C.C. Reader
Letters To The Editor
Wumke Is
Positively Negative
Editor
Since no one has yet seen fit to enter
the "Leonard Wumke Teddy Bear and
Duck Bath Contest," I have decided to
hold the contest open until the next issue
and give you one more chance. As there
seems to be some confusion over just
what the prize will be awarded for, be
advised that the main criterion will be
creativity. If no one enters by next issue,
I win the free case of Iron. (Joke's on me,
huh?)
What did you think of the Presiden
tial Inauguration on Tuesday? I was all
teary-eyed when they played "Hail fa
the Chief," but I haven't been able to
figure out whether they were tears of
joy or of something else.
As of this writing, the Ayatollah's
gang still has our people on the wrong
side of the Iranian border. I'm saying
extra prayers that they'll be freed by the
time you read this.
On to Capitol Campus politics. I was
extremely pleased to hear recently that
Rosanne and her accomplices have man
aged to appropriate the $140,000 needed
for the completion of Vendorville's reno
vation. This was accomplished when a
University Park-type bureaucrat was
visiting Capitol Campus and happened to
ask what might be done to improve
student life. Well, our kids asked for the
money and, by gosh, we got it. My
heartiest congratulations to all Capitol
ites involved.
But all is not rose-colored. Now that
the money has been appropriated, on
campus politics is making its appear
ance. It seems now that there are petty
squabbles among administration and
others concerning type and color of
Question...
Dear Sirs:
During the past two weeks I have
received numerous tickets for parking
"illegally," but each time my car was
parked in an area clearly labeled "Fine
for Parking."
What's the story? What kind of fool
instituted the current parking regula
tions here on campus?
Dear Baffled,
We never knew that there was more
than one kind of fool.
You obviously have not learned the
parking rules. You must have done one
of two things wrong: -1) double-parked,
or 2) parked in a no-passing zone.
Where'd you get your license any
way, Parker Brothers?
furniture, etc. Now really, Teddy, Jerry,
and whoever else might be involved,
why can't you let the Vendorville Com
mittee perform the functions of selecting
furniture and the other minor details of
Reconstruction? After all, that's what
the committee was formed for in the first
place.
While I'm on gripes, I might as well
air a new pet peeve of mine. It has come
to my attention that funds will soon be
solicited from Capitol Campus alumni for
the purpose of building a "new and
better" sign for the campus entrance.
Who really cares about that sign? I
didn't come here because of the damn
sign! I came for the academics and other
fun stuff. Now I'm as much for progress
as any other normal conservative Re
publican South-Central Pennsylvania
Dutchman, but there are more pressing
needs on campus that I can see. One
suggestion would be to work on im
provements for the Student Center so
more on-campus residents might benefit
from it. Or perhaps financial help for the
baseball field under construction.
This has been an awfully negative
letter for a person as optimistic as
myself. I'll try to be more positive next
time. One more thing: Eagles by seven.
By now you know, I remain
We Goofed
Dear Editor
In reference to your "Letter to the
Editor" in the November 20, 1980 issue
of the C.C. Reader I wish to respond to
the questions you raised regarding Ve
hicle Regulations.
The use of the word "year" instead of
"term" in Section B Article 2 resulted
from a proofreader error at the time this
booklet was published. As you have
noticed the other sections of the Vehicle
Regulations do refer to term by term
vehicle registration. I have called this
Ask
A Stupid
By Bill Neil And Dave Caruso
Gentleiten:
I am a new student at Capitol
Campus, and since I have arrived I have
noticed a very peculiar habit. Everyone
around here seems to drink enormous
quantities of Coca-Cola. Everyone! I
have even observed a certain professor
who drinks a can of Coke every day
while teaching his class. Tell me, why do
people of this area drink so much Coke?
Terry Gortis
Baffled
Dear Terry,
What do you expect people to do with
Coke, eat it with a fork? Or maybe
chopsticks? Perhaps with their fingers?
And besides, Terry, nobody ever
accused Coke of being finger lickin' good.
Thursday, January 22,1981
LEONARD WUMKE
error to the attention of those responsi
ble for the manual who will insure that it
is corrected for subsequent editions.
Since all students, handicapped or
otherwise, are required to register their
vehicles each term, I think there is no
discrimination in this policy.
Regarding Section E Article 6, no fee
is charged for a qualified student to park
in restricted residence areas. There is a
50 cents charge to cover the cost to the
University for the decal itself. This is the
only amount a student is asked to pay for
registering for , a restricted residence
area.
I hope this letter has helped to clarify
the uncertainties you expressed. If you
would like to discuss the matter, please
contact me. Thank you very much for
calling these items to our attention.
Sincerely,
James D. South
Director, Student Affairs
Ca 11-ege Event
Dear Capitol Campus Students:
This is an invitation for you to help
your campus and yourself by taking part
in the first-ever Capitol Campus Alumni
Phcnathon.
The phonathon will be held on eight
evenings, beginning Monday, Feb. 9
through Thursday, Feb. 12 and again the
following week, Monday, Feb. 16through
Thursday, Feb. 19.
Purpose of the phonathon is to raise
at least $5,000, via student phone solici
tation of some 4,300 Capitol Campus
Alumni, to build a new brick and cement
entrance sign that would replace the
deteriorating billboard on Route 230.
The Capitol Campus Alumni Society,
sponsors of the phonathon, wants people
entering or passing by the campus to see
an entrance sign of dignity and beauty.
In addition to helping the campus,
phonathon participants can also help
Gentlemen:
I think my friend has gone crazy, but
I cannot be sure. He insists that the
person who wears the Nittany Lion suit
during the football games at University
Park receives free tuition. I maintain
that this is ludicrous. Does the lion
actually get some rather substantial
fringe benefits, or has my friend gone
crazy?
Dear Donald,
Since you are actually asking us two
questions, we aren't sure which is the
mane issue.
To begin with, no--the mascot does
not get free tuition. However, he does
receive other fringe benefits. He is an
honorary member of the soroarity of his
choice. He can attend any tailgate
parties he wishes to. And he is possibly
the most pawpular man on campus.
To answer the second part of your
question, we cannot determine from this
one incident if your friend has gone crazy
or not. But if he believes that the lion is
given free tuition, we have some swamp
land lion' around in Florida...
Dear Sirs:
I have a pet pig who recently stepped
on a nail and hurt • her hoof. Can you
recommend anything to help her?
Mr. Zachary Zee
Dear Mister
Try putting a little oinkment on it
themselves and/or the student organi
zations to which they belong. The three
student organizations which raise the
most money in pledges will receive cash
prizes of $175, $125, and $lOO respect
ively, for their treasuries.
There also will be cash prizes for
those individuals--regardless of organ
izational affiliation, if any--who raise the
most money over the course of the
phonathon. Top individual prize is $lOO,
second prize is $5O, and third prize---
which will go to the next eight best fund
raisers--is $25 apiece.
There's still more. For each night
(three hours) of participation, each caller
will be entitled to a free five-minute
phone call anywhere in the continental
United States. So if you sign up for, say,
three nights, you'll be entitled to three
five-minute (or one 15-minute) phone
calls.
Onto the nitty-gritty: Students wish
ing to participate on any or all of the
nights should sign up immediately in the
Student Activities Office. We have room
for 15 callers a night. To insure that
clubs will have a fair chance in the
competition, no more than six members
of any one club can sign up for any one
night--until Feb. 2, that is, when any club
can fill the remaining vacancies to its
heart's content.
On the eight nights, phone calls will
be made from 6:45 to 9:45 p.m. from the
Campus Relations Office and Provost's
Office, where the phone banks will be
located. Callers will be asked to show up
at 6 p.m., however, for orientation. A
packet of• materials, including phone
scripts, will be included, not to mention
T shirts and refreshments.
Help us make the new entrance sign
a reality by signing up for the phona
thon.
MM=2I
While attending a meeting last week
in the Gallery Lounge, I heard tell of
tentative plans for the installation of
new fire alarms in the Main Building.
This is an interesting idea; can you
verify it?
Dear Paula,
Donald Reiley
We also heard Tell last week, but
unfortunately we cannot answer your
question.
You see, we did not find Mr. Tell's
idea as interesting as you did. In fact, we
didn't even hear it; his talk lulled us to
sleep 'after five minutes.
Perhaps if he had brought some
alarms with him to demonstrate...
Gentlemen
Can you please tell me what the
longest river in the world is?
Noah Jones
Dear Mr. Jones,
Yes, we can tell you. But why do you
want to know-a?
If you have a question , send it
to us. We welcome any and all requests
for information, and will make every
effort to respond to each one we receive.
Please bring letters to the C.O
READER Office or give them to one of
the authors. Include your name and
place of residence, although names will
be withheld upon request, and be sure to
mark each one "Questions."
Roger L. Williams
Director of Campus Relations
Your cooperation will be appreciated
Thank you,
Paula Bewber