'riday, Febuary 22, 2008 Don’t Forget to Validate Your Parking Mike i e So I stammered and was about to tell her it's really difficult to -- but then she interjects with, "You want more money, right?!! l " I paused, pondering the profundity of her simplicity and thought, yeah, that's really what it party and not once, but TWICE, tn the middle of lap-donees, the strippers would ask me about the writer's strike. I'm all for solidarity and all. but strike Talk during a grind is not conducive to the erection process, you know’ augh Out Loud Cats #B5 Adam “Apelad” explain 'V, Have you ever seen a \ homeless Asian’ J Dad always thiuisdil laiiL’hler was the be IVIVCO •st medicine, which I guess i I Disclaimer: All articles are for entertainment purposes only. s win m 1 \■ i; 1 1 i,i iin ,|jal ( i| luhcivulosis."- Jack Handev got Humor send to jdksoo9@psu.edu Jeremy Korwek Parl-Tinu Astrologer ARIES Adventurous day. Do you feel like hav ing an adventure'.’ Today your scarf will get caught in the bus door and the driver won't notice until 12th and Peach. TAURUS Different strokes for different folks. Don't try to paint that fake Monet this week, the FBI has been watching lately and they're getting ready to make a move. So toss those art supplies and books and head to Peru. GEMINI Koford Shiny happy person. You might want to see Doctor X about that metallic rash. Those spray tan booths are only meant to be used once a week. CANCER Take time for both. Your real girlfriend and your cyber-girl friend are feeling left out. You might want to double check the gender of your cyber-girlfriend, all signs indicate that she is not a she. LEO People power. A company in Texas will buy your idea for a giant human pow ered hamster wheel generator. Congratulations, you’ll soon be a multi millionaire and will end the energy cri sis. VIRGO Out in front. Time to tell your parents that your girlfriend is a Real Doll. Weekly Horoscopes The Behrend Beacon I LIBRA Make up your mind. The indecision is killing me, Obama or Clinton? Paul or McCain? Manual or Automatic? Almond Joy or Mounds? SCORPIO Can you avoid money? Probably not see ing as how you’re going to rear end a bank truck on the highway. SAGITTARIUS Relationship elevator going up. Not for you, well not this week at least, your sig nificant other is spending more time with their engineering books than you. CAPRICORN Better, shape. The answer to your prob lem lies in the truncated dodecahedron. Try it with Pu-239 but watch out for those pesky bums. AQUARIUS The language of love. After last week’s utter disaster, that “dating for dummies” book will arrive tomorrow. Soon the rab bits will visit and you’ll need all the help you can get. PISCES Back to the simple things. With the spy satellite destroyed, we are at our most vulnerable, gather your things and head for the hills.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers