PAGE 4 c A Letter Fr Hello friends, Jimmy here. It’s so nice talking to you again. Your All American world combater of mediocrity and disdainer of public taste has very recently received the following letter from the bid #1 dude himself—God. He asked me to pass it along. So folks, take heed. Here it is. Dear Jimmy Hi pal, it’s been a long time since I was able to talk with you. Christ, my youngest son, knows how busy I’ve been. Lately I haven’t seen him around too much. He’s on some kind of martyr kick... For a 1,975 year old lad, he sure is rambunctious. Who knows what these kids will do next? Joseph and Mary send their regards. They’re still having kids. I don’t know when that family will stop growing. A$ they say, “wonders never cease.” Anyway Jimmy, I’m writing to you because you’re the only one left who will really listen to me. My problem is very simple. I need a vacation. What’s so wrong about that? You humans take vacations and forget about your work, so why can't I take a break? As you well know, my position is always full time. I haven’t been able to go surfing since Moses was around, and that’s one hell of a long time. Jimmy, you can help me by letting my people know that their god is tired. I need some time to be alone. Therefore, after considering all possibilities, I have informed my staff that I am taking an indefinite sabbatical leave. It’s inevitable that I do so, because if I don’t, I’ll break. It’s not easy being an international figure. Up here, in number one position, can be a mighty lonely place. When you humans were just apes, you were much more well behaved. But now in your “advanced state”, you constantly call for and desperately need my assistance. Will you people leave me alone! I invented humans to be able to exist without my help. Now look what you have done to yourselves! What do you think I am, an eternal baby sitter? You place yourselves into impossible situations, then you expect me to come to the rescue. Apparently, you peop\e haven’t read my instructions correctly. Why all this fighting, when there is such a shortage of love? Giant churches are built in my honor while less fortunate people around the world starve? Too much. Those buildings mean nothing to me, you can have them. I’ve had it!!! What really irritates me, Jimmy, are all those flipped out people raving and shouting my name. Those fanatics call themselves “god's servants”? How absurd! Why don’t they talk about somebody else once in awhile? Satan’s not all that bad, so why not give him some hell instead of crying to me all the time. If they want to convert so much, why don’t they convert all those churches into bowling alleys and pool halls? Remember the story tale I made up about the creation? Does the seventh day, the Sabbath, mean anything to you people? It most certainly does to me. He********************************************** "Buycentennial" Drama "American Dream" Capitol Campus presents its first “Buycentennial” contribution-Edward Albee’s play, “The American Dream” plus, as an added attraction, “Stone Soup,” a "children’s” play, by the infamous Strolling Muggers of Capitol Campus. Curtain times for these two historic events are 12:15 and 8 p.m., May 22 in the auditorium. The afternoon perform ance of “Stone Soup” will be performed outdoors in the sunshine at the rear of the academic building. The starting time will be about 2 p.m. This version is for children. The evening performance is the only “X-Rated” children’s play in captivity. In other words, the nighttime performance contains so-called “adult material.” The two performances of “Stone Soup” will follow the “The American Dream.” In the afternoon, the audience will proceed outside, after intermission, for “Stone Soup”. The night perform ance of “Stone Soup” will be in the auditorium. “The American Dream” is a drama concerned with exposing “middle-class” il lusions. This play features Gerard Lavelle as Mommy, Rick Heinback as Daddy, Leah Petrokubi as Grandma, Gary Bloom as Mrs. Barker and Michael Mitchell as the Young Man. Dr. Jere Burger is the director. “The American Dream” is pre sented by the Play Produc tion class, Humanities 330. Stone Soup is an indepen dent study project of Gary B. Macchioni. The Strolling Muggers will present nine performances at area ele mentary schools during May. A performance will also be given at the Harrisburg Arts Festival at the William Penn museum. C.C. READER by Jimmy O ’s the day I rested. So why are all you celibate sublimaters making Sunday'my busiest day of them all? You sure are mixed up. Just try to be everywhere at once on any one particular day. A man could be worn thin by spreading himself out so much. It’s not easy. Then, as if that’s not enough, they insist upon holding services every day of the week. Are they gluttons? I never really liked traveling that much. I hear that my autobiography is still on the best seller list. Well, I appreciate it. In fact, I’m flattered. Of course I haven’t read the book yet, but my evangelist angel says “it’s fantastic”. But then, who can trust the opinion of a fanatic? Not me, that’s for sure. Every time I try to get some sleep, somebody opens that damn book and wakes me up. When I’m entertaining friends, I’m constantly getting interrupted. How am I supposed to get any peace that way? Next time, I’ll just turn up the volume on my stereo. Then no one will be heard. Only God knows, (that’s me), what you people put me through. Starting immediately, if any of you subserviant humans need any assistance, don’t call for me, because I won’t be there. I have delegated two earthly individuals to respond to all your requests. Write to (do not call): Billy Graham c/o God’s Country Tulsa, Oklahoma So my children, “I leave you now in a paroxysm of bitterness,” as Spiro once said. But before I leave, here are my final instuctions. If anyone of you ever needs guidance, don’t look up into the sky with a bible folded in your arms. Look straight ahead, and reach your hands out to the beautiful creatures I put there for you. You’re a heartless sap if you fail to experience the ecstacy of finding those who love you. Please, for your sake and mine, try to love each other just a little more. Open up and allow some special somebody to love you. Give it a chance! That’s the only godly beauty I know. That’s the ecstacy. That’s your purpose. I can only put the writing on the wall. If you look away, what more can I do? Goodbye, I’m leaving. P.S. So what if I had V.D Even God gets horny. Jimmy Olson doesn’t miss a trick Coming next: A Farewell to Capitol "Stone Soup" Gary is a senior drama student, interested in child ren’s theatre. In the Fall, we witnessed “James Cherry.” This Winter, three one-act plays were presented. Now, for your warmth of Spring enjoyment, “The American Dream,” and “Stone Soup” will be just what the sun god ordered. See you there, friends. “Stone Soup” Schedule Wednesday, May 21, 1975 at Hershey Memorial Play ground - 12:30 p.m. Thursday, May 22, 1975 Penn State-Capitol Campus 2 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. Sunday, May 25, 1975 Harrisburg Art Festival -1 p.m. Children’s day - North Plaza of William Penn Museum Tuesday, May 27, 1975 Londonderry Elementary School 1:30 p.m. and 2:30 p.m. Wednesday, May 28, 1975 Conewago Elementary School 1:30 p.m. £2> £s&> Present: Scott Deardorff, Greg Weigle, Jack Henry, Rebecca Rebok, Troy Buster Chet Gregoreski, Bette Karp, Rich Laychock, Todd Mal pass, Jorn Jensen, Paul Mathis. Proxy for Skip Gibson by Jorn Jensen. Absent: Pat Truitt, Dan Martin. Meeting called to order at 8:10 p.m. I. Paul Mathis made the motion to approve the minutes of April 24, Todd Malpass 2nd the motion. The vote on approving the minutes was unanimous. 11. Treasurer’s Report. The tabled motion of April 24 was brought to SGA attention. The Aviation Club is requesting an extra $5O to cover a field trip. The motion was again tabled to the May 15 meeting where an officer of the Aviation Club is requested to be present. The vote was 7-for, 4- against. 111. Report from the Constitution Comm. The existing constitution would have to be revised if grad students took part in the SGA. Rich Laychock made the motion and Troy Buster 2nd the motion that the amendment be approved as read. The amendment must be approved by 10% of the student body. The motion was carried with a vote of 10-for, 1-abstention. The report will now go to the Election Screening Comm. IV. Election Screening Comm, consisting of Rich Laycbock (chairperson). Todd Malpass, Wolfe, Bette Karp, & Diana Harris were presented for approval in a motion by Greg Weigle and 2nd by Todd Malpass. The vote on the Committee for the 75-76 year was 10-for, 1-abstention. V. Penn Pirg Report from (cont. on page five) * * * * * * * Jimmy Olson c/o Daily Planet (or leave message with) (editor of C.C. Reader) Sincerely Yours, ,7 , God f/7 . ryn~. Kj- ... • Gary Bloom, Gere Berger, Mike Mltchel Hein back; Leah Petrakubl; Gerard Lavelle. Strolling Muggers get ready to make Stone Soup. L-R: Gerard Lavelle, Dianne McGarvey, Gary Macchioni (Director), Gary Bloom. MAY 15, 1975 S.G.A. Minutes May 8, 1975
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