page 8 by jeff drinnan "No dogs permitted in building" read many signs around campus. This edict was made following numerous problems with canines on campus. During the early years of Capitol Campus, dogs were allowed to run at large, free to roam the halls and lounges-- virtually allowed to go any where. But their behavior proved a detriment to campus life. Dogs performed their rites of Spring, often right in front, of the students and even in front of the students' parents. For the campus image, this was not at all good. Night and day, these canines howled, disturbing the peace of the community. On one occasion, dogs caused a panic on campus. As the story goes, a gang of dogs wandered into a keggar one night. Each dog placed his paw on the tap and :wallowed some beer causing foam to run from his mouth. People in the Student Center ran for their lives, for fear that the dogs were rabid. Following this mass ex odus, the SPCA arrived on ulw Calendar Capitol Campus Lecture Konstantin Simonovitch, conductor and composer B P.m. Gallery Lounge IsliayajLY That Hamilton Woman Bp.m. HACC Nov. 5 Mon Film Advise and Consent 9:25 a.m. Auditorium Book and Author Dinner Paul Beers, Wm. C.Davis, Robert Fowler, Arthur Lewis and Theodore Gross cocktails: 5:30 p.m Dinner: 6:30 p.m. Tickets: $lO.OO Host Inn Nov.B Thur Major Dance Performance Danceteller 8 p.m. $1 general public free to faculty, staff, studee Nov. 9 Fri. Psycho 8 p.m. Hershey Med. Center This space will be used for listing rides wanted and rides • available. If anyone needs or is able to provide a ride please call the c.c. reader office, 944-4970. This is a chance for us all to help each other out. Please keep in mind that the C.C.Reader is printed every two weeks and plan accordingly. This service is co-sponsored by the Office of Student Affairs and the C.C.Reader. Why dogs are forbidden to frequent Capitol Campus the scene. Seeing the gang of dogs chasing their tails and generally carrying on, they confirmed the report that the dogs were rabid. The few remaining people were disco dancing, which indicated to the SPCA workers that the dogs must have bitten them, and made them rabid. The SPCA took the dogs to the veterinary hospital and the campus police took the students to the people hospit al. Much to everybody's sur pise, the dogs and the people were found not rabid. It was later realized that the keggar incident was the dogs' plot to monopolize the Student Cen ter On another occasion, the same gang of dogs stole all the balls at an intramural softball game. One by one, the dogs snuck off with softballs which were lying on the sidelines. When the last remaining ball was hit into the outfield, the gang launched its final as sault. As the ball rolled in the outfield, one dog ran out onto the field, snatched the ball, and fled with the rest of the gang. The students weren't con cerned, since the dogs hadn't touched their keg of beer. But when the Lower Swatara po- rides available lice heard what had happened, they pursued the gang with helicopters equipped with machine guns, and even chas ed the dogs in police cars, while throwing hand grenades at them. After eluding the police, the gang found a secret hideout. Some time passed before these outlaws came to Capitol Campus again. During regis tration one day they attacked several students, tearing flesh and causing blood to spurt out. The students were told to finish registration. Later, during a graduation ceremony held outside, the dogs returned. After having run in mud puddles, the dirty dogs climbed all over cars belonging to administration and faculty members and ran off. The ceremony was stop ped and the National Guard called in. After unsuccessfully conducting a search-and-des troy mission, the National Guard left. Because of the dirty tricks dogs have played, the admin istration decided to place "no dogs permitted in building" signs around campus, banish ing dogs from the paradise of Middletown. Lecture Dr. Russell Weigley Topic: "The Second World War: A Reconsideration." 12:15 p.m. Gallery Lounge Recently, I saw a dog Books Getting To You? strolling around campus. I was quite surpised that he buddied up to me. Perhaps his mother never told him about the unfriendly attitude toward dogs here, or he may not have read the anti-canine sighs. If the authorities find him, they may take him in for questioning, since he might know where the gang is hid ing out. No amnesty will be given to the gang of dogs who Its that time again time to hit the books. But when they start to hit back, take a break & drop by Sera-Tec where you can RELAX ... & make $6B a month. Ca11:232-1901 We are Open Mon. - Thurs. II:4S a.m. • 7:06 p.M. Friday 1:45 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. Sera-Tee Biological!, 260 REILY STREET, NARRISINIRG terrorized Capitol Campus, and privileges for canines will not be reinstated. The administration said that the dogs cannot be rehabilitated. In fact, they said that you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Students are warned that if they let a dog into their dwelling or pat one, they will be in trouble for giving aid and comfort to the enemy. 140 BINS cANT Ycv IWO OR D 035 *1 CAMPUS , BUILDINGS c.c. reader
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