Page 4
A. A Bit O’
Bestiality
Dear Otto,
I need your advice. What would you do if your roomate’s
boyfriend moved into your house with his hamsters. I would
like her boyfriend to stay but not his hamsters. What should
I do?
Dear Three more mouths to feed,
Knowing hamsters the way I do, it is a fact that they
sleep separately. Tell your roommate to try doing the same
thing, and I’m sure the hamsters will go.
Dear Otto,
I think I have a problem. I have missed five consecutive
periods, have thrown up twice already this morning and have
a strange craving for artichoke hearts. Also, my abdomen
seems to be enlarging. Could I possible be pregnant?
My darling Doris,
Does a bear shit in the woods?
Dear Otto,
For some time now my roomate has been receiving putrid
magazines. Although I have paged through all these foul
things and found them very interesting, I feel that my
roommate is only fooling himself. If he thinks I am going to
chip in for some more issues, well, nuts to him. Obviously,
if this degenerate feels like buying a new issue each month,
he can go right ahead and do it. But, I only wish he would
stop harassing me to help pay for the issues. Why doesn’t
the Middle Earth Coffee House have a “swap-a-dirty
magazine” night sometime in the future?
An Ex-dirty magazine reader in the Heights
Dear Ex- dirty magazine reader,
Isn’t that pushing the issue a little too far.
Dear Otto,
I must write this fast because the man sitting next to me
is breathing heavy. Today a car full of guys pulled up to me
and just grinned. Grin, Grin, Grin. You’d think I was tatooed
all over with dirty jokes. Then walking to class about five
people tried to trip me while I carried two hot coffees. Not
only that, but, the Venetians are still pestering me. You know
they have ways of persuading a person to do unnatural
things. To top it all off my roommates keep putting
asper-gum in my chewable feen-a-mint box. Needless to say
I haven’t had a headache in weeks, but now their making me
pay for all the toilet paper. I just don’t know who to turn to
anymore, Why, I just can’t be sure who’s going to try to harm
me. Why, how do I know you’re not with them. Can you give
me some advice. I need it desperately.
Dear Lucretia,
Never trust a naked bus driver
Otto.
This is the first of a regular feature in the C.C. Reader. If you
have any questions you’d like OTTO to answer, or any
problems for him to solve, address all letters to him in
W-129,
SATURDAY, JANUARY 31, 1976
9:00-1:00 A.M.
Middletown Hunter’s & Angler’s Club
ENTERTAINMENT BY
"Hurricane Alley"
Three more mouths to feed
Doris from 3rd and Cumberland
« G ,
\
Too Much
Snow?
It's that time of year
again: snow, ice and (we
hate to ruin your day) the
possibile cancellation of
classes due to bad weather.
To find out if classes are
canceled because of severe
weather conditions, tune in
to the local radio or TV
station. According to
Francine Taylor, public
information officer, these
media are notified of such
action.
Taylor says you can also
call the central campus
“weather day” number,
787-7737 to find out if
classes and other campus
functions are canceled.
Bitch a Bit!
The next time you’re
complaning to a friend about
Capitol, think of Jerry Bray.
Prof. Bray is chairman of
the Student Affairs Commit
tee, and he wants your
complaints, criticisms and
suggestions which would
improve the life of students
at Capitol. Yes, he really
said that.
If you prefer, Bray said
you can get your gripe to
the Committee via its three
student representatives:
Betty Karp, Michael Barnett
and Rick Laychock.
He also said students
should feel free to attend his
committee meetings either
to make a personal presen
tation or just to listen. If
you’re interested in at
tending a meeting, contact
him in W-261 or at Ext. 615.
Other Student Affairs
Committee members are
Professors Sabir Dahir, John
Jones, John Patterson and
Iris Prager. Marion Krieger
from Counseling, Francis
Mols from the Library and
Jerry South from Student
Affairs are also committee
members.
There are a few 1975
Yearbooks still available.
If you are interested in
purchasing one, please
contact the Student Affairs
Office to sign up. They will
be sold on a first come, first
Lucretia
Sponsored by
Chi Gamma lota
Fraternity
C.C.' Reader
Study Effectiveness Training
Is this you?
-You spend hours in the
library but never seem to get
anything done.
—At the end of the term,
you’re just beginning your
work.
-You get that sinking
feeling, “Is it exam week
already?”
—You don’t know how to
study for exams,
-And your grades show it!
The Counseling Center is
offering a mini-course called
Study Effectiveness
Training. The course will
include practical methods to
help you use your study time
more effectively. We will
discuss:
Avoid Those Tickets
When a student, a
member of the staff or a
member of the faculty has a
motor vehicle registered for
use on campus (not with a
Restricted sticker) uses
another car that does not
have an unlimited parking
sticker on it, the individual
may sign the Substitute
Vehicle Book to preclude
receiving a Traffic Violation
Notice for No Permit or
3tjcker
The Substitute Vehicle
Books are located in the
Bafff’i & PmCi
M« Hm*, In.
AS West Harrisburg Pike
UnM nnm Hi* itraat
fra* MePaaaM'i aa Ilia
Hiffcapira Plata
Prices Yen Jest Can't Beat Anywhere
*7” m 8»
2& r s «® -3«
FUNNEL Mae UKIES
SHIRTS 4 95 795
SMOCK TOPS mat
Voar Choice f
HANDMADE ARTS
Everything In Sleek
b On SALE j
Cone Look Us Os»r •’
Mon.-Fri.
10:00 A.M. - 9:00 P.M.
Sat. - 10:00 A.M. • 6:00 P.M.
Mum 944-4750
--organizing your study
schedule
--improving reading con
centration and com
prehension
--preparing for tests ana
papers.
The mini-course will in
clude six weekly meetings
beginning today from 12:15
to 1:30 p.m. in the
Counseling Center. If you
are interested, sign up in the
Counseling Center, Room
Wll7, now.
If you want to improve
your study skills, but cannot
attend at the designated
time, come in and talk to a
counselor in the Counseling
Center.
Business Office, Room 114
Main Building, from 8 a.m.
to 5 p.m. From 5 p.m. to 8
p.m., there is a Substitute
Vehicle Book located in the
Records Office, W-101.
If you sign the book and
still receive a Traffic
Violation Notice, please note
on the back of it that you
signed the book, sign your
name and give the Notice to
a member of the Student
Patrol, drop it in the
Interoffice Mail directed to
the Traffic Violation Office
OPTO
50* OFF
SALE
January 22, 1976