FRIDAY, OCTOBER 6, 2000 Remember the days? Ah, remember the simple life'? The time before the pressure of homework, dead lines, internships, and job hunting? The time in your life when Barbie, G.I. Joe, Wonder Woman, and HeMan provided you with hours of endless fun'? The time when you could make believe that the blanket and two chairs you set up in the living room was really a tent? The time when you swore that monsters lived under your bed? The time when no one had to tell you to be creative and use your imagination? Well, I've come to the conclusion that somewhere between second and fourth grade, that thing known as your imagina tion starts to diminish little by little. I think it begins when you find out the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus (and all the elves and reindeer) aren't real. I mean, who knew? Maybe it was your menacing older brother or snotty sister who broke the had news to you. For some of you, it could have been a big- mouthed fellow classmate. Still, for others, it could have been the slip up of not too slick parents, that fateful Christ mas when you eagerly tore open the gifts from Santa, only to realize these were the same ones you found last week in that K- Mart bag while snooping in your parent's closests. While maybe some of you just figured it out on your own, no small feat I must add. After this fatal dose of truth, I think a lot of us felt foolish. Flow dare our parents, other family members, and teachers, make us believe that an oversized rabbit hopped from house to house just to bring us our favorite goodies. We recall in our minds all the times we were nice instead of naughty just because morn and dad said Santa was making a list and checking it So, then what did we do? Well, we decided that we were too cool for make believe. We began making fun of our little brothers and sisters for being babies and watching Sesame Street and for playing house. We threw the My Little Ponies and the Transformers into the back of our closets, never to be played with again. Our interests grew in other areas. Suddenly boys weren't so gross, and girls weren't so cootie-infested anymore. We became wiser in the ways of the world through our peers and television. Our workload in school got heavier as we progressed from grade to grade and balanced our time between sports, school plays, or band practice. Work schedules, driving tests, homecomings, and SATs engulfed our lives as we matured year by year. Before we knew it, we were ac- cepted into college and a whole new chapter of life unfolded. And so here we are, finding it becoming impossible to imagine life without the pressure of deadlines, finals, and moun tains of homework. Where did we go wrong? Well, we grew up. So, what's my point in all this? Well, just to acknowledge the fact that a lot has changed since the days of playing with Play-Doh and Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head. We are adults now, responsible for our own well being. No amount of imagina tion is going to save us from passing a test we didn't study for. As children, we once believed so strongly in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, now as adults we must believe in someone much more important, National Comments Selecting a spouse made easy by Jillian Weise FSView - Florida State University Another Saturday night crawls by with out a Prince or Princess Charming in sight. But before screaming in desperation from a sea of loneliness, consider your op tions. Hundreds of photographs of beauti ful men and women who are eager to get Point? Zuck Send a letter to the Editor! behrcoll2@aol.com Nothing to do and nothing to watch Now the Olympic Games are over, and Eddie, unfortunately, won the Big Brother challenge. The presidential candidates are running out of states to visit and empty promises to break; and the only "scary movie" sequel (Urban Legends, Final Cut), that I thought would be worth seeing, bombed at the box office. And Penn State Football is well...anyway...what the heck is a Behrend Beacon Columnist who loves the entertainment world supposed to write about? Oh sure, if it was about three months ago, I could have relied on the prime of the summer movie season for my article idea. Eight weeks ago, I could have written about back to school fads and fashion. I believe that six weeks ago, the eleven-cent penny, was the buzz that everyone was talking about. But as for the present week, it's just the same ol' same or (for me anyway). This writer's block creates a huge problem for me. Not that on any given day problems aren't scarce around this campus. I mean, come on, even I can figure out a solution for the Forgetting the Golden Rule I will begin my editorial with an incident that recently happened to me. Last week, after a long day of classes, I decided to carry a case of bottled water (which was in my car) up to my room in Ohio Hall. After carrying the water a great distance, I became tired, and decided to skip the stairs and enter the elevator. After lots of strain ing, I finally pushed the fourth floor button As I felt the elevator come to a halt, I prepared to lug the water to my room. But before I even had a chance to step outside of the elevator, a group of people hurried their way towards me and into the elevator, nearly knocking my case of water out of my grasp. I stood there, shocked and violated, wondering how anyone could be so cruel! Okay, I'll cut the crap, I was pissed off. I flashed them all a dirty look as I exited the elevator, however, I took great pride in knowing that my bottled water had safely survived the perilous trip. Later that day, as I drank my delicious bottled water, I thought back to the ill serious with the right (American) person are posted on the Web. One Web site boasts: "Siberia never looked so hot!" No wonder there are so many students who have not yet fallen in love. Apparently, their partners for life are hiding out in the Ukraine! Why continue meeting people at clubs and bars? You, too, could drop the tra ditional introduction-conversation method Tell us whatyou think! Send all letters to: EDIt , Irßy\ parking problem. It's called GET AN ALARM WITHOUT A SNOOZE BUTTON. Like they told you back in driver's education class, "If you leave ter minutes late, you will get there ten minutes late, at least... Guaranteed!" So anyway, I still need an article idea. I could write about how Fox's first male beauty pageant made "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire" look like child's play. Or how Monday, October 2nd, starts the new fall TV season. Ok, now we're getting somewhere. I think that we've all had more than enough reruns of Christmas 1999 episodes, so it's Oh, You 'O,OO Didn't Know? Karl Benacci nered people that nearly knocked me over. Why had they hurried into the elevator like that? Weren't they aware that it's common courtesy to wait outside an elevator until everyone trying to exit has done so? Besides, if their time is so important, then why were they standing there waiting for an elevator? After all, the stairs are quicker! Hmm...maybe they didn't know. But as I continued to examine the incident, I came to the painful realization that acts of rudeness are fairly common here at Behrend. A and just hook up with a gorgeous Grecian like Andreas. "Are you someone who'll stay in bed with me on a Sunday morning? And make love with me all day?" Andreas asks online. "Steal away with me to the Greek islands. We'll traipse around in my car let ting Pink Floyd play." Who needs personal contact after read ing an excerpt like that? There's no use in wasting time on Mr. Wrong when Mr. Right is waiting hopelessly in Greece or in Sibe ria. Don't get jealous guys. There are amaz ing foreign females longing for your atten tion also. "If you are a good man seeking a beautiful, sincere wife, then we are the The Hot Debate of The Week' Do people actually find something wrong with watching some guy get shot in the eyes by pepper spray...voluntarily? No way! If some moron, and I do think that he is a moron, wants to demonstrate the effects of pepper spray, a stun gun, and a tazer on himself, then let him. This is obviously social DVoi4txt Et; ittbeoLThey will be weeded**Rally, But of than in*ity it takes to do theitimts that this guys, or lack of intelligence if you will, it takes balls. One of the stunts that they perform on the show involves pushing people in a shopping buggy and running them into curbs so they fly out of the buggy into Jagger bushes. That takes balls, and, yes, I do think that it is funny. And on top of being funny, I think that these guys are enterprising. How many of us have a show on MTV? Not me. Sure, they are on television and tons of pre-pubescent boys will see it and probably want to go out and do the stunts that they do. But, I'll let you in on a little secret. Remember how teachers used to say, "if you have a question, ask it, because most likely someone else is thinking it?" The same goes for these guys. There are already morons out there doing it! One of them is named Tom Green, and everyone has to admit that they have at least one crazy friend like this, don't lie, you know you do! So leave the idiots alone, and sooner or later, they will be cancelled Every week, two editors from the staff will debate a topic that is hot. Stu dents, faculty and staff are encouraged to email suggestions for the hot • topic. Send ideas to behrcoll2@aol.com t Cha t time to move on with the Fall 2000 TV Change lineup. NBC is bringing back the classics istine Kleck with ER (don't you remember watching the series premier in like grade school), 3rd Rock (can you believe that that kid used to have long hair!), and Friends (isn't if funny how the smaller the girls get, the bigger the guys get.) NBC's newborns include Deadline (I guess I'm a little partial to the whole Newspaper thing), Ed (the classic guy next door story), and Tacker (get ready America.... Peg Bundy's back.) As for ABC...well here goes. Who Wants to be a Millionaire makes it back for another season (I guess they are determined to find all of the John Carpenters in the world), Dharma and Greg will find itself back in the Tuesday evening lineup (I wonder what her trend-setting hair style will be like this season), and finally who could forget The Drew Carey Show (are those wedding bells I hear...?!?) A newcomer this fall on ABC is The Trouble with Normal (we'll all have to number of rude images loaded my mind. For instance, once I was waiting outside of a professor's office ( I was waiting for his office hours to begin) and another student (who I didn't know) arrived after I did. Not long afterwards, the professor arrived and the other student hurried into his office before I could, knowing full well that I had arrived before he did. What would possess this student to perform such an act of rudeness? Was he (like the elevator gang) also in a hurry? If so, why perform a random act of selfish ness? Perhaps to save a few minutes? All of this leads up to a point that I'd like to make. As I said before, college life may be busy and frustrating, but that doesn't give anyone an excuse to use despicable manners. When I am stressed out and have an urge to act like a punk, I usually try to remember three simple words that I learned in kindergarten; "the Golden Rule." Do you all remember "the Golden agency for you," The Kherson Rose Agency states on its Web page. The agency introduces Western men to Russian and Ukrainian women. Among the 39 pages are several seductively posed women eager to fall in love with an Ameri can man. Surely their interest in getting a green card has nothing to do with it. "Olga is seventeen. She is 5'7 and 100 lbs. She has brown hair and brown eyes," the agency's site states. "She is a student who models occasionally. Never married and having no children, she speaks English with excellent vocabulary... Olga is search ing for a man up to age 38." What's up Jackass? lIMIE IliAl tail I iit ; ! 0 H Well MTV has done it again, with the premier of their new show Jackass, they have sunk the level of television in America to a new all-time low. And by putting it on Sunday nights after their new WWF w- 4 N Alt ,144 are:guaran teed an ie'6 Ili ost v oiti who will immedi I y t t •'r kyards g 4 : and try ot in that they just witnessed. After showing a disclaimer that only serves to encourage people by saying that this show is done by idiots, they proceed to show jokes that are so horrible and disgusting that they really have no place on tv. They fake bicycle wrecks with a fake baby on the bike to horrify onlook ers, they shock each other with tazers, then to top it all off, a person is locked inside a port-a-potty, which is then turned upside down. Boy what uplifting televi sion! When you hear people calling for TV ratings and various forms of censorship, shows like this are the reason why. While I am against censorship, shows like this have no place in our society. How low do we really have to sink before we hit bottom? watch to see about that 0ne...) CBS is ready for a new fall season after concluding their very interesting summer season with Big Brother and Survivor. Classic CBS returns include The King of Queens (cute, simple storyline), Everybody Loves Raymond (except me), and Judging Amy (you go girl!). As for new shows, CBS takes the gold. Seven new prime -time shows make it almost like a new station. They range from Bette to The Fugitive (isn't it funny how a lot of the classic big-screen stories and actors are coming to prime time TV!?) Well now that you know what is hot this fall on prime time TV, I'm probably going to get a lot of letters from your teachers. I have only one plea...don't let this new fall line-up interfere with your studying. Remember, school comes first! And hey, don't worry about missing all the fall episodes because of your schoolwork...you can always watch them next summer! KICS'A • Rule"? Using it can be a good way to live your life. For example, has anyone ever called you late at night, disturbing your slumber? If so, you probably got really mad at that person. The whole predicament could have been avoided if the caller had used "the Golden Rule" They would have realized that most of the inhabitants of the Eastern time zone were sleeping, and made the right decision; not to call and wake you up. In closing, I'd just like to add that an individual should always try to use their good manners and be on their best behavior because they only get one chance to make a first impression on someone. Chances are, if you live your life being kind and proper, you'll not only earn respect from your peers, but you'll probably feel good about yourself too! BE= The picture of Olga has her neck tilted back, eyes closed and mouth slightly askew in an orgasmic expression. A warning to those who plan on contacting Olga: She is just 17, which means after the journey to the Ukraine your next visit could be to jail for statutory rape. "Send Olga a rose, a translated one-page letter and a photograph for only $25," the agency states in its advertisement. So the next time a Saturday night passes, remem ber that you're only a plane ticket away from a foreign soul mate. Feel better already?
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