Friday, October 17, 2008
Relationship dynamics
By Alyssa Weinstein
stuff writer
abws()s3 (S' psu.edu
My column this week is going to be a
two-parter. I would first like to address
the article written by the anonymous
source (Oct. 3) who claims that girls go
for bad guys and they blow off the good
guys.
First of all, girls don't always go for
bad guys. However it is true that a lot of
girls like to have a little bit of adventure
in their lives, and as ignorant as it may
sound, the truth of the matter is. you are
more likely to go on a racy date with a
“bad boy" than you are with a nice guy.
That is what makes them nice, they like
conversation and they like to listen to
you rather than being spontaneous.
Unfortunately, it doesn't just suck for
the nice guys, it ends up hurling the
girls too. The anonymous writer is cor
rect in wondering why girls will take all
kinds of abuse from guys just because
they are adventurous and attractive. It is
because for the most part girls aren't
looking for a guy to listen to them, we
have girl friends for that. We want to
have fun with our boyfriends.
Truthfully, it gets us in trouble.
The majority of the guys 1 date are the
typical “bad boy." Now is that smart?
No, but I do it anyway. I go for the guys
that have a motorcycle oi a pick-up
truck and listen to punk rock music and
do less than legal things- and it usually
never works out. as predicted. Then 1
complain about how badly I have been
hurt to all of my guy friends and they all
give me the same answer, "stop dating
Who
Bv Rob Frank
contributing writer
rgfl 26(° gmail.com
One of the biggest drivers in American
culture is movies. On average.
Americans spend millions of dollars per
year either going to movie theatres, rent
ing or buying movies, or watching the
Oscars. Take Titanic for example. Since
its release in 1997. it has grossed over
$6OO million. As much as Americans
love movies, they thirst for more. This
desire usually drives two common
responses front the movie industry,
sequels and remakes. In this vein. 1 want
to explore three movies that have had
multiple characters playing the same
role, either through a remake or a sequel,
and I want to give my opinion of who
played the characters the best.
The first of the three is the longest
movie series running. James Bond. Not
only is James Bond the ultimate agent,
but every man that leaves the theatre
There have been movies where the main
character is played by multiple actors.
We need more fall. The leaves are changing colors, the football season is getting interesting, you need a light jacket but it’s not cold
enough that you need your huge winter coat. I think we need less winter and more fall.
Anyone disagree and think we need more snow? I didn’t think so.
A note to all of the guys out there who
think they are being pushed aside lor the
bad guys, we can't always recognize
that they are bad until it is too late. So
thanks for your sympathy, we aren't just
doing it to piss you off. We don't realize
that you like us and deliberately screw
you over for a guy who we already
know is a bad idea- that is not how it
works. Many girls do believe in fairy
tales and true love. We date guvs who
we think will fulfill that dream, some
times they do and sometimes they don't,
it has nothing to do with intentionally
picking destructive men. We just date
guys we arc attracted to. physically or
emotionally.
Let's talk about the "friend zone".
While we arc on this topic (because it
leads into part two of this weeks col
umn). Guys don't purposefully get put
into the friend zone despite popular
belief. When we find guys that we trust,
like being with, and guys wc can talk to.
they become our friends. Why is that a
bad thing? Why do guys always have to
complain about that? Don't you want to
be our friends? Or do you only talk to
girls because you want to date us? I am
really tired of my guy friends telling me
that they hate being in the friend zone.
Plus, if you watch the movie Just
Friends, he not only gets himself out of
the friend zone, he gets to be with the
girl he loves. So guys, lets pick some
thing new to dwell on shall wc? It she
likes you enough to be with you it
shouldn't matter if you arc friends with
her or if you guys met a couple weeks
did it best?
after a Bond Hick wants to be him
There have been many people that
have played the character of James
Bond, but 1 feel that Daniel Craig excels
in the role. 1 know what you're thinking,
“What about Scan Connery'.’''. Connery
is a close second, however Craig is the
full package. Not only is he smooth and
sauve. as Pierce Brosnan was in the role,
he has the badass quality that Connery
had. I know that Craig has had only one
movie under his belt, but the previews
for Quantum of Solace show Craig per
forming consistently with his acting in
Casino Rovale.
Next on our cinematic journey wc take
a stop at Gotham City for the Batman
series. The Batman series has spanned
several main characters and a few differ
ent directors as well. I'm going with
Christian Bale as the ultimate Batman. I
also feel that I'm going to have to defend
my decision in this one. When I think of
Batman I always think of a vigilante
fighting for what he believes in. no mat
Who did a role the best?
James Bond: Daniel Craig
Batman: Christian Bale
Superman: Christopher Reeve
Perspectives
This brings me to my next topic,
should two friends start a relationship
despite the fact that they could ultimate
ly end up losing each other as friends if
things go south? Yes. I don't understand
why everyone is so scared to take a
chance. We are the generation of people
who think they are invincible, or at least
that's what I was told in driver's ed. Our
generation dies in more car accidents
because they don't wear seat belts, they
speed, and they drive recklessly. We
constantly partake in high risk behav
ior. so why not a relationship?
The worst that can happen is you
break up. and if you arc worried about
that you can become friends. I don't
care what anyone says, relationships do
not ruin the friendship; that would be
people that do that. 1 am friends with
every single one of my ex's. It's easy to
be friends with someone as long as you
want to. For example. I hooked up with
a guy and wc still managed to stay
friends and not allow it to become awk
ward. You may have to work at keeping
a friendship, but everyone has to do
that.
Relationships of any kind are hard,
but if you are attracted to someone, their
mind and body, forget about ruining
your friendship with them. You can stay
friends. Using your friendship as a rea
son against exploring a relationship
shows that you expect your relationship
to fail. Anyhow, can you know some
thing will fail unless you try it? Trust
yourself. If two people are meant to be
together it is going to happen whether
you are friends or you happen to have a
serendipitous meeting.
ter the cost. I never really got that feel
ing from Michael Keaton. Bale appears
conflicted, confused and unsure of his
path throughout both movies. He knows
what he “needs" to do. but is constantly
questioned by both himself ami those
around him. I think this is exactly how
Batman should be portrayed, which is
why 1 choose Bale. Let's not forget that
Bale is also cast as the new John Connor
in one mv mv all lime favorite movie
series Terminator
My final movie series pick is from
Superman. Although Brandon Routh
played a good role in Superman Returns,
by far Christopher Reev e played the best
Superman. Not only did he look the part,
he played it exactly as anyone would
have envisioned Clark Kent. I'm proba
bly partial to this choice because I grew
up with Superman as my favorite hero,
and w ith Christopher Reeve playing him.
Not to mention the fact that Christopher
Reeve was a hero both is real life and in
the movies.
In my opinion:
Have an opinion? e-mail jdjso6l ©psu.edu
The friend zone
By Nathan Carter
staff writer
nrcs()69(s' psu.edu
As a guy. I’d like to sit you all down
for a chat and formally address the
"friend zone” that girls so often throw
us into. Is this good or had? Most guys
think it’s the worst thing you can do to
one of us, and I think that in most cases
I would agree with that. However - and
1 can already hear the boos and heckles
from the guys reading this - there are
definitely girls in my life that I think
being in that "friend zone” is on the
borderline of best. Consequently this
"borderline best” is equal to "border
line worst".
People who are fans of one night
stands and hook-ups aren't going to
understand any of this, but for the peo
ple who try to find something more
meaningful in everything they come
across, this will make prefect sense to
you. Listen, I love listening to people
tell their stories or express their feel
ings because in the majority of my
years I haven't been able to truly put a
grasp on my opinions. Now. that I’m in
college I am more aware of the opin
ions and styles that set me apart from
others. In my high school - and proba
bly most high schools across the coun
try - there were four distinct groups:
the preppy crowd, the rednecks, the
gangster-wannabes, and then there was
us. My group of friends and I loved the
outside of the loop. I suppose it was
some sort of subconscious need to
laugh hysterically at what other people
viewed as important.
Even looking back on that now. I see
that we were just another class in our
selves. We weren't original or different
or any other adjective we all try so hard
to achieve. We were "the bridge": the
bridge between all of those other
groups, because we didn't maintain that
polar extremity it took to be in those
groups. We had it all. We had nothing
more and nothing less than it all. and
they were some of the best years of my
life. The difference between us and
them was that we didn't care about how
we looked in the morning or what
Eb Blues, on the rocks
By Connor Sattely
managing editor
ciss()6o(s' psu.edu
How can I explain to someone why I
don't drink?
I think the first word out of my mouth
explains it all to me, and to those who
share my passion: music. A few days
ago, around midnight. I let all the prob
lems that I'm going through stack up on
me. I spiraled out of control and. luckily,
was talking to a friend who kicked my
ass back into the realm of sanity. But
how's this for unpredictable: I left my
computer, got in my car. and drove to
campus and jammed, by myself in the
empty Reed Union Building, for a full
hour.
I left feeling drunk, exhausted, elated,
satisfied. Why am I okay with not having
sex before marriage? Why am 1 okay
with not drinking, or trying drugs, or
smoking? Beeause to me. the best relief
is musical. Pouring your soul on a three
and a half minute recording of Jamey
Ahersold playing Bb blues. Finding that
note that you can lip up to and growl and
hold it until you are about to cry beeause
it portrays your feelings better than
words ever could.
When I'm improvising, the world
fades away. Sometimes, 1 get caught up
in the notes that I am playing, and might
go through ten or twenty minutes of
“practicing" until I find a couple new
licks. Then, satisfied with my progress
having been made, 1 let go. Entirely. I
fall down into the bottomless void, eyes
The Behrend Beacon I 5
music we had to listen to to be popular
or any other form of high-school drama
that you can think of. Relationships,
appearance. "A" plusses. sports, etc.
All that stuff just sort of came to us as
we laughed and had a good time. We
found out more about ourselves in one
seemingly eventless weekend, than any
of the “Kens" and "Barbies" knew
about each other.
That was a little off topic but neces
sary in bringing me back to my original
point. In college., those "classes" in
high school merge together in a way
and stereotypes turn to grey areas.
Opening your ears to voices is the only
true happiness that I can think of.
Expressing an opinion and listening to
an opinion, as well, is what makes my
day great. Now. imagine if your opinion
was returned and you found similarity
in an opinion proposed to you. Isn't that
the greatest feeling ever. 1 Meeting
someone who feels the same about
things that you do and completely
understands you is unexplainable in
words. Even further, imagine that that
person is a girl - or a guy for all the
girls reading this and every moment
spent with them was awesome, even
when one of you was mad or depressed.
Then, watch that person in a relation
ship with someone else. It's close to the
worst feeling I can imagine. You imme
diately know that this guy - or girl -
doesn't know her - or him - like you
do, and the gate opens and you're thrust
skull first into the "friend zone". The
gate locks behind you. and there's noth
ing left to do but bang your head
through the days. I know that a certain
amount of confidence and a w ill to fight
for her is supposed to be what I'm feel
ing. but 1 think that that encompasses
selfishness at its worst. After all this
time, if she wanted it to move to a rela
tionship it would've happened by now.
and I'm not willing to intrude because it
could ultimately turn our friendship to
dust before my eyes. Someone once
told me that things aren't complicated
until people make them that way. Well,
true love stands outside the box of that
statement in its own sort of cosmithe
friend /one
shut, gasping for breath between thirty
second long licks that are like ice water
splashed on my face at 4 in the morning.
The lights may all be on in the room, but
to me, the darkness envelops me as the
entire world becomes a nasty distraction
to my inner bliss. Later, my eyes might
be red or sore because I shut them so
tightly, clinging like a child to his moth
er to the peace 1 accomplish while I lose
myself to the music.
Looks are not important while this
happens. I bend my knees any way I can:
lean forward, then back: drop to the
floor; rotate my saxophone while bend
ing a note. I do whatever feels right, and
only because it feels right. Did a janitor
come in to see who was playing, or was
the door just slightly more ajar due to the
drafts inside the empty halls of the build
ing? It doesn't matter. I could have been
playing in Hein/ Hall and 1 wouldn't
have known anyone was there. I would
n't have known I was there. It sounds
cliche, but the saxophone becomes a part
of me, a second tongue that 1 use to
speak a language which only those like
me understand. My lungs are the first
part of the saxophone, my throat the sec
ond. then my lips and tongue lead into
the mouthpiece, the third part, past the
keys, the fourth, and out of the bell, the
fifth. I am one moving, synchronized
instrument of pain, pleasure, sacrifice,
and glory for my own three minutes of
darkness.
That's my drink
So. cheers.