6 I The Behrend Beacon Myspace mishap (oft('` , it 3 /'!,: '11,i011(' By Ben Raymond humor page editor Here are some myspace codes . It you are incredibly hored or are into , learning html have fun w ith this. I won't tell you what they are or what they do hut you'll einoy it. MI NM MN MI <BUNNYHERO PET START I> <div style ,- width: 250p‘: padding: 0: margin: 0; text-align• center-> <embed src="http://peiswt.bun nyhaulahs.com/adopt/swilduck- v v idth="2so - height=" 30O" (pal ity=Thigh- bgeolor= - f {ITC plug inspage=-Mtp://ww .mactome dia.com/go/gettlashplayer- flash- 'cn=fred&an=the92Ohumo rq 20page&clr=0‘392411 - application/x-shockwave- What's new in the stall By Mike Sharkey photo editor People like to talk about equal rights for men and women of all races and genders, but one of the most obvious examples of racism is still right in front of our eyes. Every day, I see this, but today I realized just how politically incorrect these signs really are. We've had our minds conditioned not to notice this, so we don't ques tion it. The next time you walk past a bathroom, take a good hard look at the signs they put up to indicate which one you are supposed to use, and you'll see where I'm coming from Not consider- ing the racial and gender problems with these signs (which I will get to in , a moment), notice the dis- turbing nature of icons them selves. Both the man and the women have had their heads severed from their bodies, and rigor mortis has set in full force, for their joints are absolutely stiff and straight. Notice also how the handicap person gets to keep his head. I'm sensing discrimination! The clothing issue is also notable. Either they're both naked (which would be really disturbing in terms of anatomy) or they're wearing some sort of futuristic, geometric-styled clothing from the Jetsons. Come to think of it, women don't wear dresses anymore anyway. This icon we all recog nize as "female" is clearly out dated, since I haven't seen a single woman on campus all week that was wearing a dress. Furthermore, I find the lack of shoes, or more precisely, the lack of feet rather disturbing. clash > </cinhcd><hr '> <small - ><a htth://hunny hcrolahs.rom/adopt/">adoht your mual petk/a></small> Gidl k -, <BUNNYHERO PET END I> <1 Main aloe="http://ww \k. 123111\ codes. com/myspaceprank/bush.sv , 1-">< value="high"><cmhed 1 - I,:="http://kv w. I 23mycodes.co m/myspaceprank/bush.swf" qualitv="high" pluginspage="http://wwW.macro media.com/go/get flashplayer" ty pe="application/k-shockwave flash" width="sso" height="4oo"></einbeci><hr><h Mike Sharkey/ THE B Notice the irony of ho‘A the handicap person gets to keep his feet. sensing segrega- Looking at these representa tions closer, notice still how they are all white. Why don't they haN e black icons? Red icons? Yellow Icons? Rainbow colored icons? Martin Luther King Jr. thought he fixed the whole "separate by not equal" bathroom issue, but vou can clearly see that the Palace of Porcelain is white man's territo ry. I'm sensing racism! The "invention - of a unisex bathroom fixes one of the prob- Do they really think they can get away with combining all persons in wheelchairs into one gen der group? and the woman with the overly starched skirt are alright. but what about the poor person in the wheelchair? Is he/she now genderless? Why didn't they create a woman in a wheel chair with a skirt like they did with those other two icons? Do they really think they can get away with combining all persons in wheelchairs into one gender group? I'm sensing sexism! These relics of the past need major revisions if we hope to grow as a population. We need to open our eyes to these things in our daily lives that stare us in the face as we walk blindly by. Change will only come to us if we do it. We need to change these icons for the good of mankind... no, for Humankind! I'm sensing a law suit! name= quality flamer- - lems. hut it doesn't get to the root cause. By creating a unisex bathroom, only the sexism problem is partial ly solved, for any gender is now allowed to use it. With the invention of this new and improved fiber bath, the icons clearly now need to be updated. The Mall with no pants, HUMOR It Bob Marley were here it would he a party Top five of the week... By Jerry Pohl assistant humor editor ~ ~-- 5. Pizza: How often to you get a chance to eat piz in college? Almost never. Free piz every Thursday. ilogibil Tired of walking up the hill to nap in yoi bed? Nap on the Beacon office's bh couch, often whilst people are "cuddlin, on it 3. Macs: Sick of knowing how your computt works? With Beacon Mac computers The beacon staff hard at work, every simple task is like a game of chess you don't have time for. 2. $: You technically get paid, in the same way that ping pong is technically tennis. Ok this is the only real reason to work at the Beacon So many people, so little intelligence Hey boys and girls, gather round. It's story time. I took a break last week just to gather my thoughts up so I could offer ‘ou a nice palette of things to enjoy this week. First up on this week's list of stupid crap. Thursday, there was a banner hanging outside Bruno's for people to sign to show Penn State support for Virginia Tech. I was out there asking people to stop and sign their name. You wouldn't believe how many people would just walk by me looking at me like I had just ask them to scale Mount Olympus and kiss President Bush when they got to the top. I figure it either had to he that these people were really scared that someone they didn't know asked them a direct question or that they had gone their whole school careers with out ever writing their name betbre, and the fear of actually having to do so was incredible. People who exaggerate how much they actually drank over the eekend. This happens a lot if you listen to conversations of under- A moment of clarity No one has expressed interest in taking over the humor page. Who could blame you? I DO! Get credits and money to make things up every week. cslsoos@psu.edu Whether there is weather Students and faculty on the Penn State Behrend campus and citi zens across the region were alarmed Thursday to note the sudden appearance of a bright object hovering in the sky, moving slowly from east to west as the day went on. Additional eyewitnesses also reported an uncommon bluish tint to the sky, a drastic departure from the aesthetically pleasing light or dark gray that usually fills the air above Erie. Improved temperatures and lighting conditions accom panied the sightings. Scientists. climatologists and TV weather men investigating the phenomenon advised that the unusual appearance of the "sun," as they called it, occurs almost regularly in other parts of the country and around the world. This sun is actually named Sol, and is the star at the center of our solar system, several mil lion miles away. I'm pretty sure that this is the reason that all the drivers in down town Erie were horrible on Thursday. The distraction of our long-lost cousin the sun proved an insurmountable obstacle for our upstanding Erie urbanites. On my way to Books Galore, I had the misfortune to directly experience several instances of temporary insanity. The first event was one that I've become intimately familiar with on my daily drives down to work every day. Someone will stop at a green light for no reason whatsoever, or fail to accelerate after the By Liz Cybulski staff writer By Pat Webster managing editor To my knowledge, Optimus Prime and the Avengers have never appeared together in a comic book. aged Im‘er classmen. (The truth hurts.) Listen kids. no, you can't slam down 12 beers and a filth of some bottom shelf liquor all at one party outing and still he walking around. And if you're sitting there reading this and saying "yes I can.'' you're a tool to all us upper Class "ot age" students Rounding out third base. let's talk about the asshats who think it's funny to rip down publicity signs in the stairwells in Reed. No. It's not funny, nor does it make you a had ass. First. real had asses a) come up with better ideas than ripping paper off walls, and b) do their had ass idea when there is a slight chance of getting caught. Not in a stairwell (where there isn't a chance in hell of getting caught. Secondly, it's one of those things that make the rest of us believe you're an immature fool. But hey...like I've said before, if you enjoy that title at least you're giving me something to write about. And for erande finale, the best headline of the week. "Porn Shop becomes Family Ser . \ ice Center. - Ohhhhhhhh really? Is that legal in all fifty states? light changes from red to green, and will do so after it changes yet again to yellow, leaving me to wait for the next one. This annoys me almost as much as waiting at stop lights that change to allow invisible beings to cross while I wait. This only happens when I'm running late. The other drivers I ran into on Thursday include The Old Lady Who Makes Her Dog Wear Hats and Goes 15 MPH, The Old Man Who Leaves His Turn Signal On for Four Miles, The Upper-Class WASP Teenager Who Plays Loud Rap Music in His Dad's Car, and The Impatient Businessman Who Speeds and Constantly Changes Lanes But Doesn't Seem to Get There Faster Than We Do. Together, they formed a nearly unbeatable team of living obstacles that nearly hampered me from finding out what Optimus Prime and the Avengers were up to this week. Separately, I mean. To my knowledge Optimus Prime and the Avengers have never appeared together in a comic book. I'm sure this is for safety purposes only; the combined awesomenity would likely have caused aneurisms in the brains of the young or infirm. I mean, the G.I. Joe and Transformers crossovers are risky enough as it is. This brings me to the final point of my article. The new Transformers movie is going to be released in a bare few months. I was horrified to first learn that Michael Bay was directing, and further shocked when I saw his new character models looked nothing at all like classic Transformers. If this movie sucks, Mr. Bay, all the bad drivers in the world won't be able to save you from the hordes of dis traught Transformers fans rolling out for your blood. Friday, April 20, 2007 Ben Raymond/ THE BEHREND BEA
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