tendancy to unsuccessfully have some humor in it. However, I would encourage those who like 50's rock-and roll to purchase the soundtrack which is (ironically) very good. This movie is an embarassment to Universal Studios, and I strongly advise against going to see it--unless you're a teeny-bopper with no taste in movies. (Sorry guys, but Traci Lords doesn't show anything in this movie.) RATING -- 1 out of 5 (0 out of 5 if there was no music!) Universal Studios "Joe Vs. The Volcano" Many popular critics have called this movie a failure, but I (and the ticket sales) beg to differ. Starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, "Joe" is a movie with a story difficult to mention without telling the story itself, but here goes. Joe Banks (Tom Hanks) is a man whose life has been miserable for the past seven years. Upon discovering that Joe has a fatal brain infection , a wealthy superconductor manufacturer hires him to jump into a volcano in order to get mineral rights from the island's inhabitants, claiming that Joe should "live like a king, die like a man." Meg Ryan, who plays three different characters, shows once again her versatility as an actress. Eventually, the two (Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan's third character) fall in love and as it comes time to jump into the volcano...well, you'll have to see it. The movie is a delight to see because of its unique story, good humor, and all star cast (Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Lloyd Record Bob Caton Capital Times Stoll Damn Yankees DAMN YANKEES (WB 9 26159-4) (C) 1990 Warner Brothers Records Ted Nugent, king of arena rock in the Seventies. Tommy Shaw, guitarist/vocalist for Styx. Jack Blades, bassist for mid-eighties darlings Night Ranger Michael Cartellone, drummer--and no doubt junior member I usually want to be sick when I hear of a group like the Damn Yankees forming. I have memories of disasters like Asia that still haunt me, of bands that can't even see over each other's egos enough to make music they're capable of. I was ready to cast Damn Yankees aside even before I bored through the shrink-wrap. I am glad I stuck it out. Damn Yankees may be the only true rock classic to be released this year. These guys have succeeded where Bad English failed. Rockers like "Coming of Age" and "Tell Me How You Want It" are H()%it 1()11,\ VIDE 0, VCR A VIDEO RENTAL NO MEMBERSHIP FEE MON. - FRI SAIURDAY CLOSED SUN. Bridges, Robert Stack, and Ave Vigoda) I strongly suggest seeing it: Starring Eric Idle (from "Monty Python" fame) and Robbie Coltrane, "Nuns on the Run" is about two bank robbers who steal money from their employers and end up hiding in a private, Catholic school for girls 18-22 years of age. Janet Suzman plays Faith who eventually falls in love with Eric Idle and vice versa. The movie is filled with the expected "close calls" that men haphazardly acting as nuns would face, and with the basic humorous events that only British humor can relay. Although it's not truly in the "spirit of Monty Python", it's a very good movie and definitely worth seeing. However, those who don't like British humor may think otherwise. RATING --4 out of 5 Handmade Films/Twentieth Century Fox comparable to the heaviest hitting chart killers from Aerosmith, and the ballad "High P.nough" Makes wanna-bes like Warrant sound like Pat Boone on acid. This is quality stuff, campers. The voices of Shaw and Blades compliment well, and Nugent (thankfully) is kept away from the microphone for everything but the hyperdrive burner "Piledriver." . Nugent is playing like he is 20 years old again. His guitar throne may be occupied by Steve Vai right now, but the Nuge can still crank like the "Motor City Madman" when he has to. Add that to his new depth of playing, team him with the considerable skills of Shaw, and you have a double guitar team that is comparable to Vai and his Whitesnake partner, Adrian Vandenberg. The hot tracks are easy to find here...just put the album on. There isn't a weak song in the bunch, although some of the tracks get a little overloaded. Some instrumental streamilining would have helped this album to truly classic status. As it stands, however, nothing has been released to compare it to since Aerosmith's "Pump", and the Damn Yankees hold up rather nicely. Rating (out of five stars)--- * * * * 1/2 100 BROWN lIT. MICOLITOWN. PA 11.110 • 11:00 10A10 - LOO RATTING-4-1/2 out of 5 Warner Brothers "Nuns on the Run" Reuiew LEHMAN CLEANERS INC. "JUST A LITTLE FINER" DRY CLEANERS ALTERATIONS Mon. thru Fri. 8 am - 5:45 pm Sat. 8 am - 2 pm PHONE 944 -6841 Spruce & Conewago Streets Middletown, Pa.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers