I The Behrend Beacon UUF6«I I_’N\&ow6 To Sir Hfefife Anp MeoiTWt UuT\u r HA\lfc ft k UPt-s«emt&iP6 EPiPhamS}^/ Random rants and ramblings By Liz Cybulski contribulimi writer Random and ridiculous things annoy me. I thought I’d share them along with some other ran dom thoughts I’ve had this past week. Penn State students who wear Michigan, Pitt, or Ohio State apparel on a Penn State campus. Is Benedict Arnold your personal hero or some thing? Big Ten Referees-, they deserve to get that spinach E.Coli that's going around. Girls who let their OBVIOUSLY darker roots grow out to kingdom come: dye your roots to match the rest, or dye your hair to match your roots, but either way. fix it. You are paying Penn State tuition, you can afford a two dollar box of Revlon hair dye to fix your hair. Eyebrows are like shoes, two are better than one. Ladies, they are supposed to be there, so don’t shave them off and go to town with a fine tipped sharpie. To people who live in an apartment where there is another apartment below you: unless you are jumping up and down to "Zombie Nation” while watching a Penn State football game, stop the high stepping, Adolf. I'd like for my ceiling light to stay a ceiling light. When people drop their tray full of food at either Dobbins or Bruno’s, doesn’t that little part of you where a high-schooler remains inside just want to go "Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” really loud, sometimes, just to see if someone else would kick in too? People who don't throw away their trash at Bruno’s: You do realize you walk pass 4 trash cans at EVERY exit in Brunos. Apparently, scor Top five of t By Brad Kovalcik Mali writer Being a resident of the University Gate apartments. I have run into some troubles while crossing the street to get to campus. Myself and others like me have had to suffer different indig nities just trying to get to and from class. This is all in the sake of not becoming road pizza. It’s time that you all knew what we had to go through. That’s why I have come up with the... About Havii Itreet From Iross The Iniversitv Gate Ai When you're standing at the comer and waiting for the walk signal with six other people around you, but no one says a word. The disgusted faces the people in the cars make at you as you walk in front of them. Rain. Seeing people that you know drive happily by while you’re forced to use your feet. When people walk up behind you and ask a question and you turn and answer, but they’re actually on their cell phone. l^Oc ing high enough on the SATs to get into Penn State was the easy part. Figuring out what to do with your used subwrap paper and empty pop cup is a whole different ballgame. The more 1 listen to the songs “Sexy Back” and “London Bridge,” the more 1 hate myself for lik ing them a bit more each time. 1 don’t even know what Fergie means when she says her “London bridge wanna go down.” Illinois is not pronounced llli-noise. That’s a silent 's' there, my friends. Lloyd Carr and Jim Tressel (The Ohio State and Michigan football coaches, respecitvely) in gener al make me angry. Carr looks like John Kerry impersonating a basset hound and Tressel is just well...words that aren’t fit to print. Canadian bacon isn’t bacon, it is ham. Only Canada would try to make ham fancy by giving it a different name. Some Molson bottles don’t have the twin labels. Molson should put these on every beer they make, for all of eternity. Disney’s inability to let a movie end at just one movie. They have to go off and create an infinite amount of sequels to every one, like: The Lion King 1 and 1/2, The Little Mermaid 2 and The Land Before Time 287. People who fall asleep in class? Okay, they don’t really annoy me, but 1 sit there with bated breath watching you, hoping above all hopes, that you’ll have one of those sleep spasms that make you look like an epileptic caught in a strobe light. People who think high school was the greatest time of their life. Yeah; the fact that I still lived with my parents, couldn’t go to a bar, and had to sit next to the same fools since the age of 5-Like ohmigawd. LOVED IT. e week... rmyio: ©too 6 OMlGOD! IW6.O'TAT(oi>J IS A WAS^t s. op Ti/we \. CONTRIBUTED PHOTO Here's to you, Mr. Emo Kid By Ben Raymond humor editor In honor of one of my favorite series of commer cials. 1 have decided to follow up on the Real Men of Genius series. Except this one would have never made it. because the subject would, well never qualify. Today we salute you Mr. Emo Kid. You with your hair so sharp it could cut itself. You dare to be different. You dab on some eye liner and smear it proudly. Don't worry, it really does make you look extra sensitive. You can always cover them up with your non-prescription black-rimmed glasses. They'll help you when you are deep in reading Catcher In the Rye. But as an Emo Kid, you're ok with crying in public. And why not? You, with your bandanna tucked neatly in the back pocket of your way-too So you think you're funny? Or do you just have a problem that you'd like to complain about. Well, prove it. I'm tired of put ting my own stuff on the page, and know you're tired of reading it Show me up and make me laugh. I dare you. So write something funny and email it to: A history of the Behrend Press By Jerry Pohl calendar page editor For years the archives of the Behrend Student Press slowly faded in a back room of the John M. Lilley library. Now the archives are digitized and the complete history is available to students. The paper and former yearbook was founded in 1948 as The Nittany Cub, and was presumably printed on manual printing presses. Back then, layout night involved taking individual letters out of a box and placing them in a precise order on the press. The copy editors had to read backwards to proofread. They’d ink up the letters, attach the papyrus, and pull the handle, pressing the parchment to the let ters. Photos in the paper had to be individually carved into plaster molds, and then those molds were used to create lead blocks that would be inked and pressed with the articles. Back then, the paper competed with the campus crier; the weekly herald of news through oration. This stalwart rogue wore a tri-comer hat and rang a bell as he walked the paths of the campus shouting the news to all who were interested or to those try ing to study because they had a test the next day and just wanted five minutes of silence. He was one of the Behrend Players, though his position was elim inated when they changed their name to the Matchbox Players in 1989. The paper began its long run as The Behrend Collegian in 1971. The name was changed due to a perceived negative image associated with The Cub, and changing the name was much simpler than making actual substantive improvements. It was during these years that the paper covered its most newsworthy stories; the numerous moon landings that no one watched, a spry young A 1 Gore invent ing the Internet, and the never-ending on-campus construction. From 1971 to 1998, The Behrend Collegian has lengthened its name to The Penn State Behrend Collegian, shortened it to The Headlines from around the world By Ben Raymond humor editor Mr. T is reviving his career with a new reality show on TVLAND called I Pity The Fool. Critics are applauding the show because they never knew his career started. Terrell Owens is returning to Philadelphia for the Cowboys-Eagles game this weekend. To help reduce tension in the situation, Donovan Mcnabb’s mother will have a bowl of Campbell’s Chunky Soup waiting for him. Mongolian legislators are debating whether or not to permit the sale of Ghenghis Khan brand Vodka. The label features a likeness of the con querer. The back features a contract to surrender your land and your liver. Nokia unveiled a smaller and more efficient short range version of its Bluetooth technology. Thus making it easier for people to ignore others in public and be more obnoxious. The third season of the hit television series LOST began on Wednesday of this week. This year, the plot thickens when the remaining mem bers of Gilligan's Island show up. In California, a babysitter picked up the wrong child from school. It was die babysitters first day and she said she didn’t know what the child z> Lb BjlE [fi http://HerbertFilby.ci tight pants. Yeah, the ones you had to buy on the other side of the store. You choose to avoid the sun. taking care to keep that pale glow about yourself, so that when you’re standing at a show, the stage lights pass right through you. You are a true individual. No one else can copy your style. Maybe you paint three fingernails instead of all of them. No, Mr. Emo Kid, you color outside of the lines. Maybe that fake lip ring that you made out of a stripped twist tie will make you look tougher. Don't forget to put on your favorite shirt of a band you’ve never heard that you got at Hot Topic that your mom gave you money for when she dropped you off at the mall in the minivan. Today we salute you Mr. Emo Kid, and remem ber that happiness is just down the road, but never across the street. The Life of a Comic, as told by Herbert Filby Collegian, and re-lengthened it to The Behrend College Collegian just to mess with people. The Collegian developed a reputation as "the newspaper at Behrend." a reputation that would only be sur passed by The Behrend Beacon, which earned a rep utation as “that newspaper at Behrend." The name was changed to The Beacon in 1998 because there was no news to write about, and a name change article is great filler. During its eight year run, The Beacon would begin printing in color, would spend a semester sharing the stage with the Behrend Underground Dispatch Post Observer Times or BUDPOT, and would upgrade its software from Page Maker to Quark. There would be two eras of “The Humor Page" during The Beacon's, eight years. The first, from spring 2002 to February 2003;,was controversial and often considered offen sive, and was ultimately canceled. The second start ed in spring 2005. It was even more offensive, but so consistently poorly written, that no one would ever read it. You’re not even reading it right now. The paper’s name will undoubtedly be changed again. The new name will usher in a bold new era of business as usual. As has been the case since 1948, articles will be late, if written at all, the paper will be read rarely, if at all. and the small group of mis fits and outcasts that publish the paper will find sol ace in pizza, cold, stale pizza. What does the future hold for the Behrend Student Press? The throwing of chicken bones onto a pentagram indicates that in 2011 the name will be changed to Hey! Free Paper with the subhead 50% more pictures. This will last until 2014 when print media dies completely. The name will then be changed to The Roboßehrend Spaceßlog that will be a weekly podcast of video clips. In 2019 there will be a mid 00s fad, and the printing will resume for a few months under the title The Olden Tymes, to capitalize on the trend. The paper will finally end in 2023, when the campus closes due to witch trial related arson. looked like. The babysitter was Courtney Love. A woman in Georgia spoke to her child’s school board this week, in an attempt to ban the popular Harry Potter book series. She claims that it encourages the study of witchcraft. The school board responded by turning her into a duck. Audioslave guitarist Tom Morello was arrested while participating in a protest for hotel worker rights in California. Someone’s getting two mints put on their pillow next time. Fox News and South Park berth recently turned 10. Viewers still can’t decide which one, is more credible. eighties rocker Eddie Money performed at Erie’s own Cellblock nightclub on Thursday. His next stop on the tour... a retirement home. This week, Shanna Moakler, who is Travis Barker’s ex-wife, punched Paris Hilton in the jaw at a Hollywood party. Witnesses said Hilton prob ably had it coming to her. The Dow lones closed die day on Wednesday at a record high. So did half of Ohio Hall. Congressman Mark Foley resigned freon Ins position this Week, stemming from charges of sex ually soliciting a 15-year-old male page. (I thought it would be in bad taste to put this piece on my the page, but then again that’s what Foley did.) Friday, October 6, 2006 /Tveget to otT of piec el Mike Sharkey May 6, 2006
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers