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Before we begin our column, we have
a bit of news to give you. Unfortunately,
it's not good news. Last week during the
Rites of Spring, one of the events held
was the bathtub race. The winners of the
race were the guys from second floor
Church. Their mean machine (we're
talkin' mean) was well built, and care
fully put together. Under the skillful eye
of Bob Sharkey ( Hi, I'm Bob Sharkey.
Damn glad to meet you!) their machine
raced to victory in the annual event. The
driver was Dave Faust, and pushers
included Mark DiPietro, Mark Fuhrman,
Don Hemler, and a host of others.
Second floor Church took the early lead
and held it until the end. Way to go,
guys! It was the dorms over the Heights
once again. Now for the bad news. On
Wednesday night, while the LTD's were
losing their playoff bid in bowling, their
bathtub was destroyed by someone. If
you have never seen a bunch of upset
guys before, just ask Dave Faust if last
Wednesday was his favorite day. Blood
was in his eyes and murder was in his
hands (sounds like a Nancy Drew mys
tery), as Faust and Company were out
stalking the campus. We really feel for
the guys, because we know all of the
time that was put into their "Pride and
Joy." That evening, their tub was placed
between the dorms for its executioner to
view. Being religious minded, we paid
our respects. We bowed our heads in a
moment of silence. May it rest in peace.
Closer to home, the Strat-O-Matics
ended a dismal season by whipping
MSU. In our first game, we were led by
Tish Whalen (not us or Fleet or Ed). We
finished at 13-19. In the playoffs are the
Vipers, WGAF, WSDC, and the Prowl
ers. Our money is on WSDC, because
they have the second-best looking girls.
Now, it's time for the First Annual
Capitol Campus Bowling Awards:
_ _
SMILE AT A SPLIT AWARD: Pat
Cavanaugh
FIVE-PIN AWARD: Eric Roth, for
getting the most five pins.
- WAVING AT A STRIKE AWARD:
John Pietrowski
HAVING THE MOST MEMBERS
ON THEIR TEAM AWARD: WSDC,
hands down!
BEST LOOKING T-SHIRTS
AWARD: The Strat-O-Matics, who else!
MOST IMPROVED AWARD: Tish
Whalen, since it's our column.
MOST TIMES HAVING NO
OPPONENTS TO BOWL AWARD: The
Vipers.
• BOWLING TWO 200's AND NOT
GETTING A 600 SERIES AWARD: Joe
Bozik
MOST TIMES BEING LATE FOR
BOWLING AWARD: Harry Moyer
LOUDEST TEAM AWARD: The
LTD's. Harry Moyer gets second place.
MOST INCONSISTENT TEAM
AWARD: The Strat-'O-Matics. We're
talking inconsistent!
LUCKIEST 200 GAME AWARD:
Fleet Becker
BOWLING WHILE INJURED
AWARD: Ed McDonald, for the injury
to his arm. It only made him bowl better.
Capitolizing on Sports
Sports Scoop
An Inside Look
Darrell Reider And Kevin Spiegel
[Above] The mud brought out the best
wrestling in everyone at the annual
Rites of Spring festival. [Below] Driver
Dave Faust of 2nd Floor Church guides
his floor's entry to victory during the
Bathtub Race of Rites of Spring.
Monday, June 8, 1981
Another award that we are handing
out is the "We Feel Sorry For You
Award." This week we have co-winners,
and the first is Cathy Russo. A couple of
weeks ago, Cathy got into a car accident.
The reason she wins our award is
because she is a good-looking girl and
drives a beautiful car, so she didn't
deserve that accident. That's why she is
co-recipient of the award. The other
co-winner is Roberta Bronson. The
reason that we chose Ms. Bronson is
because she is not feeling well. Her back
has been giving her trouble and the
doctor gave her medicine, which she
later found out she was allergic to. Now
Roberta can't even scratch her back,
because it's not good for her. After the
last SGA meeting, Roberta needed to
scratch all over, because she was "itchy"
to get out.
Photos by Steve Myers
note Club
Speaking of our new SGA president,
we had the privilege of doing an in-depth
interview with Ms. Bronson. Well, she
hails from the booming metropolis' of
Bloomsburg, Pa., and lives on a farm.
Boy, can't you picture Roberta working
on a farm in her overalls, milking a cow
or roping a calf! We would love to see
her. Roberta is the successor to Rosanne
Rosenberger as SGA president. Some
facts that the sports department dug up
on Roberta come from her roomie Donna
Wilson. Donna says, "She always talks in
her sleep, and even fights in her sleep."
For those of you who are trying to get in
touch with Donna, Roberta is likely to
answer your call. Be sure to mention
your name a few times, because she does
not take good phone messages. Let's get
with it, Ms. Bronson! On the serious side
of Roberta, people who have not had the
pleasure of meeting this charming,
cheerful, and understanding girl are
missing one hell of a nice person. She is
5'9" (soaking wet) and lives in W 206, so
drop by and cheer her up. Besides
Donna, Roberta talks to her animals and
the wall (usually after SGA meetings).
When you're out partying and drop in at
the local bar, and Roberta is sitting at a
nearby table, buy her a drink. Her
favorite one is a root beer soda—straight
up! Good luck, and we hope your
upcoming year will be a pleasurable one.
Last week, the annual athletic
awards were handed out. Among the top
names present were Jack Wilson for
basketball, Tony Beccone for baseball
(and the Gong Show), John Pietrowski
for bowling, Lois Eltonhead for Tennis,
Dinah Bohannon for the cheerleaders,
And James (JR) Scott for soccer. There
were also special awards handed out to
two graduating seniors. Jack Wilson,
who owns more basketballs than the
basketball team had wins, received an
award for his outstanding contribution
to varsity basketball. Tim Christine, the
Nolan Ryan of Capitol Campus, received
an award for his outstanding contribu
tion to varsity baseball. Congratulations
to Jack and Tim, and good luck with
their respective athletic careers. For
those of you interested, the Utah Jazz
has asked Jack to send a personal
biography about his basketball career to
them. We hope the Jazz consider Wilson,
and he becomes a member of their team
in the future. He deserves it! Also, a
special congratulations to all of those
students receiving plaques for their play
C.C. Reader